Deerington inbox

[droptheious]

FROM: SUBJECT: FERN Ooo slang part the second FERN i think we just shared electrons, because i'm feeling a covalent bond between us LANCE Pidge, I need your help. I gotta send a meme to Chloe but ... DIPPER Hey Varian. You know those crazy alchemy bombs you used... PETER Hey Varian, this is Peter. Um, Peter Graham. USAGI Soooooooo~ How'd the date go? MAKO Varian— Checking in. SHIRO i think one of us put a chicken patty in my toaster EDDIE Hey. We need to talk. MELIUS 𝐻𝒾. 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒾𝓉 𝓁𝑜𝑜𝓀𝓈 𝓌𝑒𝒾𝓇𝒹 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓇𝓉 EDA Hey, kid. I... owe you an apology. LUZ Valentines MAUL I have a proposition for a project I think you'll be interested in USAGI I LOVE YOU FERN DUDE you still have your bandana! BUZZ Morning. I heard from Fern you wanted to go out into the blizzard. FERN dude your profile changed USAGI Ruby told me about the breakup. GLITCH Varian, I'm gonna go live somewhere else for now MAKO A "nerd" is somebody smart... MAUL Gifts FERN heeyyyy quick question FERN Christmas is coming up!!! CHLOE god who the FUCK ever thought emojis were a good idea??? KRISTOFF Varian,It's getting colder so I thought you could use this FERN heyyyy Variable RAPUNZEL okay not to put you on the spot but... EDA Potion time NEO Dude, I can mine antidote shit here! GLITCH Got this in my basket. EDA hey smart kid TEN Hallo ADAM Hey, k-- uh, Varian. I just wanted to check in USAGI I'm sorry I worried you and fainted on you yesterday. AMARA i lived, bitch NEO Debatably good news, asshole USAGI Hey Varian! It's Usagi OSCAR I'm sorry, Varian. Tell me what you need FERN a dark past huh MAUL Varian. I am in great need of your assistance FERN Varian VARIAN I CAN EAT FOOD USAGI How much moon essence do you have? USAGI VIVI-KUN, VIVI-KUN GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT! RICHIE well I promised FERN A TOTALLY INCOMPLETE LIST OF OOO WORDS 'N SLANG GLITCH VARIAN ARE THERE BUGS IN THE WATER?! USAGI To help with restless nights and the... VIRA-LORR Little alchemist. I have a gift for you. MARTIN Hi, Varian. This is Martin. I wanted to reach out... USAGI Hi Varian, sweetie! I have a question for you. GLITCH varian I need to talk to you. it's important. USAGI I need you not to panic after what I tell you. FERN dog you have so many vests IRONHIDE HONK HONK USAGI ... I'm sorry I couldn't help you better, Varian EMERALD Hey, V. Not that I care that much or anything... FERN tell me when you're alive FERN Varian i stabbed two people AMARA hey weirdo i have something for you FERN is the Rapunzel in town your Rapunzel? PENNY Salutations!! You do not know me, but my name is Penny Polendina YANG Hey, is this Varian? I think we've met once before. FERN hey can we talk FERN you told ruby MAUL Surviving another year is always an occasion worth celebrating USAGI Hey I wanted to apologise USAGI VARIAN-KUUUUNNN!!!! FERN birth MAUL Look what just arrived for me. KATHERINE Do you want to get paid to make more purple goo things? FERN ok i know you're good with plants but what about animals FERN dog interested in means girls or guys

