droptheious | Deerington inbox

Deerington inbox

FROM:

SUBJECT:

	FERN	Ooo slang part the second
	FERN	i think we just shared electrons, because i'm feeling a covalent bond between us
	LANCE	Pidge, I need your help. I gotta send a meme to Chloe but ...
	DIPPER	Hey Varian. You know those crazy alchemy bombs you used...
	PETER	Hey Varian, this is Peter. Um, Peter Graham.
	USAGI	Soooooooo~ How'd the date go?
	MAKO	Varian— Checking in.
	SHIRO	i think one of us put a chicken patty in my toaster
	EDDIE	Hey. We need to talk.
	MELIUS	𝐻𝒾. 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒾𝓉 𝓁𝑜𝑜𝓀𝓈 𝓌𝑒𝒾𝓇𝒹 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓇𝓉
	EDA	Hey, kid. I... owe you an apology.
	LUZ	Valentines
	MAUL	I have a proposition for a project I think you'll be interested in
	USAGI	I LOVE YOU
	FERN	DUDE you still have your bandana!
	BUZZ	Morning. I heard from Fern you wanted to go out into the blizzard.
	FERN	dude your profile changed
	USAGI	Ruby told me about the breakup.
	GLITCH	Varian, I'm gonna go live somewhere else for now
	MAKO	A "nerd" is somebody smart...
	MAUL	Gifts
	FERN	heeyyyy quick question
	FERN	Christmas is coming up!!!
	CHLOE	god who the FUCK ever thought emojis were a good idea???
	KRISTOFF	Varian,It's getting colder so I thought you could use this
	FERN	heyyyy Variable
	RAPUNZEL	okay not to put you on the spot but...
	EDA	Potion time
	NEO	Dude, I can mine antidote shit here!
	GLITCH	Got this in my basket.
	EDA	hey smart kid
	TEN	Hallo
	ADAM	Hey, k-- uh, Varian. I just wanted to check in
	USAGI	I'm sorry I worried you and fainted on you yesterday.
	AMARA	i lived, bitch
	NEO	Debatably good news, asshole
	USAGI	Hey Varian! It's Usagi
	OSCAR	I'm sorry, Varian. Tell me what you need
	FERN	a dark past huh
	MAUL	Varian. I am in great need of your assistance
	FERN	Varian VARIAN I CAN EAT FOOD
	USAGI	How much moon essence do you have?
	USAGI	VIVI-KUN, VIVI-KUN GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT!
	RICHIE	well I promised
	FERN	A TOTALLY INCOMPLETE LIST OF OOO WORDS 'N SLANG
	GLITCH	VARIAN ARE THERE BUGS IN THE WATER?!
	USAGI	To help with restless nights and the...
	VIRA-LORR	Little alchemist. I have a gift for you.
	MARTIN	Hi, Varian. This is Martin. I wanted to reach out...
	USAGI	Hi Varian, sweetie! I have a question for you.
	GLITCH	varian I need to talk to you. it's important.
	USAGI	I need you not to panic after what I tell you.
	FERN	dog you have so many vests
	IRONHIDE	HONK HONK
	USAGI	... I'm sorry I couldn't help you better, Varian
	EMERALD	Hey, V. Not that I care that much or anything...
	FERN	tell me when you're alive
	FERN	Varian i stabbed two people
	AMARA	hey weirdo i have something for you
	FERN	is the Rapunzel in town your Rapunzel?
	PENNY	Salutations!! You do not know me, but my name is Penny Polendina
	YANG	Hey, is this Varian? I think we've met once before.
	FERN	hey can we talk
	FERN	you told ruby
	MAUL	Surviving another year is always an occasion worth celebrating
	USAGI	Hey I wanted to apologise
	USAGI	VARIAN-KUUUUNNN!!!!
	FERN	birth
	MAUL	Look what just arrived for me.
	KATHERINE	Do you want to get paid to make more purple goo things?
	FERN	ok i know you're good with plants but what about animals
	FERN	dog interested in means girls or guys

TO:

SUBJECT:

