Varian (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
droptheious) wrote2022-04-30 07:37 pm
droptheious) wrote2022-04-30 07:37 pm
Kaisou inbox
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cawaii
Varian
I'm busy creating life-changing inventions, you're welcome. Leave a message.
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cawaii
no subject
Uhhhhhhh. Sure? I guess I can do that.
[He'll step out, closing the door behind him to follow Varian outside.]
I uh- if it's some modern piece of technology I can't promise I'll know what it is right away, y'know? But I might be able to figure it out if I can take a look at it.
[Or take it apart. Either or. ]
no subject
Great!
[Once they're outside and in front of the shed, Amal conjures a key from somewhere and opens it up. It's a very big shed, prime to be converted into a workshop, and it's already been insulated. There's just nothing in there except a fresh coat of paint.
Amal turns the lights on.]
So...
[He turns back to Varian.]
I've been thinking. What if—and this is entirely no pressure—what if we converted this into a new workshop for you? Raha said he could put some wards on it so that it won't go the way of your old apartment. I know it's not big enough to live in, but it's big enough for a couple cars, a couple projects. You'd be safe, and you won't bother your neighbors with a sound ward on.
[He rubs at the back of his head as he tries to think about how to phrase all this.]
I realized... I want you to stay close. If I told you to just go off on your own after this Zodiac thing gets resolved, I'd never forgive myself. The Zodiac-sponsored apartments just aren't safe, not for you or for anyone.
[He places his hands on Varian's shoulders.]
If you want your own space outside of here, that's fine. I can put my name on the paperwork for an apartment in Jun's complex if you want and you can live there. But if it's okay with you, I'd still like to apply to be your guardian and make it official.
I want to look after you. Not as a favor from a friend, but as your... whatever.
no subject
A workshop? For me? Seriously? You-you guys don't need it for anything?
[Because this is a big space to give away. But this is something Varian has desperately needed since he came here just a few months shy of a year ago. He's never had a space of his own to work in, just in his cramped apartment and sometimes the chemistry labs in the high school or university if he was lucky. Nothing conducive to any decent work. Even better, this space will be protected, so there will be fewer likely instances of explosions getting out of hand or noise complaints -the latter of which he usually ignored anyway (RIP Zelos) but still- this is a BIG thing to give him.
He's already feeling pretty emotional about all of this- about being given a space to work, being given a safe space to stay when he knows he and Fern definitely don't have that in the Zodiac apartments anymore. It's already a massive amount of generosity he really wasn't expecting after Amal has given him so much already. He definitely wasn't expecting Amal to say that. He turns to stare at him like a deer in headlights, running through that last part of the conversation again in his head to make sure he heard it right. His mouth opens and closes like a goldfish as he struggled to find his voice again, and when he does, the words just tumble out with no thought process filtering them at all. ]
...You actually want me?
[Because he's fully aware he's not easy. He made his own father's life hard for most of his life, he knows that- he saw how much his... everything wore that man down, and every exhausted "not again, Varian" was just a reminder that he was a difficult child to parent. Quirin loves him, he knows that- and the reminder of that does cause a sliver of guilt in him for having this conversation now- but he's pretty sure if his dad could have had Varian be any other way than how he actually was, he probably would have taken it. At least...up until recently. Things had started to get better before he was pulled into this world. But he's not back home where things are healing now, and he's caused nothing but trouble here.
Varian had told Amal that he was the closest thing to having a parent- but there's a big difference between saying that and having someone actively offer to be that for you. Especially when you're an unmitigated disaster that'll cause nothing but headaches and property damage bills. ]
no subject
[Amal is kind of expecting this reaction, and he meets Varian with a soft smile. Even as he hears that question, though, his heart aches. It's the same ache he felt when he heard—Varian needs your unconditional love.
That's what it is, isn't it? That's the key. It's always been.
