 "un/finished") |
FERN |
Ooo slang part the second |
|
FERN |
i think we just shared electrons, because i'm feeling a covalent bond between us |
|
LANCE |
Pidge, I need your help. I gotta send a meme to Chloe but ... |
|
DIPPER |
Hey Varian. You know those crazy alchemy bombs you used... |
|
PETER |
Hey Varian, this is Peter. Um, Peter Graham. |
|
USAGI |
Soooooooo~ How'd the date go? |
|
MAKO |
Varianβ Checking in. |
|
SHIRO |
i think one of us put a chicken patty in my toaster |
|
EDDIE |
Hey. We need to talk. |
|
MELIUS |
π»πΎ. πΌ ππππ πΎπ πππππ πππΎππΉ πΆππΉ πΎπ πΎπ πππ ππ½πππ |
|
EDA |
Hey, kid. I... owe you an apology. |
|
LUZ |
Valentines |
|
MAUL |
I have a proposition for a project I think you'll be interested in |
|
USAGI |
I LOVE YOU |
|
FERN |
DUDE you still have your bandana! |
|
BUZZ |
Morning. I heard from Fern you wanted to go out into the blizzard. |
|
FERN |
dude your profile changed |
|
USAGI |
Ruby told me about the breakup. |
|
GLITCH |
Varian, I'm gonna go live somewhere else for now |
|
MAKO |
A "nerd" is somebody smart... |
|
MAUL |
Gifts |
|
FERN |
heeyyyy quick question |
|
FERN |
Christmas is coming up!!! |
|
CHLOE |
god who the FUCK ever thought emojis were a good idea??? |
|
KRISTOFF |
Varian,It's getting colder so I thought you could use this |
|
FERN |
heyyyy Variable |
|
RAPUNZEL |
okay not to put you on the spot but... |
|
EDA |
Potion time |
|
NEO |
Dude, I can mine antidote shit here! |
|
GLITCH |
Got this in my basket. |
|
EDA |
hey smart kid |
|
TEN |
Hallo |
|
ADAM |
Hey, k-- uh, Varian. I just wanted to check in |
|
USAGI |
I'm sorry I worried you and fainted on you yesterday. |
|
AMARA |
i lived, bitch |
|
NEO |
Debatably good news, asshole |
|
USAGI |
Hey Varian! It's Usagi |
|
OSCAR |
I'm sorry, Varian. Tell me what you need |
|
FERN |
a dark past huh |
|
MAUL |
Varian. I am in great need of your assistance |
|
FERN |
Varian VARIAN I CAN EAT FOOD |
|
USAGI |
How much moon essence do you have? |
|
USAGI |
VIVI-KUN, VIVI-KUN GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT! |
|
RICHIE |
well I promised |
|
FERN |
A TOTALLY INCOMPLETE LIST OF OOO WORDS 'N SLANG |
|
GLITCH |
VARIAN ARE THERE BUGS IN THE WATER?!
|
|
USAGI |
To help with restless nights and the... |
|
VIRA-LORR |
Little alchemist. I have a gift for you. |
|
MARTIN |
Hi, Varian. This is Martin. I wanted to reach out... |
|
USAGI |
Hi Varian, sweetie! I have a question for you. |
|
GLITCH |
varian I need to talk to you. it's important. |
|
USAGI |
I need you not to panic after what I tell you. |
|
FERN |
dog you have so many vests |
|
IRONHIDE |
HONK HONK |
|
USAGI |
... I'm sorry I couldn't help you better, Varian |
|
EMERALD |
Hey, V. Not that I care that much or anything... |
|
FERN |
tell me when you're alive |
|
FERN |
Varian i stabbed two people |
|
AMARA |
hey weirdo i have something for you
|
|
FERN |
is the Rapunzel in town your Rapunzel? |
|
PENNY |
Salutations!! You do not know me, but my name is Penny Polendina |
|
YANG |
Hey, is this Varian? I think we've met once before. |
|
FERN |
hey can we talk |
|
FERN |
you told ruby |
|
MAUL |
Surviving another year is always an occasion worth celebrating |
|
USAGI |
Hey I wanted to apologise |
|
USAGI |
VARIAN-KUUUUNNN!!!! |
|
FERN |
birth |
|
MAUL |
Look what just arrived for me. |
|
KATHERINE |
Do you want to get paid to make more purple goo things? |
|
FERN |
ok i know you're good with plants but what about animals |
|
FERN |
dog interested in means girls or guys |
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
droptheious) wrote2020-03-11 08:22 am
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
cawaii
Video; UN: Feedthebunny | Backdated to after Karaoke Thread
And how you answer will cause a certain response from me, fair warning.
video: UN: trienemybest
Okaaaay. What do you want to know?
