Deerington inbox

[droptheious]

FROM: SUBJECT: FERN Ooo slang part the second FERN i think we just shared electrons, because i'm feeling a covalent bond between us LANCE Pidge, I need your help. I gotta send a meme to Chloe but ... DIPPER Hey Varian. You know those crazy alchemy bombs you used... PETER Hey Varian, this is Peter. Um, Peter Graham. USAGI Soooooooo~ How'd the date go? MAKO Varian— Checking in. SHIRO i think one of us put a chicken patty in my toaster EDDIE Hey. We need to talk. MELIUS 𝐻𝒾. 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒾𝓉 𝓁𝑜𝑜𝓀𝓈 𝓌𝑒𝒾𝓇𝒹 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓇𝓉 EDA Hey, kid. I... owe you an apology. LUZ Valentines MAUL I have a proposition for a project I think you'll be interested in USAGI I LOVE YOU FERN DUDE you still have your bandana! BUZZ Morning. I heard from Fern you wanted to go out into the blizzard. FERN dude your profile changed USAGI Ruby told me about the breakup. GLITCH Varian, I'm gonna go live somewhere else for now MAKO A "nerd" is somebody smart... MAUL Gifts FERN heeyyyy quick question FERN Christmas is coming up!!! CHLOE god who the FUCK ever thought emojis were a good idea??? KRISTOFF Varian,It's getting colder so I thought you could use this FERN heyyyy Variable RAPUNZEL okay not to put you on the spot but... EDA Potion time NEO Dude, I can mine antidote shit here! GLITCH Got this in my basket. EDA hey smart kid TEN Hallo ADAM Hey, k-- uh, Varian. I just wanted to check in USAGI I'm sorry I worried you and fainted on you yesterday. AMARA i lived, bitch NEO Debatably good news, asshole USAGI Hey Varian! It's Usagi OSCAR I'm sorry, Varian. Tell me what you need FERN a dark past huh MAUL Varian. I am in great need of your assistance FERN Varian VARIAN I CAN EAT FOOD USAGI How much moon essence do you have? USAGI VIVI-KUN, VIVI-KUN GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT! RICHIE well I promised FERN A TOTALLY INCOMPLETE LIST OF OOO WORDS 'N SLANG GLITCH VARIAN ARE THERE BUGS IN THE WATER?! USAGI To help with restless nights and the... VIRA-LORR Little alchemist. I have a gift for you. MARTIN Hi, Varian. This is Martin. I wanted to reach out... USAGI Hi Varian, sweetie! I have a question for you. GLITCH varian I need to talk to you. it's important. USAGI I need you not to panic after what I tell you. FERN dog you have so many vests IRONHIDE HONK HONK USAGI ... I'm sorry I couldn't help you better, Varian EMERALD Hey, V. Not that I care that much or anything... FERN tell me when you're alive FERN Varian i stabbed two people AMARA hey weirdo i have something for you FERN is the Rapunzel in town your Rapunzel? PENNY Salutations!! You do not know me, but my name is Penny Polendina YANG Hey, is this Varian? I think we've met once before. FERN hey can we talk FERN you told ruby MAUL Surviving another year is always an occasion worth celebrating USAGI Hey I wanted to apologise USAGI VARIAN-KUUUUNNN!!!! FERN birth MAUL Look what just arrived for me. KATHERINE Do you want to get paid to make more purple goo things? FERN ok i know you're good with plants but what about animals FERN dog interested in means girls or guys

