Deerington inbox

[droptheious]

FROM: SUBJECT: FERN Ooo slang part the second FERN i think we just shared electrons, because i'm feeling a covalent bond between us LANCE Pidge, I need your help. I gotta send a meme to Chloe but ... DIPPER Hey Varian. You know those crazy alchemy bombs you used... PETER Hey Varian, this is Peter. Um, Peter Graham. USAGI Soooooooo~ How'd the date go? MAKO Varian— Checking in. SHIRO i think one of us put a chicken patty in my toaster EDDIE Hey. We need to talk. MELIUS 𝐻𝒾. 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒾𝓉 𝓁𝑜𝑜𝓀𝓈 𝓌𝑒𝒾𝓇𝒹 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓇𝓉 EDA Hey, kid. I... owe you an apology. LUZ Valentines MAUL I have a proposition for a project I think you'll be interested in USAGI I LOVE YOU FERN DUDE you still have your bandana! BUZZ Morning. I heard from Fern you wanted to go out into the blizzard. FERN dude your profile changed USAGI Ruby told me about the breakup. GLITCH Varian, I'm gonna go live somewhere else for now MAKO A "nerd" is somebody smart... MAUL Gifts FERN heeyyyy quick question FERN Christmas is coming up!!! CHLOE god who the FUCK ever thought emojis were a good idea??? KRISTOFF Varian,It's getting colder so I thought you could use this FERN heyyyy Variable RAPUNZEL okay not to put you on the spot but... EDA Potion time NEO Dude, I can mine antidote shit here! GLITCH Got this in my basket. EDA hey smart kid TEN Hallo ADAM Hey, k-- uh, Varian. I just wanted to check in USAGI I'm sorry I worried you and fainted on you yesterday. AMARA i lived, bitch NEO Debatably good news, asshole USAGI Hey Varian! It's Usagi OSCAR I'm sorry, Varian. Tell me what you need FERN a dark past huh MAUL Varian. I am in great need of your assistance FERN Varian VARIAN I CAN EAT FOOD USAGI How much moon essence do you have? USAGI VIVI-KUN, VIVI-KUN GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT! RICHIE well I promised FERN A TOTALLY INCOMPLETE LIST OF OOO WORDS 'N SLANG GLITCH VARIAN ARE THERE BUGS IN THE WATER?! USAGI To help with restless nights and the... VIRA-LORR Little alchemist. I have a gift for you. MARTIN Hi, Varian. This is Martin. I wanted to reach out... USAGI Hi Varian, sweetie! I have a question for you. GLITCH varian I need to talk to you. it's important. USAGI I need you not to panic after what I tell you. FERN dog you have so many vests IRONHIDE HONK HONK USAGI ... I'm sorry I couldn't help you better, Varian EMERALD Hey, V. Not that I care that much or anything... FERN tell me when you're alive FERN Varian i stabbed two people AMARA hey weirdo i have something for you FERN is the Rapunzel in town your Rapunzel? PENNY Salutations!! You do not know me, but my name is Penny Polendina YANG Hey, is this Varian? I think we've met once before. FERN hey can we talk FERN you told ruby MAUL Surviving another year is always an occasion worth celebrating USAGI Hey I wanted to apologise USAGI VARIAN-KUUUUNNN!!!! FERN birth MAUL Look what just arrived for me. KATHERINE Do you want to get paid to make more purple goo things? FERN ok i know you're good with plants but what about animals FERN dog interested in means girls or guys

