droptheious | Deerington inbox

Deerington inbox

FROM:

SUBJECT:

	FERN	Ooo slang part the second
	FERN	i think we just shared electrons, because i'm feeling a covalent bond between us
	LANCE	Pidge, I need your help. I gotta send a meme to Chloe but ...
	DIPPER	Hey Varian. You know those crazy alchemy bombs you used...
	PETER	Hey Varian, this is Peter. Um, Peter Graham.
	USAGI	Soooooooo~ How'd the date go?
	MAKO	Varian— Checking in.
	SHIRO	i think one of us put a chicken patty in my toaster
	EDDIE	Hey. We need to talk.
	MELIUS	𝐻𝒾. 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒾𝓉 𝓁𝑜𝑜𝓀𝓈 𝓌𝑒𝒾𝓇𝒹 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓇𝓉
	EDA	Hey, kid. I... owe you an apology.
	LUZ	Valentines
	MAUL	I have a proposition for a project I think you'll be interested in
	USAGI	I LOVE YOU
	FERN	DUDE you still have your bandana!
	BUZZ	Morning. I heard from Fern you wanted to go out into the blizzard.
	FERN	dude your profile changed
	USAGI	Ruby told me about the breakup.
	GLITCH	Varian, I'm gonna go live somewhere else for now
	MAKO	A "nerd" is somebody smart...
	MAUL	Gifts
	FERN	heeyyyy quick question
	FERN	Christmas is coming up!!!
	CHLOE	god who the FUCK ever thought emojis were a good idea???
	KRISTOFF	Varian,It's getting colder so I thought you could use this
	FERN	heyyyy Variable
	RAPUNZEL	okay not to put you on the spot but...
	EDA	Potion time
	NEO	Dude, I can mine antidote shit here!
	GLITCH	Got this in my basket.
	EDA	hey smart kid
	TEN	Hallo
	ADAM	Hey, k-- uh, Varian. I just wanted to check in
	USAGI	I'm sorry I worried you and fainted on you yesterday.
	AMARA	i lived, bitch
	NEO	Debatably good news, asshole
	USAGI	Hey Varian! It's Usagi
	OSCAR	I'm sorry, Varian. Tell me what you need
	FERN	a dark past huh
	MAUL	Varian. I am in great need of your assistance
	FERN	Varian VARIAN I CAN EAT FOOD
	USAGI	How much moon essence do you have?
	USAGI	VIVI-KUN, VIVI-KUN GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT!
	RICHIE	well I promised
	FERN	A TOTALLY INCOMPLETE LIST OF OOO WORDS 'N SLANG
	GLITCH	VARIAN ARE THERE BUGS IN THE WATER?!
	USAGI	To help with restless nights and the...
	VIRA-LORR	Little alchemist. I have a gift for you.
	MARTIN	Hi, Varian. This is Martin. I wanted to reach out...
	USAGI	Hi Varian, sweetie! I have a question for you.
	GLITCH	varian I need to talk to you. it's important.
	USAGI	I need you not to panic after what I tell you.
	FERN	dog you have so many vests
	IRONHIDE	HONK HONK
	USAGI	... I'm sorry I couldn't help you better, Varian
	EMERALD	Hey, V. Not that I care that much or anything...
	FERN	tell me when you're alive
	FERN	Varian i stabbed two people
	AMARA	hey weirdo i have something for you
	FERN	is the Rapunzel in town your Rapunzel?
	PENNY	Salutations!! You do not know me, but my name is Penny Polendina
	YANG	Hey, is this Varian? I think we've met once before.
	FERN	hey can we talk
	FERN	you told ruby
	MAUL	Surviving another year is always an occasion worth celebrating
	USAGI	Hey I wanted to apologise
	USAGI	VARIAN-KUUUUNNN!!!!
	FERN	birth
	MAUL	Look what just arrived for me.
	KATHERINE	Do you want to get paid to make more purple goo things?
	FERN	ok i know you're good with plants but what about animals
	FERN	dog interested in means girls or guys

TO:

SUBJECT:

	USAGI	So. Maul dropped by, he's got his memories back.
	ADAM	I'm worried about Shiro
	FERN	Hey handsome
	OSCAR	You've been weirdly quiet lately
	FERN	Guess what I haven't told you lately?
	USAGI	Hey. I'm back from the dead and I feel like trash.
	FERN	I made meatloaf that may or may not poison us!
	Emerald	Hey. I know you probably don't want to talk to anyone right now...
	BELLA	Hey Bella. You've dated someone who's a different species to you right?
	BILL	Hi, Fern mentioned you were interested in interdimensional portals...
	FERN	Aw, your pictures are nice!
	KURT	Hey. Are you around?
	RICHIE	Is it just me or is Eddie acting weirder than usual?
	QROW	Hey. Checking up on you.
	EDA	Hi Eda. Hope Ruddiger found you okay.
	GLITCH	Hey. What happened between you and Maul?
	LUNA	Luna- I uh... I think I need your help
	EDDIE	So hey, I finally worked out how to replicate the Antidote
	OSCAR	So, I noticed Ozpin has shown up.
	ROGUE	Hey, I managed to replicate the Antidote
	KURT	Hey. We're back. None of us are dead.
	QROW	Uh... hey. How are you guys holding up?
	PETER	You gave Ruby the haunted dolls
	GLITCH	Hey, Bud. Sorry I tried to murder you with a robot
	KURT	I'm probably the last person you want to talk to...
	JON	I'm sorry I attacked you
	JON	Stay away from Fern.
	FERN	Hey you still haven't got me those baking ingredients
	FERN	Okay so the Betties are upping their war...
	USAGI	Hey. So. Update.
	NEO	You tried to bury her alive? SERIOUSLY?
	USAGI	Emotions are really difficult
	FERN	OH MY GOD YOU HAVE ONE TOO
	FERN	Okay this better be to Fern this time.
	WYNONNA	So guess who got into the fridge and ate literally everything in there.

