Deerington inbox

[droptheious]

FROM: SUBJECT: FERN Ooo slang part the second FERN i think we just shared electrons, because i'm feeling a covalent bond between us LANCE Pidge, I need your help. I gotta send a meme to Chloe but ... DIPPER Hey Varian. You know those crazy alchemy bombs you used... PETER Hey Varian, this is Peter. Um, Peter Graham. USAGI Soooooooo~ How'd the date go? MAKO Varian— Checking in. SHIRO i think one of us put a chicken patty in my toaster EDDIE Hey. We need to talk. MELIUS 𝐻𝒾. 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒾𝓉 𝓁𝑜𝑜𝓀𝓈 𝓌𝑒𝒾𝓇𝒹 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓇𝓉 EDA Hey, kid. I... owe you an apology. LUZ Valentines MAUL I have a proposition for a project I think you'll be interested in USAGI I LOVE YOU FERN DUDE you still have your bandana! BUZZ Morning. I heard from Fern you wanted to go out into the blizzard. FERN dude your profile changed USAGI Ruby told me about the breakup. GLITCH Varian, I'm gonna go live somewhere else for now MAKO A "nerd" is somebody smart... MAUL Gifts FERN heeyyyy quick question FERN Christmas is coming up!!! CHLOE god who the FUCK ever thought emojis were a good idea??? KRISTOFF Varian,It's getting colder so I thought you could use this FERN heyyyy Variable RAPUNZEL okay not to put you on the spot but... EDA Potion time NEO Dude, I can mine antidote shit here! GLITCH Got this in my basket. EDA hey smart kid TEN Hallo ADAM Hey, k-- uh, Varian. I just wanted to check in USAGI I'm sorry I worried you and fainted on you yesterday. AMARA i lived, bitch NEO Debatably good news, asshole USAGI Hey Varian! It's Usagi OSCAR I'm sorry, Varian. Tell me what you need FERN a dark past huh MAUL Varian. I am in great need of your assistance FERN Varian VARIAN I CAN EAT FOOD USAGI How much moon essence do you have? USAGI VIVI-KUN, VIVI-KUN GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT! RICHIE well I promised FERN A TOTALLY INCOMPLETE LIST OF OOO WORDS 'N SLANG GLITCH VARIAN ARE THERE BUGS IN THE WATER?! USAGI To help with restless nights and the... VIRA-LORR Little alchemist. I have a gift for you. MARTIN Hi, Varian. This is Martin. I wanted to reach out... USAGI Hi Varian, sweetie! I have a question for you. GLITCH varian I need to talk to you. it's important. USAGI I need you not to panic after what I tell you. FERN dog you have so many vests IRONHIDE HONK HONK USAGI ... I'm sorry I couldn't help you better, Varian EMERALD Hey, V. Not that I care that much or anything... FERN tell me when you're alive FERN Varian i stabbed two people AMARA hey weirdo i have something for you FERN is the Rapunzel in town your Rapunzel? PENNY Salutations!! You do not know me, but my name is Penny Polendina YANG Hey, is this Varian? I think we've met once before. FERN hey can we talk FERN you told ruby MAUL Surviving another year is always an occasion worth celebrating USAGI Hey I wanted to apologise USAGI VARIAN-KUUUUNNN!!!! FERN birth MAUL Look what just arrived for me. KATHERINE Do you want to get paid to make more purple goo things? FERN ok i know you're good with plants but what about animals FERN dog interested in means girls or guys

