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[Varian catches the start and very almost pulls back. For a brief, awful second, he was afraid that this change had opened up a chasm between them that had not existed for a very long time. It's frightening and it makes his heart twist in a terrible way.
But then Fern latches onto him tightly and that worry is at least eased. It doesn't go completely, and Varian doesn't like that it doesn't at all. He hugs his boyfriend back, all the same, shifting to rest his face as he always does in the crook of Fern's neck. There's no comforting, solid smell of grass here. The thing he's relied upon to be a grounding effect for his own anxiety has been suddenly wrenched away. He squeezes his eyes shut, takes in a steady breath. This isn't about him. If he reminds himself about it enough, he might be able to push his discomfort down deep enough to focus on Fern. Because he's what's important here. ]
I'm not- [He bites back the lie. Even now, he can't lie, they promised each other they'd be honest with each other and he's not going back on a promise. Not ever. His fingers move up to brush through Fern's very human hair. ] I'm just worried about you. I- I understand why you're doing this and... why you feel you need to. I'm just scared of this hurting you more.
[And he's scared about what it means that he's struggling so much with this. Those feelings of self-loathing rising up to claw at this chest. Fern deserves better than this. He swallows thickly, trying to keep a hold of his emotions. ]
Sorry...sorry. I'm trying to be better about this. It's- it's not on you. Just worry about yourself, okay? How you feel is what matters here.
[This should be the exact kind of comfort that calms him down, like it has numerous times in the past, but this time it isn't working like that. It helps, sure, but Fern is in the same boat as Varian. His body feels too solid, too similar to Varian's. Too warm. His pulse is pounding in his ears and it's a huge distraction. Unsure of what to do about that, he closes his eyes, keeps his breathing deep and slow, and clings tighter.]
But I care about how you feel. I don't - I can't just... ignore that. You matter to me too much. [Even if he's doing this for his own identity, that still affects Varian, and everyone else in his life. His friends and family. He doesn't exist in isolation, after all, all those people and relationships are a part of him, too.]
I need to get used to this, but I want you to be comfortable, too. This - this isn't gonna work if you aren't.
[That isn't something that ever hit him as hard as it is right now, but it's becoming abundantly clear to him.]
[Fenrn talks about how Varian's feelings matter in this and it just makes his heart wrench harder in his chest. He doesn't feel all that deserving of that right now. He feels selfish and a liar. He knows Fern needs him to be a rock right now and here he is falling apart and thinking about how he feels about it instead of focusing on Fern. The other boy is wrong, his feelings don't matter, this isn't his body, this isn't his life. He doesn't get to have a say in it. ]
I know... I know. It's just-
[He pulls back to put a hand to Fern's cheek- it's fleshy and he can feel the edge of a bone as he brushes a thumb over his boyfriend's cheek. ]
I- I'm sorry. [He apologises again, he feels like he's making things so much worse for Fern because of his own stupid, weird hangups. ] I don't... I don't know why I'm struggling with this so much. I meant it when I said I'd support you with...with this, though. I'll figure it out.
[Even if he has to force himself through it. He needs to be there for Fern- now more than ever. He sucks in a breath, pushing a smile on his face that doesn't quite reach his eyes.]
L-look, you. You only get this for twenty-four hours, right? I... what do you want to do? I definitely owe you a date at this point. Whatever you want to try...now you have this opportunity.
[Sorry Varian, this is what you signed up for. On the upside, even as awful as they're currently feeling, those emotions are helping Fern sort out a few aspects of his identity. Namely who he is in relation to his friends and family, and that even though he's (trying to be) his own individual person, that doesn't mean he's alone. And that isn't something that's just left over from Finn - this is something specific to himself. Fern.
Not that that's something he's about to dwell on right now. Right now he just desperately wants Varian to be okay. His jawbone feels like it's - in the way, or something. Still too solid, and his heart sinks when he hears that his boyfriend is struggling.
... Maybe he's got the right idea, though. Maybe they just need to get out and do something fun for a little while. Get used to this.]
Oh - uh, yeah. Sure. I've been wanting to check out the Watchtower, out in Crenshaw? That might be fun?
