 "un/finished") |
FERN |
Ooo slang part the second |
|
FERN |
i think we just shared electrons, because i'm feeling a covalent bond between us |
|
LANCE |
Pidge, I need your help. I gotta send a meme to Chloe but ... |
|
DIPPER |
Hey Varian. You know those crazy alchemy bombs you used... |
|
PETER |
Hey Varian, this is Peter. Um, Peter Graham. |
|
USAGI |
Soooooooo~ How'd the date go? |
|
MAKO |
Varianβ Checking in. |
|
SHIRO |
i think one of us put a chicken patty in my toaster |
|
EDDIE |
Hey. We need to talk. |
|
MELIUS |
π»πΎ. πΌ ππππ πΎπ πππππ πππΎππΉ πΆππΉ πΎπ πΎπ πππ ππ½πππ |
|
EDA |
Hey, kid. I... owe you an apology. |
|
LUZ |
Valentines |
|
MAUL |
I have a proposition for a project I think you'll be interested in |
|
USAGI |
I LOVE YOU |
|
FERN |
DUDE you still have your bandana! |
|
BUZZ |
Morning. I heard from Fern you wanted to go out into the blizzard. |
|
FERN |
dude your profile changed |
|
USAGI |
Ruby told me about the breakup. |
|
GLITCH |
Varian, I'm gonna go live somewhere else for now |
|
MAKO |
A "nerd" is somebody smart... |
|
MAUL |
Gifts |
|
FERN |
heeyyyy quick question |
|
FERN |
Christmas is coming up!!! |
|
CHLOE |
god who the FUCK ever thought emojis were a good idea??? |
|
KRISTOFF |
Varian,It's getting colder so I thought you could use this |
|
FERN |
heyyyy Variable |
|
RAPUNZEL |
okay not to put you on the spot but... |
|
EDA |
Potion time |
|
NEO |
Dude, I can mine antidote shit here! |
|
GLITCH |
Got this in my basket. |
|
EDA |
hey smart kid |
|
TEN |
Hallo |
|
ADAM |
Hey, k-- uh, Varian. I just wanted to check in |
|
USAGI |
I'm sorry I worried you and fainted on you yesterday. |
|
AMARA |
i lived, bitch |
|
NEO |
Debatably good news, asshole |
|
USAGI |
Hey Varian! It's Usagi |
|
OSCAR |
I'm sorry, Varian. Tell me what you need |
|
FERN |
a dark past huh |
|
MAUL |
Varian. I am in great need of your assistance |
|
FERN |
Varian VARIAN I CAN EAT FOOD |
|
USAGI |
How much moon essence do you have? |
|
USAGI |
VIVI-KUN, VIVI-KUN GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT! |
|
RICHIE |
well I promised |
|
FERN |
A TOTALLY INCOMPLETE LIST OF OOO WORDS 'N SLANG |
|
GLITCH |
VARIAN ARE THERE BUGS IN THE WATER?!
|
|
USAGI |
To help with restless nights and the... |
|
VIRA-LORR |
Little alchemist. I have a gift for you. |
|
MARTIN |
Hi, Varian. This is Martin. I wanted to reach out... |
|
USAGI |
Hi Varian, sweetie! I have a question for you. |
|
GLITCH |
varian I need to talk to you. it's important. |
|
USAGI |
I need you not to panic after what I tell you. |
|
FERN |
dog you have so many vests |
|
IRONHIDE |
HONK HONK |
|
USAGI |
... I'm sorry I couldn't help you better, Varian |
|
EMERALD |
Hey, V. Not that I care that much or anything... |
|
FERN |
tell me when you're alive |
|
FERN |
Varian i stabbed two people |
|
AMARA |
hey weirdo i have something for you
|
|
FERN |
is the Rapunzel in town your Rapunzel? |
|
PENNY |
Salutations!! You do not know me, but my name is Penny Polendina |
|
YANG |
Hey, is this Varian? I think we've met once before. |
|
FERN |
hey can we talk |
|
FERN |
you told ruby |
|
MAUL |
Surviving another year is always an occasion worth celebrating |
|
USAGI |
Hey I wanted to apologise |
|
USAGI |
VARIAN-KUUUUNNN!!!! |
|
FERN |
birth |
|
MAUL |
Look what just arrived for me. |
|
KATHERINE |
Do you want to get paid to make more purple goo things? |
|
FERN |
ok i know you're good with plants but what about animals |
|
FERN |
dog interested in means girls or guys |
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
droptheious) wrote2020-03-11 08:22 am
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
cawaii
audio message | un: P.Graham
Peter's been in a pretty weird state, as of late. (Who the hell hasn't?) But there comes a quiet afternoon, and finally he sits down on his bed and leaves a message for Varian. His voice is its usual soft, nervous state, but a little bit even more so. This is hard; it's always hard. He doesn't like talking about Paimon at all, and it's especially nerve-racking addressing it with someone he doesn't know too well. ]
Hey Varian, this is Peter. Um, Peter Graham. Iβ I know this is kind of out of nowhere, but Fern told me what happened at prom, and I um. I wanted to talk to you. To apologise. But if it's okay, I'd like to do it in person β or in real time, I mean. I know the town's all crazy; meeting in person's kind of... hard.
