Deerington inbox

[droptheious]

FROM: SUBJECT: FERN Ooo slang part the second FERN i think we just shared electrons, because i'm feeling a covalent bond between us LANCE Pidge, I need your help. I gotta send a meme to Chloe but ... DIPPER Hey Varian. You know those crazy alchemy bombs you used... PETER Hey Varian, this is Peter. Um, Peter Graham. USAGI Soooooooo~ How'd the date go? MAKO Varian— Checking in. SHIRO i think one of us put a chicken patty in my toaster EDDIE Hey. We need to talk. MELIUS 𝐻𝒾. 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒾𝓉 𝓁𝑜𝑜𝓀𝓈 𝓌𝑒𝒾𝓇𝒹 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓇𝓉 EDA Hey, kid. I... owe you an apology. LUZ Valentines MAUL I have a proposition for a project I think you'll be interested in USAGI I LOVE YOU FERN DUDE you still have your bandana! BUZZ Morning. I heard from Fern you wanted to go out into the blizzard. FERN dude your profile changed USAGI Ruby told me about the breakup. GLITCH Varian, I'm gonna go live somewhere else for now MAKO A "nerd" is somebody smart... MAUL Gifts FERN heeyyyy quick question FERN Christmas is coming up!!! CHLOE god who the FUCK ever thought emojis were a good idea??? KRISTOFF Varian,It's getting colder so I thought you could use this FERN heyyyy Variable RAPUNZEL okay not to put you on the spot but... EDA Potion time NEO Dude, I can mine antidote shit here! GLITCH Got this in my basket. EDA hey smart kid TEN Hallo ADAM Hey, k-- uh, Varian. I just wanted to check in USAGI I'm sorry I worried you and fainted on you yesterday. AMARA i lived, bitch NEO Debatably good news, asshole USAGI Hey Varian! It's Usagi OSCAR I'm sorry, Varian. Tell me what you need FERN a dark past huh MAUL Varian. I am in great need of your assistance FERN Varian VARIAN I CAN EAT FOOD USAGI How much moon essence do you have? USAGI VIVI-KUN, VIVI-KUN GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT! RICHIE well I promised FERN A TOTALLY INCOMPLETE LIST OF OOO WORDS 'N SLANG GLITCH VARIAN ARE THERE BUGS IN THE WATER?! USAGI To help with restless nights and the... VIRA-LORR Little alchemist. I have a gift for you. MARTIN Hi, Varian. This is Martin. I wanted to reach out... USAGI Hi Varian, sweetie! I have a question for you. GLITCH varian I need to talk to you. it's important. USAGI I need you not to panic after what I tell you. FERN dog you have so many vests IRONHIDE HONK HONK USAGI ... I'm sorry I couldn't help you better, Varian EMERALD Hey, V. Not that I care that much or anything... FERN tell me when you're alive FERN Varian i stabbed two people AMARA hey weirdo i have something for you FERN is the Rapunzel in town your Rapunzel? PENNY Salutations!! You do not know me, but my name is Penny Polendina YANG Hey, is this Varian? I think we've met once before. FERN hey can we talk FERN you told ruby MAUL Surviving another year is always an occasion worth celebrating USAGI Hey I wanted to apologise USAGI VARIAN-KUUUUNNN!!!! FERN birth MAUL Look what just arrived for me. KATHERINE Do you want to get paid to make more purple goo things? FERN ok i know you're good with plants but what about animals FERN dog interested in means girls or guys

TO: SUBJECT: USAGI So. Maul dropped by, he's got his memories back. ADAM I'm worried about Shiro FERN Hey handsome OSCAR You've been weirdly quiet lately FERN Guess what I haven't told you lately? USAGI Hey. I'm back from the dead and I feel like trash. FERN I made meatloaf that may or may not poison us! Emerald Hey. I know you probably don't want to talk to anyone right now... BELLA Hey Bella. You've dated someone who's a different species to you right? BILL Hi, Fern mentioned you were interested in interdimensional portals... FERN Aw, your pictures are nice! KURT Hey. Are you around? RICHIE Is it just me or is Eddie acting weirder than usual? QROW Hey. Checking up on you. EDA Hi Eda. Hope Ruddiger found you okay. GLITCH Hey. What happened between you and Maul? LUNA Luna- I uh... I think I need your help EDDIE So hey, I finally worked out how to replicate the Antidote OSCAR So, I noticed Ozpin has shown up. ROGUE Hey, I managed to replicate the Antidote KURT Hey. We're back. None of us are dead. QROW Uh... hey. How are you guys holding up? PETER You gave Ruby the haunted dolls GLITCH Hey, Bud. Sorry I tried to murder you with a robot KURT I'm probably the last person you want to talk to... JON I'm sorry I attacked you JON Stay away from Fern. FERN Hey you still haven't got me those baking ingredients FERN Okay so the Betties are upping their war... USAGI Hey. So. Update. NEO You tried to bury her alive? SERIOUSLY? USAGI Emotions are really difficult FERN OH MY GOD YOU HAVE ONE TOO FERN Okay this better be to Fern this time. WYNONNA So guess who got into the fridge and ate literally everything in there.

code by cawaii

Comments

[laminae]

.... Huh.

