droptheious | Deerington inbox

Deerington inbox

FROM:

SUBJECT:

	FERN	Ooo slang part the second
	FERN	i think we just shared electrons, because i'm feeling a covalent bond between us
	LANCE	Pidge, I need your help. I gotta send a meme to Chloe but ...
	DIPPER	Hey Varian. You know those crazy alchemy bombs you used...
	PETER	Hey Varian, this is Peter. Um, Peter Graham.
	USAGI	Soooooooo~ How'd the date go?
	MAKO	Varian— Checking in.
	SHIRO	i think one of us put a chicken patty in my toaster
	EDDIE	Hey. We need to talk.
	MELIUS	𝐻𝒾. 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒾𝓉 𝓁𝑜𝑜𝓀𝓈 𝓌𝑒𝒾𝓇𝒹 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓇𝓉
	EDA	Hey, kid. I... owe you an apology.
	LUZ	Valentines
	MAUL	I have a proposition for a project I think you'll be interested in
	USAGI	I LOVE YOU
	FERN	DUDE you still have your bandana!
	BUZZ	Morning. I heard from Fern you wanted to go out into the blizzard.
	FERN	dude your profile changed
	USAGI	Ruby told me about the breakup.
	GLITCH	Varian, I'm gonna go live somewhere else for now
	MAKO	A "nerd" is somebody smart...
	MAUL	Gifts
	FERN	heeyyyy quick question
	FERN	Christmas is coming up!!!
	CHLOE	god who the FUCK ever thought emojis were a good idea???
	KRISTOFF	Varian,It's getting colder so I thought you could use this
	FERN	heyyyy Variable
	RAPUNZEL	okay not to put you on the spot but...
	EDA	Potion time
	NEO	Dude, I can mine antidote shit here!
	GLITCH	Got this in my basket.
	EDA	hey smart kid
	TEN	Hallo
	ADAM	Hey, k-- uh, Varian. I just wanted to check in
	USAGI	I'm sorry I worried you and fainted on you yesterday.
	AMARA	i lived, bitch
	NEO	Debatably good news, asshole
	USAGI	Hey Varian! It's Usagi
	OSCAR	I'm sorry, Varian. Tell me what you need
	FERN	a dark past huh
	MAUL	Varian. I am in great need of your assistance
	FERN	Varian VARIAN I CAN EAT FOOD
	USAGI	How much moon essence do you have?
	USAGI	VIVI-KUN, VIVI-KUN GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT!
	RICHIE	well I promised
	FERN	A TOTALLY INCOMPLETE LIST OF OOO WORDS 'N SLANG
	GLITCH	VARIAN ARE THERE BUGS IN THE WATER?!
	USAGI	To help with restless nights and the...
	VIRA-LORR	Little alchemist. I have a gift for you.
	MARTIN	Hi, Varian. This is Martin. I wanted to reach out...
	USAGI	Hi Varian, sweetie! I have a question for you.
	GLITCH	varian I need to talk to you. it's important.
	USAGI	I need you not to panic after what I tell you.
	FERN	dog you have so many vests
	IRONHIDE	HONK HONK
	USAGI	... I'm sorry I couldn't help you better, Varian
	EMERALD	Hey, V. Not that I care that much or anything...
	FERN	tell me when you're alive
	FERN	Varian i stabbed two people
	AMARA	hey weirdo i have something for you
	FERN	is the Rapunzel in town your Rapunzel?
	PENNY	Salutations!! You do not know me, but my name is Penny Polendina
	YANG	Hey, is this Varian? I think we've met once before.
	FERN	hey can we talk
	FERN	you told ruby
	MAUL	Surviving another year is always an occasion worth celebrating
	USAGI	Hey I wanted to apologise
	USAGI	VARIAN-KUUUUNNN!!!!
	FERN	birth
	MAUL	Look what just arrived for me.
	KATHERINE	Do you want to get paid to make more purple goo things?
	FERN	ok i know you're good with plants but what about animals
	FERN	dog interested in means girls or guys

TO:

SUBJECT:

