Deerington inbox

[droptheious]

FROM: SUBJECT: FERN Ooo slang part the second FERN i think we just shared electrons, because i'm feeling a covalent bond between us LANCE Pidge, I need your help. I gotta send a meme to Chloe but ... DIPPER Hey Varian. You know those crazy alchemy bombs you used... PETER Hey Varian, this is Peter. Um, Peter Graham. USAGI Soooooooo~ How'd the date go? MAKO Varian— Checking in. SHIRO i think one of us put a chicken patty in my toaster EDDIE Hey. We need to talk. MELIUS 𝐻𝒾. 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒾𝓉 𝓁𝑜𝑜𝓀𝓈 𝓌𝑒𝒾𝓇𝒹 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓇𝓉 EDA Hey, kid. I... owe you an apology. LUZ Valentines MAUL I have a proposition for a project I think you'll be interested in USAGI I LOVE YOU FERN DUDE you still have your bandana! BUZZ Morning. I heard from Fern you wanted to go out into the blizzard. FERN dude your profile changed USAGI Ruby told me about the breakup. GLITCH Varian, I'm gonna go live somewhere else for now MAKO A "nerd" is somebody smart... MAUL Gifts FERN heeyyyy quick question FERN Christmas is coming up!!! CHLOE god who the FUCK ever thought emojis were a good idea??? KRISTOFF Varian,It's getting colder so I thought you could use this FERN heyyyy Variable RAPUNZEL okay not to put you on the spot but... EDA Potion time NEO Dude, I can mine antidote shit here! GLITCH Got this in my basket. EDA hey smart kid TEN Hallo ADAM Hey, k-- uh, Varian. I just wanted to check in USAGI I'm sorry I worried you and fainted on you yesterday. AMARA i lived, bitch NEO Debatably good news, asshole USAGI Hey Varian! It's Usagi OSCAR I'm sorry, Varian. Tell me what you need FERN a dark past huh MAUL Varian. I am in great need of your assistance FERN Varian VARIAN I CAN EAT FOOD USAGI How much moon essence do you have? USAGI VIVI-KUN, VIVI-KUN GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT! RICHIE well I promised FERN A TOTALLY INCOMPLETE LIST OF OOO WORDS 'N SLANG GLITCH VARIAN ARE THERE BUGS IN THE WATER?! USAGI To help with restless nights and the... VIRA-LORR Little alchemist. I have a gift for you. MARTIN Hi, Varian. This is Martin. I wanted to reach out... USAGI Hi Varian, sweetie! I have a question for you. GLITCH varian I need to talk to you. it's important. USAGI I need you not to panic after what I tell you. FERN dog you have so many vests IRONHIDE HONK HONK USAGI ... I'm sorry I couldn't help you better, Varian EMERALD Hey, V. Not that I care that much or anything... FERN tell me when you're alive FERN Varian i stabbed two people AMARA hey weirdo i have something for you FERN is the Rapunzel in town your Rapunzel? PENNY Salutations!! You do not know me, but my name is Penny Polendina YANG Hey, is this Varian? I think we've met once before. FERN hey can we talk FERN you told ruby MAUL Surviving another year is always an occasion worth celebrating USAGI Hey I wanted to apologise USAGI VARIAN-KUUUUNNN!!!! FERN birth MAUL Look what just arrived for me. KATHERINE Do you want to get paid to make more purple goo things? FERN ok i know you're good with plants but what about animals FERN dog interested in means girls or guys

TO: SUBJECT: USAGI So. Maul dropped by, he's got his memories back. ADAM I'm worried about Shiro FERN Hey handsome OSCAR You've been weirdly quiet lately FERN Guess what I haven't told you lately? USAGI Hey. I'm back from the dead and I feel like trash. FERN I made meatloaf that may or may not poison us! Emerald Hey. I know you probably don't want to talk to anyone right now... BELLA Hey Bella. You've dated someone who's a different species to you right? BILL Hi, Fern mentioned you were interested in interdimensional portals... FERN Aw, your pictures are nice! KURT Hey. Are you around? RICHIE Is it just me or is Eddie acting weirder than usual? QROW Hey. Checking up on you. EDA Hi Eda. Hope Ruddiger found you okay. GLITCH Hey. What happened between you and Maul? LUNA Luna- I uh... I think I need your help EDDIE So hey, I finally worked out how to replicate the Antidote OSCAR So, I noticed Ozpin has shown up. ROGUE Hey, I managed to replicate the Antidote KURT Hey. We're back. None of us are dead. QROW Uh... hey. How are you guys holding up? PETER You gave Ruby the haunted dolls GLITCH Hey, Bud. Sorry I tried to murder you with a robot KURT I'm probably the last person you want to talk to... JON I'm sorry I attacked you JON Stay away from Fern. FERN Hey you still haven't got me those baking ingredients FERN Okay so the Betties are upping their war... USAGI Hey. So. Update. NEO You tried to bury her alive? SERIOUSLY? USAGI Emotions are really difficult FERN OH MY GOD YOU HAVE ONE TOO FERN Okay this better be to Fern this time. WYNONNA So guess who got into the fridge and ate literally everything in there.

code by cawaii

Comments

[laminae]

yeah the grumpy guy with the huge muscles

ha ha no

[Sorry Varian, the townspeople are awful and he hates them.]

no Kurt did
also i thought she was a he at the time
and she isn't really mine
she just hangs around a lot
and built a nest in my treehouse

[droptheious]

I've never met him. He likes plants?

