droptheious | Deerington inbox

Deerington inbox

FROM:

SUBJECT:

	FERN	Ooo slang part the second
	FERN	i think we just shared electrons, because i'm feeling a covalent bond between us
	LANCE	Pidge, I need your help. I gotta send a meme to Chloe but ...
	DIPPER	Hey Varian. You know those crazy alchemy bombs you used...
	PETER	Hey Varian, this is Peter. Um, Peter Graham.
	USAGI	Soooooooo~ How'd the date go?
	MAKO	Varian— Checking in.
	SHIRO	i think one of us put a chicken patty in my toaster
	EDDIE	Hey. We need to talk.
	MELIUS	𝐻𝒾. 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒾𝓉 𝓁𝑜𝑜𝓀𝓈 𝓌𝑒𝒾𝓇𝒹 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓇𝓉
	EDA	Hey, kid. I... owe you an apology.
	LUZ	Valentines
	MAUL	I have a proposition for a project I think you'll be interested in
	USAGI	I LOVE YOU
	FERN	DUDE you still have your bandana!
	BUZZ	Morning. I heard from Fern you wanted to go out into the blizzard.
	FERN	dude your profile changed
	USAGI	Ruby told me about the breakup.
	GLITCH	Varian, I'm gonna go live somewhere else for now
	MAKO	A "nerd" is somebody smart...
	MAUL	Gifts
	FERN	heeyyyy quick question
	FERN	Christmas is coming up!!!
	CHLOE	god who the FUCK ever thought emojis were a good idea???
	KRISTOFF	Varian,It's getting colder so I thought you could use this
	FERN	heyyyy Variable
	RAPUNZEL	okay not to put you on the spot but...
	EDA	Potion time
	NEO	Dude, I can mine antidote shit here!
	GLITCH	Got this in my basket.
	EDA	hey smart kid
	TEN	Hallo
	ADAM	Hey, k-- uh, Varian. I just wanted to check in
	USAGI	I'm sorry I worried you and fainted on you yesterday.
	AMARA	i lived, bitch
	NEO	Debatably good news, asshole
	USAGI	Hey Varian! It's Usagi
	OSCAR	I'm sorry, Varian. Tell me what you need
	FERN	a dark past huh
	MAUL	Varian. I am in great need of your assistance
	FERN	Varian VARIAN I CAN EAT FOOD
	USAGI	How much moon essence do you have?
	USAGI	VIVI-KUN, VIVI-KUN GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT!
	RICHIE	well I promised
	FERN	A TOTALLY INCOMPLETE LIST OF OOO WORDS 'N SLANG
	GLITCH	VARIAN ARE THERE BUGS IN THE WATER?!
	USAGI	To help with restless nights and the...
	VIRA-LORR	Little alchemist. I have a gift for you.
	MARTIN	Hi, Varian. This is Martin. I wanted to reach out...
	USAGI	Hi Varian, sweetie! I have a question for you.
	GLITCH	varian I need to talk to you. it's important.
	USAGI	I need you not to panic after what I tell you.
	FERN	dog you have so many vests
	IRONHIDE	HONK HONK
	USAGI	... I'm sorry I couldn't help you better, Varian
	EMERALD	Hey, V. Not that I care that much or anything...
	FERN	tell me when you're alive
	FERN	Varian i stabbed two people
	AMARA	hey weirdo i have something for you
	FERN	is the Rapunzel in town your Rapunzel?
	PENNY	Salutations!! You do not know me, but my name is Penny Polendina
	YANG	Hey, is this Varian? I think we've met once before.
	FERN	hey can we talk
	FERN	you told ruby
	MAUL	Surviving another year is always an occasion worth celebrating
	USAGI	Hey I wanted to apologise
	USAGI	VARIAN-KUUUUNNN!!!!
	FERN	birth
	MAUL	Look what just arrived for me.
	KATHERINE	Do you want to get paid to make more purple goo things?
	FERN	ok i know you're good with plants but what about animals
	FERN	dog interested in means girls or guys

TO:

SUBJECT:

