Deer Country inbox

[droptheious]

CONGRATULATIONS YOU ARE THROUGH TO RUDDIGER. PLEASE LEAVE FOOD AT THE END OF THE BEEP. MESSAGES CANNOT BE GUARANTEED DELIVERY IF FOOD IS NOT PROVIDED.
[VIDEO | AUDIO | TEXT]

FROM: SUBJECT: FERN Follow me SHIRO Varian -Have you heard of 'Mother Mercy'? We might have a problem. PAIMON fern's mate ,. are you conscious. ? ZIB hey you know how you suddenly grew horns and a tail... FERN V? USAGI Hey, Vivi. Are you... how are holding up after... everything? MELIUS Ahraan! Faaz! Hi kos fahdon! RAPUNZEL Hey, Varian? You in there? SASUKE You're Melius' friend Varian, yes? MAKO Hey. It's Mako. You been out to the sea ice yet? AHIRU Heyyyy Varian USAGI So, Rapunzel and Cass are here. PETER Hey, uh, Varian! LUZ Varian. I'm messaging you about this since... STAN LOOK I DON'T LIKE YOU BUT WE ARE BEING SLANDERED RIGHT NOW FERN hey, so i made this bet with Stan about you and him FORD Varian, have you been contacted by someone asking about the portals we built? FERN Uh, hey. ZIB Hi Varian, this is Dib. I need advice on something... USAGI VARIAN! WANNA MEET MY OMEN! MAUL Are you still having trouble sleeping? FERN are you made of copper and tellurium?

TO: SUBJECT: DIPPER It's pointless asking if you're okay but... ANGE Hey, Ange. Just checking in on you. RAPUNZEL So. Hey. I learned a fun thing about... ADAM Shiro's a teenager now and he's being an idiot. KORRA So hey. Do you remember me joking that... MAUL My corruption came back PETER HEY. Hey Peter! I found a meme!!! PETER Happy birthday! It's not a lot but... USAGI So. Fern being human sure was a thing that happened. FERN A list of Coronan/German words... JOHN No one has ever been inside an empty room. MAUL You never stop clapping. ANGE You can only buy used mirrors. K If a spoon was made of gold... LANCE If you rip a hole in a net... MELIUS The word swims upside down is also swims. ORPHEUS Every time you clean something... PETER Is the letter S or C silent in the word 'scent'? EDDIE Turtles can never have sleepovers because... WU If you run in a straight line for long enough... MAKO It's impossible to touch any reflection that isn't your own. OSCAR While we sleep our brains make stories that scare us RYAN Beef jerky is just a cow raisin USAGI You know how people think snowflakes are... DIPPER Do twins ever realise that one of them was unplanned? BELLA History classes are only... SHIRO Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed FERN Did you know you did an Arthurian Legend?

code by cawaii

Comments

[droptheious]

[There's still a lot of chittering somewhere off-screen. Varian sighs, translating.]

He says he can't be won over that easily, he's not me- HEY! [He looks over his shoulder.] I am not won over that easily!

[lightthedarkness]

Oh, I guess I'll have to find someone else to eat these snacks, hmm? Tooooo bad, I bought them especially for a certain raccoon since his alchemist told me they're his favorite.

Buuuuut if he's not interested, I'm sure I can find some woodland creature or something to give it to.

Maul's pets, maybe!

[droptheious]

[Varian glances at the screen, then back at the back of the lab. Then, slowly, a little paw comes and shoves his face out of the screen- so Ruddiger can peer sloooooowly at the screen. He squints at her, before chittering again.]

He says he wants to see the snacks. He thinks you're bluffing.

[lightthedarkness]

[She holds up an entire bag of, bright, shiny apples.]

Like I said, I'm sure I can find someone else to feed these to. Maybe a horse!

[droptheious]

[And lo, Usagi not only showed the BEST of snacks but also mentioned giving it to a horse- objectively the worst of animals, in Ruddiger's opinion. He points at the apples, chittering louder. Varian exhales heavily, slouching into his seat.]

...He says don't you dare give them to a horse, it would be a waste of good apples.

[lightthedarkness]

Saaaa but then who could I possibly give them to~ Margays don't eat apples, after all, and my favorite raccoon doesn't want them. I just don't know what to do~

[droptheious]

[The Omni is wrenched up by little raccoon hands, he starts chittering urgently, before hucking the stone at Varian. The teen catches it with a soft 'oof' his eyes following something moving offscreen. ]

He says he wants them and he's coming for them. Uh- good luck with that.

[lightthedarkness]

I think I can handle it.