Deerington inbox

[droptheious]

FROM: SUBJECT: FERN Ooo slang part the second FERN i think we just shared electrons, because i'm feeling a covalent bond between us LANCE Pidge, I need your help. I gotta send a meme to Chloe but ... DIPPER Hey Varian. You know those crazy alchemy bombs you used... PETER Hey Varian, this is Peter. Um, Peter Graham. USAGI Soooooooo~ How'd the date go? MAKO Varian— Checking in. SHIRO i think one of us put a chicken patty in my toaster EDDIE Hey. We need to talk. MELIUS 𝐻𝒾. 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒾𝓉 𝓁𝑜𝑜𝓀𝓈 𝓌𝑒𝒾𝓇𝒹 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓇𝓉 EDA Hey, kid. I... owe you an apology. LUZ Valentines MAUL I have a proposition for a project I think you'll be interested in USAGI I LOVE YOU FERN DUDE you still have your bandana! BUZZ Morning. I heard from Fern you wanted to go out into the blizzard. FERN dude your profile changed USAGI Ruby told me about the breakup. GLITCH Varian, I'm gonna go live somewhere else for now MAKO A "nerd" is somebody smart... MAUL Gifts FERN heeyyyy quick question FERN Christmas is coming up!!! CHLOE god who the FUCK ever thought emojis were a good idea??? KRISTOFF Varian,It's getting colder so I thought you could use this FERN heyyyy Variable RAPUNZEL okay not to put you on the spot but... EDA Potion time NEO Dude, I can mine antidote shit here! GLITCH Got this in my basket. EDA hey smart kid TEN Hallo ADAM Hey, k-- uh, Varian. I just wanted to check in USAGI I'm sorry I worried you and fainted on you yesterday. AMARA i lived, bitch NEO Debatably good news, asshole USAGI Hey Varian! It's Usagi OSCAR I'm sorry, Varian. Tell me what you need FERN a dark past huh MAUL Varian. I am in great need of your assistance FERN Varian VARIAN I CAN EAT FOOD USAGI How much moon essence do you have? USAGI VIVI-KUN, VIVI-KUN GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT! RICHIE well I promised FERN A TOTALLY INCOMPLETE LIST OF OOO WORDS 'N SLANG GLITCH VARIAN ARE THERE BUGS IN THE WATER?! USAGI To help with restless nights and the... VIRA-LORR Little alchemist. I have a gift for you. MARTIN Hi, Varian. This is Martin. I wanted to reach out... USAGI Hi Varian, sweetie! I have a question for you. GLITCH varian I need to talk to you. it's important. USAGI I need you not to panic after what I tell you. FERN dog you have so many vests IRONHIDE HONK HONK USAGI ... I'm sorry I couldn't help you better, Varian EMERALD Hey, V. Not that I care that much or anything... FERN tell me when you're alive FERN Varian i stabbed two people AMARA hey weirdo i have something for you FERN is the Rapunzel in town your Rapunzel? PENNY Salutations!! You do not know me, but my name is Penny Polendina YANG Hey, is this Varian? I think we've met once before. FERN hey can we talk FERN you told ruby MAUL Surviving another year is always an occasion worth celebrating USAGI Hey I wanted to apologise USAGI VARIAN-KUUUUNNN!!!! FERN birth MAUL Look what just arrived for me. KATHERINE Do you want to get paid to make more purple goo things? FERN ok i know you're good with plants but what about animals FERN dog interested in means girls or guys

TO: SUBJECT: USAGI So. Maul dropped by, he's got his memories back. ADAM I'm worried about Shiro FERN Hey handsome OSCAR You've been weirdly quiet lately FERN Guess what I haven't told you lately? USAGI Hey. I'm back from the dead and I feel like trash. FERN I made meatloaf that may or may not poison us! Emerald Hey. I know you probably don't want to talk to anyone right now... BELLA Hey Bella. You've dated someone who's a different species to you right? BILL Hi, Fern mentioned you were interested in interdimensional portals... FERN Aw, your pictures are nice! KURT Hey. Are you around? RICHIE Is it just me or is Eddie acting weirder than usual? QROW Hey. Checking up on you. EDA Hi Eda. Hope Ruddiger found you okay. GLITCH Hey. What happened between you and Maul? LUNA Luna- I uh... I think I need your help EDDIE So hey, I finally worked out how to replicate the Antidote OSCAR So, I noticed Ozpin has shown up. ROGUE Hey, I managed to replicate the Antidote KURT Hey. We're back. None of us are dead. QROW Uh... hey. How are you guys holding up? PETER You gave Ruby the haunted dolls GLITCH Hey, Bud. Sorry I tried to murder you with a robot KURT I'm probably the last person you want to talk to... JON I'm sorry I attacked you JON Stay away from Fern. FERN Hey you still haven't got me those baking ingredients FERN Okay so the Betties are upping their war... USAGI Hey. So. Update. NEO You tried to bury her alive? SERIOUSLY? USAGI Emotions are really difficult FERN OH MY GOD YOU HAVE ONE TOO FERN Okay this better be to Fern this time. WYNONNA So guess who got into the fridge and ate literally everything in there.

code by cawaii

Comments

[clickclickbloom]

Definitely! One day we'll be pros. I believe in us!

