Varian (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
droptheious) wrote2022-04-30 07:37 pm
droptheious) wrote2022-04-30 07:37 pm
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cawaii
Varian
I'm busy creating life-changing inventions, you're welcome. Leave a message.
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cawaii
no subject
Hah, no kidding? Ruddiger does, at least, usually bring helpful trash I can use for my inventions. So I don't mind it so much. So long as he doesn't steal something actually important from someone, y'know?
[Varian doesn't wanna go to prison again!!!]
No problem. [As they get into the room, with plenty of space for them to work, Varian looks around.] Okay, I think we are super clear of gemstones. Pretty sure we're safe!
no subject
Has that happened before?
[He would not be surprised.]
All right. [And he sets his bag and Fluvius down and starts taking out a variety of drinks from the bag: energy drinks, sodas, bottled waters, iced coffees, juice boxes, the works. There's even a single lonely beer can in there.] Just a sip should work. A lot of these are pretty caffeinated.
no subject
[No one expects the Raccoon Inquisition. Ruddiger definitely looks up as a Hand Of Potential Pets is offered and then cruelly taken away. He chitters annoyed, sliding off Varian;s shoulder to sit as close to Noctis as he can- planning to get as underfoot as possible until he gets the scratches so cruelly denied him. ]
I mean... back in Corona he stole some important stuff, but the person who held it was like. An actual threat to us so I think that's fair.
[That's totally fair game, right? He thinks so! He peers at the drinks as Noctis starts to pull them out. He pulls out a notepad and pen of his own. He is prepped for SO many notes!!]
Fantastic. I'll rank them from least caffeinated to most and then see which are most effective, how's that sound? We should get some solid data from that!
no subject
[Noctis starts scanning through the backs of the cans and bottles he's brought with them, arranging them in order from most caffeinated on the left to least caffeinated on the right.]
Yeah, that sounds fine to me. I know for a fact that it works on Coke and Pepsi and Gatorade.
no subject
Honestly, he'd probably be more insulted if you uh... didn't pet him. He doesn't bite, you're safe.
[He nods, looking at the arranged drinks.]
Great! So, how do we wanna test it? I'm assuming someone's gonna have to get injured for this one.
[He sounds excited by the science of it all because there's something fundamentally wrong with this kid. ]
no subject
If someone's going to get injured it ought to be me. I can handle some pain. [He's been managing pain for most of his life, a little bit of bruising in the pursuit of science won't be too bad.] Anyway, someone needs to record it, and I'll leave that to the experienced scientist.
'Sides, [he adds, glancing to Fluvius,] the little guy here needs to practice his aim with that shell, anyway.
no subject
I mean, I'm not gonna say no- not that I want you to get injured or anything, but I'm- hah- I'm trying to be a little safer these days. My dad'd kill me if I got hurt. But yeah! It's- it's probably better I'm conscious to record what's going on.
[That gets a little laugh out of him.]
I'm sure he's gonna have a blast with it.
no subject
[Sadly Noctis must take away the hand so he can fully concentrate on infusing these drinks with healing energy, sorry, Ruddiger. It’s a subtle little light show, a brief glow of soft blue light as Noctis holds a drink in his hand before the energy dissipates. He does this for each drink he’s put out.
You’d think it’d be more obvious which is a working healing potion and which isn’t, but when he’s all done it all looks…pretty much the same as it did before.]
I did say it’s a little underwhelming.
no subject
[Amal would probably dance battle him or...something. Varian starts scribbling notes furiously as Noctis does his thing- poor Ruddiger well and truly forgotten. He skulks off to sit with Fluvius, plotting their doom. ]
I don't know, there was definitely a reaction when you activated your magic. A small reaction is still a reaction, after all.
no subject
[It feels strange to wield this magic. It's unfamiliar to him, right now, as he is, a guy whose only contact with magic before the New Year was chiefly through video games. It's also familiar, in a way Noctis can't entirely fathom—like it's only been sleeping inside him, waiting for him to wake it back up, greeting him like an old friend when he did.]
Hey, uh. Feel free to tell me if I'm prying, but when did the app download itself into your phone?
no subject
[He scribbles down some more notes, glancing up at the question. He offers an awkward smile.]
Oh... well, I'm not originally from this world. I uh- I came from somewhere else- a place called Corona. I never even had a phone before coming here. They didn't exist yet, I'm from like... way, way in the past. Zodiac gave me my phone, so it was already there. That was uh... nearly two years ago now, yeah.
no subject
…how’s the future treating you?
no subject
At the question, he waggles his hand in a so-so motion. ]
Eh, fifty-fifty. There's stuff I really enjoy- like wow you guys have legitimate healthcare now and that's pretty awesome. Electricity is amazing and I've learned about so much technology that's happened in the two hundred years between where I come from and now. But there's a lot of stuff I don't get either. Like memes. And...uh... pretty-pretty much all pop culture, honestly.
no subject
Electricity’s pretty good, yeah. Don’t think I can live without it. [If he couldn’t play Candy Crush every so often to turn his brain off he’d probably start clawing at the walls.] If it helps, though, I don’t get memes these days either. Little too old for that, I guess.
