Deerington inbox

[droptheious]

FROM: SUBJECT: FERN Ooo slang part the second FERN i think we just shared electrons, because i'm feeling a covalent bond between us LANCE Pidge, I need your help. I gotta send a meme to Chloe but ... DIPPER Hey Varian. You know those crazy alchemy bombs you used... PETER Hey Varian, this is Peter. Um, Peter Graham. USAGI Soooooooo~ How'd the date go? MAKO Varian— Checking in. SHIRO i think one of us put a chicken patty in my toaster EDDIE Hey. We need to talk. MELIUS 𝐻𝒾. 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒾𝓉 𝓁𝑜𝑜𝓀𝓈 𝓌𝑒𝒾𝓇𝒹 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓇𝓉 EDA Hey, kid. I... owe you an apology. LUZ Valentines MAUL I have a proposition for a project I think you'll be interested in USAGI I LOVE YOU FERN DUDE you still have your bandana! BUZZ Morning. I heard from Fern you wanted to go out into the blizzard. FERN dude your profile changed USAGI Ruby told me about the breakup. GLITCH Varian, I'm gonna go live somewhere else for now MAKO A "nerd" is somebody smart... MAUL Gifts FERN heeyyyy quick question FERN Christmas is coming up!!! CHLOE god who the FUCK ever thought emojis were a good idea??? KRISTOFF Varian,It's getting colder so I thought you could use this FERN heyyyy Variable RAPUNZEL okay not to put you on the spot but... EDA Potion time NEO Dude, I can mine antidote shit here! GLITCH Got this in my basket. EDA hey smart kid TEN Hallo ADAM Hey, k-- uh, Varian. I just wanted to check in USAGI I'm sorry I worried you and fainted on you yesterday. AMARA i lived, bitch NEO Debatably good news, asshole USAGI Hey Varian! It's Usagi OSCAR I'm sorry, Varian. Tell me what you need FERN a dark past huh MAUL Varian. I am in great need of your assistance FERN Varian VARIAN I CAN EAT FOOD USAGI How much moon essence do you have? USAGI VIVI-KUN, VIVI-KUN GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT! RICHIE well I promised FERN A TOTALLY INCOMPLETE LIST OF OOO WORDS 'N SLANG GLITCH VARIAN ARE THERE BUGS IN THE WATER?! USAGI To help with restless nights and the... VIRA-LORR Little alchemist. I have a gift for you. MARTIN Hi, Varian. This is Martin. I wanted to reach out... USAGI Hi Varian, sweetie! I have a question for you. GLITCH varian I need to talk to you. it's important. USAGI I need you not to panic after what I tell you. FERN dog you have so many vests IRONHIDE HONK HONK USAGI ... I'm sorry I couldn't help you better, Varian EMERALD Hey, V. Not that I care that much or anything... FERN tell me when you're alive FERN Varian i stabbed two people AMARA hey weirdo i have something for you FERN is the Rapunzel in town your Rapunzel? PENNY Salutations!! You do not know me, but my name is Penny Polendina YANG Hey, is this Varian? I think we've met once before. FERN hey can we talk FERN you told ruby MAUL Surviving another year is always an occasion worth celebrating USAGI Hey I wanted to apologise USAGI VARIAN-KUUUUNNN!!!! FERN birth MAUL Look what just arrived for me. KATHERINE Do you want to get paid to make more purple goo things? FERN ok i know you're good with plants but what about animals FERN dog interested in means girls or guys

TO: SUBJECT: USAGI So. Maul dropped by, he's got his memories back. ADAM I'm worried about Shiro FERN Hey handsome OSCAR You've been weirdly quiet lately FERN Guess what I haven't told you lately? USAGI Hey. I'm back from the dead and I feel like trash. FERN I made meatloaf that may or may not poison us! Emerald Hey. I know you probably don't want to talk to anyone right now... BELLA Hey Bella. You've dated someone who's a different species to you right? BILL Hi, Fern mentioned you were interested in interdimensional portals... FERN Aw, your pictures are nice! KURT Hey. Are you around? RICHIE Is it just me or is Eddie acting weirder than usual? QROW Hey. Checking up on you. EDA Hi Eda. Hope Ruddiger found you okay. GLITCH Hey. What happened between you and Maul? LUNA Luna- I uh... I think I need your help EDDIE So hey, I finally worked out how to replicate the Antidote OSCAR So, I noticed Ozpin has shown up. ROGUE Hey, I managed to replicate the Antidote KURT Hey. We're back. None of us are dead. QROW Uh... hey. How are you guys holding up? PETER You gave Ruby the haunted dolls GLITCH Hey, Bud. Sorry I tried to murder you with a robot KURT I'm probably the last person you want to talk to... JON I'm sorry I attacked you JON Stay away from Fern. FERN Hey you still haven't got me those baking ingredients FERN Okay so the Betties are upping their war... USAGI Hey. So. Update. NEO You tried to bury her alive? SERIOUSLY? USAGI Emotions are really difficult FERN OH MY GOD YOU HAVE ONE TOO FERN Okay this better be to Fern this time. WYNONNA So guess who got into the fridge and ate literally everything in there.

code by cawaii

Comments

[droptheious]

[He laughs because... yeah. Yeah.]

