Varian (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
droptheious) wrote2020-03-15 10:36 pm
droptheious) wrote2020-03-15 10:36 pm
Staggr
STAGGR
ABOUT ME
Varian
In a relationship with Fern Mertens
Come back to this me
FULL NAME
17
AGE
April 18th
BIRTHDAY
He/him
PRONOUNS
In a relationship with Fern Mertens
RELATIONSHIP STATUS
Not answering weird questions about dating someone made of grass
INTERESTED IN
#25 Raccoon Alley
ADDRESS
High School Student + Petrova Apothercary
OCCUPATION
Come back to this me
FAVORITE QUOTE
Rapunzel, Taylor Swift (thanks Eddie)
FAVORITE MUSICIANS
The Flynnegan Rider series, duh
FAVORITE BOOKS
TAKE ME TO THE MOVIES, FERN.
FAVORITE MOVIES/TV SHOWS
EXPERIENCE
Self-taught
Like do you people not understand how the 1820s work for not-rich people at all?
See above
Royal Engineer of the Kingdom of Corona
German
Several ancient criptic dead languages
Also Latin
Alchemy
Engineering
Piano
Like do you people not understand how the 1820s work for not-rich people at all?
EDUCATION
See above
TRAINING
Royal Engineer of the Kingdom of Corona
PAST JOB EXPERIENCE
German
Several ancient criptic dead languages
Also Latin
LANGUAGES
Alchemy
Engineering
Piano
ADDITIONAL TALENTS
CONTACT ME
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I'd think being in a hellscape nightmare dimension wouldn't give anyone the time for dating at all, honestly. But I guess people will pair bond in just about any situation.
[This is why you have never had a date, Varian. Exactly this reason.]
Oh yeah. Piano, guitar... probably about a hundred other things. She was locked in a tower for eighteen years so she had a LOT of spare time for that kinda thing.
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and i'm guessing you know what a play is because if you don't i think that's a huge problem
but recorded. like our phones? and better, with special effects and junk
['Pair bonding', he's pretty sure he's heard Princess Bubblegum use that term before, and it wasn't in reference to dating.]
uh yeah people date here
really not sure if it's a good idea
some guy i know was on the network talking about how all of our feelings are fake here because everything is horrible all the time
[He had a very enlightening conversation with Ben about Stockholm Syndrome and trauma, fun.]
wow that
that sucks a lot for her
[For a second he has a strong feeling of having been in a similar situation... but that gets shoved out of his mind very abruptly.]
did you guys ever have jam sessions?
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[It definitely was not. Varian should not be allowed to talk about this. There should be a ban.]
I wouldn't say everything is horrible. I mean, there are good people here and that makes a difference? But what point is there in dating in a place where everyone's gonna forget everything anyway?
Yeah. Not a great time. But she's still the most chipper person in existence, so there's that. And... I have no idea what that means. Is that something to do with music or the actual condiment?
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i don't know, i guess people are desperate
[He's one to talk.]
what? no i mean likewhat friends dogetting together and making music for fun
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[Most people go to the movies to enjoy the movie, Varian.]
Guess they are.
OH. OH. Yeah, we do that! I mean, we've been kinda busy with the whole Fate of the Kingdom stuff, but when we have time to breathe to totally do that.
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you'd probably have to break in
i think that is a legit reason to not have time for jam sessions
i remember back when i was Finn PB was usually too busy with running her kingdom to join
less Fate of the Kingdom, more Keeping the Kingdom in Line
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Oh man. At least Corona is usually pretty good at keeping itself in line. Most of the subjects just happily live their lives. There's sometimes a spike in the crime rate but honestly, most of that is petty thievery. It's only recently that things have gone kinda crazy. And a lot of that is magically-induced.
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[Fern is glad he has a friend who can be just as casually morally questionable as he is.]
sounds nice
the Candy Kingdom can't really run itself
i mean the citizens are literal candy
they require a lot of attention
[Bubblegum is essentially a kingdom-wide babysitter, 24/7.]
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[Who needs squeaky clean morals? Not them!]
Literally candy, huh? They don't try to like... lick each other, do they? Is that cannibalism? It's probably cannibalism. They probably don't do that. Forget I said anything.
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[Fern... no.]
ok yeah no eating candy that isn't alive is totally cool, but that's cannibalism for them
which happens sometimes
um
so i know it's bad for humans
[Thanks Will!]
i think it's less bad for candy
or at least more common?
though to be fair i'm not actually sure where humans specifically stand on cannibalism aside from 'bad'
growing up everyone thought i
Finn
was the only human left, so i didn't really learn that kind of stuff
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Wait. Wait wait wait. Do people eat the sentient candy? Are you telling me that's a thing that actually happens?
Yeah we consider it pretty bad. Very much frowned upon. Ii mean if there's only one human left, then I guess it's less of a problem. Is Finn the guy who became a sword? Sorry, the sword thing is still really confusing. I should probably try and draw a diagram for it or something.
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if by 'people' you mean other sentient candy, then yeah
sentient stuff eating other sentient stuff in general
i guess it's not a big deal sometimes
i remember sentient sandwiches tasting delicious
ok good to know
yes
Finn was the sword
i used to be him
he's a whole other guy now though
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Right. Right right. So Finn was a sword. And you were ... Finn. And now Finn is a person and you're you. Also there was a grass sword?
