Varian (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
droptheious) wrote2022-04-30 07:37 pm
droptheious) wrote2022-04-30 07:37 pm
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cawaii
Varian
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cawaii
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Fortunately, he's only playing around. Harumasa sits up straighter and his tiger features disappear for the moment. He listens to Jun, and his heart hurts a little. Not having a parent in this life, he can only imagine what it feels like to disappoint a father.
But....
Harumasa looks down for a moment. His weary heart feels the weight of Luke's worst moment all the more strongly, now.]
... I definitely understand that. I do.
But do we know what happens when someone who's been Sealed gets this app? We could send him away, but he'd still have the Libra app, won't he?
[Will it unravel the Seal slowly or will it be fast? Will the Seal continue to hold back both Luke's power and his memories of Krusnik?]
There are... things in Luke's past life that I saw. And I get the horrible feeling that those memories are going to drag him into this whether we want it or not. If I leave it alone... then I'm just running away from what I did to get him in this mess, aren't I?
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For now, however, they have more serious matters to focus on. He nods, his free arm moving to wrap around Jun's waist in turn, giving him a gentle squeeze. ]
I absolutely understand that. Like... I mean it when I say that we'll do everything we can to protect him, and we will, I'm more than willing to help with that. I don't believe anyone should have to face anything alone. But you're right... we can't guarantee we can always be there for him.
[ He nods at Haru. ]
But Haru's right, too. As soon as a person gets put on the app, everything changes. I- I don't think there's any stopping it. His past life memories will come, he'll face dangerous situations, he doesn't even have to wilfully walk into danger. I sure didn't do anything to get stuck on the Event Horizon, that was just by the whims of the spirit vein. Just as much as we can't protect him always, we also know that... there's nothing we can do keep him from that danger.
[It's a Catch 22 no matter how they look at it. Varian breathes in. ]
Look, when I told you about how many times it took him to figure out math, it wasn't me saying he's incapable. He's tenacious. He could have quit at any time, he sure whined about it enough to make it clear he didn't want to do it. But he knew he had to do it to pass high school math. He might fall flat on his face many times, but he always gets up and tries again. And I... I think that's the sort of mentality you need to survive this world. His memories of Krusnik are awful, I don't even have to know them to know that. But I think with support to help him through it, he can manage them. And at least then you can offer him them on his own terms, instead of... whatever this world might do to pull them out of him.
[ He shrugs lightly. ]
It's the only option we have where we can control at least some of the variables here.
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Jun will.... shake his head, especially at Haru's talk of running away and Varian's insistence of protecting them]
Luke's not the only one I'm concerned about here.
[He'll focus on them one at a time. First, his eyes will fall on his brother- because he caught that]
Haru, you weren't the one who "got him in this mess". It was Krusnik. You were a child. One that had to grow up way too fast to look after the rest of us, one that suffered far too much to keep us safe. [Haru gave up his own freedom for Jun's sake, it's a fact Jun's not willing to forget] Which... I can't change the past, but at least now Ash and I are in a place we can support you as much as you support us. You can act your own age.
I don't want you feeling like you have to sacrifice yourself again to take care of a sibling that can't take care of themselves. I want you to keep playing D&D with your friends, or staying up too late reading fanfics, or even keep coming up with your stupid excuses to get out of work.
[It's why since Haru's come here, Jun's done so much to help his brother. After everything Haru's been through, after everything he's done for Jun and their other siblings... Haru deserved a chance to enjoy his life for his own sake- just like Jun's been lucky to do all these years. The eclectically-decorated room they were sitting in right now was proof of the life Jun's gotten to live for himself.... and it all started from Haru's sacrifice.
With that said, he turns his attention to Varian]
And you... my love, I know you better than anyone. You are so kind and selfless, you'll do just about anything to help other people- and without any regard to your own needs. But you are already doing so much, Var. I don't want you to collapse under the weight under the responsibility you feel towards helping Luke as he falls flat over and over again on top of everything else you're doing for everyone. You matter too.
[He bites his lip a little] Especially because... as terrible as I'd feel if it goes badly, you two... would feel much worse.
[Because he knows these two. He knows how much guilt they carry in their big hearts. ]
So... I get it. There's no way we can keep him from not remembering things, or keep him out of danger entirely. He needs a support network, I understand. I don't like it, but I understand.
But I want you two to give me your word that you won't give up yourselves to be that for him. That you'll put yourselves first when you need it. That you'll ask for support yourselves when you need it.
