Deerington inbox

[droptheious]

FROM: SUBJECT: FERN Ooo slang part the second FERN i think we just shared electrons, because i'm feeling a covalent bond between us LANCE Pidge, I need your help. I gotta send a meme to Chloe but ... DIPPER Hey Varian. You know those crazy alchemy bombs you used... PETER Hey Varian, this is Peter. Um, Peter Graham. USAGI Soooooooo~ How'd the date go? MAKO Varian— Checking in. SHIRO i think one of us put a chicken patty in my toaster EDDIE Hey. We need to talk. MELIUS 𝐻𝒾. 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒾𝓉 𝓁𝑜𝑜𝓀𝓈 𝓌𝑒𝒾𝓇𝒹 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓇𝓉 EDA Hey, kid. I... owe you an apology. LUZ Valentines MAUL I have a proposition for a project I think you'll be interested in USAGI I LOVE YOU FERN DUDE you still have your bandana! BUZZ Morning. I heard from Fern you wanted to go out into the blizzard. FERN dude your profile changed USAGI Ruby told me about the breakup. GLITCH Varian, I'm gonna go live somewhere else for now MAKO A "nerd" is somebody smart... MAUL Gifts FERN heeyyyy quick question FERN Christmas is coming up!!! CHLOE god who the FUCK ever thought emojis were a good idea??? KRISTOFF Varian,It's getting colder so I thought you could use this FERN heyyyy Variable RAPUNZEL okay not to put you on the spot but... EDA Potion time NEO Dude, I can mine antidote shit here! GLITCH Got this in my basket. EDA hey smart kid TEN Hallo ADAM Hey, k-- uh, Varian. I just wanted to check in USAGI I'm sorry I worried you and fainted on you yesterday. AMARA i lived, bitch NEO Debatably good news, asshole USAGI Hey Varian! It's Usagi OSCAR I'm sorry, Varian. Tell me what you need FERN a dark past huh MAUL Varian. I am in great need of your assistance FERN Varian VARIAN I CAN EAT FOOD USAGI How much moon essence do you have? USAGI VIVI-KUN, VIVI-KUN GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT! RICHIE well I promised FERN A TOTALLY INCOMPLETE LIST OF OOO WORDS 'N SLANG GLITCH VARIAN ARE THERE BUGS IN THE WATER?! USAGI To help with restless nights and the... VIRA-LORR Little alchemist. I have a gift for you. MARTIN Hi, Varian. This is Martin. I wanted to reach out... USAGI Hi Varian, sweetie! I have a question for you. GLITCH varian I need to talk to you. it's important. USAGI I need you not to panic after what I tell you. FERN dog you have so many vests IRONHIDE HONK HONK USAGI ... I'm sorry I couldn't help you better, Varian EMERALD Hey, V. Not that I care that much or anything... FERN tell me when you're alive FERN Varian i stabbed two people AMARA hey weirdo i have something for you FERN is the Rapunzel in town your Rapunzel? PENNY Salutations!! You do not know me, but my name is Penny Polendina YANG Hey, is this Varian? I think we've met once before. FERN hey can we talk FERN you told ruby MAUL Surviving another year is always an occasion worth celebrating USAGI Hey I wanted to apologise USAGI VARIAN-KUUUUNNN!!!! FERN birth MAUL Look what just arrived for me. KATHERINE Do you want to get paid to make more purple goo things? FERN ok i know you're good with plants but what about animals FERN dog interested in means girls or guys

TO: SUBJECT: USAGI So. Maul dropped by, he's got his memories back. ADAM I'm worried about Shiro FERN Hey handsome OSCAR You've been weirdly quiet lately FERN Guess what I haven't told you lately? USAGI Hey. I'm back from the dead and I feel like trash. FERN I made meatloaf that may or may not poison us! Emerald Hey. I know you probably don't want to talk to anyone right now... BELLA Hey Bella. You've dated someone who's a different species to you right? BILL Hi, Fern mentioned you were interested in interdimensional portals... FERN Aw, your pictures are nice! KURT Hey. Are you around? RICHIE Is it just me or is Eddie acting weirder than usual? QROW Hey. Checking up on you. EDA Hi Eda. Hope Ruddiger found you okay. GLITCH Hey. What happened between you and Maul? LUNA Luna- I uh... I think I need your help EDDIE So hey, I finally worked out how to replicate the Antidote OSCAR So, I noticed Ozpin has shown up. ROGUE Hey, I managed to replicate the Antidote KURT Hey. We're back. None of us are dead. QROW Uh... hey. How are you guys holding up? PETER You gave Ruby the haunted dolls GLITCH Hey, Bud. Sorry I tried to murder you with a robot KURT I'm probably the last person you want to talk to... JON I'm sorry I attacked you JON Stay away from Fern. FERN Hey you still haven't got me those baking ingredients FERN Okay so the Betties are upping their war... USAGI Hey. So. Update. NEO You tried to bury her alive? SERIOUSLY? USAGI Emotions are really difficult FERN OH MY GOD YOU HAVE ONE TOO FERN Okay this better be to Fern this time. WYNONNA So guess who got into the fridge and ate literally everything in there.

code by cawaii

Comments

text; un: fern | SOMETIME... whenever... deal w it

[laminae]

[Fern could probably walk down the stairs to Varian's lab, but why bother doing that when texting is so much easier?]

dog you have so many vests
why do you have so many vests
where did you even get them all

[Look, he might've gotten bored and started poking around closets for fun science weaponry okay.]

