Deerington inbox

[droptheious]

FROM: SUBJECT: FERN Ooo slang part the second FERN i think we just shared electrons, because i'm feeling a covalent bond between us LANCE Pidge, I need your help. I gotta send a meme to Chloe but ... DIPPER Hey Varian. You know those crazy alchemy bombs you used... PETER Hey Varian, this is Peter. Um, Peter Graham. USAGI Soooooooo~ How'd the date go? MAKO Varian— Checking in. SHIRO i think one of us put a chicken patty in my toaster EDDIE Hey. We need to talk. MELIUS 𝐻𝒾. 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒾𝓉 𝓁𝑜𝑜𝓀𝓈 𝓌𝑒𝒾𝓇𝒹 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓇𝓉 EDA Hey, kid. I... owe you an apology. LUZ Valentines MAUL I have a proposition for a project I think you'll be interested in USAGI I LOVE YOU FERN DUDE you still have your bandana! BUZZ Morning. I heard from Fern you wanted to go out into the blizzard. FERN dude your profile changed USAGI Ruby told me about the breakup. GLITCH Varian, I'm gonna go live somewhere else for now MAKO A "nerd" is somebody smart... MAUL Gifts FERN heeyyyy quick question FERN Christmas is coming up!!! CHLOE god who the FUCK ever thought emojis were a good idea??? KRISTOFF Varian,It's getting colder so I thought you could use this FERN heyyyy Variable RAPUNZEL okay not to put you on the spot but... EDA Potion time NEO Dude, I can mine antidote shit here! GLITCH Got this in my basket. EDA hey smart kid TEN Hallo ADAM Hey, k-- uh, Varian. I just wanted to check in USAGI I'm sorry I worried you and fainted on you yesterday. AMARA i lived, bitch NEO Debatably good news, asshole USAGI Hey Varian! It's Usagi OSCAR I'm sorry, Varian. Tell me what you need FERN a dark past huh MAUL Varian. I am in great need of your assistance FERN Varian VARIAN I CAN EAT FOOD USAGI How much moon essence do you have? USAGI VIVI-KUN, VIVI-KUN GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT! RICHIE well I promised FERN A TOTALLY INCOMPLETE LIST OF OOO WORDS 'N SLANG GLITCH VARIAN ARE THERE BUGS IN THE WATER?! USAGI To help with restless nights and the... VIRA-LORR Little alchemist. I have a gift for you. MARTIN Hi, Varian. This is Martin. I wanted to reach out... USAGI Hi Varian, sweetie! I have a question for you. GLITCH varian I need to talk to you. it's important. USAGI I need you not to panic after what I tell you. FERN dog you have so many vests IRONHIDE HONK HONK USAGI ... I'm sorry I couldn't help you better, Varian EMERALD Hey, V. Not that I care that much or anything... FERN tell me when you're alive FERN Varian i stabbed two people AMARA hey weirdo i have something for you FERN is the Rapunzel in town your Rapunzel? PENNY Salutations!! You do not know me, but my name is Penny Polendina YANG Hey, is this Varian? I think we've met once before. FERN hey can we talk FERN you told ruby MAUL Surviving another year is always an occasion worth celebrating USAGI Hey I wanted to apologise USAGI VARIAN-KUUUUNNN!!!! FERN birth MAUL Look what just arrived for me. KATHERINE Do you want to get paid to make more purple goo things? FERN ok i know you're good with plants but what about animals FERN dog interested in means girls or guys

TO: SUBJECT: USAGI So. Maul dropped by, he's got his memories back. ADAM I'm worried about Shiro FERN Hey handsome OSCAR You've been weirdly quiet lately FERN Guess what I haven't told you lately? USAGI Hey. I'm back from the dead and I feel like trash. FERN I made meatloaf that may or may not poison us! Emerald Hey. I know you probably don't want to talk to anyone right now... BELLA Hey Bella. You've dated someone who's a different species to you right? BILL Hi, Fern mentioned you were interested in interdimensional portals... FERN Aw, your pictures are nice! KURT Hey. Are you around? RICHIE Is it just me or is Eddie acting weirder than usual? QROW Hey. Checking up on you. EDA Hi Eda. Hope Ruddiger found you okay. GLITCH Hey. What happened between you and Maul? LUNA Luna- I uh... I think I need your help EDDIE So hey, I finally worked out how to replicate the Antidote OSCAR So, I noticed Ozpin has shown up. ROGUE Hey, I managed to replicate the Antidote KURT Hey. We're back. None of us are dead. QROW Uh... hey. How are you guys holding up? PETER You gave Ruby the haunted dolls GLITCH Hey, Bud. Sorry I tried to murder you with a robot KURT I'm probably the last person you want to talk to... JON I'm sorry I attacked you JON Stay away from Fern. FERN Hey you still haven't got me those baking ingredients FERN Okay so the Betties are upping their war... USAGI Hey. So. Update. NEO You tried to bury her alive? SERIOUSLY? USAGI Emotions are really difficult FERN OH MY GOD YOU HAVE ONE TOO FERN Okay this better be to Fern this time. WYNONNA So guess who got into the fridge and ate literally everything in there.

code by cawaii

Comments

[arclightning]

Great, so, blindfold the raccoon is what I'm hearing.

