Deerington inbox

[droptheious]

FROM: SUBJECT: FERN Ooo slang part the second FERN i think we just shared electrons, because i'm feeling a covalent bond between us LANCE Pidge, I need your help. I gotta send a meme to Chloe but ... DIPPER Hey Varian. You know those crazy alchemy bombs you used... PETER Hey Varian, this is Peter. Um, Peter Graham. USAGI Soooooooo~ How'd the date go? MAKO Varian— Checking in. SHIRO i think one of us put a chicken patty in my toaster EDDIE Hey. We need to talk. MELIUS 𝐻𝒾. 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒾𝓉 𝓁𝑜𝑜𝓀𝓈 𝓌𝑒𝒾𝓇𝒹 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓇𝓉 EDA Hey, kid. I... owe you an apology. LUZ Valentines MAUL I have a proposition for a project I think you'll be interested in USAGI I LOVE YOU FERN DUDE you still have your bandana! BUZZ Morning. I heard from Fern you wanted to go out into the blizzard. FERN dude your profile changed USAGI Ruby told me about the breakup. GLITCH Varian, I'm gonna go live somewhere else for now MAKO A "nerd" is somebody smart... MAUL Gifts FERN heeyyyy quick question FERN Christmas is coming up!!! CHLOE god who the FUCK ever thought emojis were a good idea??? KRISTOFF Varian,It's getting colder so I thought you could use this FERN heyyyy Variable RAPUNZEL okay not to put you on the spot but... EDA Potion time NEO Dude, I can mine antidote shit here! GLITCH Got this in my basket. EDA hey smart kid TEN Hallo ADAM Hey, k-- uh, Varian. I just wanted to check in USAGI I'm sorry I worried you and fainted on you yesterday. AMARA i lived, bitch NEO Debatably good news, asshole USAGI Hey Varian! It's Usagi OSCAR I'm sorry, Varian. Tell me what you need FERN a dark past huh MAUL Varian. I am in great need of your assistance FERN Varian VARIAN I CAN EAT FOOD USAGI How much moon essence do you have? USAGI VIVI-KUN, VIVI-KUN GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT! RICHIE well I promised FERN A TOTALLY INCOMPLETE LIST OF OOO WORDS 'N SLANG GLITCH VARIAN ARE THERE BUGS IN THE WATER?! USAGI To help with restless nights and the... VIRA-LORR Little alchemist. I have a gift for you. MARTIN Hi, Varian. This is Martin. I wanted to reach out... USAGI Hi Varian, sweetie! I have a question for you. GLITCH varian I need to talk to you. it's important. USAGI I need you not to panic after what I tell you. FERN dog you have so many vests IRONHIDE HONK HONK USAGI ... I'm sorry I couldn't help you better, Varian EMERALD Hey, V. Not that I care that much or anything... FERN tell me when you're alive FERN Varian i stabbed two people AMARA hey weirdo i have something for you FERN is the Rapunzel in town your Rapunzel? PENNY Salutations!! You do not know me, but my name is Penny Polendina YANG Hey, is this Varian? I think we've met once before. FERN hey can we talk FERN you told ruby MAUL Surviving another year is always an occasion worth celebrating USAGI Hey I wanted to apologise USAGI VARIAN-KUUUUNNN!!!! FERN birth MAUL Look what just arrived for me. KATHERINE Do you want to get paid to make more purple goo things? FERN ok i know you're good with plants but what about animals FERN dog interested in means girls or guys

