Deerington inbox

[droptheious]

FROM: SUBJECT: FERN Ooo slang part the second FERN i think we just shared electrons, because i'm feeling a covalent bond between us LANCE Pidge, I need your help. I gotta send a meme to Chloe but ... DIPPER Hey Varian. You know those crazy alchemy bombs you used... PETER Hey Varian, this is Peter. Um, Peter Graham. USAGI Soooooooo~ How'd the date go? MAKO Varian— Checking in. SHIRO i think one of us put a chicken patty in my toaster EDDIE Hey. We need to talk. MELIUS 𝐻𝒾. 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒾𝓉 𝓁𝑜𝑜𝓀𝓈 𝓌𝑒𝒾𝓇𝒹 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓇𝓉 EDA Hey, kid. I... owe you an apology. LUZ Valentines MAUL I have a proposition for a project I think you'll be interested in USAGI I LOVE YOU FERN DUDE you still have your bandana! BUZZ Morning. I heard from Fern you wanted to go out into the blizzard. FERN dude your profile changed USAGI Ruby told me about the breakup. GLITCH Varian, I'm gonna go live somewhere else for now MAKO A "nerd" is somebody smart... MAUL Gifts FERN heeyyyy quick question FERN Christmas is coming up!!! CHLOE god who the FUCK ever thought emojis were a good idea??? KRISTOFF Varian,It's getting colder so I thought you could use this FERN heyyyy Variable RAPUNZEL okay not to put you on the spot but... EDA Potion time NEO Dude, I can mine antidote shit here! GLITCH Got this in my basket. EDA hey smart kid TEN Hallo ADAM Hey, k-- uh, Varian. I just wanted to check in USAGI I'm sorry I worried you and fainted on you yesterday. AMARA i lived, bitch NEO Debatably good news, asshole USAGI Hey Varian! It's Usagi OSCAR I'm sorry, Varian. Tell me what you need FERN a dark past huh MAUL Varian. I am in great need of your assistance FERN Varian VARIAN I CAN EAT FOOD USAGI How much moon essence do you have? USAGI VIVI-KUN, VIVI-KUN GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT! RICHIE well I promised FERN A TOTALLY INCOMPLETE LIST OF OOO WORDS 'N SLANG GLITCH VARIAN ARE THERE BUGS IN THE WATER?! USAGI To help with restless nights and the... VIRA-LORR Little alchemist. I have a gift for you. MARTIN Hi, Varian. This is Martin. I wanted to reach out... USAGI Hi Varian, sweetie! I have a question for you. GLITCH varian I need to talk to you. it's important. USAGI I need you not to panic after what I tell you. FERN dog you have so many vests IRONHIDE HONK HONK USAGI ... I'm sorry I couldn't help you better, Varian EMERALD Hey, V. Not that I care that much or anything... FERN tell me when you're alive FERN Varian i stabbed two people AMARA hey weirdo i have something for you FERN is the Rapunzel in town your Rapunzel? PENNY Salutations!! You do not know me, but my name is Penny Polendina YANG Hey, is this Varian? I think we've met once before. FERN hey can we talk FERN you told ruby MAUL Surviving another year is always an occasion worth celebrating USAGI Hey I wanted to apologise USAGI VARIAN-KUUUUNNN!!!! FERN birth MAUL Look what just arrived for me. KATHERINE Do you want to get paid to make more purple goo things? FERN ok i know you're good with plants but what about animals FERN dog interested in means girls or guys