Rapunzel is absolutely a weirdo, but I promise the secret's safe with me.

[Varian watches him for a short moment, before nodding, going back to work- placing cogs within the innards of the machine. He tinkers in silence for a short while- mulling over if he should talk at all. He used to be so sure how to deal with Fern and now he's just... not.]

Do you want to talk about it?

[laminae]

[That's good to hear. Even if she doesn't actually know she's a princess he doesn't want to go around being the kind of person who insults them.

He's otherwise silent for those several minutes, irritated with himself for being so discomforted by this. It shouldn't be a big deal, Finn dealt with actual giant spiders that wanted to eat him and he was fine. Why can't he be fine with a stupid robot that isn't even finished?

When Varian speaks up he hesitates, needing that extra time to push past his frustration and incoherence and come up with the right words for an answer. Eventually he settles on:]

Are you afraid of them?

[droptheious]

[Varian pauses in his work, looking at Fern, then at the spider.]

...Not exactly what I meant, but no. I'm not afraid of them. Living things don't bother me, they're just... animals.

[Varian's fears are pretty consistently internal and surround his own shitty, broken psyche. Spiders? Spiders he can handle.]

[laminae]

[Varian is lucky spiders aren't part of his internal, broken psyche!

Fern looks at the robot again, quietly, then hugs his knees a bit tighter.]

I'm just being selfish. This place sucks and part of me is happy he woke up and got away from here.

[The other part of him is devastated he's been abandoned again.]

[droptheious]

[Varian stares at his steampunk abomination for a moment, at war with himself. Eventually, he sighs, putting his tools down and walking over to Fern, moving to sit beside him on the table. ]

You're not being selfish.

[Because this, this he gets. He's felt selfish too, at times- aside from Rapunzel and the collected Corona animals, everyone he has here is from another world. What happens when they just... go? Never to remember the people they knew here. It's like they never even existed. ]

He was really important to you. It makes sense you feel awful about him going. B-because once people leave here, you might never see them again. It's not like most of us are even from the same worlds. It's almost like someone dying. Except not here dying. When they leave here, they're gone for good, mostly. I know the thought of losing the people I care about here is one of the many things that keep me awake at night. Like- how.. how are you supposed to make peace that the people you care most about will one day just... go?

[He guesses it's like regular life- he remembers losing his dad vividly. He got him back, but for over a year, the man might as well have been dead. He glances at Fern again, then carefully puts an arm around him, pulling him a little closer. He'd failed to give the hug at the right time before, he doesn't aim to this time.]

You're amongst those people, by the way. The- the ones I can't bear to lose. But I get it. It's... hard. Losing people.

[laminae]

[Abandonment issues are the worst. The rational part of his brain knows Will would never want to leave him willingly, they were family and he was never the kind of person to ditch family he cared about. He was there for him through all the worst parts of Deerington. He cared about him.

The irrational part of his brain is pushing that abandonment complex into overdrive. Will is gone, and he's never coming back. He's alone again. Once the shock has worn off and he's no longer numb he knows he's going to be a mess of anxiety and panic.

Fern fully expects Varian to keep working on the robot while they talk, so when he stops and walks over and hops onto the table with him he looks shocked. None of this is what he wants to hear, of course, but it's better than being fed a blatant lie. It's... sadly, it's bonding over mutual abandonment issues, and it helps to be able to talk to someone else who understands.

When Varian's arm settles around his shoulder Fern instinctively stiffens. The shock from before is nothing compared to what he's feeling now - the awkward shoulder part from earlier had pretty much cemented in his mind that that was the most physical contact that was going to happen between them.

He doesn't pull away. He slumps against Varian, incredibly grateful for the contact.]

It's really hard. This place is bad enough to us, I don't get why it has to get one more dig in with this. Why can't we keep on knowing each other when we wake up? Why do we all have to be from different universes -

[... Oh.

Hold on.

Fern suddenly sits up, as if he was electrocuted.]

Wait.

[droptheious]

[Abandonment issues are the freaking worst. The only thing that tops them for Varian is all his validation issues- but if he were honest, they tended to come hand in hand. One almost inevitably followed the other. He wasn't good enough for people, so they left. Or they put up walls. Or they turned their back on him when he needed them most. Sometimes, that all felt like an inevitability.

