Deerington inbox

[droptheious]

FROM: SUBJECT: FERN Ooo slang part the second FERN i think we just shared electrons, because i'm feeling a covalent bond between us LANCE Pidge, I need your help. I gotta send a meme to Chloe but ... DIPPER Hey Varian. You know those crazy alchemy bombs you used... PETER Hey Varian, this is Peter. Um, Peter Graham. USAGI Soooooooo~ How'd the date go? MAKO Varian— Checking in. SHIRO i think one of us put a chicken patty in my toaster EDDIE Hey. We need to talk. MELIUS 𝐻𝒾. 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒾𝓉 𝓁𝑜𝑜𝓀𝓈 𝓌𝑒𝒾𝓇𝒹 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓇𝓉 EDA Hey, kid. I... owe you an apology. LUZ Valentines MAUL I have a proposition for a project I think you'll be interested in USAGI I LOVE YOU FERN DUDE you still have your bandana! BUZZ Morning. I heard from Fern you wanted to go out into the blizzard. FERN dude your profile changed USAGI Ruby told me about the breakup. GLITCH Varian, I'm gonna go live somewhere else for now MAKO A "nerd" is somebody smart... MAUL Gifts FERN heeyyyy quick question FERN Christmas is coming up!!! CHLOE god who the FUCK ever thought emojis were a good idea??? KRISTOFF Varian,It's getting colder so I thought you could use this FERN heyyyy Variable RAPUNZEL okay not to put you on the spot but... EDA Potion time NEO Dude, I can mine antidote shit here! GLITCH Got this in my basket. EDA hey smart kid TEN Hallo ADAM Hey, k-- uh, Varian. I just wanted to check in USAGI I'm sorry I worried you and fainted on you yesterday. AMARA i lived, bitch NEO Debatably good news, asshole USAGI Hey Varian! It's Usagi OSCAR I'm sorry, Varian. Tell me what you need FERN a dark past huh MAUL Varian. I am in great need of your assistance FERN Varian VARIAN I CAN EAT FOOD USAGI How much moon essence do you have? USAGI VIVI-KUN, VIVI-KUN GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT! RICHIE well I promised FERN A TOTALLY INCOMPLETE LIST OF OOO WORDS 'N SLANG GLITCH VARIAN ARE THERE BUGS IN THE WATER?! USAGI To help with restless nights and the... VIRA-LORR Little alchemist. I have a gift for you. MARTIN Hi, Varian. This is Martin. I wanted to reach out... USAGI Hi Varian, sweetie! I have a question for you. GLITCH varian I need to talk to you. it's important. USAGI I need you not to panic after what I tell you. FERN dog you have so many vests IRONHIDE HONK HONK USAGI ... I'm sorry I couldn't help you better, Varian EMERALD Hey, V. Not that I care that much or anything... FERN tell me when you're alive FERN Varian i stabbed two people AMARA hey weirdo i have something for you FERN is the Rapunzel in town your Rapunzel? PENNY Salutations!! You do not know me, but my name is Penny Polendina YANG Hey, is this Varian? I think we've met once before. FERN hey can we talk FERN you told ruby MAUL Surviving another year is always an occasion worth celebrating USAGI Hey I wanted to apologise USAGI VARIAN-KUUUUNNN!!!! FERN birth MAUL Look what just arrived for me. KATHERINE Do you want to get paid to make more purple goo things? FERN ok i know you're good with plants but what about animals FERN dog interested in means girls or guys

TO: SUBJECT: USAGI So. Maul dropped by, he's got his memories back. ADAM I'm worried about Shiro FERN Hey handsome OSCAR You've been weirdly quiet lately FERN Guess what I haven't told you lately? USAGI Hey. I'm back from the dead and I feel like trash. FERN I made meatloaf that may or may not poison us! Emerald Hey. I know you probably don't want to talk to anyone right now... BELLA Hey Bella. You've dated someone who's a different species to you right? BILL Hi, Fern mentioned you were interested in interdimensional portals... FERN Aw, your pictures are nice! KURT Hey. Are you around? RICHIE Is it just me or is Eddie acting weirder than usual? QROW Hey. Checking up on you. EDA Hi Eda. Hope Ruddiger found you okay. GLITCH Hey. What happened between you and Maul? LUNA Luna- I uh... I think I need your help EDDIE So hey, I finally worked out how to replicate the Antidote OSCAR So, I noticed Ozpin has shown up. ROGUE Hey, I managed to replicate the Antidote KURT Hey. We're back. None of us are dead. QROW Uh... hey. How are you guys holding up? PETER You gave Ruby the haunted dolls GLITCH Hey, Bud. Sorry I tried to murder you with a robot KURT I'm probably the last person you want to talk to... JON I'm sorry I attacked you JON Stay away from Fern. FERN Hey you still haven't got me those baking ingredients FERN Okay so the Betties are upping their war... USAGI Hey. So. Update. NEO You tried to bury her alive? SERIOUSLY? USAGI Emotions are really difficult FERN OH MY GOD YOU HAVE ONE TOO FERN Okay this better be to Fern this time. WYNONNA So guess who got into the fridge and ate literally everything in there.