[Varian would find some small comfort in knowing this mess is helping Fern- even if it's making him feel absolutely dreadful at the current moment. He feels like he's failing in supporting Fern when he needs him the most. It's not a comforting feeling at all.
He manages another smile, this one a little more natural- much more real. His hand moves down to find Fern's, taking it and squeezing it gently.]
Okay, sounds great. I want to check that out too- I hear the structure of the hoops in it are pretty neat to see.
[That's a smile he's incredibly relieved to see. Fern relaxes a little, squeezing Varian's hand back. Okay, this is a good step forward, they can do this.]
Cool. Let's go, then.
[Fern turns to head out of the lab and up to the main floor of the house. He isn't going to bother with shoes, because even with normal human feet that isn't occurring to him. He does, however, pause and decide to run up to their room to grab the family demon blood sword, just in case. He isn't totally sure he can still make grass swords, so this seems like a safe bet.
It won't even take them that long to get to the Watchtower, since it's connected via the lamp network. All they have to do it hope out to the front yard and then boom! They're arriving within a few seconds. With the gloomy weather the place looks ominous, which makes Fern more excited to check it out.]
[They can absolutely do this. They're getting pros at going on dates now- and some of them don't even end in disaster!!
Varian does notice the lack of shoes- but he knows better than to tell him to put any on. Between how Fern is normally, Luca and Rapunzel back home, footwear is always optional for his loved ones as far as he's concerned. He is kinda glad for the sword, though. He hopes they won't need it, but you can never be too careful.
The lamps are very convenient and a proper grin starts to cross Varian's face as they arrive. The place really does look very cool. He turns his hand a little in Fern's, so their fingers can lace together and it's close enough to normal that he can push everything else to the back of his mind for now. ]
Okay, we made it. What do you wanna do first? Climb up to the top? Check out what's inside? Your choice!
[At least this date seems like it'll be slightly safer. Or at least, there'll be less fire involved. Fern being less flammable like this is the second positive he's noted so far, the first of course being that he can eat food like a regular person.
He's happy to keep his hold on Varian's hand as they travel to the windmill, his sword shoved safely through his backpack so it's out of the way. When they arrive he looks around, taking in the area. It isn't all that far away from the farms, but he's never actually seen the place in person before. It's appropriately creepy, and he lets out an impressed whistle.]
Let's go inside and check it out, and make our way to the top. [Not having stretchy limbs means they need to climb up there the old-fashioned way.] I bet the view up there is great.
[Things are starting to feel a little more...normal. There's still a little unsettled worry gnawing at the back of Varian's head, but he can ignore that in favour of having a good time with his boyfriend. The place is pretty creepy- but he wouldn't expect anything less of Trench at this point. ]
You could probably see the whole city from up there. [His smile grows a little.] Hey, they have food here, right? Probably something to drink too? You can try whatever you like and not have to worry about it as much as you normally would.
[Really, if it was a full-on dungeon Fern would be absolutely thrilled and probably forget about all that anxiety he just had. But this is still pretty good, and it's a good motivator for him to give this a try and see how it goes.]
It's probably too much to hope for that they'll have hamburgers. [But he's grinning all the same, the best thing about being human is not having to rely on photosynthesis.] Maybe they got coffee. Or beer!
[He's very curious to drink some beer and not worry about it being toxic, so he eagerly heads inside, tugging Varian along. The interior is dark but cozy, and there are a couple of other Hunters resting quietly. Fern looks around excitedly, still not letting go of his boyfriend's hand.]
[Eventually, they will find a full-on dungeon in this place and Varian will take him for the best date of his life. ]
You never know, we might luck out.
[It's nice to see the grin, though, and it's easing some of Varian's nervousness too. Now he's over the initial shock, he can see Fern shining through. This may not be the form he's used to, but it's still absolutely the boy he knows and loves inhabiting it.
He lets himself be tugged along, and admittedly, he likes the interior of this place, his smile brightening a little in the gloom.]
Oh wow, it's kinda like the Snuggly Duckling! It's got that "hey, I might get stabbed here at any moment!" vibe. [Because obviously, that's what you want in a drinking establishment. He smiles, heading towards the bar.] Well, if nothing else, I bet we can get you a beer here to try.
