[The one thing he's grateful to have inherited from Finn is that he rarely starts bawling. Crying, sure, and he keeps on wiping away the tears well up in his eyes. But he doesn't start sobbing like some little kid. That would just be embarrassing, on top of everything else.

He glances up at Varian, his insecurities and self-loathing not letting him believe that. He's nothing but a loser, this whole day has made that abundantly clear.]

I... I thought things were okay, too. Better than okay.

[Fern sorely wishes he could breathe right now. He misses drawing in deep breaths, the feeling of a weight being lifted off of his chest when he does it. He can't, now, and he's stuck with nothing but his agitation.

Part of him doesn't believe what he's hearing. After everything they said to each other, he doesn't believe that Varian could act so - so clueless. Still, he doesn't see any other options. If he can't go and kill Ruby, then all he can do is try again.]

I meant everything I said before. I like you. A lot. More.... more than I like my other friends.

[Here we go, putting himself out there, building himself up. The only difference is this time he knows he's just going to get hurt again.]

I don't know what I am to you. You're more than a friend to me.