droptheious | Deerington inbox

Hey.
So I didn't turn my fluid off because I wanted to make sure you too didn't get hurt before I got there.
I may have overheard you and Fern arguing a little there.
I just wanted you to know I think you did the right thing by reaching out for help.
I don't know Fern very well but I understand he has some hang ups.
We shared emotions for a little in Rapture. It was weird.
I think it's good that you're there for him.
Keep it up.

[Oh shit. Varian sees the first few lines of her message and launches his Fluid across the room.

NOPE. ]

[Then he picks it up and starts to read it. The horrible, guilty feeling that's been gnawing at him since saving her from the fire is back and in full force. He should tell her. She deserves to know.

But what if she decides (rightly) that he was a monster and keeps the hell away from him? That he just loses her forever.

The guilt can't be half as bad as that, right?

The little (...) appears a few times as he starts and deletes a bunch of replies to her. This was so much easier back home- when he didn't have the option of keeping people in the dark. Everyone knew what he did, they either forgave him or they didn't. He couldn't and didn't have any choice in the process. Now he does- and he can't decide what the best course of action is.

God, he wishes Rapunzel or Eugene were here. They'd know what to do. Hell, at this point, he'd even take Lance. Maybe Cass? No... no, probably not Cass. He wants someone to tell him what he should do- what the morally right thing is. But they're not here, and he has to figure this out on his own. He doesn't know if he trusts himself to make the right call. ]

It's more complicated than that. A LOT more complicated. It's not just Fern's hangups we were talking about.

[The fact he's not quizzing her about the emotion sharing is probably a sign.]

I'm looking out for him because... because I know he needs it. It's not just about being there for him because it's the right thing to do. It's just-

[Does he even want her to know? He always wanted a clean slate back home. A clean slate was what he was aiming for at the start. Now he has one and he feels awful for maintaining it. It feels like lying. He can live with that with the other people he's met in Deerington. For some reason, it doesn't settle right when it comes to her. ]

There's a lot of things you don't know about me.

Edited 2020-04-05 02:13 (UTC)

[Ruby knew it was more complicated then that. She could tell that Fern seemed to know words to use to try and cut at Varian. She knew from the way he smiled even when there was something eating away at him that he wasn't telling her something. She didn't expect to know everything yet. He certainly didn't know everything about her yet either.

It was not the first time she had experienced people hiding the truth from her. Her Uncle following her Mistral without telling her, knowing full well that she had a target on her back. Professor Ozpin and well... just about everything with that bag of worms. She didn't think Varian was doing this to hurt her or anyone here. From what Varian had told her about himself it seemed like he was trying to do what was right thing back home.

Her eyes glanced down to the lamp that hung from her side. Her own words echoed in the back of her mind. "What is Ozpin hiding from us?"

She didn't for an instant believe that something like that would be necessary here. Varian was already being more honest with her then Ozpin had been.]

Yeah. I had a feeling that might be the case.

I could say the same thing too.

You don't have to share with me if you don't want to. I'm not going to force you to say anything. I've seen how you act and I think your heart is in the right place.

How about I tell you some things about me? And you can jump in if you feel like it.

Or you can just ask me whatever you want. I'm game.

[Maybe if she gave a little. It might make him feel better about it.]

Edited 2020-04-05 03:48 (UTC)

[She throws him a lifeline and he's tempted to take it. He can just bury everything away again and go back to pretending. He can remain whatever she's decided he is in her mind and she doesn't need to know any different. She can still think the best of him and he doesn't have to worry about her vanishing.

...But it feels wrong to do so. He doesn't want to lie to her. She's been a good friend to him and she deserves the truth. ]

You might not say that after. It's really bad.

[That's an understatement and he knows it. He was a monster and once she knows that, things will never be the same again. But at least they'd be honest. And of course, she'd offer some of her own stories up too. Because that's just how Ruby is. She's so decent and she deserves better than to be spending her time around people like him. ]

Only if you want to. It doesn't have to be an equivalent exchange of awfulness. You don't have to bring up painful memories you'd rather avoid on my account.

Maybe. I'm willing to take that chance that. Let's rate it on a scale of 1 to 10.

1 being you took the last cookie from the cookie jar. 10 being the fate of the entire world is at stake.

Where do you think it sits?

[It was a broad scale, but these were the kind of odds she tended to deal with back at home. It was hard to explain so she wasn't going to try at the moment.]

Yeah. We'll keep it simple for now.

Silver eyes. Like mine. They are a super rare trait where I come from. I've only known two other people who have had them. My mom and my mentor, Maria.

My uncle first told me about them. There isn't a lot of knowledge about them but there's a handful of stories saying that those with silver eyes are destined to live the life of a warrior. That they can strike down Grimm with a single glance.

There aren't any Grimm around here so I can't really show you. But it's true.

9

[A simple answer, an easy number to come to. Would he have settled with razing Corona to the ground if he'd been successful in his attack? Would that have sated him or would he have gone further? Would he have turned his rage on the rest of the world? He honestly doesn't know. He'd like to think he would have stopped, but he was so angry. He just wanted the whole damn world to burn.

He'd noticed her eyes- of course he had. He'd made a mental note that they were unusual but had thought maybe in her world they weren't. Turns out he was wrong on that one.]

So you have like... eye beams? Do they only work on Grimm? It must be a helpful ability to have in a fight. I'm guessing it's not as simple as just glaring at one? Otherwise, you wouldn't need Crescent Rose.

[He knows he's letting himself get distracted. He's... working his way up to his thing.]

9, huh? That's pretty bad.

So when you said that you were out there working with your princess to make things better, was that true? Or were you making that up?

[She's fine with talking about herself as a bit of a distraction. She's not out to force any information out of him. If he wants to tell her then he can do it on his terms.]

Kind of. My mentor gave me a good smack on the head when I talked about them like eye beams though. As far as I know they only work on Grimm with like one exception.

It would be a super handy ability to use if I could do it reliably. I didn't have a clue how they worked until I met Maria. So I'm just kind of fumbling to get them to work now. It's more about a state of mind and I haven't got that down yet.

So yeah. I do still need Crescent Rose. I fight people too and my eyes don't work against them so I don't expect to be getting rid of it anytime soon.

But you'd think with such a powerful ability it would be more common in my world. That there'd be a bit more information beyond just old stories.

Edited 2020-04-05 19:22 (UTC)

Yeah. It was really bad.

It was true. I am trying to make things better. But it also involves me trying to make up for all the bad things I've done. I'm trying to even out the scales, I guess.

[It never really occurred to him she'd have to fight people too- he wonders how dangerous her world is. It sounded bad enough that she was dealing with monsters- to have to deal with people too?]

You'd be surprised. That happens back home, too. The most dangerous magic we have in my world is confined to one scroll and I'm the only person alive who's figured out how to read the code on it. It's one of the reasons I need to get back. To get that information to the right people and away from the wrong person.

I'd say I'd help you with it here, but without any Grimm, I guess we're just going to have to settle for not knowing.

[God, does he hate not knowing. He stares at his screen for a short time, exhales. Okay. He can do this- he'll just have to live with wherever the dice fall.]

Okay. I'm ready to tell you my thing.

Alright.

Good to know. That does effect where this sits on the scale as far as I'm concerned.

[She wont say where it's fallen to until she has some more information. She's got opinions based on what he's said.]

I am surprised! Sounds like you have a big job ahead of you.

That kind of plays into what I'm referring to when it comes to silver eyes. There are people out there who have gone out of their way over the years to destroy any information about them. They've also hunted and killed us because of our abilities.

I think that's why I'm the only only who still has them.

[She pauses briefly. Then responds.]

Alright. Lay it on me.

Edited 2020-04-05 20:15 (UTC)

[He doubts it will do much for her scale, once she learns the truth. Once she realises just how terrible he was- what he's capable of. ]

I have. I just have to... get there. Somehow.

That's terrible. I'm sorry to hear that. That's... well, there's no good reason to kill people, but that's a really bad reason.

[He makes a mental note of that though. She said her mother had them, and if she's the only person left with them...well, two and two make four. He sucks in a breath- he's kind of glad this is over text- it means he doesn't have to worry about a waver in his voice- he doesn't have to worry about giving up him running away. He can just... say it. ]

So. There are these black rocks in my world. They're a whole complicated thing but all you need to know is that they're unbreakable and they are taking over our world. They raise up from the ground in sharp spikes. They were taking over my village- destroying homes, crops, everything.

My dad is the village leader. He went to the King to talk about them and I went with him. But dad had a past I didn't know about- which again, complicated, but he was supposed to protect the knowledge of the rocks away from everyone. So he lied to the King. Said nothing was wrong. I told the Princess this and she promised she'd help me work things out. I just wanted to help my village.

Dad forbade me from touching the rocks, but I didn't listen. I created a compound that made an amber that would encase them. Dad found out and rushed in- he pushed me out of the way of the expanding amber and got stuck in it himself. It was encasing him with the rocks.

[He still has nightmares about it. Seeing his father slowly being swallowed alive by an experiment he made himself.]

I went to the Princess for help. Her hair reacted to the rocks- they were connected somehow. I begged her to help me, but she was dealing with a snowstorm that was engulfing her Kingdom, and her parents were missing. She couldn't come. By the time I got back home to my dad, the amber had encased him completely.

This is all just the setup, by the way. For your siding scale of awfulness.

[Ruby holds back any of her usual confident claims that he'd get there. She thought it was important to hear him out and learn just what had been eating him up inside.

She understands a complicated situation better then anyone. So she takes a moment to let it sink in. She can't help but draw parallels to what had happened between Salem and Ozma. The desperation, the secrets. She didn't know what was coming next but she had feeling she knew the tune.]

I understand. The sliding scale reserves it's judgement.

Keep going.

Edited 2020-04-05 21:08 (UTC)

[It's SUCH a complicated mess. Maybe if his dad had explained the black rocks better- his connection to them- explained why Varian shouldn't mess with them... well, maybe things would have ended differently. But he didn't. And this is the life he ended up living.]

The Princess got her magical hair powers from a flower. I decided that maybe THAT would be able to break the rocks and free my father. But I didn't trust her to help me on her own any more. I decided she betrayed me- I was stupid, and wrong, but there you go. I drugged the guards with a truth serum and found out where the flower was hidden. Then I conned Rapunzel into taking me through the castle to find it. I used her, and I didn't even care. When he found it, it was rotting, but I took the whole thing anyway- I forced her to commit treason and I ran with it.

The flower didn't even work. The magic in it had gone. It did nothing to free my dad, and that's when I realised the magic wasn't in the flower any more- it was all in Rapunzel. I needed her, but I'd burned THAT bridge. So I created a distraction in the kingdom. I turned Ruddiger into a monster and unleashed him on the town. He tore up the guards pretty badly, and while everyone was dealing with him, I kidnapped the Queen to use as bait to lure Rapunzel to my lab.

[Ruddiger survived, and it didn't hurt him any, but he COULD have died, and Varian didn't even care any more. It was all a means to an end. Everything was, at that point, and everything and everyone was simply cannon fodder for that goal. ]

Edited 2020-04-05 21:48 (UTC)

[Ruby keeps reading. She can't deny she has flashes back to the fall of Beacon. How it had it had been infiltrated, divided and then attacked. Memories she would much rather forget and move on from but still haunted her to this day. The story kept going the same way, someone had been hurt. Someone had been hurt, someone felt betrayed. Someone was willing to betrayed.

She couldn't deny that it sounded pretty awful. Still there was a more human side to what Varian had to say and ending to the story that hadn't appeared in her own.]

And I take it she took the bait?

[Seeing it on the screen like a fairytale of his own crappy existence settled heavily on him. The words made it so very real- not that he thought they weren't real before, of course. That much he was very aware of. But he's never written it down before. It doesn't feel good. ]

She did. She and the King came to save the Queen. What remained of the guards and a handful of Rapunzel's friends tried a direct assault, but I set up a bunch of automatons. They kept them busy. I laid a trap for Rapunzel and the King. I forced Rapunzel to help me. I could have just asked her but I didn't, I gave her a choice. I released my amber solution by the Queen. She either helped me or the amber would take her mother like it took her father. So. Not really a choice at all.

I didn't even know if using her hair on the amber would have killed her- I knew there was a chance and I didn't care. It didn't work. Nothing worked. The King and Queen got free and I just snapped. I got aboard one of my automatons and attacked them. I literally told Rapunzel that if I couldn't have a happy ending, then she couldn't either. I tried to crush the queen and Rapunzel's best friend to death with my machine. I was killing them. But Rapunzel figured out her connection to the rocks and stopped me, destroyed my mechanical army and I went to jail for a year for high treason.

And you know, even THEN after ALL that, she still asked them to go easy on me. After everything. Because that's the kind of person she is.

[Rapunzel has always been an endless well of goodness and forgiveness in a way Varian could never understand. She really was the epitome of the Sundrop. ]

Anyway, Rapunzel went off on an adventure to understand the rocks better while I was in jail. I had time to reflect and realise what I did was wrong. When I was there, I met an extremist in there. He convinced me to help him and his people take over the Kingdom. I wiped the memory of the King and Queen and aimed to do it to everyone else, too. I figured that was the only way I could be forgiven. Rapunzel showed up and the extremists told me they were gonna destroy Corona instead. I didn't want any more people to get hurt. So I helped Rapunzel stop them. I cleaned up the mess I made. I tried to sacrifice myself to keep everyone safe, but she didn't let me.

[And god, he'd been HAPPY for the airship to blow with him aboard. Because that would have solved everything. All the pain he was carting around, the fact that he'd done so much harm. But Rapunzel didn't let him, she'd saved his life. Given him a second chance that he never wanted to waste.]

Corona was saved, Rapunzel used her new powers to save my dad and I was given a ticket to freedom. I've been trying to make up for everything since then. Trying to help her deal with the latest threat to the kingdom. Trying to make the world better than what I did to it.

[That is a whole lot to take in. She doesn't respond right away because her head is spinning trying to figure out how to take this. It's not as vivid as when she literally watched Salem and Ozma's life play out before her eyes, but it doesn't make it any less painful consider what Varian had been through and had done because of it.

The lengths he had gone to save his father. The lengths he had went to try and make people forget what he had done after. It reminded her a lot of the lengths that Salem had went to bring Ozma back and the lengths she had gone to defy the Gods and their punishment.

There was a key difference in those stories though. Varian was trying to make up for what he had done and Salem was still... Salem. If Varian's friends. If the people he had done this too had been able to give him another shot. She felt the like the least she could do is give him the same chance. He hadn't given her any reason to not trust him here. He had saved her life. She had spent time with people who thought they were pariahs and people who actually were. He was good people now as far as she was concerned even if he hadn't always been.

She's probably spent a little too much time thinking this over, but he had typed it and she had to mull it all over now.]

Varian.

I don't really know what to say to all of that. If all of that is true and I don't have any reason not to believe you. Then it sounds like you had a real streak of awful in your life. It sounds like you were hurt and you hurt people right back whether they deserved it or not. That is pretty despicable I won't argue with that.

At the same time you were trying to save your dad. I don't know what I lengths I would go to do the same thing. I know that I put my life on the line to save anyone I can whenever I can. I can understand wanting to do whatever was in your power to help someone.

I can't really judge you based off what you did in the past. It's not my place to do that. I can only trust in what I've seen you do and what you've told me. It sounds like it would have been a lot easier for you not to tell me all this and carry on the way you we've going. You didn't take the easy way out. You were honest and you put everything you had on the table knowing this could blow up in your face. I've met a lot of people who wouldn't be willing to do the same thing if they were pressed to.

Your friends at home were willing to give you a second a chance. They seemed to think that you were worth it. I want to believe in the same Varian that they believed in. I'll put my trust in the Varian who went into a burning building to save his friend.

I can't take away the guilt you feel for what you did there. I can't forgive you for anything you've done back there. All I can do is trust in who you are now. All I can do is be here for you now.

Thank you for telling me all of this, for trusting me with your story. It was very brave of you.

[He wasn't expecting a response for a while. Hell, if he were brutally honest with himself, he didn't expect her to reply at all. Ruby's a decent person, and she thought he was the same. He hid the truth from her, and she deserved better than that.

It would be smarter for her to just cut her losses and run now. Because he'd been a mess and he was still a mess. A part of him was always worried he was only a small misstep away from becoming a monster again- because he was sure a part of him was still broken and awful. Why would he inflict that on someone like her?

But she does respond. And he takes his time to mull over her answer. It's a better response than he expected- by a long way. Not quite the utter forgiveness Rapunzel provided him, and he's glad of that. Rapunzel's attitude is smothering sometimes- she may be trying to make him feel accepted and better, but it only serves to remind him how terrible he is. At least Ruby is more grounded than that and he's glad for it. ]

It's... a lot, I know. And I needed to tell you. You matter a lot to me. You deserved the truth. Then at least you could make more informed choices about spending time with me. It didn't feel fair any more, keeping you in the dark. It wasn't exactly lying, but it was close enough. Hiding the truth from you didn't feel like a real option any more, brave or not.

I don't expect forgiveness, I sure don't deserve it. But thank you. For that. And for hearing me out. If you want to bail out now, you absolutely can. I genuinely wouldn't blame you. No hard feelings.

[He doesn't want her to. He wants to stay the Varian who would go into a burning building to save his friend. He wants to keep being the Varian she can believe in, instead of... that. But it's only fair he gives her the option. She wouldn't do it herself- but with a choice... he doesn't know. Maybe. ]

Maybe. It's just not my place to judge for you for what you've done in your world. I think your friends have the right idea though. I'm sure they've seen the same good in you that I see.

Honestly,I appreciate that. I've had some bad experiences when it comes to information being withheld. The fact that you actually came forward with this on your own says a lot about you. I meant that.

You're welcome. I'm around to talk to whenever you need it.

I am going to bail out though, but only because I could really go for a burger right now. Do you want to come?

Thanks, Ruby. I really appreciate the offer. I'm doing my best to make sure that good isn't misplaced.

[Fenr pointed out there's a damn good chance Deerington will force him back the other way one day- that it had a knack for such things. He's under no allusions that maybe that might be the case one day. That he'll backslide and make a mess of things again.

But maybe he has a fighting chance with friends around. ]

[And then, just like that, she was back to good 'ol Ruby Rose. He lets out a soft, sad 'heh' that she can't hear. Okay, Varian. Stop moping and pick yourself up again. ]

Yeah. Sure. That sounds like a good idea. I don't think I've eaten since...

I want to say 'yesterday?'

[Save him from himself, Ruby.]

Well if it helps. I think you're on the right track.

[She had gotten that spiel herself. That this place was going to change her and there were just things she wouldn't stop here. That she wouldn't be able to keep all the promises she had made. Maybe they were right but she wasn't going to just accept something like that without a fight.

She wanted to keep believing and fighting for the people that needed a hand to stand up when times were tough.]

I have no idea how you do that. I would die. Literally die.

I haven't eaten since breakfast and I'm starving.

I'll be there in a jiffy.

It actually does help a lot. Thank you.

[His own ability to judge how 'good' he's being is horribly skewed. It helps to have decent people around to let him know he's still on the straight and narrow. ]

Honestly most of it is because I forget to eat rather than from any actual skill. Same with sleeping.

Great, see you soon.

ok i know you're good with plants but what about animals

[And then that's followed up by a short video he shot with his fluid, in no way helping the small child that's in it.]

i think my bird wanted to destroy that kid
maybe the kid's evil
i don't know
what's going on with this thing

[Fern what the heck buddy.]

Is that a magpie? I honestly couldn't tell you why it's doing that to that child. I don't know a whole lot about animals.

[Then, way later than he probably should have:]

Is the kid okay?

[Wait, tienemybest?

... Oh, whoops.]

uh
that was supposed to be for Logan
sorry

i don't know about the kid, i left when Robert Palmer got bored and flew off
she's a townsperson so who cares

The grumpy guy who lives in the forest?

Well, I do agree that the townspeople are awful. But we should probably try to care a tiny little bit. Like. The smallest bit.

I guess.

Did you give your bird a person name?

[Varian, your raccoon is basically called Rodger, don't do this. ]

yeah the grumpy guy with the huge muscles

ha ha no

[Sorry Varian, the townspeople are awful and he hates them.]

no Kurt did
also i thought she was a he at the time
and she isn't really mine
she just hangs around a lot
and built a nest in my treehouse

I've never met him. He likes plants?

[Varian hates them too but let's not murder people, Fern.]

Huh. Well, that's kinda nice. That you have an animal friend. Magpies are supposed to be very intelligent, you know.

i don't know if he likes them
but he knows a ton about them
he lives in the cabin near my treehouse so i think he spends a lot of time in the woods

[What about a little murder. Just a tiny bit.]

birds like me a lot
probably because i read more as nest material than another living creature

[Ha ha ha he isn't joking.]

she's really smart
she knows how to harass people and get away with it
i've seen her steal like a million snacks from unsuspecting lunchgoers

I guess every town needs a hermit. Good for him. Living his best life.

[No, Fern. No murder. Not even a tiny bit.]

I mean. Yeah I guess so. They probably think you're safe. Hah! All fear her winged sneak attack!

he isn't a total hermit, he lives with Kurt
and Wrench i think
they're all an item

[Wow, killjoy.]

she's made a career in divebombing people

Is Wrench a name of an actual person? Because that's a tool. Usually.

[Varian, you're talking to a guy called Fern and you know someone who genuinely goes by 'Angry', come on.]

Also... good for them? I guess? Romance in the nightmare dimension again. I bearly understand it in the regular dimension so sure.

Aww, I'm glad she found her place in the world.

you know i'm not sure if that's his name or just a nickname
i've never asked

[... And now he's wondering.]

yeahhhh i'm starting to realize i know a lot of people who are dating here
no idea why

she's lucky, not everyone can say that

It could go either way. Some names are unique.

I guess it does something for them.

They really can't. It's usually a mess for most of us.

Wrench doesn't seem all that weird to me
but i guess it's nothing like human names huh

maybe

ha ha yep that's the rest of us, total messes

I mean I don't really have a normal human name either, so I haven't really got a place to talk.

Go us, and our total mess-ness...ness? Is that a word? I don't think it's a word.

you don't?
i mean i wouldn't really know
back home humans are pretty much extinct except for Finn
all i got to go off of are ancient human ruins and being stuck here

who cares, it describes us perfectly

Not really. It just means "variable". You know. Like changing a lot. It's a sciencey kind of term. I don't think my dad picked it for me.

Wait.

Back up. Humans are extinct? Like. EXTINCT extinct?

so your mom then?

oh yeah
mostly extinct
there's still Finn
and Martin i guess

and Simon, but only sometimes
i guess Betty counted for a while before she went bonkers and disappeared
maybe Susan? still not sure what's with her

Maybe? I mean. Makes sense. I don't know, I don't remember her and dad never really talks about her.

That seems like... a lot of variables in the "probably extinct" thing. Then again, if there's only one left in the definitely still human category, yeah, gonna say extinct.

Well. That's depressing.

man, i know what that's like

Simon and Betty are pretty specific circumstances though
those circumstances being a magic life extension and a hole in spacetime

yeah i generally try not to think about it
it makes me all soul-searchy and sad

Yeah those sound super specific and not really within the realms of normality. Unless lots of beings in your world have magic life extensions?

I can see why that would happen. Yeah. I think that'd do that to me, too.

it happens but it isn't that common
Simon's case is a wizard thing
once he was human again he started kicking the bucket like, right then and there

it's cool getting to know humans here though
and learning about how they lived

Oh. Right. That'd about do it. Magic's fickle like that.

I bet you could learn a lot from history books. Or in my case future books. I'm catching up on a century-plus of human life on Earth and it's a ride.

that's a nice way of putting it

i've been to the library here
it's kind of boring

I'm being politer than I strictly should be.

Libraries are only boring if you haven't found the right books. Like, you know you can read about knights and swords and stuff, right? There's plenty of books on those.

[It's a dirty trick to get his friend into a library, but sometimes you have to play dirty.]

that's got to get tiring

i know
it's not like i hate reading or anything
i like some books
i got a book from home here
most books are just boring
and libraries are too
you sit around being quiet for hours and hours how is that any fun

It definately is.

Man, you know what I wish I had here? The Flynnigan Rider books. Now those were great. They weren't history books or anything. They were stories about this swashbuckling adventurer. They're amazing. I bet you'd love them- not in the least bit boring.

[Varian, you don't think complex math questions are boring, you don't have a good yardstick here- correct as you might be in this instance. ]

ok swashbuckling adventures sounds up my alley
i read a lot of those kinds of books back in Ooo
stuff about Robin Hood and Billy and whoever

I thought as much. They're really exciting! I loved them a lot. Eugene even took the name for his fake thief-persona. But yeah, very like Robin Hood. Except that Flynn is super rich and goes on adventures anyway. I don't know who Billy is.

ok if you can get a hold of those books i'll read em
they sound fun

Billy was the Legendary Champion of Ooo
real heroic guy
super nice, too

I wonder if they're in the library. Or maybe the bookstore? I guess I can take a look.

Oh, wow, that's cool. What sort of things did he do?

you should! let me know how that turns out

[Saves him a trip to the library.]

fought a bear
saved a lot of princesses
slayed an evil ocean
pummeled the Lich into tree sap and imprisoned him there for hundreds of years
loads of stuff, not even going to get into everything he did with his cool ex-girlfriend Canyon

Can do, Bud.

Okay, that sounds pretty adventurous. Are there any books about him? I'd love to read them.

back home there are
i haven't looked at the library here

[Uuuuuggggh don't tell him he actually needs to go there and look.]

Maybe we could check it out? You never know! They might be there.

[Come on, loser, we're going to the library. ]

a trip to the library sounds like the most boring thing ever, dude

You just haven't been to a library with ME yet. I'll show you how to have a great time!

[He absolutely will not. ]

[Well, if he needed any confirmation that Varian was a gigantic nerd....]

ugh
fine

Great! I'll see you soon, you won't regret it!

[Yes he will. Every day. Forever.]

THIS SONG IS SO CUTE PENNY
LIKE SHARE AND COMMENT IF YOU AGREE

[Attached Audio file]

[It's Ruby singing along to this.]

[Varian really hasn't caught up with 'modern' music- there have been bigger fish to fry. So he didn't know what to expect from a music file. It's blatantly not meant for him, but he's going to play it anyway. No one can stop him.]

Okay, fair, that IS pretty cute. Also not Penny. But I appreciate the musical interlude anyway.

[Ruby has been having bad luck when it comes to texting all day. Why should this time be any different?

At least this time around whoever was responding was at least honest about it.

Then her eyes scan over the user name.

WHY DID THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO HER!?

SHE JUST SENT HER DUMB SINGING TO A BOY.

Normally this is not something that would cross her mind for an instant. But the two had done an awful lot of sharing over the last month. AND HE CALLED IT CUTE ...And if Yang found out about this she was going to get teased relentlessly for the rest of her life.

OH NO OH NO OH NO OH NO.

WHAT IS SHE GOING TO DO!?]

wgjoiagjawgoiagagjiowagiawgawojigawgiagaesjngasegsoe THANKS NOT BENNY.

I'M GLAD YOU LIKED IT YOURE WELCOME

[Nailed it. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH]

[He will stand by his assessment. He's not used to any of this, maybe if he was, he'd be considerably more awkward. As is, he's utterly oblivious. Also he has never experienced a keysmash before in his life. For a brief moment, he wondered if she was having a stroke and had a flash of CONCERN. But oh, no, never mind, she's back. ]

I did. It made great working background music. Not Benny approves. Ten stars.

What was that thing you did with all the letters? Did your dog get your Fluid?

[Her fingers fumbled around nearly dropping her fluid as her embarrassment grew over this whole situation.

Varian why are you doing this to her? Her poor heart can't take it. Her typing only devolves as she just wants to crawl under bed and die. Where was a life or death situation when she needed it?

At the very least he gave her a good out.]

GREAT SUPER SJGSENN

YES ADWN HE'S CHEWING ON IT RIGHT NOWGOTTA GO FIGHTHIMFORIT

TTYLBQQUGNAG

[Sorry, Ruby, he has no idea what he's doing. He does snort softly to himself because that's a lot of Ruby-Grade enthusiasm and it's hecking adorable. His brain does manage to catch up then and give a soft little oh no at that thought, but he's just going to quash it down with the rest of his 'no, don't feel that' emotions. It's fine. He's fine. Everything is fine. ]

Okay, good luck. Let me know if you need me to try and get the dog drool out of it or anything.

But hey, feel free to send me more songs whenever. I can expand my music knowledge via you.

[Wow Varian's emotions. Way to be absolutely no help to Ruby right about about. Everything is NOT fine right now.]

NO! IMEANWILL DO-I'M IWFAJNO ZWEI THIS IS NOT A CHEW TOY!!! LET GO!

[She's not sure she could make it any more obvious that there is not a dog chewing on her fluid by actually texting that but she's panicking.

It's only made worse by the next message. It wouldn't be surprising if smoke started to come out of her ears because her brain just went and overheated. She'll just be handling simple requests.]

YEAH SURE OF COURSE ANY TIME HAPPY TO HELP

Edited 2020-04-09 01:49 (UTC)

[Varian's emotions are just going to make life hard for everyone. So rude.]

I'm impressed at your texting ability from a dog's mouth.

[Yeah, Ruby, he's going to not-subtly call you out on that. Varian's just That Way. It's a shame he doesn't know about emoticons yet. There would absolutely be a passive-aggressive smiley face there.]

I can even send you one of mine someday. Once I know some more... actual songs. You know. Fair trade and all.

[Because the dulcet tones of Jeremy Jordan won't make this any worse, obviously.]

[Jeez. She would be a lot more offended if she weren't running on auto pilot right now.

Still she's busted which means it's time to bail out.]

RIGHT I SHOULD GET BACK TO THAT GOTTA GO

YEAH SURE SEND A SONG SOMETIME IM SURE ITLL BE GREAT

BYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEE

[Yeah. When that happens she's just straight up doomed.

Well time to take five and plot to destroy Varian's Fluid.]

Okay Ruby. See you around.

[That was so weird. Ruby why are you so weird. It's endearing but still. ]

Do you want to get paid to make more purple goo things?

[ this, thankfully, doesn't misfire. it's been on her mind since she met varian, but given that she's not necessarily a woman capable of asking people for much, it's taken her a little to get to a place where she wants to ask him if he wants to chill at the apothecary. after all, he might have cooler things to do. ]

[Varian really isn't used to people taking his inventions all that seriously. Sure, they're used back home, and the gang always appreciate whatever he can cook up for them- but there's a difference being able to help in an actual war effort and having it be a job. This makes it more respectable than finding the nerdy little weirdo who can make a thing to stop the other (magic) thing from killing you or whatever. ]

Like a job? Because I can make so much more than purple goo things. And also yes. Yes please, I very much want that.

If you want it to be a job, it can be a job.

[ she honestly has no idea how jobs even work, in all honesty. but if he wants it to be a job, then it can be a job. how hard could it be giving someone a job? ]

You can make whatever you want as long as it doesn't burn anything down. I figure the apothecary can use someone of your calibre.

Also your friend, Ruddiger.

Well. I've never really done it as a job before. It's mostly been helping out the Princess whenever she asks.

[And doing it for free in an attempt to scrub his crappy past clean.]

Don't worry, I can save my explosions for my lab back home. I can just bring you the finished product.

I think he likes your cat.

[DOES HE?? That's the eternal question.]

[Alright, so he has misgivings about even doing this in the first place given what had happened last time he'd shown Varian anything, but he knows no one else will really be able to appreciate what Maul now possesses.]

Look what just arrived for me.

[Maul ignites the Darksaber, which looks far different then his other lightsaber. It has a different handle, blade shape, and even produces a different Thrruummmm! then his red one does. Maul just got one of his favorite toys back to play around with.]

[Maul, you just about make his day every time you show him your cool-ass future tech. You really do. And wow, WOW that looks familiar. ]

Man, if you were from my world, I'd ask if you'd managed to somehow make a lightsaber out of the black rocks. They look just like that- except without the humming so much.

How is this one made?

[Maul flips it around a few times in his hand without even looking at it, back and forth, showing off his skills with the blade before letting it come to rest in an upright position again.]

I'm not entirely sure. This is a very old weapon. Thousands of years at least. It was created by the only Mandalorian who ever became a Jedi. Mandalorians are great warriors and I rule their planet back in the galaxy. The Jedi are those that follow the side of Light. This weapon became infamous. The Jedi kept it until the Mandalorians took it back by right of force. Whoever rules Mandalore may wield the Darksaber.

[Varian is very impressed by the display, he has zero sword skills- it's always cool to see what people can do with theirs. ]

Ohhhh, so it's basically like a royal sword? I think the King has one of those.

[He remembers because it was waved threateningly at him when he kidnapped the Queen.]

His doesn't do anything like that, though. It's really cool! Does it have better performance than a regular lightsaber?

Something like that. It was kept among a group of Mandalorians called Death Watch until I defeated their leader and it became my right to wield it.

[He'll just leave out the part where he beheaded their Pre Viszla at the end of a duel to the death.]

Not that I can see. When I've wielded both of them in battle, they seem equal. It appears more of what sets the Darksaber apart is its general aesthetic.

Ohhh. So it was a trial by fire kind of thing. Okay.

[Seems legit.]

I mean, that's kind of disappointing. I would have hoped it had a little more to it than just aesthetic.

Mandalorians generally don't respect you unless you can beat them on their level. So I had to use no Force powers during the fight.

[Instead he beat the man half to death the old-fashioned way: with his fists.]

Perhaps there is something else to the weapon. If I give it to you for study, can I have a guarantee it will come back in one piece?

Well, that's pretty cool. Evening out the battlefield.

[Good job, danger uncle! Varian considerably brightens up.]

Yes!!! Absolutely!!! I won't break it at all, I swear. Please, I'd love to take a look at it.

Indeed. That's the only way anyone normal can give me a challenge.

[Cocky? Yes. But if a full religion of space wizards hasn't killed him yet, no normal humans are going to be the ones to do it.]

Alright. I will allow you to study it then. I'm only doing this because there's only about three people in this town who can fully appreciate this weapon and you're one of them.

Nothing like confidence, I guess.

[There's no judgement there, he's pretty damn sure Maul can run rings around him. It's earned confidence.]

Thanks! I'm gonna go right ahead and take that as a compliment.

Alright. Come by the house and I shall let you take it for study. There will be nothing set on fire this time.

[Or Varian will not to take a look at any of his new toys if they ever come in.]

Great, I'll be there before you know it. And I won't set a single thing on fire.

[Ruby isn't going to risk sending this via text in case Louis somehow gets a hold of it. So she delivers it Varian's door. She doesn't knock or anything. She might be seen and get super embarrassed if that happens.]

Hey Varian,

I heard you were getting on in years and thought you might appreciate a letter since that's what old people like.

I've also included some schematics for something I'm working on. It should help you get around once your hip starts to go. I hear it's usually the first thing to start acting up.

I'm not quite finished so let me know if you want anything changed. I'm still working on a catchy name for it.

Your pal,

Ruby Rose.

P.S. You're Old!

P.P.S. Happy Birthday.

P.P.P.S. This is also a thanks for the whole saving thing me thing.

P.P.P.P.S. Do you think your hair strip is like your version of a gray hair? Is your hair just going to go all blue?

P.P.P.P.S. I'm the one with the really cool scythe and can do attitude. Just in case you forgot.

[Attached are the blue prints for a staff that looks way more impressive but kind of like this. ]

Edited 2020-04-17 21:32 (UTC)

[You know, Varian really wasn't expecting anything for his birthday. After all, his last one had been spent behind bars and he hadn't had another back home yet. He kind of forgot he put the damn thing on his Staggr and this is what he gets for that.

Still, he appreciates this a lot, and those schematics look like something special indeed. Pew pew. He could shoot so much alchemy with that thing. Also stab things. Why are you giving him blades, Ruby? Do you hate everyone else?

He sends a letter back because he's a fucking gentleman. He also has Ruddiger deliver it because he's a piece of shit. Ruby can just have the delights of a raccoon thrusting a rolled-up scroll at her before he starts scurrying around looking for whatever he can eat that's around her, chittering under his breath. He didn't sign up for any of this, he liked it better when Varian never came out of the basement. ]

Edited 2020-04-17 22:43 (UTC)

[It's in fancy cursive and everything. You wanna GO, Ruby? You wanna go?!!]

Lady Ruby Rose,

I am indeed getting along in my years and appreciate your kind and thoughtful gesture for my old man eyes. Forsooth, this is how we communicate in ye olden tymes, where I indeed hail from.

I am touched by your crafty plans and look forward to the day where I can, indeed, "pew pew" alchemy at my foes. One day it will assuredly be my most treasured possession. I certainly do need the help for my poor old hip. Sadly, it is not what it used to be.

Your faithful friend,

Varian

P.S. You're older than me.

P.P.S. Thank you and thank you for stalking my Staggr I guess.

P.P.P.S. Literally any time.

P.P.P.P.S. That is not a look anyone can carry off, I've seen it with my own eyes so I sure hope not.

P.P.P.P.S. Wow, thanks. My memory completely blanked who you were. Thanks for the reminder.

P.P.P.P.P.S. You're going to have to give Ruddiger a treat or he'll trash your house.

[Ruddiger is busy getting all the attention and treats that a certain Corgi should be getting right about now. So there's another furry creature trying to navigate the mess that is likely Varian's house.

Unlike Ruddiger though, Zwei is a very well behaved and classy delivery dog. He approaches and drops the letter at Varian's feet. Then let's out a little bark. That'll be one treat or pet please. Tips appreciated.]

[Like... Go on a date?

Also there's a lot of things she nearly died reading on this letter. So he's lucky she has an aura and there is no medical bill. Their in the U.S.A, healthcare ain't cheap.]

Hey Gramps,

I managed to figure out what most of your letter meant except for forsooth? We really need to teach you all the modern words the young kids use these day.

I'm crying for your hip but just tell it to hold out a little longer. You're new and improved walking stick/alchemy launcher will be ready in no time. Then you'll have a handy way to keep all the weird things in town at bay. And probably any young kids wont get off your lawn.

Keep it real,

Ruby Rose.

P.S. Shut up.

P.P.S. I just looked it over once! The Flynnegan Rider series sounds awesome.

P.P.P.S. Right back at you.

P.P.P.P.S. It's not a great look where I'm from either.

P.P.P.P.P.S. See. I knew you were getting old.

P.P.P.P.P.P.S. I'm working to appease my new raccoon overlord. Please take care of Zwei in the meantime.

[He is going to give Zwei ALL THE BELLY RUBS. It's so nice to have a not-asshole animal in his living space for a change. Even if his living space is a trash lab. Look, it's organised chaos. He knows where everything is.

And yes he does, but the chances of his admitting that to himself, let alone her are so very painfully slim, Come back next forever, he might hate himself a little less and be able to deal with his feelings like a functional human being.

Looks like they're doing letters now. This is just a thing now.]

Young-old lady,

It means indeed. And obviously I need to learn all the modern slang you kids say these days. Genuinely though, I overheard someone say the word "meem" the other day and I haven't got a clue what that is please help.

Good! I really do need to keep those kids off my lawn. I thought a few lazer-guided missiles would do the trick but clearly not.

See that's another slang I don't get but I'm gonna assume it's a compliment,

Varian.

P.S. The truth hurts.

P.P.S. They are! I've tried to find them in the library but so far no luck.

P.P.P.S. Maybe no one can pull it off? Maybe a single streak is the only way to go?

P.P.P.P.S. Don't mock my poor affliction, I'm just an old man.

P.P.P.P.P.S. I'm stealing Zwei. He's mine now. You can keep the trash panda. It was my dastardly plan all along. Mwhahahahahaha.

[Zwei appreciates all the belly rubs. He got plenty at home but he had lost his favorite chew toy and the best girl over the last couple weeks. So his usual quota isn't being met.

It's okay. The Rose-Branwen-Xiao Long family has no idea how to actually flirt or have emotions. So that might be enough time for them to figure this out.

They're dumb and once they start something they won't stop.]

Old Codger,

Then why not just write indeed? It's less letters and everything.

Memes are a little different here then from where I'm from, but they're kind of funny pop culture references that get posted a lot. We can figure them out here together.

Kids are crafty like that. You always have to up the game.

It's kind of like saying stay frosty.

Ruby.

P.P.S. It's okay. None of the books from my home are here either.

P.P.P.S. Sometimes just highlights or strips are the way to go.

P.P.P.P.S. You're right. That was very rude of me. I should respect my elders.

P.P.P.P.P.S. I acknowledge this declaration of war. Just know that I will use every method available to me to thwart your evil scheme.

Your lair is officially under siege and I recommend you surrender while you still can. I will save my dog and I will stop you.

[Sorry Varian. There is a dork laying across the road from your house with a sniper rifle ready.]

Edited 2020-04-18 14:19 (UTC)

[It's okay, Zwei. Varian has ALL THE LOVE for the best boy. Also so many snacks. Live with him, Zwei, you'll be the happiest dog prisoner there is.

Together, they might make some sort of dysfunctional attempt at emotions and that'll be a terrifying time for any and all bystanders. Ergo: ]

M'am,

Because it looks fancy. And we're all about fancy in ye olden tymes. It's called culture.

What? THAT'S how it's spelt? MEME? But that's not how it's pronounced?? And of course it's pop culture references, of course. Because that's one thing I know everything about.

I have no idea what being frosty has with anything. Why does anyone want to be cold?

Varian.

P.P.S. I wonder what Deerington has against cool books.

P.P.P.S. GASP. G . A. S . P.

P.P.P.P.S. Oh, you mean my EXCESSIVELY BOOBY TRAPPED HOUSE?! Oh, Miss Rose, you have made a fatal error this day! No quarter shall be given!

[He is absolutely prepared for this. One of his windows opens, a little glass ball getting tossed out onto his pouch. A wall of ice grows out of it, blocking the entrance. HAHAHA!]

[Look. Ruby sees the ice wall come up at his doorway and she can't help but smirk. It didn't look like another letter was getting in there and she had just declared war. Gosh, she was glad he was willing to make light of his villainous past. She didn't often get to play at being hero. It was usually all life and death when it came to that.

She's quick to dash and use her semblance to cross the street and try to do a lap around the house. Trying to see if there was a window he hadn't barricaded or blocked that she can get in. She figured any back doors would already be plenty booby trapped.]

[She's one of the few people he'll joke about it with. Though honestly, it feels good to joke about it. It makes it feel a little less... darker than it was, it weighs a little lighter if he can laugh about it.

He was expecting her semblance, of course. Varian's not the greatest ground fighter, but he's a damn good strategist. All the doors and windows are closed tightly. Except one, it's only partly open, easy to pull open all the way. It looks like it was forgotten in a rush to close everything up.

That or it's a trap. ]

[She'll take that. Honestly it was nice to for her to have shared what she was dealing with at home too. She could only imagine if it made her feel better what it must have done for him. It was refreshing just to have these things out in the open to joke about.

She's not surprised to only find one window easy to get into. The initial note they received said no breaking and entering so she didn't really want to risk getting the authority upset with them because of a game. So the open window would have to do.

She makes a jump for it and manages to get a hold of the ledge. With minor effort she pulls herself up and opens the enough that she'll be able to get in.

She's seen the booby traps he's set up in here before so she hopes she's going in ready. Instead of touching down on the ground she'll activate her semblance one more time, shooting forward in an attempt to land on a table or couch. She wasn't sure what room she was going into.]

[Congrats Ruby. That couch she just landed on makes an ominous ticking sound the second her feet touch it. Something goes pyoing inside, catapulting her across the room- just as an ice bomb it dropped from one of the many tubes running through the building, leaving the floor a sheet of ice.

Why would anyone booby trap a couch? That's a good question, maybe you can ask Varian later. You know. After you deal with the ice.

This is fun, right? This is how you have fun.]

[Anyone else might else might be terrified by the length that he has gone to. Ruby fortunately(??????) is not one of those people. Not only were her and Yang absolute terrors growing up, they went to a school where being catapulted from great heights into danger was basically the norm. This was like a fun training exercise for her.

Her feet touch down and she hears the ticking start, she tries to adjust herself to get off but she's fighting against her own momentum that brought her there. As such she's a little slow to get off and is sent flying across the room again. She let's out manic cackle and directs herself to land on her feet. The problem is now that the floor is coated in ice and her boots don't have the best traction in the world. But that's why she has a giant scythe, she pulls out Crescent Rose and manages to drive it into the floor. This buys her a chance to stop and steady herself. Her silver eyes dart around looking for any other traps that might have been triggered along the way.]

Come on, is that all you've got?

[It is absolutely not all that he has. Not even slightly. This is the guy who brought a Kingdom to its knees once upon a time. Of course, that once upon a time he had a few months of prep work and was also on a murder rampage- neither of which are true any more. Still, he's not going to give up without a fight.

There's a creepy sound coming from one of the rooms in the house. It's getting closer and closer to the living room- what can it be? Thankfully, it's not a full-scale automaton (he doesn't really want to build his murder robots any more) but it IS a creepy-ass spider robot about the size of a small dog. It stops short of the ice, as a hatch opens up on its back, firing an alchemical bomb towards her. It's a stick bomb at least- so, you know, not lethal. ]

[It's the hero in her that has to throw in a taunt when things look like their going her way. She absolutely knows Varian would have more up his sleeves because she's seen the guy work and heard about what he's made at home. She's excited to put her skills to the test against his.

Her smiles only fades briefly because that is some creepy nightmare music coming out of the weird spider robot. Her eyes narrow as the hatch opens up and she makes an awkward jump in the air to try and get it before it can attack. She couldn't build up a run so she points the barrel of Crescent Rose behind her and fires off a shot to push her toward her spider. She didn't get enough air to completely avoid the sticky bomb and she feels the cling and trap her boots together.

Still she sails through the air and adjusts her scythe and stab the pointy end right into the spider. Hopefully she didn't completely destroy it so Varian can still fix it.

Still moving around was going to be awkward with her legs trapped like this. She tried to glance around and see if any of that formula was just laying around to get rid of that before she carried on.]

[He appreciates it. In his villain days, he was full ham and the other just didn't appreciate it at all. Probably because he was trying to kill them, but still. It doesn't hurt to have a little effort.

Cresent Rose's scythe clunks into the spider, creating a fairly sizeable hole in it. The music dies off slowly and tinnily, somehow making it creepier than normal. A little spindly spider leg waves at her as the poor spider dies a death. Avenge it. (It's fine, Varian can totally fix it).

There is, indeed, a little vial of white liquid. She might just be able to reach it if she tried to hook it with Crescent Rose. Weird how it's just the right distance away, isn't it? It's almost pre-mediated. ]

[She kind of wishes she could go back to the days of fighting over the top mobsters. They at least had some colorful speeches and were less deadly then literally everything else she had to deal with. Oh to be back in simpler times.

She gives the spider a sad little frown as it gives it's little wave. It had a cool look to it and she hopes to see it up and running again one day.

her eyes fix on the vial and jeez it's awfully convenient that it's just in reach of her scythe like that. She's can either hop to it or hook it with her scythe. She's smart enough to know that Varian probably has something up his sleeve but she also doesn't know exactly what that might be. And she's probably going to need her legs to get further into the lab.

So she risks it and tries to hook it with Crescent Rose and shove the vial toward her. Once she gets the vial in the scythes touch she'll let herself fall back onto the floor. Just in case he's going to have anything come flying out at her.]

[Varian had some Grade A Villanous monologues. A little less so these days, he tries not to indulge too much. Turns out his kind-of-asshole tendencies only get worse when he's villain monologuing.

It was smart of her, to fall back. There's a fft-oing of a spring as an alchemy ball launches across the room, hitting the opposite wall and smashing. Unfortunately for Ruby, it's a smoke bomb, so the room swiftly starts to fill with pretty magenta smoke.

There's a noise from the kitchen that sounds like (and, if she investigates turns out is) a portly raccoon pulling himself through the catflap to try and rummage around for food. Is he part of the trap? No. He wants no part in this madness. ]

Edited 2020-04-20 20:16 (UTC)

[Ruby popped the vial over and pour the solution over the sticky goop on her legs. Making use of what little time she had before everything was enveloped in smoke. She wasn't sure whether losing sight in return for regaining full mobility was a win or a loss here. She kind of needed both to be effective and that meant either way Varian had the advantage right now.

She recognizes the sound of Ruddiger trying to get in. She had been here enough times to know what that sounded like so she chooses to just leave him be for the moment. She will start to blindly fumble her way through the house to try and find her way to wherever Varian is hiding.

She's got the pointed bottom of Crescent Rose's in front of her, using it as a lead to poke around for any door or something she might bump into. The blade and gun barrel at her back.

She chooses to refrain from any smart comments until she stumbles into something else.]

[Ruddiger watches her with the disinterested look of someone who was expecting this insanity and just wants it to stop so he can have a nap. The rest of the house (despite the magenta smoke now floating around) seems relatively safe.

There's the excited bark of a captured corgi coming from the depths of Varian's basement. Honestly, he's just getting all the treats and belly rubs so he's the least tortured prisoner ever. But in the narrative, he's clearly being tortured.

The stairs leading down to the basement, however, are for sure rigged with bubble bombs. Because obviously an enclosed basement is the best place to rig an unbreakable bubble prison, obviously. ]

[She's sorry, Ruddiger. They don't know how to function properly in the outside world so they have to play their potentially deadly games inside for everyone else's safety.

She hears the bark and her eyes go wide. She does her best to sound concerned and reassuring but hearing her pup in good spirits always warmed her heart a little.]

Just hold on, Zwei! I'mma coming.

[She arrives at the stairs and the smoke makes it hard to see just where any traps might be set up. She doesn't doubt that there are traps though. She doesn't really have any other options so she makes a leap down the stairs and gives Crescent Rose another shot to propel her right down. She throws her feet in front of her in preparation for a rough landing.

Because jumping right into the middle of all this is clearly the best idea, right?]

[At least they're being responsible and keeping it inside, wow.

There are plenty of bubble bombs, all of which drop down, exploding on the stairs and leaving a trail of bubbles in their wake. At least she missed those, as they float on upwards and cluster on the ceiling- it's gonna take forever to get them down.

Now, some people might think a trapdoor might be an excessive boobytrap to have in their house, but Varian isn't most people. There's a clunk under Ruby's feet as the floor gives way and... yeah he legit just dug further under his house to make a trapdoor because that's the industrious person he is.

At least this one doesn't lead to a creepy catacomb filled with a horrific Apathy. It does have more sticky trap in there though, so she might want to avoid that. There's a tiny, sticky-free ledge, for her to escape to if she wants. Because Varian's a good sport.

Varian himself is chilling on the other side of the basement. Honestly, he could have pulled a good villain look off if he wasn't busy petting Zwei and telling him he was the best boy. That kind of scuppers the old image of the kid who drove fear in the hearts of Corona. When he realises Ruby is you know, in the room, he does at least attempt to salvage some dignity again. He moves to sit down, Zwei hopping onto his lap so he can pet the corgi like the worst bond villain ever. ]

We meet again, Ruby Rose.

[...Except it probably has more to do with not letting the authority get in the way of the reindeer games.

She doesn't have any time to celebrate avoiding the bubbles because the ground quite literally falls out from under her feet. She's really thankful there are no Apathy waiting down there because that is something she never wants to see again in her life. No thank you.

She manages to hook Crescent Rose on the outside of the trap and plant her feet on the led to avoid landing in the sticky trap. The ends of her cloak aren't as lucky and she feels a tug as she tries to pull herself up. She sighs and pulls it over her head and let's it fall gently into more goo. Another victim to Varian's heinous crimes that she would have to avenge.

She pulls herself up out of the trap and just stands there grinning like a dork as Varian gives Zwei the love he deserves. Once the scene is set back up she'll narrow her eyes into a glare and point a finger his way.]

For the last time, or at least until the next for the last time, Varian.

[She takes a step forward for dramatic effect.]

This doesn't have to end in anyone getting hurt. Release my precious pup and you can still walk out of this.

[That too.

Okay, he's actually a little sad about the cloak. He likes the cloak. Still, sacrifices have to be made in the path of darkness and that's just one of them that's fallen this day. Farewell, adorable cloak. ]

Oh-ho! Brave words from someone not holding the prisoner.

[Zwei barks happily. Clearly, he is suffering greatly here. ]

I believe I still have the upper hand!

[He can never be forgiven for it's sacrifice. Or... They can probably fish it out from the trap door after. He's just going to need more goo and it's probably going to need a wash.

He does have a point and despite all her heroic posturing she knew it was true. It's why she hadn't made a direct move on him.]

I'd never stoop to such a level. You can ask Ruddiger, he's upstairs chewing on apple cores.

[He adjusts her grip on Crescent Rose taking a slight step forward.]

It doesn't matter what you throw at me, I'll pull through.

But what's it going to take for you to stop this madness?

[His trechery can be washed on a warm cycle with a tide pod. He fake-gasps, turning his gaze upwards. ]

Ruddiger! My greatest henchman, I'm betrayed.

[Ruddiger doesn't give a frosty shit. He's staying upstairs, ignoring all this.

Also, shit. He didn't think of any terms because he'd honestly just been having a good time setting off all his booby traps on her. ]

Uhh.

[Give him a second, he's thinking.]

I- definately have terms which I for sure had prepared in advance.

He saw the light to your wicked ways. He's... Not exactly on the side of justice but he's wandering down a dark path anymore.

[She snorts. Then smiles. It was pretty clear he didn't have any terms set up. She'll prop up Crescent Rose and just leans against it for now.]

Do you need me to give you a minute? Are they written down somewhere? I can grab them if you need me to.

[She glances around looking to try and see if she can make out any final traps between her and Varian.]

Edited 2020-04-23 21:28 (UTC)

I knew he'd turn his back on me one day. You just can't get the minions these days.

[Okay this is embarrassing. He raises a finger into the air.]

NO! No- I've- I've got it. Good terms, too. Really dastardly ones.

[There aren't any final traps. Because he's not about to fire any right at her face. ]

I demand a great sacrifice for you! [yeah he is absolutely winging it] Um. [Shit. Why doesn't he ever think anything through?] A... plate of your favourite cookies?

[Wow. Fucking flawless.]

They're super fickle, I know.

[Just leans a bit heavier against the scythe. She looks down at the clock on her fluid and just smiles.]

Okay. okay. I believe you.

[She doesn't believe him but it's freakin' adorable.

She's got a semblance, she wouldn't be afraid. But they're actually down in his lab now and things are more volatile there and it makes sense.

Oh wait- they're starting again.

