Deerington inbox

[droptheious]

FROM: SUBJECT: FERN Ooo slang part the second FERN i think we just shared electrons, because i'm feeling a covalent bond between us LANCE Pidge, I need your help. I gotta send a meme to Chloe but ... DIPPER Hey Varian. You know those crazy alchemy bombs you used... PETER Hey Varian, this is Peter. Um, Peter Graham. USAGI Soooooooo~ How'd the date go? MAKO Varian— Checking in. SHIRO i think one of us put a chicken patty in my toaster EDDIE Hey. We need to talk. MELIUS 𝐻𝒾. 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒾𝓉 𝓁𝑜𝑜𝓀𝓈 𝓌𝑒𝒾𝓇𝒹 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓇𝓉 EDA Hey, kid. I... owe you an apology. LUZ Valentines MAUL I have a proposition for a project I think you'll be interested in USAGI I LOVE YOU FERN DUDE you still have your bandana! BUZZ Morning. I heard from Fern you wanted to go out into the blizzard. FERN dude your profile changed USAGI Ruby told me about the breakup. GLITCH Varian, I'm gonna go live somewhere else for now MAKO A "nerd" is somebody smart... MAUL Gifts FERN heeyyyy quick question FERN Christmas is coming up!!! CHLOE god who the FUCK ever thought emojis were a good idea??? KRISTOFF Varian,It's getting colder so I thought you could use this FERN heyyyy Variable RAPUNZEL okay not to put you on the spot but... EDA Potion time NEO Dude, I can mine antidote shit here! GLITCH Got this in my basket. EDA hey smart kid TEN Hallo ADAM Hey, k-- uh, Varian. I just wanted to check in USAGI I'm sorry I worried you and fainted on you yesterday. AMARA i lived, bitch NEO Debatably good news, asshole USAGI Hey Varian! It's Usagi OSCAR I'm sorry, Varian. Tell me what you need FERN a dark past huh MAUL Varian. I am in great need of your assistance FERN Varian VARIAN I CAN EAT FOOD USAGI How much moon essence do you have? USAGI VIVI-KUN, VIVI-KUN GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT! RICHIE well I promised FERN A TOTALLY INCOMPLETE LIST OF OOO WORDS 'N SLANG GLITCH VARIAN ARE THERE BUGS IN THE WATER?! USAGI To help with restless nights and the... VIRA-LORR Little alchemist. I have a gift for you. MARTIN Hi, Varian. This is Martin. I wanted to reach out... USAGI Hi Varian, sweetie! I have a question for you. GLITCH varian I need to talk to you. it's important. USAGI I need you not to panic after what I tell you. FERN dog you have so many vests IRONHIDE HONK HONK USAGI ... I'm sorry I couldn't help you better, Varian EMERALD Hey, V. Not that I care that much or anything... FERN tell me when you're alive FERN Varian i stabbed two people AMARA hey weirdo i have something for you FERN is the Rapunzel in town your Rapunzel? PENNY Salutations!! You do not know me, but my name is Penny Polendina YANG Hey, is this Varian? I think we've met once before. FERN hey can we talk FERN you told ruby MAUL Surviving another year is always an occasion worth celebrating USAGI Hey I wanted to apologise USAGI VARIAN-KUUUUNNN!!!! FERN birth MAUL Look what just arrived for me. KATHERINE Do you want to get paid to make more purple goo things? FERN ok i know you're good with plants but what about animals FERN dog interested in means girls or guys

