Deerington inbox

[droptheious]

FROM: SUBJECT: FERN Ooo slang part the second FERN i think we just shared electrons, because i'm feeling a covalent bond between us LANCE Pidge, I need your help. I gotta send a meme to Chloe but ... DIPPER Hey Varian. You know those crazy alchemy bombs you used... PETER Hey Varian, this is Peter. Um, Peter Graham. USAGI Soooooooo~ How'd the date go? MAKO Varian— Checking in. SHIRO i think one of us put a chicken patty in my toaster EDDIE Hey. We need to talk. MELIUS 𝐻𝒾. 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒾𝓉 𝓁𝑜𝑜𝓀𝓈 𝓌𝑒𝒾𝓇𝒹 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓇𝓉 EDA Hey, kid. I... owe you an apology. LUZ Valentines MAUL I have a proposition for a project I think you'll be interested in USAGI I LOVE YOU FERN DUDE you still have your bandana! BUZZ Morning. I heard from Fern you wanted to go out into the blizzard. FERN dude your profile changed USAGI Ruby told me about the breakup. GLITCH Varian, I'm gonna go live somewhere else for now MAKO A "nerd" is somebody smart... MAUL Gifts FERN heeyyyy quick question FERN Christmas is coming up!!! CHLOE god who the FUCK ever thought emojis were a good idea??? KRISTOFF Varian,It's getting colder so I thought you could use this FERN heyyyy Variable RAPUNZEL okay not to put you on the spot but... EDA Potion time NEO Dude, I can mine antidote shit here! GLITCH Got this in my basket. EDA hey smart kid TEN Hallo ADAM Hey, k-- uh, Varian. I just wanted to check in USAGI I'm sorry I worried you and fainted on you yesterday. AMARA i lived, bitch NEO Debatably good news, asshole USAGI Hey Varian! It's Usagi OSCAR I'm sorry, Varian. Tell me what you need FERN a dark past huh MAUL Varian. I am in great need of your assistance FERN Varian VARIAN I CAN EAT FOOD USAGI How much moon essence do you have? USAGI VIVI-KUN, VIVI-KUN GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT! RICHIE well I promised FERN A TOTALLY INCOMPLETE LIST OF OOO WORDS 'N SLANG GLITCH VARIAN ARE THERE BUGS IN THE WATER?! USAGI To help with restless nights and the... VIRA-LORR Little alchemist. I have a gift for you. MARTIN Hi, Varian. This is Martin. I wanted to reach out... USAGI Hi Varian, sweetie! I have a question for you. GLITCH varian I need to talk to you. it's important. USAGI I need you not to panic after what I tell you. FERN dog you have so many vests IRONHIDE HONK HONK USAGI ... I'm sorry I couldn't help you better, Varian EMERALD Hey, V. Not that I care that much or anything... FERN tell me when you're alive FERN Varian i stabbed two people AMARA hey weirdo i have something for you FERN is the Rapunzel in town your Rapunzel? PENNY Salutations!! You do not know me, but my name is Penny Polendina YANG Hey, is this Varian? I think we've met once before. FERN hey can we talk FERN you told ruby MAUL Surviving another year is always an occasion worth celebrating USAGI Hey I wanted to apologise USAGI VARIAN-KUUUUNNN!!!! FERN birth MAUL Look what just arrived for me. KATHERINE Do you want to get paid to make more purple goo things? FERN ok i know you're good with plants but what about animals FERN dog interested in means girls or guys

TO: SUBJECT: USAGI So. Maul dropped by, he's got his memories back. ADAM I'm worried about Shiro FERN Hey handsome OSCAR You've been weirdly quiet lately FERN Guess what I haven't told you lately? USAGI Hey. I'm back from the dead and I feel like trash. FERN I made meatloaf that may or may not poison us! Emerald Hey. I know you probably don't want to talk to anyone right now... BELLA Hey Bella. You've dated someone who's a different species to you right? BILL Hi, Fern mentioned you were interested in interdimensional portals... FERN Aw, your pictures are nice! KURT Hey. Are you around? RICHIE Is it just me or is Eddie acting weirder than usual? QROW Hey. Checking up on you. EDA Hi Eda. Hope Ruddiger found you okay. GLITCH Hey. What happened between you and Maul? LUNA Luna- I uh... I think I need your help EDDIE So hey, I finally worked out how to replicate the Antidote OSCAR So, I noticed Ozpin has shown up. ROGUE Hey, I managed to replicate the Antidote KURT Hey. We're back. None of us are dead. QROW Uh... hey. How are you guys holding up? PETER You gave Ruby the haunted dolls GLITCH Hey, Bud. Sorry I tried to murder you with a robot KURT I'm probably the last person you want to talk to... JON I'm sorry I attacked you JON Stay away from Fern. FERN Hey you still haven't got me those baking ingredients FERN Okay so the Betties are upping their war... USAGI Hey. So. Update. NEO You tried to bury her alive? SERIOUSLY? USAGI Emotions are really difficult FERN OH MY GOD YOU HAVE ONE TOO FERN Okay this better be to Fern this time. WYNONNA So guess who got into the fridge and ate literally everything in there.

code by cawaii

Comments

[droptheious]

...Right. I'm gonna take the non-answer as an answer.