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yep
the Grass Sword was also me
this is just the short version, the entire story is really long and i'm not sure it would clear anything up
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It's okay. I'd like to hear it sometime anyway. I can make a timeline. Or something.
[He's dertemined to understand!!!]
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geez no one's ever wanted to make a timeline of my life before
[He isn't sure if he should be flattered or weird out.]
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[Look, he doesn't make the rules in his weird world, okay.]
At this point I honestly think it's necessary.
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ha ha yeah i guess it is, isn't it?
might help me sense of everything, too
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See? It'll help both of us!
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but yeah
that's Ooo too
yeah ok
let's do it!
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There you go!
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[....
Actually, let's not.]
anyway what was your life like before Rapunzel and all the crazy?
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[Sarcasm doesn't translate to text so well, but darn it he's trying anyway. ]
Pretty average. I mean, I still did the alchemy thing, but Dad was really awkward about it. I blew up a lot of stuff. More than I do now. I think he just wanted me to be a normal kid and I kept being really bad at that.
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that's good at least
[Talking about being trapped in a tiny space, cut off from the rest of the world, is making him severely uncomfortable. It's too similar to his experience as Finn Sword.]
geez
i get that
dads are complicated
same with being a normal kid
no subject
Dads are really complicated. We're better now? I guess? He's always been really unhappy about my line of work, I guess it makes him really uneasy for some reason. It took a long time for us to really see eye to eye.
[Also it took Quirin being effectively dead for a year. That too.]
no subject
don't know why he'd be unhappy about science but hey, i don't know him
i do know what it's like not seeing eye to eye though
my human dad and i don't get along
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[When he was younger meaning "a single year ago".]
I don't know. He never really talks to me about it. He's not good at talking. I'm sorry about you and your human dad. I guess dads are just regularly really difficult. Might be a dad thing.
no subject
[That, of course, is not actually directed at the obvious what-worthy statement there, Varian blowing up his village several times.]
YOUR DAD WAS A KNIGHT
I'M A KNIGHT
man how do you go from being a knight to a farmer?
i mean that's a rhetorical question, it sounds like he probably wouldn't talk to you about it huh
my adoptive dad was pretty great but i think there was a lot he and mom did that they never talked about too
my human dad never told me anything worthwhile, not even important stuff
so i think you might be right
no subject
[And instead he got to be a single dad to Varian and never got a quiet anything. Except for when he was stuck in the amber of a year. He had a quiet time then. ]
Yeah no. He kept it from me. I only found out after we got him out of the amber. And at that point, everyone knew so it was kind of moot. Guess they just have secrets they want to protect us from. It's pretty stupid though. Makes more of a mess than anything else.
[If his dad had just explained the black rocks to him, then things probably wouldn't have gone the way they did. Or, he'd like to think they wouldn't. And yet he can't find it in him to be angry at his dad. He guesses that desperate need to please the man will always override everything else. Even now. ]
no subject
ha yeah
at least he was doing it to protect you
not that that's a good reason, and it's still the dumbest thing dads can do
but it's coming from a good place, which is more than i can say about Martin
no subject
What was Martin like? If you don't mind talking about it.
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but family should be more important
[Sons should be more important.]
he abandoned me
Finn
Finn in the forest when he was a baby
i met him for the first time a couple years ago
when i was still Finn
he tricked me into breaking him out of cosmic prison with a bunch of other criminals, ditched me when the Lich broke out and took my right arm
he isn't a good guy
downright negligent
[Dads amirite.]
no subject
That's... really awful. I mean. I think that's beyond negligent and goes into abusive territory honestly? I'm sorry that happened to you. It's crappy that it happened at all.
no subject
ha ha well
i haven't had much luck with the wizard who made the grass sword either
he still considers me his property
and my adoptive dad died years ago
i think we both have bad luck with dads
no subject
[Fern is very clearly not okay, they have already established this. ]
I'm sorry you've had a really bad time with dads. I mean mine isn't perfect but at least he cares?
no subject
[He's really not, but yanno.]
it's cool
my adoptive dad wasn't perfect either but he cared a lot too
no subject
it doesn't really make up for the terrible ones, but it's better than nothing.
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[Finn wouldn't be who he was - and by extension Fern - if it wasn't for Joshua. His love for his adoptive dad are some of the few feelings he knows how to handle.]
i miss him pretty much every day
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[He's not without his own parental loss, but he doesn't remember his mother. It's hard to miss what you never had. But he remembers how it felt when he thought his dad was gone forever. He'd do anything to avoid being in that dark hole again.]
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there are a few good people here
some real jerks too
[Some people who deserve to die.]
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no subject
there's another
well he isn't a robot
he's an android
his name's K something something something
a bunch of numbers and letters
he's cool
no subject
[Maybe he shouldn't yell at them when they want some privacy, but whatever. ]
no subject
[Not like these two idiots and all the secrets they're trying to keep on the down low.]
i'm pretty sure if you say you're a friend of mine he won't have a problem
no subject
[Turns out not everyone is full of depressing self-loathing secrets. ]