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[The hilarious part is just how much Varian would be first in line to sing either girl's praises. She lifts a brow.]
Look, I may be bad at math, but I'm not bad at you. I know you pretty well, mister.
Ah... that... hmmm... I wonder... [She trails off. No, no point in wondering if they can sense something about her. It was probably like her current situation with the Moon Presence and this moon where they had no connection.]
[Things are so complicated right now, he needs some breathing space from tooting horns.]
...Yeah I guess you do.
[He snorts.]
You two definitely interact. I'm not sure what I'd call it otherwise, but it's definitely interacting. If he wasn't very loudly and obnoxiously dating Reaper I'd honestly wonder if he has a thing for you.
Not that he ever would, but even if he did, I wouldn't date a guy who I have to remind time and again that other people have feelings and maybe he should consider them, or that the instant answer to everything shouldn't be murder and maiming.
No, it isn't. Not that Maul is a bad- [She pauses, changes how she wants to phrase it.] not that Maul wouldn't be a very doting mate. It's my understanding he's very caring to Reaper. [It's one of the many things they've talked about to help him relate to other people outside of her, Varian, Savage, Fern, and well, Reaper.] But we're... maybe a bit too opposite on how we view the populace.
And... I'm pretty used to having... well in any case, there's no one interested in me anyway. Which is fine.
[At his question, she rested her chin in her palm.]
I mean, I... dunno. It would be nice to have someone see me that way. I still have... [She still has needs.] I mean, I still... love Mamoru, he's still my soulmate. And I don't know that if someone was interested in me, I could care for them the SAME way I care about him. It wouldn't be fair to do that, and then I know I'd feel guilty for comparing, I'd feel guilty for BEING in the relationship, for being unfaithful to Mamoru and unfaithful to whomever I was with. Everything.
[Varian considers this for a moment, humming softly. If Fern went home tomorrow and he remained here, would he be able to move on? He's...not sure. He doubts it. ]
That's...fair. I mean- you know you still have us, right? I know it's not the same but you've got a lot of people who'll always look out for you. You'll never be alone.
[And for once, he doesn't remind her of the importance of making promises to him. She knows that only too well, and he had faith in her to keep that promise.]
I...don't know. I don't even know where to start. Everything I thought might work on Cass I'd tried back home already. She didn't want to listen to me.
Maybe then... she needs to talk to someone who isn't from home. Think about all you've shared with me and Fern, people who have no connection to Corona. Think of how that may help.
Maybe Cass needs to talk to someone that has no history with her, who is a blank slate.
[He mulls that over, and the idea certainly has merit. He's worked through so much in his time here, thanks to having an outside perspective. Having people who haven't lived through what he has, who don't know the same people. ]
You know...that might actually work. She'd...she'd be a tough nut to crack. But maybe having someone who hasn't been part of...all that might make it easier for her to open up. Eventually.
Hey, just remember, she comes out of this, and this time? No big nasty demon to take care of on top of it and the three of you don't have to do this alone.
Oh, definitely. Because, well, she's Cass, right? And before everything with the Moonstone and Zhan Tiri, she still had all those traits you admired. She was someone you considered a friend and looked up to.
Someone doesn't just suddenly LOSE that because of some bad decisions. She's still that person. Just right now? She's... she's in pain.
People always lash out when they're in pain.
Oh, I mean, it WILL, but we'll also be here to make things better, that's what we do.
[That's something he has extensive personal experience in, after all. He sucks in a breath, trying to take comfort in what Usagi is trying to tell him. He knows she's right- that Cass is strong enough to fight this. To find her way out of the darkness again. She did it once. ]
You're...you're right. We'll be there to help, even if she...pushes us away. Not the first time I've had to stubbornly keep fighting for her to get better.
I know. [She would hug him if she could right now. She doesn't go much further than that, she knows how hard it is for him to forgive himself for his past... mostly in that he hasn't.]
I mean, you do stubborn almost as well as I do. [Of course, she has the advantage of turning into a literal god to stay as stubborn as she is.] But this time, you're not fighting alone either, no one is.