TO: SUBJECT: USAGI So. Maul dropped by, he's got his memories back. ADAM I'm worried about Shiro FERN Hey handsome OSCAR You've been weirdly quiet lately FERN Guess what I haven't told you lately? USAGI Hey. I'm back from the dead and I feel like trash. FERN I made meatloaf that may or may not poison us! Emerald Hey. I know you probably don't want to talk to anyone right now... BELLA Hey Bella. You've dated someone who's a different species to you right? BILL Hi, Fern mentioned you were interested in interdimensional portals... FERN Aw, your pictures are nice! KURT Hey. Are you around? RICHIE Is it just me or is Eddie acting weirder than usual? QROW Hey. Checking up on you. EDA Hi Eda. Hope Ruddiger found you okay. GLITCH Hey. What happened between you and Maul? LUNA Luna- I uh... I think I need your help EDDIE So hey, I finally worked out how to replicate the Antidote OSCAR So, I noticed Ozpin has shown up. ROGUE Hey, I managed to replicate the Antidote KURT Hey. We're back. None of us are dead. QROW Uh... hey. How are you guys holding up? PETER You gave Ruby the haunted dolls GLITCH Hey, Bud. Sorry I tried to murder you with a robot KURT I'm probably the last person you want to talk to... JON I'm sorry I attacked you JON Stay away from Fern. FERN Hey you still haven't got me those baking ingredients FERN Okay so the Betties are upping their war... USAGI Hey. So. Update. NEO You tried to bury her alive? SERIOUSLY? USAGI Emotions are really difficult FERN OH MY GOD YOU HAVE ONE TOO FERN Okay this better be to Fern this time. WYNONNA So guess who got into the fridge and ate literally everything in there.

code by cawaii

Comments

Potion time: at Varian's house, late November

[owllady]

[ Eda touches down in front of the odd looking house. It has the right number on it, so she must be in the right spot. This is her kind of house. She wishes her house was like this, but it's still falling apart. She's only managed to enchant her door so far. The rest needs more concentration than she has this month.

That's a nice tower.

She wants to steal that tower.

With a wry smile, she knocks on the door ]

[droptheious]

[Eda, you can't steal their tower. It's their Chill The Fuck Out space. Varian opens the door, still on his crutches at the moment - he offers Eda a welcoming smile. Isn't it nice to have people actually happy to see you, Eda? ]

Hey! Glad you could make it. Come on in.

[He awkwardly shuffles his way in.]

You ready to learn something cool?

[owllady]

Ready to learn how to keep myself from turning into a monster, sure.

[ Eda follows after him, looking around at the house ] How's the leg?

[droptheious]

I'd consider that very cool. No one wants to turn into a monster, especially here.

[That's how he lost the leg in the first place, after all. He shrugs, as he nudges open the big door to his lab- starting the slow and slightly awkward descent downstairs to his alchemy lab.]

Still non-existent. Not expecting it back any time. But the new one I'm making is coming along nicely.

[owllady]

Hah. You got that right. Don't really want it ever, personally.

[ She trails behind him with a little frown. ]

How long's that gonna take? You we can take Owlbert down these stairs.

[droptheious]

Not long! A week or two, tops. Then I've gotta get used to it, but I'm sure I'll be fine. I've got a lot of bloody-minded stubbornness on my side.

[SPEAKING OF.]

I'll be fine. Don't worry. I gotta get used to doing it on my own.

[So he'll continue sloooooowly going down the stone steps to his lab. Once they get down there, it's pretty active- though it's clear it's not been used for a while. Varian hobbles over to one of the workbenches, where some beakers were waiting.]

And here's where the not-literal magic happens.

[owllady]

If you say so. [ She points out. She isn't actually mad about the slow pace. Her body is still tired all the time from this stupid Deathflu. ]

See, in my world, potions are magic. I was a potions major. On paper.

[droptheious]

[It's a win for both of them, Eda can pretend she's going easy for his sake and not have to display any weakness. Good times.]

Eh, I guess so. In some worlds. Not mine. But hey, if you're good at potions, then this should be a breeze for you.

[What he can do borders so close to magic it might as well be that, but he'd rather eat his remaining leg than say that out loud. He picks up a little flacon of elixir, beaming, clearly pleased with this. He's in his element and this makes him genuinely happy. ]

Anyway. I did some testing to break down your elixir into its basic chemical makeup! It's a little like a jigsaw. Once you know what the pieces are, all you need to do is fit them together.

[owllady]

Yeah, yeah. I'm alright at them. This one... takes a lot, back home. [ There's a reason she never made it herself, even though she has a potions business. It's hard and takes forever, and the ingredients are expensive and hard to find on her own. And she had an agreement with the potions guy. ]

Hm, alright. I just care that it keeps me from getting feathery.

