Varian (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
droptheious) wrote2022-04-30 07:37 pm
droptheious) wrote2022-04-30 07:37 pm
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cawaii
Varian
I'm busy creating life-changing inventions, you're welcome. Leave a message.
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cawaii
no subject
[He is the oldest old man in his soul. ]
I just don't get why there are so MANY of them- emojis, I mean. But yeah! The meme thing is so weird! I don't get the humour at all. It's just text on an unrelated picture!
no subject
[Noctis hums, then stands up, stretching his back a little because oof, sitting hunched over like that for a while does not help his old wound any.]
People like having a little picture that sums up how they're feeling, I guess. Although the meanings aren't always obvious. [God knows he has accidentally come off as passive-aggressive in texts with his usage of the wrong emoji.] Memes, though—yeah, I think I can answer this. A friend of mine once told me it's something about the ironic tension of the text over the picture. 'Specially if it's a picture of a movie scene—if you know the context of the scene the irony intensifies.
Trouble is, there's so many these days that it gets hard to keep up. And, y'know, I'm thirty. I'm old and decrepit by Internet standards.
[Linking his hands together behind the back of his neck.]
All right. Hit me with something, let's see how good these potions are.
no subject
[He grimaces a little at the explanation. It's pretty much how Jun put it to him. But less obnoxiously because, unlike Jun, he doesn't think Noctis is trying to get a rise out of him. ]
Ugh, yeah I guess that makes sense. The problem for me is that I've seen so few movies most of them go past my head. But hey, if it makes you feel any better, I'm seventeen and don't get it, so there's hope for you yet!
[He should be living the teenage dream out there online and he does not. BUT HEY, now it's time for more important things! He grins, pulling out a small glass ball, in it is a glowing green liquid.]
Is an explosion okay? Or would you prefer like, a blunt object thrown at you instead?
[Just. Right to offering explosions. ]
no subject
[Varian, buddy. But yeah, Noctis has no real interest in trying to get a rise out of the kid. In fact it's in his best interests not to piss him off at the moment because Noctis already volunteered to get hurt for this experiment.]
You're from the distant past. [Which is a less offensive thing to point out, he thinks, than yeah but you act so much like a grandpa I'm surprised you're seventeen.] I've accepted it, anyway, there's no hope for me.
[A pause.]
...let's hold off on the explosions for now. [Maybe forever please god Noctis is not quite willing to go that far.] But a blunt object should be fine. Maybe a hardcover book.
no subject
[He sounds so delighted about the FIRES. Why would anyone not be delighted about the FIRES?!!
Noctis remains the smartest man alive, and instead of being offended, Varian just nods in commiseration. He gets it. He is also, you know, the oldest teenager alive. That too.]
At least you won't be alone! [He looks a little disappointed he can't immediately start hurling explosives about. But relents and pulls out a pretty solid looking book form his bag. ]
Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, I guess this'll do. Heads up!
[Which is all the warning Noctis gets before Varian just LOBS it at his HEAD. The kid's got freakishly good aim. ]
no subject
[Even knowing it was coming, Noctis is still surprised when the book slams right into his head. He yelps in shock and staggers back and yeowch that hurt. His fingers flex briefly around—nothing, instinctively, and for a moment he's surprised to find that nothing comes when he calls for it, who's blocking my magic—
Then he shakes his head, and his hand drops.]
You have a hell of a throwing arm. D'you need to check the bruise or can I get a potion now?
no subject
[Sometimes, it sure does suck to be Noctis.]
Thanks, I got it from years of building robots and throwing bombs. [Ah yes, the bombs. He wanders over to look at the bruise, tilting his head this way and that, before writing down some notes.] Okay, go for it!
no subject
Oh, good. [And he's going to pick up a soda can, pop it open, and just chug it with the look of someone who is fully aware he's going to hate himself for putting so much shit into his body later. But whatever! This is for science.
Right before Varian's eyes, the bruise heals in seconds until it's like it was never there at all.]
no subject
Fascinating!!! It's an instantaneous result! [He's just gonna..reach out with his pencil to poke at the area he got hit. He doesn't even ask first. ] Does it hurt when I do this?