[ A beat, as he takes an anxious breath. ]
So if it's okay, you could just call me back whenever you want to. Or text me or something, whatever'sβ comfortable for you.
You don't have to if you don't want to. If not, just know that I'm... I'm really sorry. I don't know how to... warn people about what's wrong with me. About... him. But I should have.
[ After his anxious rambling message, he finally hangs up, releases a sigh. He's certainly not the best at this. At trying to mend things. In fact, he's always suited the opposite, hasn't he? He's the person that ruins things.
But.... he wants to try, even if it's been quite some time and maybe Varian's not even bothered about it at all anymore; he doesn't know. It's still something that Peter feels a certain responsibility for, and he's not hiding away from that concept this time. ]
voice
Still, once he'd been made aware of the situation, he hadn't blamed Peter. Not for a second. The whole situation reminds him too much of Zhan Tiri- but somehow worse. Terrible as she was, she never actually took full control of Cassandra. He can only imagine how terrifying this is, to be Peter, never knowing when someone else is going to wrench control of his body.
He's surprised by the message- honestly, he wouldn't have blamed Peter for burying it all and distancing as much as he could. He's kind of glad he didn't. ]
Hey. It's okay, I can drop by, I've got a pretty good guard to help me through the fog. Nothing gets past Max.
[Having a trained soldier (even if that soldier is a horse) always willing to escort him everywhere has its perks.]
...But for the record- it's not your fault. I don't blame you for any of that. I just...didn't know.
voice
Though there's another concern.... ]
I'm uh, I'm staying at Luna's. If that's okay. [ He's not sure if Varian would want to... come over, considering the last time Peter saw him with Luna, they were aiming weapons at each other. ]
I'mβ Thank you. [ It's said a little awkwardly, but genuinely, Peter's voice softening for a moment. ] It feels like something I should... tell people about. So they have a heads up if they want to... stay away from me. But it's just. It's hard.
[ The thought of going around advertising that he's hosting some powerful-yet-unstable demon king is...... kind of a nightmare. ]
voice
[He is going to be in for the shock of his life when he finds out Max is a near-sentient horse cop. That's always a fun surprise for everyone.
Finding out where Peter is staying is... not a comforting thought. He'd rather chuck himself into a sinkhole than deal with Luna Lovegood any time soon, and there's a touch of iciness to his voice as he replies. ]
I don't know. Is she going to throw magic at me if I go within five feet of you? She made her last threat very clear on that one. [He doesn't mean to aim it at Peter, though. Peter isn't the one he has beef with, and he exhales sharply. ] ...Sorry. It's fine. I'll just avoid her.
[He's quiet for a moment- he kind of wants to talk about Cassandra, to help Peter know he understands- but he doesn't want to do that over the Fluids. That's an in-person conversation if ever there was one.]
I... can understand. Not exactly personally but- it's complicated. Where's Luna's house? [Because he genuinely doesn't know, he's had zero reason to ever go there.] Give me like half an hour to get to you and we can talk.
voice
It's.... a weird place to be. He doesn't want to tell Luna's business, especially not in this situation, when it involves someone she's not on good terms with. But there's also a need to defend her, to stick up for her, because he knows Luna has her own reasons for what happened. Torn, Peter just doesn't say anything, and then Varian says it's fine, he'll just avoid her, and the older boy is giving a shaky exhale of relief. ]
Yeah, weβ it's okay. We can just talk outside; it's safe in the backyard.