[Kids these days with their deep-fried jpegs and their postmodern memes on the nature of memes. Back in his day, you posted a picture of I Can Haz Cheezburger and you did numbers on MySpace.]
no subject
[Had he been able to go back, he knows he would have been an old-ass man by the time it turned up. Rude.]
That DOES help! Jun's always getting on my case for not being [fingerquotes time] "up to the times" with like, memes and those stupid emojis and stuff. It's not my fault they don't make sense!
[He's grumbling like an old man and not someone on the edge of his 18th birthday but there you go. He is what he is in his soul.]
no subject
[Noctis leans back on his palms and chuckles a little. Aw. This kid acts so old, it’s like he’s talking to someone’s granddad bitching about the good old days.]
Emojis are fine. I like a good emoji. It’s the memes that give me trouble. They fall out of popularity so fast it’s hard for me to keep up.
no subject
[He is the oldest old man in his soul. ]
I just don't get why there are so MANY of them- emojis, I mean. But yeah! The meme thing is so weird! I don't get the humour at all. It's just text on an unrelated picture!
no subject
[Noctis hums, then stands up, stretching his back a little because oof, sitting hunched over like that for a while does not help his old wound any.]
People like having a little picture that sums up how they're feeling, I guess. Although the meanings aren't always obvious. [God knows he has accidentally come off as passive-aggressive in texts with his usage of the wrong emoji.] Memes, though—yeah, I think I can answer this. A friend of mine once told me it's something about the ironic tension of the text over the picture. 'Specially if it's a picture of a movie scene—if you know the context of the scene the irony intensifies.
Trouble is, there's so many these days that it gets hard to keep up. And, y'know, I'm thirty. I'm old and decrepit by Internet standards.
[Linking his hands together behind the back of his neck.]
All right. Hit me with something, let's see how good these potions are.
no subject
[He grimaces a little at the explanation. It's pretty much how Jun put it to him. But less obnoxiously because, unlike Jun, he doesn't think Noctis is trying to get a rise out of him. ]
Ugh, yeah I guess that makes sense. The problem for me is that I've seen so few movies most of them go past my head. But hey, if it makes you feel any better, I'm seventeen and don't get it, so there's hope for you yet!
[He should be living the teenage dream out there online and he does not. BUT HEY, now it's time for more important things! He grins, pulling out a small glass ball, in it is a glowing green liquid.]
Is an explosion okay? Or would you prefer like, a blunt object thrown at you instead?
[Just. Right to offering explosions. ]
no subject
[Varian, buddy. But yeah, Noctis has no real interest in trying to get a rise out of the kid. In fact it's in his best interests not to piss him off at the moment because Noctis already volunteered to get hurt for this experiment.]
You're from the distant past. [Which is a less offensive thing to point out, he thinks, than yeah but you act so much like a grandpa I'm surprised you're seventeen.] I've accepted it, anyway, there's no hope for me.
[A pause.]
...let's hold off on the explosions for now. [Maybe forever please god Noctis is not quite willing to go that far.] But a blunt object should be fine. Maybe a hardcover book.
no subject
[He sounds so delighted about the FIRES. Why would anyone not be delighted about the FIRES?!!
Noctis remains the smartest man alive, and instead of being offended, Varian just nods in commiseration. He gets it. He is also, you know, the oldest teenager alive. That too.]
At least you won't be alone! [He looks a little disappointed he can't immediately start hurling explosives about. But relents and pulls out a pretty solid looking book form his bag. ]
Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, I guess this'll do. Heads up!
[Which is all the warning Noctis gets before Varian just LOBS it at his HEAD. The kid's got freakishly good aim. ]
no subject
[Even knowing it was coming, Noctis is still surprised when the book slams right into his head. He yelps in shock and staggers back and yeowch that hurt. His fingers flex briefly around—nothing, instinctively, and for a moment he's surprised to find that nothing comes when he calls for it, who's blocking my magic—
Then he shakes his head, and his hand drops.]
You have a hell of a throwing arm. D'you need to check the bruise or can I get a potion now?
no subject
[Sometimes, it sure does suck to be Noctis.]
Thanks, I got it from years of building robots and throwing bombs. [Ah yes, the bombs. He wanders over to look at the bruise, tilting his head this way and that, before writing down some notes.] Okay, go for it!
no subject
Oh, good. [And he's going to pick up a soda can, pop it open, and just chug it with the look of someone who is fully aware he's going to hate himself for putting so much shit into his body later. But whatever! This is for science.
Right before Varian's eyes, the bruise heals in seconds until it's like it was never there at all.]
no subject
Fascinating!!! It's an instantaneous result! [He's just gonna..reach out with his pencil to poke at the area he got hit. He doesn't even ask first. ] Does it hurt when I do this?