Deerington inbox

[droptheious]

FROM: SUBJECT: FERN Ooo slang part the second FERN i think we just shared electrons, because i'm feeling a covalent bond between us LANCE Pidge, I need your help. I gotta send a meme to Chloe but ... DIPPER Hey Varian. You know those crazy alchemy bombs you used... PETER Hey Varian, this is Peter. Um, Peter Graham. USAGI Soooooooo~ How'd the date go? MAKO Varian— Checking in. SHIRO i think one of us put a chicken patty in my toaster EDDIE Hey. We need to talk. MELIUS 𝐻𝒾. 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒾𝓉 𝓁𝑜𝑜𝓀𝓈 𝓌𝑒𝒾𝓇𝒹 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓇𝓉 EDA Hey, kid. I... owe you an apology. LUZ Valentines MAUL I have a proposition for a project I think you'll be interested in USAGI I LOVE YOU FERN DUDE you still have your bandana! BUZZ Morning. I heard from Fern you wanted to go out into the blizzard. FERN dude your profile changed USAGI Ruby told me about the breakup. GLITCH Varian, I'm gonna go live somewhere else for now MAKO A "nerd" is somebody smart... MAUL Gifts FERN heeyyyy quick question FERN Christmas is coming up!!! CHLOE god who the FUCK ever thought emojis were a good idea??? KRISTOFF Varian,It's getting colder so I thought you could use this FERN heyyyy Variable RAPUNZEL okay not to put you on the spot but... EDA Potion time NEO Dude, I can mine antidote shit here! GLITCH Got this in my basket. EDA hey smart kid TEN Hallo ADAM Hey, k-- uh, Varian. I just wanted to check in USAGI I'm sorry I worried you and fainted on you yesterday. AMARA i lived, bitch NEO Debatably good news, asshole USAGI Hey Varian! It's Usagi OSCAR I'm sorry, Varian. Tell me what you need FERN a dark past huh MAUL Varian. I am in great need of your assistance FERN Varian VARIAN I CAN EAT FOOD USAGI How much moon essence do you have? USAGI VIVI-KUN, VIVI-KUN GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT! RICHIE well I promised FERN A TOTALLY INCOMPLETE LIST OF OOO WORDS 'N SLANG GLITCH VARIAN ARE THERE BUGS IN THE WATER?! USAGI To help with restless nights and the... VIRA-LORR Little alchemist. I have a gift for you. MARTIN Hi, Varian. This is Martin. I wanted to reach out... USAGI Hi Varian, sweetie! I have a question for you. GLITCH varian I need to talk to you. it's important. USAGI I need you not to panic after what I tell you. FERN dog you have so many vests IRONHIDE HONK HONK USAGI ... I'm sorry I couldn't help you better, Varian EMERALD Hey, V. Not that I care that much or anything... FERN tell me when you're alive FERN Varian i stabbed two people AMARA hey weirdo i have something for you FERN is the Rapunzel in town your Rapunzel? PENNY Salutations!! You do not know me, but my name is Penny Polendina YANG Hey, is this Varian? I think we've met once before. FERN hey can we talk FERN you told ruby MAUL Surviving another year is always an occasion worth celebrating USAGI Hey I wanted to apologise USAGI VARIAN-KUUUUNNN!!!! FERN birth MAUL Look what just arrived for me. KATHERINE Do you want to get paid to make more purple goo things? FERN ok i know you're good with plants but what about animals FERN dog interested in means girls or guys

TO: SUBJECT: USAGI So. Maul dropped by, he's got his memories back. ADAM I'm worried about Shiro FERN Hey handsome OSCAR You've been weirdly quiet lately FERN Guess what I haven't told you lately? USAGI Hey. I'm back from the dead and I feel like trash. FERN I made meatloaf that may or may not poison us! Emerald Hey. I know you probably don't want to talk to anyone right now... BELLA Hey Bella. You've dated someone who's a different species to you right? BILL Hi, Fern mentioned you were interested in interdimensional portals... FERN Aw, your pictures are nice! KURT Hey. Are you around? RICHIE Is it just me or is Eddie acting weirder than usual? QROW Hey. Checking up on you. EDA Hi Eda. Hope Ruddiger found you okay. GLITCH Hey. What happened between you and Maul? LUNA Luna- I uh... I think I need your help EDDIE So hey, I finally worked out how to replicate the Antidote OSCAR So, I noticed Ozpin has shown up. ROGUE Hey, I managed to replicate the Antidote KURT Hey. We're back. None of us are dead. QROW Uh... hey. How are you guys holding up? PETER You gave Ruby the haunted dolls GLITCH Hey, Bud. Sorry I tried to murder you with a robot KURT I'm probably the last person you want to talk to... JON I'm sorry I attacked you JON Stay away from Fern. FERN Hey you still haven't got me those baking ingredients FERN Okay so the Betties are upping their war... USAGI Hey. So. Update. NEO You tried to bury her alive? SERIOUSLY? USAGI Emotions are really difficult FERN OH MY GOD YOU HAVE ONE TOO FERN Okay this better be to Fern this time. WYNONNA So guess who got into the fridge and ate literally everything in there.