[It's definitely not something she wants to think about right now.]

Oh my gosh. That would be amazing! Uncle Qrow is pretty great at impressions so it might be a real hoot.

[Ruby drunken sass is not an impression. They're different. She gives a small nod at that.]

Okay, okay. I didn't think you were. I trust you, Varian. When you know what's going on just keep in the loop.

Well I'm sure one of us could introduce the both of you sometime. Then you'll have an alchemy buddy.

Yay.

[droptheious]

Really? He doesn't strike me as the theatrical type.

[But maybe Qrow has hidden layers. Deep, deep hidden layers.]

I will. I don't want to leap to any conclusions. Not yet.

It would be pretty nice to have an alchemy buddy. You guys are all great but it would be nice to talk to someone I wouldn't bore to death with it all.

[clickclickbloom]

You haven't seen him in a fight.

[You know how extra Ruby is in a fight? Qrow's worse.]

That's fair. Leave jumping to conclusions to me. I'm pretty pro at it.

I only fell asleep the one time! One time!

[It was more than one time.]

...But I see your point. Well I can always see if she's free if you want to hang out sometime.

[droptheious]

No, I haven't. I bet it's something to see.

[He raises his hand in the air, fingers spread.]

Five times. It's been fives times.

[He keeps count Ruby. Still, he's smiling, he clearly finds this amusing. ]

Sure. I'd like to meet her.

[clickclickbloom]

There's a reason I based my fighting style off his.

[Wow. Her jaw drops aghast. This is not fair.]

No way! It can't be five times! I would have remembered falling asleep that many times.

[It's definitely been five times. With big drool trails along his work bench each time.]

I'll see what I can do!

[droptheious]

Oh no, is his weapon a scythe too? It looked like a sword but I don't put anything past you guys.

[He offers a smug smile.]

It has absolutely been five times. I counted.

[clickclickbloom]

It's both, A sword that turns into a scythe with a built in shotgun.

Triple threat, my friend!

[It's amazing how fast she can go from gushing about her uncles weapon to giving Varian a flustered glare.]

Pics or it didn't happen.

[droptheious]

...Of course, it is. I feel stupid for asking now.

[Why is Remnant like this? Regardless, he vanishes for a moment, then suddenly:

Trienemybest is uploading a photo

Yeah. There's a pic. There's Ruby, sleeping and drooling on his workbench.]

I had a feeling I'd need to defend myself one day.

[clickclickbloom]

Don't feel too bad. Your home isn't as known for deadly weapons as mine is. Most worlds aren't.

[Which is disappointing in her opinion but it's probably better that they have no Grimm.

Ruby let's out a startled gasp when the picture comes her way.]

Seriously!? Wow, I can't believe I set myself up like this. Way to betray me, me.

I really just kind of sprawled out on there, didn't I? Kind of a miracle that you could work around me like that.

[droptheious]

That's true. It's mostly known for weird magic and overbearing optimism.

[Corona is in enough of a mess without adding Grimm to the mix, thanks. He chuckles, clearly pleased with himself.]

You stabbed yourself in your own back. Tragic. And it's okay, I'm used to working around Ruddiger. You were easy. You snorted a couple of times in your sleep. It was adorable.

[clickclickbloom]

It sounds charming. I'd love to see it sometime.

Even if magic is kind of weird.

[She might get lost in the crowd with all those optimistic types though.

There are more embarrassing things she could be caught doing. But she doesn't mind the teasing so she's willing to go along with this.]

Et tu, me? That's the phrase, right?

Pffffft, Must have been a good dream. Probably involved some dorky alchemy guy being a nerd.

[droptheious]

Magic is very weird, and it's especially weird in Corona right now.

[What with the indestructible DEATH ROCKS and the whole celestial bodies given form thing going on and all.]

Et tu, Brute. It's from Julius Ceasar. It's a play based on a historical event on Earth. An emperor was murdered and his best friend, Brutus was one of the people doing the stabbing. "Et tu, Brute?" is Latin for "and you, Brutus?". Basically it's what the emperor said when he realised his best friend had turned on him with everyone else.

[Don't you feel like you've LEARNED something today, Ruby? At her comment, he smiles shyly, rubbing the back of his neck.]

Heh. Yeah, maybe.

[clickclickbloom]

Oh I'm sure you're just thrilled about that.