TO: SUBJECT: USAGI So. Maul dropped by, he's got his memories back. ADAM I'm worried about Shiro FERN Hey handsome OSCAR You've been weirdly quiet lately FERN Guess what I haven't told you lately? USAGI Hey. I'm back from the dead and I feel like trash. FERN I made meatloaf that may or may not poison us! Emerald Hey. I know you probably don't want to talk to anyone right now... BELLA Hey Bella. You've dated someone who's a different species to you right? BILL Hi, Fern mentioned you were interested in interdimensional portals... FERN Aw, your pictures are nice! KURT Hey. Are you around? RICHIE Is it just me or is Eddie acting weirder than usual? QROW Hey. Checking up on you. EDA Hi Eda. Hope Ruddiger found you okay. GLITCH Hey. What happened between you and Maul? LUNA Luna- I uh... I think I need your help EDDIE So hey, I finally worked out how to replicate the Antidote OSCAR So, I noticed Ozpin has shown up. ROGUE Hey, I managed to replicate the Antidote KURT Hey. We're back. None of us are dead. QROW Uh... hey. How are you guys holding up? PETER You gave Ruby the haunted dolls GLITCH Hey, Bud. Sorry I tried to murder you with a robot KURT I'm probably the last person you want to talk to... JON I'm sorry I attacked you JON Stay away from Fern. FERN Hey you still haven't got me those baking ingredients FERN Okay so the Betties are upping their war... USAGI Hey. So. Update. NEO You tried to bury her alive? SERIOUSLY? USAGI Emotions are really difficult FERN OH MY GOD YOU HAVE ONE TOO FERN Okay this better be to Fern this time. WYNONNA So guess who got into the fridge and ate literally everything in there.

code by cawaii

Comments

[droptheious]

I was trying to be!! I just... inhaled at the wrong time.

[And he learned an important lesson about kissing someone made of grass, so that's... got to count for something right.]

Right. Right. Notes made. Stop at second sentence.

[Pray for him, Usagi. But hey, talking up Fern's progress is a welcome subject so:]

Yeah! He's really working hard on all of that. We dealt with a few of the weird memories of like... Cynthia and stuff and he's learned not to always jump right to violence. He's doing great, I'm really proud of him.

[lightthedarkness]

I'll take your word for it. I don't really want to make out with anyone made of plants if I can help it.

[In the whole "monster fucker" relationship, Usagi IS the monster, all things considered as the alien from another planet.]

I hope he's proud of himself too. And... didn't... hurt Cynthia. She's been hurt enough as it is.

[droptheious]

Fern's the only one here anyway, and he's spoken for. Unless you count the Moss King?

[Fern probably doesn't.]

He is! And he didn't. We planted her... hearts? I guess they were. No violence at all.

[lightthedarkness]

No, no I don't and no thank you. Fern isn't really my type. [Not that... anyone found her to be THEIR type, considering. She was Chloe's and that was about it.]

Mnn, that's how I got so many elixirs actually, was constantly going back and planting the hearts.

[droptheious]

Who is your type, anyway? Out of curiosity.

[Sorry, Usagi, maybe one day you'll be lucky in love here!]

Oh, so that's how you did it. That's pretty smart.

[lightthedarkness]

[Her type is Mamoru.] I mean, most of the time I compare people to Mamo-chan but I guess if we're talking like... IN GENERAL without comparing them to Mamoru... [And finding them lacking.]

Mmmmmmmmmm.... Well, personality-wise, I want someone supportive, and kind, and not in the "I'm only nice in private" kind of way. I want someone who wouldn't mind my hugging them, holding their hand, kissing them, or asking for kisses in public. I don't keep my attraction to someone behind closed doors, ya know? I want someone who is willing to try things for me, like at least ONCE. I don't need someone as energetic as I am. [Literally, only her kid is like her and it's her kid.] Someone who lets me help them and will help me. I want them to WANT to be with me, I want them to be happy with me. I've seen western romances, so many of them the couples feel like they HAVE to be with one another. I don't want to be teased all the time. Some teasing is fine, even I do it. But our relationship shouldn't be one where we're fighting more than anything else. I hate that.

My type is someone who sees me as an equal. Not needing me to save them, and not needing to save me. Someone who wants to be by my side.

[Which Mamoru is in all things.] .... that said if they can lift me up and carry me, well... that is incredibly attractive. [She's a rabbit that likes to be carried, don't judge.]

I have my moments.

