Deerington inbox

[droptheious]

FROM: SUBJECT: FERN Ooo slang part the second FERN i think we just shared electrons, because i'm feeling a covalent bond between us LANCE Pidge, I need your help. I gotta send a meme to Chloe but ... DIPPER Hey Varian. You know those crazy alchemy bombs you used... PETER Hey Varian, this is Peter. Um, Peter Graham. USAGI Soooooooo~ How'd the date go? MAKO Varian— Checking in. SHIRO i think one of us put a chicken patty in my toaster EDDIE Hey. We need to talk. MELIUS 𝐻𝒾. 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒾𝓉 𝓁𝑜𝑜𝓀𝓈 𝓌𝑒𝒾𝓇𝒹 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓇𝓉 EDA Hey, kid. I... owe you an apology. LUZ Valentines MAUL I have a proposition for a project I think you'll be interested in USAGI I LOVE YOU FERN DUDE you still have your bandana! BUZZ Morning. I heard from Fern you wanted to go out into the blizzard. FERN dude your profile changed USAGI Ruby told me about the breakup. GLITCH Varian, I'm gonna go live somewhere else for now MAKO A "nerd" is somebody smart... MAUL Gifts FERN heeyyyy quick question FERN Christmas is coming up!!! CHLOE god who the FUCK ever thought emojis were a good idea??? KRISTOFF Varian,It's getting colder so I thought you could use this FERN heyyyy Variable RAPUNZEL okay not to put you on the spot but... EDA Potion time NEO Dude, I can mine antidote shit here! GLITCH Got this in my basket. EDA hey smart kid TEN Hallo ADAM Hey, k-- uh, Varian. I just wanted to check in USAGI I'm sorry I worried you and fainted on you yesterday. AMARA i lived, bitch NEO Debatably good news, asshole USAGI Hey Varian! It's Usagi OSCAR I'm sorry, Varian. Tell me what you need FERN a dark past huh MAUL Varian. I am in great need of your assistance FERN Varian VARIAN I CAN EAT FOOD USAGI How much moon essence do you have? USAGI VIVI-KUN, VIVI-KUN GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT! RICHIE well I promised FERN A TOTALLY INCOMPLETE LIST OF OOO WORDS 'N SLANG GLITCH VARIAN ARE THERE BUGS IN THE WATER?! USAGI To help with restless nights and the... VIRA-LORR Little alchemist. I have a gift for you. MARTIN Hi, Varian. This is Martin. I wanted to reach out... USAGI Hi Varian, sweetie! I have a question for you. GLITCH varian I need to talk to you. it's important. USAGI I need you not to panic after what I tell you. FERN dog you have so many vests IRONHIDE HONK HONK USAGI ... I'm sorry I couldn't help you better, Varian EMERALD Hey, V. Not that I care that much or anything... FERN tell me when you're alive FERN Varian i stabbed two people AMARA hey weirdo i have something for you FERN is the Rapunzel in town your Rapunzel? PENNY Salutations!! You do not know me, but my name is Penny Polendina YANG Hey, is this Varian? I think we've met once before. FERN hey can we talk FERN you told ruby MAUL Surviving another year is always an occasion worth celebrating USAGI Hey I wanted to apologise USAGI VARIAN-KUUUUNNN!!!! FERN birth MAUL Look what just arrived for me. KATHERINE Do you want to get paid to make more purple goo things? FERN ok i know you're good with plants but what about animals FERN dog interested in means girls or guys

TO: SUBJECT: USAGI So. Maul dropped by, he's got his memories back. ADAM I'm worried about Shiro FERN Hey handsome OSCAR You've been weirdly quiet lately FERN Guess what I haven't told you lately? USAGI Hey. I'm back from the dead and I feel like trash. FERN I made meatloaf that may or may not poison us! Emerald Hey. I know you probably don't want to talk to anyone right now... BELLA Hey Bella. You've dated someone who's a different species to you right? BILL Hi, Fern mentioned you were interested in interdimensional portals... FERN Aw, your pictures are nice! KURT Hey. Are you around? RICHIE Is it just me or is Eddie acting weirder than usual? QROW Hey. Checking up on you. EDA Hi Eda. Hope Ruddiger found you okay. GLITCH Hey. What happened between you and Maul? LUNA Luna- I uh... I think I need your help EDDIE So hey, I finally worked out how to replicate the Antidote OSCAR So, I noticed Ozpin has shown up. ROGUE Hey, I managed to replicate the Antidote KURT Hey. We're back. None of us are dead. QROW Uh... hey. How are you guys holding up? PETER You gave Ruby the haunted dolls GLITCH Hey, Bud. Sorry I tried to murder you with a robot KURT I'm probably the last person you want to talk to... JON I'm sorry I attacked you JON Stay away from Fern. FERN Hey you still haven't got me those baking ingredients FERN Okay so the Betties are upping their war... USAGI Hey. So. Update. NEO You tried to bury her alive? SERIOUSLY? USAGI Emotions are really difficult FERN OH MY GOD YOU HAVE ONE TOO FERN Okay this better be to Fern this time. WYNONNA So guess who got into the fridge and ate literally everything in there.

