Deerington inbox

[droptheious]

FROM: SUBJECT: FERN Ooo slang part the second FERN i think we just shared electrons, because i'm feeling a covalent bond between us LANCE Pidge, I need your help. I gotta send a meme to Chloe but ... DIPPER Hey Varian. You know those crazy alchemy bombs you used... PETER Hey Varian, this is Peter. Um, Peter Graham. USAGI Soooooooo~ How'd the date go? MAKO Varian— Checking in. SHIRO i think one of us put a chicken patty in my toaster EDDIE Hey. We need to talk. MELIUS 𝐻𝒾. 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒾𝓉 𝓁𝑜𝑜𝓀𝓈 𝓌𝑒𝒾𝓇𝒹 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓇𝓉 EDA Hey, kid. I... owe you an apology. LUZ Valentines MAUL I have a proposition for a project I think you'll be interested in USAGI I LOVE YOU FERN DUDE you still have your bandana! BUZZ Morning. I heard from Fern you wanted to go out into the blizzard. FERN dude your profile changed USAGI Ruby told me about the breakup. GLITCH Varian, I'm gonna go live somewhere else for now MAKO A "nerd" is somebody smart... MAUL Gifts FERN heeyyyy quick question FERN Christmas is coming up!!! CHLOE god who the FUCK ever thought emojis were a good idea??? KRISTOFF Varian,It's getting colder so I thought you could use this FERN heyyyy Variable RAPUNZEL okay not to put you on the spot but... EDA Potion time NEO Dude, I can mine antidote shit here! GLITCH Got this in my basket. EDA hey smart kid TEN Hallo ADAM Hey, k-- uh, Varian. I just wanted to check in USAGI I'm sorry I worried you and fainted on you yesterday. AMARA i lived, bitch NEO Debatably good news, asshole USAGI Hey Varian! It's Usagi OSCAR I'm sorry, Varian. Tell me what you need FERN a dark past huh MAUL Varian. I am in great need of your assistance FERN Varian VARIAN I CAN EAT FOOD USAGI How much moon essence do you have? USAGI VIVI-KUN, VIVI-KUN GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT! RICHIE well I promised FERN A TOTALLY INCOMPLETE LIST OF OOO WORDS 'N SLANG GLITCH VARIAN ARE THERE BUGS IN THE WATER?! USAGI To help with restless nights and the... VIRA-LORR Little alchemist. I have a gift for you. MARTIN Hi, Varian. This is Martin. I wanted to reach out... USAGI Hi Varian, sweetie! I have a question for you. GLITCH varian I need to talk to you. it's important. USAGI I need you not to panic after what I tell you. FERN dog you have so many vests IRONHIDE HONK HONK USAGI ... I'm sorry I couldn't help you better, Varian EMERALD Hey, V. Not that I care that much or anything... FERN tell me when you're alive FERN Varian i stabbed two people AMARA hey weirdo i have something for you FERN is the Rapunzel in town your Rapunzel? PENNY Salutations!! You do not know me, but my name is Penny Polendina YANG Hey, is this Varian? I think we've met once before. FERN hey can we talk FERN you told ruby MAUL Surviving another year is always an occasion worth celebrating USAGI Hey I wanted to apologise USAGI VARIAN-KUUUUNNN!!!! FERN birth MAUL Look what just arrived for me. KATHERINE Do you want to get paid to make more purple goo things? FERN ok i know you're good with plants but what about animals FERN dog interested in means girls or guys

TO: SUBJECT: USAGI So. Maul dropped by, he's got his memories back. ADAM I'm worried about Shiro FERN Hey handsome OSCAR You've been weirdly quiet lately FERN Guess what I haven't told you lately? USAGI Hey. I'm back from the dead and I feel like trash. FERN I made meatloaf that may or may not poison us! Emerald Hey. I know you probably don't want to talk to anyone right now... BELLA Hey Bella. You've dated someone who's a different species to you right? BILL Hi, Fern mentioned you were interested in interdimensional portals... FERN Aw, your pictures are nice! KURT Hey. Are you around? RICHIE Is it just me or is Eddie acting weirder than usual? QROW Hey. Checking up on you. EDA Hi Eda. Hope Ruddiger found you okay. GLITCH Hey. What happened between you and Maul? LUNA Luna- I uh... I think I need your help EDDIE So hey, I finally worked out how to replicate the Antidote OSCAR So, I noticed Ozpin has shown up. ROGUE Hey, I managed to replicate the Antidote KURT Hey. We're back. None of us are dead. QROW Uh... hey. How are you guys holding up? PETER You gave Ruby the haunted dolls GLITCH Hey, Bud. Sorry I tried to murder you with a robot KURT I'm probably the last person you want to talk to... JON I'm sorry I attacked you JON Stay away from Fern. FERN Hey you still haven't got me those baking ingredients FERN Okay so the Betties are upping their war... USAGI Hey. So. Update. NEO You tried to bury her alive? SERIOUSLY? USAGI Emotions are really difficult FERN OH MY GOD YOU HAVE ONE TOO FERN Okay this better be to Fern this time. WYNONNA So guess who got into the fridge and ate literally everything in there.