Please keep reminding yourself that you DON'T have to do this alone, Varian. Cass will get there. You already know she does. Just remember that. Remember it, and hopefully, start believing it too.
[He appreciates she doesn't press the matter. He knows, just as much as she does, how much he's forgiven himself for his past (he hasn't at all) and how much that worries her. Having a breather is...helpful.]
I know, I know. I don't have to deal with any of this alone, I do get it. And I really do appreciate all the help you guys give me. It's just... a lot. We'll figure something out.
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droptheious) wrote2021-06-20 12:39 am
 "un/finished")
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cawaii
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Look, I may be bad at math, but I'm not bad at you. I know you pretty well, mister.
Ah... that... hmmm... I wonder... [She trails off. No, no point in wondering if they can sense something about her. It was probably like her current situation with the Moon Presence and this moon where they had no connection.]
I mean... Maul and I interact?
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...Yeah I guess you do.
[He snorts.]
You two definitely interact. I'm not sure what I'd call it otherwise, but it's definitely interacting. If he wasn't very loudly and obnoxiously dating Reaper I'd honestly wonder if he has a thing for you.
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And... I'm pretty used to having... well in any case, there's no one interested in me anyway. Which is fine.
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Trust me, we're all very aware about how much he dotes on Reaper. They make that very clear the second aaaaany sort of romantic conversation comes up.
[At least he got better off than Fern in that area.
Still, he cants his head, intrigued. ]
...Would you want anyone? Uh... if they did show interest?
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I mean, I... dunno. It would be nice to have someone see me that way. I still have... [She still has needs.] I mean, I still... love Mamoru, he's still my soulmate. And I don't know that if someone was interested in me, I could care for them the SAME way I care about him. It wouldn't be fair to do that, and then I know I'd feel guilty for comparing, I'd feel guilty for BEING in the relationship, for being unfaithful to Mamoru and unfaithful to whomever I was with. Everything.
It's better to just... not.
I've waited thousands of years before, Varian.
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That's...fair. I mean- you know you still have us, right? I know it's not the same but you've got a lot of people who'll always look out for you. You'll never be alone.
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[It is literally one of her DEEPEST fears.]
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[And she knows, she knows, he doesn't make those easily. ]
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But! [She takes a deep breath.] Somehow we've gotten off track! [And she hates being the center of a conversation like that.]
Cass, Rapunzel.
You're a "plan" sorta guy, so let's make one. What can we do to help you and them? Even if it's just small things.
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I...don't know. I don't even know where to start. Everything I thought might work on Cass I'd tried back home already. She didn't want to listen to me.
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Maybe Cass needs to talk to someone that has no history with her, who is a blank slate.
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You know...that might actually work. She'd...she'd be a tough nut to crack. But maybe having someone who hasn't been part of...all that might make it easier for her to open up. Eventually.
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It'll be okay, Vivi. Just take a deep breath.
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[Even if he doesn't know how to help that along.]
I just hope this world doesn't make it worse, like it does.
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Someone doesn't just suddenly LOSE that because of some bad decisions. She's still that person. Just right now? She's... she's in pain.
People always lash out when they're in pain.
Oh, I mean, it WILL, but we'll also be here to make things better, that's what we do.
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[That's something he has extensive personal experience in, after all. He sucks in a breath, trying to take comfort in what Usagi is trying to tell him. He knows she's right- that Cass is strong enough to fight this. To find her way out of the darkness again. She did it once. ]
You're...you're right. We'll be there to help, even if she...pushes us away. Not the first time I've had to stubbornly keep fighting for her to get better.
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I mean, you do stubborn almost as well as I do. [Of course, she has the advantage of turning into a literal god to stay as stubborn as she is.] But this time, you're not fighting alone either, no one is.
Please keep reminding yourself that you DON'T have to do this alone, Varian. Cass will get there. You already know she does. Just remember that. Remember it, and hopefully, start believing it too.
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I know, I know. I don't have to deal with any of this alone, I do get it. And I really do appreciate all the help you guys give me. It's just... a lot. We'll figure something out.
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