TO: SUBJECT: USAGI So. Maul dropped by, he's got his memories back. ADAM I'm worried about Shiro FERN Hey handsome OSCAR You've been weirdly quiet lately FERN Guess what I haven't told you lately? USAGI Hey. I'm back from the dead and I feel like trash. FERN I made meatloaf that may or may not poison us! Emerald Hey. I know you probably don't want to talk to anyone right now... BELLA Hey Bella. You've dated someone who's a different species to you right? BILL Hi, Fern mentioned you were interested in interdimensional portals... FERN Aw, your pictures are nice! KURT Hey. Are you around? RICHIE Is it just me or is Eddie acting weirder than usual? QROW Hey. Checking up on you. EDA Hi Eda. Hope Ruddiger found you okay. GLITCH Hey. What happened between you and Maul? LUNA Luna- I uh... I think I need your help EDDIE So hey, I finally worked out how to replicate the Antidote OSCAR So, I noticed Ozpin has shown up. ROGUE Hey, I managed to replicate the Antidote KURT Hey. We're back. None of us are dead. QROW Uh... hey. How are you guys holding up? PETER You gave Ruby the haunted dolls GLITCH Hey, Bud. Sorry I tried to murder you with a robot KURT I'm probably the last person you want to talk to... JON I'm sorry I attacked you JON Stay away from Fern. FERN Hey you still haven't got me those baking ingredients FERN Okay so the Betties are upping their war... USAGI Hey. So. Update. NEO You tried to bury her alive? SERIOUSLY? USAGI Emotions are really difficult FERN OH MY GOD YOU HAVE ONE TOO FERN Okay this better be to Fern this time. WYNONNA So guess who got into the fridge and ate literally everything in there.

code by cawaii

Comments

Action; Backdated to his birthday

[survivalthroughhate]

[So, despite that trainwreck of a birthday announcement, Maul had in fact taken notice. He's always been one much more for actions rather then words when it comes to showing affection for someone. So he goes to the universal market, back to a stall he'd seen that had come from his own galaxy, and gotten something for Varian.

He'll find a small, unadorned box outside his front door. There's a note attached.]

Surviving another year is always an occasion worth celebrating.

[Within is a leather case with a space-themed steel ring. He thought it might be something Varian would enjoy given his propensity for science.]

[droptheious]

[Holy shit, Maul, this is a nice-ass ring! He might even decide to stop wearing his gloves ALL the time so he can enjoy it. He's definitely taking a glove on to try it on regardless. Nice.

Look, Maul, he'll even send you a message later. ]

Thanks for the present. It's really cool. Another year of existence, go me!

[survivalthroughhate]

[Maul, despite all odds, actually smiles when he sees Varian messaging him. What can he say? He doesn’t have a heart made of stone.]

I’m glad you liked it. I wasn’t sure if it was suited to your tastes or not.

[droptheious]

[Careful, Maul, people might think you're going soft.]

I love it! I've never had anything like this before, so I guess you just set the foundation of the tastes for me. Thanks, I really appreciate it.

[survivalthroughhate]

[Meh. He'll just have to lop off a few heads to show people he's still an evil wielder of the Dark Side of the Force.]

It was my pleasure. It's good to have cause to celebrate. I haven't done so in years.

[droptheious]

[Flawless plan, Maul.]

Well. Glad to give you a reason to.

[survivalthroughhate]

How old does that make you now?

[He knows Varian is a teen but that doesn't really narrow it down for him. Most teens just sort of look like unformed little potatoes to him, so he's never sure how old they are.]

[droptheious]

Sixteen, now. It's better than my fifteenth birthday which was spent in...y'know, jail, so I'll take it.

[That's Varian. A little unformed scrawny potato. ]

[survivalthroughhate]

I'm sure you have a magnificent story for why that was happening.

[He is still completely unsurprised that such a thing would have happened to Varian. He just seemed to lead the sort of life that occasionally involved ending up in jail.]

I don't quite remember what I was doing when I turned fifteen. It was likely spent killing someone.

[droptheious]

I wouldn't really call it magnificent. I'll tell you someday.

[Once you've jumped through the SIX MILLION HOOPS it takes to get to his tragic backstory.]

That about track with you.

[survivalthroughhate]

I'll hold you to that.

[It'll be quite the achievement unlocked when that happens.]

Am I really that predictable?

[droptheious]

I wouldn't say predictable as much as I'd say... charmingly consistent.

[survivalthroughhate]

How very flattering. You have such a way with words.

[droptheious]

What can I say? I'm a true wordsmith.