	USAGI	So. Maul dropped by, he's got his memories back.
	ADAM	I'm worried about Shiro
	FERN	Hey handsome
	OSCAR	You've been weirdly quiet lately
	FERN	Guess what I haven't told you lately?
	USAGI	Hey. I'm back from the dead and I feel like trash.
	FERN	I made meatloaf that may or may not poison us!
	Emerald	Hey. I know you probably don't want to talk to anyone right now...
	BELLA	Hey Bella. You've dated someone who's a different species to you right?
	BILL	Hi, Fern mentioned you were interested in interdimensional portals...
	FERN	Aw, your pictures are nice!
	KURT	Hey. Are you around?
	RICHIE	Is it just me or is Eddie acting weirder than usual?
	QROW	Hey. Checking up on you.
	EDA	Hi Eda. Hope Ruddiger found you okay.
	GLITCH	Hey. What happened between you and Maul?
	LUNA	Luna- I uh... I think I need your help
	EDDIE	So hey, I finally worked out how to replicate the Antidote
	OSCAR	So, I noticed Ozpin has shown up.
	ROGUE	Hey, I managed to replicate the Antidote
	KURT	Hey. We're back. None of us are dead.
	QROW	Uh... hey. How are you guys holding up?
	PETER	You gave Ruby the haunted dolls
	GLITCH	Hey, Bud. Sorry I tried to murder you with a robot
	KURT	I'm probably the last person you want to talk to...
	JON	I'm sorry I attacked you
	JON	Stay away from Fern.
	FERN	Hey you still haven't got me those baking ingredients
	FERN	Okay so the Betties are upping their war...
	USAGI	Hey. So. Update.
	NEO	You tried to bury her alive? SERIOUSLY?
	USAGI	Emotions are really difficult
	FERN	OH MY GOD YOU HAVE ONE TOO
	FERN	Okay this better be to Fern this time.
	WYNONNA	So guess who got into the fridge and ate literally everything in there.

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[He doesn't respond right away. Reading that over and over. Of course that's how she's answer- of course. If Ruby ever backed down from anything it would be a goddamn miracle. He's still afraid that he'll inevitably hurt her. His experience with Fern, the reminder that he still makes terrible mistakes has only exacerbated the feelings of unworthiness he's had around her.

And yet, despite all that- he doesn't want to feel that way. He wants to be better. To be somehow worthy of her.]

Well. Guess I can't argue with that. You got me there. When it inevitably happens on your head be it.

I appreciate that, though. I've got your back too, much as I'm able. You saying that means a lot.

You mean a lot.

It's my burden to bear. I'll even let you say you told me so when it happens.
I wouldn't ask for anything more than that.
I'm always there for my friends.

[Huh. He's been typing for a while there. Jeez. Hopefully he puts a TLDR at the end. Her attention span isn't the greatest.]

[You mean a lot.

Normally a phrase like that wouldn't have really phased her. She could shrug it off as a general statement or just being really close friends. Ruby being emotionally attached to someone in a way other than friends or family just wasn't something Ruby thought about normally.

But Yang had been grilling her about this since the night Varian had been over. She had tried to brush it off as nothing but thoughts were lingering now. She cared about Varian a whole lot. Maybe she just never realized how much she cared until someone had literally slapped her in the face with it.

She stared at the screen for a moment completely dumbfounded.]

[It took a little for Ruby.exe to reboot and she started to try and fumble at her Fluid to try get a message typed out. Her fingers fumbled and bumbled on the screen until it slipped right out of her hands and bounced along the floor. She let out a yelp. Jeez. When the heck did her palms get so sweaty?

She takes a moment to breath and wipes her hands on her skirt before she goes and makes another attempt at this.]

I
THATSGREAT
YOUMEANALOTTOMETOO
ASAFRIEND
ANDIDUNNO
MAYEBEOHMYGRAPEITHINKYANGWASRIGT

[You know, he was with her for that first part. Sure, it was a definite Ruby-esque rally-the-troops kind of reply. But that's what made her... her, and if he was honest her endless bounds of optimism really did help even out his endless bounds of cynicism.

