Deerington inbox

[droptheious]

FROM: SUBJECT: FERN Ooo slang part the second FERN i think we just shared electrons, because i'm feeling a covalent bond between us LANCE Pidge, I need your help. I gotta send a meme to Chloe but ... DIPPER Hey Varian. You know those crazy alchemy bombs you used... PETER Hey Varian, this is Peter. Um, Peter Graham. USAGI Soooooooo~ How'd the date go? MAKO Varian— Checking in. SHIRO i think one of us put a chicken patty in my toaster EDDIE Hey. We need to talk. MELIUS 𝐻𝒾. 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒾𝓉 𝓁𝑜𝑜𝓀𝓈 𝓌𝑒𝒾𝓇𝒹 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓇𝓉 EDA Hey, kid. I... owe you an apology. LUZ Valentines MAUL I have a proposition for a project I think you'll be interested in USAGI I LOVE YOU FERN DUDE you still have your bandana! BUZZ Morning. I heard from Fern you wanted to go out into the blizzard. FERN dude your profile changed USAGI Ruby told me about the breakup. GLITCH Varian, I'm gonna go live somewhere else for now MAKO A "nerd" is somebody smart... MAUL Gifts FERN heeyyyy quick question FERN Christmas is coming up!!! CHLOE god who the FUCK ever thought emojis were a good idea??? KRISTOFF Varian,It's getting colder so I thought you could use this FERN heyyyy Variable RAPUNZEL okay not to put you on the spot but... EDA Potion time NEO Dude, I can mine antidote shit here! GLITCH Got this in my basket. EDA hey smart kid TEN Hallo ADAM Hey, k-- uh, Varian. I just wanted to check in USAGI I'm sorry I worried you and fainted on you yesterday. AMARA i lived, bitch NEO Debatably good news, asshole USAGI Hey Varian! It's Usagi OSCAR I'm sorry, Varian. Tell me what you need FERN a dark past huh MAUL Varian. I am in great need of your assistance FERN Varian VARIAN I CAN EAT FOOD USAGI How much moon essence do you have? USAGI VIVI-KUN, VIVI-KUN GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT! RICHIE well I promised FERN A TOTALLY INCOMPLETE LIST OF OOO WORDS 'N SLANG GLITCH VARIAN ARE THERE BUGS IN THE WATER?! USAGI To help with restless nights and the... VIRA-LORR Little alchemist. I have a gift for you. MARTIN Hi, Varian. This is Martin. I wanted to reach out... USAGI Hi Varian, sweetie! I have a question for you. GLITCH varian I need to talk to you. it's important. USAGI I need you not to panic after what I tell you. FERN dog you have so many vests IRONHIDE HONK HONK USAGI ... I'm sorry I couldn't help you better, Varian EMERALD Hey, V. Not that I care that much or anything... FERN tell me when you're alive FERN Varian i stabbed two people AMARA hey weirdo i have something for you FERN is the Rapunzel in town your Rapunzel? PENNY Salutations!! You do not know me, but my name is Penny Polendina YANG Hey, is this Varian? I think we've met once before. FERN hey can we talk FERN you told ruby MAUL Surviving another year is always an occasion worth celebrating USAGI Hey I wanted to apologise USAGI VARIAN-KUUUUNNN!!!! FERN birth MAUL Look what just arrived for me. KATHERINE Do you want to get paid to make more purple goo things? FERN ok i know you're good with plants but what about animals FERN dog interested in means girls or guys

TO: SUBJECT: USAGI So. Maul dropped by, he's got his memories back. ADAM I'm worried about Shiro FERN Hey handsome OSCAR You've been weirdly quiet lately FERN Guess what I haven't told you lately? USAGI Hey. I'm back from the dead and I feel like trash. FERN I made meatloaf that may or may not poison us! Emerald Hey. I know you probably don't want to talk to anyone right now... BELLA Hey Bella. You've dated someone who's a different species to you right? BILL Hi, Fern mentioned you were interested in interdimensional portals... FERN Aw, your pictures are nice! KURT Hey. Are you around? RICHIE Is it just me or is Eddie acting weirder than usual? QROW Hey. Checking up on you. EDA Hi Eda. Hope Ruddiger found you okay. GLITCH Hey. What happened between you and Maul? LUNA Luna- I uh... I think I need your help EDDIE So hey, I finally worked out how to replicate the Antidote OSCAR So, I noticed Ozpin has shown up. ROGUE Hey, I managed to replicate the Antidote KURT Hey. We're back. None of us are dead. QROW Uh... hey. How are you guys holding up? PETER You gave Ruby the haunted dolls GLITCH Hey, Bud. Sorry I tried to murder you with a robot KURT I'm probably the last person you want to talk to... JON I'm sorry I attacked you JON Stay away from Fern. FERN Hey you still haven't got me those baking ingredients FERN Okay so the Betties are upping their war... USAGI Hey. So. Update. NEO You tried to bury her alive? SERIOUSLY? USAGI Emotions are really difficult FERN OH MY GOD YOU HAVE ONE TOO FERN Okay this better be to Fern this time. WYNONNA So guess who got into the fridge and ate literally everything in there.

code by cawaii

Comments

[droptheious]

Wait, you don't know?

