droptheious: (Say I shouldn't kill you yet)
Varian ([personal profile] droptheious) wrote2020-03-11 08:22 am

Deerington inbox



 
FROM:
SUBJECT:
FERN Ooo slang part the second
FERN i think we just shared electrons, because i'm feeling a covalent bond between us
LANCE Pidge, I need your help. I gotta send a meme to Chloe but ...
DIPPER Hey Varian. You know those crazy alchemy bombs you used...
PETER Hey Varian, this is Peter. Um, Peter Graham.
USAGI Soooooooo~ How'd the date go?
MAKO Varianβ€” Checking in.
SHIRO i think one of us put a chicken patty in my toaster
EDDIE Hey. We need to talk.
MELIUS 𝐻𝒾. 𝐼 π“€π“ƒπ‘œπ“Œ 𝒾𝓉 π“π‘œπ‘œπ“€π“ˆ π“Œπ‘’π’Ύπ“‡π’Ή 𝒢𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓉 π’Ύπ“ˆ π“ƒπ‘œπ“‰ π“ˆπ’½π‘œπ“‡π“‰
EDA Hey, kid. I... owe you an apology.
LUZ Valentines
MAUL I have a proposition for a project I think you'll be interested in
USAGI I LOVE YOU
FERN DUDE you still have your bandana!
BUZZ Morning. I heard from Fern you wanted to go out into the blizzard.
FERN dude your profile changed
USAGI Ruby told me about the breakup.
GLITCH Varian, I'm gonna go live somewhere else for now
MAKO A "nerd" is somebody smart...
MAUL Gifts
FERN heeyyyy quick question
FERN Christmas is coming up!!!
CHLOE god who the FUCK ever thought emojis were a good idea???
KRISTOFF Varian,It's getting colder so I thought you could use this
FERN heyyyy Variable
RAPUNZEL okay not to put you on the spot but...
EDA Potion time
NEO Dude, I can mine antidote shit here!
GLITCH Got this in my basket.
EDA hey smart kid
TEN Hallo
ADAM Hey, k-- uh, Varian. I just wanted to check in
USAGI I'm sorry I worried you and fainted on you yesterday.
AMARA i lived, bitch
NEO Debatably good news, asshole
USAGI Hey Varian! It's Usagi
OSCAR I'm sorry, Varian. Tell me what you need
FERN a dark past huh
MAUL Varian. I am in great need of your assistance
FERN Varian VARIAN I CAN EAT FOOD
USAGI How much moon essence do you have?
USAGI VIVI-KUN, VIVI-KUN GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT!
RICHIE well I promised
FERN A TOTALLY INCOMPLETE LIST OF OOO WORDS 'N SLANG
GLITCH VARIAN ARE THERE BUGS IN THE WATER?!
USAGI To help with restless nights and the...
VIRA-LORR Little alchemist. I have a gift for you.
MARTIN Hi, Varian. This is Martin. I wanted to reach out...
USAGI Hi Varian, sweetie! I have a question for you.
GLITCH varian I need to talk to you. it's important.
USAGI I need you not to panic after what I tell you.
FERN dog you have so many vests
IRONHIDE HONK HONK
USAGI ... I'm sorry I couldn't help you better, Varian
EMERALD Hey, V. Not that I care that much or anything...
FERN tell me when you're alive
FERN Varian i stabbed two people
AMARA hey weirdo i have something for you
FERN is the Rapunzel in town your Rapunzel?
PENNY Salutations!! You do not know me, but my name is Penny Polendina
YANG Hey, is this Varian? I think we've met once before.
FERN hey can we talk
FERN you told ruby
MAUL Surviving another year is always an occasion worth celebrating
USAGI Hey I wanted to apologise
USAGI VARIAN-KUUUUNNN!!!!
FERN birth
MAUL Look what just arrived for me.
KATHERINE Do you want to get paid to make more purple goo things?
FERN ok i know you're good with plants but what about animals
FERN dog interested in means girls or guys