code by

cawaii

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only | Expand All

Soooooooo~

How'd the date go?

[Oh, geez. He offers an awkward smile to the camera, rubbing the back of his neck.]

Pr-pretty good! I think. I definitely need to work on my flirting, but it was nice! We got to murder a giant worm together. He seemed pretty happy about that. It was nice. Seeing him happy.

I mean, you're already dating, you don't necessarily have to work on your flirting. I guess if it's something you want to master, though. Flirting can be really fun too!

[He casts the Fluid a flat look.]

I asked him about going on a date to kill a murder worm and started talking about acid sacs, Usagi.

Acid. Sacs.

I definitely need to get better at that. I wanna do that for him.

Well that is... definitely YOU! And really, Fern started dating you because you're you.

But! Maybe I can help~ I don't know that I'm an expert at it [She is, actually, unintentional flirt that she is.] but I do know some things!

Would you like to try with me?

I... well, yeah, I guess there is that? And I guess he finds it endearing or... something. Not completely awful, anyway?

[He appreciates Fern so much. He's a good bean.]

W-well, you do have a guy back home, right? So I'm gonna guess you have some practice with it? Any help you can give me would be awesome.

My "guy back home" is named Mamoru and he is my fiancé who also happens to be my soul mate, Varian.

But let's practice. How would you tell Fern that you find his hair looks really nice today?

Yeah, of course! Soul mate and... all that. That's... a really nice way of putting it.

[Does he consider Fern his soul mate? Absolutely! Is he so good at putting those into actual words? Not really.]

Oh...um. I'd normally point out whatever flora he was growing in it at the time and what they can do? [Varian, honey. No.] It's pretty cool, what he grows changes with the seasons. Sometimes his emotions, too.

I... Varian, sweetie, do you know what a soul mate is?

[She's... pretty sure she and Mamoru have a very different situation than he and Fern in terms of "how they met" among many other things, but if Varian feels that deeply in love with Fern, she's glad for him.]

No... Varian... don't- that is don't TELL me what you would do, actually SAY what you would say. No one here is doubting how much you find Fern attractive. Here. [She reaches up and undoes the bobby pins in her hair and reaches over to her vanity, clipping some flower clips into her hair as it falls to the ground.] I'm not using my disguise pen to turn into Fern so you'll have to settle for this.

Now, what would you actually SAY?

Oh, yeah. Rapunzel and Eugene go on about it all the time. It's someone you love a lot and it's like... you're destined to be together, because you're that perfect for one another.

[Stanard Disney Response to that one.

And oh. Oh geez, he didn't know that's what she meant and a little blush crosses his cheeks, oh boy, oh wow. Okay. ]

Hah, yeah please don't- don't make this any weirder than it already is. [He clears his throat.] I'm not very good at acting.

[Not when he's not actively manipulating someone into committing treason, anyway. God, he wants to die already. ]

I- um. Y-your hair looks really great today? Those Dianthus caryophyllus are pretty neat? They're used for fragrance in alcohol? Cool right?

Well... yes, actually. See, Mamoru and I were literally reincarnated and found our way back to one another. So that's exactly right!

Good... ah- no- wait! Okay.... um so a couple of notes. I think I see where things tend to go... less romantic for you. You have a really strong start and then sorta... fumble at the end. Try this, one, use the common name of things, the only reason I even KNOW you're talking about my pink carnations is because I put them in. Second, just stop after your second sentence.

If Fern wants to know more about something he's growing, he can ask you, then you can have more to talk about.

Let's try again.

Still pretending I'm Fern, compliment me on my sword skills. I uh just slayed a "donk" monster. [Forgive her, Fern.]

Yeah. I mean, Rapunzel and Eugene aren't exactly... there- and I'm not the biggest fan of the idea of destiny or... whatever. But if he hadn't chosen that particular part of the forest to hide in and then climbed up into her tower... well. She'd probably still be in there.

[And where would the rest of them be? He doesn't know. He'd be less damaged, to be sure, but far lonelier.

He nods, taking Usagi's notes on board. Right. Okay.]

Sooooo, you're saying I should stop the... uh, the rambling?

