[He wants to poke more at this, but he doubts it'll do either of them any good. He exhales sharply through his nose burying it... for now. He's for sure going to mull on this for a while, though. Maybe Finn isn't as perfect as Fern likes to think he is. Big shocker.
He visibly relaxes as the solution works. Good. His thumb traces over the newly formed grass for a moment, checking it was holding. Satisfied, he shifts back a little, giving Fern his space back. A tired smile flickers across his face. ]
It's okay. You shouldn't have to worry about telling me how you really feel. I... didn't react well. [Story of his life. He rubs the back of his neck.] Look. Up until today I never even thought- well, I don't know. I thought "girls" was my only option but maybe it's not, but I just need to... figure that out. It's a lot to suddenly realise, y'know?
[The signs were always there. but he'd ignored them- because of course, he had. His romantic life prior to coming here was a crush on a woman who was much too old for him and was absolutely not interested in indulging in the puppy crush of a fourteen-year-old boy. ]
And I'm still trying to work out... everything with Ruby and I guess it's just... a lot, right now. All at once. [He lets out a self-deprecating chuckle] In case you haven't noticed, I'm really not good with people anyway, so this is a whole mess of confusion for me right now. And that's on me. Not you.
[He offers a smile, a little smaller this time.]
Look, I'm sorry I can't give you what you want right now - and frankly, you could do better anyway. I don't know... I think I need time? Just... time. And if you don't want to speak to me again because of that, that's fine. I get it. It hurts. You
[Rejection. When you've put your heart down on the line. ]
But you're still one of the most important people in my life, no matter what, okay? None of this changes that. Not ever. I just... I miss having my best friend around, y'know? I understand if you don't want that, or if it's not enough. [The terrible, poisonous voice in the back of his mind reminds him he's never going to be enough for anyone. It takes the wind out of his sails somewhat, so he finishes a little lamely.] But...yeah.
no subject
He visibly relaxes as the solution works. Good. His thumb traces over the newly formed grass for a moment, checking it was holding. Satisfied, he shifts back a little, giving Fern his space back. A tired smile flickers across his face. ]
It's okay. You shouldn't have to worry about telling me how you really feel. I... didn't react well. [Story of his life. He rubs the back of his neck.] Look. Up until today I never even thought- well, I don't know. I thought "girls" was my only option but maybe it's not, but I just need to... figure that out. It's a lot to suddenly realise, y'know?
[The signs were always there. but he'd ignored them- because of course, he had. His romantic life prior to coming here was a crush on a woman who was much too old for him and was absolutely not interested in indulging in the puppy crush of a fourteen-year-old boy. ]
And I'm still trying to work out... everything with Ruby and I guess it's just... a lot, right now. All at once. [He lets out a self-deprecating chuckle] In case you haven't noticed, I'm really not good with people anyway, so this is a whole mess of confusion for me right now. And that's on me. Not you.
[He offers a smile, a little smaller this time.]
Look, I'm sorry I can't give you what you want right now - and frankly, you could do better anyway. I don't know... I think I need time? Just... time. And if you don't want to speak to me again because of that, that's fine. I get it. It hurts. You
[Rejection. When you've put your heart down on the line. ]
But you're still one of the most important people in my life, no matter what, okay? None of this changes that. Not ever. I just... I miss having my best friend around, y'know? I understand if you don't want that, or if it's not enough. [The terrible, poisonous voice in the back of his mind reminds him he's never going to be enough for anyone. It takes the wind out of his sails somewhat, so he finishes a little lamely.] But...yeah.