Though he's revealed his past to his friends, Amal was met with unconditional love. In his time, before and after he was sent to Kaisou—he was met with love by those he loves most. Love begetting love. And at the very beginning of his journey, that one kind-hearted Arkasodara who gave him a spot aboard the boat... That was the act of kindness that started him on this path.
Varian only needs stability and patience to prove himself, but to Amal, he needs no proving at all.
The older man tugs Varian into a warm sandalwood-scented hug, as tight as the ones they shared when Varian came clean about his own story. Amal had supported him then, and he supports him now.]
Varian... [His throat feels tight despite the dozen times or so that he's rehearsed what he should say. In the end, as always, he simply speaks from his heart.] You will always be wanted. You will always have someone who cares for you, who looks out for you.
We might not share blood, we might not look even remotely alike... hells, we're not even from the same world. But that doesn't matter. None of that matters. Because... home is the people you love. Home is the people you miss when you're away.
[He closes his eyes.]
Home is here... if you want it.
no subject
[He's always ended up getting a little too...involved with his work, it turns out. But having a place close to home. Having family who would probably check in and make sure he didn't work himself to death or at the very least remember to eat and sleep was...nice. This wouldn't be miles away from his bed like the catacombs back home are.
The hug is very welcome, because that's what Varian has always needed. Just people who will patiently let him do his thing and give him the support and encouragement he needs to feel like he doesn't have to go above and beyond every single time to just prove his right to be a part of their lives.
He buries his face against Amal, breathing in the sandalwood smell- trying to calm himself down and doing a bad job of it. He'd rather not cry AGAIN this month, he feels like he's already reached an acceptable quota for that. But the tears come anyway- at least these ones are happy tears. ]
I- I'd really like that. To have a home here with- with you. And a family.
no subject
[HA HA BAD JOKE. But seriously, please don't hide yourself away, Varian. He likes you and needs you and wants you in his life. ... Which is exactly why Amal wants to keep him close. The shed is about as close as he can think of, and having Varian take over that third bedroom is a bonus.
He hears and feels Varian struggling to hold back tears, a familiar sensation, as Amal also tries to hold his own in. But once he hears Varian's breathing he can feel his own happiness welling up.
And with it comes elation.]
Yes! Yes, yes—hells yes! [He spins Varian around and then sets him down, but doesn't let go of the hug just yet (unless Varian squirms).] I was so worried that you wouldn't... [But the thought is so ridiculous now that he can't help a teary little laugh.
He collects himself, and now he lets Varian go so he can drop to his knees and take the boy's hands in his own.]
Listen... I can't promise I won't disappoint you now and then, but I promise I'll do my best to learn. I promise I'll protect you, and guide you, and provide for you to the best of my ability... for you, my chingari. My brilliant little spark.
no subject
[Is that something he can do? Is he just bluffing? It can be something Amal can ponder on. Fun times. Still, he really is just joking. He likes being around Amal, too and having an actual home attached to a workplace, family and all is such a comforting thought.
He wasn't expecting the little spin, and a surprised laugh bubbles out of him. He's definitely not letting go of that hug yet.]
Why wouldn't I? You've- you've always had my back, even when I was super in the wrong.
[Which has been a LOT, admittedly!
And wow, those are a lot of promises all at once- and while it does give Varian a slightly nervous twinge, this time he knows he can put full faith that Amal will keep them. It's a big step for him, trusting a promise without a warning to keep it or without huge reservations. It speaks volumes about how much Varian really trusts the man. ]
I know you will. I trust you. And I'll...uh try to listen to that guidance and make you proud. Y'know try to...not make you regret this. [His tone is a little joking but he also means it because obviously this is an equal exchange thing and he needs to prove Amal's not making a mistake. He does give a little smile at the nickname. That makes him feel all kinds of fuzzy. ] ...Chingari [he absolutely is not pronouncing that right] hah that's...I like that.
no subject
Of course I... [He smiles halfway.] I'm not easy to drive away. I hope you've figured that out, and if you haven't, you will soon! It's kind of my thing—I don't give up on people. Not ever.