[ What happened with Luna is a whole different issue, and he's not even sure how to go about that one. For now.... Demon Issues are enough to think about. ]
Oh right, I'll text you the address. And sure, that works great. I'll uh, I'll meet you out front?
[ Peter'll send Varian the address and then be waiting for him out in front of Luna's townhouse over on Prospero, nervously standing there near the sidewalk with his arms wrapped around himself, peering out into the mist. ]
voice
Okay. The backyard works. I'll be there as soon as I can. Hold tight.
[It takes him a little while- but as as promised soon there is the steady clip-clop of horse hooves on the concrete as Max walks through the fog, Varian riding on his back. The horse has a sword in his mouth, and is scowling at the fog, making little snorts of annoyance, daring something to try him. Once they get to the sidewalk, Varian raises his hand in awkward greeting, sliding off Max and wandering over as the horse starts patrolling around, waving the sword about a little. Varian acts as if this is completely normal. ]
Uh... hey.
action from here on!
The only bad thing about this is that Paimon is always on high alert when Peter's standing outside, ready to take on any potential danger. Peter can feel it, his fingers occasionally giving odd little erratic twitches beyond his control, and his breaths come out in chilly little puffs of air, like a ghost's clinging onto him. He's nervous, and desperately hoping that the demon is going to behave himself around Varian after the talk with Fern. At least Paimon's been more... sensible again lately, winding down from whatever weird state Maul had sent him into before.
.....He hears a weird sound, some kind of clopping. Peter tenses, taking a step back, and the demon within him tenses too, both of them staring out widely into the fog. But soon enough the source of the sound emerges through the fog, and Peter's doing a double-take. That's. That sure is Varian. On a horse.
The horse also has a sword in its mouth. ]
Hello..... [ Peter Very Awkwardly greets the other teen as he makes his way over, eyes locked on the horse as it seems to be... like patrolling around with that sword still in its mouth. ]
He uh..... So that's Max. [ Not a dog! Very much not a dog! ]
aww yee
Oh...yeah, that's Max. He's from home. Second in command of the Royal Guard. [He waves to get the horse's attention.] Max, this is Peter.
[Max stops, looks Peter up and down very pointedly, lets out a snort, then goes back to patrolling. Varian rubs the back of his neck, letting out a soft 'heh'.]
Like I said, nothing gets past him.
no subject
But honestly? After his demon sniffed Varian, he really has no room to freak out about this.
Peter stays very still, eyes wide, just letting the horse do his... thing. And then he's gone back to walking around and Peter turns to the other teen, swallowing. ]
So uh. I guess we can uh. Go back there now. [ He says, so awkward that it's palpable, gesturing over his shoulder with a thumb. He spares another look back at the horse β the very eerily sentient horse β before slowly easing back around the house to Luna's small patch of backyard. It's nice back here, calm. The only real disturbance are two patches of dirt that look.... freshly lifted; underneath are the dead bodies of two Wastes they buried back here. It's fine. ]
....I um. I should tell you that he's here. Awake, I mean. So he's... probably definitely listening to everything.
[ He fucking hates saying this aloud, but Peter's realised that he needs to warn people. It's his responsibility; other people deserve to know, as uncomfortable as it personally, as much as he doesn't want to. ]
no subject
...Were they people you knew?
[He askes before really thinking about it, staring at the piles, before clearing his throat.]
S-sorry. You don't need to answer that. And yeah, I kinda figured he would be. Sounds like you don't have any control over that.
no subject
But then there's an exhale, a release of it, and he's answering softly. ]
Yeah, they were. It's okay, I don'tβ I don't mind talking about it.
[ He... doesn't. As weird and hard as it is, as much as there's something just as wounded thrumming under his own sternum. ]
They were uh... Wastes. [ Peter looks down to the graves again, one arm creeping up to loosely wrap around his middle, resting there. ]
You've seen them around too? [ The Wastes. He figures Varian must, to know to ask that question. ]
no subject
Yeah. Yeah one- one was my dad. Or...I guess a version of my dad? How-however that works. We buried him in the backyard.
[He can feel the dark mood that had very almost taken him out when he was dealing with that prickling at the edge of his consciousness again. He doesn't want to deal with it, frankly, he's scared what will happen to him if he actually takes the time to take apart all his feelings on that mess.]
