 "un/finished") |
FERN |
Ooo slang part the second |
|
FERN |
i think we just shared electrons, because i'm feeling a covalent bond between us |
|
LANCE |
Pidge, I need your help. I gotta send a meme to Chloe but ... |
|
DIPPER |
Hey Varian. You know those crazy alchemy bombs you used... |
|
PETER |
Hey Varian, this is Peter. Um, Peter Graham. |
|
USAGI |
Soooooooo~ How'd the date go? |
|
MAKO |
Varianβ Checking in. |
|
SHIRO |
i think one of us put a chicken patty in my toaster |
|
EDDIE |
Hey. We need to talk. |
|
MELIUS |
π»πΎ. πΌ ππππ πΎπ πππππ πππΎππΉ πΆππΉ πΎπ πΎπ πππ ππ½πππ |
|
EDA |
Hey, kid. I... owe you an apology. |
|
LUZ |
Valentines |
|
MAUL |
I have a proposition for a project I think you'll be interested in |
|
USAGI |
I LOVE YOU |
|
FERN |
DUDE you still have your bandana! |
|
BUZZ |
Morning. I heard from Fern you wanted to go out into the blizzard. |
|
FERN |
dude your profile changed |
|
USAGI |
Ruby told me about the breakup. |
|
GLITCH |
Varian, I'm gonna go live somewhere else for now |
|
MAKO |
A "nerd" is somebody smart... |
|
MAUL |
Gifts |
|
FERN |
heeyyyy quick question |
|
FERN |
Christmas is coming up!!! |
|
CHLOE |
god who the FUCK ever thought emojis were a good idea??? |
|
KRISTOFF |
Varian,It's getting colder so I thought you could use this |
|
FERN |
heyyyy Variable |
|
RAPUNZEL |
okay not to put you on the spot but... |
|
EDA |
Potion time |
|
NEO |
Dude, I can mine antidote shit here! |
|
GLITCH |
Got this in my basket. |
|
EDA |
hey smart kid |
|
TEN |
Hallo |
|
ADAM |
Hey, k-- uh, Varian. I just wanted to check in |
|
USAGI |
I'm sorry I worried you and fainted on you yesterday. |
|
AMARA |
i lived, bitch |
|
NEO |
Debatably good news, asshole |
|
USAGI |
Hey Varian! It's Usagi |
|
OSCAR |
I'm sorry, Varian. Tell me what you need |
|
FERN |
a dark past huh |
|
MAUL |
Varian. I am in great need of your assistance |
|
FERN |
Varian VARIAN I CAN EAT FOOD |
|
USAGI |
How much moon essence do you have? |
|
USAGI |
VIVI-KUN, VIVI-KUN GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT! |
|
RICHIE |
well I promised |
|
FERN |
A TOTALLY INCOMPLETE LIST OF OOO WORDS 'N SLANG |
|
GLITCH |
VARIAN ARE THERE BUGS IN THE WATER?!
|
|
USAGI |
To help with restless nights and the... |
|
VIRA-LORR |
Little alchemist. I have a gift for you. |
|
MARTIN |
Hi, Varian. This is Martin. I wanted to reach out... |
|
USAGI |
Hi Varian, sweetie! I have a question for you. |
|
GLITCH |
varian I need to talk to you. it's important. |
|
USAGI |
I need you not to panic after what I tell you. |
|
FERN |
dog you have so many vests |
|
IRONHIDE |
HONK HONK |
|
USAGI |
... I'm sorry I couldn't help you better, Varian |
|
EMERALD |
Hey, V. Not that I care that much or anything... |
|
FERN |
tell me when you're alive |
|
FERN |
Varian i stabbed two people |
|
AMARA |
hey weirdo i have something for you
|
|
FERN |
is the Rapunzel in town your Rapunzel? |
|
PENNY |
Salutations!! You do not know me, but my name is Penny Polendina |
|
YANG |
Hey, is this Varian? I think we've met once before. |
|
FERN |
hey can we talk |
|
FERN |
you told ruby |
|
MAUL |
Surviving another year is always an occasion worth celebrating |
|
USAGI |
Hey I wanted to apologise |
|
USAGI |
VARIAN-KUUUUNNN!!!! |
|
FERN |
birth |
|
MAUL |
Look what just arrived for me. |
|
KATHERINE |
Do you want to get paid to make more purple goo things? |
|
FERN |
ok i know you're good with plants but what about animals |
|
FERN |
dog interested in means girls or guys |
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
droptheious) wrote2020-03-11 08:22 am
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
cawaii
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She hears the bark and her eyes go wide. She does her best to sound concerned and reassuring but hearing her pup in good spirits always warmed her heart a little.]
