Deerington inbox

[droptheious]

FROM: SUBJECT: FERN Ooo slang part the second FERN i think we just shared electrons, because i'm feeling a covalent bond between us LANCE Pidge, I need your help. I gotta send a meme to Chloe but ... DIPPER Hey Varian. You know those crazy alchemy bombs you used... PETER Hey Varian, this is Peter. Um, Peter Graham. USAGI Soooooooo~ How'd the date go? MAKO Varian— Checking in. SHIRO i think one of us put a chicken patty in my toaster EDDIE Hey. We need to talk. MELIUS 𝐻𝒾. 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒾𝓉 𝓁𝑜𝑜𝓀𝓈 𝓌𝑒𝒾𝓇𝒹 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓇𝓉 EDA Hey, kid. I... owe you an apology. LUZ Valentines MAUL I have a proposition for a project I think you'll be interested in USAGI I LOVE YOU FERN DUDE you still have your bandana! BUZZ Morning. I heard from Fern you wanted to go out into the blizzard. FERN dude your profile changed USAGI Ruby told me about the breakup. GLITCH Varian, I'm gonna go live somewhere else for now MAKO A "nerd" is somebody smart... MAUL Gifts FERN heeyyyy quick question FERN Christmas is coming up!!! CHLOE god who the FUCK ever thought emojis were a good idea??? KRISTOFF Varian,It's getting colder so I thought you could use this FERN heyyyy Variable RAPUNZEL okay not to put you on the spot but... EDA Potion time NEO Dude, I can mine antidote shit here! GLITCH Got this in my basket. EDA hey smart kid TEN Hallo ADAM Hey, k-- uh, Varian. I just wanted to check in USAGI I'm sorry I worried you and fainted on you yesterday. AMARA i lived, bitch NEO Debatably good news, asshole USAGI Hey Varian! It's Usagi OSCAR I'm sorry, Varian. Tell me what you need FERN a dark past huh MAUL Varian. I am in great need of your assistance FERN Varian VARIAN I CAN EAT FOOD USAGI How much moon essence do you have? USAGI VIVI-KUN, VIVI-KUN GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT! RICHIE well I promised FERN A TOTALLY INCOMPLETE LIST OF OOO WORDS 'N SLANG GLITCH VARIAN ARE THERE BUGS IN THE WATER?! USAGI To help with restless nights and the... VIRA-LORR Little alchemist. I have a gift for you. MARTIN Hi, Varian. This is Martin. I wanted to reach out... USAGI Hi Varian, sweetie! I have a question for you. GLITCH varian I need to talk to you. it's important. USAGI I need you not to panic after what I tell you. FERN dog you have so many vests IRONHIDE HONK HONK USAGI ... I'm sorry I couldn't help you better, Varian EMERALD Hey, V. Not that I care that much or anything... FERN tell me when you're alive FERN Varian i stabbed two people AMARA hey weirdo i have something for you FERN is the Rapunzel in town your Rapunzel? PENNY Salutations!! You do not know me, but my name is Penny Polendina YANG Hey, is this Varian? I think we've met once before. FERN hey can we talk FERN you told ruby MAUL Surviving another year is always an occasion worth celebrating USAGI Hey I wanted to apologise USAGI VARIAN-KUUUUNNN!!!! FERN birth MAUL Look what just arrived for me. KATHERINE Do you want to get paid to make more purple goo things? FERN ok i know you're good with plants but what about animals FERN dog interested in means girls or guys