[droptheious]

[Varian regrets his question maybe four sentences into this. He doesn't know what he was expected, some syrupy sweet comment that she's already found her type and that is Mamoru. He got... well, he's very informed now at least. ]

...That was very extensive. I'm gonna guess Mamoru ticks all those boxes?

[Look, if there's one thing Varian is not gonna judge on, it's that. He lets out a soft little awkward 'heh'.]

Y-yeah. That last one is pretty cool. I like that, too.

[lightthedarkness]

All of them and then some. He's my prince. [Literally. She takes a deep breath.]

But... [He's not here. She waved a dismissive hand.] anyway, we're talking about your flirting problem.

Does Fern know you like it? [She grins. He's ABOUT to.]

[droptheious]

Awww. That's kinda sweet.

[He lets out a soft whine at her calling it a problem. Such cruelty. He does blush a little at the question.]

Um, yeah. I'm- I'm pretty sure he's picked up on that by now. Pun not intended.

[lightthedarkness]

I'm a massive romantic at heart.

Oh good, don't need to call him and tell him, then. And we both know I would.

[droptheious]

I have noticed that. Just a little.

[Don't do this to him, this is torture.]

Oh, I know, I know- but it's really fine. He worked that one out, pretty sure.

[He's not subtle about it. ]

Woops, wrong tag

[lightthedarkness]

Oh, Oh Varian sweetie, you have no idea how bad I can be.

It's pretty fun, being picked up.

<3

[droptheious]

I don't think I ever actually want to know just how bad you can be.

[He lets out a nervous little chuckle.]

Y-yeah. It's kinda nice, too. Safe, y'know?

[lightthedarkness]

Well, a kiss between and Mamo-chan was so passionate and powerful it literally created a new weapon that allowed me to save the Earth... again.

[droptheious]

Oh. How does that even- how does that even happen?

[How does a kiss create a weapon? ]

[lightthedarkness]

Mamo-chan and I combined our powers. I don't know how else to explain it. I haven't really bothered figuring it out.

[droptheious]

[There's definitely a nerdy little whine on his end.]

Usaagiii why wouldn't you try to figure that out? A kiss makes a whole weapon? That's definitely something to try and learn.

[lightthedarkness]

I mean, if Mamoru shows up, I'll be sure to insist we practice and practice and practice until we make a new weapon. How's that?

[droptheious]

[A little sound of sheer mortification escapes him.]

Nope. No. Already regret this conversation track. I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that.

[lightthedarkness]

Should I name the weapon after you once we make it? The Vivimoon, kinda has a nice ring to it, sounds adorable.

[droptheious]

[The noise turns into a proper little whiiiiiiiine.]

Oh god, please- please don't do that.

[lightthedarkness]

[She relents.] Some things you just kinda have to accept HAPPEN, Varian. Like, how a DROP of Sunlight FALLS from the sky when we both know the sun is millions of miles away and, then, of all things, GROWS A FLOWER that can HEAL people of literally EVERYTHING.

All things considered, my holding my fiance's hand or kissing him and making a weapon from that alone is literally nothing in comparison.

[droptheious]

I mean, technically the Sundrop is... well, it's something else. More magical, cosmic artefact than a literal drop of sunlight. But yeah, fair, the attaching to the flower thing was weird. Also the other properties it holds besides healing was... pretty wild.

[Like the decay incantation! That's SUPER not fun to die from. 0 out of 10, he does not recommend. ]

I...guess. What with all the... moon powers and everything.

[lightthedarkness]

A magical cosmic artifact wow, never heard that one before.

[droptheious]

...

Okay yeah, that's- that's fair. None of it involved kissing though.

[A LONG fucking pause.]

...Though that would have been a whole new meaning to the phrase "the moonstone and the sundrop coming together". [Oh no, he made a stupid teenage joke about the women in his family back home and now he has Regrets. He's way too awkward for racy jokes why did he think that was a good idea. ] I'm gonna... stop talking now.