code by cawaii

Comments

this is wonderful already

[droptheious]

[He's just gonna... read this twice before replying. At first, he saw the profanity and thought "Glitch", but nope, turns out it's a random stranger. ]

I have a feeling this was meant for someone who isn't me, but I absolutely agree with you, Angry Stranger. I don't understand why people are incapable of using words.

What's the little wink supposed to mean? Are you joking? Are you flirting? Are you being sarcastic? Social cues are hard enough to read without this nonsense.

[tagartist]

THANK YOU!!!!!! finally someone in this place gets it. how am i supposed to decode what every piece of food might mean in every individual situation? are you telling me you want cake or that you think this shit is easy, i don't know because now words are meaningless.



angry stranger sounds rad if you wanna stick with it, but i'm chloe, Person Who Is Clearly Not Shiro

[droptheious]

Oh man, the food ones are the worst! I have a friend who does really complicated ones that look like SPARKLES or there's one that's apparently hugging but looks nothing like that? What's wrong with just typing "giving you a hug". How hard is it?

Chloe, cool. I'm Varian and definitely not Shiro. I can make a disapproving noise at the fluid if you want me to try to get a sense of the Shiro Realism, but that's about as good as I can get.

[tagartist]

you mean usagi right?? please tell me it’s her and there aren’t more people using those crazy ass complex ones, i might legit die

oh that might help, i’m feeling kinda incomplete without it. it’s cool to meet you, varian.

[droptheious]

Yup. That would be her. Pretty sure that's just a HER thing, but I have seen her teaching other people how to do it, so eventually more people will partake in her awful, awful craft.

I absolutely made a disapproving noise at the fluid. Also did that frowny thing he does for maximum judgement.

Likewise! Are you from quote-unquote "the past" too, or is the dislike of emojis a different thing?

[tagartist]

i let her get away with it because she's cute but if anyone else so much as sends me one fucking sparkle, i'm smashing their fluid

you are the BEST wow

different thing. i'm from 2013. i just have taste.

[droptheious]

I've tried telling her to stop but I've kind of accepted she's just going to do it forever.

Thank you, I try.

Oh wow. That's WAY in the future for me. Like nearly two hundred years in the future. I thought the 1950s was hard to get my head around. What's it like? Other than emojis being a pox on the world, I guess?

[tagartist]

telling them to stop seems to just make them use them harder. emoji lovers are vindictive little shits.

for real? i think that makes you in the top five oldest old persons i've met here. congratulations. it's uhhh
idk
not too different from the 50s but like
more
that makes no sense. the technology is even more advanced, things like the fluid are pretty common place for people who have money to get them, the TVs are flatter and thinner, i guess clothes changed a lot, and while people are still bigoted assholes, they at least can get like. arrested for it now. baby steps???
they apparently are going to make an entire movie about emojis a few years after when i'm from and i'm really fucking glad i'm not around for that nightmare

[droptheious]

They are! You'd think people who communicate with over saccharine pictures would be more merciful. But no.

I'm aware. I'm not sure if I should be proud of that or not. Probably not. I only understand roughly half of what is being said by other people here at any given moment.
Oh. That's good? The arresting thing, I guess? About time they put people in jail who deserved it.

[Varian, don't be salty, you literally tried to murder a whole bunch of people, you deserved jailtime and you know it.]

Oh no. Why would ANYONE make a movie about those things? How can you even tell a story about them?

[tagartist]

have you ever noticed the text they use for eyes in those things look particularly soulless??? it's haunting, man.

i can imagine, dude, even just basic shit you should understand has changed a shit ton since the 19th century. like pudding??? and fruit. the genetic modification of fruit in the last fifty years was wild.
lmao idk that everyone who goes to jail deserves it or that everyone who deserves it goes to jail, but that's a way more complicated social justice matter and i got expelled from school for blowing up too many things so idk that i'm qualified to teach

WHO KNOWS satan probably directed it
i think it's at the movie store
i get morbidly curious but it's gonna require a real low self-hatred day for me to brave that

[droptheious]

Oh no. It all makes sense now.

I come from a farming community so the excessively sized and weird-looking produce is something I don't think I'll ever get used to. I understand there are more people to feed in the future now- population booms and all that, but yeesh. What did you people do to carrots?
Given where... when I'm from the King can execute or imprison you for just about anything because his word is law... yeah.