	USAGI	So. Maul dropped by, he's got his memories back.
	ADAM	I'm worried about Shiro
	FERN	Hey handsome
	OSCAR	You've been weirdly quiet lately
	FERN	Guess what I haven't told you lately?
	USAGI	Hey. I'm back from the dead and I feel like trash.
	FERN	I made meatloaf that may or may not poison us!
	Emerald	Hey. I know you probably don't want to talk to anyone right now...
	BELLA	Hey Bella. You've dated someone who's a different species to you right?
	BILL	Hi, Fern mentioned you were interested in interdimensional portals...
	FERN	Aw, your pictures are nice!
	KURT	Hey. Are you around?
	RICHIE	Is it just me or is Eddie acting weirder than usual?
	QROW	Hey. Checking up on you.
	EDA	Hi Eda. Hope Ruddiger found you okay.
	GLITCH	Hey. What happened between you and Maul?
	LUNA	Luna- I uh... I think I need your help
	EDDIE	So hey, I finally worked out how to replicate the Antidote
	OSCAR	So, I noticed Ozpin has shown up.
	ROGUE	Hey, I managed to replicate the Antidote
	KURT	Hey. We're back. None of us are dead.
	QROW	Uh... hey. How are you guys holding up?
	PETER	You gave Ruby the haunted dolls
	GLITCH	Hey, Bud. Sorry I tried to murder you with a robot
	KURT	I'm probably the last person you want to talk to...
	JON	I'm sorry I attacked you
	JON	Stay away from Fern.
	FERN	Hey you still haven't got me those baking ingredients
	FERN	Okay so the Betties are upping their war...
	USAGI	Hey. So. Update.
	NEO	You tried to bury her alive? SERIOUSLY?
	USAGI	Emotions are really difficult
	FERN	OH MY GOD YOU HAVE ONE TOO
	FERN	Okay this better be to Fern this time.
	WYNONNA	So guess who got into the fridge and ate literally everything in there.

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cawaii

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[... Yeah, okay, Fern is not even going to question any of that. Nor is he going to tell Varian that violence isn't the answer, or try to persuade him away from that kind of thinking. He's just going to try and be there for him.]

ok
got it

[He'd like to not be holed up in the treehouse by himself, but he also doesn't want to drag Varian into his problems any more than he already has. No wonder he was so grossed out by the prospect of romance - heck, right now he can't even figure out why he wants to be friends with him. All he's doing is infecting him with his misery.]

it's probably better to just forget i said anything

[He is very glad of that. He didn't want to give a laundry list of the awful shit Gothel has pulled and how she's actively destroyed the lives of the people he holds dear. Not today, no thanks.]

Thank you.

[He stares at Fern's next words and heaves out a sigh, He doesn't know how to mend this. He doesn't know how to help. Whatever he tries seems to make Fern hate himself all the more.]

But I'm worried about you.

[Funny how dealing with Rapunzel, whose life is apparently a total chaotic mess, is easier than everything else.]

i know
i'm sorry
i keep dumping my problems on you and you don't deserve that
i'm not a good friend

[Rapunzel's life has been consistently on fire since she got out of the tower.]

You are a good friend. I don't mind the problem dumping. Friends are supposed to help each other out with that kinda stuff. Despite everything else.

I don't want you to be hurting if I can help any.

[There's several long minutes of silence as Fern wrestles with wanting to argue and wanting to give in.

He eventually chooses the latter.]

i don't want to be alone right now

[Varian lets out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding.]

Okay. Do you want me to come to the treehouse?

no
i don't want to interrupt whatever you're doing

[He almost leaves it at that, and nearly types out 'forget it i'll be fine'. But he won't, he knows he won't.]

can i come over to your place?
i'll stay out of the way

[He wants to say that Fern would never be in his way, but he doubts his friend would believe him even if he did.]

Of course you can. The traps are disabled so come right on over.

thanks

[He'll give Hazel a bit of before heading on over to Raccoon Alley. He's dragging his feet the entire way, wrestling with the urge to contact Varian again and tell him that he's changed his mind. He hasn't , of course, he just doesn't want to be a bother.

When he arrives he rings the doorbell. While he looks significantly healthier than when he came back from the dead there are still dark circles under his eyes, and the life has been drained out of him. He's also solid grey again, with no signs of the little colourful flowers from the party.]

[Varian answers the door, he notices with a small frown the flowers have gone from Fern's hair. He imagines Fern took them out- he hopes its that, and that Fern didn't lose the small splash of colour he had. He... doesn't look great, and not for the first time, Varian feels a twinge of guilt in his gut over it. ]

Hey, come on in.

[He steps aside, letting Fern inside. Worry still mars his expression- he's not sure what to do to help here. A hug maybe? But would Fern read into it? Would he hope it meant more than a hug? He doesn't know- things used to be so much easier between them, he hates having to second guess himself.

