Deerington inbox

[droptheious]

FROM: SUBJECT: FERN Ooo slang part the second FERN i think we just shared electrons, because i'm feeling a covalent bond between us LANCE Pidge, I need your help. I gotta send a meme to Chloe but ... DIPPER Hey Varian. You know those crazy alchemy bombs you used... PETER Hey Varian, this is Peter. Um, Peter Graham. USAGI Soooooooo~ How'd the date go? MAKO Varian— Checking in. SHIRO i think one of us put a chicken patty in my toaster EDDIE Hey. We need to talk. MELIUS 𝐻𝒾. 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒾𝓉 𝓁𝑜𝑜𝓀𝓈 𝓌𝑒𝒾𝓇𝒹 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓇𝓉 EDA Hey, kid. I... owe you an apology. LUZ Valentines MAUL I have a proposition for a project I think you'll be interested in USAGI I LOVE YOU FERN DUDE you still have your bandana! BUZZ Morning. I heard from Fern you wanted to go out into the blizzard. FERN dude your profile changed USAGI Ruby told me about the breakup. GLITCH Varian, I'm gonna go live somewhere else for now MAKO A "nerd" is somebody smart... MAUL Gifts FERN heeyyyy quick question FERN Christmas is coming up!!! CHLOE god who the FUCK ever thought emojis were a good idea??? KRISTOFF Varian,It's getting colder so I thought you could use this FERN heyyyy Variable RAPUNZEL okay not to put you on the spot but... EDA Potion time NEO Dude, I can mine antidote shit here! GLITCH Got this in my basket. EDA hey smart kid TEN Hallo ADAM Hey, k-- uh, Varian. I just wanted to check in USAGI I'm sorry I worried you and fainted on you yesterday. AMARA i lived, bitch NEO Debatably good news, asshole USAGI Hey Varian! It's Usagi OSCAR I'm sorry, Varian. Tell me what you need FERN a dark past huh MAUL Varian. I am in great need of your assistance FERN Varian VARIAN I CAN EAT FOOD USAGI How much moon essence do you have? USAGI VIVI-KUN, VIVI-KUN GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT! RICHIE well I promised FERN A TOTALLY INCOMPLETE LIST OF OOO WORDS 'N SLANG GLITCH VARIAN ARE THERE BUGS IN THE WATER?! USAGI To help with restless nights and the... VIRA-LORR Little alchemist. I have a gift for you. MARTIN Hi, Varian. This is Martin. I wanted to reach out... USAGI Hi Varian, sweetie! I have a question for you. GLITCH varian I need to talk to you. it's important. USAGI I need you not to panic after what I tell you. FERN dog you have so many vests IRONHIDE HONK HONK USAGI ... I'm sorry I couldn't help you better, Varian EMERALD Hey, V. Not that I care that much or anything... FERN tell me when you're alive FERN Varian i stabbed two people AMARA hey weirdo i have something for you FERN is the Rapunzel in town your Rapunzel? PENNY Salutations!! You do not know me, but my name is Penny Polendina YANG Hey, is this Varian? I think we've met once before. FERN hey can we talk FERN you told ruby MAUL Surviving another year is always an occasion worth celebrating USAGI Hey I wanted to apologise USAGI VARIAN-KUUUUNNN!!!! FERN birth MAUL Look what just arrived for me. KATHERINE Do you want to get paid to make more purple goo things? FERN ok i know you're good with plants but what about animals FERN dog interested in means girls or guys

TO: SUBJECT: USAGI So. Maul dropped by, he's got his memories back. ADAM I'm worried about Shiro FERN Hey handsome OSCAR You've been weirdly quiet lately FERN Guess what I haven't told you lately? USAGI Hey. I'm back from the dead and I feel like trash. FERN I made meatloaf that may or may not poison us! Emerald Hey. I know you probably don't want to talk to anyone right now... BELLA Hey Bella. You've dated someone who's a different species to you right? BILL Hi, Fern mentioned you were interested in interdimensional portals... FERN Aw, your pictures are nice! KURT Hey. Are you around? RICHIE Is it just me or is Eddie acting weirder than usual? QROW Hey. Checking up on you. EDA Hi Eda. Hope Ruddiger found you okay. GLITCH Hey. What happened between you and Maul? LUNA Luna- I uh... I think I need your help EDDIE So hey, I finally worked out how to replicate the Antidote OSCAR So, I noticed Ozpin has shown up. ROGUE Hey, I managed to replicate the Antidote KURT Hey. We're back. None of us are dead. QROW Uh... hey. How are you guys holding up? PETER You gave Ruby the haunted dolls GLITCH Hey, Bud. Sorry I tried to murder you with a robot KURT I'm probably the last person you want to talk to... JON I'm sorry I attacked you JON Stay away from Fern. FERN Hey you still haven't got me those baking ingredients FERN Okay so the Betties are upping their war... USAGI Hey. So. Update. NEO You tried to bury her alive? SERIOUSLY? USAGI Emotions are really difficult FERN OH MY GOD YOU HAVE ONE TOO FERN Okay this better be to Fern this time. WYNONNA So guess who got into the fridge and ate literally everything in there.

code by cawaii

Comments

[droptheious]

[He leans back on his workbench, folding his arms, a smirk playing across his face as he tries not to laugh. It's a losing battle, to be sure.]