TO: SUBJECT: USAGI So. Maul dropped by, he's got his memories back. ADAM I'm worried about Shiro FERN Hey handsome OSCAR You've been weirdly quiet lately FERN Guess what I haven't told you lately? USAGI Hey. I'm back from the dead and I feel like trash. FERN I made meatloaf that may or may not poison us! Emerald Hey. I know you probably don't want to talk to anyone right now... BELLA Hey Bella. You've dated someone who's a different species to you right? BILL Hi, Fern mentioned you were interested in interdimensional portals... FERN Aw, your pictures are nice! KURT Hey. Are you around? RICHIE Is it just me or is Eddie acting weirder than usual? QROW Hey. Checking up on you. EDA Hi Eda. Hope Ruddiger found you okay. GLITCH Hey. What happened between you and Maul? LUNA Luna- I uh... I think I need your help EDDIE So hey, I finally worked out how to replicate the Antidote OSCAR So, I noticed Ozpin has shown up. ROGUE Hey, I managed to replicate the Antidote KURT Hey. We're back. None of us are dead. QROW Uh... hey. How are you guys holding up? PETER You gave Ruby the haunted dolls GLITCH Hey, Bud. Sorry I tried to murder you with a robot KURT I'm probably the last person you want to talk to... JON I'm sorry I attacked you JON Stay away from Fern. FERN Hey you still haven't got me those baking ingredients FERN Okay so the Betties are upping their war... USAGI Hey. So. Update. NEO You tried to bury her alive? SERIOUSLY? USAGI Emotions are really difficult FERN OH MY GOD YOU HAVE ONE TOO FERN Okay this better be to Fern this time. WYNONNA So guess who got into the fridge and ate literally everything in there.

code by cawaii

Comments

[laminae]

wow i'm not going that far

ok fine you've got a bet dude
you're going dooooowwwwn

[droptheious]

You'll see.

Nope. I'm pretty sure of my victory on this one. But I'll let you protect for now.

[laminae]

it's going to be a lot of fun knocking you down a peg

[droptheious]

There IS such a thing as over-confidence, you know.

[laminae]

well, you'd definitely know what having that's like

[droptheious]

OUCH!

Wow. That's punching a little below the belt. I'm going to assume it's you acting out because you can sense your incoming doom.

[laminae]

it could be that
i think it's more likely that you just can't handle hearing the truth

[droptheious]

Nope. It's definitely my thing. You're just in the deepest, darkest depths of denial.

It's okay, Fern. You can't be mathematical all the time.

[laminae]

excuse you!!!
i'm mathematical ALL THE TIME thank you

[droptheious]

But Fern.

Fern, Fern, Fern.

I thought math wasn't cool. Are you saying you're not cool?

Is that what you're saying, Fern?




:)

1/3

[laminae]

what no

[Wait what did he just do.]

[laminae]

it means cool right now
not that that means math is cool
the word is cool

[laminae]

shut up

[droptheious]

Oooooooh so it means cool RIGHT NOW but not at any other time?

Seems like there's some arbitrary rule changing here, is all I'm saying.

[laminae]

ugh no no there is no arbitrary rule-changing you just don't get the rules
that's all it is

[droptheious]

I'm pretty sure I understood the rules perfectly.

[laminae]

nope you totally don't
you are 100% wrong

1/3

[droptheious]

Am I though?

I don't think I am. And Fern. Do you know what a percentage is? Do you know Fern?

[droptheious]

3/3

[droptheious]

It's MATH, Fern.

1/2

[laminae]

[Wow. Wow, is he just never going to win a snark-off against Varian? There's silence on his end as he tries to find some way to respond to that that isn't just another 'shut up', but nothing is coming to him short of actually plotting out some legit prank to get Varian back.]

[laminae]

[He knows he has to say something though, he can't just let Varian win this!!]

ok you know what
you win this battle
but you aren't winning the war

that's right this is no longer just a bet V
this is war
i'm declaring war on you
you're going DOWN dude

[droptheious]

[He is never, ever going to win. Varian finds it hilariously tragic that Fern keeps trying. ]

You're declaring a war on me. To prove that math isn't cool?

Just so I'm clear what hill you're gonna die on here.

[laminae]

[Fern is extremely intent on digging this hole as deep as he possibly can.]

that's exactly what i'm doing
if you're too scared then own up to it now

[droptheious]

[Fern, please.]

I'm not afraid of anything, Fern. Because I already know I've won. Tragically, it appears you don't.