Just hold on, Zwei! I'mma coming.
[She arrives at the stairs and the smoke makes it hard to see just where any traps might be set up. She doesn't doubt that there are traps though. She doesn't really have any other options so she makes a leap down the stairs and gives Crescent Rose another shot to propel her right down. She throws her feet in front of her in preparation for a rough landing.
Because jumping right into the middle of all this is clearly the best idea, right?]
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There are plenty of bubble bombs, all of which drop down, exploding on the stairs and leaving a trail of bubbles in their wake. At least she missed those, as they float on upwards and cluster on the ceiling- it's gonna take forever to get them down.
Now, some people might think a trapdoor might be an excessive boobytrap to have in their house, but Varian isn't most people. There's a clunk under Ruby's feet as the floor gives way and... yeah he legit just dug further under his house to make a trapdoor because that's the industrious person he is.
At least this one doesn't lead to a creepy catacomb filled with a horrific Apathy. It does have more sticky trap in there though, so she might want to avoid that. There's a tiny, sticky-free ledge, for her to escape to if she wants. Because Varian's a good sport.
Varian himself is chilling on the other side of the basement. Honestly, he could have pulled a good villain look off if he wasn't busy petting Zwei and telling him he was the best boy. That kind of scuppers the old image of the kid who drove fear in the hearts of Corona. When he realises Ruby is you know, in the room, he does at least attempt to salvage some dignity again. He moves to sit down, Zwei hopping onto his lap so he can pet the corgi like the worst bond villain ever. ]
We meet again, Ruby Rose.
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She doesn't have any time to celebrate avoiding the bubbles because the ground quite literally falls out from under her feet. She's really thankful there are no Apathy waiting down there because that is something she never wants to see again in her life. No thank you.
She manages to hook Crescent Rose on the outside of the trap and plant her feet on the led to avoid landing in the sticky trap. The ends of her cloak aren't as lucky and she feels a tug as she tries to pull herself up. She sighs and pulls it over her head and let's it fall gently into more goo. Another victim to Varian's heinous crimes that she would have to avenge.
She pulls herself up out of the trap and just stands there grinning like a dork as Varian gives Zwei the love he deserves. Once the scene is set back up she'll narrow her eyes into a glare and point a finger his way.]
For the last time, or at least until the next for the last time, Varian.
[She takes a step forward for dramatic effect.]
This doesn't have to end in anyone getting hurt. Release my precious pup and you can still walk out of this.
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Okay, he's actually a little sad about the cloak. He likes the cloak. Still, sacrifices have to be made in the path of darkness and that's just one of them that's fallen this day. Farewell, adorable cloak. ]
Oh-ho! Brave words from someone not holding the prisoner.
[Zwei barks happily. Clearly, he is suffering greatly here. ]
I believe I still have the upper hand!
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He does have a point and despite all her heroic posturing she knew it was true. It's why she hadn't made a direct move on him.]
I'd never stoop to such a level. You can ask Ruddiger, he's upstairs chewing on apple cores.
[He adjusts her grip on Crescent Rose taking a slight step forward.]
It doesn't matter what you throw at me, I'll pull through.
But what's it going to take for you to stop this madness?
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Ruddiger! My greatest henchman, I'm betrayed.
[Ruddiger doesn't give a frosty shit. He's staying upstairs, ignoring all this.
Also, shit. He didn't think of any terms because he'd honestly just been having a good time setting off all his booby traps on her. ]
Uhh.
[Give him a second, he's thinking.]
I- definately have terms which I for sure had prepared in advance.