code by cawaii

Comments

[droptheious]

[Who knew all it will take are CRIMES.]

I have noticed that. And to be fair us being a... thing is still a relatively recent development.

[But also, yeah, good work, Ruby. He's genuinely impressed.]

Little bit. I mean, I don't blame you. You're looking out for your sister. I get it.

[If Rapunzel wasn't from... well, the point of time she was, she'd probably be doing the same thing. Probably by feeding Ruby an excessive amount of sugar but still.]

How long have you been here? It sounds longer than Ruby.

[thepunshow]

Well, she is the only little sister I have. Thanks for understanding. I now, officially, owe you one.

[ ruby plus excessive sugar is a bad combination. thank goodness rapunzel isn't squeezing her for more information. deerington would never recover. ]

We got here at the same time, actually! We both showed up on the Titanic in January, although our memories were all messed up then. Crazy to think it's already been that long.

[droptheious]

Don't mention it. Family's important.

[Deerington would just be a crater in the ground. Tragic.]

Oh wow, that's good at least! That both of you were together. From the sounds of it, that Titanic mess wasn't a good time. Ruby mentioned something called Godzilla, which I've ascertained is some kind of giant dinosaur?

[thepunshow]

Yeah, it was huge. It was even taller than the Titanic and it had to be a couple of stories tall.
I didn't fight it, but Ruby and our super cool friend Amara did!

Actually, you should watch out for Amara once she learns about you.

Anyway, there were these shark-octopus monsters, too. Tons of them showed up right before Godzilla wrecked the boat.
Then the ship started sinking and.... It all ended in a big mess.

[droptheious]

I read up on that after Ruby told me about it. Big ship. It sounds like a real tragedy what happened to it. Will happen to it? Time is weird for me.

[Most people's pasts are his future and it gives him a headache. He snorts at the comment.]

Too late on that one. She comes to my house a lot to feed me. I think she's afraid I'll starve to death or something.

Wait. Shark-octopus? How do they even... Is it like a shark head with octopus tentacles? Or... an octopus head with... shark fins?

[thepunshow]

If Amara already likes you then you're set. Hey, wait, are you not eating enough? 'cause me or Ruby can bring over anything if you need it.

Yeah, shark-octopuses! They had huge shark bodies with tentacles attached. Really gross and aggressive. It looked just like a Grimm except it was too fleshy.

[droptheious]

[Oh no, not Yang too.]

I'm fine. I just forget to eat a lot, busy with my work and all. I use the Doorstop Pizza a lot though, that thing's a lifesaver. Super convenient.

[Look, Yang, look. He doesn't know Ruby's been sending him pizza on a nearly daily basis. He just finds pizza on his doorstep sometimes and assumes it's a future thing.]

Well. That sounds like a masterpiece of horror. And yet I've been here long enough now to just accept that's a regular Deerington Thing. Except... on a boat.

[thepunshow]

[ yes, yang, too. be prepared to have lots of macaroni and cheese sent to your house. ]

At least you have--Doorstop Pizza?
What the heck's Doorstop Pizza?

At least they haven't followed us into Deerington? ...as far as we know.
Let's just say they haven't so we don't have to think about them anymore.

[droptheious]

[And lo, Varian will never starve.]

You know. When they deliver pizza and leave it on your doorstop without you even ordering any? Doorstop Pizza.

That's a really good thing. I mean, they probably need large bodies of saltwater, so we're probably okay. But that's a pretty big probably because this place is legitimately insane.