TO: SUBJECT: USAGI So. Maul dropped by, he's got his memories back. ADAM I'm worried about Shiro FERN Hey handsome OSCAR You've been weirdly quiet lately FERN Guess what I haven't told you lately? USAGI Hey. I'm back from the dead and I feel like trash. FERN I made meatloaf that may or may not poison us! Emerald Hey. I know you probably don't want to talk to anyone right now... BELLA Hey Bella. You've dated someone who's a different species to you right? BILL Hi, Fern mentioned you were interested in interdimensional portals... FERN Aw, your pictures are nice! KURT Hey. Are you around? RICHIE Is it just me or is Eddie acting weirder than usual? QROW Hey. Checking up on you. EDA Hi Eda. Hope Ruddiger found you okay. GLITCH Hey. What happened between you and Maul? LUNA Luna- I uh... I think I need your help EDDIE So hey, I finally worked out how to replicate the Antidote OSCAR So, I noticed Ozpin has shown up. ROGUE Hey, I managed to replicate the Antidote KURT Hey. We're back. None of us are dead. QROW Uh... hey. How are you guys holding up? PETER You gave Ruby the haunted dolls GLITCH Hey, Bud. Sorry I tried to murder you with a robot KURT I'm probably the last person you want to talk to... JON I'm sorry I attacked you JON Stay away from Fern. FERN Hey you still haven't got me those baking ingredients FERN Okay so the Betties are upping their war... USAGI Hey. So. Update. NEO You tried to bury her alive? SERIOUSLY? USAGI Emotions are really difficult FERN OH MY GOD YOU HAVE ONE TOO FERN Okay this better be to Fern this time. WYNONNA So guess who got into the fridge and ate literally everything in there.

code by cawaii

Comments

[droptheious]

She believes her real mother is the woman who kidnapped her and held her captive in a tower for eighteen years telling her that the outside world was full of people who wanted to kill her. Yeah. I'd say it'd mess with her head a whole lot.

[He hates lying to her. He's supposed to be past that. Out of everyone in the world, Rapunzel is the person he wants to lie to the least- but he doesn't know how much damage the truth would do to her now. Without Gothel here to confront.

Worst still, knowledge is a snowball. She'll learn she's a princess and then what? Ask how she knows him, what he is to her. And she'll know everything he will do to her and he absoluteky cannot stand watching her hurt and disappointment in him again. So a lie it is. It hurts the least. ]

This is the cherry on top of a pretty awful cake for this whole month for you, huh? I'm sorry. And I'm sorry I didn't help that be any less awful. You wanna punch a robot? I've only got a few, but you can punch them it if helps.

[laminae]

right, ok
i won't say anything to her
i'll try and keep an eye on her though
so she doesn't get into danger

[Fern isn't sure if that's the right choice, but it's the one Varian wants to make and he'll do what he can to support him. He can't just... not do that.

He hesitates in responding to the rest of Varian's message. He can't really tell him 'no, you didn't do anything', because that wouldn't be truth and they both know it.]

no
i don't really want to do anything right now
aside from the hole thing

[Congratulations, Varian, here's what happens when a Finn goes one step beyond dealing with his problems using emotional, obsessive-compulsive behaviour: catatonic depression.]

[droptheious]

Actually, I'd really appreciate it if you did. The Rapunzel I know can look after herself pretty well, but she hasn't got there yet. It would put my mind at ease knowing someone I trusted had her back.

...If a woman with black curly hair called Gothel shows up, claiming to be her mother, don't let her anywhere near Rapunzel. Do what you like to her. She's the worst kind of monster.

[There you go, Fern. Free reign to kill someone, quite possibly one of the few people Varian would ever agree needs to be wiped off the face of the planet. Multiple times if needs be.

He was kind of expecting that response, and any reassurance it wasn't his fault would fall on deaf ears. He feels pretty damn solidly to blame for a lot of Fern's current misery. ]

That's fine. Let me know if you need anything. I can get Ruddiger to bring over some more of the Flynn Rider books if you want?

[laminae]

[... Yeah, okay, Fern is not even going to question any of that. Nor is he going to tell Varian that violence isn't the answer, or try to persuade him away from that kind of thinking. He's just going to try and be there for him.]

ok
got it

[He'd like to not be holed up in the treehouse by himself, but he also doesn't want to drag Varian into his problems any more than he already has. No wonder he was so grossed out by the prospect of romance - heck, right now he can't even figure out why he wants to be friends with him. All he's doing is infecting him with his misery.]

it's probably better to just forget i said anything

[droptheious]

[He is very glad of that. He didn't want to give a laundry list of the awful shit Gothel has pulled and how she's actively destroyed the lives of the people he holds dear. Not today, no thanks.]

Thank you.

[He stares at Fern's next words and heaves out a sigh, He doesn't know how to mend this. He doesn't know how to help. Whatever he tries seems to make Fern hate himself all the more.]