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[She snorts. Then smiles. It was pretty clear he didn't have any terms set up. She'll prop up Crescent Rose and just leans against it for now.]
Do you need me to give you a minute? Are they written down somewhere? I can grab them if you need me to.
[She glances around looking to try and see if she can make out any final traps between her and Varian.]
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[Okay this is embarrassing. He raises a finger into the air.]
NO! No- I've- I've got it. Good terms, too. Really dastardly ones.
[There aren't any final traps. Because he's not about to fire any right at her face. ]
I demand a great sacrifice for you! [yeah he is absolutely winging it] Um. [Shit. Why doesn't he ever think anything through?] A... plate of your favourite cookies?
[Wow. Fucking flawless.]
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[Just leans a bit heavier against the scythe. She looks down at the clock on her fluid and just smiles.]
Okay. okay. I believe you.
[She doesn't believe him but it's freakin' adorable.
She's got a semblance, she wouldn't be afraid. But they're actually down in his lab now and things are more volatile there and it makes sense.
Oh wait- they're starting again.
She stares a little deadpan at the sacrifice she definitely didn't bring any cookies with her because they're winging it at this point.]
Really? Like right now? Because I didn't bring any wi-
[She stops herself because that's breaking character. Instead she steps back, clearly aghast at this steep offering he was demanding.]
-I mean-You fiend! Where am I supposed to get such delicious treats on such short notice?
Not to mention the personal cost! It cuts deep, villain
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This is ridiculous and he knows it, but that's the best part. He gives a shrug, slipping back into an act that once upon a time genuinely wasn't one, patting Zwei idly.]
That's for you to be concerned about. Until then, the dog is mine.
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How could someone make her choose between two of the greatest loves in her life.]
You're a monster, Varian. A monster.
Fine... You'll get your cookies.
Just don't be too rough on Zwei while I'm gone.
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An acurate estimation, Ruby.
[He sits back, giving an idle, dismissive wave of his hand.]
I make no promises. My mercy only lasts so long, I'll have you know.
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You'll get what you're after, Varian. Then you'll get what you deserve.
[Which will probably be a round of applause for his job at this, because wow. She hasn't had this much fun in awhile.]
Then I guess I don't have a moment to lose.
[She rises back up to her feet and turns around. She doesn't start to move and instead turns to look back and give Zwei one more thoughtful look.
Then it's her turn to improvise. She could go and just get some cookies and come back but that means game over for now and that's no fun.
She turns her attention back to Varian.]
I assume you'll be accompanying me personally. Or at least sending your trusted minion. Y'know. So I don't get up to any funny business while I'm gone?
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Brave words! I think you might be getting a little ahead of yourself.
[Him too, honestly. It's probably the most fun he's had since... well, a good long while. He considers her question, before heaving out a sigh, standing. Zwei hops off and happily trots along.]
Yeah, he's not being trusted to do anything ever again. [You had ONE JOB, Ruddiger. ] So, I guess I'll accompany you. To make sure it's all done right and you don't stab me in the back.
no subject
The day isn't through yet.
[Just two dorks having a good time. It's a great day.]
It's so hard to find good help these days.
[She raises her hands in mock surrender. Definitely not doing any backstabbing here. That's not the heroic way after all.]
Smart move, Diabolical Mastermind. But don't you worry, I wouldn't dream of betraying you while you have your hostage. It would be foolish to try to something so rash and heroic.
no subject
I really need to fire him, but he'll just keep coming back anyway.
[He's joking, he'd never fire Ruddiger, he's the best trash panda. He lets out a smug little hum.]
It really would be deeply foolish. After all, I still clearly have the upper hand. You wouldn't want anything... unfortunate to happen to your precious pup after all.
[Unfortunate like an ear scritch!! ]
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You've gotta admire that dedication at least.
[He's a good trash panda.
She just gives him a look filled with dread at that hum.]
Of course, perish the thought. I'd wouldn't know what to do if something happened to him!
[That is until Varian falls into step with her and she suddenly moves to try and get him in a headlock. He's going to get such a hair ruffling. All while she just cackles and laughs over how fun this whole set up was.]