Eventually, he settles for putting a hand on Fern's shoulder, not quite the hug he'd like to offer, but... something.]

I really am sorry. About... everything. You wanna come watch me build a robot?

[When the door opens, Fern takes an immediate step towards Varian. But his mind catches up with him and he's absolutely certain Varian would think he's gross for attempting a hug, so he freezes and instead awkwardly clenches his hands into fists and steps inside.

He clenches them tighter when that hand settles on his shoulder, tight enough to dig his nails into his palms, and glances downwards.]

... Yeah, okay.

[He'll curl up in a corner and let Varian work. That sounds unobtrusive.]

[Varian can already tell he's made a bad move- but if it's from touching Fern at all, or not offering a hug, he can't tell. But he has learned Fern's body language enough to know of yet another misstep. Back to making each other miserable, it is, then.

He leads Fern down into his basement, where, as promised, a half-built robot is sitting on his workbench. It has quite a few legs and could be misconstrued as a spider or some sort of crab, really. There's a bass shell sitting on one side, the robot inside a complex jumble of cogs and pipes. Varian offers a smile, trying to fix something here- he clearly plans to get Fern involved. ]

So, this is one of the robots I've been working on to defend the house a little. Cool, huh?

[If he was feeling even halfway normal Fern would be enthusiastic at the sight of the robot. He loves building things, and he loves robots. NEPTR is, after all, his creation, and his favourite member of his extremely bizarre little family.

But he doesn't feel that enthusiasm. He doesn't even feel any fondness for NEPTR when he looks at it. There is a creeping sensation of discomfort when his mind makes the connection and thinks spider, and that's about it.

He stares at it a little longer.]

Why's it look like that?

I made it look deliberately creepy. It's supposed to be a burglar deterrent. I want them to be creeped out.

[He at least starts to realise Fern's discomfort and remembers the incident with the spiders in the woods. He glances at the robot, then at Fern.]

Do... Fern do you not like spiders?

[He almost asked if Fern was afraid of them, but something in his brain put the breaks on that before he could let it fall out of his mouth. Thanks, brain. ]

[Okay, well, he was going for creepy. Mission accomplished. Fern nods slowly, then takes several steps away.]

I don't know. Does anyone like spiders?

[He's just going to find a table or something that currently does have stuff on to sit on. Then pull his legs up to his chest.]

Finn doesn't like them. He'd have nightmares about them sometimes, but he has nightmares about a lot of junk.

[He was absolutely going for creepy. He huffs in amusement, shrugging his shoulders. ]

Rapunzel does. But Rapunzel loves all living things, so that's not a big shocker.

[The only living thing Rapunzel doesn't like is Uncle Monty, but at least that's mutual. He pauses in his work, catching Fern a worried look. Finn's memories were his, after all. Only stands to reason fears would slip into that, too.]

Do you want me to work on something else? I can if it's making you uncomfortable, no biggie. I've got like, a ton of different projects on the go.

Rapunzel's kind of a weirdo, sometimes. Don't tell her I said that.

[Because princess and... yeah. No.

He looks uncomfortable that he's already managed to somehow interrupt Varian's work, and shakes his head.]

No. It's not even a real spider.

[He'll just deal with his stupid brain being a trash fire, don't worry about it.]

[He laughs because... yeah. Yeah.]

Rapunzel is absolutely a weirdo, but I promise the secret's safe with me.

[Varian watches him for a short moment, before nodding, going back to work- placing cogs within the innards of the machine. He tinkers in silence for a short while- mulling over if he should talk at all. He used to be so sure how to deal with Fern and now he's just... not.]

Do you want to talk about it?

[That's good to hear. Even if she doesn't actually know she's a princess he doesn't want to go around being the kind of person who insults them.

He's otherwise silent for those several minutes, irritated with himself for being so discomforted by this. It shouldn't be a big deal, Finn dealt with actual giant spiders that wanted to eat him and he was fine. Why can't he be fine with a stupid robot that isn't even finished?

When Varian speaks up he hesitates, needing that extra time to push past his frustration and incoherence and come up with the right words for an answer. Eventually he settles on:]

Are you afraid of them?

[Varian pauses in his work, looking at Fern, then at the spider.]

...Not exactly what I meant, but no. I'm not afraid of them. Living things don't bother me, they're just... animals.

[Varian's fears are pretty consistently internal and surround his own shitty, broken psyche. Spiders? Spiders he can handle.]

[Varian is lucky spiders aren't part of his internal, broken psyche!