...I think it's probably the cruellest thing this place has ever done to us and that's saying a lot.
no subject
I'm sorry.
[ It's never enough to say those two words, but Peter genuinely means it, and just as genuinely sounds like he does. His voice is just as raw as the look in his eyes, something quietly hoarse to his throat. ]
Fern helped you? [ He's assuming that's who; Peter knows they live together. ] Luna helped me with.... mine, too. It's good not to have toβ to do it alone.
no subject
[He stops himself from saying that it's okay, because it absolutely is not. He is deeply not okay with all of that. Most people only have to deal with the horrible agony of dealing with their father dying on them once. Varian's done it twice now. Sure, the first time wasn't permanent and this second one wasn't really his father. But it's still two times too much. The first time around meant he committed some truly awful atrocities in the name of revenge. He doesn't want to backslide there again, so he's doing his best to keep a lid on it all.
He casts a look at Peter, and makes note of the empathy there. He's not sure if that makes him feel better or worse about the whole situation.]
It was just a lot.
[He nods quietly.]
...Yeah. He... he did a lot. I couldn't have handled it without him. [And as much as he doesn't like Luna:] I'm glad you had someone too.
no subject
This place has.... made me see my family here, too. [ Not as Wastes, but in other.... forms, and his expression tightens for a brief moment as a flicker of ache dances across it. Dead things, ghosts, monstrous twisted versions, things that had to be.... put down. It's an awful cruelty, what this place does. Digs itself into your soul and memories, finds what lives there, makes it into some twisted version.
He clears his throat after a moment, looks back up. Fern and Luna, sources of comfort for the both of them... There's a lot surrounding the little group of four (...five, counting Paimon? ...Six, counting the thing in Fern's head? Holy shit) ]
I'm sorry. About what happened. I know I already said that, butβ There's been something wrong with him. Maul did something to him, and I should've... I should've been more careful. I probably shouldn't even have gone to prom, shouldn't have... taken him there, had him around all those people. [ The demon. Paimon could've done a lot worse, with how fucked up he's been. Looking back, Peter resents himself for it. ]
I guess I just wanted... one normal thing, you know? Going to prom with Luna. Saying goodbye to school. Stupid. [ Peter exhales the word, quietly. ]
no subject
[This town knows exactly how to find their most painful wounds and tear them wide open again. He's had it happen to him more times than he cares to count these days. Sometimes, he thinks it's on purpose- Mother Superior trying to force them to snap, to turn on one another. It wouldn't be the first time she did that. He still remembers July. He'll always remember July.
If Varian took the time to think about how many moving parts there are to this sad little group he'd be just as surprised. As is, he's still doing a lot of tunnel vision in that area. He's still trying to come to terms with the Grass Demon- Paimon is just another slide of demon problems to deal with. The knowledge that Maul had something to do it makes his stomach twists in uncomfortable knots. ]
Maul again? He's just- oh man, I'm sorry, I didn't know Maul was involved. [It's another in a growing collection of marks against the man. Varian's well past tolerating it now. Every time he thinks he's hit the limit of what Maul has done to people here, he learns something new and awful.] What did he do?
[Varian can understand wanting one normal thing. It was definitely what he was aiming for with prom before everything went to hell. He'd one decent night out with Fern and it went wrong. It's not something he blames Peter for, not even in the slightest.]
You shouldn't have to cut out the happy moments in your own life because you've got... him in your head. That's- that's not fair. You're still entitled to your own life, if you can think and feel for yourself. Giving up everything is like... I don't know, letting him win. Letting him control you, you know? When do you get to be just Peter? Just live Peter's life?
[It's hard to take Paimon's side even a little. Even if the demon hadn't sliced far too close to Varian's self-worth issues, he'd still struggle. It's why he struggles with the Grass Demon, too. He can't help but think about Zhan Tiri, her nasty, insidious ways of pulling strings and moving people around like chess pieces. ]
...It wasn't stupid to do that. You shouldn't have to worry about that all the time.
no subject
But then, Peter knows he deserves every nightmare that happens here. For it to use memories of his mom, dad, grandmother... Charlie, against him. He deserves that. Maybe it's the same for Varian, maybe not, but it's hard to.... look at someone else who's hurting and wish ill on them, even if they did deserve it, too. He's sorry for what the other boy's been through, even if he's only scratched the surface of it. And for a moment, it's something quiet and shared between them: the sharing of loss, of pain in this place. It doesn't take it away, but it's a reminder that no one here is really alone in being targeted it. ]
I'm not even sure, exactly. It's like heβ reached inside of me, my mind? [ Peter shudders at the memory, some deep and instinctive flinch that ripples down his body like an icy chill. ] And like he forced him out too fast. T-the demon. And itβ it hurt us. It made us weird. Made him weird. [ Paimon can't be... handled that way, so violently. It had set him off into some violent state of his own.