She stares a little deadpan at the sacrifice she definitely didn't bring any cookies with her because they're winging it at this point.]

Really? Like right now? Because I didn't bring any wi-

[She stops herself because that's breaking character. Instead she steps back, clearly aghast at this steep offering he was demanding.]

-I mean-You fiend! Where am I supposed to get such delicious treats on such short notice?

Not to mention the personal cost! It cuts deep, villain

Edited 2020-04-23 23:54 (UTC)

[In hindsight he could have asked for something a lot more nefarious but he said the first thing that came to his mouth that he knew was precious to her and he's not backing down now. In for a penny, in for a pound.

This is ridiculous and he knows it, but that's the best part. He gives a shrug, slipping back into an act that once upon a time genuinely wasn't one, patting Zwei idly.]

That's for you to be concerned about. Until then, the dog is mine.

[Ruby just stares for a moment before slowly falling down to her knees. She couldn't believe she had come so far only to have such a dilemma brought before her. Had all her efforts been for naught? Would her precious pup be stuck with Varian forever or would she lose a freshly baked batch of chocolate chip cookies.

How could someone make her choose between two of the greatest loves in her life.]

You're a monster, Varian. A monster.

Fine... You'll get your cookies.

Just don't be too rough on Zwei while I'm gone.

[Wow, Ruby, so dramatic. He stifles a snort of laughter.]

An acurate estimation, Ruby.

[He sits back, giving an idle, dismissive wave of his hand.]

I make no promises. My mercy only lasts so long, I'll have you know.

[They haven't played board games yet. Super serious business.]

You'll get what you're after, Varian. Then you'll get what you deserve.

[Which will probably be a round of applause for his job at this, because wow. She hasn't had this much fun in awhile.]

Then I guess I don't have a moment to lose.

[She rises back up to her feet and turns around. She doesn't start to move and instead turns to look back and give Zwei one more thoughtful look.

Then it's her turn to improvise. She could go and just get some cookies and come back but that means game over for now and that's no fun.

She turns her attention back to Varian.]

I assume you'll be accompanying me personally. Or at least sending your trusted minion. Y'know. So I don't get up to any funny business while I'm gone?

[He will genuinely look forward to that glorious day.]

Brave words! I think you might be getting a little ahead of yourself.

[Him too, honestly. It's probably the most fun he's had since... well, a good long while. He considers her question, before heaving out a sigh, standing. Zwei hops off and happily trots along.]

Yeah, he's not being trusted to do anything ever again. [You had ONE JOB, Ruddiger. ] So, I guess I'll accompany you. To make sure it's all done right and you don't stab me in the back.

[It's on the to-do list. They should definitely have a Dungeons and Dragons night.]

The day isn't through yet.

[Just two dorks having a good time. It's a great day.]

It's so hard to find good help these days.

[She raises her hands in mock surrender. Definitely not doing any backstabbing here. That's not the heroic way after all.]

Smart move, Diabolical Mastermind. But don't you worry, I wouldn't dream of betraying you while you have your hostage. It would be foolish to try to something so rash and heroic.

[He would LOVE Dungeons and Dragons. So much.]

I really need to fire him, but he'll just keep coming back anyway.

[He's joking, he'd never fire Ruddiger, he's the best trash panda. He lets out a smug little hum.]

It really would be deeply foolish. After all, I still clearly have the upper hand. You wouldn't want anything... unfortunate to happen to your precious pup after all.

[Unfortunate like an ear scritch!! ]

[Add that to the to-do list for these dorks.]

You've gotta admire that dedication at least.

[He's a good trash panda.

She just gives him a look filled with dread at that hum.]

Of course, perish the thought. I'd wouldn't know what to do if something happened to him!

[That is until Varian falls into step with her and she suddenly moves to try and get him in a headlock. He's going to get such a hair ruffling. All while she just cackles and laughs over how fun this whole set up was.]

Oh yeah, he never gives up I'll give him that. Probably because he knows where all the food is.

[And also love. That too. Varian was not expecting the sneak attack and frankly Ruby is vasty a better combatant than his skinny short ass. He lets out a muffled "braglwa!" as suddenly he is noogied into defeat.

So cruel. To be defeated so young. So tragic.

Still, he does let out a proper laugh at this- probably more so than he has for a good long while, trying to fight her off with infective arm-flailing. ]

Okay, okay! Uncle uncle!! You win!

[Look. Ruby's spent years being on the other end of a noogie attack thanks to growing up with a very affectionate older sister. So she's learned the ins and outs of how treat this situations. As such once he starts to say uncle, she joins in on the laughing and digs in a little harder.]

Ahaha, I did it~!

[She doesn't let it overstay it's welcome and eventually let's go and instead takes hold of him by the shoulders. He gets an excited shake.]

Oh my gosh, Varian! That was amazing, Those traps were so cool! You really outdid yourself on this!

Edited 2020-04-27 23:37 (UTC)

[He'll allow the extra death-by-noogie with a soft snort-laugh. When he's released, he grins, giving a flourishing bow. ]

A-thank-you. I do my best. How'd you find the spider? Were there any weak spots I should work on?

[He's stupidly proud of his creepy ass spider ok.]

You're basically the perfect test subject for this, 'cause you're one heck of a fighter! You're incredible! [Uh. His brain catches up with his mouth and he clears his throat awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.] A-at fighting. Incredible at fighting.

[Her eyes light up when he mentions the spider.]

Why did you not mention you had a cool spider bot before? That thing was awesome! The only thing I can really say about that is if it's meant for ambushing you might want to lose the music box tune. It's creepy and cool but it kind of gives away it's location. If it were already set up and ready to ambush it might have got me then and there. The fact it had to move with the music playing didn't really help it.

What's your goal for the spider? We can probably brainstorm some ideas from there.

[It's okay. She loved the spider too. She wants it to succeed in it's next life.]

Perfect test subject? More like the best training field I could ask for. I haven't had a work out like that in awhile. I mean actual threats to my life aside. This was great!

[Watch as the point once again floats over her head as he fumbles with his words.]

Well, yeah? I'm a Huntress, what else would I be incredible at?

Edited 2020-04-28 19:51 (UTC)

It's pretty new. I'm still working out the kinks. And the music box is how it's programmed to move. It's how I got the automatons to move when- well, y'know. [MOVING ON.] I could always update them, I guess, make them more stealthy. I'll be honest though, the creepy factor is dear to my heart.

[Because he's weird. He's so weird.]

At the moment, it's just something that can move around where my other booby traps can't. Makes for a better means of protecting the place.

[He's so relieved, he's going to pretend that awkward moment never happened. There it goes, being swept under the rug.]

Well, I can do more of that at least! It's no Grimm attack, but at least I can help keeping you fighting fit for when the actual death-bringing monsters show up. [He lets out an awkward chuckle.] Y-yeah. That's fair. You're perfect for the job. Of fighting. Yup.

[She listens to his explanation and definitely understands the reasoning. She had to admit it was pretty cool that he programmed that thing through a music box. She can even get behind liking the creepy tune. She loved a good old dramatic battle and sometimes just having the right tune was needed to set the mood. Gosh, she needed to get him out to see some more movies.]

Well it's a cool gizmo. Not quite as advanced as what we have back where I'm from but I think with some fine tuning it could be more effective.

[Because Paladins are like the least effective robots ever.

YEAH MOVING ON. They have gizmos to talk about.]

There is a place for creepy music. So I'm not going to say get rid of it of it. But a walking booby trap is going to raise attention to itself if it's playing music. What you might need to do is pump some more music in through a few speakers set up. That might mess with your opponent and give the spider a chance to move a bit more freely.

[Congrats Varian. That's like being proud of waving a sign in front of a blind person and not getting caught.]

Hey. I appreciate it. Any training that isn't trial by fire is good in my books. We might need to find a bigger venue for next time.

I am kind of a pro at it.

Well, I was working in a world without electricity yet. You gotta use what you can.

[God, if he could bring even a fraction of the tech here in Deerington back home, he could do all sorts of things for the people. He could revolutionalise their lives. In a GOOD way.

Still, this is good, this is a good idea, he rubs his chin in thought.]

Yeah, yeah, I can work with that! It could really disorientate someone, they might not know where the sound is coming from and then suddenly- bam! Robot spider.

[Helping the morally questionable alchemist make his home dealy sure is a way to spend an afternoon, Ruby. And he'll take it, thank you.]

Yeaaaah, I don't think my house can stand another round. Maybe there's a deserted building outside of town we can use?

Well you definitely used a method I never would have thought of.

[She folds her arms and gives a smile. Glad he appreciates her idea.]

Creepy music and ambush spider all in one. Everyone wins. Except for the person who ends up goo'ed.

[Come on. He's a fun morally questionable alchemist. This will provide her with an even better challenge the next time she storms the fortress. Besides, She's stolen an military airship back in her own world. While she was doing it for the right reasons, it was still pretty darn illegal and dangerous.

Best birthday ever?]

I'll uh... Help you patch up some of the bullet holes I made.

And yeah, It wont last if we keep upping the ante. I'll see if I can find something. Having a bit more room to move around would be nice too.

Thaaaat's me, thinking outside the box.

[Varian thinks so far outside the box, the box tends to be in a while other Kingdom. ]

Well, that would be their fault for breaking into my home.

[Or. You know. Just visiting. But anyone who knows him understands the gauntlet they run in dropping in on him anyway.

This is definitely the best birthday ever. He grins a lopsided grin. ]

Aww, that's okay. They add to the aesthetic! [He sweeps a hand through the air dramatically. ] "Ruby Rose was here!".

Sure! Sounds like a plan.

It is pretty creative home security system. I've got to give you points for that.

[She returns that grin with one of her own.]

Well if you like them they can stay. I'll try not to add anymore though. There's a fine line between leaving my mark and turning your place into swiss cheese.

Thanks. I figure in this place, it can't hurt to be safe.

[After the whole burning alive incident he doesn't trust the Townspeople at all.]

Yeaaaaaaaah, I still want a home to come back to, so I think we've hit the maximum amount of bullet holes already.

It's why I sleep with a giant scythe.

[Yeah. The towns people are total jerks. Let's never get tossed in a burning building again.]

That's completely fair and reasonable. Who would have thought I'd use up my quota in one day?

A perfectly reasonable course of action, right there.

[Also she Neo who's actively trying to kill her.]

I wouldn't! But I guess that's goes to show me for not having enough faith in your ability to shoot up my house.

[Birthdays are important things, even birthdays that have to be celebrated in the worst town ever. Fern takes these things very seriously, so while he's still unsure about his own he's still intent on making sure Varian's goes well. Or at least not terrible. He's pretty sure he can manage not terrible.

He can't really organize a big party or anything, but there are other things he can do. That's why he's knocking on the door of Varian's house on the morning of the 18th, careful to try and avoid setting off any booby traps. He has an umbrella for once, to keep the bag in his other hand from getting rained on.]

[It's absolutely wise of Fern to avoid the booby traps. Just because it's his birthday doesn't mean his home is any less prepared for some kind of siege. Still, he'll answer the door, disabling traps as he goes, smiling when he sees who's there.]

Hey Fern! How're things?

[Everything's normal- nothing different happening here. ]

[He's been through enough dungeons to be pretty good at recognizing them, at least.]

Eh. [He shrugs, then holds out the bag. There's a lot in there.] Happy birthday, I wanted to drop off your gift.

[Look at him, keeping his word about trying to make Varian's birthday better than his last one.]

[He's surprised and touched, and it shows in his face. He'd honestly forgotten their conversation, pushed it to one side. And now here's Fern, coming through for him. ]

...Oh. Wow, thanks.

[He's still not used to this birthday gig. The last one was awful and before that he only ever really had his dad who isn't... exactly the best at affectionate gestures. He takes the bag carefully... wow legit not-dad presents. ]

Uh, you wanna come in? I disabled the traps.

[Fern, meanwhile, has years of overly elaborate Finn birthday celebrations to pull from. Even after his parents died Jake always made sure to go all out with them, so he's got this. He knows how to celebrate a birthday without it being a trashfire.]

Sure.

[He'll follow Varian in!]

How many of those have you got so far?

[Because traps in your home sounds cool to him, tell him more please.

By the by, inside the large box is an elaborate cake. With the cake is a card. Inside is written:

"I tried to make a birthday cake for you instead of buying one but all the good jokes argon!! Happy birthday anyways!!

-Fern

P.S. I know what it's like not being able to celebrate your birthday, and it sucks. You're cool and probably the smartest person I know here and don't deserve that. You deserve a happy birthday with your dad and your friends and your home. I can't give you any of that but I hope you can still enjoy the cake and gift.

P.P.S. probably share the cake with Ruddiger, it's a lot of sugar."

Along with the larger box is a smaller one, carefully wrapped in what Fern thought was appropriate wrapping paper. Inside this second box is a knife.

There's also an apple for Ruddiger, so he isn't left out.]

[Fern you are his saviour in all birthday related things. He appreciates you and your low-key offerings so very much. ]

Oh wow, about fifteen or so. This neighbourhood gets a lot of break-ins, figured I'd play it safe.

[Normal people would get better locks for their doors, but you do you, Varian. He'll head into his kitchen which is still half lab- but there is an empty table that doesn't have a pile of experiments on it, so he'll put the bag, and the resulting presents he pulls from it onto that. This is pretty exciting for him, getting gifts like this. Every single thing is pulled out of the bag with great care, studied and then placed carefully on the table. Except for the apple, which Ruddiger immediately grabs. But hey, he's gonna go sit on Fern's shoulder to eat it- that's kind of like a thanks, right? ]

Wow, Fern. These are... great. Like... genuinely. [His dad usually got him a book and that was as far as it went. He rubs the back of his neck, a little awkwardly. He's still accepting the fact he's good enough to be allowed nice things again. ] Thanks. I really appreciate it.

[Fern lets out an impressed whistle at that number. Yes, he is in fact impressed by a home having over a dozen booby traps.]

Geez, my place only has a basic lock on the door.

[Not even locks on the window, what is he doing with his life.

He follows Varian into the kitchen, reminded of Bubblegum's lab back home. It doesn't occur to him that this might not be the best use of a kitchen, not having used one himself for well over a year. He just leans against a counter, hoping the gifts are okay.

Ruddiger gets some absent headscratches because he's a good raccoon.]

Cool. If any of it turns out to be dumb or - whatever, I don't know, just get rid of it. [He won't be offended.] The knife's good quality, but I don't know about the cake.

[Since he hasn't been able to actually eat around here, it's not like he's been able to test the food at the bakery.]

Well, if you ever want me to install some non-flammable booby traps in your Treehouse, I can absolutely do that for you.

[Friends don't let friends live without a good household security system! Ruddiger accepts the headscratches, attention AND food? Fern is winning out on Best Person currently. ]

Hey, no, none of this is dumb at all. I love it. [He offers a smile, putting a hand on Fern's shoulder. He's not the best at people-ing, but damnit if he's not going to try.] The cake's perfect. I've never seen one like that before.

[That sounds so cool. So cool.]

The answer to that is always going to be 'yes'.

[Seriously, booby traps in his treehouse is the best idea.

And hey, awesome. Good to know he's still got Finn's birthday skills.]

Uh, yeah. I had no clue they could do gravity-defying stuff on cake. It almost makes science look cool.

[He's joking, his joking.]

Somehow, I thought that might be your answer. And cool, I'll come take a look and see what I can do for you.

[He absolutely has Finn's birthday skills. He gets a pointed look, there's a smirk lingering underneath it all, though. He gets you're joking mister.]

Who knew it would take gravity-defying baked goods to get you interested in science. I should have used that trick ages ago.

Awesome!

[He snorts.]

And I can't even eat the stuff. Pretty sure if Bonnibel had been a baker - and not the creating-sentient-life-from-baked-goods kinda baker - on top of being a scientist I would've gotten into it years ago.

[Look at him, actually joking about not being able to eat.]

That's a shame. I wonder if I divide a way for you to enjoy it anyway. Like. I know you can put plant food in the soil, maybe I could find a way for you to 'taste' cake?

[Truly this is the greatest birthday gift of all- a chance to SCIENCE!!!]

[That has Fern suddenly looking very awkward.]

Uh, I can still taste food. I just can't eat it.

[His body is one big scientific anomaly, sorry Varian.]

[Varian tilts his head, real slowly.]

I'm confused. You can taste food but you can't eat it? I mean, I know you probably don't have a digestive system or anything, but... what?

[How do you even work, Fern?]

I mean, I've got a tongue.

[So clearly that means he should be able to taste things, right? And because he's an idiot teenage boy who doesn't think this is inappropriate or anything - Varian's a scientist, it's totally fine - he opens his mouth and points.]

But my mouth doesn't go anywhere.

[Since his mouth is open that's probably coming out more like "my mou' 'oesn' 'o anywheh." At any rate he's right, he doesn't have a throat.]

[Well. That's sure a thing. Varian peers in because of course, he does, this is about science and not anything weird! ]

...Huh. That's... different. So you have taste receptors... and presumably a sense of smell to go with it, but no digestive system?

[At least he'll... close his mouth after another few moments.]

Pretty much. I've got no guts whatsoever.

[He got to learn that factoid thanks to his fight with Finn.]

Not the literal kind, anyway. The metaphorical kind? I think you've got plenty.

[Fern is way more of a badass than he is himself, Varian's pretty sure on that one. ]

Uh - [Wow, okay, compliment out of nowhere. Fern perks up, though he's also a little embarrassed.]

Hey, you do too. You've gotta be the toughest alchemist I've ever met.

[He may also be the only alchemist he's ever met.]

[Sorry, Fern, you're just going to have to get used to those. ]

I'll take that as a compliment even if I'm pretty sure I'm the only alchemist you've ever met.

[Excellent job at returning that compliment, Fern. Excellent job.]

I mean - there's a chance I did meet an alchemist back home, and I just never knew. Not like I went around asking people their life stories, y'know?

[He is just. Going to get progressively more awkward here.]

[Good attempt, buddy, you get a You Tried star.]

Well, honestly, I haven't met any others either so-

[Even in his time, they're a dying breed. Scientists move onto different things, call themselves different names. ]

Still. Thanks,

[He will take that gold star.]

Hey, no problem. [Is a friendly punch to Varian's shoulder appropriate? Fern is going with that.] If any alchemists show up here, they'll have to defeat you for the title.

[Look a friendLy shoulder punch is the epitome of friendship, thanks bud, he'll treasure it always. He lets out a soft 'heh'.]

I think I can take them.

Edited 2020-04-24 23:30 (UTC)

Of course you can! These hypothetical but extremely tough alchemists wouldn't stand a chance.

[And if they did he'd punch them in the face.]

Awww thanks, Bud. Your faith in me is like a big hug.

[For once he's not being sarcastic when he says that.]

[Pffft, Fern just snorts.]

Okay, now you're just getting into cheesy territory.

I could probably get cheesier, I can sing you a song if you want?

[Why does he voice that like a challenge. ]

Pass. Gotta pass. Besides, it's your birthday, not mine. Pretty sure I should be the one offering to sing you a song.

[There's a beat and he quickly adds:]

Not that I'm gonna! I don't do that anymore.

[He lets out a soft snort of amusement.]

Right, right, of course you don't. I mean, you're missing out, but that's your prerogative.

Of course you'd think that, you've got a great voice.

[You will not drag him into your Disney ways, Varian.]

Awww, come on, I bet your voice just as good.

[He's gonna drag you kicking and screaming. ]

Not even close, dude. Not even close.

[There will be much kicking and screaming. So much.]

Well, until I hear it, I won't know for sure, will I?

[A trap has been laid today. ]

[Fern squints at Varian. He knows what you're trying to do, bro.]

... I guess not, even though you could always just trust me on this.

[Watchu gonna do about it? :)]

I could, or I could just wait and hear it for myself.

[This is the biggest eyeroll ever. Be in awe.]

... Maybe. Maybe one day.

[When he isn't being completely self-deprecating. Maybe.]

[Whatever, plant bitch, he's calling this a sweet, sweet victory.]

I'm gonna hold you to that, Bud.

VARIAN-KUUUUNNN!!!!

A little ruby red birdy told me it's your birthday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, VARIAN!

Are you busy? I wanna come by and drop off your gift!

[There's a panicked SCREAM as Varian ducks away from the screen. Things he did not expect to deal with today: this. Slowly, he peers up from his counter to pick up the dropped Fluid.

RUBY.]

Of course she did. Uh... thanks. I... wasn't really expecting anything? Um- sure? I- I think?

Oh! Oops! Sorry! Hope I didn't scare you there!

Well, then perfect, you'll have no idea what I got you! Do you wanna come to my house or shall I come to yours? [She will, very very likely get lost and be late but hey whatever, she'll get there.]

No no, it's fine. I was just surprised is all.

That's okay, I can come to yours. My house is a little-

[He and Ruby kinda trashed it in their 'battle']

I definitely need to clean up.

Should I make you a mean hot chocolate too? I don't know what your favorite foods are yet but I do know you like that!

And you know where I am, 8765 Starling Lane, the pink one.

I'll see you then.

...Sure, why not. And I don't know. I like sandwiches?

[Because he likes food that's easy to eat while he works. Efficiency over taste. He huffs out a laugh.]

Yeah, Usagi, I remember the excessively pink house. I'll be there soon.

[He's on his way. And before long, there's a knock on her door. Varian's also brought along Ruddiger, who's perched on his shoulder, peering at everything- mostly looking for food and/or trash. He has his own priorities. ]

[When she heard that, she laughed.]

Remind me to tell you about my friend Ami-chan and how you're exactly like her.

See you soon birthday boy.

Well, that's a rarity. I'm usually nothing like most people.

[Cassandra called him 'unique' once and though she meant it as a compliment, she...definitely wasn't wrong.]

Be there before you know it.

Mnn, oh neither is she, for that matter.

I'll get the hot chocolate started.

Hooray for outcasts I guess?

[And hey, soon there'll be a knock at the door. He's also brought his trash panda along, so she can meet the unholy terror that is Ruddiger. The raccoon in question is perched on Varian's shoulders, eyeing the neighbourhood. Probably making note of all the trashcans. ]

[The door opens and:]

VARIAN-KUUUUUN!

[Massive hug, giant, massive, warm hug. Usagi is actually very good at them though.]

[OH HOLY SHIT INCOMING HUGS.

Ruddiger, rather wisely and used to this sort of insanity, makes a leap to the floor. He doesn't want to be involved in any of this hugging. Varian's on his own on this one.

Varian himself kinda flails for a moment. Will he ever get used to sudden hugs? Probably not. ]

[And then he lets out an awkward chuckle and returns the hug. A little less... enthusiastically, but it's there.]

Um. Hi, Usagi.

[The difference here is Usagi is shorter than Varian... And yet, still manages to have such a big personality. She grabbed Varian's hand and pulled him inside.]

Come in come in, you too cutie! You must be Ruddiger, huh? Well, we can get you a snack too. So how old are you turning? I never actually found out.

[It's rare he's taller than anyone who isn't eight, he's going to enjoy it while he can okay. He manages a soft 'urp' as he's dragged along inside. Ruddiger trots along behind him, keeping decidedly out of reach of them there grabby hands.]

If you feed him, you'll never get rid of him. And sixteen.

Ah, you're a year younger than me! And that just means you'll have to come over more often to get him. [She bopped Varian on the nose before leading him into the kitchen, on the kitchen island was a wide-wrapped gift, the chemistry set hidden inside.]

And don't think I won't call you at 1 AM in the morning to come get him, Varian.

Oh, I see how it is. You're going to kidnap my raccoon in order to get me to come around more. Sneaky.

[He's joking, in that wry snarky way of his. He opens up his gift and while some might find a kiddies chemistry set insulting when they're a professional, Varian's never seen one before and frankly, it's ALL more supplies.]

Are these things that exist in the future? Man, kids in the future are super lucky. I had to get all my stuff the hard way. Thanks. I... really like this.

[Then, with a soft snort.] You say that like I won't be awake at 1 AM anyway.

Sneakiest of sneaky. And then you'll like it here so much you'll just come on your own. [She winked.]

I'm so glad you like it! I was super lost on one kit from another and basically asked what was the best chemistry set they had and the guy showed me this. So I'm really glad you like it.

I think a couple of these chemicals aren't allowed to be given to people anymore cause they're pretty dangerous, so... kinda figures they don't care about us having it, I guess?

Just um, well, you'll be careful, I know you will.

That's a dastardly plan right there. I'm shocked and horrified.

[He doesn't sound shocked and horrified, he sounds amused as all get out.]

To be honest most of why I create can be super toxic so that doesn't bother me at all. Oooooh, sodium ferrocyanide. [He appreciates this super dangerous gift so much.] Yeah, yeah, careful is my middle name.

[It is NOT.]

Clearly. [She grinned as she began making the both of them her hot chocolate.

She paused at the mention of toxic and bopped him on the nose.]

Oi, I'm serious. I can't... [She can't help him here if he gets hurt.] I don't want anything to happen to my friends. So please, Varian. I wanna support your interest but not at a risk to you.

[At the nose bop, he lets out a noise like a disgruntled kitten. Rude.]

I'm an expert, thank you. I work with way more dangerous compounds than this. I know what I'm doing.

[Mostly.]

Even experts need to be careful. But I don't doubt you in the slightest. I know Varian-kun is gonna change the world with all of his amazing inventions.

That's what I'm aiming for. Trying to do something good, you know?

[To leave the world better than what he did to it.]

I'm careful. I'm super careful.

Well, you have a good heart, Varian, so I'm not surprised you want to put good in the world.

[Wow, that sure is a LONG FUCKING SILENCE before he responds back. He stares down at his hands, his smile fading. He wants to tell her she's wrong, that he doesn't have a good heart and it's not complete altruism that drives him to do good. That it's as much as making things better after he made such a mess than anything else.]

Just... trying to do my part.

Edited 2020-04-28 19:35 (UTC)

Well, birthday boy, enough about how awesome you are! Have you had any birthday cake yet?

I... in fact have not had any birthday cake. It would seem pretty sad to bake my own. I don't think I'm ready to be that pathetic yet.

Well we TOTALLY gotta fix that! What's your favorite flavor? And I can't bake it for you, but we can go out and get you one!

[This is so goddamn nice. Usagi is so damn nice.]

Uh. I guess I like lemon? Thanks this is pretty... good of you.

Then a lemon cake it is! Come on, I found a pretty decent, not creepy bakery!... at least not creepy today! But we can totally get you one! Everyone deserves some birthday cake on their birthday!

A pretty decent, not creepy bakery? In the Horror Town? Colour me impressed.

[He's joking. Or is he.]

I mean, it's probably creepy but like, right now it's not creepy.

So it's currently not creepy but has the potential for creepiness in the future?

Well, according to everyone here, everything has the potential for creepiness, so I mean like, it's BOUND to happen eventually.

It's only a matter of time!

Yes, but right now, it's birthday boy needs a cake time! And it's not creepy YET!

[She grabs his hand and her purse.]

My treat, no, you can't argue! Let's go!

[Usagi had debated doing this in a text, Varian probably didn't want to talk to her but...]

Hey. [She's infinitely calmer, no teasing, no high energy, the energizer bunny that she is had one of her pulled out, taken away by her and no one else.]

I wanted to apologize.

[Ohm he doesn't like that tone much at all, no sir. Her ceaseless cheer might rankle him, but he doesn't want to see it gone.]

What? You mean for the whole... announcement thing? I mean, it's fine. I've dealt with worse?

[Haaa, well, that definitely put a nail in her heart.]

Yes the announcement thing, I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that, definitely not on your birthday. Not ever. Ruby asked me but I should have- [She sighs and stops.] I don't know, I'm sorry. I didn't know you well enough to know that you wouldn't like it, but I probably could have guessed.

Edited 2020-04-20 21:34 (UTC)

I mean it, I've genuinely had worse. It's not a big deal.

[Spoilers: being left to rot in the castle dungeons where no one will go near you because the guards treat you like a bomb that could go off at any moment is a pretty terrible way to spend a birthday. Okay, so Andrew was there, but Andrew categorically doesn't count as good birthday company. Or... any sort of company that doesn't end in murder. But that's something he's keeping to himself for one- maybe one day Usagi will friendship hard enough that he'll open up about his shady past, but today is not the day.
]

I mean... it's nice that people here care enough to do that for me? I've got friends back home who would but... yeah. I'm not exactly good at people. If you haven't noticed. So I guess it's comforting there's a few people here who don't seem to mind that.

Admittedly, me too.

And I do care, yes! And you don't have to be good at people, you just be you, Varian. The people who will like you for you will come and you can be good with them. Or they can be like me and force their friendship on you. [She knows herself well enough.]

But Varian, I hope you know you can come to me about... anything. I know I may not be first on your list for that, but I hope you know you can put me on it.

...Yeah, I guess.

[Except, aside from Ruby and Fern, no one here knows who he really is. They know who he's trying to be now. They don't know who he was, what he did. They have a fragment of a bigger picture. He chose this, he wanted to keep that part of his life in shade- to have a try at an actual normal life without everyone knowing him as the guy that tried to murder a bunch of people.

But when he gets close to people, he feels less comfortable with hiding the truth. It's duplicity and he's supposed to be giving up on that. And yet he clings to it. Fern and Ruby haven't ditched him, but Fern's a bigger mess than he is and Ruby's ceaselessly decent. He doesn't know that such luck will continue. That maybe, eventually, he'll open up to the wrong person and they'll turn their back on him. He realises he's been quiet for way too long. ]

Y-yeah. I know. Thanks, I'll bear that in mind. Appreciate it.

Alright, just-

[She wants to say something, he clearly had such a long pause for a reason. But she's pushed him enough today.]

Well, happy birthday, again. I hope it's a good one.

Edited 2020-04-22 22:18 (UTC)

[One day, he will sit down and tell Usagi his whole sad, sorry tale. Not today, though. For sure not today.]

...Thanks. It's been pretty okay thus far.

[Better than Prison Birthday, anyway.]

[And then she will hug him more.]

Well, next time, if we're both here, I'm gonna try for awesome. It's a promise.

[He needs so many damn hugs.]

Duly noted, I'll remember that.

[Don't fall back on your promise now, Usagi, he has i s s u e s when it comes to that.]

[Usagi actually gives GREAT hugs.]

So will I.

Thank you for forgiving me... ah... um, you do forgive me, right?

Uh, yeah? I mean- there's really nothing to forgive. It's fine. Don't worry about it.

Well, I'm glad then that I didn't mess up like I thought I did. Still, I'll know better for next time.

Nah, I'd say it measures pretty low on the mess-up scale. You're good.

Let's hope that's my biggest one for a long while.

This Deerington, the place where all the mess up's happen, so I wouldn't hold your breath on that one.

I'll try to keep my eyes open and chin up, then.

If anyone can manage that here, I'd put my money on you.

Always bet on the bunny.

[Let's just start this little talk out on the right foot.]

Hey buddy, how's it going?

[He's blissfully unaware. He's just happy he's getting a message from her. He's in his lab, studying some weird scroll. The text is a cryptic mess, but at least the pictures are pretty? He smiles and gives the screen a wave. She's a welcome distraction from this thing.]

I'm good. Working on.. a personal project. How about you?

[Oh she can relate to that. She might be in her basement with a handful of guns she's working on for Ashe and a certain staff that's working on.

Her magic lamp is just hanging from the ceiling in the background.]

I'm doing okay. Just been hanging around. Thought I'd call to check up on you.

[She takes a moment to glance him over as best she can over the Fluid. Neo was very vague about what had happened, so she just wanted to be sure he hadn't been hurt.

She didn't actually know how she wanted to approach this. So it was just going to be awkward as can be.]

You -uh... Been talking to anyone new these days?

[Heck yeah, basement buddies!]

Oh... well, thanks. I'm fine. Not dead or anything.

[He's used to it. Rapunzel checks up on him a lot, because apparently locking yourself away in the catacombs under the town for weeks at a time with only your raccoon for company is unhealthy or something.

He pauses in his examination of the scroll to cant his head.]

...I mean, a couple of people? Is- is this a new thing? Are you tallying the number of new people I speak to? Do I have a quota that I need to meet?

[Best place to be!]

Phew-Yeah. That's great. I'm glad.

[Oh jeez. This is awkward as heck. She didn't necessarily have any sort of team lead authority to just be checking up on him like this. So it felt weird doing this but she was worried about him at the same time.]

No, no. Nothing like that. I'm not trying to monitor your social life or anything.

[Wow. She is handling this like a pro.]

I just got a weird text earlier from someone who knows me.

They mentioned you and I was just a little worried.

Edited 2020-04-23 23:51 (UTC)

I mean, I could understand why you would, it's pretty awful.

[He'd bitch and whine about it, but he'd allow it.

And that's... a weird thing to say. His brow furrows, confused.]

You know a lot of people and I make a lot of people angry-and-or-upset enough to make you worry. You're gonna have to be a little more specific here, Rube.

Okay. Point taken. ...Do you want me to start monitoring your social life? We could set a quota that you need to meet?

[Huh. She hadn't exactly thought about it like that.]

That's another good point. More specific, okay. I can do that. Remember Neo? The person I said I didn't want you to run into if you could avoid it.

Did you run into her?

I'd probably consistently fail to meet it, so I'm not promising anything. Just saying I wouldn't be surprised if you tried that one on me is all.

[Oh shit, abort!! ABORT!!!

Panic crosses his face for a split second. He genuinely considers just ending the feed and hiding like a coward. God fucking damnit, Neo. Why did you narc on him??!]

Uh-

[Welp. He's been caught. No sense in running now. He clears his throat, rubbing the back of his neck.]

We may of had a conversation...yeah. On the catbus. You know. Enclosed space and all.

[Well... She's just going to drop the fun part of this conversation once she catches the panic on his face. She still didn't really know what happened but this was giving her a better idea.

They had a conversation. Okay. That wasn't so bad. Neo didn't do much talking though so she could guess who did most of the talking.

She totally did it to make Ruby's life difficult.]

On the Catbus? I mentioned she was stabby before, right?

Look. I don't know what happened and she was as vague about it. So I don't really know whether I should ask what you were thinking or not. But...

Just don't do anything really dumb. I'm trying to figure this out and I don't want anyone to get hurt before I do.

We've got kind of an agreement that this is just between the both of us right now. She's messed up but I think she'll stick to for now.

You mentioned.

[He kind of hoped he would be able to avoid this particular conversation for the rest of forever. Ruby had asked him to stay away and while he hadn't sought Neo out, he could have ignored her and not said a thing.

But he didn't, and he's not sorry for that. He doubts anything he had to say to Neo made much difference, but at least he can say he tried. He gave her a chance to back down before things got ugly- because he's very aware they will end up ugly. ]

We ran into each other, we talked. Well. I talked, she used the Fluid. Mostly about what she was doing.

[He's being purposefully vague because the horrible gut-wrenching truth is that he can see Neo's side too. Not against Ruby, oh no, never against her. But he's stood where Neo's stood. He's felt that all consuming rage. Where all you want is to lash out against the person you blame for your misery. Where you don't even care what the outcome is- if it kills you in the process. It was an eye-opener, seeing it from the other side. The reminder, the feeling of familiarity, doesn't sit well with him. ]

This is only going to end when either one of you is dead or she's incapacitated in another way. She's angry and she blames you for losing whoever the red-haired guy is. That sort of anger can't be reasoned with. She wants to destroy you, and she doesn't care how she achieves that or what happens to her afterwards. You might not be able to figure it out.

Alright. I wanted to be sure I had.

[She didn't want to be having this conversation anymore than he did. It wasn't that she was even made at him for approaching her. She just didn't want him to get himself killed. This was her mess that she had stumbled into and she had to find a way out of it.]

That's kind of her thing, yeah.

[Her heart sinks after hearing that. She doesn't want to admit he's right but she can't deny that he's not wrong either. Neo had made it fairly clear after two increasingly close attempts at her life where they stood.

She's quiet at first but then eventually speaks up.]

His name was Roman Torchwick, he was her boss. I don't really know what else they might have been.

[Yeah. Focusing on that for a bit gives her time to contemplate how to respond.]

But I have to try and do something. We're stuck here and it's not like there's a whole lot of here to put much distance between the two of us. If she comes at me I can defend myself, I can take that. I can't take her taking someone that stands between the two of us.

I'd rather her come after me than her go after Yang, or Penny, Or even Winter.

I'd rather her come after me than hurting you.

It's my fight. I played a part in starting it. I've got to see it through.

[He's quiet while she talks, his arms folded around his chest- uncharacteristically still. Well, he has a name to the face, but he doubts it matters. How or why the man died doesn't matter to Varian- all he knows is this Roman was the touchpaper to whatever Neo has going on now. The details vanish into the background in the end. Unimportant. It's just where everything starts. The place where the rot sets in. ]

She's too far gone to listen, you know. Whatever you have to offer her, she won't take it. You can give her every option to back down and I promise you she won't take it. I didn't. She wants you gone.

[And that hurts, a lot more than he really wants to acknowledge. It's scary to think about. Is this what the rest of their group felt like when he went on his rampage against Rapunzel? Did they feel this scared and helpless?

Karma's a bitch, he guesses. ]

So you're expecting me to stand back and stick my fingers in my ears while she tries to kill you? Do you really think I could do that?

Edited 2020-04-25 00:38 (UTC)

[She feels that at core. She hadn't really considered how much Neo's current path might in have common with what he had gone through. They weren't the same but had been similar hadn't they. She deflates and chews at her lip at that.]

I-I-..

[She felt so small having it laid out flat to her like that.]

But you did, You aren't like her. Even if you were, you aren't now. If you could do it I can't give up hope that she wont too.

[She's not sure if she fully bought that herself but it was literally all she had to hang on for at the moment.

That is until he slips the carpet out from under her again.]

I didn't mean it like that. I just-

[Except she did mean it like that. She totally did.]

-I just-

I can take care of my-

[Except she clearly couldn't. She had already messed up against Neo twice since she arrived. Her one victory against her was by getting a lucky shot and removing her from the battlefield back at home.]

-I don't know. Okay!?

I don't know...

I spent a year rotting in a dungeon cell before I got perspective enough to even start to see sense. And even then, it took the threat of someone levelling the entire Kingdom and killing literally everyone for me to finally stop. I'm not a poster child for redemption, Ruby. I only changed when I was faced with a line I didn't want to cross.

[He hates talking about this- being so open about how awful he was. Ruby knows the story now, and she didn't bail on him- but that fear still lingers, from time to time. Neo might be a monster, but so was he. And monsters don't change so easily. He doesn't want Ruby to get herself killed in some vain hope she can sway Neo away from the path she's on.]

I'm just- [He heaves out a sigh. He's worried about her and he knows she's facing an impossible task here. Whatever she picks, someone is going to get hurt.] It doesn't have to be just your fight. It isn't just your fight- so long as you've got people who care about you, it can't just be your fight. It doesn't work that way.

[She just stares for a moment. She feels absolutely terrible for trying to use his past like that. It doesn't help that it backfired on her either. She was grasping at straws and there weren't a lot of them to spare.]

I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that...

[Part of her wanted to hold on to the idea that there had to be something that could push Neo the same way. She didn't know what could but she did wish with all of her heart that it was so.]

I just... I don't blame her for how she feels. I can't. I lost two of my best friends the day she lost him. I know what it's like to lose the people you care about. I know there's a hole in her heart that just isn't going to get better.

[She wouldn't say that she wants Neo to kill her, but remaining a target for her gave Neo something to work toward.]

I know-I know. But-

-But I guess it doesn't matter how much I don't want to see you get hurt if you don't want to see me get hurt, huh?

[He hunches his shoulders, it wasn't his intention to make her feel bad- and he feels a flicker of guilt for doing so.]

It's... fine. I just- you just need to understand you can't always fix this kind of thing. No amount of kind words or understanding can turn a person that focused on destruction. She has to come to it on her own or she won't at all. I don't want to see you get yourself killed trying.

[Because he's got a pretty good understanding of Ruby now. She's so very kind and decent. If she can make changes without anyone getting hurt, she'd take it every time, he's pretty sure of it. ]

I'm sorry about your friends. [And he is, genuinely. Loss strikes hard. He knows, oh he knows Ruby and Neo have dealt with their grief in very different ways- but he's not going to bring that up. Maybe the shared pain helps her. Somehow.

He offers her a tired smile.]

Sorry, nope. I don't matter at all- I can't stand aside on this one. You're stuck with me.

[It's a tough pill that she's trying her darndest not to swallow.]

That's... I see your point and I understand where your coming from. I just feel like I have to do something. Even if I can't make things between us, I can at least try to not make things worse. I doubt she's going to stop regardless but she's just going to fight all the harder if she thinks she has to go through a bunch of people to get to me.

[She tries her hardest to do that. It's not always an option but hasn't been fire balled in the face time for trying at least.

She gives a half hearted little smile at that.]

Thanks. I got to see them both again. One of the small upsides to being here, I guess. And the other is still here but I guess I'll be seeing them again when I go home too.

It's weird and it doesn't make it hurt less but it's a silver lining.

[She brightens up slightly at that comment.]

I can think of worse people to be stuck with. I think I can begrudgingly accept that.

[God, she is so like Rapunzel. He never understands where she can pull such undiluted goodness from. It's not an effort for her- she's decent and kind because it just comes naturally to her. He's a little envious of her ability. It's precious, and should be kept safe.]

...Yeah, I know. You wouldn't be you if you stopped trying. I get it.

[He's just going to have to be the cynical asshole waiting to help when it all comes tumbling down- ready to help her back up again and hope it doesn't destroy that precious part of her in the process.]

That's- well, that's something at least. So the one you'll see again isn't... properly dead?

[Or will they come back as a ghost? Who knows, honestly. ]

I'm glad. I mean, you don't have a choice either way, but still.

[It's just who she was. It's not like she'd even take a whole lot of credit for it. She was more likely to chalk it up to her role models or friends for her being the way she was.]

I appreciate you challenging me on it though. It keeps me on me toes.

[She'll be grateful to have him there. It'll help keep that little spark inside her alight to have people around her who care.]

They were properly dead as far as I know and the best way that they could describe it too. They were just able to get jump start back into things. It's something I get to look forward to figuring out when I get home.

[Robo-girl just has a really good dad.]

I gotchya. You just won't catch me kicking and screaming about it.

Well, I can keep doing that, for sure. I'll always be around to offer you some good old fashioned pessimism.

[He's a pro at that!]

So they came back from the dead. Well, that's lucky.

[His tone isn't even slightly questioning or sarcastic. Look, Eugene absolutely died once and Rapunzel brought him back. He's pretty sure his dad was super dead in the amber. His world has occasional death loopholes in the shape of one happy princess.

He offers a smile and a little salute.]

Glad to hear it.

[So, despite that trainwreck of a birthday announcement, Maul had in fact taken notice. He's always been one much more for actions rather then words when it comes to showing affection for someone. So he goes to the universal market, back to a stall he'd seen that had come from his own galaxy, and gotten something for Varian.

He'll find a small, unadorned box outside his front door. There's a note attached.]

Surviving another year is always an occasion worth celebrating.

[Within is a leather case with a space-themed steel ring. He thought it might be something Varian would enjoy given his propensity for science.]

[Holy shit, Maul, this is a nice-ass ring! He might even decide to stop wearing his gloves ALL the time so he can enjoy it. He's definitely taking a glove on to try it on regardless. Nice.

Look, Maul, he'll even send you a message later. ]

Thanks for the present. It's really cool. Another year of existence, go me!

[Maul, despite all odds, actually smiles when he sees Varian messaging him. What can he say? He doesn’t have a heart made of stone.]

I’m glad you liked it. I wasn’t sure if it was suited to your tastes or not.

[Careful, Maul, people might think you're going soft.]

I love it! I've never had anything like this before, so I guess you just set the foundation of the tastes for me. Thanks, I really appreciate it.

[Meh. He'll just have to lop off a few heads to show people he's still an evil wielder of the Dark Side of the Force.]

It was my pleasure. It's good to have cause to celebrate. I haven't done so in years.

[Flawless plan, Maul.]

Well. Glad to give you a reason to.

How old does that make you now?

[He knows Varian is a teen but that doesn't really narrow it down for him. Most teens just sort of look like unformed little potatoes to him, so he's never sure how old they are.]

Sixteen, now. It's better than my fifteenth birthday which was spent in...y'know, jail, so I'll take it.

[That's Varian. A little unformed scrawny potato. ]

I'm sure you have a magnificent story for why that was happening.

[He is still completely unsurprised that such a thing would have happened to Varian. He just seemed to lead the sort of life that occasionally involved ending up in jail.]

I don't quite remember what I was doing when I turned fifteen. It was likely spent killing someone.

I wouldn't really call it magnificent. I'll tell you someday.

[Once you've jumped through the SIX MILLION HOOPS it takes to get to his tragic backstory.]

That about track with you.

I'll hold you to that.

[It'll be quite the achievement unlocked when that happens.]

Am I really that predictable?

I wouldn't say predictable as much as I'd say... charmingly consistent.

How very flattering. You have such a way with words.

What can I say? I'm a true wordsmith.

[Not long after this conversation....]

you told Ruby
you lied to me

[You now, he'd been kind of hinging this on the vain hope that Ruby wouldn't talk to Fern. He's made it clear he doesn't like her, she had no need to reach out.

But of course, Ruby is Ruby and he should have seen this coming. Damnit, Ruby, you could have been an asshole this once. ]

Only because I knew you wouldn't react well to it. [That's... not helping.] Okay, fine. I told Ruby, I went to hers the night you died because staying home and letting my grief fester didn't work out so well for me last time.

Would it have made you feel any better to know the truth there and then?

[Fern doesn't respond right away. As stupid as it is, he'd been vainly hoping Varian's answer would be no, that this was all a big misunderstanding and that things aren't as bad as he thinks they are. It's one thing to only have told one person he cares about that he died, it's another for Varian to have turned around and, that night, told someone that he hated. And then lie about it.]

yes
at least you wouldn't have been lying to me
guess this is my fault for thinking we're friends

[In hindsight, the lying part was probably the worst misstep. He'd kind of expected this sort of reaction from Fern, but he's surprised that it still hurt a lot to read those words.]

That's not fair. Of course we're friends. You're probably the best friend I've had in... ever.

But I guess I failed spectacularly in showing that. I'm sorry. I made a wrong call. I never wanted to actually hurt you, I've been trying to do the opposite. But again, failing spectacularly.

i don't know if i can believe you

[He wants to, he really wants to, but everything he's heard forces doubt to creep into his mind.]

you didn't even try to tell anyone i care about
but you turned around and told someone you care about the first day
someone you know i hate and would never want knowing what happened
and then you lied to me about it

as soon as i get inconvenient you run off to Ruby
you're probably gonna do that once i hang up no matter what i say

we aren't friends, i'm just a way for you to avoid being bored

Edited 2020-05-05 22:00 (UTC)

I told you why I didn't tell them. I told you I freaked out and I made a mistake. If I could go back and change that, I would. But I can't.

I didn't go to Ruby to spite you. I went to Ruby because she's my friend and I'd just killed one of the most important people to me in this place. I didn't know that to do and being home alone made everything-

I didn't trust myself to be alone with just the thoughts in my head. So I went to Ruby, because she's important to me too. I know you hate her, but I don't. And she helped- it wasn't about getting at you. It was about not letting my grief eat me alive. Again.

[He wanted honesty, and there it was. The last time he was left alone in his grief, he tried to raze a kingdom to the ground. It was self-preservation. Or maybe preservation of this place. Either or. ]

That's not true. You mean a lot to me Fern. You're the first person I ever talked about my past to. Heck, you're the only person here who GETS it. I don't hang around with you to avoid being bored. You're the person who understands me better than anyone- here or home. You matter to me.

Believe what you like. But that's the truth.

oh duh
how could i forget that she's such a good friend
forget everything i just said, because she's a good friend and that's all that matters
thanks for reminding me

[Because that's all he's seeing right now, another reminder that she's like Finn. Always and forever better than him.]

i THOUGHT all of that was true
but for all i know you're just lying again

i'm done
i don't know if we ever were friends
but we aren't now

What? How did you get ANY of that from what I just said? You know I can have multiple friends, right? It's not a competition. I don't RANK you guys.

[He can feel that old, bitter anger filling in around the hurt. The same one he felt when he thought Rapunzel had betrayed him. It was partly his fault then, too, but the pain feels the same regardless.]

You know what? Fine. I told you the truth, it's up to you if you want to believe me or not. You're not the first person to turn their back on me for my mistakes and you won't be the last. I just never expected it to come from you.

[Serves him right for thinking anyone could look beyond that. Sure serves him right. ]

[A reasonable person would understand this, that this whole idea of friendship with Varian being a competition is total nonsense. That that isn't how friendship in general works.

But that isn't how Fern's mind works. Every mention of Ruby being a good person feels like a stab against him, reinforcement that he isn't like that, and can never hope to be that kind of person again. He isn't anywhere near as good as she is, and that's why Varian listens to her over him.

There's a ranking. Varian is either just lying or in denial, and whether or not it's malicious doesn't matter. It still hurts, just like it does when he reads the continued texts. 'You're not the first person to turn their back on me.'

That draws up a sick feeling in him, like he's abandoning Varian. But he isn't, right? Varian's the one who is wrong here. Varian is the one who doesn't care.

He keeps repeating that thought in his mind, but his hands are still shaking as he types up a response.]

fine
you can believe whatever you want too
i've got nothing else to say to you

[There's a part of Varian that wants to keep going- because he's really bad at letting things go and tends to keep shovelling even after he's hit rock bottom. He really wants to rant and rave and make Fern understand that this hurts. That no matter what he believes, he still matters to him. A lot.

But he doesn't. For once, he puts down the shovel and heaves out a breath. That protective wall of his slams right back up. Fine. Same old dance, just a different partner. Fine. ]

Keep Ruddiger around for a few days. He'll help you out while you're still sick.

[trienemybest is offline]

[Minutes? Hours? A day after Varian's text with Fern?]

Hi.
So I think I got Fern mad at me again.
I was just trying to be understanding but it kind of blew up.
Just thought I'd let you know in case he decides to rant to you about it.
I'm sorry in advance. I wasn't trying to be a jerk.

[Hooo boy, here we go. He doesn't blame Ruby for any of this. He knows she was just being her usual decent self and Fern flipped the hell out because that's apparently super offensive to him. ]

Yeah, he's already contacted me. I didn't actually tell him I'd been to see you because he hates the fact you even exist let alone the fact you exist in the same breathing space as me. Turns out that was a BAD call.

I know you weren't. I don't think you're actually capable of it. Sorry, he's just- It's a lot. Sorry if you got dragged into the mess. It's not your fault.

[Oh dear. She was kind of hoping she could have mentioned this before anything happened. She feels bad for debating whether she should mention anything at all. She want to seem like she was prying into their friendship or anything.

She reads over the text and the next line worries her. After being warned about Fern she knew he had been a threat to other Sleepers before. The fact that every time she heard about Fern he seemed to hate her more than the last time only dialed things up to eleven.

At the same time it wasn't something she wanted to bring up to Varian. She knew about his past and she didn't think bringing up someone's past violent behavior and judging them for it was a good move. Mainly because she thought Varian was a good influence for Fern. Not to mention Varian knew about her and Neo and how he had reacted to that. She didn't want things to escalate needlessly if she could avoid it.

She could take care of herself if she needed to.

Wow. She has been staring at the screen for a long time.]

That bad, huh?
Feels a little extreme.
I guess this has to do with his baggage?
He mentioned a Finn and I have no idea who that is.

I wouldn't say I'm not capable of it, but I try my best not to.
I mean it's my own fault. I know he doesn't like me and I butted in anyways.
I thought maybe I could make him not like me a little less and that might make things a little easier on you.

Edited 2020-05-06 21:30 (UTC)

[That's a wise move on her part. Things between Varian and Fern are already pretty awful, but if he thought Fern was an actual threat to Ruby... well. Things might end up considerably worse. He'd say something he'd regret, to be sure.]

That bad. Finn is... a complicated mess. All you need to know is Finn is a legit hero type who tries to look out for other people and Fern hates him. I think it's a projection thing, honestly.

[Fern also WAS Finn and wants to BE Finn and that's a whole other can of worms, but he's not going to share that part. He and Fern might be on the rocks, but he's not about to make things worse for his friend by revealing everything he knows. As much as Fern has decided he doesn't care. ]

It's not your fault. I should have been honest with him, but I did what I thought would cause the least amount of damage. He was already angry with me, trust me. I didn't tell his loved ones what happened, which in hindsight, bad idea. The fact I told you was just salt in the wound.

Like I said. Not your fault. Just me digging after I've hit rock bottom as usual.

Edited 2020-05-06 22:23 (UTC)

[She didn't like keeping information like this. It reminded her too much of home. She knew how Varian had reacted to having Neo on her back and didn't want him risking himself needlessly for her. More so when she was pretty confident that Varian was a good influence on Fern. It was a mess she was sure she could handle and explain later but she really hoped it wouldn't come to that.]

That's reassuring. Sounds like a real stand up guy. I think I understand a bit better at least.

[That was enough to explain why Fern was always so against her trying to help out. It wasn't a lot of information but it was something to work with.]

Maybe not, but I didn't exactly help your situation either. I knew he wasn't a fan of me and I reached out anyways.

I get him being upset about that. You were hurting too though, no one could expect you to be performing at the top of your game.

We both messed up at least a little.

[He thought he was a good influence too. He thought he might be able to get through to Fern. Or at least get him away from the utter destruction he always teetered on. Varian might be a mess, but he's at least managed to step away from that particular precipice. ]

Yeah. It's nothing you've personally done. Except be a decent person and you shouldn't be made to feel bad for that.

You did. Because of the aforementioned decent person thing. Don't be sorry about that. Don't ever be sorry for who you are. You're good people, Ruby, and that matters a lot. It means a lot.

Maybe he'll get over it, maybe he won't. I don't have the ability to change that fact. It's up to him.

Well it helps to know a bit more about what his baggage is. I can tread more carefully from now on. As decent as I've been trying to be it doesn't help if it's stepping on his feelings at the same time.

Don't you worry. I don't intend on changing who I am anytime soon. I try to be the best that I can and it means a whole bunch to me that other people care about that.

We'll see. I hope he does come around and you both patch things up. This can't be easy for either of you.

I'd suggest giving him space? Or... I don't know, maybe give him as much as you get? I honestly don't know what would work. Me constantly telling him you guys aren't in competition for my attention doesn't seem to be working.

I know I do.

Uh. Care about you being you. I mean. Yup. Yep.

I'm not loving it right now, that's to be sure. But it's not like I haven't gone through this kind of thing before. Kind of just expect it these days, to be honest.