[Amal knows he'll let Varian down at some point or another because he isn't perfect, but that's not the same as abandoning someone utterly. He's never done this parenting thing before. He's never even really had a proper parent. But when it comes to being stubborn, saving people despite all odds, and loving with his whole heart... there are few who can match him in that.
'I trust you.' That's all he needs to hear. That's what seals the promise.]
If I regret anything, it's not taking you in sooner. [And just to prove it he goes in for another hug.] I was just... so afraid of messing everything up. I still am. But we—we can figure it out together. That's what family does.
[He rubs at Varian's back.]
That's a relief. I couldn't come up with a flower that fit you. [LMAO] But it's more than that. I think... you're a light in the dark for more than just me. And you'll continue to do that as you grow and learn and invent all sorts of things that make our lives better.
no subject
Trust me, I've noticed that. You're almost as bad as Rapunzel with that one. But I'm...glad. I probably need it.
[He definitely needs it. If Rapunzel hadn't been the sort who never gave up on people, he'd still be rotting in Corona's dungeons now. And if Amal hadn't been the sort, well..he doesn't know where he'd be here. Nowhere good.
At least he's prepared for that- people are fallible. That's a hard lesson he had to learn, but at least he can trust Amal will never leave him alone to pick up the pieces and that? That is more than he could ever ask for. More than he still feels he deserves, if he's being honest with himself. But he's trying to be better at that. Letting him deserve good things, and Amal is definitely that.
That's what family does. He gives Amal another tight squeeze. ]
I mean...stuff's been on fire for a while, it's okay. [He's not exactly been easy, and he definitely hasn't had much downtime for talks like this lately.] I believe in you, I don't think you can mess this up as bad as you think you can.
[So there. And wow, Amal, that's a whole lot there. You're gonna kill this kid with all the good feelings you're throwing his way. He's gonna be dead. At the very least, his face hurts from all the smiling he's doing.]
Oh...wow. That's. A lot. [He wants to heavily disagree, but he knows he should be working don't the whole self-loathing thing, so:] Th-thanks? I mean, I hope I can do that, anyway.
no subject
[He's always liked the stories he heard about Rapunzel. Maybe one day he'll be able to talk to the girl who saved his little buddy.]
Hahah... that's true. Things were on fire even before we got the network, so it's not all your fault either. [Hugging Varian is good, so he'll hug right back. Hooray ✨]
I know you will. But no pressure, okay? You've still got a lot of growing to do. [This whole thing has been no pressure, at least on Amal's part. If Varian wants his own apartment instead of a room in the house, fine. If Varian wants Fern to have his own apartment, that's fine too. And if Varian doesn't feel up to the task of being a hero, he doesn't have to be. He just has to be Varian at the end of the day. That's good enough for Amal.]
Fern's welcome to stay here too, by the way. I don't know him as well as I know you, but as long as you want him here, we'll make it work. In my homeland, it's normal for two or three generations to share a house.
As far as I'm concerned, we're all in the same boat.
no subject
[If there's one thing he's brought with him through his (short) life experiences, it's that. The second you leave someone alone...well, they'll lose their way.
He considers this- he's not used to being able to just...be him. Even back in Corona, he has to be the royal alchemist. Just kicking back and being a teenager isn't something he's all that experienced in. His smile softens.]
I think I can manage that. And I'd... I'd like that. I'll ask him what he wants to do- but I appreciate you thinking about him, too. He uh...he means a lot to me.
no subject
He can give this kid a childhood. He's not a normal dad and Varian's not a normal kid and this isn't a normal city, but god damn it, he is going to give Varian a childhood.]
I know he does. That's why I'd never throw him out.
Space is important too, though... Raha and I have been together a while, and living together even longer, but we still have our own rooms.
We're not doing anything with the basement, so I'm sure we could convert part of it if we needed to. Or I can pay for an apartment nearby so he's close but not constantly in your business. We have enough money for that. It's all up to you guys and what you feel comfortable with.