Then she took forever to type more and he instantly regretted what he put there. God that was so dumb, what was he even thinking? That's the worst possible thing to type. Maybe he can just brush it off as a friendship thing.

Sure. Sure. He'S put a spin on things before, and it wouldn't technically be lying right? Probably. ]

[And then he gets an incomprehensible reply. Ruby don't do this to him, he's from ye olden times, he doesn't understand half of what goes on with the Fluids. Is this more keymashing? Is it text-speak?

IS IT A MEE-MEE?

What is even happening? Is she having a stroke? Holy shit, did he make her have a stroke?]

What?

[He's just like... staring at the screen and oh, wait he can see words. It's like an optical illusion.

...Or she forgot to press her space bar. Probably that one.]

Oh. Never mind. Got it. There's a little symbol that's a horizontal line with two smaller vertical lines on either side. That puts spaces between the words.

[The "as a friend" kind of stings and he hates that it does. He's faced rejection before- after all his first crush was a woman nine entire years his senior. It's not exactly new. But that had been an awkward puppy crush that in his heart of hearts knew wouldn't have actually gone anywhere. Maybe it's because he's still dealing with the fact Fern doesn't want to talk to him any more, but this sucks a lot more than he expected it would.

Ugh. This is why emotions are the worst. Roll on the day he can just transfer himself into a robot body and be done with it. ]

Yeah. Okay. I get it. It's cool.

...I'm confused about the grapes and Yang?

[Oh, right. Spaces. She can do that. She's not totally freaking out at all. Her brain is definitely not running on autopilot.]

GRAPES! FREAKIN' GRAPES!
YANG WAS RIGHT!
SHE WAS RIGHT THAT I HAVE FEELINGS ABOUT VARIAN
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!?
WHY ISN'T SHE ANSWERING HER FLUID!?
WHAT DO I TELL HIM!?
DO I SAY ANYTHING!?
NO NO
DON'T PANIC
JUST SIT HERE AND YOU CAN FIGURE THIS OUT
IT'SNOTNOTGOODATALL
HE'S ASKING ABOUT THE GRAPES
ANDABOUTWHATYANGSAID
OH NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
ABORT ABORT

[Oh no! She typed all that.

And she hit send.

OH NO.]

I JUST SENT ALL THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AGJAIGAIUGHAWIUGAWITGAWJOITAWOJITFAWGAWTGJAGANJ

PLZ JUST IGNORE THE LAST MESSAGE
HAVE A GOOD DAY NOT BENNY

[Well. At least she used the space bar this time.

Who was she even talking to?

I have feelings about Varian. Those words all make sense individually, but he has to read it a few times for the sentence to make sense in his head. The perceived rejection sucked a lot, but he equally hadn't prepped for this.

Oh god, why did he just say the thing? He knew he wasn't prepared for this and he did it anyway. Because god forbid he think about something before diving in feet first like a crazy person every single time.

He could do as she asks and ignore this. Not Benny didn't see a damn thing, no sir. Then they can go on pretending and he won't have to acknowledge there are real emotions at stake here and it'll all be fine. He's GREAT at repression. He'll be fine. ]

[And then he does the absolute fucking opposite of that.

Trienemybest is calling you]

[Okay. She handled this like a pro. Now all she has to do is hide under her blanket until the heat death of the universe. This is good.

She can do this.

Then her fluid starts to ring.

And she starts freaking out all over again.

WHY CAN'T SHE JUST HAVE A MOMENT TO PROCESS ALL OF THIS!?]

[Okay. Deep breath. Ruby Rose has got this. She answers the call.]

Hi. You've reached the voice mail of Ruby Rose. I-I can't come to the phone right now but f-feel free to leave a message after the beep and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

[There's a long pause and some awkward breathing.]

B-beep.

[...]

Ruby, I can hear you breathing.

[...]

You're supposed to leave a message.

[That's a LONG-ASS sigh right there.]

Fiiiiiiine.