[Okay, so maybe it wasn't a hint. Maybe this isn't some Next Level Teen Romance he has no idea how to navigate. Give him a sec, he's opening it again.]

OH. You get different ones each time. This one says. "Varian and Ruby carving faces in pumpkins". Probably better ways to spend your birthday, but sure.

[He's not telling her about the first one. Nope. ]

[clickclickbloom]

Nope. Not a clue. You have tell me.

[Oh. Look at that. He's figured it out.]

Oh that's cute! Maybe not on my birthday but we could add it to the to-do list to do that month. Have some set up for any trick-or-treaters!

[droptheious]

Sure, you bet. Sounds like a good time. I bet I could get them to illuminate with a whole spectrum of colours.

So, what does your say? When you click the little button? Or is this an all on me thing? :)

[Be proud of him he's learning how to use emojis properly. ]

[clickclickbloom]

Ooooooh! That would be so pretty~! We could do a pumpkin rainbow!

Oh no! I can do it too. I just thought you should get the full experience first.

Okay. Here I gooooo!

[So she goes and puts their names in and...

Oh no.

Oh gosh.

There's a pause before she copy and pastes it in and then she's just going to stuff her head in a pillow again.]

Ruby is trying to impress Varian and ends up falling flat on their face. As Ruby lays on the ground and slowly die from embarrassment, Varian has a mind blowing realization that they actually really like Ruby and when they help Ruby up off the ground, they pull them into a kiss.

[droptheious]

Your porch will be the brightest in the whole street, that's for sure.

[And oh. Well. There's a thing. At least she was brave enough to actually put it on the Fluid, unlike him who... definitely hid that. He kind of stares at it for a moment, feeling his face flush. Welp.]

Oh. Well. That's.

That's sure a thing.

My first one was kinda like that. Not exactly but. Same theme.

[clickclickbloom]

They neighbors had better appreciate the effort we put into sprucing this street up.

[And their property values plummeting.

She fumbles around with her response to that. There's a lot of "..."'s popping up and leaving his screen. Instead she focuses on the important part of all this.]

Wait. You had one that you didn't show me? No fair!

[Nailed it.]

[droptheious]

I think they'd appreciate it as much as the farm.

[Which is to say, probably not at all. But whatever, their loss. He kind of stares at those little "..."'s for a while and oh no don't ask him this, Ruby. This is only going to make things more awkward.]

It's really awkward. Just warning you now. Let it be noted that I tried to protect you from this.

Varian and Ruby haven't kissed yet. Each time Varian sees Ruby they think to themselves 'I've gotta do it this time' but they keep being too shy to do anything. One day a friend asks Varian if Ruby has ever tried to kiss them and Varian just screams.

[clickclickbloom]

We're really hoping the farm will catch on.

[Gosh. Wow. That is a whole of trying to tell them that they should kiss or something. She's glad to toss her face back in her pillow because that's her new safe space. It's like a cushy turtle shell of protection against awkward.

Eventually she'll respond.]

I


That is to say

I

Haven't tried???

Yet?????

Wait no.

Not yet.

At all.

Unless you wanted to?????????????

Uh. WAIT LET'S TRY A NEW ONE!

Ruby serenades Varian with a New Year's kazoo/squawker/party horn.

[droptheious]

[The universe is mocking them and their awkwardness. That's clearly what's happening here. It's rude and he doesn't like it.]

I mean. Obviously I want to. It's just finding the right time? Is there a right time?

Forget I asked that I like the kazoo one better. I can picture that.

[clickclickbloom]

OhrightyeahthatswhatImeantsureyesIwanttotoowaitiwassupposedtoforgetyouaskedthatrightiforgotuhhhhsomeothertimesureyeah

Kazoos are awesome. I would be awesome at playing one. I'll start practicing.

[droptheious]

[Ah, Ruby has once again lost a fight with a space bar, he sees. Give him a second to decipher this.]

Uh. Right. Yes. I... too want to do that. At some point. Yes. Very much so.

["I too want to do that?" Oh noooo that's too ye olde times even for him. He's just gonna go... rest his head gently on his workbench for a moment and pray for death.]

I wonder how much practise it takes to play the kazoo? I mean, I can play the piano and the tambourine and I'll give you a wild guess which one is easier.

[clickclickbloom]

Sure. Great. Yeah. Someday.

[Just handling this like a champ.]

Pretty sure it's the piano, obviously.

That was a joke.

I can probably play the kazoo, but I have to actually learn the song or whatever that I'm going to play for my big debut.

[droptheious]

Great. Glad we could get that ironed out.