I have pretty low self-hatred days most days honestly. I don't think I can push myself that far though. That seems a lot.

[tagartist]

figuring out how to selectively grow plants was our best decision and worst mistake all at once. i'm from a fishing town, but we've poisoned our oceans and overfished to the point where most people there don't have jobs anymore.
oh right
monarchies
that blows, buddy

maybe you get numb to it after like ten minutes. a piece of you dies with each scene.

[droptheious]

Yeesh. The island does a lot of fishing, but I don't really know a lot about that. Depressing to hear people just ruin everything, I guess. Kinda glad I won't be alive to see it.

It's not fun. The current King isn't my favourite person ever. I have high hopes for his daughter though! She might be able to make things right.

Maybe! I've heard of worse ideas.

[tagartist]

see? a silver lining to being old as dirt

i mean historically speaking queens do tend to be better rulers, so i'd say that's probably a good thing to put your money on

[droptheious]

You've got a good point there.

At this point, anyone could do better than her father. But yeah, I suppose they have been. Rapunzel's a really good person, anyway. Unlikely to lose sight of what's actually important. Not a lot of ego there, either.

[tagartist]

rapunzel???
like the chick with hella long hair????
... were her parents just super into grimms fairy tales or is she like the real deal

[droptheious]

[Thanks to Eddie, this at least doesn't come as a surprise to him any more.]

That's her. Seventy feet, to be exact.

And the real deal. Apparently, there's a movie of my world's history in the future? I don't know. It's weird, I try not to think about it. But yeah. Rapunzel, kidnapped in a tower, magically long hair, rescued by a dashing hero, turned out to be a lost princess, blah blah blah.

[tagartist]

holy fuck that girl's neck must be in pain 24/7 how does she even keep her head up?????????

i always thought princess stories were kinda lame, so i guess i never saw it. there's a comic book series about an alternate timeline of my life in the library. and i guess there's a video game??? i'm too chicken shit to play it

anyway, point is, not thinking about it is a good call

[droptheious]

I tried to study all the properties once, but it got disrupted by... an explosion. I never got the chance to study it properly again. My machine to do it got crushed. The hair is protected by a very ancient magic- in turn, I expect it protects her.

I've only got the vaguest idea of video games. I've played a few with Fern on the Fluids. That's about it. But wow, that's weird. An alternate timeline?

[It's a little too close to Remnant for his comfort- and the strange story Ruby told him of a story far, far too like Rapunzel's, but one that ended very badly.]

Normally, I try to understand as much of everything as I can. I don't think anything will come out of this except a deep existential crisis, so I'm putting it on hold for as long as I can.

[tagartist]

uuuugh fucking magic, why's it always gotta ruin the interesting parts of science

first off, you should totally play more, the arcade is a fucking blast. and secondly, i guess it's kinda weird, but i'm pretty used to the whole concept. i've lived through like. seven of them. and there's probably more that i don't remember or that deerington has never shown me

that is a legit stance, this place encourages enough crises as it is, no need to add to the pile

[droptheious]

I KNOW. My villagers used to call me a wizard all the time and it got me this stupid reputation when all I wanted to do was science. They're not the same thing people!!

I tried to take one of the machines apart once because I wanted to know how it worked and apparently that's "unacceptable and antisocial behaviour" or whatever. But I'm sure I could give it another try. Without trying to take the machine apart. I guess.

I'd very much like it if Sodder took a month off. Just one. Not a lot to ask for. Just one month without any attempted psychological or physical maiming.

[tagartist]

we don't have magic where i'm from but a lot of people liked to think science was magic for a long time. my condolences on your suffering.

you should definitely try again but ALSO
maybe just steal a machine

i'd both be way relieved or like. terrified that she'd follow up with her worst outburst yet.

[droptheious]

That's pretty much where I'm at now. I've tried to explain the chemical or mechanical breakdown of what I do to them, but a lot of them are just "oh no, it's magic". It's rude.

...You know that's a good point. I could probably get one of my housemates to help me steal a machine. Normally I'd ask Glitch because he likes crimes but also has magnet powers- but he's also currently like... eight. But Fern could probably drag it too, and he likes crimes as well.

That's a good point. She might just double down the following month.

[tagartist]

HELLA rude. sure that shit can co-exist, but people gotta stop chalking up everything they don't understand to being done by The Spirits or wtfever

hey eight year olds can be great distractions in an arcade. just throwin that out there

[droptheious]

I don't understand what "hella" is, sorry. It is deeply frustrating that people are more willing to put faith in something they can't see instead of actual solid science WITH PROOF.

I don't think I know any eight years olds here and the kids I know back home would probably just set the place on fire, but duly noted.

["The kids I know" like he's not a kid himself, sure thing, Var. ]