[He wasn't expecting a response for a while. Hell, if he were brutally honest with himself, he didn't expect her to reply at all. Ruby's a decent person, and she thought he was the same. He hid the truth from her, and she deserved better than that.
It would be smarter for her to just cut her losses and run now. Because he'd been a mess and he was still a mess. A part of him was always worried he was only a small misstep away from becoming a monster again- because he was sure a part of him was still broken and awful. Why would he inflict that on someone like her?
But she does respond. And he takes his time to mull over her answer. It's a better response than he expected- by a long way. Not quite the utter forgiveness Rapunzel provided him, and he's glad of that. Rapunzel's attitude is smothering sometimes- she may be trying to make him feel accepted and better, but it only serves to remind him how terrible he is. At least Ruby is more grounded than that and he's glad for it. ]
It's... a lot, I know. And I needed to tell you. You matter a lot to me. You deserved the truth. Then at least you could make more informed choices about spending time with me. It didn't feel fair any more, keeping you in the dark. It wasn't exactly lying, but it was close enough. Hiding the truth from you didn't feel like a real option any more, brave or not.
I don't expect forgiveness, I sure don't deserve it. But thank you. For that. And for hearing me out. If you want to bail out now, you absolutely can. I genuinely wouldn't blame you. No hard feelings.
[He doesn't want her to. He wants to stay the Varian who would go into a burning building to save his friend. He wants to keep being the Varian she can believe in, instead of... that. But it's only fair he gives her the option. She wouldn't do it herself- but with a choice... he doesn't know. Maybe. ]
no subject
It would be smarter for her to just cut her losses and run now. Because he'd been a mess and he was still a mess. A part of him was always worried he was only a small misstep away from becoming a monster again- because he was sure a part of him was still broken and awful. Why would he inflict that on someone like her?
But she does respond. And he takes his time to mull over her answer. It's a better response than he expected- by a long way. Not quite the utter forgiveness Rapunzel provided him, and he's glad of that. Rapunzel's attitude is smothering sometimes- she may be trying to make him feel accepted and better, but it only serves to remind him how terrible he is. At least Ruby is more grounded than that and he's glad for it. ]
It's... a lot, I know. And I needed to tell you. You matter a lot to me. You deserved the truth. Then at least you could make more informed choices about spending time with me. It didn't feel fair any more, keeping you in the dark. It wasn't exactly lying, but it was close enough. Hiding the truth from you didn't feel like a real option any more, brave or not.
I don't expect forgiveness, I sure don't deserve it. But thank you. For that. And for hearing me out. If you want to bail out now, you absolutely can. I genuinely wouldn't blame you. No hard feelings.
[He doesn't want her to. He wants to stay the Varian who would go into a burning building to save his friend. He wants to keep being the Varian she can believe in, instead of... that. But it's only fair he gives her the option. She wouldn't do it herself- but with a choice... he doesn't know. Maybe. ]