Deerlybeloved

[droptheious]

● ○ ○ ○

○ ● ○ ○

○ ○ ● ○

○ ○ ○ ●

Deerlybeloved: Trienemybest
Varian / 17 / M / Bi

Who couldn't love a tiny feral alchemist with a dark past? Sure, he's a little rough around the edges, but he will think you shine like a carbon allotrope. He will stick to you like cyanoacrylate and you'll feel the electricity flowing between you like a galvanic cell. Be the acid to his litmus paper and turn him bright red when he finds you more attractive than francium. He must be made of copper and tellurium because he's a CuTe.

<span style="font-family:century gothic,helvetica,arial,sans-serif;"><img src="https://i.imgur.com/ScI5Hsw.png" style="height:20px;margin:0 5px -4px 0;"><b style="color:#05BB95;">username</b> matched with you!</span> MATCH

<lj-raw><span style="font-family:century gothic,helvetica,arial,sans-serif;"><img src="https://i.imgur.com/P3gZl1b.png" style="height:20px;margin:0 5px -4px 0;"> <b style="color:#05BB95;">username</b> sent you a message! <blockquote style="border-left:5px solid #ddd;padding:0 0 0 10px;"> Message_content </blockquote></span></lj-raw> MESSAGE

<span style="font-family:century gothic,helvetica,arial,sans-serif;"><img src="https://i.imgur.com/w2B4FYG.png" style="height:20px;margin:0 5px -4px 0;"><b style="color:#05BB95;">username</b> sent you a flirt!</span> FLIRT

CODE BY

Comments

Text UN: Silvereyes69

[littlelikeroses]

[Look this is the closet thing Ruby can find to a game on the fluid so of course she's playing the heck out of it.]

hello? what's your high score on this. i bet i'm beating it

1/2

[droptheious]

[Varian wasn't even aware of his Deerlybeloved until right this moment. This is clearly the best time to learn about it. He got a notification from Ruby's username and he glanced it over and found... this.

He looks at the page, it should be a blessing he comes from a time before Tinder, but he can pick up what this is about and has no idea where it came from. He looks back to Ruby's comment, notices the little heart and panics.

Not for the first time since meeting her, he flings his fluid across the room with a shriek- as if that will do anything ever. ]

2/2

[droptheious]

[Eventually, he approaches the fluid like it's a bomb and finally reads her message. High score. That's something Max has talked about. With the video games. Is this what's happening? Are you supposed to win at romance in the future? Why did no one advise him of this?]

I don't have a score at this! I have a negative-zero score at this. Oh my god, how did you even find this? Do we all have one?

[littlelikeroses]

Really? did you just start playing too? i can teach you how to play if you want

i dunno i was just looking for games and this was the only one i could find i think you win by putting the most hearts on people you're the first person to send me a message

i think its because i got a higher score then you

[droptheious]

[What the holy fuck is going on.]

I'm not playing anything! I'm out of the game! No game for me!!

Wait.

I'm so confused. This looks like some lonely heart column? Is that what this is? Or is it a game? Because there don't seem to be any rules.

[littlelikeroses]

oh come on! i'm bored! you're the only one who's responded on this game! don't be a big jerk. you got flowers in your picture and a friendly smile! you should want to play all the games!

yeah! the hearts are lonely so you gotta give 'em to all the friendly people. that's how you win.

[droptheious]

[Well, at least thanks to his panicked message to Fern, he knows this isn't Graden Variety Ruby. He just needs to treat this like if he was talking to the girls. Except... the girls would never do anything like this.

Catalina maybe, actually.]

Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I won't be a big jerk. I honestly don't know where that picture came from. It was a while ago.

[Back before he went off on a crazy murder tangent and messed up his life forever. There's a reason he's smiling.]

Fine, I'll give you a little heart.



There. Now you can win the game, because you got one more than me.

[God, he hopes she doesn't find this later. ]

text; un: fern | later in October don't u judge me

[laminae]

a dark past huh
is that real or is the Fluid just messing with you

also what's a carbon allotrope?

u monster

[droptheious]

[Wow. There's not a single thing about this that he doesn't hate a whole lot. Varian just kind of stares at the screen- trying to decide how to reply. The remainder of the carbon allotrope wedges something sharp and painful in his heart.