But Peter's falling silent again at Varian's next words, eyes widening, mouth opening a little as he listens. There's nothing in him that could try to cover up the gloss that appears in his eyes, wet and hot and making his vision a little hazy. He hasn't by any means made peace with the fact he has to live with Paimon. It's just gotten... to where some of it can be managed more easily. But it's still hard; he doesn't want this. And hearing someone else outright say these things.... 'When do you get to be just Peter? Just live Peter's life?'... it almost feels like giving him permission to be upset about it, too. ]
...I can't. I can't ever just be Peter. [ He shakes his head a little, lifts a hand and runs it over his mouth, trying to keep himself steady. Even with the "password" Luna's been using here and there to put the demon fully to sleep, he's still... there, inside. He could wake up any moment during those times. There's no true freedom from him, just little moments where he isn't listening or watching. In some horrible way, it's like the demon belongs to him; he's responsible for it. Paimon's a piece of him. ]
If I don't worry about it, more people could get hurt. [ He admits softly, quietly, like something he's ashamed of. ] Even without what Maul did to him, he's.... dangerous. But maybe if I warn people... they can stop him if they had to. You.... you had some kind of weapon, didn't you? At prom? What was that?
no subject
Varian's frown only deepens as Peter explains what happened with Maul. Things are just getting worse and worse with the guy. Just when he thinks he's heard about as bad as Maul could possibly get, a whole new layer of awful gets added to the pile. He exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair. Damnit, Maul. ]
..I'm sorry that happened to you. [Maybe not so much Paimon, but as Paimon is attached to Peter, it's had a bad effect on the boy too.] He's been lashing out a lot lately and he's just been... hurting more and more people. Is that why he was weird in Prom? Because of all that?
[He'd take that- because Paimon was weird as all hell. It would soften the blow a little from all the self-worth issues the demon's comments disturbed that night. Maybe if that was out of the ordinary, it might make him feel a little less like trash.
It's heartbreaking to hear that Peter can't... just be Peter. This is something Varian's used to, at least. The Grass Demon is an intrinsic part of Fern, as uncomfortable as he makes him feel. It still sucks, though, it's like Peter's had his life stolen from him- maybe not all of it, but enough. ]
...I'm really sorry to hear that. [Uh oh. Varian can see where this is going and he shifts his feet, unsettled.] Thaaaat was an alchemy bomb, and admittedly a very bad idea to pull at prom. It's an explosive. I usually cart them around at parties in case something tries to kill us, because that... always happens.
[So it would have made a big ass explosion. Which if it was aimed at anyone other than Luna he's sure would have cause some damage, BUT.]
I'm pretty sure Luna would reduce me to a paste on the floor if I hurt you or Paimon. She doesn't need the excuse as it is.
no subject
It might have made him more... confrontational, but I don't know how much of that was because of Maul or how much was just... Paimon. [ Peter visibly balks when he says the name aloud, like he usually does. He really, really doesn't want to coax the demon out, and saying his name always feels like a surefire way to summon him. ]
He doesn't.... understand certain things. And he gets really protective of certain people? Like him and Fern, they're really um... really close? [ Fuck, this is so weird to be talking about. Navigating teenage relationships is awkward enough without some weirdass, lost demon king involved. ] He did the same kind of thing when me and Luna started... being together, more. Like a couple. He didn't understand, and he's really protective of her, like he is with Fern.
[ A pause, and Peter glances back at Varian. He..... should probably warn the guy. Clearly he and Luna don't get on too well, and Paimon most likely won't... appreciate that. ] Really protective.
