CONGRATULATIONS YOU ARE THROUGH TO RUDDIGER. PLEASE LEAVE FOOD AT THE END OF THE BEEP. MESSAGES CANNOT BE GUARANTEED DELIVERY IF FOOD IS NOT PROVIDED. [VIDEO | AUDIO | TEXT]
I don't like thinking of it ever getting to that either. But...Usagi, it's been two years and we're still exactly where we were when we first met him. This- this isn't on you or me, or any of us who've tried to help him. What can we do if he just...just keeps refusing to help himself?
[Because every time they think they're getting somewhere, he DOES throw a tantrum and he's so afraid of what that will mean for all of them if it gets out of hand. But especially Usagi. She is the crown champion of This Is Fine and he doesn't want to see her collapse under the weight of it all.
He pulls her into a hug.]
You are strong enough, you're- you're the strongest person I know. But- but being strong doesn't mean you never take breaks ever. You're allowed to look after yourself, too. It doesn't change your strength one little bit.
[She doesn't know how to explain it, that two years of kindness and love would not undo the years of abuse Maul's master had wrought. That he was even here at all was a miracle, in some ways. She wasn't as mad because Maul just didn't know sometimes. He had been a tool before he had been a person, so he had to be made to feel again before he could even be expected to empathize with others.
It did not excuse Maul of any of his actions, merely explained them, and it was why Usagi was so patient. She hugs Varian back and closes her eyes, gently stroking his hair. She knew how worried Varian was for her, and it made her heart sink to know she was causing him this kind of anguish because she couldn't really help who she was and what she was and what she was like.
She was capable of being unforgiving.
She just didn't think Maul deserved that, for all his stupid self-sabotaging tantrums.]
I suppose I am. [She smiled, stroking his back and closing her eyes.] You're right. [She pressed a kiss to his forehead and then moved to press her forehead against his. ] I will try to be better about looking out for myself.
[Varian still wants to believe that Maul is deserving of something better, he can't quite wish him ill, not even now, after everything the man has put him through. But he's hit his limit- the attach on Fern was his absolute last straw. Varian can deal with plenty of abuse levelled at him, but Fern is another story altogether. He can't allow that.
But he knows Usagi won't be swayed- much as he wishes she could be. He exhales, slow and shaky, resting his head against hers.]
[No, she can't be swayed, but that is her decision. She doesn't expect Varian to agree with her or even understand her. She closes her eyes and rests her head against his in return.]
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droptheious) wrote2021-06-20 12:39 am
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cawaii
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[Because every time they think they're getting somewhere, he DOES throw a tantrum and he's so afraid of what that will mean for all of them if it gets out of hand. But especially Usagi. She is the crown champion of This Is Fine and he doesn't want to see her collapse under the weight of it all.
He pulls her into a hug.]
You are strong enough, you're- you're the strongest person I know. But- but being strong doesn't mean you never take breaks ever. You're allowed to look after yourself, too. It doesn't change your strength one little bit.
no subject
It did not excuse Maul of any of his actions, merely explained them, and it was why Usagi was so patient. She hugs Varian back and closes her eyes, gently stroking his hair. She knew how worried Varian was for her, and it made her heart sink to know she was causing him this kind of anguish because she couldn't really help who she was and what she was and what she was like.
She was capable of being unforgiving.
She just didn't think Maul deserved that, for all his stupid self-sabotaging tantrums.]
I suppose I am. [She smiled, stroking his back and closing her eyes.] You're right. [She pressed a kiss to his forehead and then moved to press her forehead against his. ] I will try to be better about looking out for myself.
And thank you, for reminding me I can.
no subject
But he knows Usagi won't be swayed- much as he wishes she could be. He exhales, slow and shaky, resting his head against hers.]
Anytime. Least I could do.
no subject
I love you, Varian.
no subject
I love you too, Usagi.