[droptheious]

I guess I can understand that. Especially if you can't get access to the right ingredients. That's always a kicker. It's nowhere near as hard as the Moon essence here, though- that's a nightmare.

[He excitedly starts babbling about the chemical components that make of her elixir- lots of 'odiums' and 'iodes' and the like. His tones suggests this is easy but it's... probably not. Varian often forgets what's simple alchemy to him is incomprehensible nonsense to most other people. ]

Anyway. I wrote a list of the flora around here where you can extract what you need- also a couple of chemical compounds that are relatively easy to get hold of.

[owllady]

[ Bleh, science talk. Eda tunes him out, looking around the lab.

She was a nerd once, but never this kind of nerd. She likes the more practical magic. She likes learning things so she can use it.

She tunes back in when he stops talking and blinks at him. ] Uh... huh? Extract-a-what?

[droptheious]

[Varian is pretty used to people tuning out to him. It's a fairly regular occurrence both here and back home. He's usually too deep into The Science to notice it happening at the time, but he knows the sings once he's finished. He folds his arms, raising one eyebrow skyward.]

Did you get anything of what I just said?

[owllady]

Was any of it important? [ Eda asks with a shrug of her shoulder. ] Just show me the recipe. I got this.

[droptheious]

Uh, yes? I was explaining what makes up your elixir.

[It's SUPER important, Eda, wow!! With a little huff, he hands her a parchment. It has a lot of chemical names on it.]

I wrote it down too. Anyway. I can go step by step, but now I'm concerned about how much I need to hold back on the big words for you.

[owllady]

[ Eda nods her head, looking at the piece of paper ] Yeah, this is why I never did this. This looks hard. [ She grimaces ] I can handle big words, but not big words for big words sake. There's gotta be a better word for "triglyceride."

[droptheious]

Well, yeah, it's not easy. There's a reason it took me a while... uh, other than the healing thing, anyway.

[He's just giving her the biggest disappointed face ever.]

Why would there be? When that's what they are? It's like saying there's an easier word for cat.

[It's not. ]

[owllady]

Cat is a pretty easy word, kid. [ Eda laughs, leaning on her staff. ] Let's get to making this thing! I want to see this science thing you keep going on about.

[droptheious]

So is triglyceride.

[Varian, no. He starts gathering a few vials, happily chattering away to her as he adds various chemicals into the mix- some at least do come from plants- he has a little potting shed for just such ingredients. It's long and complicated, but he does it with such enthusiasm. ]

Anyway! Once you boil down the ragwort and add it to the rest of the mixture, you need to leave it at 98 degrees for an hour - then you need to bring the temperature down gradually. You'll notice the colour change to the yellow- then you'll know it's done.

[LEARNING IS FUN!!???!!]

[owllady]

Sure thing, triglyceride. [ Is that going to be Varian's new nickname?

Yes. Yes it is.

She listens, more raptly this time, to his instructions, and grimaces. ] A whole hour? Ugh. Okay. I can do that. Maybe I should just have had you do it

[droptheious]

Is- is that something you're calling me now? Or are you just acknowledging an ingredient?

[The real question here is does he actually want the answer.]

Well, yes. It's a complicated mixture. It takes patience and time.

[owllady]

What? [ Casually not hearing that question ]

Ugh, fine. I'll learn it. You got any back up for me while I figure it out? Wouldn't want to bite ya.

[droptheious]

...Right. I'm gonna take the non-answer as an answer.

[Look! He's starting to speak Eda!]

Yes, I've made sure to create a few more just in case. You never can tell with Deerington. It might just make you turn on a whim. Sodder can get like that sometimes.

[owllady]

Great. That's just what I want to hear. [ Eda sighs, looking down at the instructions. ] Guess I got my work cut out of me. At least there's not much else to do here.

[droptheious]

No there's not. Once you get used to it, I promise it's relatively easy. I mean, it's not as complicated as the Antidote here, at least? That... that was supposed to be comforting.

[owllady]

[ Eda snorts a laugh ] Sure. Comforting. [ She claps him on the back, probably too hard because she forgets that he only has one leg. ] I'll try it out. I used to be good at this stuff. I'm just... rusty. Yep.