You know, a part of me wants to see you struggle with this and let it be a lesson to you for trying to fit more gummy bears into your mouth than a human being can actually handle.

[A laugh escapes him anyway, a genuinely happy one. He moves from his leaning position to find her an empty bucket, handing it over.]

But equally, I don't want to see you choke on a metric ton of gummy bears and haunt my basement for the rest of time.

[clickclickbloom]

[She's trying really hard to get these down but it doesn't look like she's making any progress.

The fact that he's laughing is making her chuckle and snort under all these gummy bears.

Her eyes widen at the sight of the bucket. She's hates to waste good candy but she may have put herself in for a losing battle here. She takes the bucket and makes sure to stuff her face in it before spitting out the wad of gummy deliciousness.

RIP candy. She will miss you.

She pulls her face out and laughs.]

Ohhh phew! I mean... I'm pretty sure I could have taken them in the long run. They were starting to soften. Chips in the old armor if you will.

But-yeah. I guess that wouldn't exactly be the most pleasant ghost to have floating around. ...It would be a great story though.

[droptheious]

[For a hot second there, he really did think she was going to bloody-mindedly try to eat the giant wad of gummy bears and die the most pointless death in Deerinton history. Thankfully, she sees sense and relinquishes her gummy prize. ]

Huh-huh. I could tell. You were definitely winning that fight.

[She absolutely was not and they both know it. He snorts in amusement.]

Oh yeah, it would really compliment all the booby-traps. I'm sure your sister would love to hear the story of how I accidentally murdered you with gummy bears. Manslaughter? Probably manslaughter. Don't have that one on my rap sheet yet.

[clickclickbloom]

[Some things are worth dying for. As much as Ruby might say it would've been worth it. It definitely would not have been.]

Oh yeah. Had them on the ropes but decided mercy was the way to go.

[And she pops another gummy bear in her mouth like nothing happened.]

Jeez. Yeah that wouldn't be a good look. She'd probably be pretty upset that you exploited my one weakness like that.

...She also probably wouldn't be thrilled about the idea of a ghost me being down here all the time. Like a picture would probably do the trick.

[droptheious]

The benevolence you have shown the gummy bears today will surely be writ in the annals of history.

[And of course she's just gonna start eating gummy bears again. At least they're not the ones from the bucket. Small mercies. ]

I'm pretty sure that's knee-cap breaking territory right there and I'm still attached to that leg of mine at the moment. Maybe another time.

Yeah, there are way less spooky momentoes. [He'd rather not have your ghost hanging around, Ruby. Demi Moore he is not.]

So, does the staff have a name?

[clickclickbloom]

I would be disappointed if it wasn't. I'm a very merciful person when I want to be.

[She'd be lying if she didn't at least think about it. Maybe when he's not looking or when all the spit has dried.]

That's fair. We wouldn't anything to happen to old Righty unless it was totally necessary.

[She popped one more gummy bear in her mouth before answering.]

So I thought about naming it but I ended up deciding not to name it. Mainly because it's going to be your weapon and I think that's something for you to decide on. Really make it your own, you know what I mean?

[droptheious]

[Ruby, please. He can get you fresh bummy bears. ]

Old Righty needs to keep a-marching onwards.

[He considers this, turning the staff in his hands.]

I don't know, I'm pretty bad at naming things. I normally just name stuff I make after people I care about. I don't think I could manage something as poetic sounding as Cresent Rose.

[clickclickbloom]

[But she already has gummy bears right here?

She starts to fumble around with ideas when he says that.]

Oh come on. You can't be that bad at it if you're naming it after the people you care about. Why don't we try and come up with something together then?

[She eyes her creation and thinks about the people Varian cares about. There was Fern... But naming a gift from her after him was probably not a good sign. There was Rapunzel... She's forgetting someone here but we can overlook that, she's still getting used to that.

Either way an idea comes to mind.]

...What about Rhodium Raps?

You know... Because Rhodium's an element and you do alchemy and stuff and Raps for Rapunzel?

[droptheious]

Usually, it's their name and an "ium" at the end of it. It's really not as impressive as you're thinking.

[Fern would absolutely hate that forever and probably set fire to it. Still, that's a good name. It brings a soft smile to his face. Raps was the nickname Cassandra used for her- before everything went down the pan with them. And maybe, maybe one day they could get back on track again as he did with her. It's a good sign of hope- and lord knows Varian could use some more of that in his life. ]

Rhodium Raps. [He tests it out a little, waving it in the air.] You know, I think that fits.

[clickclickbloom]

Okay. That pretty simple, but that doesn't make it any less thoughtful. You still thought of your friends when you did it.

[Her expression brightens up when she seems him smile at the name. It was a shot in the dark but she was glad that she had picked something with a good ring to it.]

Well it sounds like we've got a winner. I can't wait to see you two in action together.

[droptheious]

I mean...sure, I guess. I never really got inventors who named stuff after themselves. Always seems kina egotistical. Why not name it after the people who inspired you to get there?

[He could go one for a solid hour about the properties of rhodium, but he restrains himself. You were saved this day, Ruby, be grateful. ]

Knowing this place, it won't be that far away. We've gotta be due the next nonsense before too long, right?