 
TO:
SUBJECT:
USAGI So. Maul dropped by, he's got his memories back.
ADAM I'm worried about Shiro
FERN Hey handsome
OSCAR You've been weirdly quiet lately
FERN Guess what I haven't told you lately?
USAGI Hey. I'm back from the dead and I feel like trash.
FERN I made meatloaf that may or may not poison us!
Emerald Hey. I know you probably don't want to talk to anyone right now...
BELLA Hey Bella. You've dated someone who's a different species to you right?
BILL Hi, Fern mentioned you were interested in interdimensional portals...
FERN Aw, your pictures are nice!
KURT Hey. Are you around?
RICHIE Is it just me or is Eddie acting weirder than usual?
QROW Hey. Checking up on you.
EDA Hi Eda. Hope Ruddiger found you okay.
GLITCH Hey. What happened between you and Maul?
LUNA Luna- I uh... I think I need your help
EDDIE So hey, I finally worked out how to replicate the Antidote
OSCAR So, I noticed Ozpin has shown up.
ROGUE Hey, I managed to replicate the Antidote
KURT Hey. We're back. None of us are dead.
QROW Uh... hey. How are you guys holding up?
PETER You gave Ruby the haunted dolls
GLITCH Hey, Bud. Sorry I tried to murder you with a robot
KURT I'm probably the last person you want to talk to...
JON I'm sorry I attacked you
JON Stay away from Fern.
FERN Hey you still haven't got me those baking ingredients
FERN Okay so the Betties are upping their war...
USAGI Hey. So. Update.
NEO You tried to bury her alive? SERIOUSLY?
USAGI Emotions are really difficult
FERN OH MY GOD YOU HAVE ONE TOO
FERN Okay this better be to Fern this time.
WYNONNA So guess who got into the fridge and ate literally everything in there.


code by [community profile] cawaii
clickclickbloom: art credit to twitter.com/shaburdies plz don't steal (I wish upon a star)

[personal profile] clickclickbloom 2020-07-08 03:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Awwwwww. Come on! come on!

[Clearly if she keep trying she'll just break his will down, right?

She glances back to Mr.Fluffers.]


Alright. You heard, Varian. You keep your mouth shut until we're ready to beat the answers out of you, you hear?

[Eyes shift back to Varian.]

That should keep him quiet.

[She goes over her their options briefly than nods.]

That normally wouldn't stop me, but we could always try something else and come back later.

[She looks over what they haven't tried yet. ...She doesn't really want to kill him with another face paced ride so she looks for something a bit more low key.]

Uh-... There's the Ferris wheel? ...I've never been in a tunnel of love before... Do either of those sound fun?
clickclickbloom: (This little fairy tale)

[personal profile] clickclickbloom 2020-07-09 07:14 pm (UTC)(link)
It might work? And no problem!

[She didn't have any reason to doubt the rabbit yet at the very least. She shoves it closer toward Varian's face. She shifts it from side to side and in a creepy and cutesy voice she makes it say.]

Don't worry, Varian. I won't murder you! But you might die -----

--of fun! It'll be completely unrelated!

[She is not helping this at at all but she's trying.

She can't hold back a snort.]


Deal. We're definitely getting kicked out of her by the end of the night.

[She holds Mr.Fluffers in one arm and then wraps the other around Varian's shoulder as he refuses to go on the Ferris wheel.]

Okay. That's fair. No high fliers. Got it.

...Honestly I don't know what it is either. Never been in one before and didn't really care. It just seems like a date thing?

Might as well cross it off the check list?
clickclickbloom: (that a warrior will soon run wild)

[personal profile] clickclickbloom 2020-07-09 10:11 pm (UTC)(link)
[She holds up the rabbit to her face again, mimicking the voice.]

Oh! -Uh- I just assumed from the big dopey grin and- Uh-

[Okay. She's got nothing for this one.]

How else is a big creepy bunny doll going to kill someone!?

[She's laughing at her own stupid routine when she pulls the rabbit back down.]

Is it still just the movie theater or have you managed to get yourself banned from anywhere else?

[Her eyes go wide with delight.]

We should definitely try out the roller rink next. That could be fun!

[She leads them along to the tunnel of love and... yeah it does look like it's just a little boat ride. Seems harmless enough.]

I've got like ten bucks on this thing being kind of awful. Those boats don't look they get any speed.

We might learn this lesson pretty quick.
clickclickbloom: (I like the dark)

[personal profile] clickclickbloom 2020-07-09 11:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Better luck next time, villainous fiend.

[She tilts her head and thinks about that for a moment. Then she gets an idea.]

Oh! That's a great idea! Imagine if we could get some neon and that in the warehouse! Death traps and robot fights in neon lights! That would be freakin' awesome!

Let's do it! Let's do it to it!

[Don't mind her casually agreeing to crimes.]

I'm going to be disappointed if there's no crazy two headed monster waiting to eat us in there.

[She's a simple girl of simple tastes, but she also doesn't mind being treated like a lady. So she'll accept Varian's hand and in her best Weiss impersonation that does involve plugging her nose she'll say. ]

Oh! Thank you, kind sir!

[And then she'll let herself get settled into the boat. Setting the terror rabbit behind her for the time being.]
clickclickbloom: (Bluebirds fly)

[personal profile] clickclickbloom 2020-07-10 06:26 pm (UTC)(link)
[The ride... Is not what Ruby was expecting at all. To be honest she had no idea what she was expecting. What she did know was that she was really hoping for that monster to show up right about now.

...Except it didn't show up. And they were just left in the dark.]