He hates this a lot. ]

It's real.

[He isn't about to start lying to Fern now- he doesn't know when (or if) Fern will get his memory back, but he's not going to cover things up if he can help it.

...Well. Most things.]

It's a diamond.

[laminae]

[Fern is entirely clueless about this. He hasn't looked at his own dating profile, why would he look at that awful thing? So he hasn't realized they've had this conversation before.]

dang
what did you do?
uh if that's too personal you don't have to answer

huh ok that makes sense
that wouldn't have been my first guess though

[droptheious]

[This is such a vital part of his relationship with Fern- their mutual monsterhoods. It's what brought them together in the first place and it feels like a large chunk of their foundation is being attacked with a sledgehammer. ]

It's a really long story. We can talk about it if you want to.

Hah. Yeah. I guess not. It's probably not all that obvious.

[His heart hurts. ]

[laminae]

sure yeah
not like i've been all that good either so you definitely don't gotta worry about getting judged

[This is flying so far over Fern's head that it's clearing the creepy moon eyes, honestly.]

it really isn't
it's super nerdy

[droptheious]

Yeah. I guess so. I know you wouldn't judge me.

[He knows this because he's lived through it. Fern can't hear it, but he lets out a soft noise that's almost a laugh but way, way too sad to be one.]

That's me. Super nerdy all the time.

text; un: fern

[laminae]

dude your profile changed
it's even more confusing now

text: un: trienemybest

[droptheious]

Oh wow.

There are so many more science puns now. So many. And more pictures? Where is she getting the pictures from?

[laminae]

i have no idea
mine's got new pictures too
yours are a lot nicer

are those seriously science puns and not just a bunch of random letters smashes together?

[droptheious]

Really? Let me go see.

[Well, that was a disaster. He's just gonna... breeze past that.]

They are all definitely science puns, yes. Mostly chemisty ones.

[laminae]

[Good job, Varian.]

dog they look fake
can you explain all of them?

[droptheious]

[He's a pro.]

They're not fake, they're real things. I told you about the carbon allotrope twice now. I'm not doing that one again. But sure, okay, science lesson with Varian on his awful, awful dating profile, why not. I'm gonna use small words:

- Cyanoacrylate - It's glue. It's literally glue.
- Galvanic cell - It's a cell that can generate electricity. Kind of. It's complicated and it involves even more complicated processes and bigger words. I think she means there will be sparks.

God I hate this.

- Litmus paper turns red when it's dipped in acid.
- Francium is an element that attracts a lot of electrons. It's actually super dangerous but I think she means the other kind of attractive.
- The periodic symbol for Copper is Cu the symbol for Tellurium is Te. Put them together and you get CuTe. Like "cutie" har har har.

Thus concludes the most awkward science lesson ever.

[laminae]

TheGreenKnight sent you a flirt!

i think we just shared electrons, because i'm feeling a covalent bond between us

[droptheious]

[Oh, well THIS is a nice surprise! And it's a SCIENCE flirt, too!! Is he perhaps a touch nervous if this is a trap or a genuine flirt? Perhaps. But that is the gauntlet they chose to run together with this app, and that's just how it is. ]

Wow that was scientifically accurate and everything. I'm feeling very wooed right now.

[laminae]

it was? you like it?
great! because i have no idea what i just typed

[He's just thrilled it made sense, okay.]

[droptheious]

I like it a lot! Very good science flirt.

[...Wait. What.]

Fern? How did you know what to write if you didn't know what it was you're saying? That's a super specific thing right there.

I'm confused.

[Maybe it IS a trap? ]

[laminae]

well i was out over at the library
what's left of the library
and i found this book of pick up lines?
which i know i know Jake always said to never follow a book's advice when it comes to relationships cause they'll mess up your brains
but this one seems pretty harmless

[droptheious]

[Oh, okay. It's not a trap. His boyfriend is just a precious himbo, that's normal.]

I was not aware such books existed, but my brain feels fine currently? I'll let you know if anything changes on that front.

Um. Thanks for taking the time to look for a very good science flirt. Even if you don't know what it means.

Man, what would you have done it if actually meant something deeply insulting?