Deerington inbox

[droptheious]

FROM: SUBJECT: FERN Ooo slang part the second FERN i think we just shared electrons, because i'm feeling a covalent bond between us LANCE Pidge, I need your help. I gotta send a meme to Chloe but ... DIPPER Hey Varian. You know those crazy alchemy bombs you used... PETER Hey Varian, this is Peter. Um, Peter Graham. USAGI Soooooooo~ How'd the date go? MAKO Varian— Checking in. SHIRO i think one of us put a chicken patty in my toaster EDDIE Hey. We need to talk. MELIUS 𝐻𝒾. 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒾𝓉 𝓁𝑜𝑜𝓀𝓈 𝓌𝑒𝒾𝓇𝒹 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓇𝓉 EDA Hey, kid. I... owe you an apology. LUZ Valentines MAUL I have a proposition for a project I think you'll be interested in USAGI I LOVE YOU FERN DUDE you still have your bandana! BUZZ Morning. I heard from Fern you wanted to go out into the blizzard. FERN dude your profile changed USAGI Ruby told me about the breakup. GLITCH Varian, I'm gonna go live somewhere else for now MAKO A "nerd" is somebody smart... MAUL Gifts FERN heeyyyy quick question FERN Christmas is coming up!!! CHLOE god who the FUCK ever thought emojis were a good idea??? KRISTOFF Varian,It's getting colder so I thought you could use this FERN heyyyy Variable RAPUNZEL okay not to put you on the spot but... EDA Potion time NEO Dude, I can mine antidote shit here! GLITCH Got this in my basket. EDA hey smart kid TEN Hallo ADAM Hey, k-- uh, Varian. I just wanted to check in USAGI I'm sorry I worried you and fainted on you yesterday. AMARA i lived, bitch NEO Debatably good news, asshole USAGI Hey Varian! It's Usagi OSCAR I'm sorry, Varian. Tell me what you need FERN a dark past huh MAUL Varian. I am in great need of your assistance FERN Varian VARIAN I CAN EAT FOOD USAGI How much moon essence do you have? USAGI VIVI-KUN, VIVI-KUN GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT! RICHIE well I promised FERN A TOTALLY INCOMPLETE LIST OF OOO WORDS 'N SLANG GLITCH VARIAN ARE THERE BUGS IN THE WATER?! USAGI To help with restless nights and the... VIRA-LORR Little alchemist. I have a gift for you. MARTIN Hi, Varian. This is Martin. I wanted to reach out... USAGI Hi Varian, sweetie! I have a question for you. GLITCH varian I need to talk to you. it's important. USAGI I need you not to panic after what I tell you. FERN dog you have so many vests IRONHIDE HONK HONK USAGI ... I'm sorry I couldn't help you better, Varian EMERALD Hey, V. Not that I care that much or anything... FERN tell me when you're alive FERN Varian i stabbed two people AMARA hey weirdo i have something for you FERN is the Rapunzel in town your Rapunzel? PENNY Salutations!! You do not know me, but my name is Penny Polendina YANG Hey, is this Varian? I think we've met once before. FERN hey can we talk FERN you told ruby MAUL Surviving another year is always an occasion worth celebrating USAGI Hey I wanted to apologise USAGI VARIAN-KUUUUNNN!!!! FERN birth MAUL Look what just arrived for me. KATHERINE Do you want to get paid to make more purple goo things? FERN ok i know you're good with plants but what about animals FERN dog interested in means girls or guys

TO: SUBJECT: USAGI So. Maul dropped by, he's got his memories back. ADAM I'm worried about Shiro FERN Hey handsome OSCAR You've been weirdly quiet lately FERN Guess what I haven't told you lately? USAGI Hey. I'm back from the dead and I feel like trash. FERN I made meatloaf that may or may not poison us! Emerald Hey. I know you probably don't want to talk to anyone right now... BELLA Hey Bella. You've dated someone who's a different species to you right? BILL Hi, Fern mentioned you were interested in interdimensional portals... FERN Aw, your pictures are nice! KURT Hey. Are you around? RICHIE Is it just me or is Eddie acting weirder than usual? QROW Hey. Checking up on you. EDA Hi Eda. Hope Ruddiger found you okay. GLITCH Hey. What happened between you and Maul? LUNA Luna- I uh... I think I need your help EDDIE So hey, I finally worked out how to replicate the Antidote OSCAR So, I noticed Ozpin has shown up. ROGUE Hey, I managed to replicate the Antidote KURT Hey. We're back. None of us are dead. QROW Uh... hey. How are you guys holding up? PETER You gave Ruby the haunted dolls GLITCH Hey, Bud. Sorry I tried to murder you with a robot KURT I'm probably the last person you want to talk to... JON I'm sorry I attacked you JON Stay away from Fern. FERN Hey you still haven't got me those baking ingredients FERN Okay so the Betties are upping their war... USAGI Hey. So. Update. NEO You tried to bury her alive? SERIOUSLY? USAGI Emotions are really difficult FERN OH MY GOD YOU HAVE ONE TOO FERN Okay this better be to Fern this time. WYNONNA So guess who got into the fridge and ate literally everything in there.