Video; Private
Did you and Ruby break up so you could date Fern?
Video; Private
[Oh no. Oh no. Oh no no no no. Why is she asking this? Did she notice? When? He thought he'd been doing so well in shoving everything as far down as it could possibly go. How did she know?
There's a blush creeping across his cheeks and now he's desperately sorry he answered this with video. He should have known better.]
I'm- I'm not dating Fern. And I've not broken up with Ruby. [In a last-ditch attempt to preserve his cover-up attempts he adds lamely:] I... I don't know what you're talking about.
Video; Private
Video; Private forever
His face appears on the screen again, and he doesn't look any less panicked. He runs a hand through his hair sucking in a breath. ]
I don't - Is it that obvious? I- I'm sorry. I'm trying to get a hold of it. I just need to try better. I'm not- I'm trying not to hurt anyone.
Video; Private forever
I'm gonna go ahead and assume neither Fern nor Ruby knows about this, about your growing feelings? [Whiiich meant... Fern's feelings were kind of being dragged along and this was, unintentionally, betraying Ruby. Oof.]
Look, Varian, sweetie, this is one of those things you HAVE to be open and honest about.
no subject
[Self-loathing always turned to 100 and all that. But he genuinely doesn't want to hurt either Ruby or Fern. It's the last thing he wants, and so he's been burying it as deep as it will go. Except now it's bubbling outwards, and if Usagi's noticed, maybe other people have too.]
No. They don't know. I can't just-
[He sucks in a ragged breath. He's been holding this in, keeping it to himself for months, and now he has an outlet he doesn't know how to handle it.]
Usagi, I don't know what to do. I still love Ruby, too. I don't- how are you supposed to deal with having feelings for two different people at the same time?
no subject
[Usagi used "Guilt!"]
You handle this by TALKING, Varian.
This isn't something you ignore because maybe, Ruby will notice and maybe just wonder if you're getting bored with the relationship or wonder if you're cheating. And maybe Fern is going to keep thinking his love is unrequited and there's no hope for him until you give him this... glimmer so he can neither move on nor be with you. Or maybe none of that will happen. But this kind of thing needs you to be open and honest.
You CAN love more than one person at a time, Varian. You can even BE with more than one person at a time. [Should she bring up the threesome thing again? Eh, she'll hold on that for now.] But only if EVERYONE agrees to it. You're not being fair to anyone, including yourself,m by trying to pretend you don't feel what you do.
I mean, you do have options. But I think there's only you're going to like.
You can acknowledge that you have feelings for Fern but tell yourself you will NEVER do anything about it and tell FERN the same thing so he has a chance to move on. You tell Ruby you would like to break up and move on with a relationship with Fern, letting him know you still have feelings for HER.
Or you TALK to them and be HONEST about how you feel and see what THEY decide in all this.
no subject
He's gone through the first two options already in his own head, and she's right, he doesn't like either of them. The thought of breaking either of their hearts that way is unthinkable. All three of them are horrendously stubborn. ]
Fern made it abundantly clear that his feelings weren't ever going to change and that's when I told him I didn't have any feelings for him. Him finding out I do will genuinely not help with that. And I don't know if Ruby would give up on me, either. For some unfathomable reason, both of them consistently refuse to abandon me.
[The third option is... something. He is at least aware that multiple relationships are a thing. Fern had told him about Kurt. But he assumed that involved less hostility between the concerned parties. ]
They don't even like each other, Usagi. I mean, sure, Fern isn't trying to kill Ruby any more but - I don't know. I don't know if this will make things worse.
[Because, obviously, you can go worse from your own feelings eating you alive. Obviously. ]
no subject
And honestly, I don't know how Ruby will take to any of this. It's hard to hear "I love you, but also I love someone else, and want to be with them ALSO." Never mind on top of that "This person I want to also be with wants to stab you." Not everyone is okay with a relationship like that.
But there's no way of knowing until you talk. All three of you. I've already asked Amara for some help when she's feeling better.
no subject
[He lets out a soft groan, burying his face in his hands. He'd had this ONE really good thing in his life and he's ruined it with his own stupid feelings. He should have been more careful. He should have pushed it down better. ]
This is gonna suck. Maybe I should just leave and go live in the caves or something. Away from everyone.
[Because it doesn't matter if he's a shitty person to just himself. He looks up suddenly as Usagi mentions Amara, panic flicking into his features again.]