...But Fern talked to him, and I think maybe he understands a little more, now. I haven't uh, found any angry scribbly drawings of you in a while, so.... [ Cue a nervous laugh because he is not joking; Paimon's been doodling and there have been more than a few of a boy with two sets of really big round eyes (Paimon's depiction of someone wearing goggles, it seems...) ]
An alchemy bomb.....? [ The older boy's eyes are widening, stunned by that. And just a smidgen horrified, because as much as he knows Luna can handle herself, the thought of how that fight could have gone down is... not a pleasant one. They could have both seriously hurt each other. And there's a sudden, sharper flutter through him; Paimon's not happy about this. You were going to throw an explosive at his witch, Vareen??? And what is Peter implying, here? That Vareen should throw an explosive at them if he has to?
Peter swallows, eyes suddenly as wide as saucers, immediately looking all petrified. It's fine, he's fine. ] Yeah, sheβ she can definitely be scary when she wants to be. But I think we allβ we're all just trying to protect each other? That's what it sounds like. It's okay. Everything's okay.
[ ......If he sounds like he's coaxing himself, it's because he kind of is. Or rather, the demon inside of himself, who's now rippling like very unsettled water. Peter's heart is starting to beat a little too fast, and he suddenly presses a hand against his chest, like he's trying to settle an upset animal. ]
Stop it. He's not gonna hurt Luna either.
no subject
[Because Maul was very much in his own mind later, when he went about burning bridges. That had hurt Varian a lot- perhaps even more than the literal murder he went through. But he can understand anyone getting their back up over Maul. Add a demon king to the mix and...well, volatile isn't even a strong enough word.]
Yeah. That's something I wasn't aware of. [Does he sound a little bitter about that? Possibly. He doesn't like this pretty large secret that had been kept from him. He shouldn't be, he knows, he doesn't need to know everyone Fern is close to. But this felt... pretty intense and being out of the loop was not pleasant. ] I am now, but... yeah.
[Poor at social skills as he is, he can pick up what Peter is putting down. ]
So he's protective of her but he doesn't think you're... good enough for her? That sounds... complicated. I mean- this stuff is hard enough without having a demon getting involved. [Teenage romance, and all that. The seas are pretty damn choppy to say the least. He pauses because that's...concerning.] Wait he's been drawing pictures of me? Angry pictures?
[Well. That sure is concerning. He sure doesn't like that none. He watches Peter's panic start to surge and he's...definitely not doing hot. It was different with Cassandra- he heard her talking to Zhan Tiri, but she'd always been separate- not taking control, just whispering and pulling her insidious little strings. This is different and it's a little scary to see. He raises his hands in faux-surrender. ]
Hey, I wasn't gonna throw it at her. I mean... not unless she hit me first. It was self-defence. She brought the wand out first.
[And he distrusts magic enough to know that's not something to mess around with. He's still not sure that he would have got much of a hit in anyway. Not against Luna.
He squints a little, as Peter talks to Paimon and sucks in a breath. This is hitting far too close to home for comfort. If any of them had realised what was happening to Cass- if they'd caught it sooner- would things have gotten as bad as they were? When he speaks again, there's an edge to his tone, because he's not addressing Peter. ]
Hey, butt out. This is a conversation I'm having with Peter. When I'm having a conversation with you, I'll tell you. Give him some breathing space, geez.
no subject
I didn't know about it for a long time, either. He... the demon.... wanted things to stay hidden from most people. He never even let me know his name; I had to find out what it was from Luna. And there's still... a lot I don't know about him.
( Paimon's still such a mystery to him, which is... incredibly unnerving, and Peter's only recently started kind of facing that. )
Yeah, it's like... he has different rules, I guess. I don't think he means it... personally, he just sees things so differently. ( Okay, this is fucking weird and unsettling; he absolutely doesn't mean to... excuse Paimon's behaviour or try to get into that headspace or whatever, but.... living with this thing, interacting with other people... he's going to have to try to objectively understand Paimon's point of view and not be biased about it. But fuck, is that difficult. He doesn't want to be understanding of the fucking terrifying thing that's ruined his whole life, thanks. )
...But he shouldn't have even approached you at all. He knew better than that, ( Peter adds with a deep frown, because Paimon shouldn't have. He was meant to be keeping quiet and hidden that evening, not wandering around terrorising random people. ...Speaking of terrorising, though. )
Yeah. Heβ he does that. He likes to... draw and stuff. I think he's just getting out some... frustrations, like a little kid would, but I thought I should... tell you.