[Look! He's starting to speak Eda!]

Yes, I've made sure to create a few more just in case. You never can tell with Deerington. It might just make you turn on a whim. Sodder can get like that sometimes.

[owllady]

Great. That's just what I want to hear. [ Eda sighs, looking down at the instructions. ] Guess I got my work cut out of me. At least there's not much else to do here.

[droptheious]

No there's not. Once you get used to it, I promise it's relatively easy. I mean, it's not as complicated as the Antidote here, at least? That... that was supposed to be comforting.

[owllady]

[ Eda snorts a laugh ] Sure. Comforting. [ She claps him on the back, probably too hard because she forgets that he only has one leg. ] I'll try it out. I used to be good at this stuff. I'm just... rusty. Yep.

[droptheious]

[He lets out a soft yelp, his arms pinwheeling as he tries to find a centre of balance again. Eda, please.]

It's okay, I'm sure you'll get it. You're pretty resourceful! And I'll help out as much as I can until you do. I don't mind keeping making them for you until you've got it.

[owllady]

[ Eda grabs one of his arms to keep him on his foot ]

Yeah. Yeah, let's do that. [ She tucks the instructions into her hair. ] Well, thanks.

Your raccoon around here somewhere? [ She rustles around in her hair for a treat she brought for him. ]

[droptheious]

[He offers a fleeting smile of thanks, getting himself set right again.]

You're welcome. I'm glad to help. And sure.

[He lets out a low whistle and Ruddiger appears from some quiet area of the lab. He spots Eda and chitters excitedly, scampering over to sit in front of her expectantly. ]

Heh. He likes you.

[owllady]

Animals love me. [ Is that true? Eda chooses to believe it's true. She crouches down and offers Ruddiger a piece of dinosaur jerky. ] Tell me whatcha think. New business opportunity I'm looking into.

[droptheious]

Honestly, Ruddiger loves anyone who feeds him. I wouldn't get too smug about that if I were you.

[Not to damage her pride or anything. Ruddiger gives her jerky a cautionary sniff, before grabbing it with his little paws, sitting on his haunches to eat it. One done, he cants his head, chittering and clapping his little paws together.]

He says he likes it- what was that?

[owllady]

You just said he likes me. [ Eda snorts a laugh and pulls out another piece for him, giving Ruddiger a little pat on the head. ] Jerky. You want some?

[droptheious]

Did I?

[Oh, he knows he did. He eyes the jerky carefully, before reaching out to take it.]

Um... okay, sure. [He should probably ask what sort of jerky it is first, but nope, he's just gonna take a bite out of it. It didn't kill Ruddiger so he's pretty sure it's safe. He chews thoughtfully, brow furrowing.] Tastes... interesting. What sort of jerky is it?

[owllady]

Not bad, right? [ She laughs and takes a bite herself. ] It's dino jerky! Some guy gave me the idea. I'm gonna sell it. Whatcha think?

[droptheious]

[Cheeewwwwiiing slooower. He takes a moment to mull this over, before swallowing it.]

I'm not sure how I feel about eating an extinct animal. But it would be great for your business? "Get them before they vanish forever. "

[owllady]

Hah! I like that. They ain't extinct here, at least. I got a couple of 'em the other day. [ She grins at him, straightening up ] Maybe you have a future in advertising.

Oh, right. If you need any help sellin' your potions and stuff, you let me know.

[droptheious]

But they are normally. Who knows how long they'll stick around here? And that's fine, I'll remain with that I know.

...Thanks, I wouldn't mind that, there are some useful things people might want to buy. Nothing life-saving, though. I give those for free.

[owllady]

Well, if you ever want a change. [ It's an offer, at least. She laughs. ]

Sure, sure. You're whole 'be a good person thing.' [ She pets Ruddiger on the head before standing up. ] Alright, make what you think people would want, send 'em to me. I got a few of my own, but our potions are pretty different.

[droptheious]

Duly noted. Thanks.

Yup. That thing. And sure, I think I can manage that. And if anyone can haggle a good price for them, it's probably you.

[That's... supposed to be a compliment, he thinks. ]

[owllady]

Hah! You know it, smart kid. Haggling ain't magic, but the way I do it, you'd think it was!

[ She laughs loudly, the sighs. ] Alright. I'll get outta your hair. You got that leg coming, right?

[droptheious]

I... genuinely can't argue with you on that one.

I am! Hopefully, it'll be done before long. Preferably before the next insane thing hits the town.

[owllady]

Hoping for ya. If you need it enchanted, you let me know.

[ Eda pats him on the shoulder before walking to the stairs. She pauses for a moment. ] And, thanks.

[droptheious]

I'll bear that in mind. [He smiles, offering a little wave.] And don't mention it. Happy to help.

[owllady]

[ She gives him a grin and a pair of finger gans, then ducks back up the stairs. ]