code by cawaii

Comments

[droptheious]

Ohhhhh. Okay, I think I understand. Future slang is really tricky. And yes, people can be so, so dumb. It's frustrating.

[tagartist]

if you ever need some help with it, hit me up. i'm told i'm pretty good at teaching modern shit.

[droptheious]

Really? I'd appreciate that. I have a lot of friends who drop pop culture references on me all the time and then they have to explain it to me and I kinda hate it.

[He does not enjoy feeling dumb in the least, no sir. ]

[tagartist]

we're all cursed in the future to only relate to one another through media. the best and quickest way to start to learn all of them is to look into meme culture.

[droptheious]

Mako's been working out the meme thing with me. I don't quite get it, it doesn't make a lot of sense. I'm sure it does if you're from the right time period for them.

Like why does the cat want a cheeseburger? Why can't it have one? Why is it important that the cat wants it?

[tagartist]

[ It is so good he can't see how hard she's laughing. ]

i introduced mako to them. they're not always supposed to make sense, sometimes they're just funny because... they DON'T make sense, y'know? like they're so ridiculous you have to laugh

anyway, the original cheezburger cat was this adorable fatty who looked like he was whining at the screen in the picture that was taken and it was like a running gag in the 2000s to make animals talk in bad english because ig they thought they were dumb or something. personally i think cats probably would talk like uptight victorian aristocrats, but it took off. the cheeseburger itself is tied to the cat being round and implying he got there by eating too many cheeseburgers and he can't have one because a) cheeseburgers will kill cats and b) he's gotta go on a diet, man.

[droptheious]

[It absolutely is. He's 16 and prone to teenage huffiness.]

I don't really get that, no. Why laugh if it doesn't make sense?

Ohhhhhhh. Okay I think I vaguely understand that. I have a raccoon that could absolutely use a diet and I'm actively trying to make sure he never learns what a cheeseburger is. This would be a really weird time to say we can kind of understand animals where I come from, huh?

[tagartist]

[ She was definitely gonna address the rest of this but UHHHHHH SOMETHING STICKS OUT. ]

hold the fuck up
you can talk to animals???????

[droptheious]

Kind of? Like I understand what they're saying but it's not like they speak actual words? It's really hard to explain because it's always been that way where I come from.

It doesn't work on animals not from home though. So I think it's more the animals being able to get their points across better than it is us humans being able to speak to them. Animals are just smarter back home.

[tagartist]

UGH UNFAIR i wanna live in a world with super smart animals
bongo's a dumbass even for a cat but he probably has some really interesting things to say
or he just
would wanna talk about food all day...

[droptheious]

You probably don't, because that's pretty much what Ruddiger talks about all day. When he's going to eat next, what food is he gonna eat when he gets fed, when can he eat AFTER that - there's a lot of food talk.

But again, he's a raccoon so it's kind of expected.

[tagartist]

ruddiger sounds fucking awesome, that's kind of what most of my conversations sound like too. my spirit animal clearly should've been a trash panda.

[droptheious]

He's pretty great. He's stuck by me through a lot. Really loyal.

Apparently, it's mine? If my Dream Guide is any indication of that.

[He's accepted his trash panda connection. It is what it is. Pointless fighting it.]

[tagartist]

that's kind of adorable
both of those facts
mine's a fucking butterfly
everyone else gets these badass mammals and mine just flies around and looks pretty

[droptheious]

I guess it is. I don't know if it's a compliment or an insult, but I can roll with it.

Is it a normal-sized butterfly? Or is it big enough to ride on?

[That's obviously important!!]

[tagartist]

ugh normal-sized, it would be so much cooler if i could ride it

[droptheious]

That's a pity. It could be a really useful Dream Guide then. You could just ride it out of danger, job done.