Nothing needs to happen right away, and I want you guys close to me until everything settles down anyway, so... there's time to figure out what you want to do.
no subject
I really appreciate that, too.
[Because he understands Fern is not always the easiest person to talk to, but he means a lot to the alchemist. They've been through a lot together.]
...Yeah, that's something to think about. We had separate rooms in the apartment. It's been...nice having him close. But you're right, it's... we can think about it later. I wouldn't want him to really...leave. And I'm sure he wouldn't want that either. Honestly? I think he could use a safe, stable home just as much as I do.
no subject
Separate rooms can definitely be arranged. You two are teenagers. At some point you'll need some space so you don't chew on each other for no reason, and you'll be grateful for that then.
[He ruffles Varian's hair harmlessly (and not too rough, of course).]
Anyway, I'll let Raha know we can get everything started. Wards and paperwork... I'm going to have to do something nice for him when I get the chance...
no subject
[The hair ruffle is nice, and it pulls a little chuckle out of him.]
Is he gonna be okay with this? I mean, adopting a kid is a pretty big thing. I know it's you doing it and not him, but still. It's gonna affect him, too.
no subject
I asked him the moment I decided I wanted to do it. He's the one who volunteered to help me with everything, including renovating the shed. He's a very good man.
And... [He glances around, as if Raha might be eavesdropping around the corner.] I'll tell you a secret.
In his past life he did the same thing. He found a little girl who had been orphaned, raised her like his own blood, and trained her up to be an amazing battle dancer. Just like me!
no subject
Really? That's- that's great. I- I guess I'm gonna have to get to know him better. That was really good of him.
[Because getting a surprise teenager, especially one that has actively blown up parts of the city multiple times is a big ask for anyone. But as Amal explains it more, it becomes clearer.]
Wow, that's...hah. I can see why you guys are together. That's one heck of a thing to have in common. [A beat.] Please don't ask me to be a battle dancer, I'm so bad at dancing.
no subject
[G'raha also was the one who helped Amal jump worlds in the past, but he's not sure that's information he should divulge right now, especially since it's not something they can replicate.]
I never thought about it that way, but it kind of makes sense to hear you say it.
[He cracks up at Varian's request though.] Don't worry, I wouldn't teach you unless you really wanted to learn. Besides, you'd have to practice your throwing before I could even consider it. How good are you with a bow and arrow?
no subject
[He has accepted that magic is something he has to deal with even if he'd rather not. It's unavoidable! So might as well learn about it. ]
It's good. Having something to bind you together, y'know? It...helps. Having someone who understands where you've come from.
[It's what brought him and Fern together, after all.]
Never used one! I've got a pretty good throwing arm, I can throw my alchemy bombs- but never got to use a bow and arrow before.
no subject
[The more Varian comes to understand it, the less he'll hate it, maybe????]
... Yeah. I still can't believe he chose me. But that's neither here nor there, haha.
[Life is weird when you share the recent trajectory of your life with five other people.]
Reason I asked is because you'll need that aiming arm if you want to be a good dancer. But it's okay if bladed chakrams aren't in your future—I can teach you how to throw daggers, if you want.
no subject
[One day! At least he's a lot better with his OWN magic these days, he's getting there!]
I can! You're a better person than you think you are.
[But they BOTH know what that's like.]
Really? You use your arms to dance? [Forgive him father, he knows nothing. ] Oh man, yes!! I've love to learn that!!
no subject
[Aether/mana: it's delicious life force.]
H-hey... [That's so sweet.] I could say the same about you!
[They are both on the Self Confidence Struggle Bus, it's true.]
You use your whole body actually! But I'd love to teach you how to throw daggers. I'll see about getting you a good set to start with. Sound good?
no subject
...I guess. That's rude.
[This is where they live and it's fine. They're fine!!! Varian grins at this.]
Yeah! OKay, that sounds really good, thanks!
[A new dad AND some daggers! It's a good day to be Varian! ]