[If he believes everyone is always one foot outside the door already, he can kid himself that it hurts less when they leave all the way. ]

Yeah. Space might be the best way to go. Anything else I've tried has done the opposite of help. I think I can do space. If anything else is needed we can cross that bridge when we get there.

Yeah. Of course. I care about you being you too. don't stop doing that.

Well. You shouldn't have to expect it. At least not with me. :D I have your back.

I doubt he'll be going near any of us for a good long while, so you should be fine there.

Well, at least I'm a pro at remaining a complete disaster. Sure can keep that going. No worries there.

[His self-depreciation is at Defcon two right now. He reads her words and he wants to believe her. He knows she's decent and honest (the very qualities which Fern despises in her) and he knows she wouldn't say it if she didn't mean it. But meaning it now and following that through when everything falls to pieces are two very different things. He had the utmost faith that Fern had his back. But he ruined that and now Fern's gone.

It's probably only a matter of time before he detonates what they've got here and she'll leave too. He wouldn't even blame her for it. Some people just shouldn't be around others. ]

You don't know that. I haven't ruined your life yet. Give it time.

[Oh.... Well... She probably should have expected this but it still hurts to read regardless.]

No. I guess I don't.
But if that's a warning about what could happen then I just want you to know I've read and understand it.
I'm also just going to ignore it.
So now it's my fault if you completely ruin my life.
You tried to stop me and I just didn't listen.

[He doesn't respond right away. Reading that over and over. Of course that's how she's answer- of course. If Ruby ever backed down from anything it would be a goddamn miracle. He's still afraid that he'll inevitably hurt her. His experience with Fern, the reminder that he still makes terrible mistakes has only exacerbated the feelings of unworthiness he's had around her.

And yet, despite all that- he doesn't want to feel that way. He wants to be better. To be somehow worthy of her.]

Well. Guess I can't argue with that. You got me there. When it inevitably happens on your head be it.

I appreciate that, though. I've got your back too, much as I'm able. You saying that means a lot.

You mean a lot.

It's my burden to bear. I'll even let you say you told me so when it happens.
I wouldn't ask for anything more than that.
I'm always there for my friends.

[Huh. He's been typing for a while there. Jeez. Hopefully he puts a TLDR at the end. Her attention span isn't the greatest.]

[You mean a lot.

Normally a phrase like that wouldn't have really phased her. She could shrug it off as a general statement or just being really close friends. Ruby being emotionally attached to someone in a way other than friends or family just wasn't something Ruby thought about normally.

But Yang had been grilling her about this since the night Varian had been over. She had tried to brush it off as nothing but thoughts were lingering now. She cared about Varian a whole lot. Maybe she just never realized how much she cared until someone had literally slapped her in the face with it.

She stared at the screen for a moment completely dumbfounded.]

[It took a little for Ruby.exe to reboot and she started to try and fumble at her Fluid to try get a message typed out. Her fingers fumbled and bumbled on the screen until it slipped right out of her hands and bounced along the floor. She let out a yelp. Jeez. When the heck did her palms get so sweaty?

She takes a moment to breath and wipes her hands on her skirt before she goes and makes another attempt at this.]

I
THATSGREAT
YOUMEANALOTTOMETOO
ASAFRIEND
ANDIDUNNO
MAYEBEOHMYGRAPEITHINKYANGWASRIGT

[You know, he was with her for that first part. Sure, it was a definite Ruby-esque rally-the-troops kind of reply. But that's what made her... her, and if he was honest her endless bounds of optimism really did help even out his endless bounds of cynicism.

Then she took forever to type more and he instantly regretted what he put there. God that was so dumb, what was he even thinking? That's the worst possible thing to type. Maybe he can just brush it off as a friendship thing.

Sure. Sure. He'S put a spin on things before, and it wouldn't technically be lying right? Probably. ]

[And then he gets an incomprehensible reply. Ruby don't do this to him, he's from ye olden times, he doesn't understand half of what goes on with the Fluids. Is this more keymashing? Is it text-speak?

IS IT A MEE-MEE?

What is even happening? Is she having a stroke? Holy shit, did he make her have a stroke?]

What?

[He's just like... staring at the screen and oh, wait he can see words. It's like an optical illusion.

...Or she forgot to press her space bar. Probably that one.]

Oh. Never mind. Got it. There's a little symbol that's a horizontal line with two smaller vertical lines on either side. That puts spaces between the words.

[The "as a friend" kind of stings and he hates that it does. He's faced rejection before- after all his first crush was a woman nine entire years his senior. It's not exactly new. But that had been an awkward puppy crush that in his heart of hearts knew wouldn't have actually gone anywhere. Maybe it's because he's still dealing with the fact Fern doesn't want to talk to him any more, but this sucks a lot more than he expected it would.

Ugh. This is why emotions are the worst. Roll on the day he can just transfer himself into a robot body and be done with it. ]

Yeah. Okay. I get it. It's cool.

...I'm confused about the grapes and Yang?

[Oh, right. Spaces. She can do that. She's not totally freaking out at all. Her brain is definitely not running on autopilot.]

GRAPES! FREAKIN' GRAPES!
YANG WAS RIGHT!
SHE WAS RIGHT THAT I HAVE FEELINGS ABOUT VARIAN
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!?
WHY ISN'T SHE ANSWERING HER FLUID!?
WHAT DO I TELL HIM!?
DO I SAY ANYTHING!?
NO NO
DON'T PANIC
JUST SIT HERE AND YOU CAN FIGURE THIS OUT
IT'SNOTNOTGOODATALL
HE'S ASKING ABOUT THE GRAPES
ANDABOUTWHATYANGSAID
OH NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
ABORT ABORT

[Oh no! She typed all that.

And she hit send.

OH NO.]

I JUST SENT ALL THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AGJAIGAIUGHAWIUGAWITGAWJOITAWOJITFAWGAWTGJAGANJ

PLZ JUST IGNORE THE LAST MESSAGE
HAVE A GOOD DAY NOT BENNY

[Well. At least she used the space bar this time.

Who was she even talking to?

I have feelings about Varian. Those words all make sense individually, but he has to read it a few times for the sentence to make sense in his head. The perceived rejection sucked a lot, but he equally hadn't prepped for this.

Oh god, why did he just say the thing? He knew he wasn't prepared for this and he did it anyway. Because god forbid he think about something before diving in feet first like a crazy person every single time.

He could do as she asks and ignore this. Not Benny didn't see a damn thing, no sir. Then they can go on pretending and he won't have to acknowledge there are real emotions at stake here and it'll all be fine. He's GREAT at repression. He'll be fine. ]

[And then he does the absolute fucking opposite of that.

Trienemybest is calling you]

[Okay. She handled this like a pro. Now all she has to do is hide under her blanket until the heat death of the universe. This is good.

She can do this.

Then her fluid starts to ring.

And she starts freaking out all over again.

WHY CAN'T SHE JUST HAVE A MOMENT TO PROCESS ALL OF THIS!?]

[Okay. Deep breath. Ruby Rose has got this. She answers the call.]

Hi. You've reached the voice mail of Ruby Rose. I-I can't come to the phone right now but f-feel free to leave a message after the beep and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

[There's a long pause and some awkward breathing.]

B-beep.

[...]

Ruby, I can hear you breathing.

[...]

You're supposed to leave a message.

[That's a LONG-ASS sigh right there.]

Fiiiiiiine.

[Ruby why are you like this. But then, why is he like this? If either of them could function properly they wouldn't be here right now. Still, he'll play along- light and airy, like he's just leaving her a regular message. ]

Heeeeeeey Ruby,

It's Varian. Just calling in to check on what the heck that message was. Get back to me soon, okay. Byyyyyyyyyyyye.

[He's not hanging up. He's just going to start humming. Take your time.]

[Look. She'll take the sigh. She knows she's being a pain but there is a lot of feelings she's trying to process right now and she doesn't know how to do it.

Being put on the spot like this is not what she was hoping for but she is going to make the most out of his humming. Hopefully he doesn't get tired of that soon.

...Not mention it's a nice tu-NO NO.

Gosh that is exactly what got her into this.]

Oh hey. Varian,

That message? I-uh-Well...

You see, Zwei-

No-No. That didn't work last time.

I-er-you-see.

I don't really know?

I was just typing and thinking and feeling and it just kind of happened.

You can just ignore it if you want. Pretend it didn't happen.

That's cool. I'd understand completely.

Uh...

[He's patient while she digs several holes for herself. It's fine, he can wait. It's probably a good thing he chose to just call her instead of going for video. She can't see the way his eyebrows knit together. ]

...But I don't want to pretend it didn't happen.

[Good job, this is going great. Wow, why did he think he could actually have this conversation? Is he crazy?]

I-I mean. I don't know.

[He exhales, suddenly very unsure. He has no idea what he's doing. This isn't like his awkward flirting with Cass. This is different and it's terrifying.]

It's complicated. Everything is complicated and weird and I... uh, I don't really know how to deal with it? Emotions are hard. I've not- not really done this before.

[She's generally content to keep digging holes for herself until she hears the tone in his voice.

Oh.

He didn't want to pretend this wasn't some sort of huge mistake? She... hadn't really expected that.

Honestly hearing him talk sounded a lot like the feelings going through her head right about now. It grounded the more frantic thoughts and gave her something to focus on. It helped.]

Oh.

[Spoken like a true word smith.

She paused briefly and gave herself a bit of time to consider this more carefully.]

I mean. I haven't either.

If you don't want to pretend it didn't happen. I guess we don't have to.

...But... What do you want to do if we don't do that?

A-and I'm not trying to throw a lot of pressure on you to figure that out either.

It's just.

Well you said it. Emotions are hard.

Edited 2020-05-09 00:40 (UTC)

[What does he want to do? That's the real question here. It would be kinder in the long-run to ignore this. To let it die before it can become something else. Something more. Because he's a goddamn disaster, and he's scared of hurting her. She deserves someone better than him. Someone that hasn't done the things he has.

But Varian selfishly doesn't want to do that. The thought of leaving this be hurts. He doesn't want this to be nothing. ]

I- I don't know. I'm... a lot, and you could do way better.

[There's no pity in his tone- just a statement of fact. The sky is blue.]

I... well, I-I guess we can see where it goes? Take our time? I don't know. Emotions are really hard.

[She plays with the thought briefly. She doesn't think she's much better in terms of being a disaster. She was just one girl with a whole lot of responsibility on her plate and no cutlery to deal with it. ...And also she was pretty sure her meal was on fire.]

I mean, I can deal with a lot. I wouldn't even know what to consider better?

Last I checked I have people actually trying to kill me here and back at home. That's not exactly every day problems either.

[She knows he knows what she's going through. But she also knows what he's going through.]

You know what? Okay. That sounds fine to me. If it's okay with you?

Let's just... Figure things out-

Together?

Someone who isn't an actual ex-convict would probably be a good start.

...But yeah, that's... fair. I don't have that at least.

[As much danger as he's in back home right now, he doesn't think Cass will actually kill him. She already told him she didn't want to hurt him. He's just bait for Rapunzel. And mad as Fern is with him here, he doubts he's ever going to kill him. He's... relatively safe.

A small smile flickers across his face that she can't see. Okay. Okay.]

Y-yeah. That... uh, that works for me. I like that. We can figure it out together. Deal.

You're right. I stole a military airship and didn't get caught.

You're going to have to have to get on my level.

[They let her get away with it in the end, but she doesn't have clarify that yet.]

Sweet. I guess that's a thing we're doing now.

Great.

[She has no idea what to do from here.]

[Okay, Ruby, that gets a proper laugh out of him.]

That is true, I haven't managed that level of heinous crime yet. Dang, I've got to work on my villainy game.

[Wow, they're excellent at this.]

Heh. Yeah. Um- g-great. That's... that sure is a thing we're doing now.

When you actually get away with a crime then we can talk. I'll hold onto the title of criminal mastermind until then.

[Little Pros. That's what we have here.]

So... You just working away in the lab? Anything cool going on down there?

Then from now on, I know exactly who to defer to when it comes to criminal knowledge.

Depends on your definition of cool. I'm testing the osmotic pressure of these candies called gummy bears. They're made of gelatine so putting them in another solution will make-

[Halfway through that he remembered he wasn't talking to a science nerd, sorry Ruby. ]

Uh. The candy sucks up the solution and basically I'm finding an effective way to drug gummy bears. Don't judge me.

I'm glad I could hook you up with proper underworld connections.

[The only reason Ruby's eyes had not started to glaze over was because he had mentioned gummy bears. She does have to have to give her head a shake when her head when he starts to talk more on her level.]

I mean that sounds cool and all but I could be eating those gummy bears instead.

Truly, you are good to me.

[Ruby no. It's about seeing if he CAN. That's the beauty of science. The testing.

...]

I have a bag of control gummy bears that you can eat.

Score!

I'll be over in over in a few!

[Nothing else matters.]

[He chuckles, how did he know what would be the response?]

Sure thing. See you soon.

[It's... More than a little longer than what "See you in a few" normally would mean to Ruby. She had to deal with her sister barging into her room immediately after she disconnected the call. So she had to deal with a frantic flash of emotions all over again and calming down back down.

She apparently has a lot going on in her life at the moment.

She does eventually show up at Varian's door. A long object wrapped in black fabric was slung over her shoulder with her usual gear. She gives the door a few knocks. No breaking and entering today.]

[That's fine, time is relative to Varian anyway when he's experimenting. Gotta drug a whole shit-ton of gummy bears after all. You deal with Yang, good luck with that disaster.

Still, he opens to door with a lopsided smile- because it honestly is good to see her even if his emotions are still currently running circles around his head screaming a lot. It's fine. He can handle this, it's fine. He opens the door a little more for her to enter- the house is currently empty of Ruddiger. ]

Hey, come on in. [He sees whatever she's got there and oh is he curious, but he'll at least wait like... three minutes before asking questions about it.] New piece for Crescent Rose?

[Or not.]

[Ruby had a lot of awkward thoughts and feelings running around in her mind too. But she's not sure she wants to go another round of talking about her feelings with Yang. She also had to get something out of the house before it became a thing too.

So when Varian opens the door, she returns his lopsided smile with a bright and cheery one of her own. She makes note of the lack of Ruddiger but he could be off doing raccoon things like raiding someone else's fridge for a change. She didn't let that bother her.]

Hey, thanks!

[She steps in at an angle so the bundle doesn't hit anything in the threshold.

She feels her cheeks heat up when he asks about the gear. Gosh. This suddenly meant a whole lot more than just being a birthday gift or a thank you for saving her life.]

Uh-Well-No. Nothing quite like that.

[She fumbles to pull unsling from her shoulder and pushes it his direction.]

W-Why don't you take a look at it and tell me what you think?

Or actually where are those gummy bears? Gummy bears would be good right now.

[She gives the bundle another shove his way. Please take it.

Turns out there's a staff wrapped up in all that cloth. One that doubles as a rifle with a bayonet on the end. Something old timey for the old timey boy.]

[That's definately what Ruddiger is doing. Yessir. He blinks as she thrusts the bundle in his direction. It's not exactly what he was expecting and the fact she's being awkward about it only makes his own awkwardness grow. They'll be stuck in an awkwardness feedback if they're not careful.

He takes it from her, feeling his own cheeks flush. Okay okay, keep it together. ]

Um... sure, okay.

[He nods the way to his basement, thankfully now repaired from their last fun adventure. He places the bundle carefully on his workbench, before picking up a paper bag, offering them over. They are, indeed, filled with (not drugged) gummy bears. The paper bag has 'control' written on it- scribbled out in favour of 'Ruby's'. There you go, officially your gummy bears. ]

As promised, one entire bag of gummy bears.

[He'll leave her to inhale the candy, opening up the package. He'd put the messaged she'd given to him on his birthday to the back of his mind. With everything that's happened recently, it slipped through the cracks of his memory. Ah, but he remembers it now, picking it up and checking it over with a genuinely impressed expression.]

Oh, wow. You- you finished it?

[She's just going to dump her face in her cloak as they make their way downstairs. Just to give her own cheeks a bit of time to cool off. It's very smooth and not obvious at all what she's trying to do.

She manages to push any embarrassment she might feel aside when the gummy bears are tossed her way. She gives a fist pump and quickly finds herself a place to sit in the lab. ...Does he have chairs down here? Maybe they need to get some chairs down here for when she's loitering. If not she's plopped herself on a bench or against the wall. Either way she's going to open the bag and start popping gummy bears into her mouth.

Her eyes shift over toward him as he starts to open up the bundle. Smiling brightly as he starts to look it over.]

Yeah! I-well-I had a bit of spare time over the last week and a bit. So I just kind of went full throttle on it.

What do you think?

[She was also very aware he was having a rough time. So she thought it would've made a good pick-me-up.]

[He totally has a few shitty stools dotting around. Not exactly the most comfortable places in the world, but Varian kind of sucks at that side of things. Make him buy an armchair for in here, Ruby, even if it's a beat-up old one. At least then he can pass out on it instead of a workbench. Save his poor, sad back.

He grins at the staff, turning it this way and that, examining it. It really is something special. And she made it for him. No one's ever made him something before- he's usually the one doing all the making. A good pick=me-up this certainly is. ]

It-it's amazing! The craftsmanship on it is incredible! I- I mean I knew you were great at this, I've seen Cresent Rose, but this is really something! The trigger mechanism, the weight, the size- everything is perfect!

[Okay he's started to realise he's babbling excitedly a lot and manages to reign it in. A little. He lets out an awkward laugh, looking at her with a grin, trying his best to ignore the blush creeping across his face wow, okay, thanks for the butterflies, stomach, that's helpful.]

I uh... I mean. I love it. Thanks. It's really cool.

[Now that he'll be meeting Yang. They're going to have access to the family vehicle. So they can definitely pick him some furniture down the road. She will do what she can to save his back.

She can't help grinning as he looks it over. Normally she always likes it when someone appreciates her handiwork, but it made her heart flutter a little that he liked it. Jeez. It had only been a couple hours since they figured this was a thing to try but it nice to just... not assume those emotions were out of place.]

Well I had to go all out. It let it be too heavy that was uncomfortable to walk around with. It also needed to durable enough to be useful in a fight. The containers at the top should be able to store just about anything you can cook up to put them.

[Wow. Okay. He's smiling at and blushing at her and looking at her like a dork. Uh- Oh no. She's pretty sure she's doing the same thing. Yep. Just going to look up toward the ceiling a little.]

Of-Of course- I'm glad. You're welcome.

Happy belated birthday- and all that.

Edited 2020-05-10 21:13 (UTC)

[It's charity work, really. Making sure this poor alchemist has a safe, cosy place to pass out because god forbid he sleeps in his actual bed like a normal person.

He checks the places she points out, and oh yes, he could throw SO MANY concoctions into this. This is the best. ]

It's certainly more efficient than just the alchemy bombs. I can probably aim better too.

[He rubs the back of his neck, trying not to look as awkward as he's feeling. Com on, suck it up, she's still Ruby.]

Pretty dang cool as birthday presents go, gotta admit. I kinda missed having a staff.

[The real question is if he would actually use it just because he had easier access to it?]

It's just a little more refined than tossing it and hoping for the best. We could work on something later on that actually lobs or fires off the alchemy bombs too if you want. That might be something a little bigger than a staff.

[She's having about the same problem now which is why she decides to just take a handful of gummy bears and just stuff them into her mouth. That's the best way to act natural right?

At the very least it might lighten the mood and make things awkward in a different way.]

Weeeelphhh! Nnaawww uuu halllllph omph.

[What a catch, Varian. What a catch.]

Edited 2020-05-11 18:43 (UTC)

[Probably not. Very likely not.]

Like a catapult or something! Yeah. That's work. But you know, I'm pretty happy with this right now. It's perfect.

[Wow, Ruby that's... well, that's sure one was to break the tension. His eyebrows raise as he lets out a snort-laugh. ]

Can you even chew any more?

[Shes trying to power through this, but she might have overdone it with the gummy bears.]

Yeeaaawwwwh. Nawh eeaphon ew uuuusssph iiiee iiiimmmm ggrawweephh-

[Okay. That came out as a garbled mess and she gives up mid sentence. The next question she kind of moves her jaw a bit before shaking her head.]

nnnnawwwww.

[She's working on it. Give her another second and she'll have this down.]

[He leans back on his workbench, folding his arms, a smirk playing across his face as he tries not to laugh. It's a losing battle, to be sure.]

You know, a part of me wants to see you struggle with this and let it be a lesson to you for trying to fit more gummy bears into your mouth than a human being can actually handle.

[A laugh escapes him anyway, a genuinely happy one. He moves from his leaning position to find her an empty bucket, handing it over.]

But equally, I don't want to see you choke on a metric ton of gummy bears and haunt my basement for the rest of time.

[She's trying really hard to get these down but it doesn't look like she's making any progress.

The fact that he's laughing is making her chuckle and snort under all these gummy bears.

Her eyes widen at the sight of the bucket. She's hates to waste good candy but she may have put herself in for a losing battle here. She takes the bucket and makes sure to stuff her face in it before spitting out the wad of gummy deliciousness.

RIP candy. She will miss you.

She pulls her face out and laughs.]

Ohhh phew! I mean... I'm pretty sure I could have taken them in the long run. They were starting to soften. Chips in the old armor if you will.

But-yeah. I guess that wouldn't exactly be the most pleasant ghost to have floating around. ...It would be a great story though.

[For a hot second there, he really did think she was going to bloody-mindedly try to eat the giant wad of gummy bears and die the most pointless death in Deerinton history. Thankfully, she sees sense and relinquishes her gummy prize. ]

Huh-huh. I could tell. You were definitely winning that fight.

[She absolutely was not and they both know it. He snorts in amusement.]

Oh yeah, it would really compliment all the booby-traps. I'm sure your sister would love to hear the story of how I accidentally murdered you with gummy bears. Manslaughter? Probably manslaughter. Don't have that one on my rap sheet yet.

Edited 2020-05-11 22:39 (UTC)

[Some things are worth dying for. As much as Ruby might say it would've been worth it. It definitely would not have been.]

Oh yeah. Had them on the ropes but decided mercy was the way to go.

[And she pops another gummy bear in her mouth like nothing happened.]

Jeez. Yeah that wouldn't be a good look. She'd probably be pretty upset that you exploited my one weakness like that.

...She also probably wouldn't be thrilled about the idea of a ghost me being down here all the time. Like a picture would probably do the trick.

Edited 2020-05-11 22:59 (UTC)

The benevolence you have shown the gummy bears today will surely be writ in the annals of history.

[And of course she's just gonna start eating gummy bears again. At least they're not the ones from the bucket. Small mercies. ]

I'm pretty sure that's knee-cap breaking territory right there and I'm still attached to that leg of mine at the moment. Maybe another time.

Yeah, there are way less spooky momentoes. [He'd rather not have your ghost hanging around, Ruby. Demi Moore he is not.]

So, does the staff have a name?

I would be disappointed if it wasn't. I'm a very merciful person when I want to be.

[She'd be lying if she didn't at least think about it. Maybe when he's not looking or when all the spit has dried.]

That's fair. We wouldn't anything to happen to old Righty unless it was totally necessary.

[She popped one more gummy bear in her mouth before answering.]

So I thought about naming it but I ended up deciding not to name it. Mainly because it's going to be your weapon and I think that's something for you to decide on. Really make it your own, you know what I mean?

[Ruby, please. He can get you fresh bummy bears. ]

Old Righty needs to keep a-marching onwards.

[He considers this, turning the staff in his hands.]

I don't know, I'm pretty bad at naming things. I normally just name stuff I make after people I care about. I don't think I could manage something as poetic sounding as Cresent Rose.

[But she already has gummy bears right here?

She starts to fumble around with ideas when he says that.]

Oh come on. You can't be that bad at it if you're naming it after the people you care about. Why don't we try and come up with something together then?

[She eyes her creation and thinks about the people Varian cares about. There was Fern... But naming a gift from her after him was probably not a good sign. There was Rapunzel... She's forgetting someone here but we can overlook that, she's still getting used to that.

Either way an idea comes to mind.]

...What about Rhodium Raps?

You know... Because Rhodium's an element and you do alchemy and stuff and Raps for Rapunzel?

Usually, it's their name and an "ium" at the end of it. It's really not as impressive as you're thinking.

[Fern would absolutely hate that forever and probably set fire to it. Still, that's a good name. It brings a soft smile to his face. Raps was the nickname Cassandra used for her- before everything went down the pan with them. And maybe, maybe one day they could get back on track again as he did with her. It's a good sign of hope- and lord knows Varian could use some more of that in his life. ]

Rhodium Raps. [He tests it out a little, waving it in the air.] You know, I think that fits.

Okay. That pretty simple, but that doesn't make it any less thoughtful. You still thought of your friends when you did it.

[Her expression brightens up when she seems him smile at the name. It was a shot in the dark but she was glad that she had picked something with a good ring to it.]

Well it sounds like we've got a winner. I can't wait to see you two in action together.

I mean...sure, I guess. I never really got inventors who named stuff after themselves. Always seems kina egotistical. Why not name it after the people who inspired you to get there?

[He could go one for a solid hour about the properties of rhodium, but he restrains himself. You were saved this day, Ruby, be grateful. ]

Knowing this place, it won't be that far away. We've gotta be due the next nonsense before too long, right?

[So this isn't a conversation Fern ever expected he'd have to start. He isn't sure how to start it, and it takes him about a half dozen texts that get written and deleted before he gets sick of waffling and just goes with whatever his fingers type.

Just do whatever and get it out of the way. The longer he hesitates the more his fear keeps building.]

hey can we talk
uh face to face
if you don't want to that's cool i won't bug you again

[Varian has been checking his Fluid a lot. He didn't really know if Fern would ever speak to him again or not. He made some pretty damn big mistakes and he wouldn't have blamed the other boy for washing his hands clean for good.

He kept checking all the same though. In some sad, desperate hope that maybe something could be salvaged for all of this. So when Fern messages him, his reply comes pretty quickly. ]

Of course we can. Do you want me to come to you? Are you still sick?

[Fern, meanwhile, is fully expecting to get radio silence in return. Why should Varian bother responding to him? He's obviously a dumpster fire of a person, and he's better off without him in his life.

So he's both shocked and happy when there's a reply. Also terrified, like his fear from before? It's about tripled.]

yes to both of those
sorry
walking around still takes a lot out of me

[Stupid, stupid death flu. Stupid grass body.]

[There's a small, spiteful part of Varian who wants to be bitter about this. To lash out and step even further away- to save himself more pain. But he's missed Fern. Varian wasn't lying when he told the guy he was the best friend he'd ever had. He doesn't want that to go away. ]

It's cool. Are you at the treehouse?

[He's already out of the house and on his way regardless. ]

[Glob, he can't believe he's doing this. Maybe he should have waited until he was deathflu-free, or just... not said anything at all. Because he's certain he's going to screw this up again, that's all he ever does. He's going to screw up and make everything worse and Maul was wrong, he shouldn't have text anything.]

yeah

[He's so stupid.]

Okay. I'll be right over.

[As an afterthought, he tosses a book in his backpack- thankfully NOT a plant-person murdering one this time. Then he's out of his door and making his way to the treehouse. Worry gnaws at his insides as he goes. Is Fern still angry? Is this just another round two? Did he find out about Ruby and now he's just going to set fire to everything with them inside? The possibilities are endless.

Or it could be that Fern wants to smooth things over- which is something Varian is desperately hoping for. He just wants his friend back. More than anything. And it's with this thought that he finally gets to the treehouse, clambering up the ladder to knock on the door. ]

Hey. It's me.

[Meanwhile, Fern drags himself out of bed and down to the main floor, starting to pace. He isn't sure how to start this conversation, and every time he tries to come up with some ideas his brain starts spiralling into paranoid, destructive thoughts of self-loathing, and how angry and upset this whole situation makes him. The one thing he manages to do is dig out that deer candle that showed up in his basket a while ago.

He isn't doing all that great when Varian arrives. He answers the door, looking like a nervous wreck who hasn't slept since he revived (because he hasn't).]

Uh, hey.

[He moves out of the way so Varian can come in, closing the door behind him. There's a little black dog (??) barking at Robert Palmer, who is up in her nest, but at the arrival of someone new he switches gears, racing over to Varian to circle around him and yap endlessly.]

[Varian knows that look- he sported it the entire week Fern was dead for. That sleepless low-grade panic that just wouldn't go away. It wasn't a fun time, and concern mars his features when he sees it on Fern.

He stops to pat the dog (??? - this must be what Kurt was talking about) but his eyes remain on Fern- genuinely concerned. ]

Well. You don't look great. I's ask how you're feeling buuuut, clearly not good.

[The dog just barks and keeps circling until Fern moves to pick him up. He starts squirming as Fern holds him over the candle and squeezes him a little, and like a tiny, fuzzy dragon the dog exhales a bit of fire, lighting the wick.

Then Fern sets him down, and he races over a pile of dirt to roll around in.]

It's just a side effect of being dead. Sleeping's rough.

[And he's also been kind of wrecked emotionally, there's that, too.

He shifts a little, opening his mouth, then pausing, then starting again.]

I, uh - [Nope, that isn't good.]

You -- [No, that won't work, either. At this point Fern is looking pretty frustrated with himself, so he just blurts out the first thing that comes into his head.]

- Maul said you were afraid.

[Nailed it.]

...The dog just breathed fire. Is- is that. Is that something- [FOCUS. He exhales, pushing his hands in an outward motion. ] Not important. Breezing past this.

[He doesn't know what the candle's about- in fact he's pretty sure an open flame in a treehouse is a bad idea- but he lets Fern at it. It's his home and maybe it makes him feel better, he doesn't know.

At his comment, Varian's gaze drops downwards, brow furrowing.]

Well, yeah, I was afraid. My best friend had died, it was all my fault and I was freaking out. I was terrified.

He's a fire wolf.

[As if that explains everything.

Fern anxiously grips his arm with his hand, over his antler tattoo.]

Not about that. Well - yeah, about that, but the stuff you did after. Or - what you didn't do. [Get it together, Fern, geez.] He said you didn't tell anyone because you were afraid of what people would do if they found out. And that you told Ruby because - [Ugh, he's pulling out his Fluid so he can just read what Maul said. Reducing her down to some abstract concept is easier than trying to anything nice about her in his own words.] - 'when people are scared, they turn to what they see as familiar.'

[There. His anger is flaring up, but the candle is burning away now, filling most of the treehouse with a calmness that helps his volatile mental state.]

[A fire wolf. Right. Of course he is.

Varian listens, his arms folded, trying not to panic. Strangely, he does feel a lot calmer than he expected. He hasn't put two and two together yet to realise its the candle that's doing this. He doesn't interrupt, he lets Fern have his say, brow furrowed.]

Yeah, Maul got that right on the money. I mean, c'mon, there's a reason only three people here know my past. I- I don't want people to think I'm a monster again...or- or know the truth that I'm a monster, I guess. It scares me to think people might know that.

[It's lying, it's lying to other people and it's lying to himself, he knows. But it's a pantomime he keeps up anyway. He knows Fern hates Ruby, hates talking about her- and know that eventually, he's going to have to tell his friend how that particular relationship has developed. But not yet.]

Ruby's just... safe for me. And that's not to say you aren't, because you are. But you were dead. I couldn't go to you for comfort. I fi could have, I would. It isn't about a competition between you two. I just... needed to not be alone.

I get that. I should've gotten it then, but I get that now. You're still the only one here who knows about what happened with me and Finn.

[Saying that aloud makes him feel - not like total hypocritical garbage, thanks to the candle - foolish for not catching on when he should have known better. He shifts a little, then moves to sit down on the floor, back against the wall and legs pulled up to his chest.]

I didn't tell anyone you had anything to do with it.

[What he wants to say next is anxiety-inducing, so he just repeats to himself. It wasn't about them not actually being friends, it was just a failure on his part. That's an easier pill to swallow than abandonment.]

I'm sorry I was the reason you felt like you had to go to her. I should've done better. [Shouldn't have gone and died like a loser.] I'm sorry I wasn't there for you.

Edited 2020-05-09 23:19 (UTC)

...It's fine. You'd literally just come back to life. It'd be understandable for anyone to be really stressed out then.

[He doesn't blame Fern for lashing out. He hasn't come back from the dead himself here, he can only imagine how terrifying it is- and how awful it would feel that your friend never even thought to tell your loved ones what happened. ]

I should have got over my own issues and spoke to your friends. I'm sorry that I didn't. If I could take it back, I would.

[Which is... pretty much the tagline of his existence. Regrets. Wishing he could turn the clock back.]

It's not your fault you died, Fern. That... wasn't in your power. It wasn't about doing better, you... literally couldn't have done any more.

... Thanks.

[Though he doesn't want to be in this situation at all, he's relieved to hear that apology. He exhales slowly, grateful for it. It means that he was completely wrong before, which is great. Varian isn't just letting him hang around for no reason, he actually cares.]

I could've been smarter. About everything.

[He's been a failure as a knight, a failure as a friend. If he gave it more thought he'd probably find some way he was a failure as a... grass-whatever.

He scratches his jagged fingers against his knees, looking at them instead of Varian.]

I care about you a lot, Varian. I don't want you to have to rely on her all the time when things get hard.

[His chest tightens as he continues.]

A few weeks ago you were asking me who I want to be. I think I want to be that kind of person for you.

Well, I think we could have both been smarter. I could have maybe not opened up and read the cursed decay book.

[He knew better, he's dealt with cursed bullshit back home and his guard should have been up. But it wasn't. And his friend died for it. He offers Fern a small, fleeting smile.]

I care about you a lot too. I meant it when I said you were the best friend I've ever had. You're the only person I've met who understands my whole... mess.

[Ruby is endlessly supportive and he is so very thankful for that- but she's not been to the same dark place he and Fern have. And he's glad of that. He'd never wish it on her. ]

Well- that's- that's good. I mean, yeah. I'd really like it to have you in my corner. I've got faith you can do that. And hopefully, I can be in your corner for you, too.

[He hesitates, giving a small nod. They could probably argue over taking the blame all day, so both of them accepting it is the best either of them can hope for. They both screwed up, and now they can both start moving forward together.

What has him relaxing is what Varian says next. He wasn't sure what to expect, and when he's uncertain his mind has a tendency to go to the worst place imaginable, so this is like a huge weight lifting off his shoulders.

He cares, too.

He looks up at Varian, returning the smile. After a beat he drags himself onto his feet, stepping closer.]

I'd like that. I'd like that a lot. [And he's pulling Varian into a hug. A very tightly clinging kind of hug.]

Edited 2020-05-10 01:50 (UTC)

[Meeting halfway is probably the best course of action for them. They're both bloody-minded enough to argue about who has to shoulder the blame for the next forever- best to meet in the middle here.

He's been so worried about how this conversation would go- all his self-loathing and panic churning away in his chest. He still wasn't completely certain this would end well. After all, this wouldn't be the first time he completely tanked a friendship with his own bad judgement calls.

But then Fern steps in to hug him and a little of that worry seeps away. He returns it, unhesitatingly, a tight, solid hug. Maybe, maybe things won't be so terrible for a change. ]

I've missed you, Bud.

Same.

[The last several days have been horrendously awful, no doubt compounded by his whole deathflu symptoms. It all coalesced into one big gut-wrenching mass of emotional devastation that even the idea of things repeating themselves is terrifying. Really, really terrifying, and he clutches Varian a little tighter.]

I'm not gonna let this happen again. [For once, there's no self-doubt creeping into his head when he says that. Thanks, candle.] I don't want to lose you.

[That's probably the scariest thing out of all of this, he's realizing. Not the fighting, or all the anger and hurt, or even the resulting spiraling mental state. Losing Varian.]

I'm, uh, not exaggerating when I say I care about you.

[This... is a new emotion for Varian. Admittedly, he's had his found family back home tell him how important he is to them, how much they treasure having him around. But he's always had that slight sliver of fear that all it would take was one more screw up and they'd be done with him for good. Deep down, he knows that's not the case- but you can't shake fears like that so easily.

And yet, when Fern says I don't want to lose you. He believes it. Wholeheartedly. Which... is probably dangerous and stupid and will absolutely come back to bite him one day, but he believes it anyway. Believes in Fern.]

I know. [He tries and fails to keep the waver out of his voice as he leans into the hug.] I don't want to lose you either. And... and I know. You matter a lot to me. I know you sometimes think you don't, but I promise that you do to me. You always will. And you know I don't make promises lightly.

[Because of... the whole everything back home. Broken promises are the worst. He doesn't make them if he can't keep them. ]

[Fern is just taking this lack of insecurity for as long as he can get it. He can worry about it coming back later when the candle is out, right now he wants to focus on here and now and the rare opportunity of clarity going on his head.]

I believe you. And I promise, too. Even if we have more stupid fights, those aren't gonna change how I feel about you.

[Because let's be honest, they're both stubborn teenage boys with a boatload of problems stuck in Helltown. Fights and disagreements not occasionally breaking out would be weird.

He pulls back just enough so that he can look Varian in the eye. A little embarrassed (greener than before), but happy.]

I'm not good at saying this kind of stuff, but I'm - I'm really glad that I mean that much to you, too. I don't usually feel this way about other people, y'know?

I think those stupid fights are pretty inevitable. We're both... pretty much disasters there.

[Because, yes, stubborn teenagers with more baggage than a Boeing 747. It was an inevitability. Varian offers him a smile, genuine - a little more gentle than his usual brand. ]

I know, I get it. I... uh I can suck at it sometimes, too. But it's okay. I understand.

[He brightens, remembering, pulling back (absolutely missing that Fern's greener than before- it's fine, he's probably just photosynthesising or something) and rummaging in his backpack, pulling out a book- offering it over to Fern.]

So, the full set of these showed up in my blessings basket the other day. I wanted to offer them to you first to read. It's the first book in the Flynnegan Rider series. [He shrugs, suddenly awkward.] I-uh. I thought it might help keep you entertained. While you're still feeling sick.

[Thank Glob they're on the same page about that. It'll make making up after fights a lot easier.

Fern drops his hands, rubbing the back of his head. This... really could not have gone any better, and that never happens in his life. It's nice to get a break, for once.

He blinks at the book that's presented to him.]

Really? [Oh heck he remembers the conversation they had about these, this is awesome. He takes the book, looking it over.]

Dude, sweet! I'll take good care of it. Hey, if you're gonna let me borrow this -

[He tucks the book under one arm, going over to a pile of junk with a couple paperbacks stacked on top. He grabs the top one and holds it out.]

Kurt probably won't mind if you borrow this one. It's for younger kids, but it's still pretty fun.

[He got Fern interested in a book and he's going to take that as a personal win, thanks. He takes the proffered book in return, smiling happily. He's never seen anything like this before. He flicked through some pages and finds the chapters all over the place. Wow, what. ]

Is... is it some sort of puzzle book? Are you supposed to line the chapters up so they flow right?

[Welcome to the best kind of book ever, Varian.]

Sorta. You start off at chapter one, and it ends with different choices you can make. Depending on what you want to do you skip to a specific chapter, and the story keeps going until you hit an ending.

[He stands back up.]

You read 'em more than once to go through all the paths.

[His mind is officially blown!!]

Oh, wow! So it's like you have multiple stories all in one book? That's so cool!

[He's gonna love this so much and probably make terrible choices and die at least five times. ]

Thanks, Fern. I'll make sure to take care of this, too. I'll keep it away from the chemicals and everything.

[There's another thing he needs to talk to Fern about, but he's definitely stalling on it. He doesn't want to hide anything from Fern. Not now- but hoo boy, this will not go down well and he's honestly just enjoying being able to talk to his friend again. ]

[It would not be a Choose Your Own Adventure novel if you did not die at least five times. Fern is just glad Varian thinks they're cool, when he first learned about them he was amazed.

He's also completely clueless, because as far as he knows things are just peachy. Better than that, even, because those were some heartfelt admissions that didn't completely crash and burn for either of them, and there was reciprocation, and nobody got hurt.

He's just happy, right now.]

Cool. And if you wind up liking it, I'll even go with you to the library to look for more.

[Yeah, that's right, the library.]

[Okay, that gets a proper laugh out of him.]

Oh man, I should have had my Fluid out on that to record you saying you would willingly step into the library. Darn it, I'm just gonna have to hold you to your word without the proof.

[He's gonna get Fern into the library and it's gonna be fuckin' magical. Of course, it wouldn't be Varian if he didn't somehow find a way to douse of the flames of happiness a little bit. There's always something lurking in the background with this guy. He drums his fingers on the book nervously. ]

Um. So. It's...not a big deal...like, yet? It might not ever be, I don't know. But in the interest of full disclosure, I want to tell you something. It's about Ruby. And I know, I know you can't stand her. And it's not about like... I don't know- a compeition or anything. I'm not aiming to hurt you, I just... don't want you to hear it from someone else and think I've been purposefully hiding stuff from you. I guess... being honest means sometimes you've gotta hear stuff you don't want to hear, right?

...Also you're literally the first person to hear this from me so. You know. There's that.

Edited 2020-05-11 17:24 (UTC)

[Pfft, he grins back.]

Guess you're just gonna have to trust me.

[Which, hey, seems like an appropriate thing to say right now.

Of course a second later his smile drops, because why are they talking about Ruby again? What does she have to do with anything? They've talked it all out and things are good now, so he doesn't see any reason for her to come up.]

Uh, that doesn't sound good.

[That, in fact, sounds very very bad. He gives the candle a side glance, glad it's still going.]

I think I can manage that.

[Oh no, he's already regretting this. He rubs the back of his neck, clearing his throat. This is... well, he's pretty sure this is something you should be happy to tell your best friend about. It's good news? But Fern's always been so weird about Ruby, he doesn't want to make it worse. ]

I- I mean, it's not bad? Depending on how you look at it. I- I mean, I'm pretty happy? And I know that it... might not make you happy? Because of... the whole... anger towards her and everything. [Holy shit this is why he doesn't talk to people, this is exactly why he doesn't talk to people. People are hard work. Raccoons are so much easier.] So...um. I-I don't know if you noticed... or .. not but I've had a pretty big crush on her for... a while. And- I-I guess we finally talked that out and she feels the same? So... I don't know. It's not a big thing yet, just... the start of a thing

[Because they're both awkward turtles and haven't got a tiny clue what they're doing.]

So... yeah. But I don't know, I guess it's something you tell your best friend? Pretty sure? Lance and Eugene talk about Rapunzel a lot and they're like... my examples here, I'm not exactly used to this myself. And I - I don't want you to think I'm gonna like ignore you or anything. It doesn't have to be able who's the best or... whatever. You just both mean a lot to me in different ways and oh wow I- I've been talking a lot so I'm just gonna... stop. With the talking.

Edited 2020-05-11 17:56 (UTC)

[Fern just stares at Varian, dead silent as he takes all of this in.]

[And then he just, awkwardly grins a little.]

Hah hah, I know we're cool now, but I think it's kinda early to be joking about stuff like that.

[Because that's obviously what this is. After everything they just said, there's no way Varian is being serious.]

[Varian was expecting yelling. A lot of yelling. He'd braced himself for yelling. But then...that didn't happen. Fern met his admittance with denial and that only raised confusion in him.]

Um. I- I'm not? [Nothing in his face suggests he's lying... though, of course, Fern knows Varian is an exceptionally good liar. This time, however, it's all truth. Cards on the table.]

It's - true? Like. We talked a few days ago.

[Oh. He is serious. Well then.

His smile fades again, and it's only by the saving grace of the candle that he isn't having a complete and total emotional meltdown. That letter wasn't lying when it said the flame prevents mental anguish, because Fern is feeling nothing like that.]

Wh - but -

[What happiness he felt before is dying away, and without any negative emotions able to take over he's left with a significant hollow space inside of himself. That, and confusion.]

What about - you said -

[He keeps on faltering. They had just said - a lot of things. Things that go beyond friendship and crushes. So why is he following all of that with... this?

As he keeps on staring at Varian, the grass making up his body twitches and shifts.]

I don't understand.

[Confusion spread across Varian's face- genuine, unfiltered confusion. He didn't think anything he said to Fern was out of place. Heck, most of Rapunzel's Deep Motivational Friendship Talks run much like that. If anything, he was only putting what she taught him into practice.

But now he feels like he's misstepped somehow. Got it wrong. He knows he's not great at it, but things seemed to be genuinely okay for a second there. So, naturally, he misunderstand's Fern's meaning. ]

Fern, I meant what I said. You really are my best friend. You really do mean a lot to me. Me and Ruby and... and whatever that's going to be doesn't change that. I- I mean, you can have a best friend and... well. [He and Ruby aren't even at a point where they have a label for it yet. ] They don't have to be mutually exclusive.

[He rubs the back of his neck, perplexed. ]

Sorry. I just... wanted to be honest with you. I don't want you to think I was hiding anything from you.

Edited 2020-05-11 19:19 (UTC)

[Varian's first few words reach Fern's ears, but he's slowly tuned out and after another round of best friend his voice is more like a dull buzz going on in the background than anything he's actively listening to.

This wasn't what they were talking about. He's sure it wasn't. Maybe if the candle hadn't been lit he'd have been hit with a tidal wave of self-doubt, but that isn't the case right now. His head is clearer than it's been in a long time, and he knows they had been on the same page. So why this... backtracking? Is this backtracking? What even is this? Is this some normal thing humans do with each other?

He isn't sure, he's never talked about relationships with anyone before. All he's going off of is the memories of Finn's experience with Flame Princess, the awkward admission and all the fighting and hurting each other until there was eventually one tiny connection that grew into something bigger. This is nothing like that, though, and Fern is realizing he'd probably have better luck if Varian was literally made out of fire.

As it is he's just... lost. This is unexplored territory, and he needs to do something. But as soon as that candle goes out he's going to do whatever his emotions want, which is going to mean massive, massive mistakes, so he needs to figure this out right now.

This is a problem that needs to be solved. That's - that's all it is. A problem. He's solved problems before, he's dedicated himself to Paimon and beat up the Grassy Wizard and slew Orgalorg and cut off the Lich's hand before he could kill Jake and he killed the Fear Feaster and scared Bandit Princess off and saved Finn from Susan -

This is just another problem he needs to solve, so he can help Finn.]

... Okay.

[He blinks, and his normally green eyes have gone yellow and catlike. His grass rustles again, and there's a whistle in the air as a sword forms in his hand.]

Where is she?

[The candle probably saves a lot of Varian's anxiety that would otherwise be spiking right now. Clearly, cleary he's said something very wrong. Again. Just once, he'd like a conversation with Fern not to end in a complete and utter mess. Just once. Things had been going so well. Should he have not mentioned Ruby? as she always going to be some variable that triggered Fern's anger? Should he maybe not speak about either of them to the other for... the rest of time?

...That seems like it'd get real exhausting, real fast.

Oh. Those eyes are not good. And the sword even less so. Nope. Fucking nope ]

Wait you want to stab her again? Because of this? Fern, no. [The candle keeps his anger down, too. Probably for the best.] Look, I get that you don't like her, but you're just gonna have to accept both of you exist in my life and it would be way less stressful for me if you didn't want to kill her all the damn time.

[Jesus, is this how he used to be? So full of rage and spite that killing was the only recourse left? He doesn't like that though. Not one bit.]

Just... put the sword down, Fern.

[Nope. His head still feels nice and clear, and this is obviously the best option available. Of course, he'll have to time it so the Authority either doesn't find out, or take her out to the other forest where they can't be found. And make sure she stays dead, but if he needs to kill her over and over that's fine. He can do that.

All his planning is rolling smoothly through his head and he doesn't even answer Varian at first, just looks at him with impatience when he doesn't hear an answer to his question. Then he turns to head to the door, opening it with his free hand.]

Don't worry about it. I'm going to solve everyone's problems.

[Okay, this is going... super not well. Varian has a split second to make a decision, and usually, he makes the wrong one. This time, though, there's only one choice he does have- and that's to reach out and grab Fern's arm. The one holding the sword. ]

Fern, no.

[The candle is still tempering everything, but there's a sharpness to his tone that's been absent before- even when they fought. It's not like the fear or betrayal that was there before. There's something else. A shadow of a shadow of what he once was.]

This isn't going to solve anyone's problems but yours. Do you think I want you to- to, what? Go out there and kill her? Do you think for one second I could even look you in the eye again after doing that?

[His hand tightens, just a notch. Things had been going well, their friendship had been mended. He'd do just about anything to keep it that way. But not this. This is where he's drawing a damn hard line. ]

You had a lot of talk about being a good friend, but do you think killing someone I care about because- because I don't know, you think somehow you've got to beat her at being important to me- is being a good friend? Because it's not. She's got enough things to deal with without having to add you to the mix.

[Neo was a constant threat, a real risk to Ruby's life. But he'd never truly believed Fern would be capable of this until right now. Despite everything. Despite their mutual monstrous pasts, he never, ever thought Fern would cross this line.]

Don't do this. Don't make me have to try to stop you. Please.

[Fern pauses as Varian's fingers close around his arm, and he glances downwards, his strategizing put on hold. He doesn't want to hurt Varian, even though that would make things a lot simpler that would also wind up hurting himself. So he pauses, lifting his gaze back up to look at the other boy.

No, not at him. Through him. The consequences of his plan beyond how it'll affect the Finn part of him are going in one ear and out the other. There's more talk about friendship, which this isn't, and Ruby having problems he could care less about. It'll help Finn, so he just tugs his arm away and heads out the door, not realizing the five foot limit for the candle is the threshold.

He steps out onto the porch, and in an instant is hit with everything the candle had been keeping at bay. The anger, the confusion, the frustration. The despair at being rejected. But above all of that is the realization of what he's doing, what he is: a complete and total failure.

Fern staggers and then stops, his grass giving a violent twitch at the return of his, as the letter put it, mental anguish. It doesn't stop trembling as he grabs his head, then looks down at his sword. He still understands why he's formed it, but as he stares down at it sinks in just how much Varian would hate him if he went through with this. As much as he hates Ruby, and as happy as he would be if she were dead, there's no way it can be at the cost of Varian.]

I... I don't believe this.

[All the fight goes out of him as he sinks down to his knees.]

[As Fern pushed through, stepped into the porch, Varian felt his heart leap into his throat. He didn't want this to become a fight, he didn't want to lose Fern again after just getting him back. But he couldn't let Fern kill Ruby, either. That would be something he absolutely couldn't live with. Completely and categorically.

So when he steps out, he's got one of his alchemy balls in his hand- he left his staff at home, thinking he wouldn't need it- now he regrets that action. Regardless- he steps out, shoulder tensed, ready to lob the goddamn thing- it's not one that would hurt Fern, it's just a sticky trap, But needs must.

Fern stops for himself though, sinking down to his knees. Varian fights the urge to sink down with him, remaining standing, tense, on guard. They'd built their bridges back today, but this head put a strain on them. He's not ready to let his guard down again yet. He doesn't let go of the ball as he moves to stand across from Fern on the porch, everything in his stance coiled and unsettled. ]

This has to stop, Fern. [Despite the tenseness of his body, his voice is tired. ] I'm not- I'm not asking you to like her, heck, I'm not asking you to like that we're together. But you need to stop treating her like she's a threat. Because she's not. I'm still here. But I can't keep excusing you deciding her life is forfeit.

[He pinches the bridge of his nose with the thumb and forefinger of his free hand. He's so goddamn tired. This is feeling too much like Cassandra again. Trying to pull her from that precipice and failing. This is so damn difficult. ]

Please. Whatever this beef is? Just... stop.

[About the only thing Fern hears out of all of that is we're together. The rest is just that buzz again, this time accompanied by what feels like his metaphorical guts twisting themselves into a knot. It's more painful than a lot of the injuries he ever suffered as Finn.

He doesn't bother saying anything to Varian. His sword retreats back into his hand, so that he has bother of them free to rub against the tears forming in his eyes.]

Even when I know I'm doing the right thing I fail. I'm just a huge loser.

[That's... really the conclusion he can make here. He says all the right things, he does all the right things, he even feels all the right things, for once, and at the end of the day nothing changes. That was the closest he felt to being normal in years, and he couldn't even manage it. He's still a failure, still a screw-up, still a loser who can't do anything right.]

I was better off as swords.

[Varian still has no idea what's bothering Fern here. What misstep he made that turned him from someone recognisably his friend again- where everything was better and good... to this. He understands only too well it doesn't take much. He knows that Fern isn't anywhere near the point he is, in trying to fix himself. But he still doesn't get it.

He sighs, pocketing the alchemy ball and moving to sit down across from him, legs crossed. ]

I don't think you were better off as swords. And I don't think you're a loser.

[He taps his fingers on his knee, trying to puzzle out where things went wrong. This is so much easier with chemicals than it is with people. He can cut out variables with relative simplicity. People aren't like chemicals (despite being made of chemicals, he thinks- no, not now) they're complicated and their issues are intertwined and you can't just pick them apart. ]

Fern. What was all that about? Help me understand here. I thought things were okay? I- I don't get it. Was it something I did? I want to help, but I can't help if I don't understand what's going on. C'mon. Cards on the table. Like we promised.

[The one thing he's grateful to have inherited from Finn is that he rarely starts bawling. Crying, sure, and he keeps on wiping away the tears well up in his eyes. But he doesn't start sobbing like some little kid. That would just be embarrassing, on top of everything else.

He glances up at Varian, his insecurities and self-loathing not letting him believe that. He's nothing but a loser, this whole day has made that abundantly clear.]

I... I thought things were okay, too. Better than okay.

[Fern sorely wishes he could breathe right now. He misses drawing in deep breaths, the feeling of a weight being lifted off of his chest when he does it. He can't, now, and he's stuck with nothing but his agitation.

Part of him doesn't believe what he's hearing. After everything they said to each other, he doesn't believe that Varian could act so - so clueless. Still, he doesn't see any other options. If he can't go and kill Ruby, then all he can do is try again.]

I meant everything I said before. I like you. A lot. More.... more than I like my other friends.

[Here we go, putting himself out there, building himself up. The only difference is this time he knows he's just going to get hurt again.]

I don't know what I am to you. You're more than a friend to me.

But... they are? Aren't they?

[That was a Grade A Friendship Talk. It's the sort Rapunzel would be proud of. That sort of thing never came so easily to him, so he'd been a little proud he'd managed to pull it off. But clearly something went wrong because everything's a mess again.

Maybe he really is just destined to suck at friendship forever. Sometimes the idea of holing himself in a cave someone like Demanitus did seems like a very worthwhile plan. Flawless. But then Fern keeps talking and Varian looks more and more confused. He'd been expecting Fern to tell him where he'd gone wrong- what social cue he missed or otherwise steamrolled over.