[Kids, it's a kiss, not a business transaction, come on.]

Darn it and I was hoping you'd guess tambourine.

What song are you going to play, out of curiosity?

[clickclickbloom]

Phew! Yeah. That's a thing that'll happen sometime.

I can't always be the the clueless one. Just most of the time :>

I'm not sure. I kind of liked that one you sent me before. Maybe that.

[droptheious]

Absolutely. Look forward to it.

[Oh god, why did he type that? Nnnnooooo.]

Hey now, you're not clueless at all.

That's a pretty good song. I'm sure it would be magical via kazoo. I could definitely be wooed by it is what I'm saying.

[clickclickbloom]

Right. Great time that'll be! See you then!

[FREAKIN' NAILED IT.]

I am at least a little clueless.

Good to know! We'll have to make sure there's a couch near by that you faint into if that's the case. I'll have to find a couple others just to keep it original.

[50% chance one of them is Skater Boy.]

[droptheious]

[Good job kids!]

I feel like agreeing with you might be dangerous for me so I'm keeping my "no you're not" stance.

I will absolutely need a fainting couch prepped for all the swooning.

[Please serenade him with Skater Boy on the kazoo, Ruby. That's highest tier romance, right there. ]

At least my knowledge of modern music is still depressingly slim. The chances of you finding something I haven't heard yet are astronomically high.

[clickclickbloom]

Sounds good. It would be super awkward to explain all the blood.

This reminds me, we should go to like the furniture store sometime and check out if they have anything comfy in there. You game?

[It's coming.]

Don't worry about it. We don't have a lot of this music where I'm from either. The styles are pretty close though which is surprising.

[droptheious]

And Ruddiger would probably swear vengance on your or something.

Okay, I guess I could use something in the house that's less... sparse. Even if only like... three people ever come here.

That's pretty cool. Have you found any other carry-overs between Earth and Remnant? I have to admit, I wouldn't have expected a lot of overlap, but I guess humans are humans whatever world they're in, right?

[clickclickbloom]

I could never hurt Ruddiger like that.
...I also don't need another person or cute animal in this case swearing vengeance on me.
...And also like hurting you is not high on my priority list.
...But this was mostly a joke and now I'm explaining it.

Three people are still people! You've gotta have something cozy in the house.

Our buildings and such are pretty similar. At least what I've seen in books kind of carries over between one another. I'm surprised we didn't end up doing things completely different in some ways. It's just weird how alike we are in some ways but other ways it's like how does this even work?

[droptheious]

It's okay, Rube. Just joke was loud and clear. But thanks for the reassurance, it means a lot :)

I guess a couch or a comfortable chair or two wouldn't be the WORST thing. Maybe something nice for the porch?

I'm not sure. Your culture started off very differently, and obviously things like grimm and dust and selmblences have to have some effect on your day-to-day. But some of it does seem to follow the same beat. And it's common enough that people from all kinds of different worlds seem to be the same. I guess society has one really strong blueprint to work from and it sticks to that, just diverting course here and there when it needs to.

[clickclickbloom]

Just making sure.
I would hate to have Ruddiger for an enemy.
I can't fight something that cute.

OMG YES. WE NEED TO GET ONE OF THOSE SWINGY COUCH THINGS FOR YOUR PORCH. IT WOULD REALLY GO WITH THE BOOBY TRAPS.

That kind of makes sense. I mean even for humanities second time around in my world there were similarities between their take on our world and what I grew up with. We could all be drawn to the same things.

[droptheious]

He IS pretty hard to fight when he's adorable. Shame I can't use the mutation serum on him here. He's way less cute then,

I'm not sure how a porch swing would go with the booby trap aesthetic, but sure. It might be nice. Maybe a little relaxing too.

[He's going to end up falling asleep on it, but at least he will achieve sleep!]

Exactly. It's pretty fascinating. I mean, I struggle with understanding how people work at the best of times- but the ancient cultures and how they all seem to stem from core values is pretty amazing.

[clickclickbloom]

He's practically unstoppable.
It is! I kind of wanna wrestle him when he's like that sometime!

Trust me. I'm an expert on things like this. They definitely go together. It's with you being from the olden days and stuff like that.

[And then one day they'll both fall asleep on it and it will be adorable.]

Maybe it means there is some sort of connection to all our worlds. Some way some how.

The gods did say our world was like a failed experiment. Maybe they picked up and started again somewhere else.

[droptheious]

That doesn't surprise me. Not even for a tiny little second.

[She can't hear it, but he definitely lets out a soft, fond 'heh' at that. They will absolutely end up falling asleep on the thing and it'll be adorable. ]

Then I consider myself very lucky yo have you around to consult on all hip and cool modern-day things. Helping me navigate through my olden days confusion. Truly, you are a saint.

Maybe? I know we for sure have our own legend concerning light and dark magic. And how they are supposed to be joined together but split apart.