Varian is less easy with the lies these days. Not when it matters. He's pretty sure he could still run a manipulative ring around someone if he really wanted to- but he's trying to be better. And despite everything, despite how messy and complicated everything was right now, he didn't want to see Fern hurting. It's been far too much in too small a space of time. So he relaxes a touch when Fern doesn't shove back. ]

I don't know. If I knew how this place worked I would have tried to pick apart something by now. I know Peter said he wants to find a way for people to leave, or stay or... or go wherever they-

[As Fern sits up, he nearly falls away from the empty space he was occupying.]

...What?

[laminae]

[The physical comfort is nice. It makes things a tiny bit easier to deal with. Finn has always been an affectionate kid thanks to Margaret's nurturing, and Fern is no different. If he wasn't suddenly realizing there's a solution to his problem right under his nose, he'd be content to stay like that for a while.

Varian's remarks, which a normal person would think as nice but hopelessly futile, cause several things in Fern's mind click neatly into place.]

Oh geez. Oh geez oh geez -

[He's frantically pulling his backpack off, opening it and yanking out a massive, worn book. The Enchiridion. He stares at it in silence for several seconds, then turns the little decorative sword on the cover. This causes two flaps to pop open, like small doors, to reveal nine empty slots.

Oh Globbit, how did he never think of this before? He turns to Varian, holding the book up.]

The Enchiridion! The Enchiridion's a portal to every universe!

[He, of course, knew that when it first showed up in his blessings basket, but he always refrained from considering using it in that way. But with Will gone - this changes things.]

[droptheious]

[Varian is decidedly less affectionate. Quirin was never the most tactile of fathers and after his own fall to darkness, Varian was even less inclined to offer physical comfort than he was before. It's not his forte at all.

He watches Fern in confusion, righting himself, listening to what he has to say. He recognises the book- it was among Fern's possessions when he died- it remained in Varian's home for a week, waiting for its owner to return for it. He assumed it was just a book- he never looked any closer than that, it felt wrong. Like an invasion of privacy after he'd already wronged his friend so much already. ]

...It's- the book's a portal? [Well. That's new. He stares at it a little closer.] ...Do you know how it works? It could get us out of here.

[laminae]

[Fern just unceremoniously shoves the thing into Varian's hands so he can take a look. It's very much a book, just old and faded and dog-eared and it's kind of amazing it hasn't started falling apart at this point.]

No! I mean - maybe? I'm not sure anymore. I always figured it would be a bad idea to use a portal in a shared dream, like that's always gone sideways and I figured it might gronk up the dreamscape and all of us somehow.

[So it felt wiser to just not use the Enchiridion as anything aside from a regular book.]

But maybe I'm wrong. Or maybe I just need to not be dead back home, so when I wake up I can smash-and-grab Finn's. He's still got the copy he took from Ice Finn's universe at the Tree Fort!

[droptheious]

[Oh! Okay cool, he's just holding the dimensional portal book now. Varian stares at it, turning it this way and that, squinting at it and trying to take it all in.]

I mean, we'd have to be very careful with it. It's all well and good opening a portal on this side, but we need to be sure where they other side comes out at. You get that part wrong, and then you've got troubles.

[One day, he'll have a trip home, build a Stargate and know first hand that you've got to get the exit plan in place too, or you'll end up in nightmare horror limbo, being chased by floating eyeballs. No one wants that.]

...How many Finns are there, exactly? I feel like the answer is "a lot", but still. [He taps the book.] Do you know what goes in these slots?

[laminae]

[Fern nods along, as if Varian is the interdimensional portal expert here even though it's his book. The Enchiridion offers a tiny sliver of hope that he might be able to see Will again, and he's going to cling to it with all his might.]

Right, right. Okay, so a bunch of princesses have gems that fit into the holes. [He jabs a finger at the indentations.] Put those in, and one of the gems from Ice King's crown, and boom! Portal. Or portals.

[He reaches up, anxiously fussing with the edge of his hat a bit.]

There was this whole big deal with Prismo and the Lich and the short story is, I guess when I was Finn I kinda used up my wish with Prismo and made a new universe. Ice Finn's. And some other stuff happened and Finn had to go in and stop the Lich from tricking Ice Finn into opening a portal to every universe with the Enchiridion.

[Which. Reminds him.]

- Uh, there is a Lich hand running around your universe, by the way.

[droptheious]

[Varian is so very not the expert. He still needs to get the spoopy Demanituts Booke to get those particular gears a-turning. He nods, taking this in- he can work with this... probably.]

Does it have to be gemstones specific to Ooo? Are they magical or protected? Do you think you could request them in the blessings basket?

[He's already putting plans down. Yes. Yes. He can absolutely work with this.]

...And that is exactly as weird and convoluted as I expected it to be. [Never change, Ooo, you fucking circus world. That last part gives him pause.]

W- what? Like... like literally in my universe?

[laminae]

I have no idea. I could... try? Maybe if I ask for Billy's gem I can get Booko working and he can explain it all.