	USAGI	So. Maul dropped by, he's got his memories back.
	ADAM	I'm worried about Shiro
	FERN	Hey handsome
	OSCAR	You've been weirdly quiet lately
	FERN	Guess what I haven't told you lately?
	USAGI	Hey. I'm back from the dead and I feel like trash.
	FERN	I made meatloaf that may or may not poison us!
	Emerald	Hey. I know you probably don't want to talk to anyone right now...
	BELLA	Hey Bella. You've dated someone who's a different species to you right?
	BILL	Hi, Fern mentioned you were interested in interdimensional portals...
	FERN	Aw, your pictures are nice!
	KURT	Hey. Are you around?
	RICHIE	Is it just me or is Eddie acting weirder than usual?
	QROW	Hey. Checking up on you.
	EDA	Hi Eda. Hope Ruddiger found you okay.
	GLITCH	Hey. What happened between you and Maul?
	LUNA	Luna- I uh... I think I need your help
	EDDIE	So hey, I finally worked out how to replicate the Antidote
	OSCAR	So, I noticed Ozpin has shown up.
	ROGUE	Hey, I managed to replicate the Antidote
	KURT	Hey. We're back. None of us are dead.
	QROW	Uh... hey. How are you guys holding up?
	PETER	You gave Ruby the haunted dolls
	GLITCH	Hey, Bud. Sorry I tried to murder you with a robot
	KURT	I'm probably the last person you want to talk to...
	JON	I'm sorry I attacked you
	JON	Stay away from Fern.
	FERN	Hey you still haven't got me those baking ingredients
	FERN	Okay so the Betties are upping their war...
	USAGI	Hey. So. Update.
	NEO	You tried to bury her alive? SERIOUSLY?
	USAGI	Emotions are really difficult
	FERN	OH MY GOD YOU HAVE ONE TOO
	FERN	Okay this better be to Fern this time.
	WYNONNA	So guess who got into the fridge and ate literally everything in there.

code by

cawaii

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[Thanks to Eddie, this at least doesn't come as a surprise to him any more.]

That's her. Seventy feet, to be exact.

And the real deal. Apparently, there's a movie of my world's history in the future? I don't know. It's weird, I try not to think about it. But yeah. Rapunzel, kidnapped in a tower, magically long hair, rescued by a dashing hero, turned out to be a lost princess, blah blah blah.

holy fuck that girl's neck must be in pain 24/7 how does she even keep her head up?????????

i always thought princess stories were kinda lame, so i guess i never saw it. there's a comic book series about an alternate timeline of my life in the library. and i guess there's a video game??? i'm too chicken shit to play it

anyway, point is, not thinking about it is a good call

I tried to study all the properties once, but it got disrupted by... an explosion. I never got the chance to study it properly again. My machine to do it got crushed. The hair is protected by a very ancient magic- in turn, I expect it protects her.

I've only got the vaguest idea of video games. I've played a few with Fern on the Fluids. That's about it. But wow, that's weird. An alternate timeline?

[It's a little too close to Remnant for his comfort- and the strange story Ruby told him of a story far, far too like Rapunzel's, but one that ended very badly.]

Normally, I try to understand as much of everything as I can. I don't think anything will come out of this except a deep existential crisis, so I'm putting it on hold for as long as I can.

uuuugh fucking magic, why's it always gotta ruin the interesting parts of science

first off, you should totally play more, the arcade is a fucking blast. and secondly, i guess it's kinda weird, but i'm pretty used to the whole concept. i've lived through like. seven of them. and there's probably more that i don't remember or that deerington has never shown me

that is a legit stance, this place encourages enough crises as it is, no need to add to the pile

I KNOW. My villagers used to call me a wizard all the time and it got me this stupid reputation when all I wanted to do was science. They're not the same thing people!!

I tried to take one of the machines apart once because I wanted to know how it worked and apparently that's "unacceptable and antisocial behaviour" or whatever. But I'm sure I could give it another try. Without trying to take the machine apart. I guess.

I'd very much like it if Sodder took a month off. Just one. Not a lot to ask for. Just one month without any attempted psychological or physical maiming.

we don't have magic where i'm from but a lot of people liked to think science was magic for a long time. my condolences on your suffering.

you should definitely try again but ALSO
maybe just steal a machine

i'd both be way relieved or like. terrified that she'd follow up with her worst outburst yet.

That's pretty much where I'm at now. I've tried to explain the chemical or mechanical breakdown of what I do to them, but a lot of them are just "oh no, it's magic". It's rude.