code by cawaii

Comments

[phaseflex]

Some court's gonna need to try me for several hundred counts of murder if it isn't.

[she sounds absolutely unbothered by this fact; the statement of someone who knows how it works in her own world.]

Huh? Oh. Can you pull it out? Shit, I hope it's not in my spine.

[droptheious]

...Okay fair. The Authority here might see things differently, though. Might wanna be careful.

[What he probably should say is "might wanna not stab people in the first place" but she knows about his checkered past now, so there's really no point in going to the extra effort of pretending murder is an option he's never considered. ]

I hope it's not in your spine either. If I end up paralyzing you, I'm stating right here and now that I'm not taking the fall for it.

[He's just gonna reach out to give the piece of metal a yank. Hey, at least it's just in her jacket, right? ]

[phaseflex]

If they don't see anything happen they won't take action.

[which isn't implying that she's thought of doing something to someone out of their sight before, nope (yes it is).]

I'm pretty sure I know what metal shrapnel in a bone feels like... [she flinches when he yanks it out, reaching behind her to feel and... no skin broken! looks like the jacket did its job.] That's a no on paralysis. Right! Let's get this little lesson done.

[awfully cheerful for almost dying.]

[droptheious]

There is that. Though how much they're always watching is up for debate.

[He also definitely hasn't been thinking about that. For sure hasn't got a whole ass-poison he's creating in his lab to not-murder the woman who wants Ruby dead. No sir.

He heaves outa breath, nodding and turning to go inside the house. He's taking the metal with him- you never know when you need metal.]

Yes, please, preferably with a little less shrapnel.

[phaseflex]

Should be clear if their dispensing of justice is immediate, no?

[she follows, peeking over to see what exactly it was that almost killed her.]

There's no shrapnel involved, don't worry. I mean, unless you use it to heal a shrapnel wound. Those are nasty. You ever seen one?

[droptheious]

They showed up pretty quickly when me and Ruby blew up a tree.

[Ah, the greatest meet-cute story ever told. Explosions. He grimaces a little.]

Uh... no, I haven't. So the healing agent can heal just about anything huh?

[Look, if he's not allowed to take it apart then he at least wants to ask QUESTIONS about it.]

[phaseflex]

Explosions are easy to pinpoint, [she says, rolling her eyes. apparently not at all concerned about how they blew up a tree? that's just what normal kids do, right?] Yes, but there are rules. Bones must be set before it's injected or they will heal wrong, it cannot regrow limbs and cannot replace lost blood.

[droptheious]

[Totally normal. Just a regular kid thing to do. ]

Okay, duly noted. Do you know how it works at all? Like- even a tiny bit? Like- okay, you might not know the chemical composition, but do you understand how it heals?

[phaseflex]

The nanites inside it encourage cell regrowth with the chemical composition, as well as rebuilding stuff the body simply cannot with artificial biochemicals.

[she shrugs.]

That's all. It's very common tech back home.

[droptheious]

Nanites? Artificial biochemicals?

[He said he wouldn't take apart the chemical physically, but that's not going to stop him from trying to work it out in his head. These sound so bizzare to him. ]

...So you have multiple ways to heal people beyond conventional medicine?

[Not that he really understands "conventional medicine" at this juncture, but still.]

[phaseflex]

[nodding, she leans forward on the counter.]

Yes, but maybe explaining how robotics works in my world won't be best for your mental health.

[droptheious]

[Wow?? Excuse??? Varian looks amusingly insulted by that. How very dare!!]

Uh- strongly disagree. I bet I could learn plenty.

[And never sleep again when he tries to replicate them.]

[phaseflex]

I don't know. I'm not into robotics.

[nailed it.]

[droptheious]

[Oh, you better believe he's gonna whine.]

Whaaaaaat? Seriously?! After all that?