It's a bit easier for Fern to let the Watchtower distract him. It's run down, reminding him a little of Ooo. Varian has it summed up pretty well - cozy, in a way that makes you a little scared you might get stabbed. He laughs, happy to start with beers.]
Great! Don't worry, I got this!
[He grins as they approach the bar, briefly letting go of Varian's hand so he can hop onto a stool, spinning around before slamming his fist on the counter. And in his best attempt at a tough, growly voice (more ridiculous than anything), he says:]
[The sort of pubs you think you might get stabbed in are obviously the best kind. It's a very welcome reminder of home.
Varian watches as Fern...definitely does not got this, wincing at the tone of voice that would have absolutely gotten him laughed out of the Snuggly Duckling. The person tending the bar looks Fern up and down, before leaning on it heavily, gruffly retorting. What do you have to trade?
Varian, who definitely doesn't want to swoop in and ruin Fern's show of how much he's got this clears his throat, edging a little closer. ]
[Pshaw, he's totally got this! Fern looks totally confident despite not looking the least bit intimidating. With his grass body gone he can't even shapeshift into his Green Knight form, he's stuck being a skinny kid with long, gorgeous hair. One who blinks at the mention of trading because oh, yeah, that's a thing here.]
Uh. Right.
[He awkwardly shuffles his backpack off, careful to not let his sword clatter to the ground. It's a bit of a struggle, honestly, what with only having one hand, but he manages it, and digs around in it trying to find something he can trade. The bartender doesn't look especially impressed by this display. So much for being cool and tough.]
[Fern isn't even marginally intimidating, no one around here looks intimidated. Varians swiftly realise they are two kids in a very rough bar with exactly three arms and three legs between them and that's probably the only thing keeping them from being kicked out right now.
The barkeep doesn't look impressed with the rocks, not the whole struggle Fern is having to get the rocks. He doesn't really want to lessen Fern's...whatever this is turning into, so he's just gonna double down.]
Oh wow! Those are the BEST rocks you've got too! Definitely worth at least two beers, right?
[Meanwhile, Fern is being a little more obtuse about all of this. It hasn't occurred to him that maybe, maybe trying to pretend to be some tough rowdy Hunter when the two of them are clearly twigs who aren't prepared to barter wasn't the best idea in the world. Nope, he's just looking disheartened his coolness isn't working, though when Varian speaks up to support him he....
He decides to double down. Grabbing a handful of shiny rocks, along with a few random flowers that had been growing in his backpack, Fern slams them all on the bar.]
Yeah! I went through so many giant crabs to get these rocks, and you're not gonna find flowers like these growing anywhere in the city at this time of the year!
[It isn't great but it's something. The barkeep rolls his eyes at the display, but will reluctantly scoop everything up and go to pour them two beers.]
[Varian really wasn't sure what would happen with Fern's doubling down. Maybe it's the crab story, maybe it's the extra flowers, but whatever it is, it seems to work because they get beers out of it! Varian grins, clapping Fern on the back because that seems the best course of action here. He reaches over to pick up Fern's backpack- slinging it over his shoulders, before reaching over to pick up the hard won-beers as soon as they're placed in front of them. ]
A pleasure doing business with you, good sir!
[He takes a step back, towards one of the tables that's out of the way and NOT in everyone's direct line of vision.]
C'mon, I think there's some good seats over there.
[It might have been some form of misplaced pity for a sad-looking kid trying to pawn off a bunch of rocks and flowers as valuable, but oh well. It works, Fern looks thrilled, especially when Varian seems pleased too, and he gives the other boy an appreciative grin for grabbing everything as he picks up his sword.]
Sure, dude.
[He'll head over to the table, taking a seat. With that nonsense all solved the other Hunters go back to whatever they were doing, though a few of them look amused. Fern doesn't really notice, he's too distracted by the fact that that worked and they now have beers to drink.]
This place is so cool, we gotta come back sometime.
[It's definitely misplaced pity for these scrawny twig boys who definitely don't belong here. Still, for now, they have got what they needed, and Varian is more than happy to carry stuff for his (currently) one-armed boyfriend. Fern helped him plenty while he was without his prosthetic in the early days of losing his leg- he can finally repay that.