code by cawaii

Comments

[droptheious]

...Yeah, murder's a little extreme a reaction for that one, buddy.

[laminae]

It's not like I wound up killing him. I got a punch in, that was good enough.

[droptheious]

...Okay, fair. The punching in that scenario is fine.

[laminae]

Thanks for your approval.

[Look! He can do sarcasm too, sometimes!]

[droptheious]

[Sometimes it's really hard to tell if Fern is being sarcastic or not. He's just going to roll with it being sarcasm and hope for the best.]

You're welcome! It comes highly rated.

[laminae]

[Oh Glob he is just rolling his eyes at that.]

In that case I'll treasure it forever.

[droptheious]

As well you should, Fern, as well you should!

[laminae]

[He makes an irritated noise, then holds his hand out for the book back.]

Anyone who doesn't is an idiot.

[droptheious]

[If it had been anyone other than Fern, there's a small chance he would have run off with the book. But (albeit reluctantly) Varian hands it back over. He didn't steal a powerful, magical artefact, be proud of him Rapunzel.]

No arguments there.

[laminae]

[He stuffs the book into his backpack.]

I'll let you know if I can get a hold of one of the gems for this thing. It should help explain the whole multiverse portal thing.

[droptheious]

Please do! I'll see if I can find anything at all in the library I can use. There has to be some books on portals to other dimensions there. There's books for just about everything else, after all.

[laminae]

Sure. We can reconvene later.

[He hesitates, then decides screw it, he might as well just say it.]

Uh - thanks. For this. I feel a lot better.

[droptheious]

[Varian offers him a smile- small, but very much genuine. There's worry in his expression, but it's for Fern, rather than because of Fern.]

Don't mention it. I'm always willing to listen if you need to talk. Or not talk, as the case may be sometimes. I get not wanting to be alone when things are... a lot.

[laminae]

Y... yeah. [He's cheered up, but being alone doesn't feel like a great idea.]

You, um. Want to work on that robot together?

[Robot engineering sounds nice.]

[droptheious]

Sure thing, Bud. You sure you're okay with the spider? We can work on something else.

[laminae]

If you've got something other than a spider, that'd be great.

[droptheious]

Sure! I've been working on this rolling ball that can dispense sleeping gas!

[A pause, as he realises this, once again, makes him sound like a serial killer.]

...You know. For burglars.

[laminae]

['Burglars.' This being Varian, Fern can't tell if he's actually building them to take care of burglars, or. You know, this is old villain habits.

Not that it matters to Fern, though.]

Sounds cool. How big are you making it?

[Robots are robots, and robots are cool.]

[droptheious]

[Probably a little of both, if he were honest. Which he isn't being.]

Only about the size of a football. It needs to be big enough to carry the chemicals I need it to, but small enough that it can manoeuvre around easily.

[laminae]

Geez, that's small. You've gotta shove a lot of tech in there for it to work, right? For it to roll and not run into stuff.

[droptheious]

I do, but I think I can make the tech small enough. If I can figure out how to get the centrifugal force to work, I can probably do that pretty easily. It's making sure the gas canisters don't release too soon that's the tricky part.

[laminae]

Like a timer? Or sensors, I think NEPTR has sensors to make sure his pies don't burn.

[droptheious]

Something like that, yes. A sensor would be ideal, then I could programme it to only release when something is near instead of just wasting gas. Oh, so he used them to gauge temperature? Within the pies? That's clever.

[laminae]

He's made out of a microwave, so whatever sensors those things have. Just amped up 'cause he's sentient and junk, so he's a lot smarter about it than a regular microwave.

[droptheious]

OH! I understand now. I took my microwave apart, so I have a pretty good understanding of how they work. You know, that's not a bad idea. That might work.