Deerlybeloved

[droptheious]

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Deerlybeloved: Trienemybest
Varian / 17 / M / Bi

Who couldn't love a tiny feral alchemist with a dark past? Sure, he's a little rough around the edges, but he will think you shine like a carbon allotrope. He will stick to you like cyanoacrylate and you'll feel the electricity flowing between you like a galvanic cell. Be the acid to his litmus paper and turn him bright red when he finds you more attractive than francium. He must be made of copper and tellurium because he's a CuTe.

<span style="font-family:century gothic,helvetica,arial,sans-serif;"><img src="https://i.imgur.com/ScI5Hsw.png" style="height:20px;margin:0 5px -4px 0;"><b style="color:#05BB95;">username</b> matched with you!</span> MATCH

<lj-raw><span style="font-family:century gothic,helvetica,arial,sans-serif;"><img src="https://i.imgur.com/P3gZl1b.png" style="height:20px;margin:0 5px -4px 0;"> <b style="color:#05BB95;">username</b> sent you a message! <blockquote style="border-left:5px solid #ddd;padding:0 0 0 10px;"> Message_content </blockquote></span></lj-raw> MESSAGE

<span style="font-family:century gothic,helvetica,arial,sans-serif;"><img src="https://i.imgur.com/w2B4FYG.png" style="height:20px;margin:0 5px -4px 0;"><b style="color:#05BB95;">username</b> sent you a flirt!</span> FLIRT

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Comments

Text UN: Silvereyes69

[littlelikeroses]

[Look this is the closet thing Ruby can find to a game on the fluid so of course she's playing the heck out of it.]

hello? what's your high score on this. i bet i'm beating it

1/2

[droptheious]

[Varian wasn't even aware of his Deerlybeloved until right this moment. This is clearly the best time to learn about it. He got a notification from Ruby's username and he glanced it over and found... this.

He looks at the page, it should be a blessing he comes from a time before Tinder, but he can pick up what this is about and has no idea where it came from. He looks back to Ruby's comment, notices the little heart and panics.

Not for the first time since meeting her, he flings his fluid across the room with a shriek- as if that will do anything ever. ]

2/2

[droptheious]

[Eventually, he approaches the fluid like it's a bomb and finally reads her message. High score. That's something Max has talked about. With the video games. Is this what's happening? Are you supposed to win at romance in the future? Why did no one advise him of this?]

I don't have a score at this! I have a negative-zero score at this. Oh my god, how did you even find this? Do we all have one?

[littlelikeroses]

Really? did you just start playing too? i can teach you how to play if you want

i dunno i was just looking for games and this was the only one i could find i think you win by putting the most hearts on people you're the first person to send me a message

i think its because i got a higher score then you

[droptheious]

[What the holy fuck is going on.]

I'm not playing anything! I'm out of the game! No game for me!!

Wait.

I'm so confused. This looks like some lonely heart column? Is that what this is? Or is it a game? Because there don't seem to be any rules.

[littlelikeroses]

oh come on! i'm bored! you're the only one who's responded on this game! don't be a big jerk. you got flowers in your picture and a friendly smile! you should want to play all the games!

yeah! the hearts are lonely so you gotta give 'em to all the friendly people. that's how you win.

[droptheious]

[Well, at least thanks to his panicked message to Fern, he knows this isn't Graden Variety Ruby. He just needs to treat this like if he was talking to the girls. Except... the girls would never do anything like this.

Catalina maybe, actually.]

Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I won't be a big jerk. I honestly don't know where that picture came from. It was a while ago.

[Back before he went off on a crazy murder tangent and messed up his life forever. There's a reason he's smiling.]

Fine, I'll give you a little heart.



There. Now you can win the game, because you got one more than me.

[God, he hopes she doesn't find this later. ]

[littlelikeroses]

yaaaaaaay! you're the best mr.trienemybest

that's okay. mine has two weirdos in it and i dunno how to change it. the flowers are pretty in yours

yusss! i did it! now i get a cookie to celebrate

do you know if there are any other games we can play? i bet i can beat you at those too

[droptheious]

Don't mention it. It's Varian, by the way. And thanks. They were pretty.

[Curiosity wins out and he'll go... check it out and OH. Well. That's terrifying. Note to self: never cross Ruby's sister ever. Or even let her know you exist, preferably. ]

A cookie huh? That's your prize?

I'm not really good at games. I don't think there's any OTHER ones on here anyway. Do you know any?

[littlelikeroses]

but i already did mention it didnt you read it?

varian trienemybest got it. im ruby

yep its the best prize i could ask for. i had a whole bunch in a basket. i could share if you want?

well i know tic tac toe and hide and go seek the raccoons and tag. im really good at tag though just a warning.

[droptheious]

No, that's a figure of speech. And it's just Varian. Trienemybest is just my username. Nice to meet you Ruby.

[This is so weird. He thought he'd avoid this kind of magical weirdness being away from home, clearly not. ]

That's nice of you, thanks. I'm not good at tag at all, but I'm pretty good at tic tac toe.

Do you like raccoons? I've got a pet one.

[Sorry, Ruddiger, he loves you but he's throwing you under the bus on this one.]

[littlelikeroses]

oh whats a figure of speech? nice to meet you too Varian

well we should play that then

you gotta pet coon!? thats so cool

we have a few that hang around in our attic but dad wont let us keep 'em as pets

me and yang still play with em all the time though

whats your raccoons name?

[droptheious]

It means it's something people just say. Like. "It's raining cats and dogs". It's not literal.

Well, he'll play with you, probably. His name's Ruddiger. He's pretty cool!

[littlelikeroses]

that's weird people should just say what they mean
honesty is the best policy thats what my dad always says
its not what my uncle says though

really!? id love to meet him
ill get him some treats
do you know where the playground is?
you could bring him there and ill be there

[droptheious]

I guess some people just like to look smart. And honesty has it's place. Sometimes it doesn't work out like you want it to.

Oh good. The creepy playground full of ghosts. Sure, yeah. I know it. I can bring him there.

[littlelikeroses]

ohhhhhhh like mr oobleck he likes to look smart
but you gotta try it before you know if itll work or not so might as well just do it

its got spooks!? dont worry uncle qrow will come by and scare them off if they get too close
hes awesome like that

[droptheious]

I don't know who that is.

...

Yeah, sure. But just on the off chance he doesn't? We'll just be on our guard for them, okay? Better safe than sorry.

[littlelikeroses]

hes one of my dads friends
hes silly and a big smarty pants.

yeah sure! your pretty tough right?
im sure well be fine

[droptheious]

As a big smarty pants, I feel I have to stick up for our side here.

Um. I mean, I know how to NOT die? So I guess there's that.

[littlelikeroses]

oh do you have an egg for a head too? dont let it get scrambled

that's kind of the same thing well be fine

[droptheious]

Not a literal egg. It's an expression. It means being smart.

[It means being a NERD and he knows it.]

Well, lucky us. Not dying in the ghost park.

[littlelikeroses]

but thats not as cool as a actual egg

[It's okay. She's going to grow up to be one too.]

i know its going to be the best day ever!!!!

[droptheious]

I don't think you could exist if you had a literal egg for a head. That's... not actually possible.

Oh yeah. Sure. Woo. Can't wait.

[It's going to be the WEIRDEST day ever.]

[littlelikeroses]

just because its not possible doesnt make it any less cool

jeez

me too me too

[droptheious]

That's-

You know what? I'm gonna let that non-logic slide because you're a nice person.

Just this once.