Varian slides into the seat across from the other boy, putting the drinks on the table, looking around appreciatively. ]
Yeah, we should. I kinda like it. It's got a...rustic feel. Now! You can try a beer with...you know, actual taste buds.
[They've got a good system here, and Fern is quietly glad that he doesn't need to ask for help when he'd definitely need it. Managing his sword is more than enough, given the demon blood sword is meant to be wielded with two hands.
At any rate, he immediately takes up his flagon of beer, holding it up for cheers.]
Right?? Here's to having actual taste buds!
[He'll clink his glass against Varian before downing a few big gulps.]
[It's a great system, and Varian's glad for it. He grins, clinking his flagon against Fern's.]
Prost!
[Sorry, Fern, he's always going to toast the Proper German Way. He takes a more leisurely sip of his beer- he figures if Fern ends up overdoing it, at least he'd be sober enough to help his boyfriend home afterwards. ]
[He's too excited to toast in the Proper German Way, though he makes a mental note to do it next time. Or at least try to - with the way he's downing his beer getting tipsy is going to be a given. Sorry boyfriendo, he isn't used to having to worry about getting drunk.]
It tastes the same, but it's better somehow? Like I'm drinking the real deal with real guts instead of just magic. [He looks down at his beer, swirling his mug.] I dunno, does that sound weird?
[Varian will forgive him, he's got a lot going on right now. And wow, look at him down that beer, Varian makes a mental note that keeping slow and steady is the way to go here. Designated non-drunk teen today. ]
It doesn't sound weird at all. It's gonna feel differently now you have an actual proper digestive system to deal with. Or at least...uh a mammalian one. [He's so helpful.] We'll have to try and get you some food to try, too. Give you the full experience.
[Fern grins a little at Varian's encouragement, feeling less weird about his attempt at describing what drinking the beer is like. He takes another big gulp.]
Yeah!! Anything they got here, I'll try. Then we can head up and see the view.
[Aww, look at him go. Varian's glad he's enjoying himself. ]
Great, I'm sure I can barter some alchemy supplies for you- get a real feast going- and then we can go see what's up top.
[Plus getting food in him the way he's gulping the beer would be...wise. He stands up, patting the table.]
Sit tight, I'm gonna go see what I can get for us.
[And off her goes to the barkeep again. It takes a lot of talking, and a lot of gesturing- and more than a few alchemy bombs are passed across the table- but eventually Varian returns with a triumphant grin.]
Okay, he's gonna bring over a little bit of everything for you to try. Most of it sounded... well, kinda like the suspicious meat you'd find in the Snuggly Duckling before Lance started cooking there, but it should be okay!
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But then Fern latches onto him tightly and that worry is at least eased. It doesn't go completely, and Varian doesn't like that it doesn't at all. He hugs his boyfriend back, all the same, shifting to rest his face as he always does in the crook of Fern's neck. There's no comforting, solid smell of grass here. The thing he's relied upon to be a grounding effect for his own anxiety has been suddenly wrenched away. He squeezes his eyes shut, takes in a steady breath. This isn't about him. If he reminds himself about it enough, he might be able to push his discomfort down deep enough to focus on Fern. Because he's what's important here. ]
I'm not- [He bites back the lie. Even now, he can't lie, they promised each other they'd be honest with each other and he's not going back on a promise. Not ever. His fingers move up to brush through Fern's very human hair. ] I'm just worried about you. I- I understand why you're doing this and... why you feel you need to. I'm just scared of this hurting you more.
[And he's scared about what it means that he's struggling so much with this. Those feelings of self-loathing rising up to claw at this chest. Fern deserves better than this. He swallows thickly, trying to keep a hold of his emotions. ]
Sorry...sorry. I'm trying to be better about this. It's- it's not on you. Just worry about yourself, okay? How you feel is what matters here.
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But I care about how you feel. I don't - I can't just... ignore that. You matter to me too much. [Even if he's doing this for his own identity, that still affects Varian, and everyone else in his life. His friends and family. He doesn't exist in isolation, after all, all those people and relationships are a part of him, too.]
I need to get used to this, but I want you to be comfortable, too. This - this isn't gonna work if you aren't.
[That isn't something that ever hit him as hard as it is right now, but it's becoming abundantly clear to him.]