( Wow, he hates this, as much as it's necessary to actually... be honest with people. Warn them. Because despite Fern talking to Paimon and the demon seeming to be okay with that part of it now... Peter doesn't trust him. If he could be a threat to Varian, he needs to keep him in the loop about things. ....Unfortunately, this opens the door for the demon to make his thoughts known, too β and oh god, oh god, there's another, more violent shudder when Varian mentions that he'd only attack Luna if she hit him first. Paimon doesn't like anything to do with his witch being hurt, even if it's in a fair fight.
And suddenly Varian's talking to him, a fact that's immediately clear to both the demon and Peter. And it dredges up memories of what happened at prom: the harshness Varian had addressed him with. Paimon's a being that reciprocates how he's treated, and this is a stark contrast to the gentleness he's used to from Luna. She's firm with him when she has to be, but it's never disrespectful, which is how he perceives "Vareen" now. How dare!! He give him such harsh commands!!! The absolute gall. )
You do not command me, mortal. ( Peter's voice is abruptly a snarl that ripples from his throat harshly, like something clawing its way out β and he's just as abruptly lunging closer to Varian, body moving with a weird convulsive motion. He doesn't actually touch him, certainly won't hurt him (that would hurt Fern), but he has to bark at him a little. )
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[Oh. Oh no. Oh that sounds horribly familiar and something just twists uncomfortably in his stomach.
Who are you?
A friend, or I'd like to be.
Varian sucks in a breath. Normally, he wouldn't talk about Zhan Tiri so openly- or at least her effect on Cassandra. But that's why he wanted to see Peter in person anyway. Because this was an in-person conversation.]
The demon back home. Zhan Tiri? She was the same. She was known as a demon, so she hid her form, pretended she was helping. She pulled her strings and got everyone exactly where she wanted us. But Cass- it's not like you where she was inside her? But she did talked to her, she pushed her and used her, made her believe no one cared about her. That she was in the right, to attack us. And the whole time she lied. Told Cass she was her friend, and when Cass found out who she was, she freaked out but it was already...a mess.
[Maybe if things hadn't gone south. Maybe if Project Obsidian hadn't malfunctioned then maybe Rapunzel would have been able to talk Cass down from the metaphorical ledge. But things had gone south. And it had been awful.]
Yeah, well. He did. He strikes me as someone who's going to do what he wants anyway. Zhan Tiri sure did. I honestly don't care if he doesn't like me. His opinion doesn't matter. It just- he'd just hit a nerve is all.
[Varian's self-worth is so low and Paimon had hit hard there. Varian is aware he should have known better, should have had a thicker hide. But he hadn't, and he'd gone off at Luna and there's no changing that. He notices Peter convulsing and concern crosses his features at first- not quite realising what is happening. It's not until Peter speaks like that which clues Varian in on everything.
The concern is immediately replaced with anger, his lip curling a little. He doesn't step back from the lunge, keeping his shoulders square. He has got some bombs on him, if he needs them, but he doesn't want to hurt Peter.]
I'll say whatever I like- you don't command me, either. I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to Peter. This doesn't concern you.
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Still, this is absolutely horrifying. As is the subject of demons, because no matter how long Peter has spent with one of his own, no matter how he's learning ways to... adjust to it, it remains the biggest source of horror for him. It scares the shit out of him, and learning that demons exist in other worlds too? It's horrifying.
But he listens. He doesn't shut down like he might not long ago β because he invited Varian over here, and he'll listen to whatever the other boy tells him. But Peter's eyes are wide and horrified by what he's hearing, that some poor woman was manipulated in such a way by such a force. Luna's been learning about his own demon, and there's John who's an exorcist, who knows his shit. They've both stressed that Paimon is apparently not an evil entity; he's meant to help people, but... this Paimon? He's weird as fuck. He's... wrong, lost, warped in ways. He gets hostile, violent. Peter's been trying to understand the demon more, and he's met other demons who aren't dangerous, like Michael (though.... Michael did used to torture humans, so there's that.) ....Stories like this are a reminder to Peter of what the word "demon" has always meant for him. Something scary, evil. It's still so hard for him not to see Paimon that way. )
That's horrible. I'm.... I'm so sorry. For what your friend went through. Did the demon finally leave her alone after that?
Luna's been researching him for a long time. And he's... he's supposed to follow certain rules. He's supposed to help people, grant their wishes and stuff. But something happened to him. I don't really understandβ there was this cult, back home. They... I guess they messed him up. He's not how he's supposed to be?