But I'm worried about you.

[laminae]

[Funny how dealing with Rapunzel, whose life is apparently a total chaotic mess, is easier than everything else.]

i know
i'm sorry
i keep dumping my problems on you and you don't deserve that
i'm not a good friend

[droptheious]

[Rapunzel's life has been consistently on fire since she got out of the tower.]

You are a good friend. I don't mind the problem dumping. Friends are supposed to help each other out with that kinda stuff. Despite everything else.

I don't want you to be hurting if I can help any.

[laminae]

[There's several long minutes of silence as Fern wrestles with wanting to argue and wanting to give in.

He eventually chooses the latter.]

i don't want to be alone right now

[droptheious]

[Varian lets out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding.]

Okay. Do you want me to come to the treehouse?

[laminae]

no
i don't want to interrupt whatever you're doing

[He almost leaves it at that, and nearly types out 'forget it i'll be fine'. But he won't, he knows he won't.]

can i come over to your place?
i'll stay out of the way

[droptheious]

[He wants to say that Fern would never be in his way, but he doubts his friend would believe him even if he did.]

Of course you can. The traps are disabled so come right on over.

[laminae]

thanks

[He'll give Hazel a bit of before heading on over to Raccoon Alley. He's dragging his feet the entire way, wrestling with the urge to contact Varian again and tell him that he's changed his mind. He hasn't , of course, he just doesn't want to be a bother.

When he arrives he rings the doorbell. While he looks significantly healthier than when he came back from the dead there are still dark circles under his eyes, and the life has been drained out of him. He's also solid grey again, with no signs of the little colourful flowers from the party.]

[droptheious]

[Varian answers the door, he notices with a small frown the flowers have gone from Fern's hair. He imagines Fern took them out- he hopes its that, and that Fern didn't lose the small splash of colour he had. He... doesn't look great, and not for the first time, Varian feels a twinge of guilt in his gut over it. ]

Hey, come on in.

[He steps aside, letting Fern inside. Worry still mars his expression- he's not sure what to do to help here. A hug maybe? But would Fern read into it? Would he hope it meant more than a hug? He doesn't know- things used to be so much easier between them, he hates having to second guess himself.

Eventually, he settles for putting a hand on Fern's shoulder, not quite the hug he'd like to offer, but... something.]

I really am sorry. About... everything. You wanna come watch me build a robot?

[laminae]

[When the door opens, Fern takes an immediate step towards Varian. But his mind catches up with him and he's absolutely certain Varian would think he's gross for attempting a hug, so he freezes and instead awkwardly clenches his hands into fists and steps inside.

He clenches them tighter when that hand settles on his shoulder, tight enough to dig his nails into his palms, and glances downwards.]

... Yeah, okay.

[He'll curl up in a corner and let Varian work. That sounds unobtrusive.]

[droptheious]

[Varian can already tell he's made a bad move- but if it's from touching Fern at all, or not offering a hug, he can't tell. But he has learned Fern's body language enough to know of yet another misstep. Back to making each other miserable, it is, then.

He leads Fern down into his basement, where, as promised, a half-built robot is sitting on his workbench. It has quite a few legs and could be misconstrued as a spider or some sort of crab, really. There's a bass shell sitting on one side, the robot inside a complex jumble of cogs and pipes. Varian offers a smile, trying to fix something here- he clearly plans to get Fern involved. ]

So, this is one of the robots I've been working on to defend the house a little. Cool, huh?

[laminae]

[If he was feeling even halfway normal Fern would be enthusiastic at the sight of the robot. He loves building things, and he loves robots. NEPTR is, after all, his creation, and his favourite member of his extremely bizarre little family.

But he doesn't feel that enthusiasm. He doesn't even feel any fondness for NEPTR when he looks at it. There is a creeping sensation of discomfort when his mind makes the connection and thinks spider, and that's about it.

He stares at it a little longer.]

Why's it look like that?

[droptheious]

I made it look deliberately creepy. It's supposed to be a burglar deterrent. I want them to be creeped out.