[That feels easier said than done. He does snort a little at her use of the word donk though. Luckily for her, he's never going to tell Fern this conversation ever happened, so her secret is safe with him. Varian really enjoys watching Fern beat up monsters - it makes his heart do all kind of flippity-flops. But this is Usagi and not Fern, so he's he might be able to navigate it a little better.]

That was amazing! You really showed that... donk monster a thing or two. You swing a sword real good?

[Or... you know. Not that.]

I'm saying you should stop the rambling yes, or at least attempt to, cause you're you and well, you ramble the way I eat. [Constantly and frequently and endlessly.]

But that just makes you you! It's not that you CAN'T ramble, just not when you want to flirt. Flirting needs to be sincere and focused. You're able to be both, so you can do this. Look, I get it, I'd get lost in Mamo-chan's eyes ALL the time.

But yes, that was good, it's a great start! Why don't you tell me, Fern, why you like seeing me swing a sword.

H-hey! That's- that's only mostly true.

[It's completely true and they both know it. ]

But yeah, it's... that's hard. I kinda stumble on the words around him sometimes. He's really handsome.

[Even if he might be the only person who sees it. He doesn't care. That's their loss. And, oh geez, trying to find words that make sense without resorting to pure science is hard. A nervous laugh escapes him.]

Oh- uh. W-well, it just reminds me how strong he-you are. Like-like a real knight in shining armour. Green armour. It's cooool.

I mean, believe me, I get being absolutely dazzled by the person you love. Mamo-chan makes me so tongue-tied, but Mamo-chan is smooth as can be and helps me loosen it. So now I get tongue-tied on purpose. [Why yes, Varian, your sister-expy is telling you all about how much she enjoys being snogged.]

Good! That's great! No rambling that time. You're doing much better now.

Yeah. It's just sometimes I look at him and my mind kinda turns to treacle and-

[...

Processing what she just said.

P R O C E S S I N G]

[The penny drops with a solid BANG, and a blush overtakes his features pretty damn quickly. He buries his face in his hands, letting out a long teenage whine of mortification.]

Stuff I didn't need to know! Stuff I didn't need to know!!!

[He doesn't want that mental image!! No sir! No thanks!!!]

Well, you're going to have get used to this kind of talk with someone, Varian. Especially if you and Fern decided to become sexually active at some point.

[Why is this happening to him. Why is this happening to him? He thought practising flirting with his quasi-sister here would be as awkward as it could possibly get.

TURNS OUT HE WAS SO VERY, VERY WRONG.]

[He's sinking further in his chair, slowly disappearing offscreen.]

Ooooooooh noooooo you're making it worse. We only just worked out kissing. Regular kissing. And that took us like- four months. We're- we're really not there yet. Oh god, are we supposed to be there yet?

Woah woah, it's okay, I promise I'll stop. [For now.] There is no set pace Vivi. Some couples go fast, some go slow, some choose to not go there at all. It's up to what is comfortable for you and your partner, this is the same for you and Fern. No one should feel pressured to rush into anything they're not ready for.

Mamo-chan and I had a very long and serious conversation before we decided to go all the way, we both had to feel ready emotionally and physically before we decided to share ourselves like that with one another.

So if you and Fern are at kissing and hand-holding right now, then that is what you're ready for. Go at what feels best for you both and no one else.

[Sorry, Usagi, Varian's currently having a quiet, internal freak out that he's managed to miss out on some unwritten relationship rules. Unless they ARE written. Oh man, they're probably written down somewhere and he just never took the time to read them because he doesn't know what he's doing here- as evidenced by his awful, awful flirting. Maybe he should go to the library and-

Usagi's words are finally seeping through past the panic and he sloooooowly raises his face back to the screen. He's still red-faced, but there's a twinge of relief there, too. Oh, boy is he for sure not ready for any of that yet. ]

Oh-okay. C-cool. Good to know. Thanks for clarifying. [He lets out a nervous little hah-hah laugh.] At least me and Fern are good at that? The... talking thing? Yay us?

[Yay them.]

But yeah- you don't have to worry about that for... a while. I am definitely not ready for that yet.

And here I thought you were bragging you're a good kisser. [Back to teasing.]

But talking is good. In fact, talking is going to be the most important thing to make sure your relationship stays healthy and successful. Well, talking... AND listening. You both need to hear what each other is saying... even if... Fern uses a lot of slang I have no idea what it means.

You know, it's honestly okay if you're NEVER ready for it or if you're ready for it tomorrow. Like I said, Varian, your pace is for you and you alone to be okay with. Not even Fern gets a say in how comfortable you are with how fast or slow things are going, and vice versa.

Hahaha- oh, god no. The first time I tried to kiss him, I ended up choking on a mouthful of grass.

[Romantic, it definitely was not.]

We're good at that, too. Listening to each other. We've been best friends way longer than we've been dating, we got the whole communication thing down to a fine art by now. And it's ok, he gave me a dictionary for all the Ooo slang.

...But yeah, I know. And I know Fern would never rush me on that. I know he's pretty volatile in... almost everything, but he's always patient with me with the whole... romance thing.

Video; Private UN: Feedthebunny (Pre-dated to After Fern and Varian's date)

video: UN: trienemybest

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