Deerington inbox

[droptheious]

FROM: SUBJECT: FERN Ooo slang part the second FERN i think we just shared electrons, because i'm feeling a covalent bond between us LANCE Pidge, I need your help. I gotta send a meme to Chloe but ... DIPPER Hey Varian. You know those crazy alchemy bombs you used... PETER Hey Varian, this is Peter. Um, Peter Graham. USAGI Soooooooo~ How'd the date go? MAKO Varian— Checking in. SHIRO i think one of us put a chicken patty in my toaster EDDIE Hey. We need to talk. MELIUS 𝐻𝒾. 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒾𝓉 𝓁𝑜𝑜𝓀𝓈 𝓌𝑒𝒾𝓇𝒹 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓇𝓉 EDA Hey, kid. I... owe you an apology. LUZ Valentines MAUL I have a proposition for a project I think you'll be interested in USAGI I LOVE YOU FERN DUDE you still have your bandana! BUZZ Morning. I heard from Fern you wanted to go out into the blizzard. FERN dude your profile changed USAGI Ruby told me about the breakup. GLITCH Varian, I'm gonna go live somewhere else for now MAKO A "nerd" is somebody smart... MAUL Gifts FERN heeyyyy quick question FERN Christmas is coming up!!! CHLOE god who the FUCK ever thought emojis were a good idea??? KRISTOFF Varian,It's getting colder so I thought you could use this FERN heyyyy Variable RAPUNZEL okay not to put you on the spot but... EDA Potion time NEO Dude, I can mine antidote shit here! GLITCH Got this in my basket. EDA hey smart kid TEN Hallo ADAM Hey, k-- uh, Varian. I just wanted to check in USAGI I'm sorry I worried you and fainted on you yesterday. AMARA i lived, bitch NEO Debatably good news, asshole USAGI Hey Varian! It's Usagi OSCAR I'm sorry, Varian. Tell me what you need FERN a dark past huh MAUL Varian. I am in great need of your assistance FERN Varian VARIAN I CAN EAT FOOD USAGI How much moon essence do you have? USAGI VIVI-KUN, VIVI-KUN GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT! RICHIE well I promised FERN A TOTALLY INCOMPLETE LIST OF OOO WORDS 'N SLANG GLITCH VARIAN ARE THERE BUGS IN THE WATER?! USAGI To help with restless nights and the... VIRA-LORR Little alchemist. I have a gift for you. MARTIN Hi, Varian. This is Martin. I wanted to reach out... USAGI Hi Varian, sweetie! I have a question for you. GLITCH varian I need to talk to you. it's important. USAGI I need you not to panic after what I tell you. FERN dog you have so many vests IRONHIDE HONK HONK USAGI ... I'm sorry I couldn't help you better, Varian EMERALD Hey, V. Not that I care that much or anything... FERN tell me when you're alive FERN Varian i stabbed two people AMARA hey weirdo i have something for you FERN is the Rapunzel in town your Rapunzel? PENNY Salutations!! You do not know me, but my name is Penny Polendina YANG Hey, is this Varian? I think we've met once before. FERN hey can we talk FERN you told ruby MAUL Surviving another year is always an occasion worth celebrating USAGI Hey I wanted to apologise USAGI VARIAN-KUUUUNNN!!!! FERN birth MAUL Look what just arrived for me. KATHERINE Do you want to get paid to make more purple goo things? FERN ok i know you're good with plants but what about animals FERN dog interested in means girls or guys

TO: SUBJECT: USAGI So. Maul dropped by, he's got his memories back. ADAM I'm worried about Shiro FERN Hey handsome OSCAR You've been weirdly quiet lately FERN Guess what I haven't told you lately? USAGI Hey. I'm back from the dead and I feel like trash. FERN I made meatloaf that may or may not poison us! Emerald Hey. I know you probably don't want to talk to anyone right now... BELLA Hey Bella. You've dated someone who's a different species to you right? BILL Hi, Fern mentioned you were interested in interdimensional portals... FERN Aw, your pictures are nice! KURT Hey. Are you around? RICHIE Is it just me or is Eddie acting weirder than usual? QROW Hey. Checking up on you. EDA Hi Eda. Hope Ruddiger found you okay. GLITCH Hey. What happened between you and Maul? LUNA Luna- I uh... I think I need your help EDDIE So hey, I finally worked out how to replicate the Antidote OSCAR So, I noticed Ozpin has shown up. ROGUE Hey, I managed to replicate the Antidote KURT Hey. We're back. None of us are dead. QROW Uh... hey. How are you guys holding up? PETER You gave Ruby the haunted dolls GLITCH Hey, Bud. Sorry I tried to murder you with a robot KURT I'm probably the last person you want to talk to... JON I'm sorry I attacked you JON Stay away from Fern. FERN Hey you still haven't got me those baking ingredients FERN Okay so the Betties are upping their war... USAGI Hey. So. Update. NEO You tried to bury her alive? SERIOUSLY? USAGI Emotions are really difficult FERN OH MY GOD YOU HAVE ONE TOO FERN Okay this better be to Fern this time. WYNONNA So guess who got into the fridge and ate literally everything in there.

code by cawaii

Comments

text; un: fern

[laminae]

[One day Varian will be getting this in his inbox....]