[The blizzard is what gets his attention. Sorry, Varian.]

Did Zhan Tiri have a crown?

[droptheious]

Uh... I'm not sure. I haven't seen any drawings of her. She was a warlock who became a demon so maybe? She might have made one of her own?

[That's a really fuckin weird question, Fern.]

...Why?

[laminae]

['Maybe' isn't a great answer. It's kind of a scary answer, actually, knowing how Simon is, and how his alternate universe self acted.]

'Cause there's a magic crown back home that can do ice magic. Tons of ice magic. Blizzards would be no problem for it. [He scratches his head.] It also drives you bananas. Really, really bananas, like you wouldn't even believe.

[droptheious]

Oh.

I mean, I think she was bananas before the whole... blizzard thing? Like she wanted to have power over the magical forces in my world? And when Demantius told her "hey maybe let's not destroy the universe" with them, she kind of decides to try and destroy him. Ergo blizzard. He trapped her in a tree at one point?

[He shrugs.]

Okay you know I talk a lot of trash about Ooo, but sometimes, my world is just as bizarre.

[laminae]

[






Where has he heard of a great evil being trapped in a tree before? Oh, yeah.]

Did... she stay in the tree?

[droptheious]

[He offers Fern a sympathetic wince.]

Not a sentient tree. Just... a tree. And eh, after a complicated mess where another blizzard got sent out and the Deamitus Device was used again- one of her followers was released. Like... a legit ghost or... something. She used Rapunzel and a bunch of townspeople to try and get her out of the tree. I don't think it worked? The guys were vague on it and I was kind of planning to murder them all at the time so I wasn't present for the whole ghost lady thing.

[He was too busy planning REVENGE. ]

[laminae]

[Wow, okay, that's definitely a situation that was going on.]

Yikes.

[Sorry Varian, 'yikes' seems accurate for that situation.]

Uh, sounds like a lot was going on. There was - this tree back home, too. Nothing to do with the crown I was talking about, this was something different. It was a prison for someone, too. I kinda screwed that all up, though.

[The similarities are kind of freaky.]

Maybe tree-prisons are just a constant across universes?

[droptheious]

['Yikes' is the perfect word in this situation.]

Was it to keep someone bad in? I'm gonna guess yes, but just in case.

Maybe? I think Demanitus was desperate at that point.

[laminae]

As bad as anyone can get, yeah. Billy pummeled the Lich into the sap of the tree that's in the middle of the Candy Kingdom. He was stuck there for hundreds of years.

[Until he messed things up, good job.]

A tree wouldn't be my first pick for a prison.

[droptheious]

Ohhhh, this is the creepy hand Lich? Okay, that's fair. You wanna keep someone like that away.

[He gives a shrug.]

I don't think regular prison works so well, either.

[He hated regular prison. It was a pretty awful time before he broke out. ]

[laminae]

[Away or, preferably, dead. Too bad the Lich is immune to being dead or something.

At any rate, he agrees.]

True, true. Glad there isn't one here.

[droptheious]

I don't think prison is the Authorities style.

[laminae]

I think that was one of the first things I learned when I showed up here.

[droptheious]

Yeah, same here. Running from them was a fun time, turns out they hate it when you blow up trees. Weird.

[Varian the letter CLEARLY STATES that arson is illegal. It's RIGHT THERE.]

[laminae]

They don't? I'll try to remember that.

[Guess who also did not read the stupid letter. He scratches his cheek.]

I tried to kill some guy, and he told me what would happen if I did.

[droptheious]

It's a good one to remember! You never know.

[Varian got as far as the fact the legal drinking age was 21 and threw the rest out as stupid future bullshit. ]

Ohhhh yeah, they really hate murder. [No. Wait. That's not... that's not the question he should ask first.] Why were you trying to kill him?

[Nailed it.]

[laminae]

He's a jerk to me.

[Fern no, Fern that is not a reason to try and kill someone.]

[droptheious]

[Varian lets out a soft hmmmmmmmm. ]

Don't think that's a reason to murder someone, Fern.

[laminae]

It felt like the right thing to do at the time.

[droptheious]

[Fern. Fern, honey no.]

What did he do? I mean, specifically?

[laminae]

[He frowns a little.]

He was making fun of me.

[droptheious]

...Yeah, murder's a little extreme a reaction for that one, buddy.

[laminae]

It's not like I wound up killing him. I got a punch in, that was good enough.

[droptheious]

...Okay, fair. The punching in that scenario is fine.

[laminae]

Thanks for your approval.

[Look! He can do sarcasm too, sometimes!]