TO: SUBJECT: USAGI So. Maul dropped by, he's got his memories back. ADAM I'm worried about Shiro FERN Hey handsome OSCAR You've been weirdly quiet lately FERN Guess what I haven't told you lately? USAGI Hey. I'm back from the dead and I feel like trash. FERN I made meatloaf that may or may not poison us! Emerald Hey. I know you probably don't want to talk to anyone right now... BELLA Hey Bella. You've dated someone who's a different species to you right? BILL Hi, Fern mentioned you were interested in interdimensional portals... FERN Aw, your pictures are nice! KURT Hey. Are you around? RICHIE Is it just me or is Eddie acting weirder than usual? QROW Hey. Checking up on you. EDA Hi Eda. Hope Ruddiger found you okay. GLITCH Hey. What happened between you and Maul? LUNA Luna- I uh... I think I need your help EDDIE So hey, I finally worked out how to replicate the Antidote OSCAR So, I noticed Ozpin has shown up. ROGUE Hey, I managed to replicate the Antidote KURT Hey. We're back. None of us are dead. QROW Uh... hey. How are you guys holding up? PETER You gave Ruby the haunted dolls GLITCH Hey, Bud. Sorry I tried to murder you with a robot KURT I'm probably the last person you want to talk to... JON I'm sorry I attacked you JON Stay away from Fern. FERN Hey you still haven't got me those baking ingredients FERN Okay so the Betties are upping their war... USAGI Hey. So. Update. NEO You tried to bury her alive? SERIOUSLY? USAGI Emotions are really difficult FERN OH MY GOD YOU HAVE ONE TOO FERN Okay this better be to Fern this time. WYNONNA So guess who got into the fridge and ate literally everything in there.

code by cawaii

Comments

text; un: fern

[laminae]

heyyyy Variable
soooo
Eda told me you talked to her
about stuff

[droptheious]

I talk to Eda about a lot of stuff. Can you be more specific?

[laminae]

uh about October
and me
you know
killing her

[droptheious]

Oh.


That stuff.

I thought I'd leave it until you wanted to talk about it. You've been dealing with a lot already. And she didn't seem all that bothered by it.

Do you want to talk about?

[laminae]

you know my answer's gonna be 'no'
but i should anyways

[droptheious]

I know. But we also both know that talking about it is probably the only way you're gonna feel less awful about it.

[laminae]

yeah, i hate it

[And he switches over to audio, because it's Varian.]

D'ya know Eda's whole deal? With her monster curse?

[droptheious]

[He's kind fo glad for the audio. Text always feels a little... off to him. Call him old-fashioned, but a conversation is so much better this way.]

I know. She tasked me with making the elixir that keeps her from turning. I was working on it in October before... well. Y'know.

[The whole losing a leg thing.]

[laminae]

[Text is a whole lot easier when you're self-conscious, or talking about really heavy things like they are right now.]

Right, yeah. The elixir. I kiiind of made a deal with her that if she went all cursed owl monster I'd either get her the elixir to turn her back, or... um. Kill her.

[droptheious]

[Varian takes a moment to consider this. Anywhere other than Deerington and he thinks he'd be horrified. But things have changed- it's not like he didn't make Ruby promise the same thing to him, back before July really kicked into high gear when he had enough of himself left to put that safeguard in place.]

...Sometimes that's necessary here. If you hadn't, she might have killed other people, and I don't think she'd have wanted that. It's... a pretty awful burden to have to carry, but you probably did more for her by doing that than letting her run rampant.

But knowing that probably doesn't make living with the fact you had to kill her any easier.

[laminae]

[That's what Eda had said. She had done her best to reassure him using the same logic - she had even asked him if she had killed any people before he got to her. It hadn't helped very much, honestly.

He's growing more sullen as he responds.]

She was totally fine with it. She thinks I did good.

[The tone of his voice screams that he didn't, though.]

I've killed loads of stuff before. That isn't the problem. [Well, it's a different kind of problem than what they're talking about.] What the problem is I didn't even try to find an elixir for her. I just reacted. All I did was attack her.

[droptheious]

[Varian's about to comment on Fern's tone. That is not the tone of someone who feels he's done 'good'. Quite the opposite, in fact. But then he continues on, filling in those blanks and realisation dawns. Oh.]

Okay.

[He's quiet a moment, letting that okay sink in a little. ]

Well, admittedly, that's... not great. But honestly, the fact you find that's a problem at all shows you're learning from it. No one gets fixed overnight. That stuff takes time and everyone makes mistakes. So learn from it. Remember how reacting like that makes you feel now and try and make sure you don't do that next time.

[laminae]

[Fern is just quiet. Yeah, he screwed up badly. He didn't react like a normal person, he reacted like a... well, like a monster.]

I... guess that's all I can do, huh?

[Try to be better next time. He doesn't like it, of course, he wants to be able to go back and fix his screw-up, even though he knows that isn't possible. Nope, his best option is to trust Varian on this, and make sure he's prepared the for the future.]