TO: SUBJECT: USAGI So. Maul dropped by, he's got his memories back. ADAM I'm worried about Shiro FERN Hey handsome OSCAR You've been weirdly quiet lately FERN Guess what I haven't told you lately? USAGI Hey. I'm back from the dead and I feel like trash. FERN I made meatloaf that may or may not poison us! Emerald Hey. I know you probably don't want to talk to anyone right now... BELLA Hey Bella. You've dated someone who's a different species to you right? BILL Hi, Fern mentioned you were interested in interdimensional portals... FERN Aw, your pictures are nice! KURT Hey. Are you around? RICHIE Is it just me or is Eddie acting weirder than usual? QROW Hey. Checking up on you. EDA Hi Eda. Hope Ruddiger found you okay. GLITCH Hey. What happened between you and Maul? LUNA Luna- I uh... I think I need your help EDDIE So hey, I finally worked out how to replicate the Antidote OSCAR So, I noticed Ozpin has shown up. ROGUE Hey, I managed to replicate the Antidote KURT Hey. We're back. None of us are dead. QROW Uh... hey. How are you guys holding up? PETER You gave Ruby the haunted dolls GLITCH Hey, Bud. Sorry I tried to murder you with a robot KURT I'm probably the last person you want to talk to... JON I'm sorry I attacked you JON Stay away from Fern. FERN Hey you still haven't got me those baking ingredients FERN Okay so the Betties are upping their war... USAGI Hey. So. Update. NEO You tried to bury her alive? SERIOUSLY? USAGI Emotions are really difficult FERN OH MY GOD YOU HAVE ONE TOO FERN Okay this better be to Fern this time. WYNONNA So guess who got into the fridge and ate literally everything in there.

code by cawaii

Comments

[clickclickbloom]

Your funeral.

See. I knew you'd understand. Commandeering a vessel from so no good land lovers is like pirating 101.

[She keeps a step behind him as he approached the boat. ...Her eyes go wide and she can't help but let out half gasp, half laugh at what they just saw.

...On the bright side the two teens had stopped doing what they were doing so Ruby feels no guilt as she climbs aboard and offers Varian a hand.]

Wow. Well- This is the part where Yang would make some kind of pun about booty.

Yeeeesh. Atleast we know for know for next time, huh?

[droptheious]

Arrg.

[That is the driest, least pirate-y voice ever uttered. He didn't even try.

He does, however, snort about the booty comment because he's a sixteen-year-old boy and that's where his humour level is at sometimes. He takes Ruby's hand, clambering in next to her. Guess the mood has been ruined for two sets of teens today. He's not sorry, they're townspeople, they don't deserve to have fun anyway. ]

I mean, I still don't get it? You can't even see each other's faces. Besides, I really think we need to work better on our aim before we try this in the pitch black. I might take out one of your eyeballs.

[clickclickbloom]

[See that's why Ruby keeps Varian around. He appreciates her high quality booty jokes. She starts to wring out her clothes as best she can, sorry townspeople. The boats taking on a bit of water now.]

I dunno? Maybe people like the danger of protentional concussions? Like an adrenaline high but for kissing?

Yeah. Practice makes perfect, right? I kind of like my eyes where they are right now.

[droptheious]

[He's still trying to get his hair into any semblance of normality, waterlogged as it is. Sorry, townie teens, not sorry. ]

I mean, sure, I guess? Still seems better ways to get around that. And yeah, I like your eyes just as they are too, they're perfect as is.

[He blushes, clearing his throat and looking at the ceiling. ]

Um- yeah.

[clickclickbloom]

Like a roller coaster?

[...Because honestly she didn't mind that all that much.]

Oh-Yeah-I mean I like them a whole lot. Your's aren't half bad either-you're teeth uh-really bring them out when you smile.

I mean if I was paying attention to things like that.

[droptheious]

[A nervous laugh bubbles out of him, because yeah. YEAH. That rush of adrenaline sure made him jump in both feet first. ]

Y-yeah. It would be a surge of adrenaline coupled with norepinephrine and- stop talking me.

[He's seriously considering just... dunking himself back in the skank water. It would be better than all this awkward emotion screeching in his brain. At least it's dark enough that she probably can't see how much he's blushing. ]

Oo-oh. T-thanks, I think? [People don't normally find THE TEETH all that attractive.] And yeah, 'course.

[clickclickbloom]

[She's trying????? She just doesn't want any awkward silence during this whole bizarre boat stealing incident. And he had big buck teeth that were hard to miss. It's all she's got.]

Ye-ah. Big words and stuff.

[She has no idea what a norepinephrine is. Even if he explained it before it's gone in one ear and out the other.

She does thankfully miss all the blushing.]

