Deerington inbox

[droptheious]

FROM: SUBJECT: FERN Ooo slang part the second FERN i think we just shared electrons, because i'm feeling a covalent bond between us LANCE Pidge, I need your help. I gotta send a meme to Chloe but ... DIPPER Hey Varian. You know those crazy alchemy bombs you used... PETER Hey Varian, this is Peter. Um, Peter Graham. USAGI Soooooooo~ How'd the date go? MAKO Varian— Checking in. SHIRO i think one of us put a chicken patty in my toaster EDDIE Hey. We need to talk. MELIUS 𝐻𝒾. 𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒾𝓉 𝓁𝑜𝑜𝓀𝓈 𝓌𝑒𝒾𝓇𝒹 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒾𝓉 𝒾𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓇𝓉 EDA Hey, kid. I... owe you an apology. LUZ Valentines MAUL I have a proposition for a project I think you'll be interested in USAGI I LOVE YOU FERN DUDE you still have your bandana! BUZZ Morning. I heard from Fern you wanted to go out into the blizzard. FERN dude your profile changed USAGI Ruby told me about the breakup. GLITCH Varian, I'm gonna go live somewhere else for now MAKO A "nerd" is somebody smart... MAUL Gifts FERN heeyyyy quick question FERN Christmas is coming up!!! CHLOE god who the FUCK ever thought emojis were a good idea??? KRISTOFF Varian,It's getting colder so I thought you could use this FERN heyyyy Variable RAPUNZEL okay not to put you on the spot but... EDA Potion time NEO Dude, I can mine antidote shit here! GLITCH Got this in my basket. EDA hey smart kid TEN Hallo ADAM Hey, k-- uh, Varian. I just wanted to check in USAGI I'm sorry I worried you and fainted on you yesterday. AMARA i lived, bitch NEO Debatably good news, asshole USAGI Hey Varian! It's Usagi OSCAR I'm sorry, Varian. Tell me what you need FERN a dark past huh MAUL Varian. I am in great need of your assistance FERN Varian VARIAN I CAN EAT FOOD USAGI How much moon essence do you have? USAGI VIVI-KUN, VIVI-KUN GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT! RICHIE well I promised FERN A TOTALLY INCOMPLETE LIST OF OOO WORDS 'N SLANG GLITCH VARIAN ARE THERE BUGS IN THE WATER?! USAGI To help with restless nights and the... VIRA-LORR Little alchemist. I have a gift for you. MARTIN Hi, Varian. This is Martin. I wanted to reach out... USAGI Hi Varian, sweetie! I have a question for you. GLITCH varian I need to talk to you. it's important. USAGI I need you not to panic after what I tell you. FERN dog you have so many vests IRONHIDE HONK HONK USAGI ... I'm sorry I couldn't help you better, Varian EMERALD Hey, V. Not that I care that much or anything... FERN tell me when you're alive FERN Varian i stabbed two people AMARA hey weirdo i have something for you FERN is the Rapunzel in town your Rapunzel? PENNY Salutations!! You do not know me, but my name is Penny Polendina YANG Hey, is this Varian? I think we've met once before. FERN hey can we talk FERN you told ruby MAUL Surviving another year is always an occasion worth celebrating USAGI Hey I wanted to apologise USAGI VARIAN-KUUUUNNN!!!! FERN birth MAUL Look what just arrived for me. KATHERINE Do you want to get paid to make more purple goo things? FERN ok i know you're good with plants but what about animals FERN dog interested in means girls or guys

TO: SUBJECT: USAGI So. Maul dropped by, he's got his memories back. ADAM I'm worried about Shiro FERN Hey handsome OSCAR You've been weirdly quiet lately FERN Guess what I haven't told you lately? USAGI Hey. I'm back from the dead and I feel like trash. FERN I made meatloaf that may or may not poison us! Emerald Hey. I know you probably don't want to talk to anyone right now... BELLA Hey Bella. You've dated someone who's a different species to you right? BILL Hi, Fern mentioned you were interested in interdimensional portals... FERN Aw, your pictures are nice! KURT Hey. Are you around? RICHIE Is it just me or is Eddie acting weirder than usual? QROW Hey. Checking up on you. EDA Hi Eda. Hope Ruddiger found you okay. GLITCH Hey. What happened between you and Maul? LUNA Luna- I uh... I think I need your help EDDIE So hey, I finally worked out how to replicate the Antidote OSCAR So, I noticed Ozpin has shown up. ROGUE Hey, I managed to replicate the Antidote KURT Hey. We're back. None of us are dead. QROW Uh... hey. How are you guys holding up? PETER You gave Ruby the haunted dolls GLITCH Hey, Bud. Sorry I tried to murder you with a robot KURT I'm probably the last person you want to talk to... JON I'm sorry I attacked you JON Stay away from Fern. FERN Hey you still haven't got me those baking ingredients FERN Okay so the Betties are upping their war... USAGI Hey. So. Update. NEO You tried to bury her alive? SERIOUSLY? USAGI Emotions are really difficult FERN OH MY GOD YOU HAVE ONE TOO FERN Okay this better be to Fern this time. WYNONNA So guess who got into the fridge and ate literally everything in there.

code by cawaii

Comments

[droptheious]

[Varian notices the message from Maul pop up and for a long time considers not responding at all. He doesn't even open it at first. It remains as unread in Maul's inbox for hours. Eventually, though, he does read it.

He wasn't expecting sincerity. He certainly wasn't expecting an apology. He was expecting Maul to go off the handle and for him to have to cut someone else from his life who he really didn't want to- but would have to.

