Deerlybeloved

[droptheious]

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Deerlybeloved: Trienemybest
Varian / 17 / M / Bi

Who couldn't love a tiny feral alchemist with a dark past? Sure, he's a little rough around the edges, but he will think you shine like a carbon allotrope. He will stick to you like cyanoacrylate and you'll feel the electricity flowing between you like a galvanic cell. Be the acid to his litmus paper and turn him bright red when he finds you more attractive than francium. He must be made of copper and tellurium because he's a CuTe.

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Comments

[littlelikeroses]

hes one of my dads friends
hes silly and a big smarty pants.

yeah sure! your pretty tough right?
im sure well be fine

[droptheious]

As a big smarty pants, I feel I have to stick up for our side here.

Um. I mean, I know how to NOT die? So I guess there's that.

[littlelikeroses]

oh do you have an egg for a head too? dont let it get scrambled

that's kind of the same thing well be fine

[droptheious]

Not a literal egg. It's an expression. It means being smart.

[It means being a NERD and he knows it.]

Well, lucky us. Not dying in the ghost park.

[littlelikeroses]

but thats not as cool as a actual egg

[It's okay. She's going to grow up to be one too.]

i know its going to be the best day ever!!!!

[droptheious]

I don't think you could exist if you had a literal egg for a head. That's... not actually possible.

Oh yeah. Sure. Woo. Can't wait.

[It's going to be the WEIRDEST day ever.]

[littlelikeroses]

just because its not possible doesnt make it any less cool

jeez

me too me too

[droptheious]

That's-

You know what? I'm gonna let that non-logic slide because you're a nice person.

Just this once.

[littlelikeroses]

yesssss you gave up that means i win

uncle qrow does the same thing all the time too

because im a button

[droptheious]

I guess you do. Dang, guess that makes me the loser

A button, huh?

[littlelikeroses]

yup
you got eggy on your big egg head face
thats a lot of egg

yeah a really shiny and pretty one
like from a brand new special jacket
i guess
he never showed me the actual button

[droptheious]

An excessive amount of egg. Sounds like my life story.

I'm pretty sure it's a term people use when they mean you're cute. You know "cute as a button". I don't think there's a literal button involved.

[littlelikeroses]

you must eat a lot of omelets or eggs benny if thats the case

why are none of these things actual things????
it makes no sense
its no fun when no ones actually a egg head or not really a button

[droptheious]

Again not being literal but sure, why not.

Because people like to live in metaphors I guess. Instead of just saying what they mean. I think Shakespeare has a lot to answer for on that front.

[littlelikeroses]

which do you prefer omelets or benny?

ughhhhhh
that makes everything so confusing
you cant just go and shake a spear at people and force them to talk all confusing
its not nice
its not right
we should go tell him to knock it off

[droptheious]

...Lets go with omelets??

That's not- Shakespeare was a person. A novelist. He didn't... literally shake spears at people.

[littlelikeroses]

but benny's way better!!!!!

oh ooooooooh ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
did he write good books?
i wanna read it sometime
maybe thats how he got people to read his book

[droptheious]

I guess I'll have to take your word on that one.

I guess? They were mostly plays and they're all really famous. I'm pretty sure they were famous just because they were masterpieces. Not because of spears.

[littlelikeroses]

wait have you never had benny???

but spears had a little bit to do with it right??
everythings better with spears

[droptheious]

Probably not???

I think he might of has prop spears in some of his plays. I didn't pay that much attention.

[littlelikeroses]

you gotta fix that
like right away
tomorrow at breakfast

uuuuuuuuughhhhhhhhhhhhh does he have a book??? or a movie of the book?????
i gotta find out if hes got spears

[droptheious]

Okay, okay. Tomrrow at breakfast.

Yes. It has to be a book. Books are cool.

[littlelikeroses]

u promise???

books are the best
yang reads me books every night
and i read em too

[droptheious]

We'll see.

[Because she might be back to normal tomorrow, or he might be changed, or any number of things could have happened. Varian doesn't make promises he knows he can't keep, so bitty Ruby will have to be content with a "we'll see".]

She did? What sort of books did she read you?

[littlelikeroses]

yeah you gonna eat em and be like wowowow these are so much better than omelettes benny is the bestest

all kinds! stories of knights princes and princesses from dragons and all sorts of monsters
big pirate adventures where they get all the booty and see sea monsters and mermaids
heroes doing hero stuff and being amazing
im gonna do all the stuff when i get big too