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I know... I know. It's just-
[He pulls back to put a hand to Fern's cheek- it's fleshy and he can feel the edge of a bone as he brushes a thumb over his boyfriend's cheek. ]
I- I'm sorry. [He apologises again, he feels like he's making things so much worse for Fern because of his own stupid, weird hangups. ] I don't... I don't know why I'm struggling with this so much. I meant it when I said I'd support you with...with this, though. I'll figure it out.
[Even if he has to force himself through it. He needs to be there for Fern- now more than ever. He sucks in a breath, pushing a smile on his face that doesn't quite reach his eyes.]
L-look, you. You only get this for twenty-four hours, right? I... what do you want to do? I definitely owe you a date at this point. Whatever you want to try...now you have this opportunity.
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Not that that's something he's about to dwell on right now. Right now he just desperately wants Varian to be okay. His jawbone feels like it's - in the way, or something. Still too solid, and his heart sinks when he hears that his boyfriend is struggling.
... Maybe he's got the right idea, though. Maybe they just need to get out and do something fun for a little while. Get used to this.]
Oh - uh, yeah. Sure. I've been wanting to check out the Watchtower, out in Crenshaw? That might be fun?
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He manages another smile, this one a little more natural- much more real. His hand moves down to find Fern's, taking it and squeezing it gently.]
Okay, sounds great. I want to check that out too- I hear the structure of the hoops in it are pretty neat to see.
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Cool. Let's go, then.
[Fern turns to head out of the lab and up to the main floor of the house. He isn't going to bother with shoes, because even with normal human feet that isn't occurring to him. He does, however, pause and decide to run up to their room to grab the family demon blood sword, just in case. He isn't totally sure he can still make grass swords, so this seems like a safe bet.
It won't even take them that long to get to the Watchtower, since it's connected via the lamp network. All they have to do it hope out to the front yard and then boom! They're arriving within a few seconds. With the gloomy weather the place looks ominous, which makes Fern more excited to check it out.]
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Varian does notice the lack of shoes- but he knows better than to tell him to put any on. Between how Fern is normally, Luca and Rapunzel back home, footwear is always optional for his loved ones as far as he's concerned. He is kinda glad for the sword, though. He hopes they won't need it, but you can never be too careful.
The lamps are very convenient and a proper grin starts to cross Varian's face as they arrive. The place really does look very cool. He turns his hand a little in Fern's, so their fingers can lace together and it's close enough to normal that he can push everything else to the back of his mind for now. ]
Okay, we made it. What do you wanna do first? Climb up to the top? Check out what's inside? Your choice!
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He's happy to keep his hold on Varian's hand as they travel to the windmill, his sword shoved safely through his backpack so it's out of the way. When they arrive he looks around, taking in the area. It isn't all that far away from the farms, but he's never actually seen the place in person before. It's appropriately creepy, and he lets out an impressed whistle.]
Let's go inside and check it out, and make our way to the top. [Not having stretchy limbs means they need to climb up there the old-fashioned way.] I bet the view up there is great.
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You could probably see the whole city from up there. [His smile grows a little.] Hey, they have food here, right? Probably something to drink too? You can try whatever you like and not have to worry about it as much as you normally would.
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It's probably too much to hope for that they'll have hamburgers. [But he's grinning all the same, the best thing about being human is not having to rely on photosynthesis.] Maybe they got coffee. Or beer!
[He's very curious to drink some beer and not worry about it being toxic, so he eagerly heads inside, tugging Varian along. The interior is dark but cozy, and there are a couple of other Hunters resting quietly. Fern looks around excitedly, still not letting go of his boyfriend's hand.]
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You never know, we might luck out.
[It's nice to see the grin, though, and it's easing some of Varian's nervousness too. Now he's over the initial shock, he can see Fern shining through. This may not be the form he's used to, but it's still absolutely the boy he knows and loves inhabiting it.
He lets himself be tugged along, and admittedly, he likes the interior of this place, his smile brightening a little in the gloom.]
Oh wow, it's kinda like the Snuggly Duckling! It's got that "hey, I might get stabbed here at any moment!" vibe. [Because obviously, that's what you want in a drinking establishment. He smiles, heading towards the bar.] Well, if nothing else, I bet we can get you a beer here to try.