He puts his Fluid down and leaves it a little longer. Mulling over his answer. One of his downfalls is that he has a touch-fire temper and he has a tendency to not think about his words before he says them. He doesn't want to do that this time. He wants to think. He wants to get this right.

He reads it once more before finally replying at some god-awful time in the wee hours of the morning because he never sleeps anyway.]

It's not dramatic when you tried to kill him. He's genuinely afraid of you, and it was petty and childish of you to bait him. You're supposed to be an adult. Act like one.

I need you to understand why this is important to me. It was a broken promise that led to me destroying my own life back home. I don't trust people easily either and when I put my faith in someone making a promise to me, I expect them to keep it. I don't forgive broken promises easily.

[It's something that mars him deeply. He did forgive Rapunzel eventually - but it took a very long time and the scars from what happened will stay with him forever. ]

Glitch has left now. He's like a brother to me and I honestly don't know if he'll even come back. He didn't even stick around to talk to me. He just left a note and bailed.

[Which hurts a lot too, if he's honest. He thought he and Glitch were close, but he didn't even get a proper goodbye. Just a note attached to his door. And while Maul was the cause of that, he can't blame him for all the hurt there. ]

I don't want to cut you out of my life. You won't get any better if everyone turns their back on you. I know what happens in those situations and it's not pretty. But I need you to understand how much this hurt and how this can never happen again. You can't go near Glitch, you need to leave him alone because that was NOT funny and it wasn't okay. Don't promise me anything. That ship has sailed. You're just going to have to do that off your own back.

The rest can come with time. I need to know you can do this for me. Please.

[survivalthroughhate]

[Maul doesn't expect to receive a reply. He was serious about letting Varian write him off if he so wanted. Instead, he shuts the matter out of his mind the way he often does with unpleasant things. He spends the day with Reaper and it's a tonic upon his mind.

He's fast asleep when the message comes in and doesn't see it until the morning of the 26th. When he wakes and sees that Varian has actually responded, he's surprised. Apparently he must have done something right in the words he'd written down.

The feeling of guilt had eased itself up but Maul still disliked where this left them. So he sent back another lengthy reply, composed and then looked over several times before being sent.]

Then I am sorry again that I betrayed your trust. It is a difficult thing to think of the feelings of others when one goes their whole life thinking only of themselves.

[Notably, while Maul says he's sorry for directly hurting Varian, he still doesn't regret the actions that have led to this point. Maul is still incapable of feeling guilt or regret upon his nascent conscience for such acts, especially when they revolve around someone he dislikes as much as Glitch. It's still small steps for him.]

I'll try.

I wish I could give you more of an assurance than that but I can't. After a lifetime of acting the way I have, change is a difficult thing. Not impossible, but what things that come naturally to other people that they have learned when they are children are hard lessons that have yet to stick with me. It is far too easy to slip back into my old ways, to care only about myself instead of others, and damn the consequences for how my actions affect them.

At least you can be assured that I was conditioned all throughout my early life to put forth my whole effort to something when I am attempting to reach a goal. If I didn't, punishment and death is what awaited me. So I have learned to give 100% when doing something or not attempt it at all. That is what I shall do here. If it kills me, I will do better here. That is what I mean when I say I will try.

[droptheious]

[Varian reads what Maul sent him, carefully and slowly. He reads it a few times again and mulls over his response. He wants this to be composed- not knee-jerk anger and hurt.]

Trying is important. It's a good first step.

I'll need some time and space to deal with what happened. I need time to forgive you for what you did to Glitch and the whole promise-breaking thing. But it will happen, okay? I just need to be able to work through it on my own. I'm glad to hear that you want to do better- and you're not willing to give up. That's good.

[survivalthroughhate]

Then I will wait for the day you can forgive me. Patience has never been my strongest trait, but in this case, I think I can have some. I did not expect you to even give me another chance but I will not waste it.

I know you have been through what I have, and so that is why you continue to try and guide me down a new path, but there is one marked difference between us: you have done some bad in your past, but overall, you are a good person even if you do not believe it. But I am someone who has naturally been wicked my whole life and committed many evil acts without ever trying to atone for them or even feeling regret for what I had done. So while turning back to good was a natural course of action for you, it is something entirely foreign to my nature.

[He didn't say this to protest or start anymore arguments about himself, merely trying to explain what he saw in himself versus what he saw in his friend.]

[droptheious]

I'm sure you can manage it.

[That's something Varian's learned at least. If you genuinely want something, you will wait for it. ]

I like to believe that no one is beyond being better. I need to believe that. Because you're right, I don't believe I'm a good person. Not really. I learned how to be better. You grew up knowing no difference - now you do. Use that and build from it.

[survivalthroughhate]

Considering how much time you've spent on me, a Dark Lord of the Sith, trying to help me be better when you didn't have to give me anymore effort than it took to turn your back on me? Yes, that definitely qualifies you as being a good person.

[Most people, and quite a few in Deerington, had given up on Maul after a single conversation. He couldn't blame them. He was a difficult being to get along with even at the best of times and he was astounded how many people still managed to like him for who he was.]

Stay safe, my friend. Pass on my apology to Fern, if he so chooses to accept it, for I'm sure he was affected by this too.

[droptheious]

I just believe everyone deserves a second chance. Giving up on them won't help them towards that. Not ever.

[Maybe if someone had reached out to him sooner, he'd be less of a self-loathing mess now. ]

You too. And I will.