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[And also love. That too. Varian was not expecting the sneak attack and frankly Ruby is vasty a better combatant than his skinny short ass. He lets out a muffled "braglwa!" as suddenly he is noogied into defeat.
So cruel. To be defeated so young. So tragic.
Still, he does let out a proper laugh at this- probably more so than he has for a good long while, trying to fight her off with infective arm-flailing. ]
Okay, okay! Uncle uncle!! You win!
no subject
Ahaha, I did it~!
[She doesn't let it overstay it's welcome and eventually let's go and instead takes hold of him by the shoulders. He gets an excited shake.]
Oh my gosh, Varian! That was amazing, Those traps were so cool! You really outdid yourself on this!
no subject
A-thank-you. I do my best. How'd you find the spider? Were there any weak spots I should work on?
[He's stupidly proud of his creepy ass spider ok.]
You're basically the perfect test subject for this, 'cause you're one heck of a fighter! You're incredible! [Uh. His brain catches up with his mouth and he clears his throat awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.] A-at fighting. Incredible at fighting.
no subject
Why did you not mention you had a cool spider bot before? That thing was awesome! The only thing I can really say about that is if it's meant for ambushing you might want to lose the music box tune. It's creepy and cool but it kind of gives away it's location. If it were already set up and ready to ambush it might have got me then and there. The fact it had to move with the music playing didn't really help it.
What's your goal for the spider? We can probably brainstorm some ideas from there.
[It's okay. She loved the spider too. She wants it to succeed in it's next life.]
Perfect test subject? More like the best training field I could ask for. I haven't had a work out like that in awhile. I mean actual threats to my life aside. This was great!
[Watch as the point once again floats over her head as he fumbles with his words.]
Well, yeah? I'm a Huntress, what else would I be incredible at?
no subject
[Because he's weird. He's so weird.]
At the moment, it's just something that can move around where my other booby traps can't. Makes for a better means of protecting the place.
[He's so relieved, he's going to pretend that awkward moment never happened. There it goes, being swept under the rug.]
Well, I can do more of that at least! It's no Grimm attack, but at least I can help keeping you fighting fit for when the actual death-bringing monsters show up. [He lets out an awkward chuckle.] Y-yeah. That's fair. You're perfect for the job. Of fighting. Yup.
no subject
Well it's a cool gizmo. Not quite as advanced as what we have back where I'm from but I think with some fine tuning it could be more effective.
[Because Paladins are like the least effective robots ever.
YEAH MOVING ON. They have gizmos to talk about.]
There is a place for creepy music. So I'm not going to say get rid of it of it. But a walking booby trap is going to raise attention to itself if it's playing music. What you might need to do is pump some more music in through a few speakers set up. That might mess with your opponent and give the spider a chance to move a bit more freely.
[Congrats Varian. That's like being proud of waving a sign in front of a blind person and not getting caught.]
Hey. I appreciate it. Any training that isn't trial by fire is good in my books. We might need to find a bigger venue for next time.
I am kind of a pro at it.
no subject
[God, if he could bring even a fraction of the tech here in Deerington back home, he could do all sorts of things for the people. He could revolutionalise their lives. In a GOOD way.
Still, this is good, this is a good idea, he rubs his chin in thought.]
Yeah, yeah, I can work with that! It could really disorientate someone, they might not know where the sound is coming from and then suddenly- bam! Robot spider.
[Helping the morally questionable alchemist make his home dealy sure is a way to spend an afternoon, Ruby. And he'll take it, thank you.]
Yeaaaah, I don't think my house can stand another round. Maybe there's a deserted building outside of town we can use?
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[She folds her arms and gives a smile. Glad he appreciates her idea.]
Creepy music and ambush spider all in one. Everyone wins. Except for the person who ends up goo'ed.
[Come on. He's a fun morally questionable alchemist. This will provide her with an even better challenge the next time she storms the fortress. Besides, She's stolen an military airship back in her own world. While she was doing it for the right reasons, it was still pretty darn illegal and dangerous.
Best birthday ever?]
I'll uh... Help you patch up some of the bullet holes I made.
And yeah, It wont last if we keep upping the ante. I'll see if I can find something. Having a bit more room to move around would be nice too.
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