I want to hope there isn't a next time, but that'd just be naive with how this place is. How far along are you with the elixir?

[droptheious]

Pretty much. Eda doesn't seem to hold anything against you, so the only person you need forgiveness from is yourself. And I think that's a time thing.

[How much time, he's not sure of. He's not there himself yet, to be certain. He's really hoping it'll happen eventually. ]

Yeah, we always have to prepare for that. Even if we wouldn't want to be that way, we can't trust this place not to do it for us.

Pretty much done! It's complex, but I figured it out. I had to push it back to its basic chemical makeup to figure it out, but I'm pretty certain what I have brewing is right now.

[laminae]

I got a mountain to climb, in other words.

[Forgiving himself feels like he's going to be climbing an endless mountain, anyways.]

That's good to hear. Um - [Here we go, Fern, be productive.] - I want a bottle of it once you're sure it's, uh... stable? Is that what it needs to be?

[Man, he doesn't know alchemy.]

It seems like it'd be a good idea for me to have on hand. For next time.

[droptheious]

Unfortunately so. That sort of thing takes a while, but it's okay that it does- sometimes those important things take time.

[It has to be worth it once they get to the top, right? It takes so much effort to get there, it can't be for nothing- he has to believe things will feel better once they get there.

The request is actually very comforting to hear. He understands it's a big step in the right direction for Fern. Choosing another path over violence. He offers a tiny smile. ]

Of course. I'll make sure you can have one. Just in case. That's really good thinking.

[laminae]

I know, and I hate it. Being patient on top of everything else just makes it a million times harder.

[But it's worth it, he just needs to keep telling himself that, regardless of his doubts. At least Varian is here, not being alone in dealing with this kind of thing helps.]

Thanks. I figure it's the least I can do for her.

[droptheious]

It does. But it's worth it all the more once you get there. That's what I'm hoping, anyway. Maybe it feels more earned?

[It's a good idea- smart given how this place can be.]

It's a really good thing to do for you. I'm proud of you for thinking to have another option to hand, too.

[laminae]

That's gotta be it. Otherwise regular people wouldn't do it, let alone people like us.

[Y'know, the insecure, self-loathing kind of people.

At any rate, what Varian says next has Fern hideously embarrassed.]

Uh, geez. It's not a big deal, you don't gotta be proud or anything.

[droptheious]

That's a good point! They wouldn't bother, right?

[That's the assumption he's working on anyway. Who's he to know how regular people handle their emotional issues? Better than he and Fern do, to be sure.

Sorry, Fern, Varian spent the vast majority of his existence waiting to be told someone was proud of him and only recently got it. If he has a chance to say it, you're damn right he will.]

I disagree. It's a big step forward to you, and it deserves to be acknowledged.

[laminae]

Exactly! They wouldn't waste their time on it, they'd wanna be productive.

[That seems like a reasonable assumption to make, at least.

Ohhh, this is a lot. He doesn't deserve this praise.]

I don't know. A smart person would've thought of this from the get-go.

[droptheious]

Or at least waste their time on other things. Like not feeling bad, I guess? Or...petting puppies?

[Whatever it is that not horribly emotionally broken people do. ]

Not always! I know I wouldn't have thought of that right from the get-go.

[laminae]

Petting puppies sounds like something they'd do. Finn would pet Jake, sometimes. And his nieces and nephews.

[That should be more than enough evidence.]

Well, you probably would've thought of some other genius way to help her. Like you do for practically everything.

[droptheious]

That seems reasonable. Might as well give them what they like.

[Sometimes you come from worlds where animals are sentient but also still enjoy being petted. Sometimes that just happens. And oh no, don't do that to him Fern. It's been a while since he's had a bit of An Emotion around Fern- what with the chaos everything has been, but he's sure having one now. He blushes a little, rubbing the back of his neck and clearing his throat.]

Oh... um th-thanks. I wouldn't say it's for everything. Even I make mistakes.

[laminae]

Might as well.

[Oh, yeesh. He can hear the embarrassment in Varian's voice. Maybe he shouldn't have said that? He isn't sure what to do here, so... he's just going to double down.]

Sure, everyone makes mistakes, but that doesn't make you any less of a genius, which means all your ideas are all gonna be genius ones, even if they don't always work.