TO: SUBJECT: USAGI So. Maul dropped by, he's got his memories back. ADAM I'm worried about Shiro FERN Hey handsome OSCAR You've been weirdly quiet lately FERN Guess what I haven't told you lately? USAGI Hey. I'm back from the dead and I feel like trash. FERN I made meatloaf that may or may not poison us! Emerald Hey. I know you probably don't want to talk to anyone right now... BELLA Hey Bella. You've dated someone who's a different species to you right? BILL Hi, Fern mentioned you were interested in interdimensional portals... FERN Aw, your pictures are nice! KURT Hey. Are you around? RICHIE Is it just me or is Eddie acting weirder than usual? QROW Hey. Checking up on you. EDA Hi Eda. Hope Ruddiger found you okay. GLITCH Hey. What happened between you and Maul? LUNA Luna- I uh... I think I need your help EDDIE So hey, I finally worked out how to replicate the Antidote OSCAR So, I noticed Ozpin has shown up. ROGUE Hey, I managed to replicate the Antidote KURT Hey. We're back. None of us are dead. QROW Uh... hey. How are you guys holding up? PETER You gave Ruby the haunted dolls GLITCH Hey, Bud. Sorry I tried to murder you with a robot KURT I'm probably the last person you want to talk to... JON I'm sorry I attacked you JON Stay away from Fern. FERN Hey you still haven't got me those baking ingredients FERN Okay so the Betties are upping their war... USAGI Hey. So. Update. NEO You tried to bury her alive? SERIOUSLY? USAGI Emotions are really difficult FERN OH MY GOD YOU HAVE ONE TOO FERN Okay this better be to Fern this time. WYNONNA So guess who got into the fridge and ate literally everything in there.

code by cawaii

Comments

[droptheious]

[Fern has, indeed, hit the mark. Varian thinks back to what Bella had told him. That non-humans might struggle to accept their non-human parts, that they don't understand why anyone would actually like those parts of them and to encourage them to think otherwise. Might as well take that advice. ]

W-well, I do. I think you're really cute. [Okay, good start.] I- I mean, your hair is really cool a-and when you fight you look amazing, really fierce and dangerous. [Okay, nope, he's blushing a lot now. The coolness has definitely sailed away by now.] Also, your feet are adorable.

[Wow, yeah. Great going. He did great. ]

I...um. Just like you a lot... grass and all.

[laminae]

[Bella hit the nail on the head, she really deserves an award for being so wise when it comes to dating nonhumans. Fern would be pretty happy if they left things at the first compliment, but Varian keeps going and oh geez, his blush is getting darker and darker and he might be actually tugging his hat down at this point because he's getting hideously embarrassed.

Except wait, he stops.]

... My feet are adorable?

[Sorry, he knows his hair is gorgeous because it's based off Finn's, and he isn't that surprised to hear his fighting is cool. But his feet? That's throwing him off, and he lets go of his hat so he can look down at his weird claw feet.]

My feet? Seriously?

[He's utterly bewildered.]

[droptheious]

[Bella truly is the best of them. It's a damn shame that Varian has to take her advice and ramp it up to eleven. He only realises Fern is getting embarrassed when he starts tugging his hat down and oh... maybe he went a little overboard, oops. A nervous laugh bubbles out of him.]

U-um, yeah! I- I mean, I think they're pretty dang cute anyway.

[He rubs the back of his head, looking down at the aforementioned weird claw feet, trying to find words that actually make sense instead of the garbled screaming going on inside his brain currently. ]

No one else has feet like yours, not even Finn. They're uniquely yours, 100% Fern, and I think that's wonderful.

[laminae]

[It's fine, they're deep in this already as embarrassed as Fern is he also appreciates hearing all the compliments. It's new, and it makes his chest feel all warm and like it's going to burst.

He's staring down at his feet, wiggling his weird claws, trying to wrap his head around them being cute. Varian is right about one thing, Finn definitely doesn't have feet like these, they are one hundred percent Fern.]

Um.

[But you know what? That Varian likes them is more important than whether they're weird or not. So he smiles a little, relaxing.]

Thanks. It means a lot to me to hear that. I mean - that you like part of me that's just me, not Finn.

[droptheious]

[It's honestly very encouraging to see Fern not completely shut down the compliment. That's an improvement on the usual and his makes Varian's heart do a little flop-flop. Ah yes, that good ol' dose of oxytocin! ]

Of course I do.

[His expression gentles a bit. He knows this is always going to be one of Fern's biggest hurdles. That he's not Finn. That somehow this fact makes him lesser- something Varian vehemently does not believe in. His hand moves to grip Fern's wrist gently- there's no pulse there, but that's something he's more than used to at this point. ]

Fern. I love you, not Finn. All the parts of you that are just you are amazing to me. I- I mean, y-you're amazing.