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It's a bit easier for Fern to let the Watchtower distract him. It's run down, reminding him a little of Ooo. Varian has it summed up pretty well - cozy, in a way that makes you a little scared you might get stabbed. He laughs, happy to start with beers.]
Great! Don't worry, I got this!
[He grins as they approach the bar, briefly letting go of Varian's hand so he can hop onto a stool, spinning around before slamming his fist on the counter. And in his best attempt at a tough, growly voice (more ridiculous than anything), he says:]
Two beers.
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Varian watches as Fern...definitely does not got this, wincing at the tone of voice that would have absolutely gotten him laughed out of the Snuggly Duckling. The person tending the bar looks Fern up and down, before leaning on it heavily, gruffly retorting. What do you have to trade?
Varian, who definitely doesn't want to swoop in and ruin Fern's show of how much he's got this clears his throat, edging a little closer. ]
I think he wants to trade?
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Uh. Right.
[He awkwardly shuffles his backpack off, careful to not let his sword clatter to the ground. It's a bit of a struggle, honestly, what with only having one hand, but he manages it, and digs around in it trying to find something he can trade. The bartender doesn't look especially impressed by this display. So much for being cool and tough.]
I... got some rocks?
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The barkeep doesn't look impressed with the rocks, not the whole struggle Fern is having to get the rocks. He doesn't really want to lessen Fern's...whatever this is turning into, so he's just gonna double down.]
Oh wow! Those are the BEST rocks you've got too! Definitely worth at least two beers, right?
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He decides to double down. Grabbing a handful of shiny rocks, along with a few random flowers that had been growing in his backpack, Fern slams them all on the bar.]
Yeah! I went through so many giant crabs to get these rocks, and you're not gonna find flowers like these growing anywhere in the city at this time of the year!
[It isn't great but it's something. The barkeep rolls his eyes at the display, but will reluctantly scoop everything up and go to pour them two beers.]
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A pleasure doing business with you, good sir!
[He takes a step back, towards one of the tables that's out of the way and NOT in everyone's direct line of vision.]
C'mon, I think there's some good seats over there.
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Sure, dude.
[He'll head over to the table, taking a seat. With that nonsense all solved the other Hunters go back to whatever they were doing, though a few of them look amused. Fern doesn't really notice, he's too distracted by the fact that that worked and they now have beers to drink.]
This place is so cool, we gotta come back sometime.
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Varian slides into the seat across from the other boy, putting the drinks on the table, looking around appreciatively. ]
Yeah, we should. I kinda like it. It's got a...rustic feel. Now! You can try a beer with...you know, actual taste buds.
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At any rate, he immediately takes up his flagon of beer, holding it up for cheers.]
Right?? Here's to having actual taste buds!
[He'll clink his glass against Varian before downing a few big gulps.]
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Prost!
[Sorry, Fern, he's always going to toast the Proper German Way. He takes a more leisurely sip of his beer- he figures if Fern ends up overdoing it, at least he'd be sober enough to help his boyfriend home afterwards. ]
So. How do you like it?
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It tastes the same, but it's better somehow? Like I'm drinking the real deal with real guts instead of just magic. [He looks down at his beer, swirling his mug.] I dunno, does that sound weird?
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It doesn't sound weird at all. It's gonna feel differently now you have an actual proper digestive system to deal with. Or at least...uh a mammalian one. [He's so helpful.] We'll have to try and get you some food to try, too. Give you the full experience.
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Yeah!! Anything they got here, I'll try. Then we can head up and see the view.
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Great, I'm sure I can barter some alchemy supplies for you- get a real feast going- and then we can go see what's up top.
[Plus getting food in him the way he's gulping the beer would be...wise. He stands up, patting the table.]
Sit tight, I'm gonna go see what I can get for us.
[And off her goes to the barkeep again. It takes a lot of talking, and a lot of gesturing- and more than a few alchemy bombs are passed across the table- but eventually Varian returns with a triumphant grin.]
Okay, he's gonna bring over a little bit of everything for you to try. Most of it sounded... well, kinda like the suspicious meat you'd find in the Snuggly Duckling before Lance started cooking there, but it should be okay!
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