W-what? You told Amara about this?!!
no subject
Yep. It is definitely gonna suck. Buu~uut imagine how much more it will suck if you DON'T talk to them and bad assumptions get made instead. No matter how good someone is, they can still feel insecure or frightened of uncertainty in a relationship. [She should know!]
Well, not THIS specifically but yes, I talked about the three of you all talking together. She's my meddling partner in crime.
no subject
[Because that's the sensible route to take here. To try and figure out how to control love. Great take, Var.]
They just- they both mean a lot to me and I'm really scared of hurting them. Especially after everything that happened in July. This is going to make things so much worse.
...I guess she did help Fern and me out a lot.
no subject
See, easy.
I know they mean a lot to you. And it's because you love them that this is hard.
Ruru-chan is a good girl like that.
no subject
[He sure is talking about an anti-love potion. That couldn't end badly. ]
I'm just... really tired of hurting them. I thought things might have a chance to settle down but now my stupid feelings are making a mess of everything.
[At least he's not denying that he loves them. That's... something.]
Oh I...uh, I meant Amara. She's pretty good as a mediator.
no subject
[Hey guess what Varian, anti-love potion isn't FUNNY so she's going to just go straight for the gut with your little implication.]
Look, I get it, I know how much it hurts our loved ones, to put them in positions they DON'T want to be in. But your feelings aren't done. They're as perfectly valid as everything else you feel.
I know, that's why I asked her in the first place.
no subject
[But he knows it's dumb and... probably amoral, too. Neither Fern nor Ruby would like the option if he gave it to them. He's pretty sure about that. So he's going to have to deal with this the hard way.]
They don't feel valid. They feel selfish.
no subject
Selfishness is as valid as anything else. Though I don't think loving two people is selfish, you feel it, you've not actually done anything about it.
Alright, let's start slow.
What do you love about Ruby?
no subject
[It's okay, Usagi, he can hug himself. He pulls his legs up a little more, hugging an arm around them. ]
So, what, doing something about it would make it selfish?
[He does uncurl himself a little at that question, sitting back a little.]
She's endlessly decent. Like she doesn't give up on anyone, ever, and she's really unashamed about that. She's a good person. And she's funny, she's really weird but she's funny. She makes me laugh when I don't always have a lot of reasons to do that. She's just... one of the best people I've ever met. She makes everything lighter.
no subject
Considering your literal FIRST thought about all this was 'I'm gonna make a potion that gets rid of the feelings of love!' And then, might I add, said this to MY face, knowing who and what I am?
Yeah, I would say you doing something before talking to me WOULD have been selfish. But we're going to throw away your very BAD idea of an anti-love potion and work on something that is actually sane and reasonable, and yes, also not selfish.
[She lets Varian gush and then smiles, nodding.]
Good.
Now. What is it about Fern that you love?
no subject
[Ruby was afraid of him now, and that's something that weighs heavily on him. What sort of person does that make him? No one good, he's sure. ]
Yeah, okay, okay your point as been made. The anti-love potion was a dumb idea. I get it.
[Solving problems with science always seems the most reasonable course of action. He guesses not this time. Emotions are hard. He's not sure where Usagi is going with this, but he obliges all the same.]
He understands me better than anyone ever has, probably better than anyone ever will. That... hurts sometimes, because we've both made some pretty unforgivable mistakes in our time and that... leaves a mark. But it means we can help each other be better people. And he is trying to be better, he never stops trying. He's brave and he's so loyal. He'd never abandon the people he cares about.
no subject
Good.
[She listens and nods as he talks and then inclines her head.]
Alright, so you know what I didn't hear in all those awesome traits? That they think you're perfect and have the answer for everything or know exactly how to be in a relationship with them.
Varian, you really have to stop thinking you need to have all the answers and that you NEED to be perfect to be in a relationship. They love you for you and what they know you can be and the hope they have in being with you. Nowhere in there do they love you because they expect you to have all the answers for them.
no subject
Neither Ruby nor Fern has ever told him he wasn't enough- hell, they've told him the exact opposite. But here he is, still in a race with himself, one he can never actually win. He lets out a slow, uneven breath. ]
It's not easy to remember that sometimes. I'm not- [perfect, far from it, he's a disaster in human form] I just wish I could do better. I'm trying, but I don't think it's ever gonna be enough.
...Which I guess goes against the point you're trying to make.
no subject
You are enough.
You have always been enough.
You will always be enough.
And when there are days you can't see that beautiful light within yourself, I hope you know that all your loved ones will help shine a light in the darkness so you can find your way.
Because we love you, Varian.
We love you so much.
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