Do that, and it'll reassure me.
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Harumasa can't deny that. Jun's certainly right that he has sacrificed a lot for them, and his threshold for what he's willing to give up for the sake of his family is... wider than it should be. It's a difficult thing to shrink back to what's normal. He needs to try, though.]
I'll try, I promise. I'm still... learning that I don't need to do that anymore, so I'll need help for when I don't realize that's what I'm doing.
[Because it's deeply ingrained in him at this point. It happened during his formative years, continued into adolescence, and it only stopped when he'd been forced into isolation at the other facility "for his health." At least Apollo had been there to help.]
... Ah, speaking of stupid reasons to get outta work! I should text Belle and Maxima that I won't be in the day of and the day after it's go-time. Family issues~
[Although his tone of voice is light and joking, he does think it's a wise move on his part. He's not at all certain what his emotional state will be like.]
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...I guess I have been piling things a little too high on my plate lately.
[THAT'S an understatement if ever there was one. He's been adding a lot onto this job list lately, and he knows he has to accept his limits, even if he's very bad at recognising them. But that's why he's glad for Jun. Because Jun can recognise them and knows when he needs to cut himself some extra slack.
He knows Jun has to be taking it seriously to ask him to give his word. Jun would never ask him to promise anything unless things were dire. So he lets out a slow breath. ]
Okay, Jun. I'll make sure not to overstretch my limits with him. If there's a few of us, at least we can tag each other in when we need to, so we're not burning ourselves out on this. You know me, I'll... probably need a nudge too, but I promise if you tell me I have to take a break, I will. No arguments.
[He casts Haru a look. ]
Yeah, I think that's uh... wise. I can't see it going well and you'll need time to decompress after... well, whatever's gonna end up happening.
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Thank you, both of you. [He'll squeeze Varian's hand again lovingly] And don't worry Var, I'll make sure to be your reminder to take breaks. I've gotten pretty good at that.
[As for Haru talking about taking time off... he'll snort]
Haru, my advice? Use this excuse to take the whole week off. Maybe two. If the Fae are coming like you foretold, this is your best chance to dodge that headache.
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You're so right! Haha, I'm putting in for time off~ Who knows what they might do to me?
[He's highly aware that he's an easy target to bully.]
So! Are we all good? We'll probably wanna regroup after this first meeting goes down. I really doubt it'll go well, but it'll at least give us information.
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[ He says that so fucking casually. It's fine, don't worry about it. He smiles, returning Jun's hand squeeze. ]
You are actually, very good at that, I mean. I trust you to take a break when you say I need to.
[VERY few people have that ability, so Jun can be proud of it. ]
Yeah, that's- that's a good idea. I have a feeling this might take more than a few tries to get him in a place where he's willing to talk. But we can figure it out.
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[He's kidding, probably]
We're good. All we can do is try at this point. And even if I'm not good at talking, I would like to be there in some capacity to keep an eye on things.
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[He's not so sure he's turning into a normal tiger, either. Most tigers don't have tails that end with what looks like a cloud in fur form.]
Sounds good to me~ [Harumasa pauses.] Just... be careful. Krusnik wanted him for his power, and I don't know if the Seal will keep that back now that Libra is on his phone.
[It's dangerous enough for him to at least try to warn them about it, even if he can't discuss the specifics. It feels... wrong to do so at this juncture without Luke's consent.]
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[ That is definitely not something a normal tiger has, Bud! ]
I know Jun can look after himself. Maybe if you find a way to hide away? If you don't wanna be too involved? Hide out as a carbuncle or something? [He has faith in you Jun, but he also doesn't want you to take unnecessary risks.] And yeah, that's my concern, too. Once Libra is connected there's always gonna be an element of uncertainty with everything.
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[He's playing a tiny violin for you big bro]
Hm... Carbuncle wouldn't be a bad idea. I could fit in a bag. [Yes a plan is forming in his head, but the curiously because it occurs to him]
What was his power anyway? He didn't really take part in any of the combat training exercises, so I never saw what he was capable of.
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[He will not be a little cat. He won't even be a little tiger.
Harumasa expects the question considering he's been very vague about it so far.]
Hmm... it's... destructive, I know that much. I got the sense that it could do other things in his past life's world, but here? Something was missing. I overheard it being talked about that his power was destructive to the point of it being useless. That was pretty much my cue to start getting Luke out.
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I didn't know tigers had expectations put on them. Do you have to do advertisements for breakfast cereals now? Is that one of your expectations?