He wasn't expecting this. ]

[You're more than a friend to me

Sorry Fern. Give him a second. He's just gonna stare into space and just-

After a few moments of internal processing coming up empty, he gives up.]

...But- but you're a-a guy?

I- I mean.

[Fern had said to him, back when he first got here and worked out his Staggr that the "interested in section had meant if you were into girls or guys. He hadn't thought about it a whole lot then. He'd just swept it under the rug. And Fern had told him he'd had girlfriends before.

But then if he were honest with himself Cassandra had only been his first real person crush. His boyhood delight of Flynn Rider and the obsessive need to collect things for a man who didn't actually exist was... a little more than admiration. You don't keep locks of hair of people you admire after all. And hell. It wasn't like he hadn't seen this back home before. Everyone saw how Cassandra looked at Rapunzel. Except... probably Rapunzel.

He's just staring at the ground having a quiet internal panic attack because he guesses he learned something new about himself today and that's a whole... thing. How was that a thing. How did he miss that thing. Was this always a thing??! ]

[Eventually, he manages to pull himself out of his panicked self-realisation spiral to remember Fern is still sitting there. After pouring his heart out to him, and oh. Oh geez. Confusion gives away to a touch of sadness. Maybe a different time, a different shuffle of the cards. He rubs the back of his neck, heaving out a shuddery breath. Wow, Okay. Yeah. That's- that's sure a thing. ]

Oh... okay. That's- this is a lot for me to process.

[He definately should have gone with the cave idea.]

I'm uh.. I don't know. It's- it's nice to know? I... yeah. Maybe in a different time... I don't know. I'm not- I'm not really sure about almost anything right now.

[He's never had anyone tell him they have feelings for him in his entire life and now there's two of them at once. Like. Is the universe laughing at him? Is that what this is? That he has to hurt someone he cares about because of this. He ruffles his hair, trying to displace the growing anxiety. He's never had to turn anyone down before. He honestly never thought he'd have ONE person give a shit about him enough to want to be with him, let alone two. He has no damn idea what he's doing. ]

I- I'm sorry, Fern. You mean the world to me, I... I wasn't lying when I said that. You really are the best friend I've ever had, but- but that's where it stops. And it's not because you're not good enough or... I don't know. Geeze, I don't know how to put this. I just don't feel the same way. I'm sorry, though. Like... really, really sorry. I didn't realise.

[Fern isn't sure what to expect here, and but you're a guy is so far down the list that he's stunned. That kind of thing has never been a big deal in Ooo in general, and Finn was always staunchly of the opinion that people should be able to be with whoever (or whatever) they want. Honestly, he would've thought the whole grass thing would be a bigger barrier than being a guy.

It doesn't really matter in the end, though. He sits there listening to Varian stumble through a rejection that manages to be even worse than Flame Princess's.

Of course. This is the only real outcome that could have happened. He's a failure, and a loser, and rejection is the only thing he should ever expect out of life. There way no other way this could have ended. He gets that. He got to be so much more as Finn, and even as the swords, but that isn't how Fern's existence can ever play out. He's going to be a loser until he stops existing.

It still hurts. It feels like his chest is caving in on itself, and he doesn't say anything to Varian as he just shifts, sitting down properly on the porch so that he can hug his legs to his chest and drop his forehead onto his knees. From his calves and ankles roots reflexively slither out, causing some of the porch's wood to crack as they burrow into it.]

Edited 2020-05-12 18:56 (UTC)

[Varian knew Fern could have reacted to this any number of ways. Fern was pretty unpredictable by nature. Hell, a part of him was prepared to stop him going after Ruby again. Shutting down isn't... ideal, but it's also not the worst way, either.

Varian heaves out a sigh, staying where he is, still sitting, but giving Fern his space, too. He almost reaches out to touch him, but then thinks better of it, folding his arms together instead. This sucked. Emotions sucked. Being a teenager was the worst. ]

...I'm so sorry. [And his tone is honest. Real. He truly is sorry. ] The last thing I've ever wanted to do is hurt you and it's what I keep doing. I- I guess I really am a pretty terrible friend.

[Nothing new there, really. He's just going to repeat the same mistakes forever.]

Maybe if things had been different... I don't know. You never know. I just- I'm sorry. And I can understand if this has destroyed what friendship we have left. I mean, I don't want that, at all. Not ever. B... but I understand.

[He doesn't know what else to say, how to fix this. He doesn't think it can be fixed.]

...Do- do you want me to go?

[Fern remains dead silent and still, an easy feat to accomplish when you don't need to breathe. It isn't even clear if he's listening at this point, since he doesn't give Varian any kind of acknowledgement that he has.

He isn't. He's folded up inside himself, just listening to the self-loathing that's playing on repeat in his head.]

[A little frustration blooms in his chest- at Fern shutting him out completely. At not even giving him an answer. He instantly feels guilty for the emotion, to add to the pile of guilt digging into his chest already. This is what he does. He just destroys people. He's terrible.

He considers just... going, but he doesn't. Because he can make a damn solid guess about what Fern's doing to himself. If he was left alone like this... well, like he was once upon a time, things went bad real fast. Worse. So he stays put. ]

You're not gonna believe me and you're probably not even listening to me, so if I'm speaking into the void... whatever. This isn't on you. It's- it's not your fault. Just so you're aware.

[He sighs, moving slightly so he's still sitting, leaning against the barrier of the treehouse. ]

I'm just... gonna stick around so you're not alone. No talking needed. You're welcome to push me off if it makes you feel better. [He cranes his neck, hmmm.] Though please aim for the bush.

Edited 2020-05-12 21:00 (UTC)

[Fern still doesn't move, doesn't give any indication he's more than a person-shaped shrub. He stays that way for a full hour, just sitting there, wallowing in his misery. It's a harsh pulse against his nonexistent eardrums, over the course of the hour getting louder and louder.

He's never been good at being Fern, whoever that is. He knows that. For a split second with Varian he thought things had changed, but he was mistaken. He isn't any good at this. He isn't any good at - existing. Being a person. Being swords had been fine.

Being swords had been more than fine. Both of those swords had a purpose, were (mostly) appreciated by their owner. Both were good at what they did, and he wants to go back to that. He wants to go back to feeling like he belonged in the same existence as everyone else, instead of some abomination that's somehow managed to jam itself into reality. Like a two-dimensional cut-out trying to live in a three-dimensional world.

He wants to be swords again.

That thought settles down in his mind, coats it like a sticky webbing, letting him come to a realization after a time. He might not be able to do that but something else might be an option. At the very least, it'll make him feel better.

It's his roots that move first, twitching and retracting back into his legs as he abruptly stands. He doesn't pay Varian any mind as he moves over to the edge of the porch and hops off. He lands hard on the ground, then sets off towards the nearest bus stop.]

[Varian is at least, patient here. He's not always the best at it- he has too much nervous energy for that- but wait he does. Mostly churning in his head everything that's been said to him. There's still so much for him to get his mind around. There's a lot of self-realisation here and that's taking the forefront. There's also the panic that Fern has feelings for him and he has no idea how to process that.

Not well, clearly, given how everything is going right now. He doesn't know how to make it better, though. He doesn't know how to make it all make sense in his head. He just... doesn't get it. It was hard enough accepting Ruby had feelings for him, two people is... near impossible.

Does no one realise what a mess he is? He might be keeping a lot of his past secret, but both Fern and Ruby know who he was, what he did. They know he's not the safe bet by any means. And yet, here they are. He doesn't understand why they do this to themselves.

Fern stands and Varian stands with him. He doesn't think Fern is a threat to anyone any more (or at least he hopes not) but the boy might well be a threat to himself. And if he got himself hurt or killed because of this, because of what he's said... Varian doesn't think he could carry that. That's a weight too heavy. So he follows, silently, keeping about a few feet apart, brow furrowed in worry. ]

[Fern at least has a goal in mind right, and that has to be better than wallowing in his own misery. He ignores Varian's movement that he catches out of the corner of his eye, still intent on shutting him out. He can't deal with him right now, he honestly doesn't know what he'll do if he tries, so he focuses instead on the one thing that still feels like it's within his grasp.

He doesn't go into town. At the edge of the forest he turns and heads to a bus stop, stopping and waiting there for that weird massive cat to arrive. While he's waiting a sword forms in one of his hands, and after he's entered the bus and sat down all he does is stare down at it with a hard glare. It's a comforting weight to him, like a limb he's lost that's returned.

When they arrive at the forest Fern steps off the catbus and immediately heads into the trees, ignoring whether Varian is still following him. At this point it's clear he's intending to hunt down something, and it doesn't really matter what. The giant snake is preferable since the spiders still wig him out, but at this point he just needs to hurt something and those two things are the safest option.

It isn't spiders or snakes that he comes across, though. After several minutes of walking a soft laughter can be heard through the trees, lilting and pretty. Fern heads in that direction, hoping whatever that is, it's something he can go after.

Eventually the trees open to a small clearing, and sitting there is a... woman? What? She's looking over at the two of them, still giggling.]

[He's already leagues ahead of Varian's usual coping mechanisms. Varian's a damn good wallower- which is probably for the best. It's when he stops wallowing that things start to get dangerous for other people. It's likely that thought which keeps Varian following Fern.

Though, admittedly, he's less worried about other people and more worried about what Fern will do to himself. He's not thrilled to be back in the forest- he's nearly bit it a couple of times in here already, after all. He follows close behind still, right up until the giggling. And the weird woman. Varian stares at her for a moment, then looks at Fern.

It's enough for him to finally break the silence that's been hanging over them like a shroud for well over an hour.]

...Well, that's not creepy at all.

Edited 2020-05-14 22:11 (UTC)

[If Fern felt like he could even acknowledge Varian right now he'd agree. The forest is already a place heavy on magic and danger, so even though this lady appears normal to him he's wary. His gut is right on the money too, because as he takes a few steps closer her giggling stops. She shifts, then she extends.

As she moves her antennae are revealed, along with chitinous segments more reminiscent of a bug than a human body. It almost looks like she's standing but no, she's stretching, still looking at them, and in a split second she's lunging in their direction with an absolutely baffling amount of speed.

Fern isn't expecting that, and barely manages to dive out of the way, into a roll that leaves him down on one knee, clutching his sword tightly.]

Ten on the doom scale!!!

[Varian will provide some colour commentary if Fern participates or not. It's just how he rolls. He gets the hell out of the way when she lunges, already pulling out a sticky bomb- launching at her to keep at least a few of those awfully spindly legs in place- she's still got PLENTY of reach, though as she stretches out and sweeps his feet out from under him as he tries to bolt to a safer distance. ]

[If this stupid centipede was just a little slower Fern would be snapping that the sassy commentary isn't helping, along with a few other choice words about being followed when he wants to be alone and following him into what is obviously an incredibly dangerous situation is a real boneheaded move when he isn't even a fighter, but -

Okay, that's more than a few words. And Fern doesn't have any time to think about any of that anyways, because that centipede-woman is dangerous. She's way too fast for a lone human to take out head-on, and as he watches her knock Varian off his feet she snarls and lunges.

He slams into the centipede, interrupting her attack. She's still too quick though, catching herself with her legs and skittering out of range of his sword before he can get a hit in.]

[Is Varian even slightly sorry that he's here? No, he absolutely isn't. Still, he'd rather not die by creepy bug lady- that would be a pretty awful way to go. So he's glad Fern is around to at least stop her from doing that.

Though Fern might not have managed to get a good hit in, the distraction is enough for him to sit up, grabbing an ice bomb from his pack and tossing it her way. One half of her body freezes up - from the way she's screeching and struggling, it's not going to hold forever, but at least it should give Fern an opening.

Yay teamwork? ]

[Teamwork! That ice makes Fern's life infinitely easier. He sees the opening Varian gives him and doesn't hesitate to take it. His feelings right now doesn't matter, getting rid of the thing trying to kill them is.

He gets in close, at first trying to drive his sword directly into her for a quick killing blow. That... doesn't go so well, her shell covering is harder than steel and his blade bounces off.

Okay, fine. Plan B. He barely avoids an attempt from her to chomp down on his head, the ice keeping her (mostly) still starting to crack.]

Get more bombs ready!

[He needs her still so he can get a hit in, though he knows he can help a little with that. His next strike is aimed at where one her legs connects to her body, slicing cleanly through the opening between her shell-like armour.

Great, that works, so he ducks and dodges, trying to cut off a few more legs. She can't move if she doesn't have legs left to move with, right?]

[Varian winces as Fern's attempt at a killing blow doesn't work. Damnit, of course.]

The carapace is too tough. [Thank you, captain obvious. ] Let me see if I can weaken it. You- you might wanna stand back.

[He grabs two bombs and hurls the first at her chest. Once again, ice blooms across it, freezing her in place- almost immediately after, Varian hurls some Flynnoleium at it. The resulting explosion is... quite the thing, and while impressive, it doesn't do a lot of damage- but it does, at least, create a crack in her armour- not a lot, but maybe enough for Fern to work with.]

[Fern nods and quickly backs off, giving the centipede a few haphazard swipes with his sword to ensure her attention stays on him to make sure Varian has enough time to do his alchemy.

... And he hates to admit it, but he's totally impressed at how cool that explosion is. It makes his insides twist a little, and he has to push that feeling down to focus on the fight. When he sees the crack in her carapace he lunges in, slamming his blade into the opening. The centipede screeches as he cuts into her heart, and in her death throes she uses two remaining legs to shred into Fern's shoulder.

But it isn't enough, they've got her. She wails a few moments later, and collapses onto the ground. Removing his sword, Fern stumbles backward, keeping an eye on her body just in case this is a fakeout.]

[Varian is honestly glad it worked- as with most of his inventions, it was very fifty-fifty if it would fail completely. It worked better than he expected, even. He watches Fern finish off the centipede- impressed by the skill as he always is.

But then she injures Fern in her death throes and nothing else matters any more. He quickly moves over to Fern's side- not really caring how Fern reacts to it. If he lashes out, so be it. ]

Your shoulder- are you okay?

[Fern is grateful it worked as well. That thing was fast and he still isn't anywhere near one hundred percent thanks to the death flu. Despite coming out here to specifically fight something, he's glad it wasn't drawn out.

... Still, he didn't get the satisfaction he usually does when he wins a fight. Probably because he couldn't do it own his own, he needed help from the person he wants to be far, far away from.

He tenses and looks away when Varian approaches.]

I'm fine.

[He isn't, obviously. He shoulder is a mess and now that they're out of danger his body is twitching and trembling with the strain of keeping him together.]

[Varian's brows knit together as he fights the urge to roll his eyes. He steps a little closer, eyeing up that wound.]

Yeah, I don't know if you think I'm suddenly blind or something, but you this is obviously not fine. You're hurt. So- what can I do to help it? And don't say "nothing" or do that shutting me out thing because I am so past being in the mood for that.

[Farn could have got himself killed and that... well, that's a thought that hurts more than anything else. There are more important things at stake here. ]

So just let me help you, okay?

[As Varian steps closer, Fern steps back, his sword retreating back into his palm. Once it's gone he reaches up, holding his hand protectively over his injured shoulder.]

I don't want your help!

[He can't stop himself from snapping that. Better than shutting down, right? He makes a frustrated noise, taking another step away, and another, until he's reaching the nearest tree so he can lean tiredly against it.]

I'm already humiliated, why do you wanna make it worse??

[The anger Varian has been working on keeping a lid on since... god; since Fern first stopped talking to him finally starts to surface. He's got a short fuse at the best of times, but he's been trying to keep a level head throughout all of this. Because nothing ever good happens when he loses his temper. But Varian is far from infallible. Even he has a tipping point. He's frankly amazed he's got this far. ]

I'm not trying to humiliate you! I'm trying to help you because you've been hurt. Because, hey, guess what, I still care about your wellbeing. Sorry if that doesn't fit in with this idea of yours that I don't- but it's the truth and you're just going to have to live with that.

[He hates this. He hates this so much. He's worked so goddamn hard on being a better person. On being a better friend, and it's still not enough. There's always somewhere he fails at- where he's not good enough. He's so damn tired of falling short of people's expectations of him. When will he be enough? Just... him?]

Look, I'm sorry that this didn't turn out the way you wanted it to. I- I can't just force feelings out of the blue like that. I didn't say it as some sort of attack on you. I mean, hell, you literally dropped that on me right after I told you I was dating Ruby. Like "surprise, here's some other stuff to mess with your head too, enjoy!".

[And he knows how Fern will react to this. He knows. He's lived in the self-loathing Fern does- most of him STILL lives in that mess. He's been slowly getting better, but he's nowhere near good yet. Not even close. ]

And this isn't me saying that you're a bad person or- or that you're not good enough or anything else you want to throw at me. I didn't even realise this was a thing until just now. I have a whole lot of stuff I need to process that I didn't even realise about myself and I could honestly live without being made to feel like the worst person ever because I don't know how to handle it yet.

[At some point, he realises he's been pacing and stops, folding his arms and heaving out a sigh. This is why he spends his time with adults back home. Other teenagers are complicated - he can bearly handle his own mess, let alone other people's. The anger at least fizzles out of him- gone as quickly as it came.]

You know what, fine. Hate me, ignore me, do... whatever you like. I'm sorry I'm not ready to... to deal with any of this right now. Girls, boys, both, I don't know. But will you at least for the love of god let me help you with your arm instead of letting yourself stand here injured in the woods? Because I will not be able to go through you dying again.

[Despite his own outburst, he isn't expecting for Varian to respond in kind. Nor is he expecting Varian to go on a whole tirade that undoubtedly has to be some measure of cathartic for him. If Fern was getting even only half of that he'd be prepared to snap back and start a whole argument, but through it he's shifting from embarrassment at needing help, to anger at getting yelled at, to a sinking sensation of self-loathing as Varian makes it utterly clear just how awful he's making him feel.

And then finally back to embarrassment because wow, he really can't do anything right, can he? Just about every single step he's taken today has been wrong, even the ones he was absolutely sure were right. The only thing he's done without completely screwing up was that fight, and now that it's over it's right back to making everything worse. Good job, Fern, good job.

His anger visibly dissipates by the time Varian has finished, replaced with a deeply mortifying shame. He doesn't even try to respond, he just stares at Varian for a few seconds longer before looking away.]

....

[Then he drops his hand from his shoulder, so that Varian can get a better look. It isn't the worst injury he's ever suffered, but there's been a chunk taken out and the torn grass still isn't knitting itself back together.]

[Varian watches him as he relents. He can make a good guess about what's rolling around in Fern's head. Hell, he doubts half of what he said even sank in. He knows Fern is likely taking whatever he did listen to and turning it in on himself like barbs in his own heart.

He knows this because he'd do exactly the same thing, in Fern's position. They really are too alike and that... that's dangerous, sometimes. Still, Fern drops his arm and Varian lets out a slow breath. Okay, good.

He comes forward, gently taking hold of Fern's arm to take a look at it, trying to see why the grass isn't knitting together like it should. His brow furrows, concern evident in his features.]

Has it been doing this since you got back? Is it still a side effect of the death flu? Or has this happened to you before?

[This is weird and uncomfortable and what's making it worse is he wants to say something, but he can't figure out if that something is an apology, more yelling that'll help him dig an even bigger hole he's managed to make, or just a bunch of incoherent, frustrated noises. So... nothing is probably a lot better than all of those options, at the moment.

He still doesn't want any help but he knows that pushing Varian away even more will only make things worse, so he just keeps on looking away and letting him poke and prod and do whatever. The grass at the injury twitches and sharpens a little, though not enough to do more than a papercut and certainly not enough to get through Varian's gloves.

Fern just... tried to focus on answering those questions, like he's hearing them from Doctor Princess back in Ooo. They're very clinical.]

It's... probably a side effect. Whenever I die here I have a hard time not - .... [Geez, this is the worst.] - Not falling apart into a pile of grass for about a week. The only other time that's happened was my fight with - with Finn. And that's only 'cause his prosthetic arm had a rotating blade. And a 'fatality' setting.

[Because hearing some more details on how the fight that might have killed him back home is totally not a horrible thing to bring up right now of all times, and all.]

[Varian has been busy studying the grass, he's spent enough time with Fern now to at least understand some of the properties of his friend's body. But this is still a concern. It should be fixing itself, and it's not. He stills, as Fern speaks- his shoulders tensing as he talks about the rotating blade. One hell of a thing to put on a prosthetic limb, really. Why would ANYONE have that unless it was premeditated? ]

...And he used it on you? Way to be a psychopath, Finn. Wasn't a big fan already, great to know he's still the worst.

[He turns, rummaging in his backpack and pulling out a little vial. He looks at it for a moment, chewing his lower lip thoughtfully. Then, carefully, he shows it to Fern.]

Look. I've been working on something. It's... not much. Just some Nitrogen and Potassium, a touch of Phosphorous; it can help plants grow. I don't know if it would actually do anything for you. But it's worth a shot... you know... if-if you want.

[If you trust me is the unspoken part, there. Ever since Fern died, he'd been trying to find something, anything that might help Fern and his... specific needs. He wasn't human. It wasn't like a bandage or antibiotics. He had to think outside the box. ]

[Oh, Fern is sorely wishing 'psychopath' was an accurate way to describe Finn. That would make all his stupid feelings so, so much clearer and his life so much easier. But he isn't, he was doing the Finn thing of trying to talk him down when it all happened.

Fern hesitates.]

He... didn't mean to.

[That's said in the tone that screams the situation was way, way more complicated than that. They really need to sit down and write out that timeline one day.

Of course, now any hope he had of relaxing has been completely squashed now that's he gone and brought up Finn. It's going to take him a while to shove those feelings back down, too.

When Varian turns away he leans a bit more heavily against the tree, glancing down at his shoulder. He looks up to see the vial, confused. That's a very plant-specific mixture, and he's pretty sure Varian didn't come up with it because he took up gardening as a hobby.]

Uh. Alright.

[What else is he supposed to say? 'No, I don't want to try using the science potion you obviously made to help me'?]

Then why did he have a weapon on his arm literally designed to kill you?

[He picks up that tone, but chooses to bulldoze over it. That didn't sound like an accident- and he knows Fern's relationship with Finn is complicated at best. But this... this doesn't seem fair.

Still, bigger things to focus on. He nods, popping the cork off the cap. This was absolutely something he made with Fern in mind- he doesn't know if it'll work- Fern isn't exactly regular plants here. Still, he can work on it, improve it. Make something better.

He tips the concoction on Fern's arm and squints at it, waiting, studying, hoping it'll do something. ]

I don't know.

[That's a question for Bonnibel, honestly, and it's a whole entire conversation that's probably better to have when they aren't dealing with... everything else. Fern keeps himself from fidgeting as he watches Varian pour the solution onto his arm, not sure what to expect. He's used to Bonnibel's science experiments, so he at least isn't afraid of the possibility of this going horribly wrong.

A few moments pass as the grass absorbs the nutrients. Nothing seems to happen... but then the grass slowly starts to regrow, taking on a slightly healthier green as his shoulder knits itself back up. Still very loose, but it's a definite improvement.

Fern watches, feeling a little relief that he isn't going to have to worry about his injury on top of the deathflu. Less great is that he has Varian to thank for that, it's one more thing that's making him feel lower than dirt.]

Thanks.

[This is the worst. This entire day is just the worst. He shouldn't say anything, he should just shut up after that gratitude.]

Uh... sorry. For stuff. [Stuff, he's so stupid.] I... I really thought I was doing the right thing.

[Clearly he was dead wrong about that.]

[He wants to poke more at this, but he doubts it'll do either of them any good. He exhales sharply through his nose burying it... for now. He's for sure going to mull on this for a while, though. Maybe Finn isn't as perfect as Fern likes to think he is. Big shocker.

He visibly relaxes as the solution works. Good. His thumb traces over the newly formed grass for a moment, checking it was holding. Satisfied, he shifts back a little, giving Fern his space back. A tired smile flickers across his face. ]

It's okay. You shouldn't have to worry about telling me how you really feel. I... didn't react well. [Story of his life. He rubs the back of his neck.] Look. Up until today I never even thought- well, I don't know. I thought "girls" was my only option but maybe it's not, but I just need to... figure that out. It's a lot to suddenly realise, y'know?

[The signs were always there. but he'd ignored them- because of course, he had. His romantic life prior to coming here was a crush on a woman who was much too old for him and was absolutely not interested in indulging in the puppy crush of a fourteen-year-old boy. ]

And I'm still trying to work out... everything with Ruby and I guess it's just... a lot, right now. All at once. [He lets out a self-deprecating chuckle] In case you haven't noticed, I'm really not good with people anyway, so this is a whole mess of confusion for me right now. And that's on me. Not you.

[He offers a smile, a little smaller this time.]

Look, I'm sorry I can't give you what you want right now - and frankly, you could do better anyway. I don't know... I think I need time? Just... time. And if you don't want to speak to me again because of that, that's fine. I get it. It hurts. You

[Rejection. When you've put your heart down on the line. ]

But you're still one of the most important people in my life, no matter what, okay? None of this changes that. Not ever. I just... I miss having my best friend around, y'know? I understand if you don't want that, or if it's not enough. [The terrible, poisonous voice in the back of his mind reminds him he's never going to be enough for anyone. It takes the wind out of his sails somewhat, so he finishes a little lamely.] But...yeah.

[The contact from Varian's thumb makes the grass twitch, and Fern can't really tell if it's just sensitive due to being newly regrown or if his emotions are causing that reaction. Either way he really, really doesn't want to think about it. Right now isn't a good time.

He's still feeling uneasy and like a total wreck, even when Varian forgives him. The whole 'girls only' is baffling, but explains one or two things. And honestly, that kind of limitation has to really suck. No wonder he reacted the way he did. This isn't going the way he had been hoping, but it's marginally better than how they were both dealing with this earlier. He reaches up, absently rubbing the antler tattoo on his right arm.

Okay... okay, he's disappointed, but he isn't emotionally devastated. He can do this. He can try to not completely screw this up again.]

Time's... good. Time's better than - [Outright rejection this very second, though he can't bring himself to say that aloud. He can barely hold back a wince. He... also probably needs some time.]

You're important to me, too. [He instantly feels dumb for saying that too, though he at least feels like warrants reiterating with the self-loathing he's noticed creeping into Varian's words. Guess they're both feeling like garbage right now, that shouldn't be surprising. The least he can do is try to be reassuring, though he knows from previous experience how awful he is at that.]

I don't want to shut you out. [He's managing to sound firm about that, though as he continues he falters.] I just - do that, when stuff gets too hard for me to deal with. It isn't you.

[He's just as big a failure at people as you are, Varian. Don't worry.]

[Varian is a minefield of emotions at the best of times, and this has tossed the proverbial ball right into the middle of it all. But at least he's managed to salvage some of it- he's glad- he would have hated to completely ruin everything here. Fern meant the world to him, no one, not here, not at home, understood him to quite the same level as Fern does. Perhaps it's a little selfish, clinging onto this- to have someone who understands exactly what it feels like to sink so low and then pick up a shovel and keep digging. But cling he does. ]

...Yeah.

[That's both to his admission of his importance and the acknowledgement that time's... good. He needs to hear it, to know he matters. It's desperate and sad and he knows it. Is it fair to Fern to be like this? He doesn't know... probably not. But he needs it. To be important. Relevant. ]

...I can get that. And I appreciate it. I'll... I don't know. Is it easier to just give you your space? I don't want you to think I'm turning my back on you for that. Because I'm not.

[He takes a few moments to consider that offer, though it doesn't help much. This is an entirely new situation to him - even Finn's memories can't help - that he has no idea whether space would help. For all he knows it could, it could help him calm down and sort out his feelings.

... But then there's that need to cling, and despite what Varian says there's the instinctive fear of being abandoned. Having to suffer through that, even if it's only a paranoid possibility in his head, seems worse than everything else, honestly.]

I don't know. At this point it'd probably feel weirder if you did. Pretty sure I'd just miss you.

[And wind up feeling even worse, so whatever he can do to mitigate that seems like the best plan. That doesn't mean the same applies to Varian though, and he can imagine 'needing time' also means 'needing space.']

... What about you?

I'd miss you, too.

[He has been missing Fern, desperately and horribly. Not the same way Fern has been missing him, it turns out, but missing all the same. He doesn't want to lose Fern out of his life completely. That... that would be a miserable time, he's sure.]

I mean, I still want to hang out. You're my friend and honestly, it's sucked a whole lot not having you around. I haven't liked it one bit. Nope.

[Fern musters what can only be described as the weakest smile in history, ever. It's just terrible and sad, but he's trying, and he hopes that counts for something.]

It's been the worst. [He isn't really exaggerating, either.

He makes a noise akin to a sigh, finally pulling away from the tree.]

You... wanna head back to town?

[After the last two weeks, he'll take that weak-ass smile. That weak-ass smile means the world to him. ]

Sure, let's get outta here before any more creepy bug ladies show up.

Yeah.

[He gives a little nod, starting to head in the direction of the nearest bus stop.]

Dunno if my body could stand up to another one of those.

[He starts walking, glad to be out of the spooky ass forest.]

Yeaaaaah, let's not tempt fate. Maybe stop trying to murder things until you're completely better again? [He offers a crooked smile, to show he's joking.] I know that'll be hard for you, it's a lot to ask for.

[Fern isn't smiling. He actually frowns a little.]

It is. It makes me feel better.

[Fern. Fern no. Varian winces a little.]

Okay. How about I make you a few robots you can murder instead? You know. Stuff I can actually turn off and stop attacking you before they actually overwhelm you. While you get your strength back. Then you can murder things and not risk dying at the same time?

[Fern blinks, looking over in clear surprise.]

You'd do that?

[He sounds baffled. On a good day his self-loathing gets in the way, and right now he's feeling like a worthless loser. Lower than dirt.

Varian's sounds like an awful lot of effort for absolutely nothing. Making robots for the sole purpose of destroying them seems seems like a waste of time and resources, and making them for him only triples how pointless they'd be.]

[Varian, meanwhile, can see no big thing about it at all. It'll be a fun project and anything that keeps Fern from getting himself hurt or from falling further off the deep end can't be a bad thing. To him, it's absolutely and resolutely not pointless.]

Course I would. I can make any kind you like- whatever you want to test your skills out on. Let your imagination go wild.

[Oh, geez. That is definitely way, way too much effort being spent on someone who's done nothing but hurt him all day. He slows down a little, realizing his face is darkening.]

You don't have to. You've probably got more important stuff to do.

Not really, it's not like I can do any of my saving Corona work here. Besides, you'd be doing me a favour, I want to create a pretty great security system for my house and letting you rail on my robots will let me see where I need to adjust weak spots.

[So he can build BETTER murder robots. What can go wrong there? Wow. ]

Right, yeah, that makes sense.

[That is perfectly reasonable. It's less about him and more about refining the robots.

Still, this is a lot of effort, and after a few beats of hesitation reaches out to grab Varian's hand and give it an appreciative squeeze.]

... Uh, thanks.

[The boy's got to have himself some insanely powerful murder robots to no doubt eventually go rogue and attack the town. He just needs them.

He wasn't expecting Fern to take hold of his hand and for a second his mind stalls. He blinks, staring at their hands for a moment, not entirely sure what to do about it. The guys back home would enact this simple gesture all the time, but knowing what he knows now... it's probably a lot less simple. He swallows down any growing panic, offering an (admittedly nervous) smile - returning the gesture. It's a little less sure, but it's there.]

Uh. S-sure. Don't mention it.

[Yep, nope. Varian's hesitation might only be a second or two, but it feels like hours to Fern. In his mind he, very clearly, done fucked up. Which means he's immediately letting go, that hand grabbing onto his upper arm, where his antler tattoo is located, and looking away.]

I'm... probably gonna need a couple of days though. For sleep.

[Because on top of everything else he can feel whatever the plant equivalent of adrenaline draining away and leaving him, in blunt terms, fucking exhausted. They're nearing the bus stop, thank Glob for that, his limbs are feeling heavy and his brain is doing that fuzzy kind of screaming that he needs rest.]

[Fern pulls his hand away and another sliver of self-loathing settles in Varian's mind. Of course, he misstepped again. Everything he does with Fern is a misstep. Nothing he does is right. Story of his life. He crosses his arms, quickening his step a little, hunching his shoulders. ]

...Yeah. Sleep's probably a good idea. You need that to heal up.

[The bus shows up and Varian heaves out a sigh. Okay. ]

C'mon, let's get back to town.

... Yeah.

[He can't think of anything good to say aside from that, nor can he find something appropriate to fill the awkward void of silence between them, so Fern just follows after Varian to the stop and onto the bus. Glob, this is going to be the worst trip back ever.

He drops down onto one of the seats heavily, trying to focus on the warmth and softness of the cat rather than where Varian sits. At least this bus is the most comfortable thing ever? Kind of like the Box Kingdom cats. He misses those guys.

That warmth and the rhythmic movement of the bus is what causes him to start nodding off after several minutes. Exhaustion has caught up with him, and he sorely needs a nap.]

[Varian takes a seat behind Fern, folding his arms and leaning back on his seat, knees pulled up to rest against Fern's seat. He hates all of this. If there was ever a time he wishes he still had the means to erase people's memories again, it would be right now.

He almost starts a conversation, but once he sees how genuinely exhausted Fern is, he lets it die on his lips. And so, instead, he sits back, letting Fern sleep- he'll make sure his friend gets off at the right stop with a gentle prod- but for now, he lets the guy get some rest. ]

Hey, is this Varian? I think we've met once before.
My name's Yang, and I'm pretttttttyyyyyyyyy sure you know my little sister Ruby.

[Uh oh.]

Oh, hey Yang. Yeah, I remember you. Thanks for the soup. Is everything okay? Is something up with Ruby?

[Because, like, MULTIPLE PEOPLE want to kill her and you never know.]

[ asking about ruby's welfare off the bat? that's a point in varian's favor. he's already off to a good start! ]

Don't worry, she's okay.
It's just that I may have heard from a really talkative flower that you guys have been talking. A lot. And that you two might've.... Well, you know. Worked some stuff out.
And I wanted to talk to the guy who's turned Ruby into a walking, talking pile of mushy feelings.

[Doubling down on that UH OH. He's just gonna stare at the Fluid for a minute. Is this how he dies? Maybe.]

Oh. Yeah! We did to that. The working stuff out thing. Yup. Sure did.

[And Ruby's talked about it, and she's got mushy feelings about him- which makes him feel weird. A good weird. Panicky and happy at the same time. Did that emotion have a name? Probably. He doesn't know. He's winging all of this. ]

So. What do you want to know?

[ dating is hard, young varian. you'll get the hang of it. ]

Yup, you totally did.
She hasn't stopped freaking out about it since. In the good way, promise.
But I guess we can take it from the top! How'd you two meet? 'cause one minute she didn't know you and the next she's talking about your raccoon nonstop.

[Dating is so hard and so confusing. ]

Oh. That's... that's good to hear.

[Thank god this is over text so he can maintain some semblance of being cool about this while, in reality, he's rolling around his lab making happy squealy noises. ]

It was only a day or so after I turned up here. I noticed one of the effects of avoiding stealing some treasure was a gift of the gab. It made people more susceptible to the power of suggestion. I wanted to do some tests on it and RUby was all for it. I asked her to eat an apple, easy stuff, nothing... weird or anything. Short story short we ended up blowing up a tree together and had to run from the Authority.

You blew up a tree and had to run from the cops?!
...eh, we've done worse.
Ask her to tell you about that time we stole an airship. That one's pretty crazy.
How long have you been here?

We did. It was pretty fun. Aside from making the cat cops mad at us, but what can you do. I didn't know arson was a crime.

[Yes he did. He read the rules and chose to ignore them.]

She has mentioned the airship. It sounds pretty wild. You know, like most of your adventures honestly. Three months! Just about. Feels a lot longer.

Do I get to ask you questions too or is this more an integration kind of thing? Just so I know where I stand.

[ breaking rules on purpose? varian will fit into this family yet. ]

What can I say? We're a pretty wild bunch.
Three months, huh. Can't believe she managed to keep the fact that you guys were talking under the radar for so long. Mostly because....
Well. Ruby.

An interrogation? OH, my gods, am I coming off that way?
Sorry, this isn't anything like that! Feel free to ask whatever you like!

[Who knew all it will take are CRIMES.]

I have noticed that. And to be fair us being a... thing is still a relatively recent development.

[But also, yeah, good work, Ruby. He's genuinely impressed.]

Little bit. I mean, I don't blame you. You're looking out for your sister. I get it.

[If Rapunzel wasn't from... well, the point of time she was, she'd probably be doing the same thing. Probably by feeding Ruby an excessive amount of sugar but still.]

How long have you been here? It sounds longer than Ruby.

Edited 2020-05-20 19:13 (UTC)

Well, she is the only little sister I have. Thanks for understanding. I now, officially, owe you one.

[ ruby plus excessive sugar is a bad combination. thank goodness rapunzel isn't squeezing her for more information. deerington would never recover. ]

We got here at the same time, actually! We both showed up on the Titanic in January, although our memories were all messed up then. Crazy to think it's already been that long.

Don't mention it. Family's important.

[Deerington would just be a crater in the ground. Tragic.]

Oh wow, that's good at least! That both of you were together. From the sounds of it, that Titanic mess wasn't a good time. Ruby mentioned something called Godzilla, which I've ascertained is some kind of giant dinosaur?

Yeah, it was huge. It was even taller than the Titanic and it had to be a couple of stories tall.
I didn't fight it, but Ruby and our super cool friend Amara did!

Actually, you should watch out for Amara once she learns about you.

Anyway, there were these shark-octopus monsters, too. Tons of them showed up right before Godzilla wrecked the boat.
Then the ship started sinking and.... It all ended in a big mess.

I read up on that after Ruby told me about it. Big ship. It sounds like a real tragedy what happened to it. Will happen to it? Time is weird for me.

[Most people's pasts are his future and it gives him a headache. He snorts at the comment.]

Too late on that one. She comes to my house a lot to feed me. I think she's afraid I'll starve to death or something.

Wait. Shark-octopus? How do they even... Is it like a shark head with octopus tentacles? Or... an octopus head with... shark fins?

If Amara already likes you then you're set. Hey, wait, are you not eating enough? 'cause me or Ruby can bring over anything if you need it.

Yeah, shark-octopuses! They had huge shark bodies with tentacles attached. Really gross and aggressive. It looked just like a Grimm except it was too fleshy.

[Oh no, not Yang too.]

I'm fine. I just forget to eat a lot, busy with my work and all. I use the Doorstop Pizza a lot though, that thing's a lifesaver. Super convenient.

[Look, Yang, look. He doesn't know Ruby's been sending him pizza on a nearly daily basis. He just finds pizza on his doorstep sometimes and assumes it's a future thing.]

Well. That sounds like a masterpiece of horror. And yet I've been here long enough now to just accept that's a regular Deerington Thing. Except... on a boat.

[ yes, yang, too. be prepared to have lots of macaroni and cheese sent to your house. ]

At least you have--Doorstop Pizza?
What the heck's Doorstop Pizza?

At least they haven't followed us into Deerington? ...as far as we know.
Let's just say they haven't so we don't have to think about them anymore.

[And lo, Varian will never starve.]

You know. When they deliver pizza and leave it on your doorstop without you even ordering any? Doorstop Pizza.

That's a really good thing. I mean, they probably need large bodies of saltwater, so we're probably okay. But that's a pretty big probably because this place is legitimately insane.

Salutations!!
You do not know me, but my name is Penny Polendina.
Ruby Rose is my best friend in the whole world.
I have come to understand that the two of you have recently entered into a relationship.
I thought it would be good to introduce myself now since we will most likely be seeing a lot of each other from now on!

[Oh hey! It's Actually Benny!!! Penny. ]

Nice to meet you, Penny! Guess that's spreading like wildfire, we sure are.

[He's still trying to deal with that in a way that doesn't involve being a massive awkward turtle about it- but at least he can fake being a cool guy over text. It's flawless. ]

Yeah! You probably will. I'm Varian by the way.

...Which obviously you already know because you messaged me.

[FLAWLESS.]

[Benny from Planet Leftovers reporting for duty! o7]

Ruby has not yet shared many details of your relationship, but she was very excited to tell me about it.
She called you cute.
Also scrawny.

But you are correct, I did message you! :D
I am eager to learn more about you.
Are you a Huntsman as well?

[SUCH AN HONOUR! And wow, Ruby, thanks. Thanks for the compliment?]

She called me cute? Really?

[Just going to ignore the scrawny thing because it's UTTERLY true, but still, wow, rude, Ruby. ]

I'm not, actually. I'm not even from your world. I'm from a whole different place, no grimm, no semblances, no auras. I'm from a place called Earth- specifically a kingdom called Corona. I'm an alchemist. ... That means I'm an inventor, mostly. Chemicals, engineering, that kind of thing. Definitely not a monster fighter.

You are a scientist!
That is an incredible career.
My father is one of the foremost robotics experts in all of Atlas, so I spend a lot of time around engineers.
I would love to see some of your inventions some time.

I sure am! And thanks. It's not the most popular career where I'm from, but I like it anyway. I want to help people.

[And lo, Penny endears herself to Varian forever. Give him that sweet, glorious validation, he will walk through fire for it.]

Really? That's amazing! I'd love to hear more about the robotic in your world. Mine is... pretty low key in comparison. I'm pretty far back in the past. But I'll happily show you what I've come up with already. You gotta learn to adapt, right?

[Oh if that isn't a loaded statement. Penny's not entirely sure how much Ruby has told Varian about her, but if he's asking about robotics in general then maybe he doesn't know.]

I would be more than happy to answer any questions that I am able.
But you should not be so self-conscious!
I am fascinated in the differences of technology between our worlds.
It has been interesting enough learning about how different things are here.
Did you know that this world burns the remains of giant, long-dead reptiles for energy?

[He hasn't got a single clue about the robot thing. Ruby very much hedged around that particular topic. ]

That would be great. Ruby's explained a lot, but I'd love to hear more, especially if you've had a front-row seat to some fancy robotics! And yes, I know about oil. My world is... pretty much this one, but about a hundred and thirty years in the past. But I'm with you, it's been really cool learning new things.

Then it sounds like I have as much to learn from you as you from me. This world is still so strange to me, but you sound very comfortable with the way of things.

I am unsure if my world is in the future or the past compared to this one. I am unsure if the technology is as much newer as it is different.

Oh yeah, I mean there's still a lot I don't understand- but I'm doing my best to work out all the technological advancements that there are on offer. I'm just not so hot with the pop culture references.

Yours might be somewhere in the middle. I know for sure there's nothing like dust on earth. That sounds completely unique to your world.

I can agree with that. The popular culture here is so much different from what I am used to as well.

[Because she was so plugged into what's cool back in Atlas.]

I know, how about the three of us get together and watch some movies? We can all learn together.

The fact it exists at all is pretty new for me. We don't have a whole lot of that back home.

[She CLEARLY knew where it was at.]

I'd like that. I'm pretty sure I'm allowed back into the movie theatre again now. So sure, it'd be fun.

Allowed back? Were you banned before?

[Varian what did you do?]

I had a thought that maybe we could pick out some interesting movies to watch at home? It may be more comfortable than sitting in a theater for multiple movies.

[Since some of these are like... three hours long? Can people really sit still for such a long time?]

Oh yeah. Me and a friend broke in there to see how the projector worked and apparently that's against the rules or something.

[And then he snuck back in to have a not-date with Ruby anyway. Fuck da police!]

That would probably be a better idea, given the uncertain nature of my ban. And it would be more comfortable. Better snack access too.

That seems mean. You would think the people who live here would be more accepting of outsiders wanted to learn about their technology. We would be able to assimilate more easily were we properly educated on how things work.

[Totally in the right, Varian. Totally.]

But Ruby and I will pick out some movies and get snacks. Please let me know if you have any preferences on either. Also, what day works for you? I have practice on Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays until 8, but I am free all weekend!

THANK YOU! It's not like we were trying to burn the place down or anything. We just wanted to know.

[Well, he wanted to know, Fern just wanted to commit crimes. Still, Penny, you're now officially his Favourite. ]

I'm not fussy. I'm still trying most of the snacks available here for the first time anyway. Weekends work great. I usually finish work by about four or so.

OMG VARIAN
TRY PUTTING OUR NAMES INTO THIS AND TELL ME WHAT YOU GET.

Is this a meme?

[He'll try it, because like an idiot he trusts her, and he gets this. It takes him about half an hour to respond. Sorry, he's had to go lie down on his couch and wait for the sweet release of death for a little while, it's fine.]

I'm confused. I'm so confused. Is it a hint?

Yes. It's exactly that.

[And Ruby just sits and stares at her Fluid waiting for a response. After awhile she sets it down because it doesn't look like one is coming.

She's about to ask if he was okay when a response comes through.]

Why are you confused? What did you get?

Wait, you don't know?

[Okay, so maybe it wasn't a hint. Maybe this isn't some Next Level Teen Romance he has no idea how to navigate. Give him a sec, he's opening it again.]

OH. You get different ones each time. This one says. "Varian and Ruby carving faces in pumpkins". Probably better ways to spend your birthday, but sure.

[He's not telling her about the first one. Nope. ]

Nope. Not a clue. You have tell me.

[Oh. Look at that. He's figured it out.]

Oh that's cute! Maybe not on my birthday but we could add it to the to-do list to do that month. Have some set up for any trick-or-treaters!

Sure, you bet. Sounds like a good time. I bet I could get them to illuminate with a whole spectrum of colours.

So, what does your say? When you click the little button? Or is this an all on me thing? :)

[Be proud of him he's learning how to use emojis properly. ]

Ooooooh! That would be so pretty~! We could do a pumpkin rainbow!

Oh no! I can do it too. I just thought you should get the full experience first.

Okay. Here I gooooo!

[So she goes and puts their names in and...

Oh no.

Oh gosh.

There's a pause before she copy and pastes it in and then she's just going to stuff her head in a pillow again.]

Ruby is trying to impress Varian and ends up falling flat on their face. As Ruby lays on the ground and slowly die from embarrassment, Varian has a mind blowing realization that they actually really like Ruby and when they help Ruby up off the ground, they pull them into a kiss.

Your porch will be the brightest in the whole street, that's for sure.

[And oh. Well. There's a thing. At least she was brave enough to actually put it on the Fluid, unlike him who... definitely hid that. He kind of stares at it for a moment, feeling his face flush. Welp.]

Oh. Well. That's.

That's sure a thing.

My first one was kinda like that. Not exactly but. Same theme.

They neighbors had better appreciate the effort we put into sprucing this street up.

[And their property values plummeting.

She fumbles around with her response to that. There's a lot of "..."'s popping up and leaving his screen. Instead she focuses on the important part of all this.]

Wait. You had one that you didn't show me? No fair!

[Nailed it.]

I think they'd appreciate it as much as the farm.

[Which is to say, probably not at all. But whatever, their loss. He kind of stares at those little "..."'s for a while and oh no don't ask him this, Ruby. This is only going to make things more awkward.]

It's really awkward. Just warning you now. Let it be noted that I tried to protect you from this.

Varian and Ruby haven't kissed yet. Each time Varian sees Ruby they think to themselves 'I've gotta do it this time' but they keep being too shy to do anything. One day a friend asks Varian if Ruby has ever tried to kiss them and Varian just screams.

We're really hoping the farm will catch on.

[Gosh. Wow. That is a whole of trying to tell them that they should kiss or something. She's glad to toss her face back in her pillow because that's her new safe space. It's like a cushy turtle shell of protection against awkward.

Eventually she'll respond.]

I

That is to say

I

Haven't tried???

Yet?????

Wait no.

Not yet.

At all.

Unless you wanted to?????????????

Uh. WAIT LET'S TRY A NEW ONE!

Ruby serenades Varian with a New Year's kazoo/squawker/party horn.

[The universe is mocking them and their awkwardness. That's clearly what's happening here. It's rude and he doesn't like it.]

I mean. Obviously I want to. It's just finding the right time? Is there a right time?

Forget I asked that I like the kazoo one better. I can picture that.

OhrightyeahthatswhatImeantsureyesIwanttotoowaitiwassupposedtoforgetyouaskedthatrightiforgotuhhhhsomeothertimesureyeah

Kazoos are awesome. I would be awesome at playing one. I'll start practicing.

Edited 2020-05-27 22:59 (UTC)

[Ah, Ruby has once again lost a fight with a space bar, he sees. Give him a second to decipher this.]

Uh. Right. Yes. I... too want to do that. At some point. Yes. Very much so.

["I too want to do that?" Oh noooo that's too ye olde times even for him. He's just gonna go... rest his head gently on his workbench for a moment and pray for death.]

I wonder how much practise it takes to play the kazoo? I mean, I can play the piano and the tambourine and I'll give you a wild guess which one is easier.

Sure. Great. Yeah. Someday.

[Just handling this like a champ.]

Pretty sure it's the piano, obviously.

That was a joke.

I can probably play the kazoo, but I have to actually learn the song or whatever that I'm going to play for my big debut.

Great. Glad we could get that ironed out.

[Kids, it's a kiss, not a business transaction, come on.]

Darn it and I was hoping you'd guess tambourine.

What song are you going to play, out of curiosity?

Phew! Yeah. That's a thing that'll happen sometime.

I can't always be the the clueless one. Just most of the time :>

I'm not sure. I kind of liked that one you sent me before. Maybe that.

Absolutely. Look forward to it.

[Oh god, why did he type that? Nnnnooooo.]

Hey now, you're not clueless at all.

That's a pretty good song. I'm sure it would be magical via kazoo. I could definitely be wooed by it is what I'm saying.

Right. Great time that'll be! See you then!

[FREAKIN' NAILED IT.]

I am at least a little clueless.

Good to know! We'll have to make sure there's a couch near by that you faint into if that's the case. I'll have to find a couple others just to keep it original.

[50% chance one of them is Skater Boy.]

[Good job kids!]

I feel like agreeing with you might be dangerous for me so I'm keeping my "no you're not" stance.

I will absolutely need a fainting couch prepped for all the swooning.

[Please serenade him with Skater Boy on the kazoo, Ruby. That's highest tier romance, right there. ]

At least my knowledge of modern music is still depressingly slim. The chances of you finding something I haven't heard yet are astronomically high.

Sounds good. It would be super awkward to explain all the blood.

This reminds me, we should go to like the furniture store sometime and check out if they have anything comfy in there. You game?

[It's coming.]

Don't worry about it. We don't have a lot of this music where I'm from either. The styles are pretty close though which is surprising.

And Ruddiger would probably swear vengance on your or something.

Okay, I guess I could use something in the house that's less... sparse. Even if only like... three people ever come here.

That's pretty cool. Have you found any other carry-overs between Earth and Remnant? I have to admit, I wouldn't have expected a lot of overlap, but I guess humans are humans whatever world they're in, right?

I could never hurt Ruddiger like that.
...I also don't need another person or cute animal in this case swearing vengeance on me.
...And also like hurting you is not high on my priority list.
...But this was mostly a joke and now I'm explaining it.

Three people are still people! You've gotta have something cozy in the house.

Our buildings and such are pretty similar. At least what I've seen in books kind of carries over between one another. I'm surprised we didn't end up doing things completely different in some ways. It's just weird how alike we are in some ways but other ways it's like how does this even work?

It's okay, Rube. Just joke was loud and clear. But thanks for the reassurance, it means a lot :)

I guess a couch or a comfortable chair or two wouldn't be the WORST thing. Maybe something nice for the porch?

I'm not sure. Your culture started off very differently, and obviously things like grimm and dust and selmblences have to have some effect on your day-to-day. But some of it does seem to follow the same beat. And it's common enough that people from all kinds of different worlds seem to be the same. I guess society has one really strong blueprint to work from and it sticks to that, just diverting course here and there when it needs to.

Just making sure.
I would hate to have Ruddiger for an enemy.
I can't fight something that cute.

OMG YES. WE NEED TO GET ONE OF THOSE SWINGY COUCH THINGS FOR YOUR PORCH. IT WOULD REALLY GO WITH THE BOOBY TRAPS.

That kind of makes sense. I mean even for humanities second time around in my world there were similarities between their take on our world and what I grew up with. We could all be drawn to the same things.

He IS pretty hard to fight when he's adorable. Shame I can't use the mutation serum on him here. He's way less cute then,

I'm not sure how a porch swing would go with the booby trap aesthetic, but sure. It might be nice. Maybe a little relaxing too.

[He's going to end up falling asleep on it, but at least he will achieve sleep!]

Exactly. It's pretty fascinating. I mean, I struggle with understanding how people work at the best of times- but the ancient cultures and how they all seem to stem from core values is pretty amazing.

He's practically unstoppable.
It is! I kind of wanna wrestle him when he's like that sometime!

Trust me. I'm an expert on things like this. They definitely go together. It's with you being from the olden days and stuff like that.

[And then one day they'll both fall asleep on it and it will be adorable.]

Maybe it means there is some sort of connection to all our worlds. Some way some how.

The gods did say our world was like a failed experiment. Maybe they picked up and started again somewhere else.

That doesn't surprise me. Not even for a tiny little second.

[She can't hear it, but he definitely lets out a soft, fond 'heh' at that. They will absolutely end up falling asleep on the thing and it'll be adorable. ]

Then I consider myself very lucky yo have you around to consult on all hip and cool modern-day things. Helping me navigate through my olden days confusion. Truly, you are a saint.

Maybe? I know we for sure have our own legend concerning light and dark magic. And how they are supposed to be joined together but split apart.

I fight monsters. You have to pick a career you're passionate about.

[This gently gets added to the to do list of things they have to do.]

Don't worry, gramps. I'm here for you. You'll be cool with all the young kids in no time, I promise.

That sounds vaguely familiar to my home... Or at least we had a God of Light and a God of Darkness. They're the ones who made our world.

We sort of have a representative for both at the moment.

Kind of.

Very true!

You're good to me. However can I ever repay you?

Ours were... are the Sundrop and the Moonstone. It's... really complicated and my world is in a lot of danger because the person who has control of the Moonstone is... well, she's on the warpath. She's got me locked in a cage right now- I mean, back in the waking world right now, using me as bait to get Rapunzel to come to her. Rapunzel has the power of the Sundrop, y'see. It's messy.

What are yours? As... representatives, I mean?

I don't know, Maybe a lab night? I have some extra equipment from the last order of guns I was working on. I bet we could make something cool with them.

[Ruby reads that over once or twice. The two of them tended to share of non specifics about their worlds, tidbits without actually getting into the details about what they were actually doing. It crushed a little to know he was in danger back at home. It hurt even more knowing there wasn't really anything she could to do help him there.]