A TOTALLY INCOMPLETE LIST OF OOO WORDS 'N SLANG
by fern

*********CURRENTLY IN PROGRESS*********

algebraic: cool or impressive. an alternative to mathematical
alphanumeric: cool or impressive. an alternative to mathematical
apples: diamonds
apple grease: an insult
ba-nay-nay: crazy. an alternative to bananas
bad biscuits: no good
bananas: crazy
banununununus: crazy. an alternative to bananas
bing bong ping pong: shock
binklemeyer: a thing in a treasure horde
bizonkers: crazy
bjork: a swear
blee-blob: a swear
bleeble: a swear
bloobalooby: good or fun
blooby: good or fun
boingloings: you know like guy stuff
bookoo spookoo/beaucoup spookoo: strange, spooky, weird, scary
boom-boom: poop
bunk: lame
buns: butt
butt guy: jerk
butterslaps: what ne'er do wells call rock knockers

text: un: trienemybest

[droptheious]

Oh my god you actually did it.

I feel like I should be smug about how COOL math apparently is. I mean, those first ones are al takes on math terms.

Maybe this means...


Math is cool?

Wow!

[laminae]

wow you're really going for it huh
it could mean that the word math is just losing its meaning
you ever think of that

you're welcome by the way
there's a ton more so i'll keep on sending these

[droptheious]

Nope I did not think of that because I know that it's a fundamental fact that math is super cool and you just don't realise it. How tragic.

Thanks, Fern. This is actually a pretty interesting read.

Can I ask for clarification on what "guy stuff" is? That feels like it could cover a wide range.

[laminae]

what’s tragic is how wrong you are, dude
you really gotta face facts one day and admit math is boring

no problem it was kind of fun

uh like balls

[droptheious]

Or you can accept your wrongness about this. Math is cool. Super cool.



Oh.

That sort of guy stuff.

[laminae]

i am never going to do that and you can never make me

yeppp any other questions i can answer as awkward as humanly possible?

[droptheious]

One day you will see the light. And I'm going to point out this conversation so you can see that you were incorrect about math.

Nope.

No, thank you I am super done asking awkward questions.

[laminae]

nooo way dude
i should be the one saying all that
one day you're gonna see math isn't the be all end all
it'll be an incredibly disappointing day for you but you don't have to worry because i'll be there





to tell you i told you so :)

great cool

[droptheious]

Math isn't the be-all and end-all. That's science. But math is STILL cool.

It will be a disappointing day for you. When you admit you were wrong. And you will. And I will be the one to add to my pile of I Told You Sos.

I'll even have confetti. Just for the occasion :)

[laminae]

whoops sorry, it's the second most be-all end-all, behind science

wow confetti huh
that's awfully confident of you
aren't you afraid of getting all worked up only to have your hopes totally dashed?

[droptheious]

Thank you for the correction.

I'm confident because I know it will be the case. My hopes won't be dashed because I'm right and you're wrong. It's just how it is, I don't make the rules of the universe, Fern.

But that's okay, you can be in denial if you want.

[laminae]

dang dude you've shot straight over confident and into overconfident
it's going to make you being wrong all that more fun for me
but it'll be pretty rough for you
so i'm feeling kind of torn right now

[droptheious]

Maybe YOU'RE the overconfident one. Did you ever consider that? Because I can tell you right now that you are.

I'll be merciful in my I Told You Sos when I'm proven right. I'll only mock you the tiniest little bit. For maybe a week.

Week and a half tops.

[laminae]

since when have i ever been overconfident about anything?

[Can't be overconfident if you have no self esteem, take that.]

wow a week and a half
so generous

[droptheious]

There's a first time for everything.

[No. Take THAT.]

I can make it less you know.

[laminae]

what, in this lifetime? doesn't seem likely

yeah i'm guessing you'd want to make a deal or something to do that

[droptheious]

You never know, Fern. You never know. I have faith in you.

I mean, if you WANT to make a deal, we can make a deal.

[laminae]

feels like a cop out when you say that
how am i supposed to argue with that

seems like a good time to make a bet
whoever wins gets a week of i told you sos

[droptheious]

You aren't. You just have to concede defeat and allow me to be right.

Sounds fair to me. Prepare to lose horribly.

[laminae]

wow i'm not going that far

ok fine you've got a bet dude
you're going dooooowwwwn

[droptheious]

You'll see.

Nope. I'm pretty sure of my victory on this one. But I'll let you protect for now.

[laminae]

it's going to be a lot of fun knocking you down a peg

[droptheious]

There IS such a thing as over-confidence, you know.

[laminae]

well, you'd definitely know what having that's like