[laminae]

[It isn't the easiest thing in the world for Fern to accept these compliments, but he's trying his best. He at least gets Varian's sincerity, and knows that it's his own head that's getting in the way here.

His gaze travels to Varian's hand on his wrist, and his cheeks darken a bit more. Hoo boy, this is a lot. This is so much.]

You are, too. Amazing.

[And despite the problems they had back in the hotel, Fern reaches up to take Varian's cheek in his hand and pull him into another kiss. He's totally risking another grass choking incident but he doesn't really care right now, this is worth it.]

[droptheious]

[It's a little easier for Varian. Sure, he's guarded, but his emotions always bubble close to the surface. It's getting started on talking about his feelings that he struggles with. Once he gets the ball rolling, the words come quickly to him.

But then Fern is touching his face and pulling him in and all the words are just lost. His eyes widen and his breath catches. They really messed this up first time around and he really doesn't want that to happen again. They should be able to kiss each other like a regular teenage couple without making a complete disaster of it.

Okay, okay. So the last time he messed this up by breathing in. So this time he's just... not going to do that. That's fine, who needs oxygen? His chest feels tight and intense but in a good way. It's a good panic if such a thing can exist. He closes his eyes, meeting Fern's lips with his own, the rest of the room fading into the background as he sinks into it. ]

[laminae]

[There's the distinct possibility that another direct kiss like this is going to end the exact same way the first one did, though right now Fern is full of enough overwhelming teenage emotions that he's willing to take that chance. He has no idea what he's doing here aside from really, really wanting to kiss Varian again, and he's feeling pretty dumb as soon as he does it, but also pretty amazing. It's an absolute trainwreck of emotions, honestly.

Plus, Varian is kissing him back and that just makes him feel like fireworks are going off inside of his head, which makes it even harder to think reasonably.

He does eventually pull back though, actually managing to remember this time that Varian needs to breathe.]

[droptheious]

[Varian could definitely agree with the trainwreck sentiment. He's a little less panicked about the situation than the first time. This isn't some insane, desperate move born out of far too many things left unsaid. This is a little more based on solid things- now they largely know where one another stand on...all this.

It doesn't stop his heart from doing cartwheels or butterflies fluttering in his stomach, mind you, his pulse racing as his brain feels mushy and dumb. It sure doesn't stop any of that from happening. When they do pull away, at least Varian has the presence of mind to breath after he's moved away from a grass-inhaling distance. He might have a few stray blades of grass stuck to his lips, but it's better than chocking on them- winners? He blushes when they part- yup his chest is still tight and weird, great cool, cool.]

H-hey. We're getting better at this.

[laminae]

[Even when they break the kiss, Fern is expecting something to go wrong. Why wouldn't it, when it has in the past and they're already so, so bad at this? It's just common sense to expect it.

But it doesn't happen and he is elated. Yeah, okay, for normal people this wouldn't be the least bit remarkable, but look at them, actually having a kiss without messing it up. This is progress for them, and he grins widely, kind of wanting to punch the air or something in victory.]

Way better. Ha ha, at this rate we're gonna be experts!

[Okaaayyy maybe not experts, but at least not disasters. That's something they should be proud of.]

[droptheious]

[Varian heaves out a soft breath of relief- he'd been pretty convinced himself this was headed for disaster, it's a genuine relief that it doesn't. He makes a soft plegh sound, mostly so he can dislodge the grass that did get stuck to his lips. There we go, heckin' flawless.]

I think experts might be a stretch. I'm happy to settle for 'as close to the neighbourhood as normal as we can manage'. Not disasters, anyway! Which, you know, we managed that this time! Go us?

[laminae]

[Aaaaand Fern is just going to watch that, with a little mixture of embarrassment and amusement. It's weird and not something normal people need to worry about but it's also kind of cute.

Ugh, he's weird.]

Heck yeah we did. Not disasters, go us!