[He at least starts to realise Fern's discomfort and remembers the incident with the spiders in the woods. He glances at the robot, then at Fern.]

Do... Fern do you not like spiders?

[He almost asked if Fern was afraid of them, but something in his brain put the breaks on that before he could let it fall out of his mouth. Thanks, brain. ]

[laminae]

[Okay, well, he was going for creepy. Mission accomplished. Fern nods slowly, then takes several steps away.]

I don't know. Does anyone like spiders?

[He's just going to find a table or something that currently does have stuff on to sit on. Then pull his legs up to his chest.]

Finn doesn't like them. He'd have nightmares about them sometimes, but he has nightmares about a lot of junk.

[droptheious]

[He was absolutely going for creepy. He huffs in amusement, shrugging his shoulders. ]

Rapunzel does. But Rapunzel loves all living things, so that's not a big shocker.

[The only living thing Rapunzel doesn't like is Uncle Monty, but at least that's mutual. He pauses in his work, catching Fern a worried look. Finn's memories were his, after all. Only stands to reason fears would slip into that, too.]

Do you want me to work on something else? I can if it's making you uncomfortable, no biggie. I've got like, a ton of different projects on the go.

[laminae]

Rapunzel's kind of a weirdo, sometimes. Don't tell her I said that.

[Because princess and... yeah. No.

He looks uncomfortable that he's already managed to somehow interrupt Varian's work, and shakes his head.]

No. It's not even a real spider.

[He'll just deal with his stupid brain being a trash fire, don't worry about it.]

[droptheious]

[He laughs because... yeah. Yeah.]

Rapunzel is absolutely a weirdo, but I promise the secret's safe with me.

[Varian watches him for a short moment, before nodding, going back to work- placing cogs within the innards of the machine. He tinkers in silence for a short while- mulling over if he should talk at all. He used to be so sure how to deal with Fern and now he's just... not.]

Do you want to talk about it?

[laminae]

[That's good to hear. Even if she doesn't actually know she's a princess he doesn't want to go around being the kind of person who insults them.

He's otherwise silent for those several minutes, irritated with himself for being so discomforted by this. It shouldn't be a big deal, Finn dealt with actual giant spiders that wanted to eat him and he was fine. Why can't he be fine with a stupid robot that isn't even finished?

When Varian speaks up he hesitates, needing that extra time to push past his frustration and incoherence and come up with the right words for an answer. Eventually he settles on:]

Are you afraid of them?

[droptheious]

[Varian pauses in his work, looking at Fern, then at the spider.]

...Not exactly what I meant, but no. I'm not afraid of them. Living things don't bother me, they're just... animals.

[Varian's fears are pretty consistently internal and surround his own shitty, broken psyche. Spiders? Spiders he can handle.]

[laminae]

[Varian is lucky spiders aren't part of his internal, broken psyche!

Fern looks at the robot again, quietly, then hugs his knees a bit tighter.]

I'm just being selfish. This place sucks and part of me is happy he woke up and got away from here.

[The other part of him is devastated he's been abandoned again.]

[droptheious]

[Varian stares at his steampunk abomination for a moment, at war with himself. Eventually, he sighs, putting his tools down and walking over to Fern, moving to sit beside him on the table. ]

You're not being selfish.

[Because this, this he gets. He's felt selfish too, at times- aside from Rapunzel and the collected Corona animals, everyone he has here is from another world. What happens when they just... go? Never to remember the people they knew here. It's like they never even existed. ]

He was really important to you. It makes sense you feel awful about him going. B-because once people leave here, you might never see them again. It's not like most of us are even from the same worlds. It's almost like someone dying. Except not here dying. When they leave here, they're gone for good, mostly. I know the thought of losing the people I care about here is one of the many things that keep me awake at night. Like- how.. how are you supposed to make peace that the people you care most about will one day just... go?

[He guesses it's like regular life- he remembers losing his dad vividly. He got him back, but for over a year, the man might as well have been dead. He glances at Fern again, then carefully puts an arm around him, pulling him a little closer. He'd failed to give the hug at the right time before, he doesn't aim to this time.]

You're amongst those people, by the way. The- the ones I can't bear to lose. But I get it. It's... hard. Losing people.