...You know that's a good point. I could probably get one of my housemates to help me steal a machine. Normally I'd ask Glitch because he likes crimes but also has magnet powers- but he's also currently like... eight. But Fern could probably drag it too, and he likes crimes as well.

That's a good point. She might just double down the following month.

Edited 2020-12-17 19:44 (UTC)

HELLA rude. sure that shit can co-exist, but people gotta stop chalking up everything they don't understand to being done by The Spirits or wtfever

hey eight year olds can be great distractions in an arcade. just throwin that out there

I don't understand what "hella" is, sorry. It is deeply frustrating that people are more willing to put faith in something they can't see instead of actual solid science WITH PROOF.

I don't think I know any eight years olds here and the kids I know back home would probably just set the place on fire, but duly noted.

["The kids I know" like he's not a kid himself, sure thing, Var. ]

it's like saying there's a lot of something, or emphasizing something is extreme. "that's a hella hypothesis you've got there" or "i'm gonna eat a hella amount of fries." by and large, people are idiots, so it's not really a surprise.

Ohhhhh. Okay, I think I understand. Future slang is really tricky. And yes, people can be so, so dumb. It's frustrating.

if you ever need some help with it, hit me up. i'm told i'm pretty good at teaching modern shit.

Really? I'd appreciate that. I have a lot of friends who drop pop culture references on me all the time and then they have to explain it to me and I kinda hate it.

[He does not enjoy feeling dumb in the least, no sir. ]

we're all cursed in the future to only relate to one another through media. the best and quickest way to start to learn all of them is to look into meme culture.

Mako's been working out the meme thing with me. I don't quite get it, it doesn't make a lot of sense. I'm sure it does if you're from the right time period for them.

Like why does the cat want a cheeseburger? Why can't it have one? Why is it important that the cat wants it?

[ It is so good he can't see how hard she's laughing. ]

i introduced mako to them. they're not always supposed to make sense, sometimes they're just funny because... they DON'T make sense, y'know? like they're so ridiculous you have to laugh

anyway, the original cheezburger cat was this adorable fatty who looked like he was whining at the screen in the picture that was taken and it was like a running gag in the 2000s to make animals talk in bad english because ig they thought they were dumb or something. personally i think cats probably would talk like uptight victorian aristocrats, but it took off. the cheeseburger itself is tied to the cat being round and implying he got there by eating too many cheeseburgers and he can't have one because a) cheeseburgers will kill cats and b) he's gotta go on a diet, man.

[It absolutely is. He's 16 and prone to teenage huffiness.]

I don't really get that, no. Why laugh if it doesn't make sense?

Ohhhhhhh. Okay I think I vaguely understand that. I have a raccoon that could absolutely use a diet and I'm actively trying to make sure he never learns what a cheeseburger is. This would be a really weird time to say we can kind of understand animals where I come from, huh?

[ She was definitely gonna address the rest of this but UHHHHHH SOMETHING STICKS OUT. ]

hold the fuck up
you can talk to animals???????

Kind of? Like I understand what they're saying but it's not like they speak actual words? It's really hard to explain because it's always been that way where I come from.

It doesn't work on animals not from home though. So I think it's more the animals being able to get their points across better than it is us humans being able to speak to them. Animals are just smarter back home.

UGH UNFAIR i wanna live in a world with super smart animals
bongo's a dumbass even for a cat but he probably has some really interesting things to say
or he just
would wanna talk about food all day...

You probably don't, because that's pretty much what Ruddiger talks about all day. When he's going to eat next, what food is he gonna eat when he gets fed, when can he eat AFTER that - there's a lot of food talk.

But again, he's a raccoon so it's kind of expected.

Edited 2021-01-11 00:05 (UTC)

ruddiger sounds fucking awesome, that's kind of what most of my conversations sound like too. my spirit animal clearly should've been a trash panda.

He's pretty great. He's stuck by me through a lot. Really loyal.

Apparently, it's mine? If my Dream Guide is any indication of that.

[He's accepted his trash panda connection. It is what it is. Pointless fighting it.]

that's kind of adorable
both of those facts
mine's a fucking butterfly
everyone else gets these badass mammals and mine just flies around and looks pretty

I guess it is. I don't know if it's a compliment or an insult, but I can roll with it.

Is it a normal-sized butterfly? Or is it big enough to ride on?

[That's obviously important!!]

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