[Ruby why are you like this. But then, why is he like this? If either of them could function properly they wouldn't be here right now. Still, he'll play along- light and airy, like he's just leaving her a regular message. ]

Heeeeeeey Ruby,

It's Varian. Just calling in to check on what the heck that message was. Get back to me soon, okay. Byyyyyyyyyyyye.

[He's not hanging up. He's just going to start humming. Take your time.]

[Look. She'll take the sigh. She knows she's being a pain but there is a lot of feelings she's trying to process right now and she doesn't know how to do it.

Being put on the spot like this is not what she was hoping for but she is going to make the most out of his humming. Hopefully he doesn't get tired of that soon.

...Not mention it's a nice tu-NO NO.

Gosh that is exactly what got her into this.]

Oh hey. Varian,

That message? I-uh-Well...

You see, Zwei-

No-No. That didn't work last time.

I-er-you-see.

I don't really know?

I was just typing and thinking and feeling and it just kind of happened.

You can just ignore it if you want. Pretend it didn't happen.

That's cool. I'd understand completely.

Uh...

[He's patient while she digs several holes for herself. It's fine, he can wait. It's probably a good thing he chose to just call her instead of going for video. She can't see the way his eyebrows knit together. ]

...But I don't want to pretend it didn't happen.

[Good job, this is going great. Wow, why did he think he could actually have this conversation? Is he crazy?]

I-I mean. I don't know.

[He exhales, suddenly very unsure. He has no idea what he's doing. This isn't like his awkward flirting with Cass. This is different and it's terrifying.]

It's complicated. Everything is complicated and weird and I... uh, I don't really know how to deal with it? Emotions are hard. I've not- not really done this before.

[She's generally content to keep digging holes for herself until she hears the tone in his voice.

Oh.

He didn't want to pretend this wasn't some sort of huge mistake? She... hadn't really expected that.

Honestly hearing him talk sounded a lot like the feelings going through her head right about now. It grounded the more frantic thoughts and gave her something to focus on. It helped.]

Oh.

[Spoken like a true word smith.

She paused briefly and gave herself a bit of time to consider this more carefully.]

I mean. I haven't either.

If you don't want to pretend it didn't happen. I guess we don't have to.

...But... What do you want to do if we don't do that?

A-and I'm not trying to throw a lot of pressure on you to figure that out either.

It's just.

Well you said it. Emotions are hard.

Edited 2020-05-09 00:40 (UTC)

[What does he want to do? That's the real question here. It would be kinder in the long-run to ignore this. To let it die before it can become something else. Something more. Because he's a goddamn disaster, and he's scared of hurting her. She deserves someone better than him. Someone that hasn't done the things he has.

But Varian selfishly doesn't want to do that. The thought of leaving this be hurts. He doesn't want this to be nothing. ]

I- I don't know. I'm... a lot, and you could do way better.

[There's no pity in his tone- just a statement of fact. The sky is blue.]

I... well, I-I guess we can see where it goes? Take our time? I don't know. Emotions are really hard.

[She plays with the thought briefly. She doesn't think she's much better in terms of being a disaster. She was just one girl with a whole lot of responsibility on her plate and no cutlery to deal with it. ...And also she was pretty sure her meal was on fire.]

I mean, I can deal with a lot. I wouldn't even know what to consider better?

Last I checked I have people actually trying to kill me here and back at home. That's not exactly every day problems either.

[She knows he knows what she's going through. But she also knows what he's going through.]

You know what? Okay. That sounds fine to me. If it's okay with you?

Let's just... Figure things out-

Together?

Someone who isn't an actual ex-convict would probably be a good start.

...But yeah, that's... fair. I don't have that at least.

[As much danger as he's in back home right now, he doesn't think Cass will actually kill him. She already told him she didn't want to hurt him. He's just bait for Rapunzel. And mad as Fern is with him here, he doubts he's ever going to kill him. He's... relatively safe.

A small smile flickers across his face that she can't see. Okay. Okay.]

Y-yeah. That... uh, that works for me. I like that. We can figure it out together. Deal.

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