Fern looks at the robot again, quietly, then hugs his knees a bit tighter.]

I'm just being selfish. This place sucks and part of me is happy he woke up and got away from here.

[The other part of him is devastated he's been abandoned again.]

[Varian stares at his steampunk abomination for a moment, at war with himself. Eventually, he sighs, putting his tools down and walking over to Fern, moving to sit beside him on the table. ]

You're not being selfish.

[Because this, this he gets. He's felt selfish too, at times- aside from Rapunzel and the collected Corona animals, everyone he has here is from another world. What happens when they just... go? Never to remember the people they knew here. It's like they never even existed. ]

He was really important to you. It makes sense you feel awful about him going. B-because once people leave here, you might never see them again. It's not like most of us are even from the same worlds. It's almost like someone dying. Except not here dying. When they leave here, they're gone for good, mostly. I know the thought of losing the people I care about here is one of the many things that keep me awake at night. Like- how.. how are you supposed to make peace that the people you care most about will one day just... go?

[He guesses it's like regular life- he remembers losing his dad vividly. He got him back, but for over a year, the man might as well have been dead. He glances at Fern again, then carefully puts an arm around him, pulling him a little closer. He'd failed to give the hug at the right time before, he doesn't aim to this time.]

You're amongst those people, by the way. The- the ones I can't bear to lose. But I get it. It's... hard. Losing people.

[Abandonment issues are the worst. The rational part of his brain knows Will would never want to leave him willingly, they were family and he was never the kind of person to ditch family he cared about. He was there for him through all the worst parts of Deerington. He cared about him.

The irrational part of his brain is pushing that abandonment complex into overdrive. Will is gone, and he's never coming back. He's alone again. Once the shock has worn off and he's no longer numb he knows he's going to be a mess of anxiety and panic.

Fern fully expects Varian to keep working on the robot while they talk, so when he stops and walks over and hops onto the table with him he looks shocked. None of this is what he wants to hear, of course, but it's better than being fed a blatant lie. It's... sadly, it's bonding over mutual abandonment issues, and it helps to be able to talk to someone else who understands.

When Varian's arm settles around his shoulder Fern instinctively stiffens. The shock from before is nothing compared to what he's feeling now - the awkward shoulder part from earlier had pretty much cemented in his mind that that was the most physical contact that was going to happen between them.

He doesn't pull away. He slumps against Varian, incredibly grateful for the contact.]

It's really hard. This place is bad enough to us, I don't get why it has to get one more dig in with this. Why can't we keep on knowing each other when we wake up? Why do we all have to be from different universes -

[... Oh.

Hold on.

Fern suddenly sits up, as if he was electrocuted.]

Wait.

[Abandonment issues are the freaking worst. The only thing that tops them for Varian is all his validation issues- but if he were honest, they tended to come hand in hand. One almost inevitably followed the other. He wasn't good enough for people, so they left. Or they put up walls. Or they turned their back on him when he needed them most. Sometimes, that all felt like an inevitability.

Varian is less easy with the lies these days. Not when it matters. He's pretty sure he could still run a manipulative ring around someone if he really wanted to- but he's trying to be better. And despite everything, despite how messy and complicated everything was right now, he didn't want to see Fern hurting. It's been far too much in too small a space of time. So he relaxes a touch when Fern doesn't shove back. ]

I don't know. If I knew how this place worked I would have tried to pick apart something by now. I know Peter said he wants to find a way for people to leave, or stay or... or go wherever they-

[As Fern sits up, he nearly falls away from the empty space he was occupying.]

...What?

[The physical comfort is nice. It makes things a tiny bit easier to deal with. Finn has always been an affectionate kid thanks to Margaret's nurturing, and Fern is no different. If he wasn't suddenly realizing there's a solution to his problem right under his nose, he'd be content to stay like that for a while.

Varian's remarks, which a normal person would think as nice but hopelessly futile, cause several things in Fern's mind click neatly into place.]

Oh geez. Oh geez oh geez -

[He's frantically pulling his backpack off, opening it and yanking out a massive, worn book. The Enchiridion. He stares at it in silence for several seconds, then turns the little decorative sword on the cover. This causes two flaps to pop open, like small doors, to reveal nine empty slots.

Oh Globbit, how did he never think of this before? He turns to Varian, holding the book up.]

The Enchiridion! The Enchiridion's a portal to every universe!

[He, of course, knew that when it first showed up in his blessings basket, but he always refrained from considering using it in that way. But with Will gone - this changes things.]

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