) |
FERN |
Ooo slang part the second |
) |
FERN |
i think we just shared electrons, because i'm feeling a covalent bond between us |
) |
LANCE |
Pidge, I need your help. I gotta send a meme to Chloe but ... |
) |
DIPPER |
Hey Varian. You know those crazy alchemy bombs you used... |
) |
PETER |
Hey Varian, this is Peter. Um, Peter Graham. |
) |
USAGI |
Soooooooo~ How'd the date go? |
) |
MAKO |
Varianβ Checking in. |
) |
SHIRO |
i think one of us put a chicken patty in my toaster |
) |
EDDIE |
Hey. We need to talk. |
) |
MELIUS |
π»πΎ. πΌ ππππ πΎπ πππππ πππΎππΉ πΆππΉ πΎπ πΎπ πππ ππ½πππ |
) |
EDA |
Hey, kid. I... owe you an apology. |
) |
LUZ |
Valentines |
) |
MAUL |
I have a proposition for a project I think you'll be interested in |
) |
USAGI |
I LOVE YOU |
) |
FERN |
DUDE you still have your bandana! |
) |
BUZZ |
Morning. I heard from Fern you wanted to go out into the blizzard. |
) |
FERN |
dude your profile changed |
) |
USAGI |
Ruby told me about the breakup. |
) |
GLITCH |
Varian, I'm gonna go live somewhere else for now |
) |
MAKO |
A "nerd" is somebody smart... |
) |
MAUL |
Gifts |
) |
FERN |
heeyyyy quick question |
) |
FERN |
Christmas is coming up!!! |
) |
CHLOE |
god who the FUCK ever thought emojis were a good idea??? |
) |
KRISTOFF |
Varian,It's getting colder so I thought you could use this |
) |
FERN |
heyyyy Variable |
) |
RAPUNZEL |
okay not to put you on the spot but... |
) |
EDA |
Potion time |
) |
NEO |
Dude, I can mine antidote shit here! |
) |
GLITCH |
Got this in my basket. |
) |
EDA |
hey smart kid |
) |
TEN |
Hallo |
) |
ADAM |
Hey, k-- uh, Varian. I just wanted to check in |
) |
USAGI |
I'm sorry I worried you and fainted on you yesterday. |
) |
AMARA |
i lived, bitch |
) |
NEO |
Debatably good news, asshole |
) |
USAGI |
Hey Varian! It's Usagi |
) |
OSCAR |
I'm sorry, Varian. Tell me what you need |
) |
FERN |
a dark past huh |
) |
MAUL |
Varian. I am in great need of your assistance |
) |
FERN |
Varian VARIAN I CAN EAT FOOD |
) |
USAGI |
How much moon essence do you have? |
) |
USAGI |
VIVI-KUN, VIVI-KUN GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT! |
) |
RICHIE |
well I promised |
) |
FERN |
A TOTALLY INCOMPLETE LIST OF OOO WORDS 'N SLANG |
) |
GLITCH |
VARIAN ARE THERE BUGS IN THE WATER?!
|
) |
USAGI |
To help with restless nights and the... |
) |
VIRA-LORR |
Little alchemist. I have a gift for you. |
) |
MARTIN |
Hi, Varian. This is Martin. I wanted to reach out... |
) |
USAGI |
Hi Varian, sweetie! I have a question for you. |
) |
GLITCH |
varian I need to talk to you. it's important. |
) |
USAGI |
I need you not to panic after what I tell you. |
) |
FERN |
dog you have so many vests |
) |
IRONHIDE |
HONK HONK |
) |
USAGI |
... I'm sorry I couldn't help you better, Varian |
) |
EMERALD |
Hey, V. Not that I care that much or anything... |
) |
FERN |
tell me when you're alive |
) |
FERN |
Varian i stabbed two people |
) |
AMARA |
hey weirdo i have something for you
|
) |
FERN |
is the Rapunzel in town your Rapunzel? |
) |
PENNY |
Salutations!! You do not know me, but my name is Penny Polendina |
) |
YANG |
Hey, is this Varian? I think we've met once before. |
) |
FERN |
hey can we talk |
) |
FERN |
you told ruby |
) |
MAUL |
Surviving another year is always an occasion worth celebrating |
) |
USAGI |
Hey I wanted to apologise |
) |
USAGI |
VARIAN-KUUUUNNN!!!! |
) |
FERN |
birth |
) |
MAUL |
Look what just arrived for me. |
) |
KATHERINE |
Do you want to get paid to make more purple goo things? |
) |
FERN |
ok i know you're good with plants but what about animals |
) |
FERN |
dog interested in means girls or guys |
voice | un: sharpshooter (blind misfire late may)
[He sounds very intoxicated, and an image is sent. It's a slightly blurry close-up of a cow's nose with some multicolored mice around the edges looking down at the camera in the foreground. One of the mice is holding a lit blunt.]
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1. Lance thinks he's calling Pidge for some reason.
2. Lance thinks Chloe is still in town.
3. Lance is VERY VERY drunk.
4. He still hasn't got a single salty clue how the fuck memes work.]
Uhhhhh not Pidge and really not well versed in the... meeems to really help you here. [He considers mentioning Chloe and then decides better of it.] Um. Are you okay? You don't sound okay.
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[A pause, and then he just forgets Varian said anything and proceeds to send another picture off of his fluid's archive, by now pretty practiced at the sequence of places he needs to tap in order to send a picture instead of accidentally end a call.]
Whaaaat 'bout this one? [Somehow, he sends two pictures one after the other instead:]
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...Nope. Still Varian.
[He's just staring at the pictures. He understands what all those words mean, but they make no sense in the context of the picture. ]
I- I don't know what I'm looking at. Why are the women mad at the cat? Why is the cat eating vegetables at a table? Why is she pointing?
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[Whether he understands this is still Varian he's talking to or not is unclear and up for debate. He sends another one:]
Wha's this one?
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[Look, at least Varian has been here long enough to know what Doritos, Mountain Dew and a blender are, but it doesn't mean that picture makes any damn sense to him.]
Okay well, elixir is misspelled for one. Also, that's not alchemy. That's some guy putting snack foods into a blender for some reason. Am I supposed to feels angry? Because that's the mood I'm currently feeling.
no subject
[Then he snort-laughs and it sounds like he was sipping on a drink as he did and coughs a little as some of it went down the wrong way.]
Maaaan, tha's why it's funny. Don' think bout if it makes sense, that's stupid.
no subject
[He doesn't understand any of this. Why is the future so stupid? Why can't they just say what they mean? ]
If it doesn't make sense then what's the point of it?
no subject
Who're you again?
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Varian! You literally called me, Lance!
no subject
... but I was callin Pidge...
no subject
But you didn't call Pidge. You called me. You're still calling me.
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no subject