[droptheious]

[What is even happening right now.]

I think the more accurate question would be why you're going through my closets.

I like vests. There are these places that sell clothes. They're called


clothing stores.

Gasp. Wow.

[laminae]

i was looking for weapons or traps or whatever

[Fun stuff. He's bored!]

do you not keep that junk in closets?

pretty sure you own more vests than you can find in a clothing store dude

[He might be exaggerating. Just a little.]

[droptheious]

No, Fern. People keep clothes in closets. That's why they have places to hang clothes up in them.

I like vests!!! And you've got no place to talk, you have more weapons than you have limbs.

[laminae]

people keep other junk in closets!

hey it's just common sense to have a weapon for every occasion
as sick as swords are they don't always do the job
even i know you gotta adapt to the situation when it calls for it

do you need a vest for every occasion or something

[droptheious]

They're mostly for clothes though.

[And repressed feelings. Don't dig too deep in there, Fern.]

Okay, I'll give you that. We have a lot of bad things happen here and where a sword won't work a mace might.

I like to have clean clothes to change into. I do messy work and I don't want to spend all my time doing laundry.

[laminae]

so that's a no on the weapons i'm guessing

[Don't worry, he won't.]

or a crossbow

but you can do work in t-shirts and sweaters too you know
maybe not sweaters right now
but my point is you got options here beyond 'fancy'

[droptheious]

...Fern, have you put weapons in my closet?

I could, but I don't like future clothing. It's not comfortable. Nobody would dress like that back home. So I stick with what's familiar- of which there is very little here. In this town one hundred and thirty years into my future.

Do you not like the vests?

[laminae]

noooooooooooooo



t yet

oh
that makes sense, i guess

[He can't really rag on Varian for wanting to stick to something familiar around here, when the town is so different from what he's used to.

But oh Glob what kind of question is that. How is he supposed to answer that without sounding like a huge weirdo.]

uh
no
i don't know
they're fine if you like them

[droptheious]

Yet? You know, you can put them in the closet in your room. Or the spare room. Knock yourself out.

[Technically Fern's room is also a spare room, but no. Currently, it's Fern's room. And you start ragging on his vests, you gotta pay the price, Fern.]

I do like them. Despite the clothing critique.

[laminae]

[His room? That's, uh. That's something. That, and Varian letting him store weaponry here while he's crashing.

... Varian is probably just being oblivious, as usual.]

oh
seriously?

[It might be a good idea to have at least his crossbow on-hand, just in case something attacks and he can't cut it with his usual melee weaponry. So that's one not-awkward thing? Yay?]

ok then
then i like them too

[droptheious]

[Sadly, this is another moment of Varian being oblivious. He bearly uses his own room- it's just basic logic that the room Fern's sleeping in while he's here is Fern's room. No one else is using it. ]

Yeah, sure. Knock yourself out.

[Yay! And now Varian is going to be A Shit, because he feels like his fashion choices have been called into question. Besides, it's kind of nice to be able to have a tiny, tiny bit of fun after everything.]

Oh yeah? Which one is your favourite?

[laminae]

[He is going to try his hardest not to be weird about this. It's cool, just a nice thing Varian is doing for him that isn't a big deal.]

uh cool
thanks

[That... is certainly a question only a total jerk would ask. This is so unfair.]

the blue one

[Fern no there are at least three blue ones.]

[droptheious]

[He's going to be a jerk, and then look back on this afterwards and be embarrassed by it all. But that's after, right now:]

I have a lot of blue ones, you're going to have to be more specific.

:)

[This calls for a rarely used emote. To make it worse.]

[laminae]

[Fern is incredibly grateful he decided to text Varian instead of going down to his lab to tease him in person, because he's entire face is a very dark shade of green right now.]

the one with the gold bits around the collar
and the gold buttons

[Glob, he tugs his hat down to pluck out the flowers that have started blooming in his hair. This is ridiculous.]

[droptheious]

[He's not sorry. He rarely gets to troll anyone these days- it's usually a lot more fun with Eugene anyway, but once in a while, he cannot resist.]

That's a good choice. I like that one too. Your input has been noted.

[For what? Nothing, but Fern can believe what he wants. ]

[laminae]

[He has learned his lesson. If he's going to tease Varian about something, he needs to be much, much more prepared.]

uh
great
that's great

[No that isn't great what does that even mean.]

[droptheious]

[Don't bring a bucket of water to a snowball fight, Fern.]

Great. Glad that's settled. Shall I leave you to your closet filling?

[laminae]

[He won't next time.]

yes

[Weapons sound a very good distraction, thank you.]

yes you should

[droptheious]

Okay then, knock yourself out. I'm in the lab if you need me.

[Have fun, Fern :)]