That does sound complicated.
She's a capable girl though and you're not too shabby yourself.
I'm sure you'll both get you out of there.

It's kind of a tricky situation.
There are multiple things kind of playing a role some way or another.
Remember when I told you about Salem and Ozma the other month, during the rain?
Well... The Grimm. Salem has control over them and they were originally the creations of the God of Darkness.
Ozma-Or Ozpin as I knew him got his power to reincarnate from the God of Light.
Along with the Relics that are back at home. Well... I have one with me right now. Both here and in the waking world. I'm trying to get it to safety.

And I guess I fit in there somewhere too. My eyes are the same as the God of Light's. I'm not really sure how that works yet.

That'd be nice! I'd like that. I'm sure you could show me a thing or two.

[He considers his answer carefully. He's always very vague about Cass, he doesn't want her coming here and facing people thinking she's dangerous- not when she could be pulled at any point. Because, even after everything, he still desperately wants her to be able to find her way back to the light.]

Soon as I figure out how to get out of the cage over the two hundred foot drop without falling to a horrible, horrible death, I'll be fine. But Rapunzel has this. And the other person... well, I've not lost hope on her yet. She can come around.

Oh wow. So that's a lot. On something that was already A LOT. I met Oscar, by the way. On the subject of Ozpin. He told me about the whole living in his head thing. That's also a whole lot of terrible.

it doesn't sound like it's gonna get any easier for you guys any time soon, huh?

Who knows, maybe I'll even learn something.

[For as rough as Varian was on himself, Ruby couldn't help but admire the fact that he hadn't given up on whoever he was talking about. He was good people and she hoped he'd see that more in himself.]

Well if you that about here than I do too. Which means there are three people there watching your back. So I have more faith you'll make it out of there.

Ugh. It is. It's so much and it's so bad that I just don't understand how it got the way it is.

He did?

Oscar has had something awful forced on him that he doesn't deserve in the slightest. He's a good kid and I know he's trying best considering what has been put on his shoulders.

When I get home I have to find a way to help him too. It's on a long list of things I have to figure out when I get home but it's on there either way. I'm not going to let Ozpin just abandon him until whatever's happening to him runs it's course.

I'm not sure... I don't think so but I hope so. Everyone is from further along than I am. It sounds like everything is looking up from when I went to sleep, but that's only what's directly effecting us. ...We might be in better shape in the next few weeks depending on how things go.

I'm not sure. I haven't actually seen any of these things to know.

I'll do my best not to bore you too much with the science.

[He knows he can be a little much with all that.]

I appreciate that. I could probably use it.

I feel sorry for him. He's had a lot dropped on him and he's got no power over any of it. It's not like he can even walk away from what's in his own head. He didn't have a choice to be in any of this. Doesn't seem fair. But I have faith that YOU can figure something out. You're about the most tenacious person I know, and I know someone who genuinely fights with a frying pan.

That's not fun. I don't know if you've noticed, but Rapunzel is here. My Rapunzel. She's... from a different point in time from me. As in she hasn't even met me yet. Which sucks. A lot. So I get these time shenanigans now and I do not appreciate them one bit. But I'm glad to hear that things are looking up. That's something at least.

Hey. Just because I don't understand it doesn't mean I'm bored.
It's great watching you work and get excited about the things you like.

You can always count on me to believe in you and your friends.

He was dragged into our fight and he is really strong for going through it like he is, but I know he's really bothered by what's happening to him.

It means a lot to hear that. Thanks. I'm going to do my absolute best for him.

Yeah. We've talked actually. I talked her out of touching a weird orb in the forest and we ate cookies instead. ...She mentioned she didn't really know you though. I'm sorry for that. I know how much she means to you back home. Just give her time, I'm sure you can build the same sort of relationship you have with her back home. Or maybe even something better.

You're gonna regret saying that one day. But thanks, I appreciate that you appreciate my enthusiasm.

I don't blame him. Learning your life isn't completely your own any more has to be pretty awful. You lose a lot of your agency then. So here's hoping you can do something for him. This one's a little out of my wheelhouse.

Oh. THAT Orb. Yeah, warning you there, Jaune and I touched that orb so he's seen of my stuff without context. Kind of avoiding talking about that. Saw some of his, too. That wasn't fun.

Thanks for keeping her away from the orb. The point she's at isn't as bad as what's coming for her, but she's still been through a lot. Being kept in a tower for 18 years while being gaslighted by your kidnapper isn't the best way to start your life. And yeah. I mean, at least right now she's not aware I tried to destroy her entire existence? There's that?

Edited 2020-06-01 21:05 (UTC)

Well you spent like 6 hours with me forging weapons at a party. I think the least I can do is return the favor! Besides, sometimes things blow up when you're experimenting and that's pretty cool.

Jeez. I know the feeling about being out of your depth on this. I'm doing my best and that's all I've really got at the moment.

If it makes you feel any better. You can trust Jaune. If you ever choose to open up to him and I'm definitely not saying you have to. But he'll understand and I can help you with that if you want.

As for what you ever you saw. I'm sorry. He's been through a lot too.

No problem. It's what I do!

[There's a pause in responses as she just stares at the mention of being locked in a tower for that long and she feels her fingers start to shake a little.]

We have a fairy tale kind of like that back at home. About a girl in a tower.

Edited 2020-06-01 21:20 (UTC)

It's always nice watching you make weapons. You get really excited about it. It's adorable. And true, explosions do make everything a lot better!

I think so long as you do that, you're okay?

He seemed like a pretty good guy. It really does look like he's been through a lot. Who was the redhead?

Yeah? That's... weird. Rapunzel was kidnapped there when she was a baby. Her hair could... can now, I guess, heal. It's complicated how she got the power, but there was this evil witch who wanted it to keep herself young. So she stole Rapunzel and kept her alone in a tower until Eugene found her and saved her. They fell in love, escaped Gothell for good, Rapunzel found where she belonged.

[Doth it sound familiar, Ruby? Sure bet it does :D]

Look who's talking Mr.Let's Have a Round of Applause When I Find the Right Element For The Job. It's soooo freakin' cute how into it you and Ruddiger get. :'D

Here's hoping.

[Oh. The next two messages hit a little harder. There's a few minutes before she sends a response back.]

Her name was Pyrrha. She was a friend of ours and a member of Jaune's team. She was here for a month or two.

[She had already mentioned to Varian that she had a friend who had died here briefly. She wasn't sure if he'd catch onto that but she didn't have it in her to type it out yet.

Not with the next elephant in the room. She doesn't really know what to say with this one either. She kind of dreads explaining it to Varian because she really doesn't know what this could mean. Their stories were too similar. It couldn't be coincidence, could it?]

There was a girl in a tower.
Who was held there by her evil father.
Until one day a brave hero arrived.
He stormed the castle and rescued her.
Together they defeated her and escaped.
They hadn't expected it but the two of them fell in love.
They planned adventures around the world,
And were said to have lived happily ever after.
Or that's what should have happened.

It turned out the girls name was Salem.
And the heroes name was Ozma.

Edited 2020-06-02 22:42 (UTC)

[It's a good thing this isn't on video or she's she him blushing and trying to shove his Fluid under a book or something for five minutes. He just needs to gather himself. He's fine.]

What can I say? I have an appreciation for my art.

[FUCKIN' SMOOTH. ]

I did wonder if she was one of the friends you'd mentioned. Sorry. That has to suck for all of you. Does Jaune know she was here?

[Because she clearly meant a lot to him. And knowing she was here and he missed her... well, that wouldn't be an easy conversation at all.

Oh. Oh and that's quite the story. It's not the exact one, but it's damn close. Close enough to make him really dang concerned. He doesn't understand. How can a story traverse different worlds like this? ]

These are the people you told me about in the rain. The ones that defied the gods and made everything go to hell in a handbasket, right? Salem is the one that's causing you all this trouble now? That's REALLY close to Rapunzel and Eugene's story. Eugene didn't storm the castle so much as climb up the tower and got stabbed. And Rapunzel brought him back to life. But they still fell in love - definitely didn't expect it. I mean, before the whole stabbing thing, he was just hiding in the tower with the crown he stole. Rapunzel wanted to see the lanterns we light every year on her birthday, she wanted to know what they were about= so off they went.

The uh... stabbing came after that. I don't think they've defied any gods lately, but I missed a year of their adventures so who knows.

[How does it feel, Varian? This is what you do to her all the time?]

It's good. :>

[Ohh... Now everything gets rough.]

Not yet... I haven't found a good time to tell him. I don't know how to tell him.

I don't think we were at our best when she was around. I'm trying to figure out how to tell him.

[It is really close. Enough that even Ruby's concerned.]

Those are the ones.
It's not the same, but it's so close...
Salem wasn't able to bring Ozma back to life.
...That might be where the differences started.
Salem just wanted out of the tower. To live her life.
Afterwards she fell in love with Ozma before everything went the way it did.

Maybe they haven't gone against them yet.
Maybe they wont at all.
I don't know.
But that's so scary clsose.

[It makes him feel so awkward, oh my god Ruby, it's the bestworst.]

I don't think there's ever gonna be a good time to tell him that. But it might be worse for him to hear it from a total stranger- maybe someone who knew her while she was here. I'm sure if it were me, I'd want to hear it from someone I trusted.

[Sorry, Ruby, just here with the hard truths.]

It is scary close. Don't like that one bit. Not with everything going on at home already. Rapunzel definitely brought Eugene back though. We're still not sure how? Magic tears? Her hair was cut then, and in my time, even though her hair's back her healing abilities are not. I don't know if she could do it again.

I know. I don't want anyone else to tell him. I know I have to do it at some point.

I just...

I already completely screwed up with this before... I didn't get to her in time. I was too slow. Jaune begged us to help her and I couldn't. I gave it my all and I all I could do was watch.

I had to watch her die.

Then I spend all this time talking about what I'd do if I had one more chance to see her. If I had one more day to see her again and I all did was mess up over and over again until she was gone again. I couldn't get my act together long enough to make right or really appreciate the second chance we had.

...I don't know how to tell him just how much we screwed up and how sorry I am.

[Yeah. She hates this a whole lot.]

Maybe there's something different that triggers it? Maybe it was a one time thing? Maybe saving him that once was enough? I'm not sure. Not everything in your world matches up with what happened in mine. So it's possible it might not happen like it did in mine. Rapunzel doesn't give off the same vibes that Salem does. But I guess Salem wasn't always the way that she was either.

I don't know.

[Oh. If this doesn't sound horribly familiar. He stares at the Fluid for a little while. He's pretty sure Jaune won't take his grief out on Ruby, he probably would have done it by now, but still- he knows what it's like. To ask for help and not get it. To lose someone as a result of that. But this... isn't like his case. Ruby was there. She tried.]

The fact you were there and trying probably means more than you realise. I'm sorry you had to see her die. That couldn't be easy. I can't even imagine how hard it would be.

But he'd probably appreciate your honesty rather than avoiding it. Not talking about it will just let it fester- the longer it takes, the worse it'll feel when you tell him. I know it's hard, and I don't know how he'll react. But it's that step you'll need to take.

For what it matters, I don't think you screwed up. Having someone you SAW die be here and alive has to be impossible to get your head around. None of us knows how long we've got here, you didn't know she'd go so quickly. You can't blame yourself for something this town did.

[He's so very, very worried about her.]

Maybe it's just a SUPER WEIRD coincidence? I mean, Rapunzel can be SCARY when she wants to be and the Decay Incantation is a whole lot of badness and maybe if she never snapped OUT of that it would be... very world-ending. But no. No pretty sure she wouldn't.

[But what WOULDN'T she do for Eugene? That's... that's one heck of a line there.]

It's just one of those things you don't forget. If I had of been just a little bit faster. Got there just a bit sooner I might have been able to make a difference.

I know he would. I just... We started travelling together shortly after what happened. I'm don't think he'll be angry or upset with us. I just know how much he hurts after what happened. I'm just not ready to reopen the wound and pour salt all over it yet. I know I should. No, I know I have to tell him. I just have to get up and actually do it.

I guess.

Thanks.

I just wish I could have told her how much we missed her. I wish we could have made those days she was here special because she deserved that. She deserved better than what she got in the end in my world and she deserved better than what we gave her here.

I know I did the best I could have done with what was going on. I just wish I could have went above and beyond that to give her something better.

[She's just going to take a minute to herself before she moves on.]

It could be as simple as a difference in character. Salem just let herself fall deeper into darkness as time went on. If Rapunzel was able to snap herself out of something like whatever the Decay Incantation is that could be the difference there. I guess it's something we wont know for sure.

Or maybe you would have done all of those things and been killed instead. Or maybe you could have saved her and someone else got killed instead. Or maybe none of that would have happened at all.

Ruby, take it from someone who knows, if you let those what if's haunt you, you're never going to be able to deal with what happened properly. You'll just let the blame rest on your shoulders and that gets heavy after a while. But I know that's easier said than done. You know I'm here to talk to- you know, if you ever want to take the load off for a while.

[He's well used to carrying heavy baggage for now. He can share hers for a little while, if she needs it.]

I know. I'm sorry you didn't get the chance. That this place took her away before you could. I wouldn't be surprised if it was done on purpose. This place DOES love to make us feel awful.

Yeah. Maybe. Sure isn't a comforting thought, with everything going on back home. But I have to have faith Rapunzel can pull herself away from whatever darkness Salem fell into.

Maybe.

I don't know.

I just don't know.

You're right though. This place might have done it on purpose.

Talking might be... It might be nice?

I'm just not very good at this.

That's understandable. There being a whole lot of not knowing.

Well, if there's one thing I'm used to at this point it's soul-crushing guilt. I'm an ace at that, so I've got you on this one, okay? Whatever you need. Even if it's at like four in the morning because we BOTH know I won't be asleep.

I thought I had things a little more under control... I guess not.

It looks like we have a bit of that in common. I'm counting on you to help me with out that.

Someone really has to give you a bed time.

Thank you, Varian.

I really mean it.

It means the world to me.

I don't think we ver has as much control as we like to think. And sure, you got it.

I will never go to bed at a normal time. That's a pointless battle.

Just glad to be able to give back a little bit of what you give to me.

Probably not.

I might have to take that one up. Just because it's pointless doesn't mean it's not worth fighting.

You do. More than you know. You're the best. <3

You're braver people than most, but I accept the challenge.

Good to know. Oh hey, it's a little heart! <3

[Look, he's still learning emojis, thanks for giving him another.]

Oh yeah? I may have heard someone say that about me before. I'll try not to storm your fortress again to get the job done.

Speaking of challenges. Oscar mentioned something about troubles with dodge ball?

<3 It is~! <3

Use this new power wisely!

Yeah please don't make any more holes in my walls, Usagi will start to worry.

[Oscar you little shit, you squealed!!!]

Gym in general but especially dodge ball. I just don't understand the point of a "lesson" where you just get pelted in the head with balls. I don't know what we're supposed to learn from that. I mean, okay sure, the clue is in the name, dodge the ball- but I don't see how that's supposed to further my academia at all.

I make no promises!

Gosh. Well we wouldn't want that. Your walls are spared for today!

[Under the bus he goes.]

Ouch. Okay. That does sound a little rough. I think it's to encourage you to get up and do a little bit of physical activity during the day? A healthy mind and body are both pretty important? I mean there's a lot less physical activity here compared to what I did in school, but I think it's what they're going for.

Well I can't see you using a heart for evil. So I'm going to have to trust that you can't get into too much trouble with this knowlege.

My walls thank you for your mercy.

[It's probably a good job this is over text and she can't see the face he's pulling, nor the low-grade "ugggggggggggggggh" noise he's making.]

I don't know I'm pretty good just holing up in my lab and working on science. Science is plenty of fun. Who needs to be able to dodge a ball when you can work on a complex chemical equation is all I'm saying.

[When you live in a horror town that keeps trying to kill you, Varian.]

A rookie mistake, if ever there was one. Bwahahaha!

From my experience both can be pretty handy. Not that I'm great at complex chemical equations. I'm normally pretty good at dodging things but the one time I couldn't they came stepped in to the do the job.

I'm just saying a little bit of exercise of training would probably help out. Maybe we could do a bit before or after school?

You FIEND!

I mean. I GUESS it might be smart in this place. Given all the horror-monsters and stuff that keep showing up. It doesn't make any sense in conjecture with the ball dodging, but I see your point.

[Ugh. Exercise. But also spending more time with Ruby. God. What a choice. ]

I feel like I'm probably going to regret this about a week in, but sure. Okay. We can do that before school?

Once you get the hang of it it might make a bit more sense. Just think of every ball as a scary monster claw coming to rip you to pieces.

[The sacrifices he makes.]

Awesome~! let's go get you a fresh pair of running shoes and a sweat band!

Before school sounds like a plan! We'll keep it simple at first and then build you up to something a bit more intense.

Don't want to scare you off right away.

That logic does track somewhat, have to admit it.

Yeah, I am absolutely going to regret this. I'm already scared. The fear is already here. Please don't kill me, I like being alive. No intense, please.

I mean that's how we started learning back where I'm from.

No, no, no. I promise! You'll be fine! No intense until you're ready for it. Promise~!

You have nothing to be afraid of! I wouldn't hurt you!

Having ACTUAL monsters in your average day-to-day would help with that.

Please be gentle. I'm small and scrawny and liable to break.

I guess it might be fun??

It really does!

I've made note of all these things. I'll do what I can.

I promise me to make super fun! Or at least fun as possible for you!

Well, if anyone has even the slightest chance of making exercise even marginally fun for me, it's you.

Well I'll do my best! If it helps you stick with it you can find something you like and I'll give it a shot too.

We already do most of the stuff I like anyway. What with the building things and all :)

[And just hanging out in general. Spending time with Ruby is always time well spent as far as he's concerned. ]

I know, I know! I'm just saying if something pops up that you're not sure about. I'm willing to at least give it a shot too!

[Wow. Varian likes spending time with his girlfriend. What a nerd.]

Okay, fair. I'll bear that in mind if the mood ever grips me to do something other than science. Don't hold your breath though.

[Such a nerd, god Varian, you weirdo.]

Starting to hold my breath in 3.
2.
1.

[He isn't the only weirdo.]

Are you at home? So I can let Yang know when you finally pass out from lack of oxygen?

Yeah. I don't hang out anywhere else this close to bed time. Unless there are orcs or monsters to fight. But the orcs seem to have cleared out for the most part.

Is it nearly bed time?

[Time is meaningless in the Science Dungeon.]

Yeah, I guess that was the shortest war ever. Wierd how most things only ever last two months tops here. I'm not complaining, if it all stacked forever it would be awful, but still.

Edited 2020-06-10 22:31 (UTC)

For those of us that sleep. You should probably give it a try sometime.

[The science dungeon is cool but like get a futon or a cot down there at least.]

Yeah. They didn't really bring their A game to it, did they?

I mean I'll take that over a 10 year war that had a super tense hundred year build up before everything boiled over. My home really knows how to go to war when they want to. But it's been a long time since we've seen one.

[Ruby... Actually knows about history???? At least when it comes to her world.]

You think so? I heard it might be overrated.

[The floor of his lab is just fine, gosh. ]

It was kinda tragic, really. I was expecting way more. Even I did better than that and I was by myself.

Wow, really? What started the war? If it was super tense it has to have been over something serious, right?

[He's genuinely pleased, he's got faith in her that there's more to her than she believes. She's smart, no matter what she says otherwise. ]

You try taking a nice long afternoon nap and tell me you still think that. I dare you.

They should have asked you for some advice before hand. Maybe build a robot army of their own.

So some people had the great idea that best way to deal with the Grimm would be to have a handle on everyone's emotions. There was a decree in two kingdoms to destroy all forms of art and self expression.

That eventually led to them trying to invade the other two kingdoms. It ended up being a disaster.

We're all named after a colour these days in memory of what happened.

Are you daring me to take a nap?

Tragically, they missed their chance. Now they just have to accept that they're going to be the losers in this fight. So sad.

OH. Oh, that's bad. YEAH. That would absolutely not fly in Corona. Wow. I think Rapunzel would absolutely lose it if you took away her paints. Like, genuinely, people would die. Which... I guess was the point.

That does explain all the colour schemes I've noticed you guys seem to have. I wondered if it was just a team thing, but I guess maybe not?

What? Are you chicken?

:D Which means weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee are the chammmmmmmmmmmmpppppiiiiiiiiiiiiooooooooons, my friend!

It didn't fly in Vale or Vacuo either. You guys have like a holiday for pretty much everything though, so I could totally see you guys being up in arms about it too. Of course all the fighting just got worse because Grimm got involved too. Nothing like stopping mid-fight to fight monsters before you go back to fighting each other.

It's a team thing too. Team names are supposed to represent a colour as well. Probably because Huntsmen and Huntresses were established after the war as well. They're a more recent thing. Like 3 or four generations now.

Oh my god you're actually daring me to take a nap.

I... do not understand the reference. Sorry.

Ugh please don't remind me about the endless holidays. It's nice being in a place that doesn't have a street party every week because they're celebrating the day someone found a penny or whatever. Yeah, that's TRUE. A war in a world where creatures that are attracted to negative emotions can show up at any time seems like a bad idea.

That makes sense when you think about it. The aftermath of a war would have created more Grimm. They would have needed something in place in order to deal with them all, right?

Do it, coward.

It's a song. I just heard it the other day. I'll send it to you and then you have to sing it.

I'm all for celebrating the little things in life but there isn't much you can do with a penny. Most stores that do like single pieces of candy are at least 5 cents a pop.

I think that's why we don't see too many of them. Even if there's talk about them these days.

That was the idea. Huntsmen were made to be separate from the army or police force and they're not meant to be stuck working for one kingdom. They're supposed to be able to go where they're needed most and help out. Not all of the kingdoms treat hem like that but it's definitely a nice ideal to work toward.

But Ruby, I'm in the middle of an experiment :(

Oh, okay. Sure, I think I can manage that.

So the idea is that you don't have an allegiance to a particular kingdom? I mean, I can see there the logic works there. You want to be sure the people protecting you from the horrible nightmare monsters will protect everyone fairly. And some kingdoms don't treat you guys like that? Like they don't want you around or something?

How long until your finished with this exact experiment?

Good! I'll send it your way.

[There's a link to We are the Champions by Queen right here.]

That's the idea! It also encourages us to go and protect the outlying villages between kingdoms too.

All of them want us around. Just Atlas' Huntsmen Academy is directly linked to their military. It's the only kingdom that does that and they try to scoop up their graduates with special positions there. It's not a very well liked take on the whole thing.

I don't know. A couple hours maybe?

[Give him a second, he'll click on it to give it a listen as he continues to type.]

It's a little like an Opera. Very uplifting. I'll do my best.

Oh. Yeah, I can see where that would be problematic. Because suddenly the people who are supposed to be travelling around and being neutral in protecting everyone have a vested interest in one place. Not ideal.

I dare you to take a nap in two hours. I've adjusted the dare, you have no excuses now.

I believe in you! And now you get the reference too :D

Yeah. I don't really know how much of a problem it is, but it's weird. I've met the headmaster of the school there and he seems nice enough.

[Gosh. Give her a season to change her opinion on that.]

Okay, credit where credit is due, that was pretty sneaky. Well played, Miss Rose.

Gimmie a day or two to learn it and I'll sing it for you :)

Despite the weird military thing?

[What a fun time that'll be. ]

Thank you~! So we have a deal.

Yussss! We can it when we work on the warehouse next too.

I mean yeah. It's super weird and probably not the way to go. But as long as everyone is safe than that's what really counts.

Okay, sure. We have a deal. You beat me this time.

Sounds like fun. I'm looking forward to it.

I mean... I guess? If you look at it that way. So long as people are still alive.

Yuuuuuuusssssss. Victory is mine! :D

You better be!

I'm not exactly an expert. I think if it's working out for the people there it's okay. If it stops doing that, than we're definitely going to have to look at some changes.

Something like that is a little beyond me.

Enjoy it while you can.

I think generally you leave that sort of thing for the people in charge. Or at least trust them to get the right sort of advisors to help them make the right decisions to change things.

[And not make a complete mess of things by lying to your people, King Fred. ]

I will~! :D

Yeah. You have to have the right team supporting you to make sure things work out for the best. The kingdoms generally run on a council system so it's not just one person making the decision there. So no one should be able to just fly off the rails and do what they want.

[Unless there's one guy holding two positions and ignoring the others. Ironwood.]

That's so much better than home. We just have the King. He decides everything. Sure, he has an advisor but ultimately he makes all the decisions. Even bad ones.

[He might be a teeny tiny bit salty still about the whole black rock cover-up.]

Well... Everyone makes bad decisions from time to time.
I don't know how your king is but he'll only be doing the job for so long, right?
Eventually that's going to be Rapunzel's job?
I know she made some missteps too but she sounds like the kind of her person who will at the least do their very best.

Do they make decisions like pretending the very dangerous thing taking over their kingdom isn't really there and lying to their daughter when she asks about it?

...Yeah, eventually it's gonna be Rapunzel's job. I'm pretty sure she'll make an excellent Queen. At least she LEARNS from her mistakes.

...Kind of?

Seems to be one member in particular on each council.

It's an Ozpin thing.

That's a step in the right direction. Hopefully everything works out until she gets there.

Great work, Ozpin. Thanks for your continued contributions to making everything worse.

Hopefully. I mean. Assuming everything doesn't end in fire. Or black rocks. Or...you know, we don't all end up dead or something.

Weird shadows war make everything super awkward.

...That bad huh? You want to talk about it?

[She does a lot of talking about Remnant but she knows he doesn't talk about home a whole lot. She understands he has reasons for it but at the very least she can offer to lend an ear.]

Edited 2020-06-17 22:35 (UTC)

They sure do.

[There's a good long pause before he responds. He's avoided talking about this because he feels Cassandra deserves the same chance he's had. To have an almost clean slate- to chose who gets to learn what she's done, instead of having everyone know her for her mistakes.

But it's not fun, keeping it all to himself. He's very worried about home, he's worried about her. He tried so hard to make her realise she was destroying her own life, but he failed. And now he doesn't know what she's going to do. He just wants her to avoid the same dark path he did and he's not convinced that's possible any more.

Above all, he trusts Ruby with this information.]

I'm not the only friend Rapunzel has had turn against her. Cassandra's... in a bad place. Figuratively and literally. I don't know what she's going to do to Corona but it's not good. I've tried to talk her out of it but I don't think she wants to hear it. She might have kind of definitely kidnapped me- to get information only I have. So back home she currently has me in a rock cage hanging over a near two hundred foot drop.

So.

That's fun.

Edited 2020-06-18 21:00 (UTC)

[She's gotten used to Varian going quiet and dropping a whole lot of information on her by this point. It was either going to be concerning or something that brought her a whole lot of confusing happy feelings that she'd have to come to terms with.

Today it was concerning. On the bright side no Fluids were getting thrown around today.

She reads it over and can't help but feel a pang of worry for Varian. More so knowing that she can't just rush in to save him back in his world.]

Maybe if you have a landing strategy.

[Maybe a bad time for a joke, but she knows landing strategies are not a thing back in his world. They should be a thing in every world.]

That's sounding pretty grim there.
Have you given her the information she's looking for?
You said you tried talking to her.
Do you still believe in her?

[Sorry, Ruby, it's how he do. You get everything all at once or nothing at all. Those are your choices. She can't hear him, but he does laugh a little at the comment.]

Oh yeah. All I need to do is stick the landing and I'll be fine.

Not willingly. She drugged me with my own truth potion, which I guess was karma pointing and laughing at me. She has the power she needs now. For better or worse.

Yes. I have to. I need to believe she can come back to the light again. That she's not beyond redemption. She's a good person, she just got her head messed up with things and she just needs to realise that what she's doing will ultimately destroy her.

I don't want her to feel the way I feel about myself. She deserves better than that.

[She's fine with that. She'd rather him let it out than keep it buried inside. She'll drop the jokes for now but she's glad he took the landing strategy one well.]

I know the situation looks bleak.
But I don't think it's important that you haven't given up on her.
She might have used you to get more power
to get what she wanted.
But you're still alive right now.
There's a difference between hanging someone over a drop like that and just pushing them off.
She doesn't sound like she's all gone to me.
If you think there's still hope for her than I do too.
I'm sure you friends feel the same way.

[It's much, much healthier than letting it all fester, it's true.]

There is. She could have very easily have just dropped me. She even told me she didn't want to hurt me. I'm just bait now. For Rapunzel. I guess we'll have to see what happens when she comes for me.

[God, he hopes she comes for him.]

I hope maybe Rapunzel can talk her out of it? I don't know. She's- she was talking to someone else. That wasn't there. But she's a good person- one of the best people. I just hope she can pull herself out of this.

I hope everything turns out for the best there.
Must be hard knowing things are so tense back at home.
I think if you all pull together things will be fine.

It might take time and it might take more than one talk, but I'm sure she's strong to come back to her friends.
She'd have to be pretty great if you named something after her.
:D I'll have to meet her someday.

[Yeah. She managed to put that one together.]

I haven't told anyone else. I don't know if Cass will ever show up here or not, but if she does? I don't want people here to know here as some villain. She deserves at least half a chance to live as normal a life as she can.

[There's a paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaause, because oh no she worked it out.]

Hah. Uh. Honestly? I named an element after her because I had a huge crush on her back then. I thought it would impress her. I kind of willfully ignored the fact she's eight years older than me and very much not interested. Got over that obviously. But if she ever does show up please try not to laugh too hard when she tells that story. It was awkward. I was awkward.

I can understand that.
If she does show up. Trust me when I say I won't hold anything she's done back in your home against her. I'll give her that chance for you.

[She knows how he names things. She knows what he's named. She came up with a name based on how he names things. She couldn't miss that one.]

Oh my gosh~! That's so cute! I mean I'll give you points for trying to follow your heart and for realizing it wasn't going to work out.

I can only promise to try.

Thank you. It really means a lot. She's - she still means a lot. Despite everything.

I mean honestly? I kinda only realised after I tried to murder her with the giant robot. Or maybe it was while I was in prison? I don't know. I was dealing with a lot of self-realisation all at once back then. It all kind of melds into one.

I'll take it.

Of course. If I've learned anything about the people from you world, it's that they're worth more than the mistakes they've made. :)

Uhm. Excuse me????
I take back what I just said.
Where's my giant robot fight!?
I want a giant robot fight.
I fought a giant robot before I got here and it was pretty freakin' cool.
Please tell me I can fight another one!

That is what Rapunzel likes to rule by, to be sure. Everyone deserves a second chance as far as she's concerned. Even third or fourth chances.

That's... that's your take-home from all of that?

[Ruby, honey, he loves you but please.]

Okay. Okay. I'll see what I can do about a giant robot fight. You weirdo.

If there’s a chance they can change I think it’s worth it to give them the chance. It’s not always the easiest thing to do but the alternative isn’t either.

Sorry, sorry. I’m not trying to make light of your past mistakes and prison time. I just received super valuable new information that we haven’t been over before.

GIANT ROBOTS ARE LIKE THE COOLEST EVER.

[Sorry Varian, you’re stuck with her.]

Promise? Double pinky promise?

You and Rapunzel really would get on a lot.

They WERE pretty cool. I was pretty proud of them. Despite the attacking thing.

[He doesn't give an all-out promise. Varian doesn't make promises he can't absolutely keep- and his ability to remake another automaton really does hinge on if he can face his demons enough to cobble one together again. It'll be for fun, this time, instead of all-out war- but he doesn't know for sure if he can do it. And so, she doesn't get a pinky promise, double or otherwise. ]

I'll see what I can do. Watch this space.

She seems like cool people.

That's fair. We just have to find a better use for them. Training to fight some bigger threats would be a great idea.

I'll get the popcorn.

She's VERY cool people.

You know. That's... not a bad idea. Using them for good, instead of. That.

[Murder.]

Well tell me more about her if you want to!

[Oh. She understands a little more why he might have been apprehensive to work on anything like that.]

Don't force yourself if you aren't ready or don't want to. If you are up for it they might be a great way to defend the town when things get nasty. Odds are something like that could come in handy for a bunch of reasons.

Edited 2020-06-23 18:54 (UTC)

She likes to paint. You should see her room. It's full of paintings, wall to ceiling. Mostly us. Her friends and family, the adventures we've had. It's pretty neat.

[There's also a BIG SPOT that's been painted over completely which is where Cass used to be. He wonders if she painted over him- after everything he did before he earned his right to be on the wall again.]

It could do that. And it would be nice to see them being used for something not destructive. I'll think about it.

Oh that's so cute. I love it a whole lot. That's a great way to remember all the things you've been through.

I'm not super artistic but I've got some good snap shots from my time on the road. Hard to get more than that really.

That's all I ask :D

It is pretty cute. I think the palace staff were less impressed, but once Old Lady Crowley realised she couldn't just wash it off I think she just gave up on it

Snap shots?

Sometimes you can't fight against a force of nature.

Pictures. Mostly taken with my Scroll. Which is basically like the Fluids here. It's got a camera on it.

That's pretty much the mood, yeah.

Oh! So like a photogram! That's super new back home, people are still trying to get it to work and it involved a lot of chemicals and processes I won't bore you with. So it's a still image instead of a video?

I know more than a couple like that. Sometimes if you can't beat them you just have to join them.

[She says as though she isn't one of those people herself.]

A photogram? Yeah. It sounds exactly like that but that names sounds more like an app than anything. Which is weird because you guys don't have apps last I checked.

But yeah! On our Scrolls we have a camera that can take still pictures or video. There's a button on your Fluid that can do it too. If you want I can pop over and show you?

Maybe we can track down the chemicals and try to do it like they do in your world while we're at it.

Pretty sure that's the mentality that Rapunzel uses to rehabilitate most of us. She has a worrying number of ex-convicts in her social circle.

[Rapunzel collects assholes like a normal person collects stamps.]

We for sure don't have apps. Or phones. Or... anything really that takes still images. Photograms are still REALLY new. Like you can get a copy of an image onto a piece of metal... that kind of thing.

Sure? I think we could manage that. It won't be anywhere near as clear as what you'd get on the Fluid, though.

[Because 1820s technology is so very, very sad.]

Is there an acceptable number of ex-convicts to have around? Ex-cons get a bad rap for some reason. But I hang out with an ex-extremist all the time and they're one of the nicest people I know.

I mean it's something??? Putting it onto metal sounds kind of awesome.

That's fine! If we wanted a clear image we could just take one on a Fluid. Let's do it your style. With chemicals and stuff!

If you ask the citizens of Corona, they probably have feelings about the number of ex-cons the future Queen has in her inner circle.

[They've stopped being OPENLY HOSTILE to him since the red rocks, but he's not an idiot. He knows there are plenty of people who haven't forgotten the night of horror he dropped on them.]

It's VERY awesome. And okay, you got it. I need to gather the stuff I need, but we can do it.

Okay yeah, but people are lame sometimes.

Great! I'm looking forward to it!

Feldspar is lame.

[Go fuck yourself, Feldspar. No one likes you or your stupid shoes.]

Me too!

is the Rapunzel in town your Rapunzel?

also, Will's gone

[He almost doesn't add that bit about Will, but Varian is one of the few people around here who understands just how close they were. Varian knows what it's like to lose a father, and the thought of being alone with his thoughts and feelings right now is too much. He's feeling stupid and scared, and he isn't sure who else he can reach out to.

Maybe he shouldn't have bothered, he's just being a waste of Varian's time. He should deal with this on his own.]

you know what nevermind
i finished the first Flynn Rider book
it was really good

Yeah, she is. But she's from a much earlier point in time than me. As in, she hasn't actually met me back home yet. She doesn't even know she's a princess right now. So that's a thing.

[A thing he's been BEARLY dealing with. He's kind of just pushed it all down and hoped the pain of it all would go away. It hasn't.

He'd normally be all over the book thing, but those two little words catch his attention more. He never met Will, but he knows how vitally important the man was to Fern. Damnit, this was not Fern's month.]

I'm really sorry about Will. Is there anything I can do to help?

oh
ok
it'd probably mess with her head too much to tell her?

[He... he doesn't know. It'd be a lot easier, but who knows if she'd even believe him.]

no
i don't know
i want to crawl into a hole and never come out

[This whole month has been a whole struggle with his feelings, and this is something he can barely even process.]

She believes her real mother is the woman who kidnapped her and held her captive in a tower for eighteen years telling her that the outside world was full of people who wanted to kill her. Yeah. I'd say it'd mess with her head a whole lot.

[He hates lying to her. He's supposed to be past that. Out of everyone in the world, Rapunzel is the person he wants to lie to the least- but he doesn't know how much damage the truth would do to her now. Without Gothel here to confront.

Worst still, knowledge is a snowball. She'll learn she's a princess and then what? Ask how she knows him, what he is to her. And she'll know everything he will do to her and he absoluteky cannot stand watching her hurt and disappointment in him again. So a lie it is. It hurts the least. ]

This is the cherry on top of a pretty awful cake for this whole month for you, huh? I'm sorry. And I'm sorry I didn't help that be any less awful. You wanna punch a robot? I've only got a few, but you can punch them it if helps.

right, ok
i won't say anything to her
i'll try and keep an eye on her though
so she doesn't get into danger

[Fern isn't sure if that's the right choice, but it's the one Varian wants to make and he'll do what he can to support him. He can't just... not do that.

He hesitates in responding to the rest of Varian's message. He can't really tell him 'no, you didn't do anything', because that wouldn't be truth and they both know it.]

no
i don't really want to do anything right now
aside from the hole thing

[Congratulations, Varian, here's what happens when a Finn goes one step beyond dealing with his problems using emotional, obsessive-compulsive behaviour: catatonic depression.]

Edited 2020-05-26 22:26 (UTC)

Actually, I'd really appreciate it if you did. The Rapunzel I know can look after herself pretty well, but she hasn't got there yet. It would put my mind at ease knowing someone I trusted had her back.

...If a woman with black curly hair called Gothel shows up, claiming to be her mother, don't let her anywhere near Rapunzel. Do what you like to her. She's the worst kind of monster.

[There you go, Fern. Free reign to kill someone, quite possibly one of the few people Varian would ever agree needs to be wiped off the face of the planet. Multiple times if needs be.

He was kind of expecting that response, and any reassurance it wasn't his fault would fall on deaf ears. He feels pretty damn solidly to blame for a lot of Fern's current misery. ]

That's fine. Let me know if you need anything. I can get Ruddiger to bring over some more of the Flynn Rider books if you want?

[... Yeah, okay, Fern is not even going to question any of that. Nor is he going to tell Varian that violence isn't the answer, or try to persuade him away from that kind of thinking. He's just going to try and be there for him.]

ok
got it

[He'd like to not be holed up in the treehouse by himself, but he also doesn't want to drag Varian into his problems any more than he already has. No wonder he was so grossed out by the prospect of romance - heck, right now he can't even figure out why he wants to be friends with him. All he's doing is infecting him with his misery.]

it's probably better to just forget i said anything

[He is very glad of that. He didn't want to give a laundry list of the awful shit Gothel has pulled and how she's actively destroyed the lives of the people he holds dear. Not today, no thanks.]

Thank you.

[He stares at Fern's next words and heaves out a sigh, He doesn't know how to mend this. He doesn't know how to help. Whatever he tries seems to make Fern hate himself all the more.]

But I'm worried about you.

[Funny how dealing with Rapunzel, whose life is apparently a total chaotic mess, is easier than everything else.]

i know
i'm sorry
i keep dumping my problems on you and you don't deserve that
i'm not a good friend

[Rapunzel's life has been consistently on fire since she got out of the tower.]

You are a good friend. I don't mind the problem dumping. Friends are supposed to help each other out with that kinda stuff. Despite everything else.

I don't want you to be hurting if I can help any.

[There's several long minutes of silence as Fern wrestles with wanting to argue and wanting to give in.

He eventually chooses the latter.]

i don't want to be alone right now

[Varian lets out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding.]

Okay. Do you want me to come to the treehouse?

no
i don't want to interrupt whatever you're doing

[He almost leaves it at that, and nearly types out 'forget it i'll be fine'. But he won't, he knows he won't.]

can i come over to your place?
i'll stay out of the way

[He wants to say that Fern would never be in his way, but he doubts his friend would believe him even if he did.]

Of course you can. The traps are disabled so come right on over.

thanks

[He'll give Hazel a bit of before heading on over to Raccoon Alley. He's dragging his feet the entire way, wrestling with the urge to contact Varian again and tell him that he's changed his mind. He hasn't , of course, he just doesn't want to be a bother.

When he arrives he rings the doorbell. While he looks significantly healthier than when he came back from the dead there are still dark circles under his eyes, and the life has been drained out of him. He's also solid grey again, with no signs of the little colourful flowers from the party.]

[Varian answers the door, he notices with a small frown the flowers have gone from Fern's hair. He imagines Fern took them out- he hopes its that, and that Fern didn't lose the small splash of colour he had. He... doesn't look great, and not for the first time, Varian feels a twinge of guilt in his gut over it. ]

Hey, come on in.

[He steps aside, letting Fern inside. Worry still mars his expression- he's not sure what to do to help here. A hug maybe? But would Fern read into it? Would he hope it meant more than a hug? He doesn't know- things used to be so much easier between them, he hates having to second guess himself.

Eventually, he settles for putting a hand on Fern's shoulder, not quite the hug he'd like to offer, but... something.]

I really am sorry. About... everything. You wanna come watch me build a robot?

[When the door opens, Fern takes an immediate step towards Varian. But his mind catches up with him and he's absolutely certain Varian would think he's gross for attempting a hug, so he freezes and instead awkwardly clenches his hands into fists and steps inside.

He clenches them tighter when that hand settles on his shoulder, tight enough to dig his nails into his palms, and glances downwards.]

... Yeah, okay.

[He'll curl up in a corner and let Varian work. That sounds unobtrusive.]

[Varian can already tell he's made a bad move- but if it's from touching Fern at all, or not offering a hug, he can't tell. But he has learned Fern's body language enough to know of yet another misstep. Back to making each other miserable, it is, then.

He leads Fern down into his basement, where, as promised, a half-built robot is sitting on his workbench. It has quite a few legs and could be misconstrued as a spider or some sort of crab, really. There's a bass shell sitting on one side, the robot inside a complex jumble of cogs and pipes. Varian offers a smile, trying to fix something here- he clearly plans to get Fern involved. ]

So, this is one of the robots I've been working on to defend the house a little. Cool, huh?

[If he was feeling even halfway normal Fern would be enthusiastic at the sight of the robot. He loves building things, and he loves robots. NEPTR is, after all, his creation, and his favourite member of his extremely bizarre little family.

But he doesn't feel that enthusiasm. He doesn't even feel any fondness for NEPTR when he looks at it. There is a creeping sensation of discomfort when his mind makes the connection and thinks spider, and that's about it.

He stares at it a little longer.]

Why's it look like that?

I made it look deliberately creepy. It's supposed to be a burglar deterrent. I want them to be creeped out.

[He at least starts to realise Fern's discomfort and remembers the incident with the spiders in the woods. He glances at the robot, then at Fern.]

Do... Fern do you not like spiders?

[He almost asked if Fern was afraid of them, but something in his brain put the breaks on that before he could let it fall out of his mouth. Thanks, brain. ]

[Okay, well, he was going for creepy. Mission accomplished. Fern nods slowly, then takes several steps away.]

I don't know. Does anyone like spiders?

[He's just going to find a table or something that currently does have stuff on to sit on. Then pull his legs up to his chest.]

Finn doesn't like them. He'd have nightmares about them sometimes, but he has nightmares about a lot of junk.

[He was absolutely going for creepy. He huffs in amusement, shrugging his shoulders. ]

Rapunzel does. But Rapunzel loves all living things, so that's not a big shocker.

[The only living thing Rapunzel doesn't like is Uncle Monty, but at least that's mutual. He pauses in his work, catching Fern a worried look. Finn's memories were his, after all. Only stands to reason fears would slip into that, too.]

Do you want me to work on something else? I can if it's making you uncomfortable, no biggie. I've got like, a ton of different projects on the go.

Rapunzel's kind of a weirdo, sometimes. Don't tell her I said that.

[Because princess and... yeah. No.

He looks uncomfortable that he's already managed to somehow interrupt Varian's work, and shakes his head.]

No. It's not even a real spider.

[He'll just deal with his stupid brain being a trash fire, don't worry about it.]

[He laughs because... yeah. Yeah.]

Rapunzel is absolutely a weirdo, but I promise the secret's safe with me.

[Varian watches him for a short moment, before nodding, going back to work- placing cogs within the innards of the machine. He tinkers in silence for a short while- mulling over if he should talk at all. He used to be so sure how to deal with Fern and now he's just... not.]

Do you want to talk about it?

[That's good to hear. Even if she doesn't actually know she's a princess he doesn't want to go around being the kind of person who insults them.

He's otherwise silent for those several minutes, irritated with himself for being so discomforted by this. It shouldn't be a big deal, Finn dealt with actual giant spiders that wanted to eat him and he was fine. Why can't he be fine with a stupid robot that isn't even finished?

When Varian speaks up he hesitates, needing that extra time to push past his frustration and incoherence and come up with the right words for an answer. Eventually he settles on:]

Are you afraid of them?

[Varian pauses in his work, looking at Fern, then at the spider.]

...Not exactly what I meant, but no. I'm not afraid of them. Living things don't bother me, they're just... animals.

[Varian's fears are pretty consistently internal and surround his own shitty, broken psyche. Spiders? Spiders he can handle.]

[Varian is lucky spiders aren't part of his internal, broken psyche!

Fern looks at the robot again, quietly, then hugs his knees a bit tighter.]

I'm just being selfish. This place sucks and part of me is happy he woke up and got away from here.

[The other part of him is devastated he's been abandoned again.]

[Varian stares at his steampunk abomination for a moment, at war with himself. Eventually, he sighs, putting his tools down and walking over to Fern, moving to sit beside him on the table. ]

You're not being selfish.

[Because this, this he gets. He's felt selfish too, at times- aside from Rapunzel and the collected Corona animals, everyone he has here is from another world. What happens when they just... go? Never to remember the people they knew here. It's like they never even existed. ]

He was really important to you. It makes sense you feel awful about him going. B-because once people leave here, you might never see them again. It's not like most of us are even from the same worlds. It's almost like someone dying. Except not here dying. When they leave here, they're gone for good, mostly. I know the thought of losing the people I care about here is one of the many things that keep me awake at night. Like- how.. how are you supposed to make peace that the people you care most about will one day just... go?

[He guesses it's like regular life- he remembers losing his dad vividly. He got him back, but for over a year, the man might as well have been dead. He glances at Fern again, then carefully puts an arm around him, pulling him a little closer. He'd failed to give the hug at the right time before, he doesn't aim to this time.]

You're amongst those people, by the way. The- the ones I can't bear to lose. But I get it. It's... hard. Losing people.

[Abandonment issues are the worst. The rational part of his brain knows Will would never want to leave him willingly, they were family and he was never the kind of person to ditch family he cared about. He was there for him through all the worst parts of Deerington. He cared about him.

The irrational part of his brain is pushing that abandonment complex into overdrive. Will is gone, and he's never coming back. He's alone again. Once the shock has worn off and he's no longer numb he knows he's going to be a mess of anxiety and panic.

Fern fully expects Varian to keep working on the robot while they talk, so when he stops and walks over and hops onto the table with him he looks shocked. None of this is what he wants to hear, of course, but it's better than being fed a blatant lie. It's... sadly, it's bonding over mutual abandonment issues, and it helps to be able to talk to someone else who understands.

When Varian's arm settles around his shoulder Fern instinctively stiffens. The shock from before is nothing compared to what he's feeling now - the awkward shoulder part from earlier had pretty much cemented in his mind that that was the most physical contact that was going to happen between them.

He doesn't pull away. He slumps against Varian, incredibly grateful for the contact.]

It's really hard. This place is bad enough to us, I don't get why it has to get one more dig in with this. Why can't we keep on knowing each other when we wake up? Why do we all have to be from different universes -

[... Oh.

Hold on.

Fern suddenly sits up, as if he was electrocuted.]

Wait.

[Abandonment issues are the freaking worst. The only thing that tops them for Varian is all his validation issues- but if he were honest, they tended to come hand in hand. One almost inevitably followed the other. He wasn't good enough for people, so they left. Or they put up walls. Or they turned their back on him when he needed them most. Sometimes, that all felt like an inevitability.

Varian is less easy with the lies these days. Not when it matters. He's pretty sure he could still run a manipulative ring around someone if he really wanted to- but he's trying to be better. And despite everything, despite how messy and complicated everything was right now, he didn't want to see Fern hurting. It's been far too much in too small a space of time. So he relaxes a touch when Fern doesn't shove back. ]

I don't know. If I knew how this place worked I would have tried to pick apart something by now. I know Peter said he wants to find a way for people to leave, or stay or... or go wherever they-

[As Fern sits up, he nearly falls away from the empty space he was occupying.]

...What?

[The physical comfort is nice. It makes things a tiny bit easier to deal with. Finn has always been an affectionate kid thanks to Margaret's nurturing, and Fern is no different. If he wasn't suddenly realizing there's a solution to his problem right under his nose, he'd be content to stay like that for a while.

Varian's remarks, which a normal person would think as nice but hopelessly futile, cause several things in Fern's mind click neatly into place.]

Oh geez. Oh geez oh geez -

[He's frantically pulling his backpack off, opening it and yanking out a massive, worn book. The Enchiridion. He stares at it in silence for several seconds, then turns the little decorative sword on the cover. This causes two flaps to pop open, like small doors, to reveal nine empty slots.

Oh Globbit, how did he never think of this before? He turns to Varian, holding the book up.]

The Enchiridion! The Enchiridion's a portal to every universe!

[He, of course, knew that when it first showed up in his blessings basket, but he always refrained from considering using it in that way. But with Will gone - this changes things.]

[Varian is decidedly less affectionate. Quirin was never the most tactile of fathers and after his own fall to darkness, Varian was even less inclined to offer physical comfort than he was before. It's not his forte at all.

He watches Fern in confusion, righting himself, listening to what he has to say. He recognises the book- it was among Fern's possessions when he died- it remained in Varian's home for a week, waiting for its owner to return for it. He assumed it was just a book- he never looked any closer than that, it felt wrong. Like an invasion of privacy after he'd already wronged his friend so much already. ]

...It's- the book's a portal? [Well. That's new. He stares at it a little closer.] ...Do you know how it works? It could get us out of here.

[Fern just unceremoniously shoves the thing into Varian's hands so he can take a look. It's very much a book, just old and faded and dog-eared and it's kind of amazing it hasn't started falling apart at this point.]

No! I mean - maybe? I'm not sure anymore. I always figured it would be a bad idea to use a portal in a shared dream, like that's always gone sideways and I figured it might gronk up the dreamscape and all of us somehow.

[So it felt wiser to just not use the Enchiridion as anything aside from a regular book.]

But maybe I'm wrong. Or maybe I just need to not be dead back home, so when I wake up I can smash-and-grab Finn's. He's still got the copy he took from Ice Finn's universe at the Tree Fort!

[Oh! Okay cool, he's just holding the dimensional portal book now. Varian stares at it, turning it this way and that, squinting at it and trying to take it all in.]

I mean, we'd have to be very careful with it. It's all well and good opening a portal on this side, but we need to be sure where they other side comes out at. You get that part wrong, and then you've got troubles.

[One day, he'll have a trip home, build a Stargate and know first hand that you've got to get the exit plan in place too, or you'll end up in nightmare horror limbo, being chased by floating eyeballs. No one wants that.]

...How many Finns are there, exactly? I feel like the answer is "a lot", but still. [He taps the book.] Do you know what goes in these slots?

[Fern nods along, as if Varian is the interdimensional portal expert here even though it's his book. The Enchiridion offers a tiny sliver of hope that he might be able to see Will again, and he's going to cling to it with all his might.]

Right, right. Okay, so a bunch of princesses have gems that fit into the holes. [He jabs a finger at the indentations.] Put those in, and one of the gems from Ice King's crown, and boom! Portal. Or portals.

[He reaches up, anxiously fussing with the edge of his hat a bit.]

There was this whole big deal with Prismo and the Lich and the short story is, I guess when I was Finn I kinda used up my wish with Prismo and made a new universe. Ice Finn's. And some other stuff happened and Finn had to go in and stop the Lich from tricking Ice Finn into opening a portal to every universe with the Enchiridion.

[Which. Reminds him.]

- Uh, there is a Lich hand running around your universe, by the way.

[Varian is so very not the expert. He still needs to get the spoopy Demanituts Booke to get those particular gears a-turning. He nods, taking this in- he can work with this... probably.]

Does it have to be gemstones specific to Ooo? Are they magical or protected? Do you think you could request them in the blessings basket?

[He's already putting plans down. Yes. Yes. He can absolutely work with this.]

...And that is exactly as weird and convoluted as I expected it to be. [Never change, Ooo, you fucking circus world. That last part gives him pause.]

W- what? Like... like literally in my universe?

I have no idea. I could... try? Maybe if I ask for Billy's gem I can get Booko working and he can explain it all.

[He doesn't sound certain about this, though. And he can only lift his hands in an unhelpful, sympathetic gesture. Ooo is weird, Ooo is always weird.

He'd much rather talk about Ooo's weirdness than the incident with the Lich. The only thing stopping him from changing the subject is the fact that Varian really, really deserves to know this to protect his home.]

Um. Yes. I kind of screwed up when I was the Grass Sword - arm. Grass arm. Sliced his hand off over the portal and, long story short, now there's a Lich hand in every universe.

Billy? Is he here? Is he from Ooo too?

[Ooo is so weird, he only ever understands the vaguest of things about the place. He thinks if he went there, he would actually have a coronary. ]

Well. That's- that's sure a thing. I haven't come across any of that but the way Corona is currently I genuinely wouldn't be surprised if it showed up there.

[It's like all the shitty, weirdo magic is just racing to the place.]

N... no. [Fern looks visibly uncomfortable at this, and looks away.] He's dead. I have to try the basket.

[That's going to be an awful thing to have to ask for.]

Right. Well, now you know. He's bad news, and if he can get a hold of any magic then you're all doomed. [He glances down at his hands, twisting his fingers together.] One more reason to get some portals opened up.

Edited 2020-05-30 23:02 (UTC)

Oh. Sorry. That's... not fun.

[Varian nods- because his world is full of really, really dangerous magic and things are bad enough already.]

I think we've got enough doom running around at the moment, don't want any extra. So yeah. Getting rid of that would be ideal.