[Varian hates them too but let's not murder people, Fern.]

Huh. Well, that's kinda nice. That you have an animal friend. Magpies are supposed to be very intelligent, you know.

[laminae]

i don't know if he likes them
but he knows a ton about them
he lives in the cabin near my treehouse so i think he spends a lot of time in the woods

[What about a little murder. Just a tiny bit.]

birds like me a lot
probably because i read more as nest material than another living creature

[Ha ha ha he isn't joking.]

she's really smart
she knows how to harass people and get away with it
i've seen her steal like a million snacks from unsuspecting lunchgoers

[droptheious]

I guess every town needs a hermit. Good for him. Living his best life.

[No, Fern. No murder. Not even a tiny bit.]

I mean. Yeah I guess so. They probably think you're safe. Hah! All fear her winged sneak attack!

[laminae]

he isn't a total hermit, he lives with Kurt
and Wrench i think
they're all an item

[Wow, killjoy.]

she's made a career in divebombing people

[droptheious]

Is Wrench a name of an actual person? Because that's a tool. Usually.

[Varian, you're talking to a guy called Fern and you know someone who genuinely goes by 'Angry', come on.]

Also... good for them? I guess? Romance in the nightmare dimension again. I bearly understand it in the regular dimension so sure.

Aww, I'm glad she found her place in the world.

[laminae]

you know i'm not sure if that's his name or just a nickname
i've never asked

[... And now he's wondering.]

yeahhhh i'm starting to realize i know a lot of people who are dating here
no idea why

she's lucky, not everyone can say that

[droptheious]

It could go either way. Some names are unique.

I guess it does something for them.


They really can't. It's usually a mess for most of us.

[laminae]

Wrench doesn't seem all that weird to me
but i guess it's nothing like human names huh

maybe

ha ha yep that's the rest of us, total messes

[droptheious]

I mean I don't really have a normal human name either, so I haven't really got a place to talk.

Go us, and our total mess-ness...ness? Is that a word? I don't think it's a word.

[laminae]

you don't?
i mean i wouldn't really know
back home humans are pretty much extinct except for Finn
all i got to go off of are ancient human ruins and being stuck here

who cares, it describes us perfectly

[droptheious]

Not really. It just means "variable". You know. Like changing a lot. It's a sciencey kind of term. I don't think my dad picked it for me.

Wait.

Back up. Humans are extinct? Like. EXTINCT extinct?

[laminae]

so your mom then?

oh yeah
mostly extinct
there's still Finn
and Martin i guess

and Simon, but only sometimes
i guess Betty counted for a while before she went bonkers and disappeared
maybe Susan? still not sure what's with her

[droptheious]

Maybe? I mean. Makes sense. I don't know, I don't remember her and dad never really talks about her.

That seems like... a lot of variables in the "probably extinct" thing. Then again, if there's only one left in the definitely still human category, yeah, gonna say extinct.

Well. That's depressing.

[laminae]

man, i know what that's like

Simon and Betty are pretty specific circumstances though
those circumstances being a magic life extension and a hole in spacetime

yeah i generally try not to think about it
it makes me all soul-searchy and sad

[droptheious]

Yeah those sound super specific and not really within the realms of normality. Unless lots of beings in your world have magic life extensions?

I can see why that would happen. Yeah. I think that'd do that to me, too.

[laminae]

it happens but it isn't that common
Simon's case is a wizard thing
once he was human again he started kicking the bucket like, right then and there

it's cool getting to know humans here though
and learning about how they lived

[droptheious]

Oh. Right. That'd about do it. Magic's fickle like that.

I bet you could learn a lot from history books. Or in my case future books. I'm catching up on a century-plus of human life on Earth and it's a ride.

[laminae]

that's a nice way of putting it

i've been to the library here
it's kind of boring

[droptheious]

I'm being politer than I strictly should be.

Libraries are only boring if you haven't found the right books. Like, you know you can read about knights and swords and stuff, right? There's plenty of books on those.

[It's a dirty trick to get his friend into a library, but sometimes you have to play dirty.]

[laminae]

that's got to get tiring

i know
it's not like i hate reading or anything
i like some books
i got a book from home here
most books are just boring
and libraries are too
you sit around being quiet for hours and hours how is that any fun

[droptheious]

It definately is.

Man, you know what I wish I had here? The Flynnigan Rider books. Now those were great. They weren't history books or anything. They were stories about this swashbuckling adventurer. They're amazing. I bet you'd love them- not in the least bit boring.

[Varian, you don't think complex math questions are boring, you don't have a good yardstick here- correct as you might be in this instance. ]

[laminae]

ok swashbuckling adventures sounds up my alley
i read a lot of those kinds of books back in Ooo
stuff about Robin Hood and Billy and whoever

[droptheious]

I thought as much. They're really exciting! I loved them a lot. Eugene even took the name for his fake thief-persona. But yeah, very like Robin Hood. Except that Flynn is super rich and goes on adventures anyway. I don't know who Billy is.

[laminae]

ok if you can get a hold of those books i'll read em
they sound fun

Billy was the Legendary Champion of Ooo
real heroic guy
super nice, too