No problemo-High praise. Like the highest praise I can think of at the moment-You should be super flattered.

[droptheious]

Big words.

[He probably has, in one of his awkward, rambling attempts to explain how she makes him feel because it makes more sense to him than "you give me the doki-dokis". ]

I am. Uh. Super flattered. Oh- look. Daylight. That's good.

[clickclickbloom]

Daylight! Great! That's super!

[She looks back to the two Townies who do NOT look impressed with them in the slightest.]

Isn't that good news?

[Huh. The guy operating the machine doesn't seem impressed with them either.

...Does he have security guards with him.]

[droptheious]

[You know, the sight of security guards would probably put off most teenagers, but Varian's smile grows at the sight of them.]

Hey! Looks like I can tick the amusement park off my list.

[But wait. Who is waiting with them? His cold eyes upon them. Lurking in the shadows? Is it... Shia LaBeouf????!!.

No. It's Mr.Fluffers! Varian looks less pleased to see him.]

...Oh. The hell rabbit made it to the other end, too. Great.

[clickclickbloom]

[Ruby throws her hands up in the air in excitement.]

Woo! We did it!

[Wait. Give her a second. She blinks.]

Wait you have a list for that? Awesome.

[Ruby's reaction is basically the polar opposite. She moves to the end of the boat and holds out her arms in Mr.Fluffers direction as they slowly drift closer to the horror bunny.]

Mr.Fluffers You're okay! Thank goodness!

[droptheious]

It's a work in progress. That's two places now.

[Mr. Fluffers is there to fall into her waiting arms. Reunited again! The security guards are there to haul both Varian and Ruby off the boat as the townie kids stomp off, yelling about how their date has been ruined. ]

...So glad the rabbit is still here. So. So glad.

[clickclickbloom]

Oh-Was the first the movie theater? Ha-! I remember you telling me about that.

[You know after he snuck back in to watch the rest of the Jurassic Park with her.

She gladly holds Mr.Fluffers tight as they're finally reunited. She had missed the little creeper so much.

Security is just going to usher them out toward the main gates. Not even giving them a towel to dry themselves off. The townies are just so rude.]

Awwwww. I knew you like him.

[How Varian actually feels about Mr.Fluffers.






Ruby's head.

Or maybe she was just going to hide the creepy stuffed animal in his apartment just to mess with him.]

[droptheious]

It was, but I still say the owner was just not accepting of scientific learning.

[Or didn't enjoy teenagers breaking and entering his establishment. That too. And now he can add the amusement park to the list as the gates close behind them. Fucking rude.

He turns to look at the horrible, horrible rabbit.]

Oh yeah. I love him. He's the best thing ever.

[clickclickbloom]

So these guys obvious just don't know what a date looks like, right?

[Because two kids soaked with stank water, bruised from an attempt at kissing, holding a terrifying murder rabbit stuffed animal is definitely the highest form of romance.

Don't mind Ruby as she presses the rabbit closer into Varian's face.]

Hear that Mr.Fluffers! He does love you. You guys are going to be best friends, I promise.

[droptheious]

I mean, we made it our own?

[Obviously, they're pros at the dating game only one date in. No one can better them.

He takes a step back, raising his arms to protect himself from the (probably very possessed) stuffed toy.]

Erugh. Great. But hey for fun times you can just keep him at your house.

[He's going to send a message to Yang asking her to do him a solid and destroy it. ]

[clickclickbloom]

We did!

[She'll wrap one arm around Mr.Fluffers before she offers a hand for him to take. A big grin on her face.]

Okay, okay. ...He can live at my place. Can he come over and visit sometime?

[Like for a month in his cupboards until he manages to find it.]

[droptheious]

[He smiles, reaching out to take that proffered hand, entwining their fingers together, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. ]

I think you'd bring him over no matter what I'd say to that.

[Just live in his nightmares forever. ]

[clickclickbloom]

[She squeezes his hand right back.]

You've got that right.

[She leans in and gives him a kiss on the cheek. Without slamming into his face or making things any more awkward. She had a fun time this evening, Varian.]