Yeah, uh. Maybe one thing at a time? Figure out portals, then start slaying Lich hands.

[He'd just like to push the Lich right out of his mind for now. There's enough to worry about without adding him into the mix.]

So what do you think? I'm not crazy, right?

We gotta walk before we can run, yeah. Let's... shelve the Lich hand thing for a little while. Put a pin in it.

[He flashes a smile in Fern's direction.]

Not even a little crazy! We can totally work with this. It's a better lead than anything I've seen so far. This is really helpful.

[When he's in a better frame of mind he'll try to explain the Lich's whole deal. Which... involves opening his mental vault a little, but the threat of the Lich is bigger than his own fears.

For now Varian's encouragement has him perking up a bit. Losing Will has been devastating, no doubts there, and if this offers him an opportunity to bypass his whole abandonment complex then he's going to take it.]

Okay, good. What's the next step? Do you need to do science on this thing? [He taps the book.] Should we keep it under wraps?

[Varian's already poking and podding the book, trying to pull secrets from it, even if he knows what he actually needs. This is amazing. ]

Other dimensional travel! I- I mean I've seen hints of it in Lord Demnaitus' work, but I haven't been able to piece together yet exactly what he was trying to achieve. Something that can cross entire worlds. This is amazing.

[Oh. Right. Fern. He looks up out of Science Mode, blinking owlishly, then clears his throat. Right.]

Sorry. Uh, yeah! We can absolutely science this thing. We might wanna keep it quiet for a little while. Don't want to get people's hopes up if we can't make it work.

[Turns out there's another good reason to have brought up the Enchiridion and its interdimensional portal capabilities: Varian's enthusiasm. It's uplifting to see him so excited about this, and it makes Fern feel a little more confident that they'll figure this out. Like this isn't just some hopeless dream.]

Cool, right. Don't wanna get anyone's hopes up.

[Or get into trouble like they did with their lightsaber attempt.]

I've done interdimensional travel before, but only once to a whole other universe. And never on my own. Who's this Lord Demanitus guy? An alchemist like you?

[Varian's so goddamn happy, Fern. You've made his month. ]

Exactly. Once we have a better idea if we can work this, then yeah, we can absolutely tell people.

[No one wants a repeat of the lightsaber incident. ]

You did? Do you remember it? I'd love to record the experience, maybe we can work from it. [Oh Fern, Fern this is an ERROR. Varian's grin widens.] Oh wow, he was so much more than me. I dream to be like he was. He was the best scientist our world has ever known. He could combine magic and science together to protect our kingdom. I've been studying his work for as long as I can remember.

That's - sure, that's no problem.

[It means having to talk about events he really doesn't want to talk about in general, and opening up to Varian causes a few doubts to bubble up in his mind, but if it means getting Will back then it's worth it. It'll be fine.]

Sounds like a smart guy. Back home PB always said magic was just irresponsible science. Dunno if I ever believed her.

[Sometimes, you just gotta take those bullets for science, Fern.]

He was a genius. If I could even be half the inventor he was, I'd be happy. [He says, despite the fact he's already reverse-engineered a good chunk of his work already. ]

She's not wrong. I'd give it that moniker, too. Magic is just science I haven't worked out, yet.

[Okay, this guy sounds impressive.]

What kinda stuff has he invented?

[Fern is desperately hoping none of it is boring.]

Yeahhh, that talk was what got us tossed into Wizard Prison. Magic users are real finicky about that, turns out.

Okay, so there was [IS] this demon in my world called Zhan Tiri. She and Demanitus were always at odds. She created this magical blizzard to engulf Corona in snow and ice. [His excitement ebbs a little because it was the second coming of that blizzard which started his downward spiral.] He- he stopped it by combining science and magic into this machine under the island. The Demanitus Device. It created enough wind that it pushed the blizzard away.

[Magical death blizzards! Not boring at all.]

That doesn't surprise me. The gang ran into a few of them on the road. They were all awful.

.... Huh.

[The blizzard is what gets his attention. Sorry, Varian.]

Did Zhan Tiri have a crown?

Uh... I'm not sure. I haven't seen any drawings of her. She was a warlock who became a demon so maybe? She might have made one of her own?

[That's a really fuckin weird question, Fern.]

...Why?

['Maybe' isn't a great answer. It's kind of a scary answer, actually, knowing how Simon is, and how his alternate universe self acted.]

'Cause there's a magic crown back home that can do ice magic. Tons of ice magic. Blizzards would be no problem for it. [He scratches his head.] It also drives you bananas. Really, really bananas, like you wouldn't even believe.

Oh.

I mean, I think she was bananas before the whole... blizzard thing? Like she wanted to have power over the magical forces in my world? And when Demantius told her "hey maybe let's not destroy the universe" with them, she kind of decides to try and destroy him. Ergo blizzard. He trapped her in a tree at one point?

[He shrugs.]

Okay you know I talk a lot of trash about Ooo, but sometimes, my world is just as bizarre.

[

Where has he heard of a great evil being trapped in a tree before? Oh, yeah.]

Did... she stay in the tree?

[He offers Fern a sympathetic wince.]

Not a sentient tree. Just... a tree. And eh, after a complicated mess where another blizzard got sent out and the Deamitus Device was used again- one of her followers was released. Like... a legit ghost or... something. She used Rapunzel and a bunch of townspeople to try and get her out of the tree. I don't think it worked? The guys were vague on it and I was kind of planning to murder them all at the time so I wasn't present for the whole ghost lady thing.

[He was too busy planning REVENGE. ]

[Wow, okay, that's definitely a situation that was going on.]

Yikes.

[Sorry Varian, 'yikes' seems accurate for that situation.]

Uh, sounds like a lot was going on. There was - this tree back home, too. Nothing to do with the crown I was talking about, this was something different. It was a prison for someone, too. I kinda screwed that all up, though.

[The similarities are kind of freaky.]

Maybe tree-prisons are just a constant across universes?

['Yikes' is the perfect word in this situation.]

Was it to keep someone bad in? I'm gonna guess yes, but just in case.

Maybe? I think Demanitus was desperate at that point.

As bad as anyone can get, yeah. Billy pummeled the Lich into the sap of the tree that's in the middle of the Candy Kingdom. He was stuck there for hundreds of years.

[Until he messed things up, good job.]

A tree wouldn't be my first pick for a prison.

Ohhhh, this is the creepy hand Lich? Okay, that's fair. You wanna keep someone like that away.

[He gives a shrug.]

I don't think regular prison works so well, either.

[He hated regular prison. It was a pretty awful time before he broke out. ]

[Away or, preferably, dead. Too bad the Lich is immune to being dead or something.

At any rate, he agrees.]

True, true. Glad there isn't one here.

I don't think prison is the Authorities style.

Edited 2020-06-06 19:43 (UTC)

I think that was one of the first things I learned when I showed up here.

Yeah, same here. Running from them was a fun time, turns out they hate it when you blow up trees. Weird.

[Varian the letter CLEARLY STATES that arson is illegal. It's RIGHT THERE.]

They don't? I'll try to remember that.

[Guess who also did not read the stupid letter. He scratches his cheek.]

I tried to kill some guy, and he told me what would happen if I did.

It's a good one to remember! You never know.

[Varian got as far as the fact the legal drinking age was 21 and threw the rest out as stupid future bullshit. ]

Ohhhh yeah, they really hate murder. [No. Wait. That's not... that's not the question he should ask first.] Why were you trying to kill him?

[Nailed it.]

He's a jerk to me.

[Fern no, Fern that is not a reason to try and kill someone.]

[Varian lets out a soft hmmmmmmmm. ]

Don't think that's a reason to murder someone, Fern.

It felt like the right thing to do at the time.

[Fern. Fern, honey no.]

What did he do? I mean, specifically?

[He frowns a little.]

He was making fun of me.

...Yeah, murder's a little extreme a reaction for that one, buddy.

It's not like I wound up killing him. I got a punch in, that was good enough.

...Okay, fair. The punching in that scenario is fine.

Thanks for your approval.

[Look! He can do sarcasm too, sometimes!]

[Sometimes it's really hard to tell if Fern is being sarcastic or not. He's just going to roll with it being sarcasm and hope for the best.]

You're welcome! It comes highly rated.

[Oh Glob he is just rolling his eyes at that.]

In that case I'll treasure it forever.

As well you should, Fern, as well you should!

[He makes an irritated noise, then holds his hand out for the book back.]

Anyone who doesn't is an idiot.

[If it had been anyone other than Fern, there's a small chance he would have run off with the book. But (albeit reluctantly) Varian hands it back over. He didn't steal a powerful, magical artefact, be proud of him Rapunzel.]

No arguments there.

[He stuffs the book into his backpack.]

I'll let you know if I can get a hold of one of the gems for this thing. It should help explain the whole multiverse portal thing.

Please do! I'll see if I can find anything at all in the library I can use. There has to be some books on portals to other dimensions there. There's books for just about everything else, after all.

Sure. We can reconvene later.

[He hesitates, then decides screw it, he might as well just say it.]

Uh - thanks. For this. I feel a lot better.

[Varian offers him a smile- small, but very much genuine. There's worry in his expression, but it's for Fern, rather than because of Fern.]

Don't mention it. I'm always willing to listen if you need to talk. Or not talk, as the case may be sometimes. I get not wanting to be alone when things are... a lot.

Y... yeah. [He's cheered up, but being alone doesn't feel like a great idea.]

You, um. Want to work on that robot together?

[Robot engineering sounds nice.]

Sure thing, Bud. You sure you're okay with the spider? We can work on something else.

If you've got something other than a spider, that'd be great.

Sure! I've been working on this rolling ball that can dispense sleeping gas!

[A pause, as he realises this, once again, makes him sound like a serial killer.]

...You know. For burglars.

['Burglars.' This being Varian, Fern can't tell if he's actually building them to take care of burglars, or. You know, this is old villain habits.

Not that it matters to Fern, though.]

Sounds cool. How big are you making it?

[Robots are robots, and robots are cool.]

[Probably a little of both, if he were honest. Which he isn't being.]

Only about the size of a football. It needs to be big enough to carry the chemicals I need it to, but small enough that it can manoeuvre around easily.

Geez, that's small. You've gotta shove a lot of tech in there for it to work, right? For it to roll and not run into stuff.

I do, but I think I can make the tech small enough. If I can figure out how to get the centrifugal force to work, I can probably do that pretty easily. It's making sure the gas canisters don't release too soon that's the tricky part.

Like a timer? Or sensors, I think NEPTR has sensors to make sure his pies don't burn.

Something like that, yes. A sensor would be ideal, then I could programme it to only release when something is near instead of just wasting gas. Oh, so he used them to gauge temperature? Within the pies? That's clever.

He's made out of a microwave, so whatever sensors those things have. Just amped up 'cause he's sentient and junk, so he's a lot smarter about it than a regular microwave.

OH! I understand now. I took my microwave apart, so I have a pretty good understanding of how they work. You know, that's not a bad idea. That might work.

Yeah! Or - there's gotta be other machines around here with sensors that'll work, if the microwave doesn't.

I bet there is. I just need to do a little more research, it should be relatively easy.

Heyyyyyy. Want to have a make out movie night???

[She meant to type make up. For the movie night they were supposed to have with Penny and Larxene before Penny got weird cocooned or whatever.

Woops.]

[It's been a while since a text from Ruby has made Varian's big brain short circuit and for him to panic and toss his Fluid across the room. He's got a lot better with it recently.

But yeah he absolutely freaks out and tosses his Fluid across the room when he reads that. ]

[Okay. No, he can handle this. He can be COOL. Watch him be SUPER cool.]

It think that might be counter-productive to actually watching a movie, but sure?

[Ruby reads this and finds herself confused. What was counterproductive to watching a movie?

Did she miss something.

She goes back and reads her original message and it's her turn to throw the Fluid across the room.

THAT IS NOT WHAT SHE MEANT TO SAY
HOW DID SHE MISS TYPING THAT!?
WAIT VARIAN IS OKAY WITH IT!?

WHAT THE HECK!?!?!?!?!?]

[OKAY.
SHE CAN DO THIS.
SHE'S GOT THIS.]

MAKE UP MOVIE NIGHT
MAKE UP
BECAUSE BENNY'S AND HER FRIEND MISSED ONE WHILE WEIRD STUFF HAPPENED

[She remembered the space bar.]

Hey, you remembered your space bar!

[Look, at this point he is perfectly entitled to give her shit about it. He's allowed. ]

Those are two very different words that probably shouldn't be mixed up :)

But sure, that sounds nice. Is that the person who's been yelling on the network? Because I'm pretty sure that's more-than-friend yelling. Like 90% sure.

[WOW. SHOTS FIRED.]

First time for everything, right?

Kind of getting used to these intense bouts of FEELINGS all of a sudden. Kind of easier to manage the freak out.

Probably not! I was letting the fluid do the spell checking and apparently that was not the best idea.

It has very different ideas about how to spend a night.

She is. Penny hasn't said much about her and I don't want to press too much. She's pretty new to all this too so I thought I'd let her go at her own pace.

Same for me. Look at us, not freaking out all the time. Yay?

Yeah those are two very different nights and one is definitely not one you' spend with other people.

I think that's smart. Let her figure it out on her own, hear her out when she needs it.

[Because obviously Ruby's an expert at this by now, obviously. ]

Edited 2020-06-06 23:46 (UTC)

We're learning! Woohoo!

Yeah. Also kind of weird and upfront considering we haven't... You know. We just haven't done the first step to that yet.

Are there steps?

I don't know. Either way pretty sudden to drop that on you! SORRY!

I think so? I can't picture her hiding anything from me, but I'm kind of glad she's out there experiencing things for her self.

She didn't get to do that back at home much.

So she's earned the chance to carve out her own path a little, you know?

I honestly have no idea if there are steps. I mean I can tell you about dopamine and oxytocin how the hypothalamus-

...No Varian, don't do that. That's not romantic. Forget I said that part. And it's ok, honestly.

Of course, she has. I'm sure she'll do fine. She's pretty nice, she sent a message introducing herself to me. She was pretty excited about the inventing thing.

Uh.... Right. It went right over my head so easy peasy to forget that.
Just like the steps.
Except they didn't go right over my head. I'm not back flipping over any staircases today.
At least not yet. It actually sounds kind of fun.

Penny is like the nicest person I have ever met in my life. Which is saying something because like I'm pretty nice and I know a bunch of nice people.

Oh gosh. She would love all the inventing stuff. It'll remind her so much of being at home. Please tell me you two are going to hang out because that sounds great!

Don't do the stair flip thing. That's how people get concussions. And it's fine. We'll work it out.

You're extremely nice so for someone to be higher on the niceness scale than you is pretty impressive. She seemed really sweet.

I'd love to. I'm sure she has plenty of insights into Remnant tech that I can work with. She sounded pretty knowledgable on the whole thing. Something about her dad being an inventor? Specialised in robotics?

[Which is WILD to him. Man, what he wouldn't give for his father to even have a sliver of an interest in what he does. Also, yup, still UTTERLY unaware about the robot thing.]

What if there's like a monster or something and it's a cool way to avoid getting attacked? Then can I do it?

Yeah. We will figure it out. I believe in us!

Trust me. I don't say people are nicer than me lightly. I have tried to out happy her and failed.

Like feel like if anyone is going to know anything about robotics here. It's going to be Penny. Her dad is like the absolute best where I come from. Have you got a good look at my sisters arm?

He built that for her. It was state of the art as of last year.

[Ruby was not about to blow the robot thing for Penny. She had almost done it once when the Fluid's were acting up. Thankfully Peter was cool and didn't pry about that. It was a choice for Penny to make.]

I guess the stair thing is okay in that scenario but please don't land on your skull. All the good stuff's in there.

That's pretty extreme. She might be happier than Rapunzel, and that's a terrifying concept in-of-itself.

I haven't had a good look at it. I'm trying to resist the urge just to grab it and start testing it on account of the fact I want her to like me. But that's cool! It looks pretty impressive, design-wise. I've never seen prosthetics like it.

[Mostly because the only person with prosthetics he's met is Hookfoot and he... literally has a hook foot. ]

Deal. Pretty sure my lucky crayon is sitll up there. I'd hate for anything to happen to it.

[She's kidding.]

From what I've seen of Rapunzel it's a pretty close competition. We might have to put this to the test one day.

Okay. That's fair. I think she likes you so far. Or at least I haven't seen her tossing darts at a picture of your face yet. Nothing on her punching bag either. So I think you're good. It's good to play it safe, just in case.

Oh my gosh it's awesome. It even has a built in shot gun. <3 Gosh, I wish I had one like it.

You sure don't wanna lose that.

[God, he hopes she's kidding.]

That's absolutely terrifying and yet my morbid curiosity makes me want to see how it goes.

I will take that! That's good. Good steps! Not wanting to murder or punch me.

Wow, really? Way to go her, still keeping the good fight. I'm impressed.

We've been together so long it just wouldn't be the same if it was gone.

[Thank goodness she is pretty sure she is.]

We should make an event out of it.

Look at you getting on my families good side. :D

Yusssss. It's like literally one of the best things in the whole world. You can't keep her out of the fight for long.

Well, I wouldn't want to break up the dream team.

That somehow makes it worse, but yes. Lets.

I definitely got that impression with her.

[It's freaking date night. These two have plans to do something that doesn't involve monsters or their sad sappy backstories or being horribly traumatized.]

Hey. Are you about ready to go?

I have something cool to show you.

[It's freaking date night!! Finally, they can have one night where they're allowed to be Normal Teenagers. ]

Yup. All set.

How cool are we talking here? So I can prepare appropriate levels of enthusiasm. Give a scale of one to ten.

[There's no response over the Fluid. A few seconds later a hand suddenly appears from behind him to cover his eyes.]

I'm gonna say like an eight.

[If Ruby wanted to give Varian the gift of a heart attack for their first proper date, well, she did great! Varian lets out a panicked yelp for a second until he hears her voice. Okay. Okay, he's not being murdered.

Automatically, he puts his hand out to one side to see if there are any rose petals to catch- her semblance doesn't go that far, but maybe she was outside, he doesn't know. When there aren't any, he lets out a confused noise. ]

...Were you just hiding in my house this entire time?

[That is kind of what she was going for. She let's out howling laugh and releases her grip on his face. There's no sign of any rose petals and well Ruby with some help from her friends has managed to get herself looking pretty spiffy for the evening. She Yang even helped her with her make up, which she tends to go without almost all the time. She's just got a separate pair of red converse shoes in her hand.]

No! Wow! Give me a little bit more credit than that.

[She points down at her feet which are currently clad in a pair of ruby jeweled ballet slippers. That... Well they fashionable at the cost of being uncomfortable to wear. ...And Ruby didn't do well with fancier shoes on a good day.]

These were in my basket the other day. They're pretty spiffy. I can teleport to different places with them but I'm still trying to figure out just how they work.

[Sorry Ruby, you're going to have to give him a second. Because she really does look very nice and while he was expecting something he definitely wasn't expecting the flippy-floppy heart feelings that came with it. He made an effort of his own, there was an attempt made to tame his hair. It's probably not going to last the evening, but an attempt was made anyway.

Regardless he's just going to... stare for a second. ]

Y-you look really pretty.

[Fucking flawless.]

[He clears his throat, pulling himself out of that particular awkward nosedive because she has brought something cool. He arches one eyebrow, his lips curving into a smile at the... very not Ruby Rose style.]

Nice to know they care about your fashion choices here. You can be honest, how much do you hate the sparkly, fancy shoes right now?

[He gets it. He doesn't judge. He likes her just the way she is.]

So they teleport? That's impressive. I wonder what sort of range you can get on them.

[Oh. Jeez. Seeing Varian pause like that gets her cheeks to heat up. Her family and friends from home had all put in an effort to dress her up for this. She had not expected to leave Varian quite that dumbfounded.]

I-uh-yeah-t-thanks!

[Oh and she definitely did notice that he had made the attempt. She really is charmed. She grins a big dopey grin.]

Honestly like they are are a .5 out of ten and that's being generous!

[As evidenced by the fact that she is promptly taking them off and slipping into the sneakers she brought with her. They aren't big honking boots but they're comfortable and easy to wear. She drops the Ruby slippers on his work bench.]

Yeah. They teleport and a few other things too. But they're weird to use so I'm still figuring it out.

I'm not sure the range but they seem to take me to places that I like to go to. So I'm not complaining.

[They had the desired effect, her family and friends. Varian utterly adores garden variety Ruby, but he'd be lying if seeing her made up didn't give him all kinds of awkward teenage emotions.

The slippers are an interesting diversion from all of that, and a part of him wants to have at and try and work them out here and now. The slippers. Not the emotions. He stares at them on his workbench and his hands twitch.

He steels himself, takes a deep breath and turns away from them to give Ruby his full attention instead, offering a lopsided smile.]

Something we for sure need to test out... at a later date. We've got a better one to enjoy right now.

[Well that's good. It made Ruby feel more comfortable with the luck even though it certainly was not her normal style.

She did leave the shoes there for a reason. She knew he'd want to tinker and figure out just what they could do and she was certainly interested in doing that too. But she certainly had other priorities tonight and she hadn't let herself get dressed up like this to have them change.

The fact that Varian obviously feels the same way brings bright smile to her face and she offers him her hand.]

Yeah. They'll be here when we get back.

Let's do this.

[There will be so much tinkering later. He's going to understand how the sparkly magical shoes work if it kills him. But that can be a later thing. For the first time in... basically ever, there's something more important than science right now.

He grins, taking the proffered hand, giving it a little squeeze. ]

Yeah, let's do this. I'm uh, really looking forward to it.

Me too. ...Like a whole lot.

[She returns that squeeze and in the next instant they've taken off in a cloud of rose petals. Now she definitely couldn't get them to the park with just that so there's a trip on a catbus involved too but they arrive at Staggering Heights Theme Park and purchase tickets to get in.

Ruby's eyes scan the place with bright eyed wonder before settling back over on Varian.]

So what should we do first? Try out some of the games? Rides? The roller coaster looks pretty cool and the fun house looks like ...fun?

[Varian's looking pretty impressed himself. He's never seen anything like this before. Carnivals back home were... well, not this. Once again, the future has really stepped up and impressed him. ]

What's a roller coaster? And a fun house for that point?

[Sorry, Ruby, your Historic Boyfriend understands exactly 10% of what's going on in this place. It doesn't have an effect on his enthusiasm, though. This is pretty cool. He grins in her direction.]

You've got more experience here, I'll trust in your vaster knowledge.

[Ruby just stares for a moment. It's not Varian's fault he was from a point in time where Roller Coasters didn't exist. It just baffled her the amount of things the past didn't have. No wonder he got into science.]

Honestly, it's going to be way better if I show you.

[Just taking his hand and pulling him along toward the line up for the roller coaster. Once they get into line Ruby's practically bouncing with excitement. Varian should be able to see tracks up above them and the cart pulling everyone along.]

I won't let you down. We're going to have a blast tonight.

[He's behind on so many things and it's a constant source of frustration to him. He's used to being the smartest person in the room at any given time. These days, he's a little behind the curve because he's at least a century or two behind everyone else.

He follows her regardless, having the utmost faith in her (the fool). He looks up at the track, trains are still on the cusp of being brought into the world, so he can't quite make the association, but he's got a big 'ol science brain in that head of his. ]

Oh! It uses potential and kinetic energy and... gravity? That's really impressive! [A little snort.] I'm guessing the centrifugal force keeps everyone from falling out.

[Every day is a learning day with Varian.]

[Given Ruby's fighting style, she really should know all of the words he's saying and what they mean. Unfortunately he's dealing with Ruby "I don't really think about it, I just do it." Rose. She on the fly comes up with plans to launch herself like a slingshot into giant monsters.

She smiles brightly and gives a nod.]

Yeah. All that. It goes super fast and everything gets stuck to it while it goes. Kind of like how all my ammo doesn't fall out when I'm dashing around.

[Nailed it.]

It's also super fun. Like the best kind of fun.

[Just continuing to drag him down the line until they manage to get to a cart. She'll take a seat down and gesture for the spot beside her.

She'll pull down the guard rail once he's taken a seat.]

[It's okay, Ruby, he will never not find the "I don't really think about it, I just do it" mentality utterly charming. It's the polar opposite of how he functions and it's always refreshing to see. You only learn by exploring the unfamiliar, after all.]

Yes. Exactly that.

[There's zero condescension in his tone, as it might be with other friends. She really did hit the nail on the head, in her own Ruby-esque way. It's only when the guard rail goes down that Varian realises maybe this might be a little dangerous. ]

So... this... uh. It's safe, right?

Awww yeah!

[Look at her. Knowing smart things. She's got this.

She's a little surprised that he's only now starting to have second thoughts about this but smiles and put a hand on his shoulder.]

I mean normally yes, but this is Deerington so who knows?

Tell you what. If it ends up not being safe we'll semblance out of here and get us to the ground in no time flat. That's why they invented landing strategies.

[Helping???

Oh and there's a lurch as the cart starts to move.]

[Ruby. Ruby please. He lets out a slightly nervous laugh as the cart starts to move.]

Ahaha- please remember I don't have an aura so a "landing strategy" for me involves actually ploughing into the ground and not getting up again.

[, Of course, there's no escape now, so up the rollercoaster goes on its incline. Varian peers over the edge. It's fine. It's fine. Once you've stared down a two hundred foot drop everything else is small change but he wasn't moving at that point.]

Iiiiit's cool. I'm totally cool. Ha-hah, I got this.

[She laughs too except hers is much more focused on the excitement of being on a roller coaster than of possible death.]

I know, I know! Relax. I'm not going to just let you fall. Promise.

[She tries to sound reassuring despite the giddy giggles as the cart is slowly pulled up the track toward a very large descent.]

You do. You've totally got this. Aw man, this is going to be awesome!

[They're seconds before before they reach the peak of the ride. That's quite the view of Deerington, huh Varian?]

[It's very hard to have faith in a person who is laughing like that. Still, he always has the utmost faith in Ruby, for better or for worse. ]

I'm holding you to that promise. Like. Life-bound promise right there.

[He looks over the edge and that's- okay it's terrifying but it's also amazing. Like being in a hot air balloon. Except... you know. For the drop they're teetering over.]

Huh, that is quite the view and- [and then the cart starts to move] oh and there's gravity!!!

[He's just going to (bravely) scream his poor little head off as the rollercoaster DROPS like a rock. And, you know. For the ride. Really. Lots of screaming. ]

[She could have started him off with some easy like a Ferris Wheel, something where they could actually enjoy the view before plummeting at high speeds down a track. She hadn't, she was throwing him right into the deep end with no regrets. She's kind of a monster.

When they hit the drop she's screaming too but it's less of a terrified scream and more out of excitement with a weird howling cackle mixed in there. She's having the time of her life while one arm grips the guard and the other grips Varian's shoulder. She's at least conscious that he's freaking out about this.

As if the drop and the high speeds and the twists and turns were not enough there's a couple big old loops that involve them going upside down coming up. Good luck with that Varian.]

[She is absolutely a monster, and yet he loves her anyway. He knows what he's getting into with her and her... adrenaline-junkie ways and he follows her all the same.

The grip on his shoulder id vaguely comforting. He'd probably be more comforted if they weren't hurtling towards certain fucking death and OH GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE FUTURE WHY DO PEOPLE THINK THIS IS FUN?!!!!. Maybe after his feet are back on solid, blissful ground and his heart rate comes back to normal he can appreciate the science behind the loops.

But right now he's just going to continue his panicked screaming because that seems to be a perfectly reasonable coping mechanism thus far. ]

Edited 2020-06-26 20:05 (UTC)

[Ruby meanwhile is having the time of her life. It's all the fun of not zipping around at high speeds with none of the death that reaching those speeds in a fight usually gets her. She's pretty darn impressed that Varian has managed to stay conscious throughout all of this too.

He's a champ. That's for sure.

It's not too long after that the ride abruptly slows way the heck down, because that's super healthy once someone's velotized, right? And the cart shuffles them along the rest of the track until they come to a rough stop and the guard is raised back up.

Ruby let's out a cheer and shakes Varian shoulder a with excitement.]

Wasn't that amazing!?

[Did she even notice all the screaming?]

[He's a champ. He's a winner. The cart jerks to a stop and it's only that the guard rail raised that Varian released his death grip on it. It's a shame he went through all that effort to actually try and brush his hair for once, because now it's back to looking like he's been dragged through a hedge backwards- without the goggles on top of his head to contain it, it's just going everywhere.

He's kind of having a thousand-yard stare for a moment. You might need to get him out of the cart, Ruby. He's fine. It's fine.]

I need a minute to get enough cognitive function to describe that unholy terror I just experienced.

[MAYBE amazing?]

[That's definitely a look he's got going on there now. Once Ruby realizes it doesn't look like he's going to be moving on his own she gives a sort of sympathetic giggle.]

Okay there, bud. You take your minute, I've got you.

[She leans over and just hauls him up over her shoulder like the little grape he is and starts to carry him out from the ride back out into the park. She starts looking around for a bench for them to take a seat at before they continue exploring.]

Unholy terror in a good way, right?

[He manages a soft 'urp' before he;s picked up and slung over her shoulder like he weighs nothing. He doesn't complain, though, it's fine, she can carry him anywhere she wants. And it does at least pull him out of his terror-stupor.]

Undecided on that one. I think I can see why you'd like it though. It's very... adrenaline pumping?

[He gives her back a little pat.]

I think I'm okay now. Able to use my legs and words and everything.

[Don't give her ideas Varian. She doesn't need those. She might have to fireman carry him the next time they go out for a run and he gets exhausted mid-way through.]

It is! It's almost like my semblance but less being a bunch of rose petals. It's a blast.

[Oh. She'll take pat and gently place him down on the ground. She'll even try to help with his now a crows nest of a hair do with her fingers. It's not much but she's trying??]

Good. Glad to have you back, captain.

Why don't we try and find something a little more your speed this time around?

[When his legs no longer work, he will appreciate this. Besides, the fact she can probably benchpress him is one of the things that gives him the heart flutters. He's got simple needs sometimes, and those needs happen to include a very strong girlfriend. ]

...Y-yeah, okay, sure. I can actually see that connection.

[He gives a lopsided smile at her brave attempt to fix his hair. Maybe it was the fact he legitimately thought he was going to die, maybe it was their sudden close proximity, or maybe it was that she'd just carted him around like he weighed nothing. It could well be it was a combination of all three. Regardless, the thought kiss her slips into his consciousness. It's not the first time he's thought that far from it- but his usual concoction of nerves and self-loathing usually put paid to such thoughts.

But he feels more than a little emboldened with all that adrenaline coursing through his system, so he leans up, pressing his lips against hers before the rest of his brain wakes up and turns against him. ]

[Ruby hadn't put much thought into what she was doing. She was just trying to help out after traumatizing her boyfriend. She was used to the adrenaline and the rush of speed from all of her battles. She however, was not used to being kissed.

When he leans in and his lips touch hers her silver eyes pop open wide with surprise and shock. There is a sudden fear as she has absolutely no idea what to do but it washes away quickly, replaced by a very warm and pleasant feeling that bubbles up from head to toes.

Her lips press back against his briefly and her hands take hold of his shoulders as her legs go wobbly and she tries to steady herself. It doesn't really work and instead she just kind of drags him down with her as she falls backwards into the grass.]

[This is new ground for both of them. Honestly, Varian hasn't got a single clue what he's doing. He usually tries to route at least some of his decisions (even the bad ones) in some carefully crafted science babble first. But this time he's utterly winging it and definitely didn't think very far ahead.

For a brief, horrible second, he thought he'd made a huge misstep. But then she kisses him back and he thinks maybe not. He only gets that momentary moment to relax though because then they've fallen on the grass and he lets out a soft 'oof', pulling back a little. Well. That was a disaster. He clears his throat awkwardly, blushing up a storm. ]

Um- s-sorry. That... that could have gone better.

[Ruby needs a minute to remember how to breath and function as a human being after that. She stares blankly at both him and the sky as he pulls back, her face about as red as her cape that she's lacking at the moment.

She blinks a few times after he speaks.]

Huh-Wha-blugh?!

[She shakes her head. She's back in reality.]

N-no! That was fine-good-really nice actually.

[Yep. Collapsing after your first kiss. She nailed that one.]

[Welcome back to reality, Ruby- it's one heck of an awkward place. Varian's been in something of a panic spiral, thinking he catergorically messed this up. So to hear she didn't hate it does at least get rid of some of the nerves. Some. He's still an awkward turtle, after all. ]

Oh-oh. [He does offer a nervous smile.] Thaaaat's good. Me too. Uh- that it was really nice. ...For me! Uh... obviously. B-because you already said it was nice for you. So it's nice that it's nice?

[Fucking poetry. ]

[Wow. What happened here since she zoned out? She doesn't remember it being so awkward before she left. Okay. It was pretty awkward but this is a whole new kind of awkward.

They had talked about kissing a few times. She just hadn't expected it to feel quite like that. It was nice and really fluttery and not at all what she had expected.]

Y-yeah. Great, uh- really-really nice. We're right here on the right track. Super swell.

[Jeez. She has no idea where to go with this. ...But part of her is a little curious about that feeling again. ...And well if Varian could give it a shot than so could she.

So she sucks in a breath, and with her shoulders still on Varian moves to try and pull him in so she can try giving him a kiss.

...Except she leads with her forehead which ends up smacking right against Varian's.

Ow. Ow.]

[They're doing so well. They're honestly doing perfectly. Great job, kids. ]

Super swell.

[He definitely wasn't ready for Ruby to go in for another kiss- he's still reeling from the first attempt- and all the weird, fuzzy, tingly feelings that came with it. As such, he isn't prepared when she leans up and is in no position to protect his poor head.

Ruby, that's where all the good stuff is, come on. He yelps flopping back off her, putting his hand to his head. Oh good. Black dots. Sometimes love literally hurts. He'll just lay in the grass for a second, don't mind him. ]

Ow. My skull.

[If it makes Varian feel any better Ruby isn’t in much better condition here. Her Aura wasn’t activated so she’s feeling the full brunt of that too. She yelps and curls up on her side, rubbing her forehead with both hands and kicking her feet in a frantic flurry.]

Ow ow ow! That didn’t go according to plan! Not at all!

[Sorry kids, you played yourselves.]

[Well. This is a disaster. He's just gonna keep lying there for a little while longer, it's fine.]

Give me a sec, I'm waiting for everything to stop being orange. Did anyone ever tell you that you have a really hard skull?

[Romantic. Still, he can't help but chuckle at the absurdity of it all.]

Wow. We're really bad at this.

[Ruby's cheating and starts to use her aura to start healing that her headache, but it's still going to take a second before she stops seeing stars.]

Don't worry. I'm in the same boat.

Y-yeah. Weiss, A lot of my enemies, Uncle Qrow, Yang, Dad. Probably some other people.

...Wait some of those might have been thick skull not a hard skull... Is there a difference?

[Look. That gets a laugh out of her too but she raises a hand to vaguely slap his way. ]

You're telling me...

That played out so much better in my head.

[That's SUPER cheating, Ruby!! Wow, rude!!! ]

Oh good, so long as you're aware.

[He tries to roll away from that slap but he doesn't really get anywhere. He deserved it anyway, a laugh bubbling out of him.]

I mean, in hindsight I could see where you were going with that? It was a good plan on paper. We just tripped at the last hurdle.

[As long as he doesn't see the flash of red around her forehead. It's all good.]

Painfully.

[She rolls over onto her back. She's starting to regain her senses so she just lets herself laugh along with him.]

I was just missing the diagram with where to aim. Better luck next time?

[She starts to pull herself up to her feet and offers him a hand.]

[He doesn't, she gets away with it. The perfect crime! He'll take that hand, allowing himself to be pulled back to his feet. At least the black dots have gone.]

Better luck next time. We should probably try something a little less injury-inducing. We can go ruin come carnies days if you like. I know how to beat a lot of rigged carnival games- which is about the only thing in this place I do recognise.

[She keeps her hand wrapped around his once she pulls him up. She likes the guy and doesn't want to let him go, so sue her.

Her expression brightens right up at the mention of the ruining the carnie games.]

You should have mentioned you recognized those sooner. It might have saved us a head injury in the long run.

[There's an awkward pause as she starts to walk toward the games. Letting Varian take point this time around.]

N-not that I didn't enjoy what happened before-but y'know.

[He is very much okay with still holding her hand. He slides his fingers between hers, giving her hand a little squeeze. This is actually fine.]

And let you miss out on a chance to traumatise me for the rest of my days? Pfft, nah.

[And, you know, the awkward kissing attempts. Those too. He leads her towards the carnival games, dropping his voice to a conspiring whisper. ]

Anyway. See the basket toss over there? It's figuring out how to use kinetic energy to your advantage. If you aim for the middle, all that energy is still in the ball, so it comes right back out. But if you hit it just on the top of the rim, that gets rid of it all and the ball will land right in the middle of the basket.

[She'll return that squeeze and let out a laugh.]

As long as you know what you're in for~!

[She leans in as he starts to explain the game to her. ...She can't help but feel her face start to heat up after having just been in such close proximity with him for that kiss. Luckily the bump on her forehead is enough to keep her focused.

She gives a small nod. Aim for the rim she could do that.]

Easy peasy, pumpkin squeazy. I've got this.

[She approaches the counter and slams her money down.]

We're going for the gold here!

I think I've got a good idea.

[He clears his throat, trying to dispel any remaining awkwardness. This is fine, he's fine, they got this. He grins as she slams her money down, well she's got moxie, he can give her that much.]

You've got this. You can win one of those... really creepy rabbits. Jeez.

[Do they even WANT to win a creepy rabbit? That's the question here. ]

Creepy bunny, here we come!

[Ruby takes a ball in hand and steps back to get a bit of space.]

Okay. Here goes nothing!

[Her eyes focus on the rim of the basket and she pulls her arm back and tosses the ball toward it. Just like Varian had said it hits the rim and falls right in.]

Yes!

[Small. She looks to Varian and points to one of the LARGER creepy rabbits on the top shelf and then to him.]

Think I can get top prize?

[He knew you could do it, Ruby! He had faith in you.]

See? Can't beat basic science.

[Science will win every time, suck it carnies!!! He flashes her a buck-toothed grin.]

Hey, if you wanna shoot for the giant creepy nightmare toy, then who am I to stand in your way. Live your creepy rabbit dreams, Ruby.

[Maybe Varian was the Ultimate Believer the whole time?]

Your science and my arm combined are the ultimate weapon.

[She returns that grin with a bright smile of her own as she steps back two steps and makes another toss. She's just showing off now as the second ball goes right in the basket.]

I'm gonna name him Mr.Fluffers and he's gonna be the best freaky rabbit friend anyone could ask for.

[...And she's definitely not going to freak people out by having it hovering over their beds while they sleep. Nope. Not at all.]

[Maybe he was!!!]

Carnies everywhere will learn to fear us.

[He's so pleased for you, Ruby. You live your best life- you go ahead and psychologically torture your housemates with that terrifying fucking rabbit. ]

I mean, the name obviously fits him. I'd probably make sure he's locked somewhere before you go to sleep at night in case he comes alive and tries to murder you. He looks the type.

As they should!

[Okay. She's gotta sink in one more ball to get the prize she's after. She takes another big step back because heck. She's darn proud of her throwing arm and she's not going to mess this up.]

Huh. Maybe we should get him a crate or something. I was thinking of keeping him at your place so I'd have a pal when you're busy experimenting on stuff.

Heck. We might be able to experiment on him.

[And the toss! And it's in! She pumps her fist with excitement.]

Awww yeah! Nailed it!

What? Ruddiger's not enough of a pal for you?

[He'd be insulted that his company, while he's experimenting, isn't enough, but he knows damn well that when he's in Science Mode his antisocial skills are knocked up to eleven at least. Still, she's enjoying herself and WINNING and that's what matters- even if the carnie is looking pretty pissy.]

Lucky me, guess I get that horror sitting in my lab. You know. I wonder if it's actually cursed or something. I'm sure we can test for that.

[Kids. Kids, no.]

He is! You both are, but sometimes you need a weird creeper doll to cuddle through the night.

[Don't mind Ruby as she approaches the counter with wide arms to accept her new huge best friend and she gives it squeeze. Jeez. The carnie is giving the two of them an awfully big glare so she'll make sure they round the corner before she shows off Mr.Fluffers to Varian properly.]

We'll get him a chair and everything so he looks like he fits right in.

[She gives Mr.Fluffers a curious look.]

Probably worth looking into. Are you cursed Mr.Fluffers? Huh? Are you buddy?

I wouldn't want to ditch you with a cursed doll.

Maybe sometimes you need that, you weirdo.

[But he says that with the utmost affection. It's a weirdo with a lot of love behind it. He snorts softly.]

Please don't ask it that, it might actually answer you back and contrary to popular belief I do sleep sometimes and that would definitely keep me awake for... pretty much ever.

[Jesus, Ruby, it's so creepy. ]

But hey, if it makes you happy, I'm sure we can run some tests on it.

Have you ever even tried it? Don't knock it until you give it a shot.

[Her comeback is also filled with a lot of playful care. Who knows? He might grow to love Mr.Fluffers just as much as she does.

Or it will haunt his dreams. That's basically the same thing, right?]

Well if he answers that saves us some time on tests, right? We'll know right away if he's cursed or not.

Oh wait. The tests are half the fun, right?

[She looks back at Mr.Fluffers.]

No spoilers, buddy.

[She turns back over to Varian.]

So. Are there any other games you want to give a try? Or is one nightmare stuffed animal enough for you?

No, no. I'm pretty content with just knocking it, thanks.

[It's definitely going to haunt his dreams. Thanks, Ruby, you're the best. ]

And yes the tests are half the fun. Knowing all the answers from the get-go takes all the exploration out of it, and we don't want that.

[He eyes the scowling carnie, considers their survival chances, and shrugs.]

Iiiiii think if we keep winning at the carnival games the carnies might actually murder us.

Awwwwww. Come on! come on!

[Clearly if she keep trying she'll just break his will down, right?

She glances back to Mr.Fluffers.]

Alright. You heard, Varian. You keep your mouth shut until we're ready to beat the answers out of you, you hear?

[Eyes shift back to Varian.]

That should keep him quiet.

[She goes over her their options briefly than nods.]

That normally wouldn't stop me, but we could always try something else and come back later.

[She looks over what they haven't tried yet. ...She doesn't really want to kill him with another face paced ride so she looks for something a bit more low key.]

Uh-... There's the Ferris wheel? ...I've never been in a tunnel of love before... Do either of those sound fun?

[She sure can try, but he doesn't seem all that swayed. A smirk does pull at his lips, though- he's clearly amused by her attempts if nothing else.]

Nope. And I'm sure that'll work. Thanks for making the rabbit even more terrifying than it already is.

[Maybe he'll just not sleep in... ever now. It's not really a big change from his normal life, anyway.]

True, but I'm pretty sure 'being kicked out of the theme park' is something we want to aim for around the end of the date. You know. For funsies.

[Guys, guys please. Varian looks up at the Ferris wheel, considers. ]

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmnope I think I'm still good at avoiding anything that goes high still. I don't know what a tunnel of love is and I'm a little afraid to ask?

It might work? And no problem!

[She didn't have any reason to doubt the rabbit yet at the very least. She shoves it closer toward Varian's face. She shifts it from side to side and in a creepy and cutesy voice she makes it say.]

Don't worry, Varian. I won't murder you! But you might die -----

--of fun! It'll be completely unrelated!

[She is not helping this at at all but she's trying.

She can't hold back a snort.]

Deal. We're definitely getting kicked out of her by the end of the night.

[She holds Mr.Fluffers in one arm and then wraps the other around Varian's shoulder as he refuses to go on the Ferris wheel.]

Okay. That's fair. No high fliers. Got it.

...Honestly I don't know what it is either. Never been in one before and didn't really care. It just seems like a date thing?

Might as well cross it off the check list?

Dying of fun. However did you guess the exact way I wanted to be shunted off this mortal coil?

[It's better than dying from dropping from a great height which is still a pretty high likelihood for him back home. Still, he offers a wry smile.]

Great, that's a thing to aim for. I'm keeping a list of places I'm banned from. I wanna take out the roller skate rink next.

[Because everyone needs a hobby. He gives a soft hum, it makes logical sense. And he's sure it can't be too terrible, right? It just looks like a boat that goes into a tunnel.]

I mean, I think so? It sounds like it's a date thing? We should probably give it a try and if it's awful... well, lesson learned!

[She holds up the rabbit to her face again, mimicking the voice.]

Oh! -Uh- I just assumed from the big dopey grin and- Uh-

[Okay. She's got nothing for this one.]

How else is a big creepy bunny doll going to kill someone!?

[She's laughing at her own stupid routine when she pulls the rabbit back down.]

Is it still just the movie theater or have you managed to get yourself banned from anywhere else?

[Her eyes go wide with delight.]

We should definitely try out the roller rink next. That could be fun!

[She leads them along to the tunnel of love and... yeah it does look like it's just a little boat ride. Seems harmless enough.]

I've got like ten bucks on this thing being kind of awful. Those boats don't look they get any speed.

We might learn this lesson pretty quick.

Darn it, and here's me thinking I'd hidden the dopey grin really well. Cruses.

[Still, he sounds pretty amused- even with the threat of death looming from an adorable but insanely creepy bunny doll.]

Just the movie theatre at the moment. I wanna check out all the neon in the roller rink. See if I can jimmy any of it away so I can do some tests on it.

[Varian, no. Don't commit crimes. He walks with her, cants his head at the boat.]

Okay, I'll take that bet. I mean. I agree with you, but you never know. Maybe the tiny two-person boat going into the tunnel of ominous darkness in the horror-town amusement park might not be awful?

[He doesn't believe it, not really, not at all. Something is probably going to eat them. Still, he'll head to the boat, offering a hand he knows she doesn't need to get in but he's a goddamn gentleman. ]

Better luck next time, villainous fiend.

[She tilts her head and thinks about that for a moment. Then she gets an idea.]

Oh! That's a great idea! Imagine if we could get some neon and that in the warehouse! Death traps and robot fights in neon lights! That would be freakin' awesome!

Let's do it! Let's do it to it!

[Don't mind her casually agreeing to crimes.]

I'm going to be disappointed if there's no crazy two headed monster waiting to eat us in there.

[She's a simple girl of simple tastes, but she also doesn't mind being treated like a lady. So she'll accept Varian's hand and in her best Weiss impersonation that does involve plugging her nose she'll say. ]

Oh! Thank you, kind sir!

[And then she'll let herself get settled into the boat. Setting the terror rabbit behind her for the time being.]

[He'll let out a fake (and yet utterly convincing) "mwahahaha" at that. ]

See? We can make it look really special. I just need a little bit, to figure out how it works, and then I can replicate it.

[Ruby, only you would wish for crazy two-headed monsters. Can't they just have a nice boat ride? Is that too much to ask for?]

...That doesn't surprise me at all. And you're welcome, m'lady.

[He moves to sit beside her, casting the terror rabbit a look. Oh good, that's not gonna be creepy behind them or anything. The boat lurches off into the tunnel and they're met with... complete darkness. The boat just merrily sloshes in the pitch darkness for a few moments, occasionally bumping against the wall, when eventually Varian speaks up.]

Ok, Rubes, you're going to have to help me here, because I don't know if this is a from the past thing or a me thing or if this is generally just weird all round? Is- is this supposed to be romantic? I'm confused.

[The ride... Is not what Ruby was expecting at all. To be honest she had no idea what she was expecting. What she did know was that she was really hoping for that monster to show up right about now.

...Except it didn't show up. And they were just left in the dark.]

I'm going to level with you right now, Varian. I have no idea what's going on here.

Do people actually enjoy stuff like this?

[Don't mind her as she reaches her hand into the water and tries to paddle the boat along faster.]

Uh! Is anyone there!? I think the rides broken!

[Varian might not have been hoping for a monster, but he was hoping for more than this. He lets out a soft scoff of annoyance because he's not sure how anyone can enjoy this. ]

Maybe if they like sitting in the dark and doing nothing.

[He rummages around in his pockets, finally pulling out a small test tube. What? Everyone brings chemicals with them on dates, right? That's normal. He gives the test tube a shake, and it starts to glow luminous blue. He raises it a little, to get a better idea of their surroundings. ]

...Wow, we're literally just floating in an empty tunnel.

[Yeah. Ruby's getting pretty bored here. If it wasn't obvious by her tapping feet and the paddling with her hand to try and get the boat to speed up.]

And who the heck would like that? Okay. Blake or Weiss might be okay with this but they aren't here.

[Ruby had tried to bring Crescent Rose along with her but her sister had insisted that she didn't. She's not sure what that was all about.

...She just stares at the blank and empty tunnel all around them as the light goes on.]

Seriously? Is the ride like just not finished?

This is literally the worst.

[She starts to shake the edges of the boat to make it rock back and forth.]

Like at least add in some waves or some rapids.

[That's just rude, Yang. What if something tried to kill them on their date? You have to be prepared!!!]

I don't know??? I don't understand the appeal of floating in a boat in the dark? What's romantic about this?

[He decides, seen as they're going to just float along in a boring tunnel and be bored, he might as well try and work out how the boat moves. It doesn't have an engine or anything. He leans over the edge to peer at the tracks just below the murky water at exactly the same moment Ruby decides to rock the damn thing. He manages a small, ungraceful 'urp' before he tips over into the drink as their little boat continues its merry way onwards.

Good job, Ruby, you killed him.

Except, you know, it's like three foot of water at most and Varian sits up, drenched. At least he managed to avoid the internal parts of the track- that could have been a depressing end to the date. ]

Oh, ugh this water smells like old engine parts.

[Important questions Ruby was wondering too. Maybe there's been a little birdy watching this whole disaster of a date.]

Neither do I. Like they could have at least played a movie or something?

[Ruby stops shaking the boat when she hears the splash and looks back over toward where Varian had been sitting. Only to see that he's no longer there.

That's troubling.]

V-Varian!?

[She moves over to the other and looks over the edge to see him sitting there in the water as she slowly drifts away from him.]

Oh no! Boyfriend overboard! I'mma coming!

[Don't mind her as she leaps out of the boat to make a dramatic rescue. She lands in front of him with a big splash, and then slips on the bottom. She falls onto her back with an even bigger splash.

A second later her face emerges from the water as she just lets herself float there.]

It tastes gross too.

[A movie had to be better than the dark tunnel of boredom. At least they've made it... less boring? Is getting stuck in knee-deep skank water less boring? Probably. He appreciates the attempt at the rescue, an attempt was made. He stands with a grimace, sloshing over to her to offer a hand to help her back to her feet. Their boat, and Mr.Fluffers sailing away, pulled along by the track.]

...Well. There goes our boat and that terrible, terrible rabbit.

[So now they're stuck in a dark tunnel, drenched in the grossest water imaginable, with only a tiny little glow stick to light their way. He tries to wring some of it out of his hair. ]

So. I guess we're gonna have to... walk our way out? Or we could catch the next boat?

[Ruby accepts that hand and pulls herself up to her feet. She throws a playful elbow at Varian's chest when he makes the comment about Mr.Fluffers.]

Shhh! He might still be able to hear you. Did miss how big his ears are?

[She was definitely going to have to try and reclaim him at the lost and found later. She glances down along the tunnel, past the light and into the darkness.]

Might be better if we wait for the next boat. We can spook the people out of it and claim it for ourselves!

Like pirates!

[He lets out a soft 'oof' at the elbow jab, chuckling softly.]

I'll take my chances. And sure, Rubes. Like pirates. Really soggy pirates who don't want to spend the night in knee-deep gross water.

[He can hear the bot before he sees it, raising his little test tube and waves his free hand.]

Hey! Hi- uh, can we hitch a ride on your boat we feel out of-

[Oh. Okay, never mind, because there's a couple of teenager townspeople who are absolutely using the ride of its intended purpose, suddenly jumping apart like they've been electrocuted. Varian clears his throat awkwardly. Well. This is embarrassing.]

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh. That's what this ride for.

Your funeral.

See. I knew you'd understand. Commandeering a vessel from so no good land lovers is like pirating 101.

[She keeps a step behind him as he approached the boat. ...Her eyes go wide and she can't help but let out half gasp, half laugh at what they just saw.

...On the bright side the two teens had stopped doing what they were doing so Ruby feels no guilt as she climbs aboard and offers Varian a hand.]

Wow. Well- This is the part where Yang would make some kind of pun about booty.

Yeeeesh. Atleast we know for know for next time, huh?

Arrg.

[That is the driest, least pirate-y voice ever uttered. He didn't even try.

He does, however, snort about the booty comment because he's a sixteen-year-old boy and that's where his humour level is at sometimes. He takes Ruby's hand, clambering in next to her. Guess the mood has been ruined for two sets of teens today. He's not sorry, they're townspeople, they don't deserve to have fun anyway. ]

I mean, I still don't get it? You can't even see each other's faces. Besides, I really think we need to work better on our aim before we try this in the pitch black. I might take out one of your eyeballs.

[See that's why Ruby keeps Varian around. He appreciates her high quality booty jokes. She starts to wring out her clothes as best she can, sorry townspeople. The boats taking on a bit of water now.]

I dunno? Maybe people like the danger of protentional concussions? Like an adrenaline high but for kissing?

Yeah. Practice makes perfect, right? I kind of like my eyes where they are right now.

[He's still trying to get his hair into any semblance of normality, waterlogged as it is. Sorry, townie teens, not sorry. ]

I mean, sure, I guess? Still seems better ways to get around that. And yeah, I like your eyes just as they are too, they're perfect as is.

[He blushes, clearing his throat and looking at the ceiling. ]

Um- yeah.

Like a roller coaster?

[...Because honestly she didn't mind that all that much.]

Oh-Yeah-I mean I like them a whole lot. Your's aren't half bad either-you're teeth uh-really bring them out when you smile.

I mean if I was paying attention to things like that.

[A nervous laugh bubbles out of him, because yeah. YEAH. That rush of adrenaline sure made him jump in both feet first. ]

Y-yeah. It would be a surge of adrenaline coupled with norepinephrine and- stop talking me.

[He's seriously considering just... dunking himself back in the skank water. It would be better than all this awkward emotion screeching in his brain. At least it's dark enough that she probably can't see how much he's blushing. ]

Oo-oh. T-thanks, I think? [People don't normally find THE TEETH all that attractive.] And yeah, 'course.

[She's trying????? She just doesn't want any awkward silence during this whole bizarre boat stealing incident. And he had big buck teeth that were hard to miss. It's all she's got.]

Ye-ah. Big words and stuff.