[He nods. ]
See? You're definitely small enough to fit into a bag like that. Keep your ears down and you should get through undetected. I... honestly don't expect Luke to notice that much.
[ He likes you Luke, but you're kinda self-involved, Bud! ]
...Destructive to the point of being useless. Hrm. That's... when it gets too much for even Krusnik to consider something they can use... that's pretty bad.
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Think he's going to spend next full moon chowing down on sugary cereal? We should get him a neck handkerchief.
[He nods at the plan. yeah he can make that work.]
Varian has a point. I have powers that could be classified as highly destructive, so I know they can be made to be functional... but it takes a lot of self-discipline, regulation, and training to make it possible. Which...
[He pauses, considering it.]
... Mm, no. I don't think Luke's up for the Seal Knight lifestyle.
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Make it yellow, please, not red. Or even green, I'll accept that. Besides, I'm nowhere near shredded enough! That's a tiger I can't match!
[Harumasa gives them a wry smile.]
Yeah, I doubt Luke would enjoy that. This might have to be something we table until we get there. It's complicated enough as it is without adding training to the mix at this stage.
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It's okay, you can be his weedier cousin. But okay, yellow it is, with all the "frosted" flavouring you can eat.
[ Varian shakes his head at Jun's comment. ]
Luke is... not easy when it comes to taking the hard road on anything. He'll take the easy route a lot of the times, I don't think he has the uh... required self-discipline to manage being a Seal Knight. It's something we will have to be aware of at least. Maybe make sure we have a failsafe to fall back on, just in case he trips his abilities before he has any means to control them.
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Mm, yellow is fitting. And don't despair brother, you might not be shredded but I'm sure there's plenty of furries who like twinks.
[... 💧 ]
More and more this is sounding like if my ex was given a nuke. [NOT REASSURING] Maybe there's a way to restrict powers without a Seal? An item of some sort. Maybe we can talk to Blade for ideas.
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You sure don't see a lotta femboy tigers out there. I guess I'll be filling a niche, in that case~ I take great pride in my delicate figure!
[He works hard to have a waist this snatchable!
Anyway, the young man nods at the two of them.]
An item that could help him control it would probably be more suitable. We can ask Blade once we know Luke's on board with the idea. That can also serve to give him plenty of time to complete his work for Sam before we hit him with another big project.
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How brave and noble of you, to be filling a niche! You must be so proud of yourself. You're a unique catch for any furry out there.
[He senses Jun probably could have made that an innuendo towards him for being a furry who loves (fellow) twinks and he is forever grateful that his dear boyfriend decided better of it. ]
Hmm, that might not be a bad idea honestly. That's definitely more Blade's area than mine.
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Mm, that's the spirit. We'll be rooting for you.
[Will they???]
Alright, then we'll make a note to talk to Blade then.... once he's finished helping Sam. [Because Sam needs to take priority there. But with a plan in store, Jun's feeling better. This wasn't the easiest of conversations... but it was so very necessary.]
Well... I'm hungry now. Think I'm going to go grab a meal from the cafeteria and bring it back. Do you guys want anything?
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Then we're all settled!
[He checks his phone for the time.]
Mm, I'll need to have something light. I've got a barium meal tomorrow morning. Which means I'll probably be useless all day~
[And he will, as it turns out (1).]
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[Varian's proud of them for getting through it! And they didn't even argue that much either! Go them! ]
Sure, I could eat. I'll take whatever the lottery deigns I get today. [ A beat. ] Unless it drops pork on you, Jun, obviously.
[ Because he will always swap what he has for Jun's pork meals so his boyfriend can actually eat! Anyway, Varian has never heard the phrase "barium meal" before and confusion crosses his face. He knows what barium is, he's a chem major after all, but this is throwing him for a loop.]
Um. Haru? Please- please don't eat barium. It's highly toxic.
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Alright, two lottery meals, and one light meal. I'm pretty sure we still have some of those Haru-friendly meals that Ragna made.
[And at Varian having concern about the Barium, he'll glance between them before looking at Haru]
... I'll leave it to you to explain.
[He's teleporting out to get food BYYYYYE]
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[The Bit Must Continue.
NOOOOOO why must HARUMASA explain?! He just wants to nap!! ... Oh, well, Varian's looking genuinely concerned so he's going to do his best.]
Right... so! Barium meals!
[And he's going to proceed to do his best to explain what a barium meal exam is, does, and entails.]