Or just lock her out of the kitchen. Not like it would matter, Wu feeds her at least a quarter of his dinner every night. That can't be healthy for raccoons.

You should definitely ask. I would appreciate that. Just... don't tell Wu you can talk to her or he might never leave you alone about it.

[ He's spending a long time on that part because the next part of this conversation is... a lot harder. ]

I do, and as far as he tells us, he's dealing with it. His name is Sam. The demon's name is Lucifer.

Demons aren't really a thing back home. We have spirits, and plenty of them are evil by our standards. Koh the Face Stealer, for example.

I guess I don't have to ask why you're not a fan.

[droptheious]

Good luck with that. And eh, Ruddiger eats whatever he can get his paws on- but Wu would be better off giving her something from the pet store. God, is that place even still standing? I don't even know any more.

No problem. She's not fully a Corona animal, so I can't guarantee I'll be able to do it, but I'll willing to try. It sounds like she means a lot to Wu. That's nice.

[God forbid they all need something to lean on here, some beacon of light to pull them through. If having a pet raccoon is what helps Wu along, then that's great. ]

I don't think I've come across him before. Either of them.

...Koh the face stealer? Is that literal?

Zhan Tiri tore my Kingdom to shreds because of a thousands-year-old feud she had with someone who isn't even alive any more. She sword she'd hurt him by hurting Corona and it didn't matter if he wasn't around to see it. She used one of my closest friends like a pawn to get there. She very nearly won. It's... more complicated than that, but that's the gist.

[arclightning]

It's not. We checked. And I've tried to tell him she's an animal and doesn't need spicy noodles but he's convinced she loves spicy noodles, so.

[ That's probably why Mako's talking about her so much. She really is a hopeful little thing in these awful times. ]

It's literal. I mean, I've never met him, but the Avatar before Korra did. If you don't keep a completely neutral expression when you're talking to him, he'll steal your face and keep it. I don't get why anyone goes to talk to him. All the most knowledgeable spirits seem terrible.

[ Just some minor Avatar-world blasphemy, don't mind him. ]

What is it with ancient forces of evil and holding grudges? How'd you manage to stop her?

[droptheious]

Well, even spicy noodles are better than nothing at all, Ruddiger loves apples, but fresh food is a lot harder to come by. We can at least get by on what Fern can grow on himself, but still. It's not the best long-term solution.

[But that beam of hopeful light the animals give off is so important now. ]

...

Well. That's completely terrifying.

[BIG no thanks to that entire thing.]

I wish I knew at this point. She'd stolen these magical artefacts to try and destroy Corona with- but they could never touch or.. well boom. Cass and Rapunzel managed to slam them together and destroy her.

[He was a little bit dead at that point, but he's been told how it went down. ]

[arclightning]

Do we even have a long-term solution? I've been freezing stuff and I know Oscar said something about preservation but we need a lot more fresh food than we're making right now if we're going to stay alive.

[ Mako is getting really, really tired of ancient evils in general. ]

Maybe we need to be collecting more ancient artifacts, too. Just in case.

[droptheious]

Not really. I can make a functioning greenhouse. I have the means to create an artificial sun with some lights- I made one for Fern to help him deal with this place when the sun randomly vanishes. It'd need a more reliable power source, though. I don't trust the electricity in this place to stick around. I could work on that too, if I could get to the junkyard for supplies.

[They're the worst.]

The ones from home aren't here, something I'm exceptionally grateful for. When you combine them it's

bad.

[arclightning]

Well, if you can't find a generator, I worked for a power plant for a while, back home. I know how to keep one running.

[ Perks of Being a Lightningbender, a new novel by Mako. ]

Ancient-evil-wants-them-at-all-costs-bad?

[droptheious]

Oh that's right, you can generate lightning. That's really useful. Thanks, Mako. I'll definitely keep it in mind.

[Mako is a good egg.]

Especially when the aforementioned ancient evil actually manages to get hold of them and very nearly destroys everything. We'd lost - it was an eleventh-hour save that Cass and Rapunzel managed to pull off.

[He was mostly dead at that point. Probably dead? Actually dead? He's not sure. He tries not to think about it too much.]

[arclightning]

Yeah. It's pretty tiring, and less stable here, but if we need it, I can. Whole bunch of lightningbenders back home worked at the plant as their day job. Weeks on end.

Yeah, Vaatu was similar. I told you about him, the one who possessed Korra's uncle. She beat him just in time.

Just once I'd like to beat something that important with a lot of time to spare.

[droptheious]

It's better than nothing, at least. Something to fall back on if we need it.

Yeah, I remember you talking about him. Zhan Tiri was like that. She had some... old grudge with an alchemist who existed thousands of years ago. She wanted to use the power they sought for destruction, he didn't. Those portals I made? They were his design- he originally created them as a prison for her.

Tell me about it. We cut that one way too close.