[She has no idea what a norepinephrine is. Even if he explained it before it's gone in one ear and out the other.

She does thankfully miss all the blushing.]

No problemo-High praise. Like the highest praise I can think of at the moment-You should be super flattered.

Big words.

[He probably has, in one of his awkward, rambling attempts to explain how she makes him feel because it makes more sense to him than "you give me the doki-dokis". ]

I am. Uh. Super flattered. Oh- look. Daylight. That's good.

Edited 2020-07-21 01:02 (UTC)

Daylight! Great! That's super!

[She looks back to the two Townies who do NOT look impressed with them in the slightest.]

Isn't that good news?

[Huh. The guy operating the machine doesn't seem impressed with them either.

...Does he have security guards with him.]

[You know, the sight of security guards would probably put off most teenagers, but Varian's smile grows at the sight of them.]

Hey! Looks like I can tick the amusement park off my list.

[But wait. Who is waiting with them? His cold eyes upon them. Lurking in the shadows? Is it... Shia LaBeouf????!!.

No. It's Mr.Fluffers! Varian looks less pleased to see him.]

...Oh. The hell rabbit made it to the other end, too. Great.

[Ruby throws her hands up in the air in excitement.]

Woo! We did it!

[Wait. Give her a second. She blinks.]

Wait you have a list for that? Awesome.

[Ruby's reaction is basically the polar opposite. She moves to the end of the boat and holds out her arms in Mr.Fluffers direction as they slowly drift closer to the horror bunny.]

Mr.Fluffers You're okay! Thank goodness!

It's a work in progress. That's two places now.

[Mr. Fluffers is there to fall into her waiting arms. Reunited again! The security guards are there to haul both Varian and Ruby off the boat as the townie kids stomp off, yelling about how their date has been ruined. ]

...So glad the rabbit is still here. So. So glad.

Edited 2020-07-21 19:39 (UTC)

Oh-Was the first the movie theater? Ha-! I remember you telling me about that.

[You know after he snuck back in to watch the rest of the Jurassic Park with her.

She gladly holds Mr.Fluffers tight as they're finally reunited. She had missed the little creeper so much.

Security is just going to usher them out toward the main gates. Not even giving them a towel to dry themselves off. The townies are just so rude.]

Awwwww. I knew you like him.

[How Varian actually feels about Mr.Fluffers.

Ruby's head.

Or maybe she was just going to hide the creepy stuffed animal in his apartment just to mess with him.]

It was, but I still say the owner was just not accepting of scientific learning.

[Or didn't enjoy teenagers breaking and entering his establishment. That too. And now he can add the amusement park to the list as the gates close behind them. Fucking rude.

He turns to look at the horrible, horrible rabbit.]

Oh yeah. I love him. He's the best thing ever.

So these guys obvious just don't know what a date looks like, right?

[Because two kids soaked with stank water, bruised from an attempt at kissing, holding a terrifying murder rabbit stuffed animal is definitely the highest form of romance.

Don't mind Ruby as she presses the rabbit closer into Varian's face.]

Hear that Mr.Fluffers! He does love you. You guys are going to be best friends, I promise.

I mean, we made it our own?

[Obviously, they're pros at the dating game only one date in. No one can better them.

He takes a step back, raising his arms to protect himself from the (probably very possessed) stuffed toy.]

Erugh. Great. But hey for fun times you can just keep him at your house.

[He's going to send a message to Yang asking her to do him a solid and destroy it. ]

We did!

[She'll wrap one arm around Mr.Fluffers before she offers a hand for him to take. A big grin on her face.]

Okay, okay. ...He can live at my place. Can he come over and visit sometime?

[Like for a month in his cupboards until he manages to find it.]

[He smiles, reaching out to take that proffered hand, entwining their fingers together, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. ]

I think you'd bring him over no matter what I'd say to that.

[Just live in his nightmares forever. ]

[She squeezes his hand right back.]

You've got that right.

[She leans in and gives him a kiss on the cheek. Without slamming into his face or making things any more awkward. She had a fun time this evening, Varian.]

hey weirdo i have something for you but you need to promise not to take it apart genuinely

It's really mean that you're telling me I can't take it apart before I've even seen it. But okay, fine, I won't. Consider my curiosity piqued. What is it?

it's a healing agent i know you will want to take it out and try to replicate it but believe me this is technology from hundreds of years in your future and the guy who made it made sure that if anything was tampered it either turned into acid (so you'd have to buy more to heal your acid burns) or self-destructed and became useless red goop so you can either have a shot that could save your life or someone else's or fuck it up and if you do it and try to tell me "but fucking things up is what i'm good at" i will make good on my promise to kick your skinny little shrimp ass into next YEAR

Well. That seems like a really spiteful move on his part. Because why not, let's put a failsafe on something that can be used to save people's lives. Rude.

Anyway, as much of a challenge as that is, I'm not about to pass up something that can actually heal people here. Given how... unpredictable healing magic here is at the best of times and all.

I promise I won't mess with it. And I don't make promises lightly.

[Because of the whole broken promise leading to him losing his shit and destroying half his kingdom thing.]

that was the point corporations have wiped out entire cities of civilians for lesser reasons it's just how it is good i'll drop it off you need any food, shrimpy?

We don't have corporations where I'm from. I'm kinda glad about that. Only one person benefits from this, instead of it being for the good of the people.

Great. And I'm fine, believe it or not I am actually capable of going food shopping.

[He just sucks at remembering to cook and eat it.]

that's capitalism for you people's lives become number and that's that alright leave the door open and put the kettle on i'll show you how to use it

Guess the future isn't perfect, huh?

Will do. I'll disable all the traps, so you've got a free run inside.

leave the traps on i'll have fun

...Okay, fine, I'll leave the traps on.

You weirdo.

cool. i'll try not to do too much damage.

[only... she will. she really will. you don't have the power amara has and use it without care without breaking a few eggs.

or... traps.]

Yeah, if you could avoid destroying my house I'd really appreciate that.

[But as promised, he has left his traps armed. So she can have the delight of a few alchemy bombs being thrown her way and also Spider-Bot trundling its way at her, launching fire balls. Fun!]

[she may have assumed this would be easier than it actually would be. she ends up with at least two of the alchemy bombs smacking directly into her face and exploding, though manages to avoid the others. the spider bot fireballs are the same thing that some of the robots back home do, so she manages to avoid most of those.

it's going pretty well!

then she gets swiped into a wall and crawls towards varian's door, thumping on it. the damage is not too great; she mostly just has some basic bitch lacerations and a black eye. looks delighted, though.]

[So long as she gets to live her best life. Varian opens the door, one eyebrow arched. Usually, it's only Ruby who asks for the traps to be left on, and that's because Ruby is fucking batshit.]

...You look like you enjoyed yourself.

[He peers around her.]

You didn't break Spiderbot, did you? I've tried giving it a harder casing since Ruby broke it last time.

You could do with more knives, but yes. I had a good time.

[she turns, looking back. there's a piece of metal lodged in the thick leather of her jacket-- didn't break the skin, by the lack of blood.]

It's unconscious. I think. Can robots be unconscious?

Knives tend to be a lot more lethal and I don't really want my attempted murder count to go any higher than it already is.

[Because...you know, rehab, and all that. He clears his throat, pointing at the metal in question.]

No, they can't and uh- Amara? You- you got a thing?

Doesn't count if it's in self-defense.

[amara is very flexible with murder, though. she's no the best person to take advice from on this.]

Huh? A what?

Are you sure about that?

[Because he sure isn't. He's gonna... reach up and take it -at least it didn't break the skin? Yay? He'll show it to her like... hey, look at this thing that nearly pieced your body. ]

Some metal? In your baaaaaaaaaack?

Some court's gonna need to try me for several hundred counts of murder if it isn't.

[she sounds absolutely unbothered by this fact; the statement of someone who knows how it works in her own world.]

Huh? Oh. Can you pull it out? Shit, I hope it's not in my spine.

...Okay fair. The Authority here might see things differently, though. Might wanna be careful.

[What he probably should say is "might wanna not stab people in the first place" but she knows about his checkered past now, so there's really no point in going to the extra effort of pretending murder is an option he's never considered. ]

I hope it's not in your spine either. If I end up paralyzing you, I'm stating right here and now that I'm not taking the fall for it.

[He's just gonna reach out to give the piece of metal a yank. Hey, at least it's just in her jacket, right? ]

If they don't see anything happen they won't take action.

[which isn't implying that she's thought of doing something to someone out of their sight before, nope (yes it is).]

I'm pretty sure I know what metal shrapnel in a bone feels like... [she flinches when he yanks it out, reaching behind her to feel and... no skin broken! looks like the jacket did its job.] That's a no on paralysis. Right! Let's get this little lesson done.

[awfully cheerful for almost dying.]

There is that. Though how much they're always watching is up for debate.

[He also definitely hasn't been thinking about that. For sure hasn't got a whole ass-poison he's creating in his lab to not-murder the woman who wants Ruby dead. No sir.

He heaves outa breath, nodding and turning to go inside the house. He's taking the metal with him- you never know when you need metal.]

Yes, please, preferably with a little less shrapnel.

Should be clear if their dispensing of justice is immediate, no?

[she follows, peeking over to see what exactly it was that almost killed her.]

There's no shrapnel involved, don't worry. I mean, unless you use it to heal a shrapnel wound. Those are nasty. You ever seen one?

They showed up pretty quickly when me and Ruby blew up a tree.

[Ah, the greatest meet-cute story ever told. Explosions. He grimaces a little.]

Uh... no, I haven't. So the healing agent can heal just about anything huh?

[Look, if he's not allowed to take it apart then he at least wants to ask QUESTIONS about it.]

Explosions are easy to pinpoint, [she says, rolling her eyes. apparently not at all concerned about how they blew up a tree? that's just what normal kids do, right?] Yes, but there are rules. Bones must be set before it's injected or they will heal wrong, it cannot regrow limbs and cannot replace lost blood.

[Totally normal. Just a regular kid thing to do. ]

Okay, duly noted. Do you know how it works at all? Like- even a tiny bit? Like- okay, you might not know the chemical composition, but do you understand how it heals?

The nanites inside it encourage cell regrowth with the chemical composition, as well as rebuilding stuff the body simply cannot with artificial biochemicals.

[she shrugs.]

That's all. It's very common tech back home.

Nanites? Artificial biochemicals?

[He said he wouldn't take apart the chemical physically, but that's not going to stop him from trying to work it out in his head. These sound so bizzare to him. ]

...So you have multiple ways to heal people beyond conventional medicine?

[Not that he really understands "conventional medicine" at this juncture, but still.]

[nodding, she leans forward on the counter.]

Yes, but maybe explaining how robotics works in my world won't be best for your mental health.

[Wow?? Excuse??? Varian looks amusingly insulted by that. How very dare!!]

Uh- strongly disagree. I bet I could learn plenty.

[And never sleep again when he tries to replicate them.]

I don't know. I'm not into robotics.

[nailed it.]

[Oh, you better believe he's gonna whine.]

Whaaaaaat? Seriously?! After all that?

[It's soon after the incident with Jon at the library, and Glitch in the alley. Fern fled, found somewhere quiet at the edge of town, and hid himself up in one of the trees. His head is still a complete mess, but he's managed to calm down enough to put the sword away, and pull out his Fluid from his bag. He doesn't notice that one of his hands has neon pink blood on it.

He has no idea what else to do. He's scared and alone and he doesn't want to be either.]

Varian
i stabbed two people
Sleepers

[Well. This isn't exactly what he expected to land in his inbox today, but here he is. Varian's been trying to keep himself away from other people, terrified of the niggling, biting thoughts at the back of his mind reminding him how easy it would be to raze this place to the ground. This throws him for a loop.

Perhaps someone else might decide this would be a good time to go off the rails because that kills people, Fern. But Varian is more than aware that he and Fern have a certain level of shared awfulness that other Sleepers wouldn't really understand. He knows Fern doesn't have many people he can turn to in this kind of matter, and truth be told, neither would he.

He has plenty of questions, and he really probably should be concerned about the Sleepers Fern stabbed, want to find them and see if they're hurt. He really should. That would probably be the right thing to do. He doesn't, though. He wants to check on Fern first.]

Where are you?

[Thank whatever stupid god or monster or ghost is running this whole universe that he gets a fast reply from Varian. He knows he's screwed up so badly already, even worse by running and not, you know, staying and making sure Jon and Glitch didn't succumb to their injuries.

Nope, he just stabbed them and ran, and now they're both probably dead and his head is killing him and he's terrified that he's going to keep doing it. Or worse - people are going to find out and come after him. Varian's text offers a tiny sliver of comfort. He at least doesn't have to be alone right now.]

edge of town
near the pond in a tree

[Give him a few more minutes to calm down some more, then he'll try to describe which tree, because he isn't coming out of it.]

Okay. Stay put, I'm on my way.

[There are so many fucking trees by the pond, Jesus. And Fern is green, he blends in. Still, Varian isn't going to abandon him. Even if Fern had told him that he'd wholescale slaughtered half the damn town, Varian would still look for him.

And so he runs for the pond, a little out of breath once he gets there- it would have been smarter to take a bus, but he didn't want to risk it. Better to rely on his own two legs. He wanders around the trees, looking up, frowning. ]

Fern? Where are you?

[Staying put is, at least, an easy thing for him to do right now. He's curled up on a branch of a large oak tree, hugging his knees to his chest and clutching his phone, his grass still twitching every so often. It's a little cooler amongst the leaves, and he's high enough up that he's a bit further away from any stray herbicide gases that made their way over to the pond.

He sits there quietly, his eyes squeezed shut, trying to picture the Tree Fort. But it's hard, the memory isn't quite feeling like it should be. Like it isn't actually his home, and it isn't actually his memory. It's just a facsimile he's just thinking of, one that's tilted enough to be too off-kilter and fuzzy around the edges to really be considered a good copy.

He keeps trying to picture it anyways. Trying is better than thinking about anything else. He only pauses when he hears Varian's voice. There's a few beats before he yells back.]

I'm up here.

[Varian zones in on Fern's voice, coming to stand beneath the tree his friend is in. He looks up and... yeah, Fern looks pretty fucking bad. The flash of pink is worrying too- is that just what blood looks like now? Is it Fern's? He knows Fern doesn't exactly bleed the same as he does, but if the green... whatever Fern bled out when they came across the labyrinth goat has turned pink, it might be.

...But it's probably the blood of whoever he stabbed. Great.

Varian heaves out a sigh, it's really hot and he's not the most athletic person alive. But Fern needs help and he's the one Fern called upon to give it. ]

...Guess I'm climbing a tree today. Sure. Why not.

[He's going to make his awkward way up the tree. He is neither skilled nor graceful. There's a good chance he's going to end up falling out of the damn thing, but here he is anyway. Climbing a damn tree in the middle of a heatwave. If this isn't friendship, he doesn't know what is. ]

[Sorry, Varian. Trees are his comfort zone. In his time here they've always reminded him of the Tree Fort, specifically the canopy of the Tree Fort, and the despairingly short time he was living up there. It was nice, it was quiet, comfortable. Downright serene. He sorely misses it.

He leans over a little when he realizes Varian has reached the base of the tree and started to climb. He should climb down, but what if someone sees him? What if they already know what he did? He can't bring himself to move from this spot, so he sits there and waits while Varian climbs.]

[Varian does, eventually, make it up to Fern's branch. He's out of breath and sweaty, and there are twigs and leaves stuck in his hair, but he made it. He swings himself up, letting out an 'oof' noise.]

Ohkay. [He raises a hand to be given a minute, just- gotta catch his breath again.] Hoo. Right. I'm here.

[He turns to give Fern his full attention, gaze dropping to the pink on his hand. Hrmmm, at least it doesn't look like it's Fern's. That's... something.]

What happened?

[If this was practically any other time Varian would be getting teased so hard about his inadequate tree climbing skills. As it is Fern just keeps on sitting there, waiting for him to catch his breath, only speaking up to answer his question. And when he answers it becomes even more clear just how agitated he still is.]

I don't know! I don't know.... I was talking to Jon about some graffiti, and then he started looking at me, and he had way too many eyes, and - and he wouldn't stop, so -

[Even though he's far, far away from Jon now it still feels like those eyes have followed him, from the alley where he stabbed Glitch all the way to this tree. It makes a shiver run down his spine (a motion that for him makes his grass visibly twitch again), and he abruptly reaches up to grab his hat.]

So I had to do something!

Jon? The- the research guy?

[Fern is clearly as far from okay as he can possibly be right now though. Varian watches the grass twitch, recognising it for what it is. Varian shifts a little closer, wobbling a little on the branch as he does so- putting a hand on Fern's shoulder. ]

Hey. [His tone is calm, soothing. ] It's okay. I'm not going anywhere. Take your time.

[Fern doesn't even spare the hand on his shoulder a small glance, as he falls back into his memories of Jon, covered in eyes. Jon, saying just wait a moment, and all of those eyes trained on him, looking straight into him. Past all the grass, the plant matter, into his head or his soul or whatever you want to call it.

Fern curls further in on himself as he cringes, unable to stop the flood of memories from causing him to relive the overwhelming sense of existential horror as he felt as if he was reaching back out to those eyes, even though he also knew he wasn't, and didn't want to. It wasn't him doing it, except it was, and he remembers Jon saying the thing inside you.]

He wouldn't stop, I had to make him stop somehow! And - and -

[It's all building up, until Fern is ripping the ears of his grass hat right off.]

It still feels like he's doing it!

[Oh! Oh shit, okay, this is way worse than Varian originally thought. He shifts as quickly as he can, releasing Fern's shoulder so he can carefully but firmly take Fern's wrists in his hands. If anything, just to stop him doing that to himself.]

Fern.

[He can't hide the worry from his tone, the slivers of fear, but there's something else there, too. Perhaps an echo of an old sharpness he does his very best to repress. Trying to mark Fern stop. The horrible, nasty parts of Varian's mind that have been a lot louder recently bloom up an idea it wouldn't be that hard to seek Jon out. To make him pay for doing this. Varian sucks in a breath, tries to snuff it out. Tries to focus on his friend. ]

He's not here now, okay? I promise. [Sorry, Fern, he's not letting go of your arms any time soon.] Now take it slow, what do you mean, he had too many eyes?

[Lucky that he doesn't feel pain in the same way he did when he was human, so even though his hat is technically part of him it isn't nearly as bad as it could have been. Still, Fern starts when Varian takes hold of his hands, for a split second another memory hitting him. He and Finn sitting by a river, Fern having a meltdown over being a failure, Finn grabbing his hands and telling him to stop -

He freezes up, then glances around fearfully, slight tears in his eyes. He isn't here - Jon isn't here. Varian is right. It's just the two of them. In the absence of taking several deep breaths to calm down he tries to focus on Varian, and the tree they're in. The rustle of the leaves, and some bird chirping nearby.

Once he's ready to talk, he tries to do so, slower this time.]

H... he looked normal. Like a normal person. Until he just - didn't. There were eyes all over his body.

[Varian would rather not have Fern ripping parts of himself regardless if it's all the same. He watches as Fern comes back to him, from whatever dark, terrifying place he'd been to. He lets out a slow breath, squeezing his wrists just for a brief moment, he's vaguely aware of the pink blood (probably Jon's- that nasty voice in the back of his head whispers good) but keeps a hold anyway- he doesn't know if it's helping, he hopes it does. ]

That's- well, that's different. I guess he's not as human as he looks. [Not exactly a rarity here, but something to bear in mind.] You said he was looking at you. Did it hurt?

[Even though Fern can't exactly describe what happened as traditional pain he still nods. It still hurt, it just wasn't the same as getting cut or punched, and he isn't even sure if Jon is aware of that. He certainly wasn't acting maliciously at the time, just very intent.

Which... might be worse. Fern isn't sure. He shakily lowers his hands, still trying to keep his head focused and not let his thoughts wander too far.]

He isn't human. There's no way he's human! [Fern is absolutely sure of that.] He... reminded me of the Lich. It's like he was in my head - deeper than that.

[He was just as invasive at the Lich, which is a chilling thought.]

[When Fern finally lowers his hands and the danger of him ripping pieces of himself off ebbs, Varian lets go. He remains close though, just in case, his own hands slightly raised, certainly not relaxed.

Varian has his own memories of the Lich now- he knows how terrifying that thing was. It held the kind of bone-deep fear that clung to you for days afterwards. The thought of something in Deerington holding that kind of power is more than a little chilling. ]

Did he say what he wanted? Or did he just- just attack you?

[There's the slightest sliver of anger in his tone, lurking beneath the surface, and it's definitely not directed at Fern.]

[He isn't in danger of tearing any more of himself, but with his hands lowered he can see the neon pink blood marring one of them. It and Varian's questions makes his grass twitch again.]

He... said something was inside me.

[He shakes his head again, sounding frantic and unsure.]

I have no idea what he's talking about. There isn't.

[Except there are all those times - including right now - where he's thought and felt and done things when it didn't feel like he was the one thinking and feeling and doing them.

But Jon can't be right. He's just... him. Fern. A total mess of a person. Not - not something else.]

[Varian listens, eyebrows knitted together as Fern talks. Fern's... definitely like no one he's ever met before- and sure, that might make him a convoluted mess of a person at times, but he's still a person. He's angry that Jon would make him think otherwise. As if Fern needed anything else to shake up his already tumultuous emotional state.]

Of course, there isn't. [He says it firmly, with conviction.] You're just Fern, and that's enough. I- I mean, sure, okay, you came from really unusual circumstances. What with the swords and the- the two Finns and everything, but you're still just you.

[He wants to believe what Varian is saying, he really does, and he tries his hardest to shut the doubt that's threatening the calm he's managed to reach. He's just himself, that's all. Jon was wrong.]

... Right.

[His hands are shaking, though, and he's going to start trying to scrape the blood off his one hand and onto the tree branch.]

I - after I stabbed him, Glitch showed up. He wasn't doing anything - he was trying to help.

[Those memories loop through his brain like a bad film, all the fear and aggression, and Fern finds his hands are shaking harder.]

All he was doing was helping, and I stabbed him, too. He's probably dead in an alley somewhere because of me...!

[Varian watches as Fern's hands shake, trying to get rid of the pink blood. He reaches behind himself to untie his apron, taking it off and handing it over. A handkerchief would be better, but he doesn't make it a point of carrying those around, so Fern will have to live with that. ]

... Here.

[He can live with some weirdo pink blood on it, he'll clean it later. He stills, as Fern carries on. Oh. Oh.]

Okay. Do you want me to see if I can find him? I- maybe he's not dead? There's a chance, right?

[Fern pauses at the offer of the apron, hesitating for a few moments before taking it. Getting rid of the blood is more important than potentially ruining something of Varian's. What if he leaves it and someone notices? That'll spell trouble.

He takes it, gratefully, and begins scrubbing away.]

I don't know.

[He sounds miserable, for more reasons than Varian realizes.]

What if he's dead?? He's gonna hate me when he comes back, like Cliff does. This - this isn't even the first time this happened! I hurt Luna, too! I'm just gonna keep on hurting my friends until I don't have any left.

Edited 2020-07-10 22:26 (UTC)

[He kind of wants to ask about Cliff- who that is, what that means, but he doesn't want to push Fern over the edge again. Not when he's brought him back from the precipice now. He knows that lying to Fern won't do much good now, he's not about to do that. ]

...He might, we can't control that. It's his decision. But if he's alive or not- whatever comes, you can talk to him, let him hear your side. That's the best you can do. It's... kinda out of your hands.

[Because forgiveness is always on the wronged person's side. He understands that much. He cants his head, offering a tiny smile.]

Well. You'll always have me at least. I know I'm a pretty cruddy consolation prize, but I'm too stubborn to walk out on you now. I mean, I literally just climbed a tree for you. You're stuck with me.

[It's distressing, that all of this is going to go the exact same way as things did with Cliff. He'd deserve it, of course, he attacked both other boys for no reason, but it still hurts to think about.

Varian is right. All he can do is try to talk to him, try to do a better job than he did with Cliff. Otherwise it isn't up to him. The thought stresses him out, but he gives him a (tense) nod of understanding, appreciating his honesty.

And then the self-deprecation comes, and Fern stops scrubbing his hand to look up.]

You're the furthest thing from cruddy.

[That's one of the few things he's certain of right now, and he shifts closer to latch onto Varian in a tight hug.]

I don't know what I would've done if you hadn't come up here. [Maybe stab more people, honestly.]

[Varian doesn't really believe Fern when he tells him that he's the furthest thing from cruddy. He's been feeling a lot worse lately, those inner demons biting a lot harder than they usually do.

Still, he doesn't shy away from the hug, he returns it- because it's what Fern needs right now. If helping Fern out is what he does with the last few trickles of decency left inside him, then at least he used them well. ]

Well. I wouldn't have abandoned you. Not after that. [He's still worried, he's still so very, very worried.] Are- are you gonna be okay?

[He really, really does need the hug right now. The physical contact is a good way to ground him, and his grass settles down a bit more.]

I don't know.

[That, unfortunately, isn't a question he can answer. He isn't melting down anymore but he's still afraid to leave the tree, of what might be going on in the town and of something setting off his mind and causing another panic attack.]

I feel... shaky. Like I'm gonna crumble into pieces again at any second.

[Varian hugs Fern a little tighter, wishing for all the world he could take this pain away for him. It wasn't fair that Jon did this to him - that he pushed Fern to this point. He had no right to do that. None at all.]

I can stay up here as long as you need. I've got nowhere important to go.

[Except maybe to yell at Jon. Probably shouldn't do that.]

[Fern really, really does not want to let go. He does though, after a few seconds.]

You sure you're not gonna boil up here?

[He appreciates Varian wanting to stick by him, but being up here for an extended period of time can't be good for a human. It can't be great for him either, with the herbicides in the air.]

I, uh, I'd be okay with finding a cold basement to hide in for a while.

[It isn't the same as crawling into a hole and never coming out, but it's close.]

[It is really warm up here, and Varian knows dehydration is... very likely. It's not like he brought any supplies up here, he kind of just ran to find Fern- that took priority. He offers a smile.]

...A cold basement would be preferable, yeah. I'd rather not boil.

Okay.

[He really doesn't need the guilt of hurting a third person on his shoulders today, either. Going back into town isn't something he's eager to do, but going with Varian makes the thought tolerable. If anyone confronts him then at least he won't be alone.

He leans over, looking at the height they'll have to climb down.]

Uh, I can get us down fast, if you don't mind me carrying you.

[Varian looks down at the drop below them. Does he really want to climb down the tree again? Not really. He gives a shrug.]

Sure, why not. It's gotta be better than getting half the tree stuck in my hair again.

Then hold on.

[Fern climbs to his feet, then in one quick movement scoops Varian up and hops off the branch like it's no big deal. One nice thing about a grass body: no bones to break.

He's jumping down fast, but at least won't just go from their branch straight to the ground, instead using a couple large branches in between to slow down their descent. Still, it isn't pleasant, and Fern hits the ground hard when they reach it.]

[You know, Varian had been expecting Fern to maybe make some vines and swing them down. That's the kind of move Rapunzel would make with her hair. He was used to a move like that. He was not expecting Fern to just straight up jump out of the tree.

And as such he lets out a very undignified yelp as he clings to Fern for dear life, screwing his eyes shut tight and only opening one when he feels the thud as they make contact with the ground. ]

Oh my god, I didn't think you meant I'm gonna jump out of the tree.

[Vine-swinging certainly would have been cooler and flashier, it's too bad Fern is going for the most straightforward route down. He doesn't expect the yelp and looks surprised when they reach the ground.

And a little awkward. This is more clinging than he expected.]

It's how I usually get out of trees. Uh... are you good to stand?

[Even Varian can catch the awkward this time. He lets out a nervous chuckle, releasing his death-grip on Fern and moving to stand, rubbing the back of his neck. ]

Heh. Sorry. I'm good. I'm fine.

[He's just gonna go right ahead and follow the standard procedure of burying that awkward under several layers of denial. It's all good. Totes fine. ]

You know, I kind of expected vines. Or something.

[Right, yes, okay, Fern is more than happy to let go of Varian if he's sure his legs are not currently jelly. And after a beat, he holds out his apron as well.]

...... Vines would've been a good idea, yeah.

[Wow good job, not thinking of the way of getting out of the tree that would've resulted in less awkwardness, dingus.]

But if you're good then - that's good.

[Yup that is... good. Good.]

Oh well, we'll bank it for another time we end up in a tree

[It's good. It's fine. Nothing to see here. He takes the apron, casting it a glance because... yup, sure is covered with pink blood now. He folds it up so the blood is on the inside and slings it over his arm. It... probably wouldn't be smart walking around town with his apron covered in blood. ]

You gonna be okay walking into town?

[He gives a little nod at that and makes a mental note. Vines, next time.

And he looks a great deal less sure about the answer to that question.]

Dunno. [There's a pause and - ] Can we avoid the library?

[That seems like a good idea, for multiple reasons.]

Sure we can, we can give it a wide berth.

[Damnit, Jon, if you've ruined the library for Fern after it's taken Varian literal months to get the guy to enjoy a book, he's gonna be so pissed.]

C'mon, let's get out of this heat.

[It isn't long after Varian's trial that Fern finds himself back to normal. He has Orpheus and his music to thank for that, oddly enough; a complete and total stranger with one very heartwarming song. Who knew that's all it would take? Fern certainly hadn't, and after he's found himself back to normal and helped Orpheus get home safely he's left on his own, with nothing but his mind and the memories of the past few weeks.

He remembers the things he did, the things he said to people. All of the trials, the robotic bears, the executions. Oh, he remembers the executions.

After he's taken Orpheus home he stumbles his way back to the lake, needing to be away from people in order to process everything. He finds a tree that's managed to hold out against all the herbicide, hiding up in its canopy and pulling out his Fluid. With shaking hands, he sends a simple text.]

tell me when you're alive

[He knows he won't get an answer back for days. He just hopes he gets an answer at all.]

[Varian comes back to life, eyes clear of despair and feeling like he'd fallen off a goddamn cliff. He lays in bed for a while, Ruddiger curled around him, chattering anxiously. Something happened, something bad - he knows that much. Once the rooms stops spinning and Varian slips in and out of consciousness a little more, memories start to trickle back in. The trickle becomes a torrent, the torrent becomes a flood.

He sits shakily up, he did so much wrong. Worse than he even did back home, he realises. Fern had been right, this town had finally grabbed him with both hands and turned him into someone he didn't want to be any more. He'd attacked innocent people, he'd tried to kill them. Worse, he'd attacked the people who mattered the most to him- struck them where he knew it would hurt the most.

The desire to stay at home and do nothing, to just...waste away and hope no one ever seeks him out crosses his mind, but he knows that's foolish. He can't just sit here. He needs to do something to try and make it right. Even if he's starting back from square one again, he can't let himself fester in his defeat for a year again. So, he drags himself out of bed, getting dressed into the nearest clean and not-covered-in-pink-blood-from-being-crushed-to-death clothes he can find. He goes to reach for Rhodium Raps, because at least that can steady him but...oh. Right. That's gone. He settles for a piece of ordinary metal, solid, it'll do- and heads out to try and help where he can, Ruddiger hot on his heels, chittering at him to go back fucking bed.

It's while he's struggling his way through town that he gets the message from Fern. He stares at it for a moment, guilt festering in his stomach. He did and said such awful things to the guy. When Fern didn't deserve any of it. Still, he won't ignore him, he can't bring himself to do that. ]

I'm alive.

[Poetry. ]

[This has been one of the worst weeks of his life. Top three, easy. Tied right up there with the week of Will's death.

Fern is, unsurprisingly, a total wreck. Between falling into despair, running himself ragged fighting robot bears, having to relive the incident with Jon multiple times, trying to kill Kurt and saying awful things to other people it's amazing he hasn't just melted down into a completely destructive little plant gremlin. Not that he doesn't want to, because he does, but he's exhausted and drained and hasn't been regrowing properly thanks to his injuries and the herbicide. He might have the mindset, but he doesn't have the energy to back it up.

So he's hidden away, mostly. Watching the Fluid as trial after trial plays out, occasionally sneaking out to the junkyard to try and dig up useful parts Arid can use to repair her body. Helping her is the one good act he can muster up while he otherwise wallows in misery and self-loathing.

Another bright spot appears in the form of Varian's text, one full week after his trial. When Fern sees it it's as if the air rushes out of him, a selfish tangled mess of anxiety lifting from his shoulders. Varian is alive. Still trapped in this awful town (hence the selfishness), but alive. He almost breaks down right then and there in his treehouse, though he knows being a total mess isn't going to help his best friend who now has to be suffering from the worst flu known to man.]

oh my Glob
where are you?
at your house?
i'm coming over

[The guilt remains lodged in Varian's stomach like a heavy rock. Fern is so goddamn worried about him, and for a moment Varian wonders if he's still under the influence of whatever it was that made him decide to risk his life time and time again for him. He hopes not, he doesn't want Fern to feel like he has to do that- certainly not after he used it the way he did. Like Fern meant nothing to him. Like he was expendible. Both of those things are further from the truth than Varian can even face right now.

He feels another wave of nausea and stumbles to lean against a wall. Maybe coming out wasn't so smart. He doesn't feel good at all. He sucks in a few wheezy breaths, before answering back. ]

not home
trying to fix things

[The fact he's stopped texting like he's writing a letter is probably... not a great sign. He can't concentrate on proper sentence structure right now. He considers just leaving it at that- but he's desperately missed Fern and needs to know he's okay. He needs to know he hasn't destroyed everything.]

umbrella road

[The lack of proper capitalization is a really, really, really bad sign, and Fern books it out of his treehouse and in the direction of Umbrella Road. The massive walls are still up, which don't help things, but he goes as quick as possible. All the while he keeps his Fluid out, texting back.]

don't move
i'll come find you

[He wants to yell at him for being out of bed, and he might do that later, when Varian isn't so sick. When Varian can handle being yelled at, and when he can handle doing some yelling.]

[Everything is spinning around him and it's honestly hard to keep upright. It's still too hot and the air is thick with herbicide. Varian closes his eyes, trying to steady everything screaming and whirling in his mind.

He doesn't respond to Fern, but he does as he's told. He remains where he is, leaning on a wall, broken metal pipe acting as a poor-mans staff, trying to keep himself upright, looking pale and gaunt. He just needs a minute. It'll be fine. ]

[Good boy. Fern hopes that Varian listens to him and stays put, and makes his way to Umbrella Road. The upside is that the road isn't too far from his treehouse, so even with the walls it doesn't take him as long as it could have. On the downside... Umbrella Road is a very long, winding road, and Varian didn't specify which corner he's at. His lack of a response isn't encouraging, so Fern moves as fast as he can, looking down alleyways and in shops for that familiar streak of teal hair.

He fines him, eventually, looking like death warmed over. The weed killer and the heat have to be making his flu worse, and there are the robots around, and for all they know someone can be dragged into a second trial, and who knows if any other Sleepers are still steeped in violence. Being outside is the absolute worst decision Varian could have made in his current state.

And yet, when Fern races over, all he can do is grab Varian's shoulders, staring at him for a split second before dissolving into broken sobs. At least his eyes don't have the telltale spirals in them anymore?]

[Varian is at least aware this was a stupid idea- but he doesn't know if he could just stay at home, either. He caused so much damage, he needs to even the scales, he needs to make it better- or as close to it as he can. Though... admittedly, that probably should have waited until his body had stopped feeling like it had gone through a thresher.

He's endlessly glad to see Fern come into view. Something a little deeper than simple relief settling in his chest. Even more so to see the spirals had gone, Fern was himself again- he hopes this didn't mean Fern died, too. God, he really hopes that. He offers a weak, fleeting ghost of a smile before Fern breaks down.

For once, he doesn't hesitate to pull the other boy into a hug- though admittedly he might be leaning a little more heavily on Fern than a hug strictly allows. God, he feels like crud. He holds Fern close, he can feel the hurt and shame and self-loathing welling up inside him, but he tries to hold it back. Deal with Fern. His fingers curl at his best friend' back, his breath coming in and out as a sharp whistle as he tries to control it. ]

Hey.

[His voice his hoarse and crackly, wavering with emotion, but it's there. Just about.]

[Crying in a public place where anyone wandering by can see him is probably something he'll be embarrassed about when he's in a better state of mind. Right now? Right now he's just relieved that this week is over, that his friend isn't dead anymore, that they both seem to be back to normal.

As... normal as either of them can be under current circumstances. Fern can feel Varian leaning heavily against him, and that isn't surprising. He's looking pretty scraggly himself, his green duller and more yellowish than normal, but he still has more strength to keep his friend from collapsing. It helps that Varian doesn't weigh very much.

He can't respond right away - crying will do that to a person - though he's happy to cling back in a hug, not wanting to let go. The absolute mess of the friendship had become over the last couple of weeks is the last thing on his mind. Right now, the only thing he cares about is the relief that's washing over him, drowning out all the fear and distress and loneliness. Things aren't great, but this is the first time in a while that he's been able to believe that things might be okay.

Since he can't breathe, he has to force himself to simply calm down. Tamp down on his emotions so he has a little more control over himself. He pulls one hand away from Varian, so that he can rub at his eyes.]

I didn't know if you were gonna come back.

[That was the scariest part of all this. Witnessing Varian's death had been horrifying, sure, but what was really monstrous was the wait. After Will's disappearance the possibility that Varian simply wouldn't come back had crept into his mind like an unwanted visitor, settled down, and made a home there. That fear had had a full week to fester and grow until Fern was very nearly sure that was what was going to happen, that Varian was going to wake up - leave the town - whatever - and he was going to be alone again.]

[Varian stays where he is, partly because he desperately needs the comfort hugging Fern brings, partly because he's not entirely convinced he can stand on his own power all that well right now. Mostly that first part though, he hasn't felt this lost since he woke up that first morning in the dungeons back home- with the still-injured guards avoiding him like he was some sort of feral animal as the full weight of what he did settled on him. It's not a feeling he thought he'd have to deal with again. ]

Can't get rid of me so easily.

[It's an attempt at humour, but it falls horribly flat. He's hurt so many people, people who matter to him. He turned on them and let the darkness swallow him whole again. He's been trying so hard to walk away from the person he was. To be better and the space of a few weeks has torn it all down to nothing again. He has to start from square one. He's so goddamn tired of failing.

And Fern, he's hurt Fern again, something he's been focusing very much on not doing. Trying to keep the toxic parts away from away, to let Fern have some happiness. Where he can have just one person not feeding into his own self-loathing. And instead, he solidified it- treated Fern like he was nothing. He left Fern for dead- was the sole reason Fern nearly got himself killed. The emotion of it finally catches up to him and a strangled sob escapes his lips as he curls into the other boy a little more. ]

I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.

[At the sound of Varian's sob Fern abandons his attempt to shutter his own crying and holds him a little tighter, his free hand now reaching up to stroke his hair gently. It's an action his mother would do for him and Jake and Jermaine when they were little, something he knows Finn still does with Jake sometimes, and he hopes it helps. For all his own emotional turmoil, there's no way it can come close to what Varian must be feeling right now.]

I... I know. I forgive you.

[There is no hollow 'that wasn't you' or 'it was the town' reassurances. Fern knows the town affected them, but placing the blame on the town is too easy. It isn't right. All it did was amplify pieces of them that were already there, waiting to come out. This was just Fern getting to experience Varian's monstrous side for the first time. He can't hate his friend for being what he is, he can't even bring himself to dislike him over any of it. That's why his next words are wrapped in the best comforting tone he can muster.]

Monsters have to stick together. They don't abandon each other.

[No matter what happens, no matter how much Varian hurts him or vice versa, he isn't willing to walk away. It certainly isn't the most reasonable decision, and definitely not the healthiest, but he doesn't care. Abandonment is not on the table, and never will be. He might be a failure at a lot of things, and a monster himself, but he isn't Martin. He won't let himself become Martin, not when it comes to someone he cares so much about.]

[He does manage to take some scant comfort from the hand in his hair. It's something his father would do when he was younger- back when the only things he had to worry about were pretend monsters in his nightmares rather than the very real one he created himself.

Fern offers him forgiveness without pretence. Without lessening the blame. He doesn't think he could bear that right now. Because even if he wouldn't have reacted like this without the town pulling at those strings- it didn't put the strings there. They were a part of him already. He was a danger long before he came to this place. ]

Thank you.

[For forgiving him. For not abandoning him- as much as he absolutely deserves it. He knows eventually, he's going to have to take stock of everything in this town. Over what and who he has left in the wreckage of everything he's done. Knowing he still has Fern means more than he can put into words. He sucks in a shaky breath, instantly regretting it as it brings on another coughing fit. He pulls away just so he doesn't end up coughing all over his friend, trying to catch his breath again. Yeesh. Once he stops, once he has his breath again, he focuses on what's important. Which is decidedly not him right now. ]

Are you- [Well. He's obviously not okay.] Did you get hurt any more? Did anyone attack you?

[That simple 'thank you' is enough to send another wave of relief through him, a reassurance that things aren't as big of a mess as they were even just a day or two ago. Though, Varian's coughing fit drags him right back to reality, and he realizes they're outside in town, probably the worst place for someone suffering from the post-death flu could be. His concern for Varian's current state overrides his desire to break down crying again, and he pushes those feelings down.]

Just some other robots.

[Is he downplaying all the bears he's had to deal with this month? Absolutely. It's a knee jerk habit Finn always had, always understating the battles he's fought, never wanting to give the full picture so that people can't get worried about his wellbeing. With Fern that reflex is ramped up even more thanks to his self-loathing. Even if someone were to pick up on the danger he's been in, he doesn't think he'd deserve their concern. Right now it wouldn't help Varian, either. It'd probably just make him sicker or something, and hey, it's not like any of those robots actually killed him.

He would have deserved it if they had. He's kind of amazed they didn't, and the thought makes fresh guilt within him surge.]

I'm sorry, too. I didn't even try to stop you.

[He was a pretty awful knight for all the people who needed one, all things considered. If he had been a good knight - even a good friend - he would have tried. But the only people he made the slightest attempt at protecting were people he had close connections to, and one stranger with a song that affected him on a deeply emotional level.

Of course, with that said, he's giving Varian a serious look.]

You need to get back to bed.

Not your job to stop me. Wouldn't have listened anyway.

[It's a struggle to get out, his throat his hoarse and his voice scratchy. But he needs Fern to know, unequivocally, that no blame rests on him. Not even for a nanosecond. Worry still plays across his face. He's sure it wasn't just some other robots. Those things were awful and he nearly died so many times being around Varian. What happened after that? Varian doesn't know, he has a week of utterly nothing and no real way to fill it in. ]

M'fine. I need to- to do something here. To fix things.

[Ruddiger, sensing an ally in his quest to get Varian the fuck back to sleep, skitters up onto Fern's shoulders, chittering from there in assent. Varian squints at him. Fucking rude.]

Et tu, Brute?.

[Fern is going to go ahead and disagree on that point. He should've been better for Varian, for the other Sleepers who deserved it. But he wasn't, and the guilt hasn't stopped hanging over him. This isn't the time to argue about that, though. Not when Varian is so obviously still sick.

He starts a little when Ruddiger starts clambering up his leg, but hey, grass is a lot easier to climb than flesh, and he gives him a little pat on the head for support. Thanks, bro. Good to have someone else on his side.]

Ruddiger's right. All you're gonna do is kick the bucket if you stay out here. That won't be helping anyone.

[He's frank about this. He has to be, because even the tiniest sliver of a possibility of Varian dying again threatens to send him into an agitated mess. He won't allow it to happen again, he can't.]

I'm taking you home.

[The could argue that particular point all the livelong day. But a street in the middle of what is technically still a death-zone is probably not the wisest place to do it. Probably. Varian heaves out a sigh, teetering a bit as another wave of dizziness comes over him. ]

I'm not going to die again, it's just...flu.

[That's utter bullshit and he knows it.]

I can't just leave everything a mess and hide in my house.

[Fern just gives Ruddiger a displeased glance as Varian remains stubborn. Normally he'd be fine with arguing, maybe even find this quality a little endearing, but right now he isn't putting up with it. The risks are too high, especially with Varian wobbling.]

You can fix things when you aren't sick.

[His own voice wavers a bit, even as he moves to scoop Varian up into his arms, careful about it so Ruddiger can stay balanced on his shoulder.]

You're really sick right now, and... and I can't see you get any worse, V.

[He's scared of what will happen if he just lets him wander, and he's having a rough time keeping that feeling shoved down.]

[Varian is about to argue that he needs to fix things now when Fern scoops him up and puts paid to any further discussion on the matter. His breath catches, just for a moment and he sure puts that and the weird little flip-flop his heart just did into the Repression Box. It's probably nothing. Probably 'cause he's sick or something. Hopefully, it's not a sign he's going to barf all over Fern.

At least it's stopped him from fighting the point? Bonus. It's given Varian the chance to see just how worried Fern's expression is. It's clearly frightened him. He thinks back to how awful he felt when Fern died, what black hole that shoved him into, and he relents.]

...Fine. Fffine. You win.

Great. Okay.

[He is infinitely glad they aren't going to have an argument about this. If that had happened he's fairly sure he'd start crying again. Stupid emotional volatility.

He'll start in the direction of Varian's home, shifting his attention to their surroundings. Even though his pace is quick he's glancing around as if he's on high alert, zeroing in on things like alleys and vehicles and around the corners of walls whenever they approach them. The robots are still out there, and he needs to be ready if they run into one of those or a violent Sleeper. His gaze occasionally strays to the ground too, afraid of what might happen if one of those holes that leads to a trial opens up under his feet.

His body still isn't at one hundred percent, and he's paranoid about encountering something dangerous.]

I'll -... geez, what did mom do when I got sick? [Forgive him, it's been over a decade since Margaret was alive and sometimes his Finn memories aren't the clearest.]

[He's lapsed into silence, partly because his head is aching partly because he feels weird and it might not be anything to do with the deathflu, and quite frankly that's terrifying. It's a good thing that Fern is paying attention to their surroundings because Varian sure isn't- deep into his own head as he is. He's sure it's just post-death... whatever. Just feeling weird. He's never died before. It's probably that.

He only looks up when Fern speaks, blinking a few times before clearing his throat. Right. Right. ]

Fluids, probably, I think?

[He's so helpful, the most helpful.]

[It's less awkward all around that Fern hasn't noticed. He's assuming that he's simply won the argument, and that Varian is too exhausted to do much else aside from get carried. After he can back from being dead it was always a ton of effort just keeping himself together, so this has to be the human equivalent of that.

Trying to dig up old memories from ages ago is hard enough, trying to do it when they aren't even really your memories anymore is even harder. Thankfully, Varian's suggestion helps.]

Right, yeah. Fluids. [Aha, that makes the gears in his head start turning.] Soup. I'll make you soup. Mom always did that. She always had juice around, too. [The memories are coming back in full force now, and he grins a little.] Pretty much the only time she let me eat in bed.

[That's absolutely what it is. Just feeling beat up from coming back from the dead. As Fern continues to speak, a small smile flickers across his features. Quirin always tried, but he wasn't exactly the most nuturing type. There was some sort of comfort only a mother could give, he thinks. As much as he has no experience of his own to pull from.]

Yeah? She sounds like she was pretty amazing. But, sure, soup and juice. Sounds good.

[Even he can handle soup, thankfully. There's no skill needed in opening a can and heating it up, so he's pretty sure he's got that covered, as they approach Varian's home.]

Hah, yeah. She was pretty much the best mom ever. She'd read me stories and she had this lullaby she'd sing, even when it was the middle of the night and I couldn't sleep. She'd even rub my back when I was barfing.

[Oh, memories.]

Okay. You got any traps that need disabling?

[That's a good thing because Varian for sure can't handle cooking even soup right now. His breathing has evened out, but there's still a raspy quality to it- he really shouldn't have been wandering around the town like this. ]

Yeah? That's... nice. Really nice. What a mother should be, right?

[He's... genuinely asking, he doesn't know. He shakes his head at the question.]

Nah, disabled them. It... took a while. I put way more up than usual this month.

Cool.

[Great, no traps for him to worry about springing. Normally he wouldn't care, but right now he'd prefer to get Varian back in bed without getting an ice bomb to the face. He heads up the front steps, a vine slithering out from his arm to open the door. He gives one last glance behind them, and peers into the house carefully before stepping inside. Just to be safe.]

Yup. She was always putting me and Jake and Jermaine first. She always knew how to make us feel better.

[He goes straight for the stairs to head up to Varian's bedroom, even though he hasn't seen it before he's assuming it's on the second floor. As he does his voice turns a little bittersweet.

Memories are rough, sometimes.]

She was the first person to make me feel better after Martin ditched me.

[No traps at all! The house is blissfully trap-free. For once, Varian's bedroom looks like he's actually slept in it- if only because he woke up in it when he came back to life. His bed is very much unmade as if he just flopped out of it like a half-dead fish and dragged himself outside. Which is exactly what he did.]

I'm really glad that you had her. You deserve that much.

[It's also robot bear-free, which is a relief. The last thing he wants to do is destroy the place fighting another one of those.]

Uh... thanks.

[He's... a little pensive when he answers, knowing that Varian didn't get to have his mother around like he did.

Once he's found Varian's bedroom (and wow, does it ever look like a normal human bedroom with a science aesthetic), Fern will set him down in bed. He rubs the back of his head.]

Okay, I'm gonna go make you soup. Assuming you've got some downstairs. Try to just rest for now?

[It's so good to not have any more robo-bears. If Varian never sees another ever again, it'll be too soon.

As much as Varian tends to be anti-bed (there's always too much science to do) he's so very glad for it right now. He flops back onto the pillow with a grateful sigh. Okay, yeah, fine, he can understand the merits of a bed right now. He'll close his eyes for like... a minute.]

Hmmm. Think there's some in the cupboards. Thanks, Bud.

[Great, okay. He'll pick Ruddiger up off his shoulder and put him down on the bed too, so he can keep an eye on Varian, just in case. Then he heads down to the kitchen to cook up some soup. Thankfully it's extremely hard to mess up soup, so once he digs a can of chicken noodle out as well as a pot he gets that heating up on the stove. Once he's found a bowl and spoon and glass and some juice in the fridge, all that's left to do is wait.

He hops up on the counter while he does, picking through his own memories of coming back from the dead. What it had been like. What had made it worse, and what had helped. Those, along with his memories of Margaret, give him some solidified plans by the time the soup starts bubbling.

He hops off the counter and plates everything up. It isn't fancy by any means, but it should help. With soup and juice in hand he heads back upstairs to Varian's room.]

Heyyy, so I gotta run to the treehouse for some junk. I'll be back real quick, can I trust you to stay put?

[Varian had been partly dozing on the bed when Fern walks back in. He pulls himself up in a sitting position, groaning a little as a new wave of dizziness takes hold. Ugh, he hates this, he's already so bored of it. There's a brief flicker of panic as Fern says that he's leaving- only settling when he assures he'll be back. As much as Varian usually relishes his solitude, he'd rather not be left in his own company at present.

And so, he offered a tired smile, crossing a finger over his chest. ]

Trust me, I'm not planning on going anywhere any time soon. Thanks for the soup and... literally everything, actually.

[Fern notices that momentary panic and really only cements in his mind that this needs to be a brief trip. Brief, but necessary. He nods, setting the soup down on the nightstand.]

Don't worry about it. I'll be back before you know it.

[Thank Glob the treehouse isn't that far from Varian's place. Once he's out on the street he's moving fast which... is probably not the best idea, overexerting himself with the poison air and all, but whatever. What's one more burst of energy when he's already put himself through the ringer this month?

He gets back to the treehouse lickity-split and gathers everything up, at the last second deciding to bring Hazel along, too. He's probably going to be spending a while at Varian's and he doesn't want to neglect the poor fire pup. Plus, maybe Ruddiger will enjoy the company.

Once he has everything he makes his way back, deliberately avoiding any signs of robotic bears so as to not get into a fight. His backpack is feeling heavy by the time he arrives, and he's pretty sure he's going to need a long nap after this whole day.

Hazel follows him back up the stairs, scurrying past him and into Varian's room when he peeks in.]

Hey, I'm back.

[While Fern has been away, Varian has managed to kick off his boots and get into bed proper. Still full clothed, but he has not got the energy to go find his non-existent sleepwear right now. He does eat the soup and drink the juice Fern prepared for him, and feels marginally less like death warmed up for it.

He's tapping away at his Fluid, reaching out to people he wronged when Fern returns. Ruddiger hops off the bed to chatter at Hazel, ready to race around the house and do important animal stuff. Varian offers him a small, tired smile- it doesn't quite reach his eyes, but it's there.]

Hey, welcome back.

[He's a little curious about what Fern has lugged here with him, but he's honestly more glad that the other boy returned. He had no real doubt that he would, of course, but it still provides comfort. He's not alone. Which... is much less than what he gave Fern when he died. ]

[Hazel is more than happy to follow after Ruddiger, if only because the poofiness of his tail is clearly something he needs to practice him pouncing skills on.

Fern briefly returns the smile, moving to drop his backpack onto the edge of the bed before sitting down next to it.]

I brought you some stuff. [A lot of stuff, and when he realizes what that sounds like he hurriedly adds:] Uh, not that this means I'm gonna go back to the treehouse or anything. I'll be here as much as you want me to be. I can get you groceries and sleep on the couch, doesn't matter.

[He reaches up, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly.]

The first time I died I wound up living at Will's house for the whole month after. [He's just going to go ahead and not talk about the second time he died.] Not being on my own helped a lot.

[Downsides to living on your own, amirite?]

All of that's for me? And Fern, there's like, three bedrooms in this place. You don't have to sleep on a couch.

[To be fair, this is already the longest he's been in his own bed since he got here.

Varian's smile, small as it already is, fades. Fern might not bring up the second time he died, but Varian sure will. He looks down at the bedclothes, picking at them a little. ]

...That's more than I did for you when you died the second time around. You're well within your right to just leave me to it, you know. No grudges held. I was... a pretty terrible friend.

[He still IS, all things considered.]

[Fern just shrugs a little. Look, if the air wasn't currently trying to murder them all his first preference would be to sleep on the roof. Beds and couches don't really matter to him.

He'll open his backpack up and start pulling stuff out, starting with a bunch of books. Several more of those Choose Your Own Adventure novels Kurt had brought him after he died, as well as a book on Billy, Champion of Ooo's adventures.]

I want to help you, you dummy. What you chose to do isn't a good excuse for me to get a free pass to be a bad friend.

[He is so, so unimpressed with that argument, Varian.]