[Look. She knows how he feels about magic. ...And she's still getting used to it being a thing in her world.]

Oh? So I actually used it right, huh? I mean aside from the name. That's awesome! Go me!

Wow. Uh. His friend sounds like a real jerk, not going to lie.

[She's learning!!!!!!!

She can't help but smile seeing that she's got him embarrassed.]

Not that I'm an expert or anything. You can never tell what that girls thinking about.

[droptheious]

I kind of had to get used to it. No choice, back there, like it or not.

[And he does not. ]

Yup, you did. You got the right context, go you. And honestly, he was a pretty corrupt emperor. The friend had his reasons.

[But corrupt people in rule is a touchy subject for him so just sliiiding around that.]

She's a mystery all unto herself, huh?

[clickclickbloom]

I guess we have that in common. Magic, actual magic just kind of got dumped on my lap one day. Haven't been able to shake it since.

[Her life would be so much easier without Maidens, A literal immortal witch and ancient relics. But it also wouldn't be her life if they were gone.

She let's out a huff hearing about the corruption.]

Okay. That's fair. Is it too much to ask for a non corrupt leader of a country? Because it's starting to feel like it's a prerequisite.

[Her track record is a wizard who abandoned her and two people who betrayed his cause. She's gotten a bit more salty about it since her trip back home.

But she's happy to change topics.]

Like a petal in the wind or something poetic like that.

She knows when she's happy though. That's what counts.

[droptheious]

Do we really want to start the magic debate again? Do we really want to start that right now?

[Because he will start it, Ruby. He'll do it.]

I hear you on that one. Hey, maybe let's not lie to and cheat the subjects when what you're doing can get them all killed.

[Oh never mind, he's stopped sliding. Just back to a "fuck you, King Fred" rant.]

I'm glad she's happy, at least.

[clickclickbloom]

Not really because I'm trying to sympathize with you, but I'll do it if we have to!

[Look. She's used to this debate rolling in like the wind these days. She can take it.

On the other hand this new train of thought is different than their normal arguments.]

I know, right? Or hey! Can we just not abandon a cities worth of people to die at the hands of an immortal witch? Kind of our job to protect them and this seems like a real jerk move.

[Someone is developing anti-authority tendencies.]

She is. And she hopes her nerdy boyfriend is happy too.

[droptheious]

Let's not, just this once. Waving a peace flag on The Debate.

That really is a jerk move. But that's a corrupt ruling class for you. The citizens they're supposed to take care of are just disposable in the end.

[He's proud of you, Ruby. Fuck the government!!! He lets out a soft chuckle.]

Yeah, he's pretty happy. Very happy.

[clickclickbloom]

I acknowledge and accept this ceasefire. Who knows? Maybe it's the first step toward peace in the future?

It is. What happened on your end wasn't great either.

Just going to have to flip the system when I get back home, because no one's disposable. Not one of those people deserves what could happen.

[She can't help but grin.]

She's glad. Super glad.

Might have to come over there and hug him she's so glad.

[droptheious]

Maybe! Stranger things have happened.

That doesn't surprise me. If anyone can manage that, it's you, I'm pretty sure.

[Ruby can just motivate-speech them into being better people. He's pretty damn sure of that. His smile softens, just a little.]

Well, he'd never turn down an offer like that.

[clickclickbloom]

Here's hoping! Just have to get through to a corrupt government official and take down an immortal witch at the same time when I get home. Maybe fit some breakfast in there too. No pressure, right?

[There was a lot of pressure. But she was going to do her very best.]

Great. I'll pick up some lunch and be right over.

[Because she assumes he hasn't eaten either.]

What do you feel like?

[droptheious]

Minimal pressure. You've got this.

[Of course, he hasn't eaten. He never remembers to eat. He considers this for a moment, then a little cautiously:]

I guess pizza would be good?

[Yes, he is allowing pizza back into their relationship. ]

[clickclickbloom]

Exactly~!

[The way her smile lights up when he says pizza is something to behold. Honestly she's happy for any sign that things are getting better between the two of them.]

Pizza it is! Clear off a bit of the table down there. I'll bring plates down when I get there.

[Because she doesn't expect him to stop sciencing.]

[droptheious]

[Oh, that's a lovely smile and it brings one of his own out- his cheeks colouring a little. He gives a little slap-dash salute. ]

Aye-aye, can do. One pizza-designated space coming up!

[clickclickbloom]

Be there in a few!

[She closes the feed. And while she doesn't mention it. She does give the slippers a try again to see if they'll take her to his house. They don't. But now that she knows how they work she thinks it's better not to mention that to him until she actually works through this.

Rough half an hour to forty minutes later she does come barreling down his stairs with a pizza box in hand, a few plates and a smile on her face.]

Ta-da~! I made it!

Not the pizza- I ordered that.

But I made it here!