Deerlybeloved

[droptheious]

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Deerlybeloved: Trienemybest
Varian / 17 / M / Bi

Who couldn't love a tiny feral alchemist with a dark past? Sure, he's a little rough around the edges, but he will think you shine like a carbon allotrope. He will stick to you like cyanoacrylate and you'll feel the electricity flowing between you like a galvanic cell. Be the acid to his litmus paper and turn him bright red when he finds you more attractive than francium. He must be made of copper and tellurium because he's a CuTe.

<span style="font-family:century gothic,helvetica,arial,sans-serif;"><img src="https://i.imgur.com/ScI5Hsw.png" style="height:20px;margin:0 5px -4px 0;"><b style="color:#05BB95;">username</b> matched with you!</span> MATCH

<lj-raw><span style="font-family:century gothic,helvetica,arial,sans-serif;"><img src="https://i.imgur.com/P3gZl1b.png" style="height:20px;margin:0 5px -4px 0;"> <b style="color:#05BB95;">username</b> sent you a message! <blockquote style="border-left:5px solid #ddd;padding:0 0 0 10px;"> Message_content </blockquote></span></lj-raw> MESSAGE

<span style="font-family:century gothic,helvetica,arial,sans-serif;"><img src="https://i.imgur.com/w2B4FYG.png" style="height:20px;margin:0 5px -4px 0;"><b style="color:#05BB95;">username</b> sent you a flirt!</span> FLIRT

CODE BY

Comments

[droptheious]

I like it a lot! Very good science flirt.

[...Wait. What.]

Fern? How did you know what to write if you didn't know what it was you're saying? That's a super specific thing right there.

I'm confused.

[Maybe it IS a trap? ]

[laminae]

well i was out over at the library
what's left of the library
and i found this book of pick up lines?
which i know i know Jake always said to never follow a book's advice when it comes to relationships cause they'll mess up your brains
but this one seems pretty harmless

[droptheious]

[Oh, okay. It's not a trap. His boyfriend is just a precious himbo, that's normal.]

I was not aware such books existed, but my brain feels fine currently? I'll let you know if anything changes on that front.

Um. Thanks for taking the time to look for a very good science flirt. Even if you don't know what it means.

Man, what would you have done it if actually meant something deeply insulting?

[laminae]

[He's doing his best!]

just maybe don't read them and you'll be fine
you're welcome!
so what's it mean?

oh man i would've had egg on my face
i think i'd apologize a ton and do something sciencey to make it up to you?
like a bunch of science dates

1/2

[droptheious]

I honestly don't think my flirting could get any WORSE than it already is, but duly noted.

[Oh, Fern. Fern you precious idiot.]

OKAY! SO!!

A covalent bond is what happens when two atoms share a pair of electrons. They're really strong bonds, super hard to break. So like, say hydrogen and chlorine atoms connect to one another on their outer shells because of their shared electrons. Suddenly they become hydrogen chloride! Now it's a whole stable atom. It's how a lot of chemical mixes happen, like water! That's when one oxygen atom attaches to two hydrogen atoms by their covalent bond. So that's how you get H20. COOL, right?

2/2

[droptheious]

I'm pretty sure you owe me a science date already. I did the worm thing, it's your turn. Just saying.

[laminae]

oh, i'm pretty sure it can
you haven't reached the bottom of the pit that is bad flirting
(and i don't think your flirting is bad anyways!!)

[Wow. Wowwww. He regrets asking. He's understanding... some of this, but it's a lot and he's not a science whiz like Varian is. Still, from the detailed explanation it's obvious this is making Varian happy, so he gives the answer a second and third read through.]

cool
so we're like oxygen and hydrogen
i like that

oh ha ha
ok science dates it is!

[droptheious]

Oh, that means there's still more levels for me to drop then. Good to know!
(I appreciate the vote of confidence)

[Sorry, Fern, you did ask. He ALMOST goes into another long lecture on the chemical breakdown of water, but Fern is spared this day, he reigns it in.]

You know what, sure. We're like oxygen and hydrogen.

Great! I'm holding you to that. Not that there's a whole lot left to do in the town any more, but still.

[laminae]

ha ha very funny
don't worry i'll tell you if you get bad at it

[Except he won't because he'll never not find Varian's flirting attempts endearing.

And he appreciates it, so much.]

cool! so when we're together we make something good

[Which is a big change for the two of them.]

don't worry
i'll find something

[droptheious]

I still say that ship has sailed so I'm not holding you to that one.

[It always bodes well for Varian that Fern appreciates his terrible, terrible flirting. And aww, that's... actually a really nice way of putting it. He likes that a lot. ]

Yeah, we really do.

I am both curious and mildly worried about what you'll find. Kind of a mix, really.

[laminae]

no
no no noooo
you're going to hold me to that because that ship totally hasn't left the dock yet

hey you don't need to be worried about anything
i've hung around you long enough to know enough science to be able to make a good date out of it

[Varian is probably right to be worried.]

[droptheious]

If you say so. I guess you're the person it really matters with, after all.

[Fern's the only one who has to endure Varian's awful flirting.]

Okaaaaay. I guess you would have got some of it by osmosis by now, right?

[Right?]

[laminae]

hah, i guess that's true

[He certainly doesn't mind that.]

of course!!
what's osmosis

[droptheious]

[B A B E]

...

It's when molecules move from one solvent to a higher solvent one through a selective permeable membrane.

[God that probably does not help.]

In this case it means you're learning science just by hanging out with me.

[laminae]

[He's trying his best okay.]

oh

[That makes no sense to him. Thankfully, the second explanation is one he understands.]

OH
cool!
yeah i'm definitely doing that
it's hard not to pick up on that stuff around you since you're so passionate about it

[droptheious]

[He's trying his very best and Varian appreciates him so much for it.]

Oh, well. Good. It's pretty cool stuff to learn! Like, everything you ever want to know about the universe can be found in science. It's amazing!

[laminae]

everything? there's no way science can answer everything

[This iiiis.... probably not a road Fern should go down, but he doesn't know any better.]

[droptheious]

[Fern, you've known Varian for a year and change. You've been living with him for 11 months and been dating him for 6. You really, really should know better. ]

Um. Disagree? Everything is science! The air you breathe? Science? How water works? Science. Sun and moon? Definitely science!

Do I need to get my folders out again? I think I need to get my folders out again.

[laminae]

[He really should, he doesn't fully realize the hole he's digging for himself.]

oh my Glob please don't get the folders out
i'm just thinking there's stuff out there science can't explain
like me and you know, magic

[droptheious]

[There's already the sound of moving downstairs, Fern. It's too late.]

No no, I think the folders are needed. Because it can explain a lot about you. Like photosynthesis and why herbicides are bad for you (I told you so) and there's no magic that can't be explained by science eventually.

[laminae]

[Oh nooo, he's glancing over towards his bedroom window, debating booking it out of here.]

i think you're exaggerating, we don't need the folders
we really don't

wait geez was that seriously another i told you so

man
i think you're just too attached to science

1/3

[droptheious]

[There's no escape, Fern. You have to come home eventually. ]


We definitely need the folders.

And yes. Seriously another I told you so. I've only got a few days left, I need to get them in.

...

2/3

[droptheious]

3/3

[droptheious]

I see you have chosen death today.

[laminae]

[This was a mistake. This was a huge mistake. He has so many regrets right now.]

i
what

nooo
no no i definitely haven't chosen death!
i barely said anything!

[He might be getting out of bed and going for his window at this point.]