[Okay but books are the best thing ever and Varian would be lying if seeing the fact Fern owns so many now didn't give him a whole lot of joy. The power of reading!!!.

...And yeah, he can't really argue with that. He clears his throat, offering a fleeting smile. Sorry, Fern, his self-loathing is maxed out today. Give him a day or two to accept he might be worthy of people's affection again. ]

Okay... that's fair. Sorry. And you're a great friend, seriously. I mean, look at all the books!

[He should really thank Kurt for all the reading material.

Fern is just glad they aren't going to argue over this. He knows what it's like recovering from the deathflu alone, and it makes everything about a hundred times worse. Staying at Will's, even though he had felt like crud and couldn't even keep his body together, had been nice. Staying at Will's had felt more like home than any other place in town, and despite the disparity in their feelings Fern at least wants to try to help Varian in that same way.]

Yeah, you're probably gonna get bored being stuck in bed for a week, right? And - [The next thing he pulls out of his backpack is a wreath made of antlers. He stands and goes over to a wall, and apologies, but he's stabbing a large thorn into it so he can hang the wreath.] - this should keep any robots from busting in.

I will definitely get bored stuck in bed for a week. I can't even stay in bed for a night. Or... go to bed at all. Whichever.

[Aside from his awkward message to Kurt apologising for trying to murder him with a robot, Varian's pretty sure they should not be conversing all that much.

He really does appreciate the effort- as much as he feels it's undeserved. He eyes the antler a little, because oh hey, that's - that's a thing. ]

Did it come from Sodder? [There's another pause, because... well. He shouldn't bring this up but he needs to know.] How did you get out of the junkyard? Talking about... robots and all.

They'll be handy, then.

[Even he got bored being stuck in bed for a whole week, he isn't surprised Varian is the same way.]

Uh, yeah. [To his first question. The second question causes a wave of discomfort to overtake Fern as he sits back down on the bed. The junkyard had been an awful time all around, and he'd been pushing all that down so he wouldn't have to think about it.] Some spooky guy helped me out. No big deal. I wasn't dead or anything.

[Just in a thousand pieces. It's fine.]

...A spooky guy?

[That's... not comforting. He kind of figured Fern didn't die, what with the trial and all, but it was close enough. Too close, in all honesty. Varian has seen Fern fall apart more times than he's strictly comfortable with. Once is too much and now he's seen it three times in as many months and it's starting to give him a bit of a complex. ]

That's... something. [His gaze is still down, brow furrowed.] I tried to make sure someone could find you. It was- it was like trying to swim through fog. I couldn't fight it. If I could have, I would have, but that's all I could do before it sucked me under again.

He kind of reminded me of Marceline.

[One day Varian will learn what a goth is.]

You helped. [He scoots closer, so he can rest a comforting hand on Varian's shoulder.] I'd probably still be a pile of grass in the junkyard if you hadn't set off that bomb.

[It wasn't great and he isn't going to even try to deny it, but it was more than Varian just ditching him.]

I know what feels like. [Drowning, fighting for control but only being able to sink even deeper.] You did what you could, and it was enough.

Edited 2020-07-23 18:10 (UTC)

...The vampire who drinks colours?

[He rolls his shoulders in a shrug. It doesn't feel like enough. Nothing feels like enough. He should have been stronger. He should have fought it better. So many people nearly died because he didn't. ]

I wish I could have done more. I should have been able to do more.

Yeah. I mean - his style. [Similar spooky styles.] I think he said his name's Gerard.

[He should probably reach out with a 'thank you for helping me when I was a pile of grass.' That might be warranted.

Fern shifts uneasily. Varian, your guilt is palpable.]

I wish I hadn't picked a fight with Kurt. And not had my stabilizing gem where it was. That was just - a huge mess, and neither of us can go back and change any of it. We gotta live with it. You, me and Kurt.

Don't think I've come across him before.

[Not unusual, Varian isn't exactly a social butterfly. He lets out a soft noise, almost a laugh if it wasn't so bitter and hurt. ]

Great. I'll add it to the ever-growing list of things I have to live with. No problem.

I haven't, either. He seemed okay.

[He feels bad for not being more reassuring, but he can't. He can't just say it's all going to be okay, that Varian will get past it and it won't be a big deal. He'd be lying if he did.]

Sorry, dude. I don't know if it helps any, but you setting off that explosion means.... [He drops his hand so he can fidget with his fingers, because this is hitting some sensitive spots he doesn't like talking about very often.] It means you didn't abandon me. And that's still a big deal to me, even if you think you didn't do enough.

[He appreciates that he really does. Normally the ever-optimistic promise of things being okay might help, but right now... he really doesn't want to hear them. There are no guarantees. Not here.

He sucks in a breath, considering this. He's seen some of Fern's memories- he watches his father abandoned him. That... that explained a lot, when it came to Fern in all honesty. He finally looks at Fern, offing a ghost of a smile. ]

Yeah, I know. It's why I fought so hard to try and do something so you weren't completely abandoned. I wish I could've done more than that, is all.

[That his attempt at making Varian feel better didn't fall completely flat is great, Fern feels a little lighter when he sees that smile. Maybe he isn't as bad at this comforting thing as he's always thought?]

Hey, maybe you'll get another chance to do better.

[And when he realizes how bad that sounds, he pauses awkwardly.]

That... that was supposed to be reassuring.

[Varian's smile fades a touch as he stares off into the middle distance.]

Yeah. Yeah, you probably could have phrased that a little less ominously, there.

[He offers a shaky thumbs-up.]

But I'll take it in the spirit in which it was meant? Still... really don't want a repeat performance of- of literally any of that ever, though.

Th - thanks. Yeah, I don't either.

[If he could go a solid two months without falling apart, that'd just be swell.

He makes a mildly frustrated noise as he sits back.]

I was way better at this when I was Finn.

[Varian would be super okay with Fern never falling apart again. ]

Eh, I get what you meant. I think I probably would have found you doing it as Finn insincere and annoying.

Hah, that's kinda hard to believe. Pretty much everyone back home likes him.

[Even Tiffany sort of came around before dying horribly or whatever.]

[He lifts his shoulders in a half-shrug.]

Yeah, well. I prefer you. And I can say that with confidence now I've seen your memories and actually seen him. So-

[He shrugs again, in a shit you can do about it kind of way. He related to Fern so much more than he ever could some... weirdo idealist. Maybe back before he ruined his own life, he would have found Finn fascinating- the broken mess that he is though? He gets Fern so much more.]

[That Varian has seen his memories of Finn really only makes his confidence in this matter even more baffling. In Fern's opinion, anyways. It's Finn, hero of Ooo, the guy who knows how to talk to people without making them cry, the guy who puts himself out there on the line for people who hate him because it's the right thing to do.]

I don't think I'm ever gonna fully understand that, man.

[Self-loathing is a heck of a thing to be saddled with.]

Well, that's just how it is.

[Varian sits back a little, partly because he's making a point about how very that's how it is to Fern and partly because he's still feeling kinda dizzy and he thinks he should probably lie back a little before he falls back.]

You don't have to get it. My opinions not changing on that one.

Okay. Your choice, I guess.

[As much as he'd like to, he isn't totally sure how he'd go about arguing with Varian on this. Not when his Finn feelings extend beyond idolization and reach into hatred, so part of him doesn't want to argue with him about it.]

I got you one more thing.

[He'll instead pull the last item out of his backpack, a music box. Similar to what Varian used for his robots, but this one is sitting upright and decorated with little bulldogs.]

I said earlier mom had this lullaby she'd sing. It's, uh, guaranteed to put anyone to sleep, and this month is gonna be real rough for you.

[At the sight of the music box, Varian tenses- the memory of his own robots still very much raw. It only lasts a moment, though- he's home, and he's with Fern- he's as safe as he can possibly be. He looks again at the music box in Fern's hands. The dogs remind him of Jake- from Fern's memories, and a small smile tugs at his lips. Right, of course, Fern had been raised by sentient people-dogs. ]

You say that like I slept easy before all of... that. [But he appreciates the gesture a lot. ] But that's... actually really nice of you. How does it work?

[The music box's appearance is an extremely unfortunate and ironic coincidence, one that hasn't escaped Fern's notice. He's hoping it's something Varian can look past, since it's so personal to him and might be incredibly useful for the next month.]

All you do is rotate the handle and sing. Typical lullaby junk.

[No weird Ooo magic or science involved, for once.]

[He lets out a soft 'hmmm'. Lullabies aren't exactly in his wheelhouse- Quirin sure as hell never sang any. Maybe his mother did before she... didn't any more. He doesn't remember them regardless. ]

I don't really have a frame of reference for 'typical lullaby junk'. Can it really make anyone fall asleep?

[Fern just tries to not give Varian a look that scream that is the saddest thing ever. He's probably well aware of that.]

Think so. At least, it always worked on me, Jake and Jermaine. And it did a number on Wildberry Princess and her guards.

[He is very aware of that and is grateful for the effort on Fern's part. That... for sure sounds like magic to Varian. Or at the very least, it must have some mild hypnotic properties. But he's also feeling like crap and sleeping even worse, so it's not like he's in a position to turn this down. He leans back a little.]

Okay, sure. Hit me with it.

Edited 2020-07-26 18:35 (UTC)

[Ironically, there's no hypnotism or magic at work here. It's just a great song.]

Um, okay. But no laughing.

[He did get some practice singing in with Martin, but it still isn't something he's used to with this voice. At any rate, he'll start turning the handle, and with the very slow tune from the music box sing a lullaby that is absolutely meant for small puppies and not human children.

But it's totally the kind of song that's easy to fall asleep to, and by the end of it Fern's kind of nodding off himself.]

[Varian raises a hand, putting the other on his chest, a solemn oath that he will no, indeed, laugh. The tune is very nice, even if it is, indeed, blatantly meant for small puppies and not human children. Regardless, his eyelids feel heavy- probably a combination of exhaustion, sickness and the fact that it's a really nice tune.]

Hey- your voice is pretty good, you've been holding out on me.

[He says it a little muzzily as his head droops, drifting off to sleep. It would probably be a lot cuter if he didn't sleep with his mouth open but that's just how it goes.]

[He'd love to argue that he's barely above tone deaf but, well. Varian's falling asleep, and that's great. Fern is aware how hard that can be when you're recovering from the deathflu, and he doesn't want to ruin that.

He is also falling asleep, which is a little less great. He may have played himself here, because when has Margaret's lullaby never not made him pass out? He at least manages to get through the entire song, though the last few words are more mumbling than singing as he starts tilting sideways. Once he hits the bed he's out like a light.]

[Fern absolutely played himself. And Varian at least gets about an hour of good, solid sleep in before the other side effect of the deathflu starts to seep in.

Varian's no stranger to nightmares, the red rocks only brought to the waking world what he experienced on the regular anyway- but this was not that dream. The lullaby had lulled him into a dreamless sleep- right until it stopped being that. That bear's horrible cackling leaked into his sleep, and he suddenly found himself trapped in the amber again- struggling but unable to pull his arm free. Panic set in as his own robot lumbered up to him, arms raised before coming crashing down-

Varian jerks awake with a yell, eyes wide and unfocussed- not quite back in his room safe and sound quite yet- trying to gulp down air as the panic overrides his other senses. ]

[It's a good nap, all things considered. Fern isn't in the most comfortable position but when you're grass you don't need to worry about things like spines and muscles, so he doesn't really move from where he is aside from shifting a little to get cozier. All the stress from the last few weeks have been building up, and he needs the rest.

Unlike Varian, he only has his usual bad dreams, ones that aren't enough to wake him up. He, however, is not immune to yelling, so when Varian's breaks the silence of the bedroom Fern starts, his eyes snapping open and a grass sword forming in his hand. He slices at the air once or twice as he fully wakes up, and once he has the sword retreats back into his hand. Then he's pushing himself up, alarmed, his brain processing what just happened. That's when he sees Varian, apparently in the midst of some kind of panic.]

What - Varian?

[He moves closer, to gently grab his shoulders.]

Hey!

[Varian isn't aware of the sword, or Fern, immediately. His eyes are still wide, staring out at nothing, still trapped in the nightmare. He vaguely realises something isn't right, that he isn't there - but trying to crawl back to wakefulness isn't easy.

His breath catches a few more times until he feels Fern's hands on his shoulders. He blinks, his eyes clearing, his breathing still quick and uneven. He can't push words out yet, but he reaches out with one hand to grasp at Fern's arm- just to fee something solid and real there as he tries to even out his breathing. ]

[Oh, oh geez. Fern catches onto what's happening quick enough, having gone through this himself twice already. The nightmares have to be even worse than the flu symptoms, honestly, and he's a lot less prepared to deal with these.

He squeezes Varian's shoulders a little, worried, his mind racing to come up with something that will help.]

You were dreaming. It was only a dream.

[It takes him a few moments to get his breathing under control. Of course, once he does, it starts off a coughing fit which is... not ideal. It takes a few more moments for that to get under control before he heaves out a shaky sigh.]

Yup. This is the worst thing ever. Note to me: don't die again.

[Fern's going to keep his hold on Varian, at least until the other boy is done coughing and comfortable letting go of him.]

Too bad it's not that easy.

[He's such a downer, sorry.]

You, uh. You get a whole month of the nightmares.

[Varian is definitely not letting go yet, he's maintaining his death-grip on Fern's arm. ]

Great. Wonderful. Because I didn't get enough of those already.

[Okay, okay, this is fine. He's just going to awkwardly pull one hand away from Varian's shoulder and onto the hand that's currently doing the death-grip.]

Yeahhh, it's the worst. My mental vault and that candle I got in my basket got a workout when I died.

[Hurrah for coping mechanisms?]

[He appreciates the move, Fern, he really does. He lets out a soft hum. He remembers the candle. Good for easing mental stress, though that...backfired on them pretty badly when they used it together. ]

Y-yeah, I can see why those would be handy to fall back on.

[He lets out a shuddery breath, the death grip relaxing a little.]

They last a whole month?

[He frowns and gives a small nod. Not the answer anyone would want, but that's life in Deerington for you. It sucks and seeing Varian like this is crushing his metaphorical heart.]

... I didn't use up the whole candle, if you want to give it a try.

[He'll get it if he doesn't, but it did genuinely help him sleep after he had died.]

[The candle is not his favourite thing, but he's also not stupid. This... is not going to get any easier.]

...Are you sure? I don't want to use up something that might be important to your further down the road. We both know this place will make sure you'll need it one day.

Seems like it's important right now. I'd rather use it when I know it'll help than just let it sit around in case I need it one day.

[Varian is right, chances are he'll need it down the road, but the undefined future is a lot less important to him at the moment.]

It's back at the treehouse. I can go grab it.

You say that now, but you'll be cursing my name when you actually need it in the future.

[Still, he relents, heaving out a sigh.]

...Yeah, okay. If you're sure.

I'm sure enough that I even promise I'll keep my mouth shut if I regret it in the future.

[He's fairly sure that won't happen, though.

Giving Varian's hand a pat he extricates himself from his hold before getting to his feet.]

I'll be back before you know it.

[Geez, he really needs a car or a motorcycle or something. Maybe he can ask his blessings basket for Starchy's bike? Or Hot Daniel. Hot Daniel 2.0. That'd be nice.

.... Or maybe he could ask Max for a lift. He isn't sure if that would be weird, though. Jake gave him rides all the time back home, but Jake's his brother.

At any rate he'll make the second trip to the treehouse, again trying to go as quick as possible. He'll grab the mostly melted candle, as well as the Enchiridion and Billy's gem just in case, then book it back to Varian's. When he returns he dumps the book and gem on the couch and scoops up Hazel, then heads back upstairs.]

Okay, one weird deer candle that'll help with nightmares!

[Which he slams onto the nightstand, before carefully holding Hazel over it. The fire wolf pup wiggles and lights it easily, and Fern sets him on the ground so he can scurry off to go hunt Ruddiger. With the candle lit Varian's whole bedroom is going to be affected, so goodbye physical and mental anguish.]

[Despite everything, despite being sure Fern will regret this choice one day (even if he keeps quiet about it) Varian is glad for it. As much of a mess that the last candle made things, he does remember how calming it was. It's something he desperately needs- while everything feels like it's crashing down around his ears.

Max would have absolutely given him a lift. Fern missed out on a pretty epic horse ride. Next time. gadget. While Fern was away, Varian had gone back to his Fluid, checking things out- sending Ruddiger off with his messages to Ruby- reaching out to people he'd wronged. It was all very much emotionally taxing and seeing Fern arrive back does bring a smile to his face. As soon as Fern lights the candle, Varian can feel his shoulders relaxing- the weight he's been carrying sliding off. He didn't realise how tense he was, how much he'd been carrying until it was lifted. He sits back a little, closing his eyes just to... enjoy the moment of peace. ]

Okay, yeah. Fair. This is way better. [He opens one eye, regarding the Enchiridion and the gem. ] Hey, the portal book.

[Next time he is getting the most epic horse ride ever.

The candle's effects hits him too, and he instantly feels a lot more comfortable. Enough so that he just flops onto the bed next to Varian.

He knows this stupid candle can be incredibly dangerous, but after this month it just feels really, really nice to have a break from his own head.]

More reading material. Also this -

[He holds up Billy's gem, though it doesn't seem to do much... so he bangs on the book, and after a moment a beam comes out of the gem and hits the little shield in one corner of the cover. It opens up and from that spot comes a red hologram that immediately launches into some very multiversal talk.]

[Varian doesn't protest, at least. Perhaps, with how things are, he'd start to feel a touch awkward about it all- but while the candle burns, he's relaxed for the first time in... a while.

The hologram is fascinating, and he leans forward a little to peer at it- looking at it in wonder. He understands some of what is being said, and it's just like Fern said. Get the gems, the book becomes a portal. ]

This is amazing. We can definitely use this! If we can get the book to work and be able to create the right link to the right world, we could go anywhere!

[It's so nice to be excited about non-murdery science again, thank you for this gift, Fern.]

[Most of the technical talk flies right over Fern's head, so at least he has personal experience to go off of when it comes to using the Enchiridion. Even if said personal experience isn't all that pleasant....

Doesn't matter. Varian's excited, and having the genius science nerd excited can only mean good things in the success of this plan.]

Yeah. I've seen it in action, so it can't be that hard to do ourselves.

[It's a reassuring thought, honestly.]

It'll be great. No more being stuck in worlds where neither of us fit.

I'm pretty certain if we got the right equipment, we could do something with this.

[He hesitates- the candle at least takes away the biting, negative thoughts. It evens them out, flattens the anxiety spikes and the depression lows. Everything is... plateaued right now, and he's glad of it.

The thought of just running is tempting. He could go somewhere where no one knew who he was, what he did. But then Deerington had been this and look what happened there. There's no running - and he doesn't want to any more. It's lost its sheen. ]

I need to go back to Corona one day. If I don't work out that final incantation... I don't know. But I know I'm needed, and I need to fix the mess I've made there. And see my friends. My dad.

[He gave everything to get his dad back, he doesn't want to never see him again. But he has people here who mean so much to him. Friends who are practically family at this point - people he can't bear to lose. And then there's Ruby... and Fern. He sits back a little, watching the hologram and all the little worlds spinning around in it.]

You could always come to Corona, y'know. Rapunzel has a lot of Royal Guards, but she hasn't got a knight.

[Unlike Varian, Fern is positive there isn't much he can do back home to fix things. He isn't even sure he'd want to fix things, considering his feelings towards Finn haven't changed very much. Besides, people in Varian's world sound a little more forgiving than people in Ooo.

So he isn't exactly disappointed at Varian's response. He knows their situations are similar, but not the exact same, and the candle has him too chilled out to get overly emotional over it. Besides, it's hard to be disappointed when he's getting an offer like that.

It makes him pause and look down at the book thoughtfully. It's... heartwarming, honestly. If the candle wasn't burning he'd be freaking out about it, so there's a good chance he'll go do that later. Right now though, he just grins and little and rubs the back of his head.]

... Well, it's not like I got much going on back in Ooo. [Nnnope, just a whole lot of burned bridges he's gone and made in one fell swoop. It's impressive, really.]

Pretty sure if I'm not dead everyone's gonna want me executed. Or at least hate me for trying to kill Finn.

[Bonnibel definitely won't stand for it. Or Jake. BMO and NEPTR might be a little more forgiving, but there's no way he'd be allowed near either of them again.]

It might be kinda cool. Something to think about, huh?

[Corona is ceaselessly, infuriatingly forgiving. It's been both a source of comfort and angst for Varian through the last few months back home. When you can't forgive yourself for what you've done but everyone around you does, what are you supposed to do with that? He doesn't know.

He'd be lying if it wasn't something he'd thought about before- since he learned Fern was very likely dead back in Ooo. Why should he have to go back to being dead when the rest of them went home and lives their lives? It wasn't fair. The idea was nothing new to him, the candle just gave him the requisite courage to voice it.]

Yeah, no one will wanna kill you there. Corona is like, the forgiveness capital of the world, and bonus? The Princess literally has seventy foot of magical, indestructible hair and there's magic out there that turns people into freaking birds. Pretty sure after all that they wouldn't think twice about the plant thing.

[He reaches down to give Fern's hand a comforting pat with his own and promptly neglects to move it, partly thanks to the candle muddying his thought process, partly due to him focusing on the hologram again. ]

The trick is going to be making sure everyone keeps their memories intact. It's obvious leaving the dream erases them- so I need to work out what does that and stop it.

[Despite this being his own life Fern has been doing his best to try and not think too deeply at what may happen if he leaves Deerington. There was that weird man who was picking up the pieces of his body, but there's the distinct possibility that unlike most of the other people here he may not wake up at all. That thought, the idea that Deerington is all he has left, has been too much. So he's just tried not to think about it.

But this could be another option. It could be his best option, like a little pinpoint of light in an otherwise dark and impenetrable forest. Going to a world where he might not be able to burn bridges like he did in Ooo, have a princess who might be able to actually deal with him, and to get to be with Varian....]

That sounds too good to be true.

[But he's willing to trust Varian on this one. It's his world, after all.

He looks down at their hands after a few moments, and he should probably move his, but he doesn't. Instead he turns his a little, enough that he can hold Varian's. It's nice, Varian isn't wearing gloves for once, so he can feel the warmth of his skin against his grass.]

Not sure I can be any help there, but if anyone can figure something that complicated out it's you.

[Varian lets out a soft, airy 'heh'. Corona always comes across as that to a lot of people, and he supposes in a lot of ways, it is. It wasn't the first time he's realised he's...pretty lucky in terms of a home world. As messy as it is right now, he knows he has people who care about him. He knows everyone there will keep fighting to get Cass back. To make everything right again. Rapunzel won't allow it any other way. ]

Corona can be like that sometimes, yeah.

[He casts their hands a passing glance- that... probably isn't wise. If the candle wasn't burning he would have pulled away in a panic. Things are already complicated and this won't help matters. But it's fine. It's cool. Friends hold hands, it's a friend thing. Rapunzel holds everyone's hands. It's C O O L.

Any growing panic that maybe it's not cool is doused out by the candle. He clears his throat, turning his attention back to the hologram. ]

Y-yeah, well. Thanks. I think I need to work out more of what makes this place tick. Once I understand more of how Deerington works, I'll be able to work out how to use that to our advantage.

[It sounds a lot better than Ooo is, honestly. Not that Fern dislikes Ooo at all, he loves the place and doesn't want to give it up, but he doesn't really have many options, here. Trying to kill Ooo's beloved hero will do that. So... maybe a fresh start where people are more forgiving isn't such a bad idea.]

Might be nice, being somewhere where I haven't totally screwed up yet.

[Fern is just happy Varian isn't pulling away. It's just... it's nice, and comforting. And after a few moments Fern glances back down as he realizes something.]

Right, yeah. A lot of Sleepers are helping with that. [He's distracted as he says that, though, and he hesitates before shifting his grip a little so that he can hold his fingers against Varian's wrist. He's kind of baffled when he speaks again.]

Dude, it's been years since I felt a heartbeat.

[See, Corona is strangely okay with that kind of thing so long as you say sorry and don't do it again. It's weird. Corona is weird. ]

Yeah, it's... pretty okay. As a place, I mean.

[A little less okay what with Cass trying to murder them and everything right now but it's fine, it'll be fine. He glances down at their hands again, as Fern moves, raising his eyebrows. At least he's not having an awkward panic attack about it.]

Uh... oh. Um. Cool? Y-yay that I still have one? [Varian you literally came back from the dead today, don't joke about this. ]

[Corona beats out a kingdom made of literal candy in terms of sweetness. It's weird and impressive all rolled into one.

Fern is just looking very intently at their hands now.]

Well - yeah, obviously. [He gives a not at that, yay for not being dead.] But I don't have one. I - I don't know, I never thought about it before. Not having a heart, I mean. I think about not having a stomach a lot, but not this.

[It's a little surreal and he's really glad the candle is lit, because this is the stuff existential nightmares are made of.]

[Don't ever tell them that, Fern. Not only will they put it on a banner, but they'll add it to their list of umpteen national holidays. ]

...I never really thought about it either.

[Honestly, because aside from trying to work out ways to make Fern's life easier here-like the plant supplement chemicals or the secret project he's been trying to get finished before winter sets in - he's never really thought of Fern as anything other than a person. He was a person with very different needs to everyone else in town, but he was still a person. Things like missing a heart never crossed his mind. It never really mattered. ]

Are you- I mean, are you okay?

[He will keep that information to himself.]

... I don't know.

[He's being honest here, and as he contemplates this he's going to take Varian's hand in both of his, so it's a bit easier to him to feel his pulse.]

Not having a heart means I don't need to worry about dying if I get stabbed there. Which for this place is really great. [He's frowning a little.] Even back home Bonnie once stopped Finn from sacrificing himself to save people, because if he died she couldn't bring him back.

[That was an incredibly heavy conversation he never expected to have.]

But it's one more thing I don't have. First I'm missing out on breathing and eating, now I'm missing out on having a heartbeat.

[Varian glances down at their hands, brow furrowing. The candle is thankfully taking the edge off the weird feeling settling in his chest. Probably a good thing or that pulse would have for sure spiked.

He wonders if that means Fern is effectively immortal. Oh, he can die, Varian's seen that with his own eyes more times than he'd like to think about. But if nothing intervened- if he wasn't exposed to something that could kill grass- would Fern just keep... going? HIs grass is always re-growing, and it's not like he has any organs to maintain that will eventually get old and wear down. He doesn't voice this thought- there's no way that would do Fern any good right now. Probably never. ]

Well. [He lets the word hang there for a moment, trying to figure what to say next. How to provide some comfort. "I'm sorry you don't have any of these things" sounds a little flat. ] I think that just makes you unique, and that- it doesn't have to be a bad thing. I mean you can photosynthesise, that's pretty cool, I sure can't do that. And you can do that cool vine thing with your hands? [He gives a shrug of his shoulders.] I don't know, I just never really thought about what you were lacking and more about what you do have, the things that make you... you. Categorically Fern. And despite what you think, I think that's pretty cool, who you are.

[Thankfully, Fern hasn't gotten far enough to consider his own potential immortality. He's still processing the feeling of Varian's heartbeat, how in all his time here he's never had the chance to feel his own slow down when he's hanging out with friends, or speed up when he's dealing with the horrors of town. It's such a stupid little thing that everyone else probably takes for granted, but it's a stupid little thing he doesn't get to experience anymore. It isn't fair.

When Varian speaks up he drags his gaze away from his hand to look over, quiet. Hearing this is a little embarrassing, though thanks to the candle it doesn't reach his usual levels of self-loathing. And more importantly than that, it's touching. He's unique. He might not think the photosynthesizing thing is cool, but Varian does, and he agrees that the vine thing is alright.

It's hard to think of who he is as cool. But Varian does, and that means something important to him. He smiles a little.]

Thanks, dude. You make being me not sound so bad.

[He offers a smile of his own. He's not exactly the best at pep talks- he's never needed to be, Rapunzel fields that very well on her own, and when she can't do it, Eugene or Lance can usually step up to the plate. He's usually there for the abject pessimism. ]

Of course, it's not bad. I mean- I get it, thinking that you're... not. [Because both of them are goddamn experts in self-loathing at this point. ] But I promise you that none of that matters. The heartbeat, or breathing or... whatever. You still think, you still feel. That's what matters, not the inner workings. You're just as much of a person as I am.

[Fern gets it. Whenever he's attempted pep talks he's managed to actively make the situation worse. So as far as pep talks go, this one is pretty good. Varian isn't trying to pretend everything is okay, like neither of them are festering balls of self-loathing, and he appreciates that.]

Not gonna lie, it's hard to believe that sometimes. [A lot of the time.] I'll try to remember what you're saying though, that those things don't make me a person. For when it gets really bad.

[You know, when he's having really bad days and melting down.]

[He could never pretend things are okay. That would be lying and Varian's trying not to do that with the people who matter. Not with something as big as this, anyway. ]

I know. I understand, I really understand. [Because he's always so good at remaining a garbage child, too, really.] And good, I'm glad. Because you should.

[He hesitates, clear his throat.]

R-Rapunzel has this thing she believes in, this little saying. It's in her journal. Plus est en vous. It's French, it translates to "there is more in you". She likes it a lot, it's a pretty big deal for her. But I think it works pretty well in this situation too.

[He's aware that he isn't exactly going to be good at this, nor is it going to be easy with how bad his head can get sometimes, but he can try. Trying has to be better than not bothering at all.

That should be the end of it, but when Varian speaks up again Fern blinks. That is... surprisingly deep.]

Plus est en vous?

[It almost sounds like a term Bonnie would know. He doesn't have all that much experience with French, so as he's thinking about this he repeats it, to try and get the pronunciation down.]

Plus est en vous.

[There is more in you. While Fern can feel the echoes of uncertainty creeping into his mind (there isn't more in him, maybe in other people, but not him), it's still a little... encouraging? Without sounding hollow or like some cheesy inspirational line. He can see why Varian is bringing it up, and he doesn't want to dismiss it with his usual self-deprecating pessimism. Nope, right now he wants to try.]

I think it does, too. Sounds like the kind of think you wanna repeat to yourself when you're feeling lower than crud.

[Or rather, sounds like the kind of think he should repeat to himself. Varian too, if he isn't already.]

[It was something Rapunzel clung to desperately, and he had to admit, it had a nice ring to it. A pinpoint to focus hope on when everything else was so very awful. When he felt like the worst possible person, when all his self-loathing felt like it was going to swallow him whole- it was a reminder than it wasn't all he was. Things could get better. ]

I think that's the point of it, yeah. Kind of makes all of the bad stuff feel... I don't know, less? Like you can be more than what you think you are.

[He feels a little awkward bringing it up because that's a lot of good feeling emotion in one sitting for him.]

A-anyway. I thought it might help?

I get what you mean.

[Fern nods a little. Making the bad stuff feel less, yeah, he understand that.]

We'll have to find out, huh?

[He isn't about to make any assumptions, especially not when the candle is currently keeping his head from becoming a tsunami of too many emotions. It does, however, mean he's going to try. He's - going to try to try, since he knows how hard even trying can be when his mind is being really tumultuous. But right now he wants to think that he'll at least be able to try. Varian would want him to, Kurt would want him to, Will would want him to. Even if he completely fails at the trying part, he's pretty sure all of them would just be happy he did his best.

Which is a little weird to think about, but the candle is really helping him accept that for once.]

... Thanks.

I guess only time will tell, huh?

[If it works. If it helps. But the fact Fern is willing to try means the world. Varian is the furthest from being emotionally stable yet. His life is still a huge goddamn mess. But he's made steps towards fixing himself- and he wants Fern to be able to do the same. Neither of them might ever be completely healed- there's likely always going to be something broken about the both of them. But if they can make do with what they have- grow from that... well, that's something.

He offers a little smile. Glad for the candle allowing this conversation at all. ]

You're welcome.

[It's nice knowing he won't have to make those steps alone. Fern is almost positive he wouldn't be able to do that, he'd probably just end up backsliding even harder than ever. The possibility of that not being an inevitability is kind of encouraging, and after a moment he speaks up when he realizes that this should be a two-way street.]

I hope you're thinking about it too, after the whole mess from this month.

[Varian needs it more than he does right now, honestly. His own behaviour wasn't great, but it's nothing compared to how hard Varian actually did backslide.]

The town didn't make you into anything you're not, but you're also a lot more than that. I know you are.

[Varian's already small smile drops like a rock. He was more than okay with helping Fern deal with his problems- his own... are still very tender. He's not sure if he's ready to allow himself even a sliver of forgiveness yet. He looks down at where his hand is still in Fern's - and it's only for the candle that he doesn't just bail on the entire conversation.

The town didn't make you into anything you're not. This gives him some degree of comfort. Anyone else might not be able to see how, but to Varian, it was far better than the promises that he was better. That he wasn't that person any more. Because if that were true, the town wouldn't have been able to pull it out from him to use it against people he cared about. No, he couldn't reconcile with the idea that wasn't him, but the idea there was more after that was a little easier to swallow. ]

Yeah. I- uh... I think I need a little time to be able to find that. I think I'm okay just wallowing in the self-loathing for a little while longer.

[Seeing Varian's smile fade isn't encouraging, though he isn't all that surprised. Self-loathing is a real killer, and he doesn't expect Varian to dig himself out of that hole right away. Fern is just hoping this is something he'll remember, something he can come back to, once he's ready to start pushing past the guilt and hatred of himself and what he did.

So all he does is nod. He understands. After you've done something horrible you need time to just wallow and feel bad.]

Yeah, that's fair. Um, do some resting in between all the wallowing.

[He looks down at their hands as well, before he continues.]

I should let you rest.

[At least here in Deerington, Varian has better tools to dig himself out now. It will still take him time, one step at a time- but he has people here who matter a whole lot to him. He's got a relatively good life here. He just needs to be able to take stock, give himself space to beat the self-loathing back to a manageable level. ]

Yeah, resting is probably a good idea.

[Because he feels like trash and he knows he's got at least a week of this to look forward to. Impulsively, he gives Fern's hand a small squeeze.]

Okay... and thanks. You've- uh... you've really helped. Couldn't have done this without you.

[There's a slight pause as Fern looks a little surprised at the squeeze, but returns it before climbing too his feet. He doesn't put the candle out, Varian is free to do with it as he likes and he's aware of how important it's going to be for him to be able to get some decent rest over the next week.]

Hey, no problem.

[He's just happy to be able to do anything to make this whole mess a little easier to handle.

He'll head for the door.]

Just text me if you need anything. [Since yelling probably isn't going to happen, at least not for a few days.]

[Varian lets the candle burn... for now. Probably a waste, but he desperately wants to sleep- and he's not convinced he can do it without the candle's influence. He gives a small, lazy salute.]

Will do.

[Yelling is for sure not going to happen for a while. He lays down proper on the bed again, at least he should be able to get a little shut-eye. It helps knowing Fern's around standing guard if he needs it. ]

Hey, V.
Not that I care that much or anything, but.
Are you holding up?

[Well. This isn't a message he was expecting. He sits up in bed, staring at it for a moment, wondering if maybe he's hallucinating. Probably not, though.]

About as well as a reanimated corpse can be, I guess. Been better.

Did you get through it okay? Not that I care that much or anything.

Wait.
You died too?
Gods, there needs to be a better way to get this information out there.

Yeah. I got sucked into one of those trials. It was deserved.

Like a deathwatch or something? Might make life easier. Who else died? Did you?

[oh, fuck.]

[no. she won't be the one to tell him. she doesn't have that right. there's just... a delay in her response. the little "💎 is typing..." notif appears and disappears a few times.]

Too many people. I'm just surprised that you did enough to get on the bear's radar.
But I guess it doesn't take much.
I've been lucky enough to dodge him so far, but I'm trying to lay as low as I can while all this is going on.
Maybe I just haven't caused enough trouble since I got here.

[He watches her take her time with her response- he's not got a whole lot else left to do laid up in bed, after all. It strikes him as odd, but it could equally be Emerald showing how much she doesn't care as it could mean something serious has happened.

Normally he'd be hedgy around his past- but that's been well and truly unearthed at this point. He's tired of keeping up the lie and it's clear the town won't allow him to do so regardless. ]

There's a lot you don't know about me. There was a point in my past where I was a legitimate threat. Kidnapping, blackmail, high treason, all the fun stuff. I tried to kill innocent people, got sent to prison for a year once they managed to stop me. I've tried to redeem myself from that mess since then, but this month just forced that all back to the forefront. I attacked a lot of people here. I'm honestly surprised the bear took as long as he did to catch me.

Good. Try and keep out of his way. It's a super not fun way to die.

[and he rehabilitated himself. and he worked hard to change who he was. and he'd earned the trust of Ruby Rose (not that that was hard) and he'd become not only an upstanding member of society, but a friend to everybody on team RWBY.]

[another pause in response, but this time it's because she doesn't know what to say, rather than how to say it.]

Ask Ruby what I've done sometime. See if it makes sense to her that you and I get along.
It really doesn't take much to tear down redemption, does it? You can work for years and something like this can just happen.
The world can just happen to you and take everything away and you won't be able to do anything but start from the bottom again.

Almost makes you wonder if making up for the things you've done in the past is worth it.

[It had taken a lot of hard work to get there- back home and here. A lot of lying too, especially here. Obsfucating his past from all but a select few. It did nothing for his self-worth, of course. That was one thing that never healed. He's quiet, mulling it over because that's- that's quite the thought. One he's had himself, mostly at the start of things, where most of Corona still despised him and he felt like he was swimming uphill the whole time. They had every right to hate him, of course, but it didn't make it any easier. ]

I'd rather you decide for yourself if you want to tell me anything. This place takes that choice away from us too often.

I like to think it is. Because even if you can be dragged back to step one again, you owe it to the people you hurt to try and make it right. You might never feel okay and that's something you just have to carry with you. But it's important. To try and leave the world in a better state than you put it in. Regardless of if it actually redeems you or not. What's important is trying to fix your mess- that's something that should always be on you.

You just have to decide if you want to fix things or let them stay broken.

[fix things or let them stay broken. well, Penny's back. Ruby's dead, but she'll be coming back, too. what's left? what's left for Emerald to fix? the world she lives in? the society that made her? sure. and then maybe she'll stab Salem right where her heart should be and save Remnant singlehandedly.]

The kind of stuff that still needs to be fixed is more in your girlfriend's wheelhouse.
Everything else fixed itself without me.
So what now? What's left?

You don't have to answer that.

I'll answer it anyway.

[Because he's helpful like that. And it's something he feels she needs to know.]

That person I told you about back home who is very... Ruby-esque does most fo the fixing, too. Thing is, you need to help mend the stuff you can't see so easily. It's not just one thing you do, you just need to add good to the world bit by bit. Sometimes you'll mess it up, but it's important tog et up again and keep at it. Even if you feel like you don't deserve it any more because it stops being about you when other people are the victims. You kind of need to put them before yourself for a while.

So you build their faith in you, a little bit at a time. Doesn't have to be a grand gesture. Help them move some boxes. Do something to make their day a little easier. Be there to answer the call if they need you. I'm still working on mine, but I was getting there, back home.

[...]

Something like turning back around to save Ruby's life after she saved mine in the labyrinth?
Or letting her friends know that I'm not interested in getting any kind of revenge on her for anything?
That kind of thing, you mean?

Sure. That kind of thing. Little by little.

Redemption is kind of like restoring, I don't know, a chair. When you start, it's been tossed out for ages, it's all messed up and splintered, parts of it are torn, it's been through some stuff and it's categorically broken, tossed out and useless. But little by little you fix it up. Give it new stuffing, maybe fill in a couple of cracks on the legs. Sometimes you might mess it up, break a piece off because you tried too hard, or couldn't save something in time, but you keep going anyway. Eventually, you get a functioning chair again. You can't ever get it looking exactly like it did before- it can't be the same chair it was before it got tossed out, that's impossible. But you get something different, built on what was left behind. It's still a chair, it's still good, it's just got... a messier history now, is all.

...Or something like that, I'm an alchemist, not a writer, I'm not so good with the allegories. Rapunzel could probably do it way more flowery and probably throw in some super encouraging pep talk buzz words in there too. But she isn't here, so you're gonna have to settle for me and my cruddy broken chair analogy.

You really have been hanging out around her for too long.
Throw in some random crap about cookies and you'd sound just like her.

I think I have a couple ideas. I should probably talk to... a couple people.
I guess if nothing else, I have some time. I don't have to do all of this at once.
It would probably be really weird if I did, and it would be the most draining thing I've ever done, too.
Going from doing nothing to redeem myself to doing everything to redeem myself in a day and a half? Gods, can you imagine?

Oh no, did that sound OPTIMISTIC? It's finally happened. I caught it. It's probably terminal.

HAH. HAH. Yeah.
Imagine that.
Crazy.

I mean. If say, someone was trying to blow up like, THE ENTIRE TOWN and you were the only person who could stop that. And then you did. Also kind of maybe tried to turn it into a suicide mission but apparently THAT'S not acceptable. So you get to live through that. And get like pardoned and stuff for stopping the thing from murdering literally everyone. Sometimes that can happen.

As a completely unrelated and random example plucked out of thin air.

But also the people you saved still kind of hate you but then you save them again from magical nightmare rocks that literally bring their worst fears to life and getting rid of that apparently negates all the bad things you did because people are fickle. Also sometimes happens.

As an equally completely unrelated and random example.

Also plucked from thin air.

And absolutely not from personal experience.

Man.
Good thing it's not from personal experience or it would really put being a professional Dust thief into perspective.

I mean, a professional Dust thief who's stuck working under someone who wants to kill everybody on the planet, but still.

I've never been optimistic for a second in my life and if you think you can infect me with it, you've got another thing coming, V.

That wanting to kill everyone on the planet thing does kind of spin on it.

[Also Rapunzel and Salem are kind of the same person but Varian's just going to continue his long tradition of not talking about that ever.]

I might not be able to, but be careful around Ruby. She's how I got it. She's not careful how she spreads it around.

[Kids, it's optimism, not an STD.]

[hey, optimism is a social disease. like the fantasy Bon Jovi song.]

I know. She's terrible.
Thinking that everyone can be forgiven and actually giving people the chance to forgive themselves... hearing people out if they need to work through guilt...

I hate that she'll probably end up being good for me. I know I say that all the time but I'm starting to think I won't actually hate it.
Gods, I must be losing my mind.
If she helped reform someone who did everything you've done, I'm gonna be child's play.

That sounds like her alright. There's a couple of other people like her around here too. If you ever see someone called Usagi? Hoo boy, she's like Ruby times 100. Which I didn't think was actually possible, but here we are.

Well, to be fair Rapunzel did most of my reforming back home. Ruby's been more of a stepping stone to... normalcy? I guess. But it does feel good, eventually. Or at least you feel better about TRYING to be better? I'm not all the way there yet but from the view half-way there? It's... not so bad.

Listen, I don't want to bare my soul or anything here.
But you're still, like... you can still do the things you did before Rapunzel and Ruby started trying to win you over to their side, right?
You're just doing them with different goals in mind. It's not like you had to drop everything about your "old life" to start making up for it.

Not that that's something I'm worried about or anything.

God forbid we have any soul-bearing. Who wants that? Not us.
But yeah, there's a different set of problems here, but I'm working on making things better for people here. Can't do anything back home while I'm dreaming here, so- Fixing stuff here is the best I can do.

Of course you're not. Would never dare thing otherwise.

That's encouraging, I guess.
There's probably some way to spin being a thief into something that can actually do some good for them.
'Cause I get the feeling they're not gonna be too happy if I just try to steal stuff for myself. If I can even still steal anything around here.
Stealing's a victimless crime anyway, I don't know why the cats get so angry about it.

You can always do the Robin Hood thing? Stealing from the rich to give to the poor or something. Or stealing from Mother Superior. I don't think stealing from her counts. Or the Mayor.
The cats get touchy about arson too, it's rude. Surely there's bigger things to be concerned about. Like all the murder.

Edited 2020-07-28 23:01 (UTC)

Like... the Atlesian rebel leader? I'm pretty sure her name's Robyn Hill, but close enough, I guess. Didn't expect Ruby to know much about her. It's not a bad idea either way.
The cats really do need to sort out their priorities. Like, I know they work for Mother Superior (probably), but there's petty crime and then there's people getting kidnapped and burned alive. Get it together already.

What? No. I mean Robin Hood? He's from Earth folklore. Had a group of bandits who lived in the forest. You can probably find books about him in the library.

[Oh god, is this another case of someone showing up in Remnant. The Rapunzel/Salem thing is weird enough, thanks.]

I think they like to turn a blind eye to things beyond them. You know. Like real guards. Or... police. Whichever.

Folklore from where you're from, huh...? I don't know. It's probably pretty hard to measure up to Robyn Hill and her band of Happy Huntresses working in secret to right injustice and fight for the common man, woman, and Faunus, all while some jerk in his ivory tower tries everything he can do to stop her because he likes having power too much.

Which, now that I say it, really makes me think you're on the right track with those cats. Can't trust a cop as far as you can throw them.

Happy Huntresses. Huh. It's Merry Men where I'm from. That's so weird the story matches too. They're fighting against a king and unfair taxes to the people.

[But Robin Hood is a story and Rapunzel is flesh and blood. So how are both a thing in Remnant? Maybe... maybe it's just weird coincidence. Remnant is a weird place. So yeah. Yeah. Just coincidence. ]

You categorically cannot. No pun intended. You're better giving them as wide a berth as possible. I mean, they did nothing this month and look at how many people were murdered.

...Maybe I should do some reading after all.
Any other stories you think I should be keeping an eye on? Just based off what you've talked about with Red.
I'm sure you two have had a lot of conversations about what your worlds are like.

[she's just guessing at what people in a healthy relationship do. and also assuming that V and Ruby are in a healthy relationship.]

Of course they didn't do anything against giant bear robots. They're cowards. And/or prey.

I always encourage reading. Books are your friends. I don't think so? But I haven't really compared notes over how much might be similar. I have the Adventures of Flynngean Rider if you ever want to read an adventure book. I've got the whole collection of those from home.

[Is "sometimes on fire" healthy? Probably not. ]

Maybe both. And I know I tried to murder a LOT of people and I didn't see a single cat. Which, honestly, would have solved a lot of my problems if they had intervened.

[Ruby wouldn't have had to shoot him in the leg and get herself traumatised from that for one thing.]

Never heard anything about Flynngean Rider... it might be something good to look over.
Hell, maybe we could hang out and trade notes. I probably know some things that Ruby doesn't, not that any of them are that interesting.
Maybe sometime when we aren't running the risk of people being put on public trial or whatever, I could head over and we can do storytime.
You know, like adults.

I think he's exclusive to my world, I haven't seen mention of him anywhere else. But the stories are really good. I've loved them since I was little. And sure, that would be good. I want to learn more about Remnant.

Hah. Sure. Like adults. I can even make sure we have hot cocoa and marshmallows. So we can drink them. Like adults.

Sounds like an adult plan, for adults. I'll pencil you in, or something.
Add you to my F-calendar.
It's... ugh, gross. It's NICE to have something to look forward to.

Do I want to ask what an F-Calendar is? I feel a little scared to, but I'm also morbidly curious- so.

Welcome to having a social life, I guess? It's weird, I don't get it either.

Relax, it just stands for Fluid.
Some of the tech bros I ran into used that kind of language for their Scrolls back home and I just wanted to say it.
I figure a guy who goes by V wouldn't have a problem with someone trying to talk cool. ;)

Okay, that makes a lot of sense. And yes, very funny, you have me pegged completely. You sure got MY number.

So does Ruby know that you call yourself V? Does she know that she's dating such an unquestionably cool guy?

I may have mentioned it once or twice. The V thing. She absolutely does not think she's dating a cool guy. Feel free to ask her. You owe me a soda if she uses the word "scraggly".

Ha. Yeah, that sounds right.
So not like I'm asking for a reason or anything, but you two are happy together?
Finding some kind of relationship in the middle of all this weird garbage that keeps happening to everyone?

I mean, yeah? She makes me really happy. Happier than I've been in years if I'm gonna be honest. I hope I do the same for her. I never really expected to find anyone for me full stop. Much less in this place. Life can surprise you sometimes.

No reason, huh?

No reason as far as you're ever gonna know about.
So you think it's worth it? In the end. Even if it gives you someone else you need to worry about.

I'm not going to pry. People are entilted to their secrets.
I'd like to think so. I mean, yeah, I worry about her a lot- because she's Ruby and she's always going to dive headlong into danger regardless of her survival chances. But the alternative is not being with her - and missing out on that particular emotional rollercoaster would be considerably worse- and that includes the worry, by the way, all part and parcel. I guess you just have to decide if you want to take the chance on allowing someone to make you feel like that or not.

You'd rather tie yourself to someone who lives in a constant whirlwind of emotion than the alternative.
You'd rather take risks all day every day, big ones, risks that might end up with you looking at a body in the ground... instead of never sharing it with anybody at all.

I think I get it.

It doesn't sound that bad.

You've got it in one! Yup. That's pretty much how it goes, I think. Because even if those big mistakes will end up probably breaking your heart one day down the line, it's better than never letting anyone get near your heart at all.

Or something.

So this is still a big hypothetical question, huh? Because it's sounding very much not hypothetical, is all.

...Listen, V.
It's hypothetical and it'll stay hypothetical until I work up the courage to actually do something about it.
I could make it un-hypothetical, but I really don't think you'd like it right now.

Hey, that's fine. I'm not gonna pry. You're entitled to your secrecy. I don't get why I wouldn't like it, though.

It's not Ruby, is it?

Edited 2020-08-04 22:33 (UTC)

It is NOT Ruby.
It's definitely not Ruby.
Oh my gods.
No, no, I'm. Not.
No. Gods.
Breaking you two up would be, like, exactly the opposite of everything we were just talking about.

It's still someone from Remnant, though. If you have to guess at it.

Hey, I don't know. That's the only one I might be a little upset about. Probably not break up upset, but still.

I'll pass on the guessing game. I don't think I know them well enough to even try. Believe it or not, you're the person from Remnant I speak to the most after Ruby. Take from that what you will.

Wow.
Well, uh. It's an honor, I'm pretty sure. You're definitely one of the only people NOT from Remnant that I talk to at all around here.
At least, of the people who actually know who I am.
Which I guess means I trust you? Weird and gross.
Anyway, maybe when this whole mystery drops and I stop being a coward, you'll get to have more conversations with at least one other Remnant person.

Wow, you really could have picked way better than me out of everyone here in town. I'm pretty much bottom-of-the-barrel company. Love yourself a little more, M.
That is so weird and gross. I feel sad for you.
I guess I'll have to wait and see then. Good luck, regardless.

... I'm sorry I couldn't help you better, Varian. If you need anything, please tell me.

[When Varian responds, his voice is crackly and sore. Deathflu is much less fun than he imagined. ]

It's not your fault. There was nothing that could help me when all was said and done. Don't beat yourself up over it. That's my job.

...But thanks. Will do.

You beat yourself up plenty as it is, Vivi-kun, I think you can take it easy this month.

I strongly disagree and this month has been exhibit A for that. Can do, Fern's keeping an eye on me.

This month is Exhibit A of this place screwing with your head. You've been trying for MONTHS to be a good person and then this place MADE you go back to a dark part of your life. That is NOT the same thing.

Except it's made me do nothing I wouldn't have done back then anyway. It's still in me, it didn't pull this out of thin air. Regardless of if I've been trying to be a better person, I'm still just... back to square one.

Back then, yes. Not now. Varian, you aren't back to square one. You aren't the same person now as you were then. If you were, you wouldn't even care about what this place made you do.

...I guess.

[His gaze drops, brow furrowed.]

I don't know. It's just...hard to see that right now.

Then do what you do best, make an experiment of it.

Experiments are a lot easier. There are parameters and hypothesis. You can't really do that with human emotion so well. It's too unpredictable.

Alright, no experiments. But as someone who is on the outside looking in, you're doing so much better than you think you are, Varian.

You have a good heart, you have people who love you. And this town can try all it wants to hide that, but your loved ones see it. Ruby will always see it, Fern will always see it, I will always see it, Rapunzel I don't think can see anything but your true heart.

I'm pretty sure Rapunzel can see the good in everyone. That's- that's literally what she does, all the time. She loves everyone in the known universe.

[Except for Uncle Monty for some really fucking weird reason that Varian doesn't understand and is afraid to ask about at this point.

But she's right. There are people in this town who love him regardless of his... everything. He doesn't feel like he deserves it, but they love him anyway.]

...Maybe. I don't think it's as good or true as you think, but I am trying to make it better.

Stealing my job from me to give to Rapunzel, hm?

[She smiles.]

Oh? You don't? What's your user name, Varian?

I'm pretty sure she'd give you a fair fight for the title is all I'm saying.

And it's Trie-

[He sees what you're doing, Usagi. HE SEES YOU.]

...It's a science pun.

Sure you're not just biased against the moon?

Hmmmm suuuure it is.

What's the pun, Varian?

No.

[Yes.

Just you, know, the most petulantly:]

Trienemybest.

[Liar.]

AAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLL I keep hearing is "trying my best" don't hear ANY science in there~

[EXCUSE?!!]

Triene is any compound contacting three double bonds. There's your science.

Hmm, interesting, and yet, it sounds SO MUCH like tryin' my best. You could have gone with soooo many other chemicals, but you went with a pun that is all about you trying to do better. You have allllllll these chemical compounds and you go with that pun?

Just admit it, Varian.

That's... that's literally the pun, Usagi. And I didn't put that much thought into it, it was the first one that came into my head.

[He's digging his heels in because god forbid he admit defeat.]

Nothing to admit.

So the first thing that popped in your head was telling people you're trying your best? [Cause she promises you, Varian, not that many people will catch the pun.]

You can pretend all you want, Varian, but I see you.

I was an easy pun, you're looking too much into it.

And that. [He says like he's putting a final nail down on this even if Usagi is absolutely right.] Is that.

Well, just keep trying your best, Varian. I'll support you no matter what.

[He sighs, looking up at the ceiling. She really is doing her best, even if it stings- even if he feels like he doesn't deserve it right now. He offers her a small smile.]

...Thanks, Usagi. I really do appreciate that. I just need... a little time is all.

[She smiles, back, maybe a bit sadly but forces it away for Varian.]

Of course, I'm always here if you need me.

I know. And I'll let you know if I need you. I'm... gonna try to get a little more sleep now. Please take it easy, it sounds like it's still bad out there.

Of course. Rest well, yeah? I'll come by with tea and food tomorrow. No, you can't stop me.

Okay, okay. I make no promises on Fern though. Better get your charm on.

I'm always charming, Vivi-kun.

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