I'm going to level with you right now, Varian. I have no idea what's going on here.

Do people actually enjoy stuff like this?

[Don't mind her as she reaches her hand into the water and tries to paddle the boat along faster.]

Uh! Is anyone there!? I think the rides broken!
clickclickbloom: (It's like a movie)

[personal profile] clickclickbloom 2020-07-11 03:43 pm (UTC)(link)
[Yeah. Ruby's getting pretty bored here. If it wasn't obvious by her tapping feet and the paddling with her hand to try and get the boat to speed up.]

And who the heck would like that? Okay. Blake or Weiss might be okay with this but they aren't here.

[Ruby had tried to bring Crescent Rose along with her but her sister had insisted that she didn't. She's not sure what that was all about.

...She just stares at the blank and empty tunnel all around them as the light goes on.]


Seriously? Is the ride like just not finished?

This is literally the worst.

[She starts to shake the edges of the boat to make it rock back and forth.]

Like at least add in some waves or some rapids.
clickclickbloom: (and red roses too)

[personal profile] clickclickbloom 2020-07-11 05:09 pm (UTC)(link)
[Important questions Ruby was wondering too. Maybe there's been a little birdy watching this whole disaster of a date.]

Neither do I. Like they could have at least played a movie or something?

[Ruby stops shaking the boat when she hears the splash and looks back over toward where Varian had been sitting. Only to see that he's no longer there.

That's troubling.]


V-Varian!?

[She moves over to the other and looks over the edge to see him sitting there in the water as she slowly drifts away from him.]

Oh no! Boyfriend overboard! I'mma coming!

[Don't mind her as she leaps out of the boat to make a dramatic rescue. She lands in front of him with a big splash, and then slips on the bottom. She falls onto her back with an even bigger splash.

A second later her face emerges from the water as she just lets herself float there.]


It tastes gross too.
clickclickbloom: (And the dreams)

[personal profile] clickclickbloom 2020-07-12 03:27 pm (UTC)(link)
[Ruby accepts that hand and pulls herself up to her feet. She throws a playful elbow at Varian's chest when he makes the comment about Mr.Fluffers.]

Shhh! He might still be able to hear you. Did miss how big his ears are?

[She was definitely going to have to try and reclaim him at the lost and found later. She glances down along the tunnel, past the light and into the darkness.]

Might be better if we wait for the next boat. We can spook the people out of it and claim it for ourselves!

Like pirates!
clickclickbloom: (And it seems we weren't prepared)

[personal profile] clickclickbloom 2020-07-13 04:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Your funeral.

See. I knew you'd understand. Commandeering a vessel from so no good land lovers is like pirating 101.

[She keeps a step behind him as he approached the boat. ...Her eyes go wide and she can't help but let out half gasp, half laugh at what they just saw.

...On the bright side the two teens had stopped doing what they were doing so Ruby feels no guilt as she climbs aboard and offers Varian a hand.]


Wow. Well- This is the part where Yang would make some kind of pun about booty.

Yeeeesh. Atleast we know for know for next time, huh?
clickclickbloom: (Prepare for your greatest moments)

[personal profile] clickclickbloom 2020-07-20 02:59 pm (UTC)(link)
[See that's why Ruby keeps Varian around. He appreciates her high quality booty jokes. She starts to wring out her clothes as best she can, sorry townspeople. The boats taking on a bit of water now.]

I dunno? Maybe people like the danger of protentional concussions? Like an adrenaline high but for kissing?

Yeah. Practice makes perfect, right? I kind of like my eyes where they are right now.
clickclickbloom: (But now without you)

[personal profile] clickclickbloom 2020-07-20 09:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Like a roller coaster?

[...Because honestly she didn't mind that all that much.]

Oh-Yeah-I mean I like them a whole lot. Your's aren't half bad either-you're teeth uh-really bring them out when you smile.

I mean if I was paying attention to things like that.
clickclickbloom: (This little fairy tale)

[personal profile] clickclickbloom 2020-07-20 11:11 pm (UTC)(link)
[She's trying????? She just doesn't want any awkward silence during this whole bizarre boat stealing incident. And he had big buck teeth that were hard to miss. It's all she's got.]

Ye-ah. Big words and stuff.

[She has no idea what a norepinephrine is. Even if he explained it before it's gone in one ear and out the other.

She does thankfully miss all the blushing.]


No problemo-High praise. Like the highest praise I can think of at the moment-You should be super flattered.
clickclickbloom: (We can cry our lives away)

[personal profile] clickclickbloom 2020-07-21 01:05 am (UTC)(link)
Daylight! Great! That's super!

[She looks back to the two Townies who do NOT look impressed with them in the slightest.]

Isn't that good news?

[Huh. The guy operating the machine doesn't seem impressed with them either.

...Does he have security guards with him.]

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