[He doesn't sound certain about this, though. And he can only lift his hands in an unhelpful, sympathetic gesture. Ooo is weird, Ooo is always weird.

He'd much rather talk about Ooo's weirdness than the incident with the Lich. The only thing stopping him from changing the subject is the fact that Varian really, really deserves to know this to protect his home.]

Um. Yes. I kind of screwed up when I was the Grass Sword - arm. Grass arm. Sliced his hand off over the portal and, long story short, now there's a Lich hand in every universe.

[droptheious]

Billy? Is he here? Is he from Ooo too?

[Ooo is so weird, he only ever understands the vaguest of things about the place. He thinks if he went there, he would actually have a coronary. ]

Well. That's- that's sure a thing. I haven't come across any of that but the way Corona is currently I genuinely wouldn't be surprised if it showed up there.

[It's like all the shitty, weirdo magic is just racing to the place.]

[laminae]

N... no. [Fern looks visibly uncomfortable at this, and looks away.] He's dead. I have to try the basket.

[That's going to be an awful thing to have to ask for.]

Right. Well, now you know. He's bad news, and if he can get a hold of any magic then you're all doomed. [He glances down at his hands, twisting his fingers together.] One more reason to get some portals opened up.

[droptheious]

Oh. Sorry. That's... not fun.

[Varian nods- because his world is full of really, really dangerous magic and things are bad enough already.]

I think we've got enough doom running around at the moment, don't want any extra. So yeah. Getting rid of that would be ideal.

[laminae]

Yeah, uh. Maybe one thing at a time? Figure out portals, then start slaying Lich hands.

[He'd just like to push the Lich right out of his mind for now. There's enough to worry about without adding him into the mix.]

So what do you think? I'm not crazy, right?

[droptheious]

We gotta walk before we can run, yeah. Let's... shelve the Lich hand thing for a little while. Put a pin in it.

[He flashes a smile in Fern's direction.]

Not even a little crazy! We can totally work with this. It's a better lead than anything I've seen so far. This is really helpful.

[laminae]

[When he's in a better frame of mind he'll try to explain the Lich's whole deal. Which... involves opening his mental vault a little, but the threat of the Lich is bigger than his own fears.

For now Varian's encouragement has him perking up a bit. Losing Will has been devastating, no doubts there, and if this offers him an opportunity to bypass his whole abandonment complex then he's going to take it.]

Okay, good. What's the next step? Do you need to do science on this thing? [He taps the book.] Should we keep it under wraps?

[droptheious]

[Varian's already poking and podding the book, trying to pull secrets from it, even if he knows what he actually needs. This is amazing. ]

Other dimensional travel! I- I mean I've seen hints of it in Lord Demnaitus' work, but I haven't been able to piece together yet exactly what he was trying to achieve. Something that can cross entire worlds. This is amazing.

[Oh. Right. Fern. He looks up out of Science Mode, blinking owlishly, then clears his throat. Right.]

Sorry. Uh, yeah! We can absolutely science this thing. We might wanna keep it quiet for a little while. Don't want to get people's hopes up if we can't make it work.

[laminae]

[Turns out there's another good reason to have brought up the Enchiridion and its interdimensional portal capabilities: Varian's enthusiasm. It's uplifting to see him so excited about this, and it makes Fern feel a little more confident that they'll figure this out. Like this isn't just some hopeless dream.]

Cool, right. Don't wanna get anyone's hopes up.

[Or get into trouble like they did with their lightsaber attempt.]

I've done interdimensional travel before, but only once to a whole other universe. And never on my own. Who's this Lord Demanitus guy? An alchemist like you?

[droptheious]

[Varian's so goddamn happy, Fern. You've made his month. ]

Exactly. Once we have a better idea if we can work this, then yeah, we can absolutely tell people.

[No one wants a repeat of the lightsaber incident. ]

You did? Do you remember it? I'd love to record the experience, maybe we can work from it. [Oh Fern, Fern this is an ERROR. Varian's grin widens.] Oh wow, he was so much more than me. I dream to be like he was. He was the best scientist our world has ever known. He could combine magic and science together to protect our kingdom. I've been studying his work for as long as I can remember.

[laminae]

That's - sure, that's no problem.

[It means having to talk about events he really doesn't want to talk about in general, and opening up to Varian causes a few doubts to bubble up in his mind, but if it means getting Will back then it's worth it. It'll be fine.]

Sounds like a smart guy. Back home PB always said magic was just irresponsible science. Dunno if I ever believed her.

[droptheious]

[Sometimes, you just gotta take those bullets for science, Fern.]

He was a genius. If I could even be half the inventor he was, I'd be happy. [He says, despite the fact he's already reverse-engineered a good chunk of his work already. ]

She's not wrong. I'd give it that moniker, too. Magic is just science I haven't worked out, yet.