( That's how he's heard Luna word it. Not that it'll probably soothe Varian's discomforts any, and it does little to soothe his own.
Of course, any lingering comfort that might have been hanging on through this incredibly awful conversation is out the window when Paimon and Varian start hissing at each other. Oh god. The both of them are probably saying the absolute worst things to each other right now β Paimon flaring up all over again at that, seeing it as blatant disrespect. It gets to the demon in a certain place too, presses against a particular bruise, one that knows what humans can do, and is upset by them for it. )
You will hold your tongue! All matters of my Vessel concern me. As do all matters of my Witch, and my Knight. You will not harm them, human.
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[And Varian had no idea when the man would lash out like one. He knows Savage has a pretty big vendetta against Usagi already. He has no idea how many others are on that list.
Zhan Tiri is exactly why Varian has so much distrust towards demons. Before coming here, he only knew of the one and she was beyond evil. All she wanted to do was destroy and hurt an entire Kingdom.
Revenge for an act done to her by a dead man over a thousand years ago. ]
Uuuhhh, well, she's super dead now, the demon. So not by choice, no. And not before wiping out almost all life in the Kingdom while she was at it. Uh...it got undone.
[Which is a great way to tell anyone you got murdered by a demon and then resurrected. ]
Is Luna sure what she read is true? Maybe it was something written from the perspective of people who wanted him latched onto someone. I mean, maybe she's right- but if I wanted a demon to be brought into a mortal body, I sure wouldn't be honest about his nature.
[Sorry, Peter. Varian is never the person you want to go for optimism and words if comfort.
Not that comfort is anywhere near his mind as Paimon keeps talking. ]
Uuuhhhhh no? You don't get to tell me what to do. And I'm NOT interested in hurting Luna, and I'm sure as heck not going to hurt Fern. So get off your high horse and go back wherever you go in Peter's head when you're not in control.
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...But there's something that's just as distressing, and he's pausing, staring at Varian widely for a long moment. ) She killed everybody? Oh my god.
( But it got "undone", the other boy said. Which is... good, but like. Fuck. (Has he had nightmares where Paimon just straightup murders everyone he cares about? Oh, absolutely. Is this conversation digging in deeper and deeper to Peter's worst fears? Definitely.) )
I mean... Honestly, I don't think she knows for sure. Like this thing... the information about him is ancient. I'm not sure how much is real and how much might be like... I don't know, altered over time?
( Like any religious text, really. Who's to say what's in there is concrete? Paimon seems to listen to Luna, but clearly that's not foolproof. )
You dare speak to me in such a mannerβ! You cannot!
( That'll be Paimon, rearing up at Varian all over again, absolutely livid by this human he isn't even bonded to, directing him to withdraw into his host. Satan below, Varian is testing him.
Peter's dark eyes flash gold as something ancient surges through him. Suddenly, the air's changing, seeming almost to tense β a thrumming, buzzing sensation that presses inwards, the energy of the demon like static from some other world, something alien. Varian might feel his skin crawl, goosebumps erupting across it β and the same thing happens to Peter, the nerve endings of his skin suddenly unpleasantly active, raw. The air itself feels alive, and Peter's suddenly breaking through for a moment, eyes murky and twitching, scrambling backwards from Varian. He's been here before; he knows what it feels like. Any moment now, Paimon could make flames erupt into an inferno, or attack Varian like a wild animal, with nails and teeth and inhuman speed...
His heart's hammering, terrified, hands held up in the air between himself and the younger boy. A cold sweat's broken out all over him, his skin fever-slick and shuddering, his body as always reacting poorly to the demon surging so powerfully. )
Okay, enough! I don'tβ I don't want him to get hurt! Please, stop. I'm not commanding you, I'm justβ asking! Please.
( The seconds trickle by, Peter's hands still held up, desperate. It's slowly, but it happens; the demon withdraws inwards, and its oppressive, buzzing energy slowly fades. Peter's wide eyes just as slowly lose that murkiness, and he slumps against the back of Luna's house, shaking hands covering his face. )
Fuck.
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unnecessarily lengthy introspection!
beautiful though!
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cw: suicidal ideation themes
cw: suicidal ideation themes
cw: mention of familial suicide, themes of mental illness and autonomy loss, just a real fun time
cw: Peter bringing the party to the house
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